People Share The Absolute Craziest Names They've Ever Come Across
Reddit user Soy_nanami asked: 'What's the ugliest name you've ever come across?'
Naming a child with a unique name can be quite a challenge, but it is one that many people are willing to take on.
However, there are risks involved.
You don't want to come across as unoriginal, but you also don't want to burden the child with a lifetime of mockery and ridicule for a moniker that didn't seem silly at the time of the naming.
While some people succeed at this, others fail miserably and...well, poor child.
Curious to hear of epic name fail, Redditor Soy_nanami asked:
"What's the ugliest name you've ever come across?"
There's a theme going on here.
"My sister has classmates named Pigeon and Beans."
– Abug_sa_Yawa
"Wait, one was Pigeon and another was Beans, or one poor unfortunate soul was Pigeon And Beans?"
– rancidtuna
If The Names Fit
"my sister had classmates in the 5th grade that were Levi, Jean, Denim, and Blu. not so much ugly I guess. but their names together make a sentence. Blu Denim Levi Jeans."
– puppycatisselfish
"The twins. Fly and button."
– 111110001011
It's A Choice
"X Æ A-XII "It's pronounced 'Kyle' ... F'k off Musk"
– The_Evil_Owl
"No, it's 'Ash.'"
https://www.washingtonpost.com/technology/2020/05/08/musk-grimes-baby-name/
– rdickeyvii
"I thought it was pronounced Sasha but it's anyone's guess."
– Cali_4_nia
These don't roll off the tongue so easily.
Name Fit For A Villain
"My Great, Great Aunt DARTHULA. She hated the name so much she signed her marriage certificate as 'Thuley'. I had a helluva time tracking her down because of this 🤣"
– StevenGaryStout
"Darth ula was the dark Lord of the family, so powerful and so wise, she could even keep the ones she cared about, from Karens."
– ResistRacism
See Ya Later
"Adeusmano."
"I live in south America. This would be something like "Goodbyebro.'"
– Raigheb
Unfortunate Correlation
"Candida (as in Candida Doyle of Pulp). I'm sorry. What a name. Like the genital fungus?"
– samit2heck
"It's rather sad that these Latin-influenced names have these collocations now. It's a pretty cool name, and means 'white' or 'bright.'"
– curmudgeonpl
Getting into NSFW territory.
Oh Myyy
"A guy I know is called Nuttaporn. Nutty for short."
– pantheonofpolyphony
"Porn is very common in Thai names."
– grosselisse
"I've seen quite a few over years in a call centre but Kok Hung Lo was my all time favourite name."
– bigredmidget
Bordering On A Slur
"I served with a guy in the military whose surname is Fagg, you refer to everyone in the military by their surname. You can imagine how that went down."
– Weak-Tap-5831
"Oooh, the military. Last names were sometimes unfortunately hilarious. The two that come to mind immediately are Browneye ('Browneye aye!') and a girl whose last name was Guzzler or Guzzlar (in the Navy, the third enlisted rank’s title was “Seaman”, which everyone in my rate started out as)"
– Game_Changing_Pawn
They Got Around
"Slutt. Prounced slooth."
– Huge-Advantage7838
"How to make sure your kid gets bullied."
– heisl_
"You can’t fix stupid."
– hyperion420
"People will pronounce that however they please."
– SappySoulTaker
Her Dad Was The Worst
"Went to school back in the 90s and 2000s with a girl named Ashely Head. It came to light one day back in jr. High that her dad's name was Richard 'Dick' Head and their number was listed in the phone book. The prank calls came so fast."
– gil_beard
A Little Jarring
"A friend's mum was called Kunti. Maybe it's not ugly but you definitely get a shock when you hear it the first few times."
– Teefdreams
"Kunti is a common name in India. It’s not pronounced Cuhnty. The u is pronounced like the u in Uber."
– Ill-Inspector7980
It wasn't the ugliest name but a friend told me about a guy he knew whose name was Otis.
