Redditor 4fingersand9toes wanted to know about who is the person that haunts you because you can't say... "I'm sorry."
They asked:
"Who is someone from your past you want to apologize to and why?"
When it comes to apologies... I couldn't even give you a ballpark number.
So I'm sorry to everybody.
Just in case...
Moved On...
Sorry Tom Hiddleston GIFGiphy"1st fiancee. Sorry that I found drugs and booze. You were right and I'm happy your life has gone well. It's been 20 years and we were both young. She rightly moved on and lived her life without me just fine. It'd be just self serving now at this point." ~ palostabandgrab
Iām proud of you...
"My younger self. Iām so sorry I said all those mean and degrading things to you to make you work and study harder. I shouldāve told you that I love you and that Iām proud of you. Iām sorry I made you want to hurt yourself for not reaching your parent's ridiculous high expectations." ~ foreverbrokeaf
but I canāt...
"My older brother. He passed away in 2004 and we had a big fight before that I never apologized for. Itāll always eat at me and I know people will say 'he wouldnāt want you to dwell on that and heād want you to live a good life' but I canāt. No matter how hard I try. I know Iāll never see him again and itās the biggest regret and torment I have in life. I love you brother and Iām eternally sorry." ~ potluck88
I Didn't Know!
"I'd want to apologize to a girl I knew when I was 15. She was really into me and very kind and very proudly bi. Sheād always jump on me and hug me and really just genuinely like me. But I pushed her away and was bit sharp with herā¦ lo and behold that was my internalized homophobia popping up as I am now a proudly out lesbian. Iām sorry, you." ~ Competitive-Cry1989
Love you mom...
mothers day mom GIFGiphy"My mom. She died giving birth to me along with my twin sister. I know it's not my fault but I feel like it is." ~ Waffle-Azul
Losing someone in death and never getting that chance to right things; that is a hard one. Don't let that happen.
You are Worthy!
High Five Mtv GIF by INTO ACTIONGiphy"I'm sorry to younger me, sorry I couldn't see your worth, I'm sorry that I couldn't see you as a person who was as capable as anyone else, I'm sorry for the lack of confidence- I'm sorry for all the damage such thoughts caused you." ~ wasabi_mama
I was Dumb
"From the age of 12 to 17 I took care of my dying grandmother through her stages of sickness. My grandfather had gotten addicted to drugs, and it was literally me and her against the world. I had to come home right after school, could not play or hang out with friends, because she needed help."
"I would often stress at school because I had found her on the ground after falls and she had laid there for hours until I got home. It was a constant state of stress and fear. By the time I was 16-17, near her sickest point, I was so angry all of the time. Iād get so frustrated when she called my name."
"I was impatient with her for so many dumb things. I made her feel like the burden, and she died so tired and sad. I hate myself for how I treated her in that last year. I wish I could tell her Iād give anything to spend that last year differently , and that I was so sorry for the things I said." ~ Nspired_1
Tantrums
"My friend had just had a baby (we were mid 20s) and I was annoyed that she wasn't being supportive when I was going through something which in hindsight wasn't important enough to be as upset as I was. I was selfish and acting like a toddler throwing a fit when I wasn't getting attention. I would apologize for trying to imply her life should revolve around me." ~ alanastew
She was hungry...
"A girl at school, when I was younger and still in school there was this girl who would go around stealing people's food, she stole my food again and i was sick of it so I punched her in her nose and attempted to shove my food down her throat, she was always stealing just food... now that I'm older I think about her and realize she was always extremely skinny, and I never saw her bring her own food or lunchbox, maybe she wasn't well fed... I'm sorry to her." ~ Vanilla4Pistachio
Anger Issues
Look Whos Talking Now Reaction GIFGiphy"Probably everyone. I was such a short tempered child, and anything would make me angry." ~ robothelicopter
Practice humility, it's a gift. Apologize now. Now is all we've got.
