The word gay, which was often used to describe moments that were joyous or lighthearted and carefree, has evolved considerably.
In modern usage, the word "gay" colloquially refers to homosexual men, but it can also be used in a demeaning way typically drawn from LGBTQ stereotypes of men behaving or appearing in a flamboyant manner.
Curious to hear how strangers online experienced how the word was used, Redditor Infrared-masochism asked:
"What’s the weirdest thing you’ve been told not to do because it’s 'Gay?'"
Interests in certain hobbies are apparently a dead giveaway of queerness.
Oh, Snap!
"I took up photography a few years back and my friends asked me to photograph their wedding. I did it and even made them a slideshow with nice music because I wanted to try it out. I showed it to them and my buddy said it was gay. He called his own wedding photos gay."
– livinalieontimna
Repeat Offender
"A few things I've been called gay for doing:
- Reading
- Using an umbrella
- Wearing a sweater
- Not knowing how to play any songs by Stevie Ray Vaughn on the guitar at age 15
- Yawning
- 'Wearing a shirt with another man's name on it' (it was a hockey jersey with a player's name on it and I was 12)
Just to name a few off the top of my head!"
– PoisonLenny37
Way With Words
"The funny (not funny) thing too was it was when I was in grade 4 and it was the student teacher who said it. We did an annual trip to a water park in June every year before the end of the school year. I had a broken arm that year so on the way out to the bus I ran back to the room and grabbed a book and as I was walking out he was like 'a book? You're gonna spend the day READING?' and I was like 'well, broken arm, ya know?' And he was like 'pretty gay, dude, pretty gay!'"
– PoisonLenny37
With A Dreamy Far Off Look...
"I didn't know my Dad was your teacher, holy sh*t. Well at least you got it lucky, as someone who still carries around a book with him to this very day, Dad used to call me a gay for reading just about everywhere all the time. 'you're so busy with your face in a book all the time. I'm so disappointed in you, Son. I brought extra condoms down with me because I thought you'd be a chip off the old block taking virginity." - My Dad on the common area at the hotel we were staying at on vacation when I was 13 years old."
– byehavefun
Kitchen Kween
"Cooking. Umm, I have to feed myself and I’d prefer fresh, nutritious meals that don’t require unhealthy takeaway and cost a fortune."
– bruh_wut69
Observing these normal types of behavior had skeptics convinced of their suspicions.
Squeaky Clean
"My Dad used to tell my brothers not to wash thier hair so much.or they would 'turn gay'."
– ineedatinylama
"Real men can fry a steak with the grease in their hair 👌"
– LionToTheSlaughter99
Cat Gender
"I was taken aside by my deeply concerned and shocked friend and was told 'you know that’s a MALE cat you’re stroking?' I was astonished."
– jim_jiminy
The Stigma Of Kindness
"Being kind to others."
"Excuse me, wasn't aware that I had to burp and fart right in your face to state that I'm a straight guy."
– Lumbertech
"I've heard this one many times. Apparently basic human decency is in such short supply these days that the idea that it could come from a straight person is inconceivable."
– thequietthingsthat
Ear Candy
"Literally just happened about 5 minutes ago. Listening to music at work, Cindy Lauper's 'Time After Time' came on. Co-worker walked by and informed me how gay I looked sitting at my desk listening to that song."
– Bypolur
There is a straight way and a gay way to examine your body parts.
Not-So-Cute Cuticle Check
"Apparently I passed a straight guy test (back in the 90s) when I looked at my nails palm up with my fingers curled in vs palm down with my fingers out straight."
– Humble_Nobody2884
"Had a friend who said he had weird bumps coming up on his skin so i suggested he go to the dermatologist. He said only women do that. Alright man, good luck…"
– mrboondoggle
In elementary school, a couple of my classmates asked me to check my shoe because I stepped on gum.
I bent my right leg behind me and looked over my shoulder to inspect the sole of my shoe, which turned out to be devoid of any of the suspected gooey substance.
The two yahoos howled hysterically and said the way I checked my shoe was soooo gay, and that therefore, I must be."