His surname was Payne.
While I personally think it's a cool name when read together, I'm sure he was subjected to lots of mockery.
So, if you read this Otis Payne, I feel for you for all the ribbing, or "Payne" you must've suffered through.
"Ohhh-dis Payne!"
Kids don't say the darndest things.
They say the craziest things.
I feel like some kids are dark psychics here to throw us off our game.
But I dislike children so I could be exaggerating.
Some of the phrases and prophecies I've heard children espousing have left my head spinning.
Where do they learn this stuff?
Redditor Eli_JMI wanted to hear about the things children have said aloud that left people SHOOKETH, so they asked:
"Parents of reddit, what is the creepiest thing your child has said to you?"
I once had a kid, stop me in the mall and just point at my head and go... "BOOM! HEAD!"
Creep.
Over Him
Big Brother Reaction GIF by Big Brother After DarkGiphy"My then 2 year old accidentally locked himself in a room and was crying hysterically while I tried in vain to coach him through unlocking the door. My then 5-year-old pulled me aside and said, in perfect seriousness, 'Forget about him, Mom. He's dead to us.' I'm a little worried about that kid."
Plus_Cardiologist497
In the Fire
"Not my child but my grandchild. She was about 3 years old when her parents were expecting another baby. She kept talking about how she was so happy she'll have her sister back once the baby was born. The sister that 'died in a fire before.' At the time she only had an older brother and had never had a sister, let alone one that passed away in a fire."
MaggieMews
Before
"My youngest daughter has always had a fear of the water that’s gotten better as she’s gotten older. But when she was a toddler, it would have been easier to baptize a rabid cat than try to get give her a bath. One night at around age 3, I was doing my routine of trying to get her in the tub to wash off when she said to me 'I scared of the water. It’s how I died before.' Yeah, the bath definitely didn’t happen that night."
bluegrassmommy
Wild
"My grandma used to tell this story all of the time! Apparently when I was a young kid, I saw a big blue lifted truck and began talking about how I used to drive one like that, and I had gotten into a car crash and died at a young age and talked about missing my life. Kids either have wild imaginations, or they remember some stuff from an alternate timeline."
NewToReddit4331
Bye Daddy
Excuse Me No GIF by Late Night with Seth MeyersGiphy"As I was leaving for work, my daughter said 'bye daddy, have a good day. I hope you don't get shot' and then went back to playing with her toys."
BarkingBagel
Kids know jobs are dangerous.
Think
Okaay What GIF by ABC NetworkGiphy"Woke one morning before my alarm went off to my three year old son standing next to my bed. He then says, 'Go back to sleep and think about your life.'"
KJDub6
Dreams
"My son used to say when he was younger that he used to fly around at night. Jumping from lamppost to lamppost in the neighborhood. That it was hard to get there because of the connection to his body through the belly button."
"I would have considered imagination if it weren’t that my dad told me he had the same type of dream when he was little as did I."
felixkatz
The Watcher
"Not my kids but I used to work with toddlers."
"We had one girl who got so upset at changing time. She would cry and say 'No, the man is watching!' When she was on the changing table. She would point to the ceiling tiles (sometimes the wind from the garden door knocked one out of place) and say he was watching."
"Freaked all of us staff out, we all looked but there was definitely no one there. We had to change her on a mat on the floor inside of a stall because she was so upset. We did that for the rest of the year."
"The next years class starts... A little boy (these kids did not know each other at all!) starts crying on the changing table. 'No! The man is watching!' Pointing at the ceiling tiles again. Same situation for the rest of the year. Had to change him in a stall on the floor."
"There was never anyone in the ceiling but it freaked us all out constantly!"
moonchild_86
Oh Timmy
"We were living overseas and the area we lived in had been an old Chinese fishing village. Locals were superstitious about the area because the village had been removed to replace with modern housing and it was supposed to have made the spirits angry. My 5 year old son had an imaginary friend named Timmy but he didn't actually like Timmy. He complained about him so much it got creepy."
