Curious to hear of circumstances where things started to unravel, Redditor PigPopcorn asked:
"What is one of the dumbest things you've done when your brain was on 'auto-pilot'?"
The things we default to saying to others don''t necessarily apply to every situation.
Customer Got Cornered
"I work at a busy restaurant so I end up saying 'corner' hundreds of times a night as I go back and forth around corners and doorways in the kitchen. Was running food to a table, set it down gently, and in my sweetest customer service voice I said 'Corner' while looking the customer right in the eye instead of 'here is your soup' or something like I usually do. They looked confused, my brain tried to reset, and so naturally I said 'Thank you' as if that made it better. I ended up just backing away, it was a lost cause."
– cherry650
Confused At The Walk-Thru
"I was working fast food and taking orders both inside and for the drive thru. I took someone's order inside at the counter and told them to pull forward to the 2nd window."
– w4nd3ringwolf
Invalid Validation
"I told my friend 'you’re welcome!' after he sneezed and excused himself the other day."
– Jessicahisamused
See what I mean about not thinking? These Redditors learned the hard way not to ever lose focus when attempting simple tasks.
Coffee Crisis
"Let a coffee machine run without a jug under it. Went to take a shower and had to clean up the mess afterwards."
– jangxx
Extra Protection
"Lifted my Welding mask up and forgot it was on my head, then went to get a new mask."
– Verdunnny
Learning Curve
"Flipped my kindle over to read the other side of a document."
– Dedj_McDedjson
Hilarious mix-ups are common among those who space out.
Sweetening The Garbage
"Tore open a sugar packet, poured it directly into the trash, tossed the empty paper packet into my coffee."
– kygroar
Yolks On Me
"I was trying to make some scrambled eggs."
"Basic prep: crack the eggs, put the eggs in a bowl, toss the shell."
"My dumba**: crack the egg, put egg in the trash."
"I literally stood above the trash can with the shell in my hands processing what had just happened for about 30 seconds. I just had the faint feeling of 'I f'ked up' and was wondering exactly how for way too long."
– nWo1997
No Coffee For Her
"Not me but one time my gf got handed her drink at Starbucks, said thanks, went over to the bar to get cream or something and immediately dropped her fresh drink straight into the trash can at the bar. Her mother and I just looked at her and started laughing. The barista saw what happened and with a 'it happens' attitude agreed to replace the drink. It also helped that no one was in there except us haha."
"We still bring it up every now and then and all laugh, my gf included."
– KommieKon
Clean Or Cold?
"I put my dirty plate in the freezer instead of the dishwasher."
– mcSibiss
Kitchen Tool Switcheroo
"I was a kitchen employee at Arbys when I was 18. We used to have sub rolls that were footlong, but the only subs we sold were 6 inch. So you had to cut each roll in half before you used it. I was just zoned out one day, and I ended up cutting the sub roll in half, putting the knife back in the sub roll bag, and then trying to use the sub roll to cut the next sandwich. My manager saw it and f'king died."
– boyvsfood2
Never talk to me while I'm tying my shoe laces.
One time I put my shoes on while standing and propped the shoe I was going to tie up on a chair with my foot on it.
The guy I was with asked me a question during my preparation. After answering, I bent all the way down to tie the shoe on my standing leg instead of the one on the chair.
I guess I was more focused on getting out of his apartment after an unsatisfactory night.
Shame on me.
Redditor Hold-My-Friend wanted everyone to discuss the things they've done and can only blame the brain freeze by asking:
"What's the dumbest thing your brain has done on autopilot?"
Thrifty....
"I work at a thrift store. One of my jobs is pricing donations and taking them out to the sales floor. While pricing, I also act as a final quality control, and I'm free to throw out anything I don't think I'd in sellable condition. We have rags and a bottle of all-purpose cleaner for when we're pricing and such as well."
"One day, I was doing the dishes at home. I was washing a bunch of silverware, and got to this one knife that had a spot or something really suck onto it. I scrubbed at it for a good minute or so before saying forget it, I've wasted enough time on this, and then I tossed off to my left, where my garbage can usually is at work. And then I remembered I wasn't at work, I can't just throw stuff away because it's too much trouble to clean." ~ MasteringTheFlames
GiphyBrush Away....
"I was brushing my teeth and went to throw something away but ended up spitting all over the floor instead." ~ PM_ME_YOUR_HUGETITS
Clean me.