Apparently, straight dudes would inspect the bottom of the shoe by lifting their feet up in front of them and inverting their ankles upward.
Gee... how did they know?
People who engage with more than one gender have a really unique experience.
Those of us who fall squarely into heterosexual or homosexual know the emotional and sexual patterns of the genders we are attracted to, for the most part. We know what to expect on a first date or in a long term relationship.
We don't have to keep track of too much information. Bisexual folks on the other hand? They have their work cut out for them.
u/Bri-ioche asked:
"Bisexual people of reddit, what are the biggest diffferences between having a relationship with a man and with a woman?"
Here were some of their answers.
Cuddle Time
As a bisexual man, it's awesome to be little spoon and actually fit. I know that's probably not what you're looking for, but it's the first thing that came to mind.
Snail's Pace
In my experience, relationships with men move a lot slower than relationships with women.
In a relationship with a man, we talk for several weeks, then we date for a month before we even discuss defining the relationship. With women, you go on two dates, and then she has a drawer at your place.
I'm a woman in my late 20s. I've had 4 girlfriends and 3 boyfriends since I was 15. Edited again: Thanks for the gold!
Homophobia: Alive And Well
I'm a bi woman and to be honest the biggest difference for me is other people's perception of my relationship.
When I date men I don't get the same 21 questions from strangers and family members as to why I've made the choice to date that person.
Also once when I was dating a woman my step-grandma asked me not to hold her hand or kiss her at Thanksgiving dinner so that it wouldn't "confuse the children"... They've never asked me to withhold public affection from male partners. I think I've dated more men than women long term because it was the path of least resistance.
It's Called Not The Bare Minimum
As a man, men who've only dated women before are really easy to impress. I bought my ex dinner a few times and he just about lost his mind because no one had done that for him before. I've heard lesbians say the same thing about women, so I think it's more of a societal expectation thing than anything else.
Getting Faster
From my experience at least, wlw relationships tend to move faster? I can't explain it like when I was with my ex we were so ride or die since day one, saying i love you after less than a month together, very intense overall. Also unfortunately, sometimes you get to realize how much bias and prejudice your "friends" and family might secretly hold.
With men, I never had something like that. There were a lot more downtime I guess? Also no fear about having to go out while holding hands, or introducing to the family.
Although, aside from a few things, I think it's very different overall because people are different, ya know? Like my ex was very extroverted and my bf is very introverted, so the dynamic changes because of that too.
Again, Not The Bare Minimum
With most of the women I dated, gift/acts of kindness were an every day thing. Like, I'd make an extra stop for something they liked and it wouldn't be a big deal to them.
Every. Single. Guy. I have dated has lost their minds over the little things. When my husband and I first started dating, I stopped and got him a slushie while I got gas, not even an extra stop. I just set it in front of him at his apartment and you'd have thought it was the Holy Grail.
Let's Gender Dumb Things!
With a hetero relationship, there a lot of gender based assumptions. The dude drive and kills the bugs. The woman remembers that they're out of milk and arranges social things. It's not always true, but even then it feels like you're breaking the norm and "different". With gays there is much less expectations. Chores tend to be distributed evenly. Who kills the bugs is sometimes both or neither.
Tossed Around
I'm a small human, and when I date women they're mostly my size, but men are usually at least 6" taller and have 50 pounds on me. There are a lot of physical differences with cuddling and sex with partners of different sizes. I love that men can pick me up (when I want them to) and that I get to feel tiny and safe with men I trust. With women, it's more equal, so we switch back and forth between being the cuddler and the cuddlee. Also with women, we usually take turns (getting attention) during sex whereas with men it's more likely to be just one effort.
That Homophobia Will Getcha Every Time
I've dated more women than men, but both of the guys were way easier and more direct than any of the women were. Sex with a guy is easier to get started; literally you can be playing video games on the couch and suddenly you're both horny and going for it. Women need more prep time, generally, it's almost never 0-100 in a flash. It's slower to get started and longer to reach the finish, but in my opinion it is more satisfying when you both get there.
Culturally it is easier to date women as it isn't immediately seen as taboo by most people. Almost nobody will bat an eye if you kiss as hetero in public, but you'll get a look or two if you're the same gender.