"For instance, Timmy didn't like certain people... Timmy told him to misbehave... anything that was misplaced was lost because Timmy took it, etc. I joked that at least we knew Timmy wasn't a ghost because a Chinese kid would not be named Timmy. One day my son drew a picture of Timmy to show me. He labeled it 'Tai Mei.'"
NinaNina1234
Stick with Chicken
Wait What Sudden Realization GIF by Nick JonasGiphy"Went to check on my five year old daughter who was asleep. She rolled on her back, still asleep, and said, 'I must not eat humans, humans aren't food.' Before rolling back over."
tiredandstupid82
Kids are crazy. Thank the Lord I don't have any of my own to terrorize me like this.
Do you have any crazy kid-related stories? Let us know in the comments below.
When we witness bad behavior from a person regardless of their age, some of us tend to blame it on poor parenting.
Whether it's a spoiled child causing a scene in public in response to not getting what they want or a grown adult acting out in a way that is cringeworthy, the indication of them lacking any sort of discipline in their lives can be obvious.
Curious to hear examples of this, Redditor sovereinete asked:
"What’s a sign that somebody wasn’t raised right?"
Not everyone can interact with others like mature adults.
Shifting Blame
"lack of personal accountability. they can never admit wrongdoing on their part. it's always someone else's fault."
– DFloydd
Learned Behavior
"Yes totally. And it’s often because immature parents don’t realize they should model this behavior by apologizing to their children when they (parent) do something wrong. When you don’t respect your kids they can become disrespectful d*cks."
– anon
With Intent
"Someone that does things to intentionally hurt another persons feelings after they’ve expressed that, that certain thing hurts their feelings."
– JadeM05
Perceiving Employees
"Disrespecting people for doing their job."
– indinicove
Some people are g.r.o.s.s.
The Thanks They Get
"You give them a lift and they leave rubbish in your car."
– kitjen
Chewed Gum Belongs Elsewhere
"Who are the guys who spit out their chewing gum into urinals? I see this all the time at work and I work in a high end corporate place. Do they think it disolves and goes down the pipe? The janitor has to pick that out."
– NealR2000
ExcreMental
"I had a guy sh*t on the floor in the bathroom at my work then apologize because I was working the shift not my coworker he hated. People are f'king weird dude."
It's The Right Thing To Do
"The concept of not flushing in a public place is crazy to me. Like... what happened in that person's life for them to feel that's appropriate?!"
– TheRealRoguePotato
Art Of Discipline
"How they act as a boss when their employee messes up."
"Yelling and belittling shouldn’t be your first option."
– EpicBlinkstrike187
Semantics
"This is how you be a leader, not a boss. A leader lends a helping hand and treats you like an equal, a boss treats you like a replaceable piece of meat."
– VividOperation48
A Good Example
"This was what made me respect the absolute hell out of my manager. I made a mistake on a job a while back, like a big f'kup that cost us a large sum of money. I was fully expecting to get chewed out and a 'You f'k up again, you're out the door,' because that's how previous managers had treated us (it's no wonder we had a horrific management and employee turnover rate for years)."
"But no, he came over to the car I was working on, looked at what happened, figured out how the mistake was made, and we talked about it for a couple minutes. I was pretty upset about it because I'm usually not the type of tech who is negligent and makes mistakes, so when I do, it profoundly bothers me. He saw that. He listened to what I said, and he went through the process of getting replacement parts ordered for what I messed up."
"The next morning he came to me again and said 'You know, I was thinking about you last night after I got home and thinking of what you could do to prevent this mistake from happening again in the future,' gave me a few suggestions for the future, and closed the conversation with a pat on the shoulder and a 'we won't need to have this conversation again, brother. I trust you.'"
