People Divulge The Petty Annoyance They Wish They Could Inflict On Their Worst Enemy
For some of us, there is that one person who is the antithesis of all that is good.
"What minor inconvenience do you wish upon your worst enemy?"
Minor bodily discomforts can be a splendid idea.
Invasion Of The Crack
"Long loose hairs in their underwear and that cringey feeling when it gets in their butt."
– AzureTerrace
Evil Crumbs
"After every meal, you get something stuck in your teeth, and you don’t have any way of getting it out."
– -PlugUgly
When they just can't seem to catch a break, it's like a little present.
Incomplete Meal
"May the Chik-fil-a employee forget to give you Chik-fil-a sauce with your meal (you REALLY wanted it) and may you only realize this after having driven 20 minutes away."
– Uruk-HiThere
No Spot For You
"That every 'available' parking spot at the packed mall/grocery store has a mini car in it."
– Auslan02
A Spider's Journey
"That feeling when you're out walking and inexplicably walk face first into some strands of a spider's web even though you're in a relatively open space."
"You wipe at your face but now you've got the eternal feeling of web strands behind your ear, in your hair, on the nape of your neck."
"You open hand wipe again, chicken claw it, try to trace the line with a single digit. None of it is any good."
"Maybe the spider came away with the bit of web when you walked into it? It could be in your hair right now. Maybe it's laying eggs at this very moment. Maybe one day a distant civilisation will find your perfectly preserved head encased in centuries old gossamer web."
"There it is again. Behind your ear. You don't even raise your hand this time. It's all over. This is your life now."
– HumphreyGo-Kart
Bad tech can do your evil bidding.
STOP
"I hope that every traffic light turns red for them right as they reach it."
– Nintendevotion
No Snooze For The Wicked
"Waking up 30 mins before their alarm clock every morning."
– Ccaster0620
"I'm your worst enemy? This happens to me every day."
– Slight-Ad-1744
Bad Insertion
"Their USB cable is the right way around after 5 tries."
– furstimus
Inaccessible Tune
"Every time they get in their car, their favorite song is going off, they are always in a safe place but their cellphone service won’t work so they can’t play it in their car."
"And if they have the cd, the scratch is only on that song and skips to the very end."
– ParticularWatermelon
A little bit of pain is punishment enough.
Just a little.
Tiny Daggers
"Tiny Invisible splinter between two toes."
– AlgaeWafers
So Full Of It
"Anus inflammation so he can't sh*t and then finds out how full of sh*t he is."
– ddelGuy
Redditors here are definitely highly imaginative, and the forms of punishments were pure evil.
I, however, don't have it in me to come up with such creative tactics to get back at a nemesis.
But how awesome would it be if someone who truly irked me went to Panda Express, and every time they ordered their favorite, Orange Chicken, it's sold out?
Yeah, pretty awesome. Mwa-hahaha (twiddles fingers menacingly).
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People Fantasize About Which Food They'd Pick For Their Mortal Enemy To Eat For The Rest Of Their Life
There are probably some foods that you really like, and eat quite frequently.
But, if you had to eat nothing but that food for the rest of your life, would you still enjoy it?
Redditor CypherPunk77 asked:
"Your worst enemy can only eat one kind of food for the rest of their life. What do you choose for them?"
They'll Be A Little Too Regular
"Haribo Sugarfree Gummy Bears"
-hegotjoojooeyeball
"I used to read the hilarious Amazon reviews for these when I was feeling down. I can't seem to find the product page with all the reviews anymore. I can find individual reviews though, but they don't seem to link back to the main page anymore."
-edlee98765
"here you go"
-davelicious123
"Within 15 minutes of consuming these high powered laxatives, my stomach was making noises that I should have seen as a message from God warning me, 'You should turn back around and go home.'"
-thegreenbell
Spicy!
"Simple. The hottest pepper around, that way it sucks going in, and coming out."
-SnooMaps7101
"Ghost peppers. I'm glad I'm not your biggest enemy."
-MsNobody22
"Jeez man. That’s like 30 calories per pepper. You’d have to eat about 66 ghost peppers A DAY to survive based on a 2000 calorie intake"
-OldBookSmellz
Just Pure Evil
"Something they really love and watch them slowly being repulsed having consume it every day with no alternative..."