These have been my experiences and in no way do I think it is universal, just the folks that have been nice enough to date me.
Sharing Time!
As a guy I found I get more excited for Christmas when I date guys rather than girls because it's a mutual want and desire (you get to share most things, clothes and video games). Woman are sweeter and love little gestures more than guys. Like when I do the dishes or make supper or clean the house they get super appreciative. Guys just brush it off or don't notice those kind of efforts.
Since we grow up in a world where it is assumed that we will be straight, we don't receive a lot of education on the LGBTQ+ community. Most places receive zero education, as decades of homophobia and gay erasure rear their ugly heads even in modern society.
So curiosity from straight people is natural. It's welcome. It only helps break down the walls between our communities.
u/l_a_z_y_b_u_g asked:
Straight people of reddit, what questions do you have for the LGBTQ community?
Here were some of those answers.
The Clever One First
What's on the gay agenda for today?
For the lesbians, today is gardening and obsessing over hot female actresses.
I mean we do that every day but whatever.
After polling my friends the answer seems to be animal crossing
Take Note, Straights!
What are the creepy or offensive things things that well-meaning non-lgbt people say?
The question "so which one is the girl and which one is the guy" is pretty offensive. We are not trying to fit ourselves in a straight mold. Were both girls/ were both guys. It's like the whole point.
Asking whose on top can be pretty intrusive if you don't know them well.
Asking a trans person their birth name or what's in their pants is super rude.
Hetlag
Are there "straight jokes"? Straight people use jokes about being gay all the time, especially guys.
I don't think it's the case for everybody but one of my group of friends is like 80% LGBT+ people and YES. So many jokes and puns about straight/cis people. But none of them are insults and I never heard a violent joke about straight people.
We DEFINILTY have jokes about the straights™ though. Like about heterophobia or straight pride.
This Is A Good Perspective, Listen Up
I'm not straight but I've always wanted to ask a trans person what they mean when they say they "feel like a man/woman". I guess it's probably not entirely tangible but I've always found it intriguing.
Imagine waking up every day of your life feeling like something's wrong. You're perfectly healthy, your life is great, but there's something wrong. You just don't know what.
The feeling gets worse when you look at yourself in a mirror, or see your body. It gets even worse when puberty starts and you watch your body change and you hate it, but you don't know why. There's just something wrong.
The feeling sometimes gets better when you look at people of the opposite sex (for me, girls). Sometimes, it gets worse and you get frustrated for no reason. Maybe you have a crush on one of those girls. Maybe you just want some attention from them. But then, if you had a crush on one of them, there would be some happiness. There just isn't. Never. Your life is great but you're miserable and you can't figure out why.
Then one day a random thought occurs. I wish I were a girl. Then you understand what was wrong with you all your life.
The way I experienced it, it's a mix of discomfort, longing, and envy. I wasn't comfortable with my body (mind you, I had an awful life, which is why I didn't explore these issues until I gained some control over it in my early 20s) because I was male. I was hoping something would change without really knowing what. I envied girls simply for being girls.
This might be controversial, but I wouldn't say I "feel" like a woman. I'm a woman. Just not physically, alas. Even now after successfully transitioning, I'm aware that I'm still biologically male. It still bothers me. But I can live my life as a woman and that's a massive weight off of my shoulders. I can look at my body or into a mirror. I wake up in the morning without that residual feeling that something is wrong. I am no longer miserable.
Identity is a difficult question and everyone has their own perception of it. I don't think you'll ever get a definite answer on your question. The best you can get is a variety of testimonials and personal experiences, few of which you will resonate with.
Moms Trying To Be Better
What do (or did) you need from your mom?
(Mom of a trans teenager. I do my best to support him, and want to learn to do better)
The most important thing is to affirm his identity. Use his new name and pronouns. Making mistakes is okay, but work on it.
Otherwise, help him protect himself. There is a ton of hate directed at transgender teens, and someone of his age isn't going to have the emotional maturity to deal with it all. Whenever someone wants to deny who he is, have his back.