"Wanted to take a quick whiz before leaving the house. Next thing I know I'm showering. Again." 7788445511220011
Giphy"Where is she?"
"My wife and I used to alternate who picked up our daughter from school every week depending on who was on the early shift. Got home and my wife was already home. Our daughter used to play a game every afternoon after school where she would hide and whoever came home second would come in and loudly say "Where is she?"
"And the other one would reply with "She's not here."
"My wife or I would then have to go an look for her and find her. So I get home after my wife and walk in and say "Where is she?"
"My wife replies with "She's not here."
I" then start looking for her and my wife says "No, she's really not here, you were supposed to get her today because I had an appointment after work and didn't pick her up. You were meant to get her."
"I'd driven home and forgotten to pick up my daughter from school. Lucky we lived close to the school so it wasn't a massive issue." ~ BarrySpug
H20 Issues....
"I had a glass of water and a book, and I was walking into my room. I threw the water onto my bed. Why." AvengersFangirl99
GiphyHearing....
"I'm currently taking ASL. I am hearing everyone in my family is hearing. I don't sign outside of class. This morning I signed don't at my alarm clock. Edit- my first gold thank you!" ~ _-ember-_
Juice Me.
"I've poured juice into my cereal bowl too many times." ~ Dy1ooon
"I can do you one better: I once flooded my drinking glass with French salad dressing in my failed attempt at covering my salad. I then began to ate my salad and wondered why it was so bland." ~ beanbbeanie
Through the Glasses...
"I've looked for my glasses several times whilst wearing them." ~ Moishe_the_Beatle
"I was talking to my aunt on phone the other day and she was complaining that she couldn't get logged into Facebook. I told her I would give her a couple of suggestions to try and fix it. She said that she would do that later because she cant find her phone. I paused and then asked her "isn't your phone in your hand?" She died laughing but I was thinking WTF?" ~ BaconReceptacle
Brush & Spit...
"Too many times I have taken the electric toothbrush out of my mouth before turning it off. Just toothpaste and spit spraying all over my clothes, the mirror, and the sink. I brush my teeth twice a day; you'd think I'd have it down pat by now." ~ Reddit
It was Saturday. :/
"Got up in the morning, showered, shaved, dressed and headed off to work, picking up a newspaper while walking to the subway. Read the paper on the train, pleasantly surprised that I actually got a seat for the 45-minute trip! Got off at my stop and was mystified by the sparse rush-hour crowds on the sidewalk. Looked carefully at the paper I'd just finished reading. It was Saturday. :/ "
~ OriginallyFromNYC
My Day....
"I drove nearly 2 hours to my dad's house instead of meeting them two hours in the other direction for a family wedding. I suddenly clicked out of my stupor about 10 or 15 minutes from my dad's house, realize I was an idiot, I drove the rest of the way to his house to hang out by myself. All in all, it worked out a little better for me. The family has a hilarious story, and I got a day to myself." ~ Bangbangsmashsmash
I looked RIGHT AT MY WALLET!!!
"My previous smartphone could be woken up by tapping on the screen twice. I once had my phone and wallet next to each other on my desk while I was on the computer. I went to check if I had any notifications - I looked RIGHT AT MY WALLET and tapped on it twice. Waited a second for the screen to turn on. Hung my head in shame for about 10 seconds after that." ~ Narangeee
These Actors Were Perfectly Cast In Their Roles | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
Sometimes an actor comes along that is able to reach the audience on a deeper level. The actor that immediately comes to mind is Robin Williams. Although it ...Cracked....
"I used to work as a short order cook in a deli. I would crack up to 20-30 eggs on the flattop are a time. I would be cracking eggs at some points and crack the egg split it open over the garbage can and throw the shell on the flattop." ~ vcwrestler02
Welded Shut.
"Was welding up a part in my shop and had a 2' bead to weld on one side. Flipped the part around on the table and started welding in the zoned out way a person does at the end of the day. Welded the part to my welding bench. Flipped my hood up and look at it and was completely baffled at my stupidity." ~ littleredhoodlum
Bussed Back...
"When I got a car from the first time. Next day I drove to the grocery store. Did my shopping took bus back home. Woke up in the morning - car is missing. Remembered that I left it at the store." ~ LeftChoux
Milked....