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Most bullies never have a problem permeating their ignorance and rage until it hits them close to home. This is why parents need to be brought into the conversation much sooner. No parent wants to raise a little sociopath that will bring shame to the family. And bullies sometimes need to see for themselves through the eyes of a loved one the damage they can cause.
sassy taraji p henson GIFYou're the dumb one...
Similar thing happened to me. I was complaining to my family about kids in my class who couldn't read and did an impression of their terrible reading, sounding out "the" with a stutter. I said they were dumb as rocks. I thought I was being funny, and my parents were like "that is actually really horrible, don't ever say crap like that again."
Sins of the past...
One day, after school, I was watching two bullies chasing their usual victim, and I had this weird moment of clarity. I could see everything that was about to happen, and that, if I moved to stand in a certain position, he'd have nowhere to run and they'd catch him. It was like some sort of weird pack instinct. So I cut him off, they caught him, and... I got this weird euphoric feeling. Didn't involve myself any further. Just walked away, felt like I was floating the whole way home.
And, when I got home, I was so stoked that I just excitedly spilled the whole thing to my mother. Turned out she was bullied at school. Thing is, I knew that. If I'd been thinking, I'd have known she'd be pissed, but I was just... Out of it. I was so damn pleased with myself that it didn't even occur to me that somebody might have a problem with what I did.
becoming...
When I realized I was becoming my father whom I loathe. I realized that I was taking my pain out on the person closest to me to feel in control. When I realized people were leaving my life, that is when I began to make the changes through mostly therapy AND analyzing what I need to feel in control (a better financial situation in my case and discontinuing a relationship with my father). I feel great now and treat everyone as best I can with respect.
Just like the saying says... "it's all fun and games until someone gets hurt." And in these situations, someone will always be hurt. And a bully won't understand what they inflict until they themselves are inflicted.
"this girl"
I've said this story before but back in Secondary School, a group of us would bully this one kid anyways one day a we decided we would catfish him via MSN after a while he and "this girl" decided to meet up, it gets to that day and obviously we are waiting for him at the local cinema and as we are going down the escalator to the meeting point I spot him with some flowers and chocolate just waiting.
I have never felt so awful about anything in my life so I went and came clean to him about everything and apologised, spent the rest of the day talking to him and now about 20 years later he is one of my oldest and closest friends and I've not seen or heard from the other group since we left school.
There are always specific people that will haunt us all, even those people who taunted and traumatized others. Everybody has a somebody that somehow left a mark on their person or their soul. It maybe the person you scorched the most or the one who brought karma full circle. Either way you can't out run an impact. The next group know this all too well.
Gleeful
Santana Lopez Smile GIFGiphyThis is dumb, but watching Glee and relating too much to Santana. It would be like: "Wow, what a horrible person, how can she say... oh, I've said that... I've said and done WORSE than that. Damn."
For me it was kind of opposite. Watching Glee and relating too much to Rachel. That was more like "oh, so that's why everyone in school hated me."
I'm Awful
There was a friend of mine, we talk a lot on discord. Then one time he vented up to me and said that he was harassing one of his neighbors, stuff like blackmailing, and verbal bullying. He said that he was just having fun. After some time, he haven't seeing him around. He just got the news that his neighbor committed suicide.
The parent doesn't know why, it was only my friend who knows.
When I was talking to him that time, I was getting some red flags that he might also harm himself. I told him to go to a psychiatrist or some professional who can help. A year had past and he seemed like he have changed a lot.
A kid named Charles...
When I was in the 5th grade (mid 70's), I was an Army brat. A kid named Charles used to try to frequently beat me up. Once even kicked me in the nuts in Sunday school. One day, said he was gonna beat me up after school. I tried to hide, but he "escorted" me off school property.
Another kid named Herman bodily picked Charles up and said "Run aecarol1, I can't hold him long." I managed to evade him that day.