If he hasn't started puberty blockers yet, it's 100% worth it. Puberty blockers now means no mastectomy later. And if he changes his mind later (he probably won't) they're mostly reversible.
It's Common Because Women Are Nice
How come it's common for a gay man to befriend straight women but it's uncommon for a lesbian to befriend straight men?
I'm gay and my sister a lesbian. My female friends have never requested to watch my husband and I have sex. Straight men are always asking my sister if they can watch my sister and her wife have sex. there's your answer.
Your First Gay Movie
I've been fortunate enough to have quite a few close friends who were gay in my lifetime, so I've got no "how do things work" kind of questions that haven't been answered.
However, one of my favorites that I always ask when we're in the process of becoming friends... If you're around my age (mid-30's), and a gay guy, did you first realize you might be gay when watching the volley ball scene in Top Gun? And if not, why are you lying to me about when you first realized you were gay?
I remember a reading an interview with John Cryer about Duckie in Pretty in Pink. And he was saying how people would come up to him and thank him because that's how they realized they were in the closet.
And he said he was kind of shocked because he didn't realize Duckie was closeted, but when he mentioned it to the other cast they all knew.
So, of course, that's when I first realized that Duckie was gay in that movie.
Beep Boop
How does "gaydar" work? How reliable is it?
Gaydar is just that... Recognizing that someone is likely to be LGBTQ. It can be based on any number of things - mannerisms, hair and clothes, subtle references and symbols that might not obvious to people who aren't "in the know," etc.
As to efficacy? Moderate? But there are also some false positives - people who are assumed to be LGBT but aren't.
The Gays. They're Everywhere.
What did you wish you knew as a teenager that you know now?
There are so many more gay people in this world than statistics shows, because may people are either still in the closet or don't come out as gay on any form of census.
Rage Against
As a father of a LGBTQ daughter how do I not rage at people who oppose the fact my daughter exist.
Lesbian here. You can have a little rage. As a treat.
Seriously though this comment made me smile. You seem like a wonderful dad. You don't have to hold in your anger at people who are pissed at your daughter for simply existing. Take the protective father stereotype and use it for good! :)
Straight People Divulge Which Questions They've Been Too Embarrassed To Ask Their LGBTQ Friends And Family
Being someone who is in the LGBTQIA+ community, I always really appreciate open conversation with people outside the community. There's no shame in asking questions--it's best to foster the conversation rather than make assumptions. But straight people will always have questions. Here are some of them.
u/VictorAnichebend asked: [Serious] Straight people of Reddit, what questions do you have for LGBT people you'd be too embarrassed to ask in person?
nobody will expel you from the gayhood......
Sexuality is not black and white, there's a lot of grey areas. So, yes, it's perfectly ok for a gay guy to feel attracted to a girl at some point. I think that's the biggest difference between homosexuality and heterosexuality: If you are gay and kiss a girl nobody will expel you from the gayhood, if you are straight and kiss another man you'll be forever known as a closeted gay. rgb-queiroz
Eye Roll Issue....
GiphyI dated a girl who was pansexual for a time but never bothered to ask her what the difference is between being bi and being pan. Mostly cause it doesn't matter if there's a difference but I am kinda curious because when I was dating her I told a gay friend of mine she was pan and he kinda rolled his eyes. P2Pbytaxes
Outing.
What was it like to come out to your parents/people you care about? Btw for those that have traditional parents, I'm so proud of you. juandeagen
I never got the coming out story everyone else has, because I was outed to my parents. The hardest person to come out to was a girl I worked with who obviously had feelings for me. Tried to let her down gently but I just felt like an arsehole. VictorAnichebend
"I think I have a crush on this girl."
I came out to one of my friends first in like 6th grade (I know its crazy young). The thing is I had just moved from the North to the South my 6th grade year. When I first arrived to my school I easily made friends. I started dropping hints to my new friends. Some of them picked up, and some didn't. I came out to a girl during lunch in the bathroom. All I said was "I think I have a crush on this girl."