"It was the most meaningful conversation I have ever had with a manager. I got the sense that he really wants to see his employees succeed and grow. It gave me confidence in a moment in which I had none left."
– AidynValo
Can we blame parents entirely for their children's disrespectful behavior?
I know of some exceptional parents who do the best they could without coddling or becoming too controlling, and yet, their kids remain out of control.
It's a delicate balance, disciplining a child without it being perceived publicly as abuse and consequently getting child protective services involved.
I've gotten the belt, slapped, and grounded frequently for being rotten. Those forms of punishment, I feel, might not fly as well today than they did back then.
I'd like to think I turned out all right, but it's difficult to say if it was because of such strict parenting.
But it can't be denied that, in spite of it all, there's only so much parents can do when they're raising an inherently bad seed.
You know they exist.
Right, Damien?
Parents love to brag about their kids, and who could blame them?
If their pride and joy wins a school art contest or places first at a sporting event, any accolade warrants boasting rights.
But what if kids are so extremely proud of their own accomplishments, big or small, and want to go around and exaggerate their victories, who are we to hold them back?
Curious to hear from parents who witnessed questionable moments exhibited by their very confident children, Redditor donut_pickle asked:
"Parents of Reddit, what is the best 'weird flex but ok' moment you've seen from your child?"
Where kids and potty are concerned, it's a winning combo that makes for lively conversations.
Potty Pride
"When my kids was potty training, he was in a phase where he loved temporary tattoos. We used tattoos as a reward for a successful potty trip. He got so he was covered on both arms, back and chest. We didn't think much of it, living in Seattle, until one summer day we took him to the wading pool. For one of the first times in public, we took his shirt off, and he strode out into the pool with his toddler abs, and Thomas the tank train shorts, looking like he had just finished a hard set of reps at the free weights in the prison yard."
– THSSFC
Potty Like Daddy
"When my son was about two and a half, we thought it would be a good idea to start potty training him. We sat him down, talked to him explaining to him when he pees/poops in the potty he can a reward. He was less than thrilled. It was pretty clear he was not interested."
"We start the process of putting him on the potty, every morning, at regular intervals, etc. After 2 days, he hasn't done anything on the potty, with the added bonus of not having ANY bowel movements, at all (and this kid was REGULAR). After 4 days we begin to panic, prune juice, oatmeal, apple juice, anything to get him to poop."
"At day 5, we are at the Dr.s, who tells us to use suppositories. You guys we gave him suppositories for 3 nights, still nothing! Day 10 rolls around and we're thinking it's time for the hospital,he's got a blockage, he's sick, something is seriously wrong here! Take him to the Dr, one last time before the hospital."
"This time we see a different Dr, who looks at us and asks if we are potty training him, we shake our heads yes, wondering why it matters, since he hasn't even pooped for 10 DAYS! He barely needs a diaper, let alone a potty. He kind of smiles and says, 'well, stop.'"
"He told us that he thought that the potty training was causing him to hold his bowel movements. And that when he was ready to be potty trained, he would let us know. Sceptical, but willing to give it a shot, instead of the hospital we went back home. We made a big show of putting the potty chair up, and told him that if he pooped, he could have any toy in Target (we were desperate!) and no more potty training....... ---20 minutes later he took the biggest sh*t of his little life, and we took our weary, but, relieved a**es to Target to buy him his dream toy. ---A Hotwheels Carwash. Best $29.99 we ever spent. ---3 months later he wakes up, says 'I want to go potty like Daddy' and has been potty trained ever since."
– Sweetjaybird
Backyard Potty
"My daughter (3) can poop in the back yard without anyone knowing. I picked it up for weeks wondering why the dog's poop looked so weird. I looked out of the sliding glass door one day while my girls were playing. I saw my 3 year old pooping in the middle of the yard. Her older sister (5) sprayed her with the water house as soon as the log hit the ground. It was a spectacular scene, and I will never let them forget it."
– ONCETWICENEVER
Kids exerting their superiority like this is adorable.