One day a few weeks later he came to my door and asked if I could come out. Very warily I did, but we just hung out. Things changed with him, but I have no idea what. We were never close, but he never bothered me again.
I suspect my dad spoke with his dad, but I'll never know as my dad passed more than 20 years ago. I hope he turned out okay. The fact he sought me out and we just hung out for a couple hours did a lot for me and restored a bit of my faith in the idea people can improve.
I will forever be grateful to Herman, he literally saved my butt that day.
The Bigger Fish
big fish GIFGiphyNot me but in my old middle school when I was a seventh grader I had P.E. class which was all mixed up with boys from different grades.
So while we were in the locker room an 8th grader took a crap inside this 6th grader's backpack while he took a shower. I'm talking both clothes and school materials were in the backpack. Apparently the 6th grader had bullied the 8th grader's sister who was in 6th as well, so he did it for revenge. Many guys, including myself saw as he took the backpack to the bathroom to poop on it.
I thought the guy was just joking but minutes later sum kid comes out telling the coach that there is a backpack with poop in the bathroom. Poor Chap had to stand around in the towel for his mom to bring him new clothes and school materials. Ig the lesson here is for bullies, that there is always a Bigger Fish.
Be kind y'all. It literally costs absolutely nothing to smile politely at a stranger. Hold open a door for the elderly. Compliment someone who is struggling and trying. In the long run being a hateful, mean spirited blowhard costs your soul more than anything else. Everyone is just trying to survive, so help them.
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I had gained weight after going on medication for PCOS. Don't worry, though. He found me on social media a few years ago and yeah ... he played himself.
Anyway, one Reddit user asked:
What is the sh*ttiest apology you've ever received?
... you ever want to just secondhand side-eye someone? Like they didn't do anything wrong to you directly, but they still deserve the side-eye?
Yeah.
#SorryNotSorry
sorry not sorry GIF by Demi LovatoGiphy'I'm sorry you feel that way' - not actually an apology!!!
- RN_MD
It's sh*tty and condescending, but sometimes it's appropriate. Like if the person is mad at you for some perceived slight that you shouldn't have to apologize for.
For example, if a family member is mad at you because you voted differently to them.
It's not really meant to be an apology. It's acknowledging that you know they are looking for one; but you aren't going to simply accept blame unfairly for the sake of their ego.
So Selfless
My ex cheated and when we broke up she said:
"I'm so sorry. I wanted to breakup months ago, but I didn't want to hurt you. I'm so selfless."
She was literally sobbing so hard "I'm so selfless." wiping tears away. The moment really shattered the rose-tinted glasses. It's very funny to think about now, but at the time...
- -Coreyj-
Only Sensitive People Are Insulted By Insults
'Sorry, I didn't realise you were so sensitive'
From the guy that just insulted me to my husband. He was shocked, shocked I tell you!, that I got upset.
We were hanging out and he commented:
'God, if I was married to her I'd have to go out and have an affair'
My husband didn't hear him. I did. I didn't make a scene. I just said 'wow' and got up to walk away.
He 'apologised' when everyone looked at me and saw that I was upset.
A Forced E-mail
A manager at work asked for my help with a promotion we were running. I offered some advice, which was met with "I can cover that up, r*tard!"
I stopped, told him he cannot ever call me that and shouldn't ever use the word. The apology I received was: "I'm sorry you're offended by that."
The very next day, this manager was in a meeting with our General Operations Manager - for over 3 hours. With 10 minutes left in his shift, I received a lengthy apology email that was very obviously forced.
I kill this guy with kindness every time I see him, just to drive it home how awful of a person he is.
- nopeduck
I Was Right The Whole Time
Group project for school, and one of my team members wasn't happy with my part and decided to berate me publicly in our group chat, and then told our other teammates to stay out of it when they defended me.
I privately messaged him and said that while my part may not be up to his standards and I was sorry for that, the way he went about it was incredibly rude to both me and our group members and he needed to apologize.