She was so nice to me and we're still friends to this day. She was the first person to really accept me and make me feel ok about my sexuality considering I was so young. We always talked during school and she just was so nice and understanding. However with my parents I never "formally" came out. They just went through my phone and found texts and my social media with the pride flag in it. lilaanh
"yes mam" or "no sir"
GiphyI guess this is more for the Ts, but who knows. I live in Atlanta and have been raised in the rural south my whole life. Mam and Sir are hardwired into my vocab and always will be. I feel like a moron or an fool when I hear your voice on the drive thru, or your voice from across a room and respond with "yes mam" or "no sir" etc and i look up to see you are of the opposite gender. How would you want me to respond in those situations to show you I'm apologetic and not actively trying to be insensitive? I fear rewiring southern traditions at 35 y/o may be too difficult. MK18_Ocelot
How do you dictate?
Sexuality is entirely a spectrum of people with varying desires, drives, and needs. There are people that find sex as a repulsive as picking somebody's nose, and others who are total horndogs. Some people want to take people to pound town, others like it slow and sensual, and kissing is hotter than penetrative sex. Your sexual preference largely doesn't dictate this. Commander_Shepard_
To the T's....
To the T's out there, how and when did you realize.
I have a trans friend who is currently socially transitioning so I don't want to ask heavy questions as she has recently gone through a lot.
Edit: don't want to be that guy but this blew up in terms of notifications. SheepishBlacksmith
My anonymous blood-relation said it was coming on slowly for a while but it finally clicked for her in class. She had already been questioning for a few months when this happened. Her all female table group was being very rowdy so the teacher said "ladies quiet it down!" And she just knew when she was called a lady that it was right. Gay-Alchemist
BI the way...
Where can I go to learn about the newer terms and what they mean? I don't know what asexual or pansexual or many other terms and I would just prefer to not be ignorant. jesusz1lla
I know it's cliche, but seriously, just google the terms. You'll quickly come up with several places that will explain the terms. However, I'll explain the two you specifically mentioned. Asexual in terms of sexuality means a person just has no or very little sex drive and/or really isn't attracted to any gender. Pansexual pretty much means they can be attracted to anyone regardless of gender or biological sex.
There is an argument as to if this is synonymous with bisexual with many people saying the are and others saying they aren't. As a bisexual myself, I come down on the no category because many, like myself, are only attracted to males and females but not, for example, hermaphrodites. Every pansexual I have discussed this are also be attracted to the people that fall outside of the typical male/female categories.
Slight edit to slightly more clarify asexuality. JPKent80
Not the Sheep.
GiphyI asked my gay friend "What if a guy is gay but only has sex with sheep? No, no, stop laughing and you didn't let me finish the question. They guy is gay but only has sex with MALE sheep? What about that?" He just laughed and said "What the hell is wrong with you? That's not being gay or straight, that's just being as sheep fool!"
And that's the story of how I accepted my gay friend for who he is and let him know that no matter what he would always be my friend. That is also the story of why my gay friend called me "closet sheep fool" for the rest of the night. sovereignsekte
The Hard Way.
Is it hard being lgbt. m0rh3n
Yes, very. I am blessed with a very supportive family who didn't bat an eye when I came out. But there's still the rest of the world.
I can't go to school without people screaming about how I'm going to hell in the courtyard. My SO's family is catholic so we're constantly sneaking around so they don't have to know I exist. In general you're just trying to live life then BOOM. There is something or someone reminding you that you don't fit in and they don't want you to exist. Gay-Alchemist
It's all about boundaries.
I'm female, In college I had a friend who was a lesbian, and we ended up sharing a room for a few years. I always wondered but never felt right asking; is it okay for me to change down to nearly naked (we kept underpants on) when she was also in the room, since we were both women? Or should I step into the bathroom, the way I would if it was a male friend in the room, due to attraction? It felt like a silly question and I didn't want to cause tension or be insulting. I ended up just changing in the room, since it was three years and constantly hiding would have gotten tiresome.
But I did wonder if maybe I had actually been doing something awkward without realizing it?
This may have been something to ask her. I know it probably felt too awkward to do so at the time, but I think it's good, regardless of sexuality, to have a clear understanding of each other's boundaries. In other words, even if your roommate was straight, it probably would have been good to just say something like, "Hey, would you prefer I change in the bathroom, or are you ok with me changing in here?"