Fist-Bump Hesitancy
"While leaving a family gathering, my cousin asked my little boy for a fist bump. My child refused, cousin said 'come on, why no fist bump?' My kid, 5 at the time, looks him straight in the eye and says 'I don't want to break every bone in your arm'."
– dark__star
Like A True Champ
"My 7 y/o daughter didn’t want our houseguests to go in her room because that might see her awards (good grades, tae kwon doe belts). She worried they would think she was famous."
– Gatorphan
Dinner On The Floor
"When my son was about 6, he was in the back seat with a friend, and he boasted that he had once thrown up his entire Chinese dinner on his bedroom carpet and you could see the food and everything."
– ThaneOfCawdorrr
Power Play
"My oldest told me she used to control me from the inside when she was in my tummy."
– NobodyBallad
Confidence at a young age is a good thing...to an extent.
Member Confirmation
"When my brother was two or three he rolled down the car window to get the attention of the gas station attendant and shouted 'hey mister, I got a penis!' He had a mullet, if that helps paint a better picture."
– PrincessOtterpop
Voice Of Reason
"My 5 year-old son woke up with his voice hoarse from a cold."
"Me: oh, you’ve got a cold."
"Him, solemnly: no, I think i’m a man now."
– sparksparksparkle
Lollipop
"My 8-year-old son's doctor was trying to make him comfortable during an EKG by telling him he had to leave his ear with the doctor. They went back and forth for a while and finally the doctor said he would trade him the ear for a lollipop. My son said he would not give up his ear but wanted the lollipop. The doctor said, "What! That is not a fair trade. What will you give me for the lollipop?" My son answered dead serious, "I get the lollipop and you get my respect."
Amber Alert
"Had an Amber Alert hit my phone one night while my then 6yo was playing a game on it. She asks what that was and I explained it was a message that gets sent out of a kid getting kidnapped. She looks at it again and sees it’s for a town over two hours from where we live. She then asks me why they sent to if it’s so far away. I said because they want everyone to look and find the kid, wouldn’t you want everyone to look if you got kidnapped? They want to find the kid so they don’t get killed. She leans over close to my ear and whispers “I’m very difficult to kill”
sweetxexile
"I had to mute the Amber Alerts on my phone. My son saw one when he was five years old, and asked me about it, so I explained it. Every hour or two, for almost a week afterward, he'd ask me, "Did they find the kid yet? Mom, were you even looking at license plates when you were driving? You have to pay attention in case you see her!"
"When her body was found, my poor kid was devastated."
"He still writes down the license number whenever he sees an Amber Alert on one of those LED road signs, and sets it on the dash where I can see it."
Insertcaffeine
Trash Day
"Not my kid - but a friend of mine was trying to teach his daughter to pick up her toys when she was younger. When she didn't do it one time, he told her he was going to throw away everything that was still on the floor. She picked them up and put them in the trash can for him."
xJeffmanx
"My son did something similar. When he was being punished my wife took everything (every toy) out of his room with him screaming and protesting the entire while."
"When she was done he had the fucking temerity to say “you forgot my books.”
"I thought my wife was going to stroke out."
"My son was four and couldn’t read by himself. As they get older taking books away is a more serious punishment (as it was for me as a child). But at this point, and especially since he was going to bed anyway, he was just being a di*k."
angryundead
At seven years old, I bragged about my dancing ability at a Christmas party, even though I've never taken a dance class or busted a move that resembled any sort of technique.
I don't know where the impulse to demonstrate my moves came from, but there I was–up on a stage of the venue where the party was held–and boogey-ing the night away without a care in the world.
I remember seeing my gobsmacked parents, nervously clapping and wondering what was wrong with me.
We didn't find out until later, but the punch bowl I kept getting refills from was, you guessed it, spiked...with what must've been gallons of rum.
That magic juice fueled my dancing shoes, non-stop, for about an hour, I was told.