"Grabbed the milk from the fridge, opened the cabinet to grab a glass, put the milk in the cabinet. I got distracted for a second and forgot where I put it. I spent the next 20 minutes looking for the milk, all while my family was convinced I was playing some dumb prank on them by hiding the milk." ~ JustEatSomeYams
The Burger Rock.
"Had a microwave burger, that goes in for 3 minutes. I put it on for 30 minutes, and proceeded to do other stuff, whilst checking to see if the microwave was finished. I remember thinking it was taking a long time, but still I checked and waited for the 'three' minutes to end. That burger was rock hard and devoid of any moisture. I had a sandwich instead, but it makes me smile to this day for some reason." ~ colony_gamer
Thanks....
"I thanked myself for opening the door for myself, as if someone else had opened the door for me." ~ rosalielie
Drive On
"My husband bought a new car but then had to go away for a couple weeks before it was ready. We were going to pick it up a few days after he returned, but I got the call saying it was ready a few days before he was due back. I decided I'd surprise him by getting it so it'd be there when he came home. I made the arrangements and drove the 4 hours to the dealership. Alone. Got there and realized I couldn't drive both my car and his new car home." ~ ItsAngelaAnaconda
Trash Day
"I was on a call with someone while taking out to trash before heading to school. Reaching the dumpster, I take off my bag, threw it inside and then began walking to school with the trash bag, instead. It was only when I wanted to grab my headphones from my bag that I realized what I just did." ~ ItsAmberisk
How was school today?'
"Wake up to drive to school in the middle of break." ~ LPineapplePizzaLover
"When I was a kid, I walked to school on a Saturday, wasn't until I got to school that I realised. My mom was apparently laughing so hard after she realised why i left so early in the morning, she was waiting by the door when i got home. I specifically remember her asking 'How was school today?' and me storming back to my room like it was her fault that i was a dumba**." ~ KH3HasNoHeart
Baker
"Discovered myself walking into our 2nd-story bedroom with a box of confectioner's sugar tucked under my arm. Kitchen is downstairs. I wasn't baking anything." ~ birdtripping
Angry Mess GIF by The Drew Barrymore ShowGiphyBrushed Away...
"Was about to brush my teeth when I stared at my toothbrush for a good 3 seconds before realizing I put handsoap on it." ~ thecloudsaretalking
"I've done something similar. Our kitchen has a handwash and dishsoap dispenser next to each other, the rest of the story you can imagine." ~ dustyhusky69
6th Gear
"So about once a month or so I'll be getting up to speed on my way home and have to stop myself while reaching for the gear lever to shift into 6th gear. My car doesn't have a 6 speed. Hell, I've never driven a car with a 6 speed. I have no idea why I do this." ~ SteevyT
Eye Contact
"I once really scratched up my eye because I couldn't get my contact lens out no matter how hard I tried. It took me about 10 minutes of this to realise it was morning. In the morning you put the lenses IN. You cannot take them out in the morning because you are not wearing them yet." ~ MerylSquirrel
between classes...
"Walked into a bathroom between classes at high school while an intense conversation was going on. We all started using the urinals, while still engrossed in the discussion so I did not notice that I was standing at a sink, not a urinal. And I was peeing. I cleaned the sink really well afterwards, at least." ~ scruit
Hey Tom
"We were in debate class thinking of some topics for hot spot. I wrote down 'Tom Holland is the best Spiderman' and told other people. they disagreed so i tried to say 'Tom Holland is the best Peter Parker.' As a compromise, and iIaccidentally said 'Tom Holland is the best Tom Holland." ~ Coldcolor900
Oh My God Spiderman GIF by Nerdist.comGiphyMorning Needs
"Put the sugar back in the fridge and the milk in a drawer for my morning coffee. I also walked against a street lamp full speed while watching on my phone. It even made a gong sound when hitting it. There were also a bunch of people waiting on the other side of the street. Well, I don't mind, could be worse." ~ FreeFlowFlyer16
The brain is a funny thing.
Do you have similar experiences to share? Let us know below.
Oh, you thought you were the only one? Nope. Not even close.
Reddit user MaterialImportance asked:
Normally smart people of reddit, what is the dumbest thing you've ever done?
The sheer number of people who have autopiloted their way into stupidity is just ... breathtaking, honestly. So kick back, relax, and enjoy the stories of other people going down in a blaze of idiotic glory. You know you've done it, too. Solidarity, brethren.