Of course, you definitely don't want to assume she's attracted to you simply because you're a woman, just as you don't want to assume what her general comfort level is like with this type of stuff. And probably vice versa on her side, with you, because your boundaries are also important to take into consideration.
I think it varies from person to person - different people will be ok with different things. I'm a lesbian who's had three different female roommates of three different sexualities during these past few college years, and in every case, I asked to make sure I didn't make my roommates uncomfortable.
One of my roommates was comfortable being completely naked in front of me when she was changing, another always stepped into the restroom or wore a bathrobe (not because she was creeped out by me, but because that's just how she rolled), and my current one is comfortable with me seeing her in underwear. Of course I always made sure to reciprocate and never overstep the comfort level of my roommates. I think if you just asked casually without making it a huge thing, there is little chance your roommate would have been offended.
I guess we'll never know how she felt unless she says, but it sounds like you both got through it ok. If it disturbed her too much, she most likely would have said something. I'm sure you were fine.
Definitely.
GiphyWhen they have gay couples in movies and TV shows, does that actually make you feel included?
It feels really good. I'm not against straight couples or anything, but it's really good to see a gay couple in something.
Well put.
Gay dude here, but was just thinking about this earlier today:
Do people who identify as asexual enjoy pleasuring themselves?
Not Ace myself, but asexual people often enjoy sex and self stimulation but simply do not experience sexual attraction.
It's ok.
How do you help let someone know that it's ok?
I have a friend Daniel who's turning 30 and never been with anyone. He's never come out or acknowledge it and actually expresses disgust at other gay men. When he sees other men holding hands in public or at a gay bar, he will tell me how gross they are.
He has an obvious crush on one of my other guy friends Ben (who's married to a woman). Ben could sense it too and told him in a light hearted joking way that he wasn't gay. Daniel reacted angrily that he wasn't gay then later that night, left literally 12 miss calls/ messages that he wasn't gay to me and another friend who witnessed it.
He has depression and I've watched him become so sad and really selfish. He has become obsessed with how he looks as well. I think a part of what has triggered his depression is about being gay and in denial. He also encourages other friends in bad relationships (infidelity etc) to stay with each other despite it obviously being not ok.
Valid question.
GiphyI've been fortunate enough to have quite a few close friends who were gay in my lifetime, so I've got no "how do things work" kind of questions that haven't been answered.
However, one of my favorites that I always ask when we're in the process of becoming friends... If you're around my age (mid-30's), and a gay guy, did you first realize you might be gay when watching the volley ball scene in Top Gun? And if not, why are you lying to me about when you first realized you were gay?
Everyone has their own story.
How old where you when you realized you were LGBTQ? Did you feel guilt at first because you were so-called "different" from the other kids? No disrespect intended of course.
It took me a long time to accept that I was bi, I thought for many of my teen years that it was just me being sexually over whelmed and hence I didn't care who I fantasized about or what I had to do to lose my virginity.
My first sexual partner was my girlfriend at the time but I almost had a relationship with an older boy in my high school but I got scared about people in my family finding out and especially my parents since my dad was not kind about anyone being lgbt.
It was until my 20's that I decided to experiment and then after some time I accepted I'm bi and yeah I'm happy about being honest with my family and myself.
Okay Patrick Bateman.
Do you look in the mirror and get turned on?
Kinda, but that has more to do with my narcissism.
Do you like Huey Lewis and the News?
Classic.
Do you ever get confused about your own desires? Like, do you see a nice butt and you're not sure if you want that butt or if you want that butt?
Ah yes, the classic 'be him or f*** him' dilemma.
Nibling.
What do I call my sister's child now? I know that they use they, them, their as pronouns and that is all good. I know they have chosen a name they want to be addressed as and that is all good too. What I don't know is how would I refer to them in conversation to show our relationship. They are neither my niece nor my nephew. So is it just , this is my sister's child? Or is there a phrase or a reference that I should be using?
Probably just ask.