-Forsaken-Turn-2381
"I f**king would die because I did this with grilled cheese. I ate 2 a day every day for 6 weeks because all the other food at the psych ward sucked and now I can’t eat it anymore"
-takethelastexit
GiphySo Sour
"Sauerkraut. As for a drink sauerkraut juice."
-Ceramic_Avatar221
"You’re trying to give your worst enemy the worlds healthiest bowels? People do care!"
Only Slightly
"Everything, except it tastes slightly expired."
-Safer_Sephiroth_998
"The worst part about this is the fact that since it's only slightly expired, they may never realize that they have been cursed, leading to them becoming insane."
-Geoman265
Ouch
"Captain Crunch"
-twizzlers4bholes
"Their mouth will be in shreds. Eventually it will be too painful to eat any at all."
-nryporter25
So Expensive
"Caviar, they’ll go broke trying to eat"
-lokimycat
Choose Your Poison
"Whatever they want. They can live with the idea that it was them who chose what to eat the rest of their lives."
"There's no decision they won't regret eventually."
-FnCraig
"Woah! Calm down, Satan"
-Circus_bear_MrSmith
So Dry
"Popeyes biscuits, with nothing to drink."
-SlipSignificant3054
"My throat constricted just reading this."
-edlee98765
"I like to imagine that they would have the same consistency as biting into a ceiling tile"
-Steinbengal
So Stinky
"Surströmming."
-LittleSpice1
"Well they say it is an acquired taste, after all."
-SharpSteak21
No matter what you choose, they're likely to come to despise it in the end.
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In some of our favorite films, literature, and TV shows, we always cheered for the underdog.
We discovered some of the insufferable deviants Redditors wanted to come out on top when Redditor UnwantedJason asked:
"What villain deserved to win?"
Yo-Ho Yo-Ho, This Villain's It For Me
"Captain Barbossa. He was vilified for being a better pirate than anyone else, and he only wanted to escape eternal damnation and a hell on earth. I'd be pretty ruthless in that situation too."
"Yes, he mutinied Jack, but he's a pirate! And even then, he has much more class and honor than most of the other pirates."
Remember Captain Frye?
"I dunno, the villain from 'The Rock' just wanted to get veterans their disability and veteran wages."
These are villains from familiar folklore and fairytales.
Bested By The Boy Who Never Wanted To Grow Up
"The older I get the more I sympathize with Captain Hook."
"You either die a Peter Pan, or live long enough to see yourself become a Captain Hook."
Giant In The Sky
"The giant from Jack and the bean stalk even thou he's not the villain."
"Yeah jack just intruded on his home, then f*cking killed him when he tried to shoo him away. Like, what the hell man? What is this story trying to teach? Breaking and entering is ok?"
Creature Of The Deep
"Moby Dick."
"He's just trying to be a f'king whale and people keep trying to harpoon him."
Remember these "evil doers" from cartoons?
Cereal Trixter
"The Rabbit from the Trix commercials. My man literally spent his OWN MONEY to get this own Trix cereal, and then those damn kids stole his property, saying 'lol Trix are for kids!' F'k those kids."
Those Wretched Charm Kleptos
"And what about Lucky? Those bastard children kept stealing his Lucky Charms. Who's raising these monsters?"
– FG88_NR
Squidward
"Imagine having loud and annoying neighbors on both sides of you, making it difficult to get any peace and quiet in your own home. At the very least, you can have some solitude in your job at this restaurant that no one ever really visits anyway."
."..And then your neighbor applies for the job, passes with flying colors, and attracts loads of new customers, not only making your job busier and livelier than what you signed up for, but absolutely decimating that home/work balance you once had."
A Familiar Suggestion
"You either die a spongebob, or live long enough to see yourself become a squidward."
– Fenpunx
While I don't have a specific pick for a villain I want to win, I can appreciate people's preference for many antagonists they want to see winning.
I always thought traditional stories about heroes were one-sided. So when contemporary literature like Wicked—which later inspired the worldwide musical phenomenon, entered our pop culture—I thought it was refreshing.
My favorite take on a misunderstood villain was the Maleficent movies, featuring Angelina Jolie.
I thought Disney's interpretation of Sleeping Beauty from the nefarious fairy's perspective, who was the victim of a heart-wrenching betrayal of love, was pretty compelling.
More like this, please.
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