E or F
Okay so several years ago I worked in a craft store. When we were going through the aisles cleaning up, we were supposed to grab any damaged items and put them in a specific bin. At the end of the night, the manager would kind of quickly go through it just to make sure everything in there was in fact damaged.
So the one night she's digging through it and pulls out a wooden E. "Who put this in here?" She asked. I said I did. She asked why. I told her, "It's supposed to be an E but it's missing one of the prongs."
My manager stared at me for a few moments before informing that it was, in fact, an F.
The Break
Took a quick break at work and went to get a drink.
Stupid brain went on autopilot and I drove home (not that far), walked in, took off work shirt, plopped on couch, turned on TV, wondered where my girlfriend was cause she's usually home when I get off work, looked up at clock, realized I had 3 hours left on shift.
Cursed a bunch, got up, put shirt back on, grabbed soda, and went back to work.
On A Hunt
Once searched high and low all over the house for like 25 minutes for a certain pair of shorts that I just could not find. I had them on.
- thwinks
A Cup Of Water
GiphyI put a cup of water in the microwave, but the cup was too tall so I poured some water out and tried to put the cup back in thinking that would make it fit.
Magnets, How Do They Work?
In my 20's I briefly convinced myself that all rocks became magnetic under water, because when I dropped them under the surface, they would fall onto the bigger rock floor, as if they were being pulled magnetically. Took me a good 3 hours to remember gravity existed. Not my proudest moment.
Wine
I was once eating delicious table grapes and asked my wife and her friends: "Why haven't they made booze out of these?"
I forgot wine existed. I thought I had invented wine. We drink A LOT of wine. They were kind of shocked and still tease me about it.
Oops Antiques
Wandered into the bathroom of an very old antiques store and take a dump. Once I finished I realized I was in a storage closet with antique bathroom fixtures - none of which were hooked up to actual plumbing.
How To Work A Cup
I was at the zoo buying a fountain pop from the cafe when the staff didn't give me a straw. I asked for one and he said that they do not give out straws due to the free roaming animals on the zoo ground.
I asked, "How am I supposed to drink this?"
Without breaking eye contact, he took the drink and removed the plastic lid.
Thank You
A random girl asked me to take her photo at the park so I agreed and replied with a chill 'sure'. After taking the photo, she thanked me and apologized for being bothersome. My dumb self replied to her 'thank you' with a
"No, Thank you"
Instead of a 'You're welcome'
At that moment I realized I sounded like a total perv and was like ... did I really just say thanks for taking HER picture??? Please excuse me as I go jump off a cliff...
I hate being socially awkward.
- aleshuu
Cinco De Mayo
A bunch of co-workers were talking about getting together for Cinco de mayo. They asked me if I wanted to join. I said, "Sure, when is it?"
That's the day I learned Cinco de mayo meant May 5th.
Log Pile
I was like ten when this happened. I was with my friends looking for a nice place to go on adventures and shit.
We found a stack of lumber that attracted our attention. Old guy, who owns the lumber tells us not to climb up there, or if we do, just be careful.
We climb on it anyways. I find a way INSIDE just to get stuck between two huge logs.
We had to alarm the fire department and they had to cut me out of there.
At that point literally the entire town was across the road watching me.
In Your Hand
GiphyOnce I wanted to play on my DS (few years back) and I spent 10 minutes walking around the house asking my mom where my ds was.
It was in my hand the whole time.
Spent almost an hour searching my house for my phone....while on the phone with my Mom. She heard me getting frustrated and throwing things around and asked "What's wrong?"And I replied, real pissed off, "I can't find my phone anywhere. I have been looking for it the whole time I have been talking to you....oh."
I decided to end working on homework, and arose from my desk searching for my phone. I probably wanted to relax and lurk or do something else of the sort.
It was dark in my room, so I couldn't see anything.
I then thought, "Hey, let me grab my phone here and use the flashlight to try and find my phone!" ...
I grabbed my phone, turned on the flashlight (as well as the light in the room), and spent a good five minutes looking for my phone with my phone.
I finally decided to look at my hand, and was disappointed in myself for the rest of the day.
I was on the phone with my boss he was asking me if I was at work yet I said no I wasn't. He asked me why not. I said I couldn't find my phone. He said "Do me a favor look at your hand." I told him I was looking for my phone.