I remain grateful this was years before the advent of social media and blackmail footage available for all to see. I'm more grateful my liver didn't shrivel up and did me in that night.
When it comes to naming children, there are all kinds of different approaches.
Some parents like to honor the legacy of a late relative, while there are those who prefer naming their baby after a revered fictional character–"Luke" (Skywalker) being one of them.
But let's be honest. Baby naming can get way out of hand, and it's the child who becomes a victim by having to live with a name they might get teased for...like "Blanket."
Curious to hear examples of what some of those might be, Redditor Sarah_Trekkie asked:
"What are some of the craziest baby names you’ve personally been witness to?"
Pity these children with these unfortunate names.
The Three Hs
"Well they weren't babies, but at the summer camp where I worked this summer. 3 brothers: Honor, Heritage, and believe it or not, Henceforth. I felt a little bad for those kids."
– fabook
It's Satisfying
"The manager at a shop near me is named Goodenough."
– Pagan-za
In Case You Missed It A Second Time
"Coworker grew up with a girl named Kelly Kelly Kelly."
– Jimbo---
Metal Head
"Jam Metallica for a baby girl."
– wordofmouthrevisited
S'No Joke
"Sno White, 9th grade classmate."
– cmac1425
Drugs and babies just shouldn't mix.
Pharma Baby
"I work in child welfare and it’s actually more common than you would think for someone to name their child after a drug or strand of drug they were using at the time. So with that information, MF Pitbull and Knucklehead were the two that I saw that were pretty bad. Another sad fact is when a child is immediately removed from a family (they have already been proven not to be fit parents) they’ll give them the name Baby Boy/Girl or Infant until they’re adopted."
"Edit: at the time = time of conception"
"Edit edit: 'they' as in the nursing staff, the birth parents often aren’t coherent enough or don’t care to give a name."
– spacecowboy203
Out With The Old In With The New
"I summer nannied for two kids, siblings who had been adopted by a wonderful woman who immediately changed their given names, which were Crystal and Rocky."
"Edited to add that both babies were born addicted to meth. Forgot that little nugget."
– checkitbec
It's A Choice
"Went to school with a guy named cedar and his last name was post. I always wonder what his parents were thinking."
– jellyschoomarm
It gets worse.
Going By A Gender
"Boy. True story."
– _mybloodyvalentine
What A Pair
"Noodles and papoose."
"I heard these 2 magical names uttered in a single sentence by a woman. 'Noodles! Put papoose down!'"
– MrScribz
Fantasy Household
"Thunderbird, Winter Star, Rainbow, Baby Girl."
"Culturally not that weird, but day to day life outside of the Rez, strong names to live with."
– ghastlyglittering
How Super
"I met a young man named Jor-El."
"Yes, as in Jor-El, father of Kal-El who became Superman on Earth."
– CowboySpencer
Copy That?
"Xerox."
– hand-pic-appreciator
"Were they a clone?"
– jonsconspiracy
"Nah, just a carbon copy."
– iamevilcupcake
The Pressure Is On
"I was at the park with my nephew last week and a woman started calling for her son to get off the swings. His name was Messiah. That seems like a lot to live up to!"
– BatmansKhaleesi
Getting Royal
"King and his brother Prince."
– Shynerbock12
Raising Alarm
"My friend's sister, named her twins Danger and Fury."
– domestic_omnom
Naming Or Labeling
"These girls at my Korean church were named one and two in Korean. It wasn’t that bad since they went to school here but any time a Korean person heard it it was like wtf."
– Kimchiandfries
I would have to say one of the craziest names I've heard of was Otis Payne.
The names individually are actually pretty cool, but when you slap them together and say the full name, well, I can only imagine the amount of jokes this person had to endure.
He probably lost track of the number of times they saw someone doubling over in fake distress–clenching at a problematic part of their body–and saying his full name in jest.
We get it, we get it, "Oh this pain!"
Poor guy...