I came out to my half-sister, and she asked what her kids should call me (I said "uncle" because I think some of the new words sound a little childish). If any of my extended family gave a sh*t about LGBT people or my preferences, I'd just prefer to be called "one of [mom's] kids". But some might want to be called niece, nephew, nibling, sibkid, etc
Mom Outraged After Florida Teacher Confronted 11-Year-Old Daughter In Front Of Class And Asked If She Is A Lesbian
Grade school teachers calling on students to answer a question should relate to the lesson, not to a student's personal life.
A fifth-grade student at Northport K-8 in Port St. Lucie in Florida is embarrassed to go back to school because a teacher asked if she was a lesbian in front of the whole class.
The 11-year-old girl's mother, Jezenia Gambino, is duly upset after hearing about the incident which stemmed from a circulating rumor.
"The rumor was that my daughter and another 5th-grade little girl were dating."
You can watch the WPTV news report below.
Gambino said the teacher confronted her 11 year-old daughter and her friend in front of other students.
"She asked them if they were together if they were dating as a couple together and she asked them in a way that they felt they were in trouble."
Gambino did not know about what happened until her daughter received a text from the other girl.
"She wasn't sure if they should hang out together anymore because of what happened in school. She didn't want anyone to think they were gay."
Gambino reported the incident to the school principal which led to the St. Lucie County School District opening an investigation.
On Friday, she learned in an email that the unnamed teacher was given a verbal warning. They were also reported to the Florida Department of Education for engaging in inappropriate communication with a student.
The teacher's actions sparked outrage online.
Ann Glassford wrote on Facebook:
"This is so wrong in many ways!! This teacher should not be teaching since she is biased!!! Every child being taught in school should be able to be themselves without being a accosted for being themselves!!!"
"Especially in a public school! Private schools ya might as well give up on! They have their old ways and won't be accepting of humans without their beliefs!!"
Pruz HM thought the situation should have been handled differently.
"I think asking them in front of the entire class was wrong and should've been handled differently. I think she should also address why the other kids think the two kids are dating."
"The teacher and could also make it a general lesson how not to spread rumors about people when you dont know the facts."
Dana Brooks and many others asked why the teacher had any business in making the inquiry in the first place.
"I would be very angry if a teacher did this to my child. It is so clearly inappropriate to bring something like this up in front of the whole class."
"In the workplace if two employees were dating and a manager needed to address it the company would very much be responsible for creating a hostile work environment if the manager brought the issue up in front of staff that didn't need to be involved."
"These are children they are far less equipped to handle something like this. Also the power differential (from the child's perspective) is far more extreme."
850 WFTL/Facebook
Orlando Sentinel/Facebook
Orlando Sentinel/Facebook
Orlando Sentinel/Facebook
Orlando Sentinel/Facebook
@HomeschoolE The issue with this is that she accused in a shameful way. What if the girl was a lesbian and not read… https://t.co/5ZDGO2YuTO— ⟭⟬MichelleWithLuv⁷⟬⟭ (@⟭⟬MichelleWithLuv⁷⟬⟭) 1581621608
Port St. Lucie mom says her 5th grader's teacher accused her daughter of being a lesbian https://t.co/M0tUVN3BPu Th… https://t.co/6AwvdiK57w— James A Clark Jr 🏳️🌈 (@James A Clark Jr 🏳️🌈) 1581535798
Ryan Thoreson— an LGBTQ researcher at Human Rights Watch—told Head Topics that the incident was a result of a lack of training for school teachers and administrators on LGBTQ cultural competency.
Thoreson wrote in an email on Wednesday:
"One of the most surprising findings from our research on LGBT issues in U.S. schools was that a lot of students said teachers and administrators were a bigger problem for them than other students."
"Other students knew it wasn't OK to be overtly homophobic or transphobic, but school staff would still publicly humiliate LGBT kids for who they dated, what they wore, or how they identified."
Gambino believes the district has not done enough to protect her daughter.
As a result, she felt forced to home-schooling her daughter for the rest of the school year.
She also found herself trying to undo the psychological damage that was inflicted.
"What they did affected my daughter in a way that now I'm having to go back and fix."