He sighs and goes "Shut the hell up and look at your hand."
So I look at my hand and tell him it's empty. He goes "No you dumb sh*t look at your other hand."
So I then looked at my hand that was holding my phone. After a long pause I just said "I found my phone."
He told me to get to work.
Teaching Preschool Is Exhausting
Preschool teacher here! My coworker lost her Northface jacket at work, and had to leave during nap time. She, I, and a third teacher all spent about 20 minutes searching for this jacket while tip-toeing around our combined classes of sleeping 3 year olds.... just for her to realize that she was wearing it the entire time.
Physique
I was once on a job interview for a large car manufacturer for working the assembling line. When I was asked "What's your biggest flaw?" I told the recruiter "My physique."
Needless to say, I didn't get a callback.
- cellaz
Foil v. The PhD
Just last week I wanted to reheat some leftovers in the microwave. I put them in and pushed "start"... with the aluminum foil still on.
Some frightening sparks got off before/while my dumbass realized what I'd done and hit "cancel."
...I have a PhD.
Phonetic Phanatic
I grew up outside of Philadelphia and went to college in Louisiana. On the first paper I wrote for my Civil War and Reconstruction class I kept writing how the generals were PHANATICS - because I actually thought that was how it was spelled. Until I was 19.
When I showed up a few weeks later in a Sixer's jersey the professor stopped the class in the middle of a lecture and said, "Oh my god, you're from Philly. Oh my god. Is that really how you think fanatic is spelled?"
And I said "How else would you spell it?"
To which he responded "The right way???"
It was traumatic.
Inventing Tennis
GiphyMy friend and I were in gym class playing ping pong. After a while we got to talking about how there should be a bigger, court-sized version of ping pong with larger paddles, a larger ball, a larger net and maybe 2-3 people on each side. Fully content and proud that we had invented a new game, we continued playing.
5 minutes later, my friend started dying laughing and, once she was able to stop laughing, pointed out that we had just invented tennis.
Never Assume Pregnancy
I'm a bicycle tour guide, this happened in front of the entire group of 16 people, quarter way into an eight hour tour.
To everyone, loudly: "OK the next toilet break will be one hour from now!"
To small heavily pregnant Asian-American lady: "Except for you, there's a toilet opportunity in 5 mins if you need it."
I then flashed her my cheeriest smile. She responded by just giving me a look of confusion - and that's when my panic set in.
Me: "You are with child, correct?"
Her: arms drop"No, just fat..."
The group recoiled as a collective, the poor woman looked absolutely humiliated and her husband went beet red. My panic gave way to total flight mode and I awkwardly half-yelled my response.
"GOOD, BECAUSE THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN ANNOYING HA HA!"
dies inside
The Oil
I may be accident prone, but it's usually because of outside forces. However, the second time I was trying to make donuts, I had the biggest blonde moment of my life.
And yes, I am blonde.
Finished everything up, and was cleaning, cause my mom usually gets on my case when I don't clean up after baking. Had wiped down all the counters, put the ingredients away, and all that was left was the hot oil.
My dumbass proceeds to forget what happens when hot oil and cold water do when mixed.
Proceeded to get second degree burns on my dominant hand, and need to call an ambulance because no one is home to the hospital. After I got back, with a newly bandaged hand, my mom got on my case for not cleaning up the oil.
Love you too, mom
Pizza Pandemonium
Threw a frozen pizza in the oven for my son. A few minutes later the house starts filling with smoke. I open the oven to discover I had put the pizza in upside down.
- Sullt8
Giving City Block A New Meaning
I was trying to charge my phone and I plugged then cable into my phone. It wasn't charging. Then I realized I was walking through the city with the block dragging behind me.
Chili Powder Panic
My dad couldn't get the chili powder to come out no matter how hard he smacked the bottle. So he turns the open bottle upside down over his face and smacks it hard. Cue the screaming when the chili powder drops on his left eye.
Rather than rushing to the kitchen sink less than an arm's length away he runs down the hallway, still screaming, to the bathroom at the farther end of the house.
I asked him why he didn't use the kitchen sink and he yelled back "NOW YOU TELL ME!?" and ran back into the kitchen to use said sink.
I asked him again why he ran back just because I asked him the question, "I DON'T KNOW!!" he told me.