Here was his "apology" back to me:
"Thank you for apologizing about your part of the project, and while you thought I was rude, I was actually right the whole time."
Now Can We Stay In Your Beach House?
tv land sea GIF by nobodies.Giphy"Ok fine. I apologize if you have found my behavior objectionable in some way. Now can we stay in your beach house?"
That was from my sister-in-law. She is the woman who wrote my husband telling him not to marry me and who has not spoken to me in 12 years unless she wants something.
After we bought a vacation home, she wanted to stay there 2 weeks in the summer for free.
The answer was no.
An "Apology" For The AbuseĀ
My mom abused me for most of my childhood.
I had to cover bruises on my throat, eat out of the kitchen garbage can, shield my little sister from my mothers beatings. That's not even close to the worst, but it's as deep into that as I'd like to go.
In a therapy session she was dragged into, my therapist told her that I, at twelve years old, had CPTSD to such a crippling degree that she was considering getting me references for a service dog to help me cope with life. It spurred an argument.
Halfway through she threw her hands up and sarcastically yelled "I'm sorry for being such a sh*tty person. You happy now? For f*cks sake, you stress me out more than your fathers funeral!" and walked out.
I'm officially cutting her off next week after finalizing a couple things to get my life independent from her.
We Both Know
Person, after not talking to me for a month:
"Well we both agree we know what you did wrong, and even though it was super rude and I was obviously right, I forgive you and we are moving on."
.... except I did NOT know. We didn't agree on anything. I have no idea what happened.
All I know is the person literally called me a b*tch before they stopped talking to me.
I'm not even sure this counts as an apology
A Tone Of Self Deprecation
Honestly, apologies that are backed by "I am shi*ty person" or "I know I am a crappy friend" etc.
Basically, apologies with a tone of self deprecation so that you feel bad about them being not okay so that you have to keep your hurt aside and take care of them because you do care about them.
People need to understand that apologies don't work that way.
I Decided I Forgive Myself
(Paraphrasing) "I know I shouldn't have called you a c*nt and thrown things at you. But you were acting like a child and made me mad on purpose."
Followed the next day by:
"I did a bunch of mdma, and decided that I forgive myself. I expect you to behave differently in the future."
Learning To Lose Weight
"Well I'm sorry that you feel that way, but I didn't do anything wrong. I'm trying to help you learn to lose weight"
It's what my mom has told me after hitting me and calling me "fatso" and "fat@ss" daily. I understand she's trying to help, but I don't need to be abused.
Peace Be With You
saoirse ronan reading GIF by A24GiphyMy old school friends shunned me. Literally. They spent 3 months talking trash about me and pretending not to see or hear me; like I wasn't even in the room.
Then one day at the end of mass (a few weeks before graduation) they turned to me and said "peace be with you" and hugged me like nothing happened!
This happened almost 10 years ago but because of that, I learned to choose my friends wisely. I am still careful and do not trust people easily.
Late To Basketball
Someone at school was supposed to apologize face-to-face in front of me and the principal for flipping my phone.
Instead of just getting on with it, he went on in a ten minute ramble about why he did it. Most of it was bullsh*t anyways, but when the principal told him that he had no time left, he just uttered a quick 'sorry' and fricking left.
I didn't even get to say anything back!
Him talking for forever combined with the fact that the bus was late, meant that I was late to my basketball after school activity.
Grab My Wife's...
I cut off contact with my father about 12 years ago when he tried to grab my wife's breasts. This was the final staw after a lifetime of bad behavior that I had repeatedly demanded he fix.
A few years later he sent some asinine email that talked about the importance of family. It wasn't an apology exactly, but it's the closest I've seen him ever give.
Then, below his signature, he posted a Bible verse. It was the line from the prodigal son story where the kid falls to the ground and apologizes for being such a bad son.
We still aren't speaking. He's almost 80 and in poor health. He won't meet his granddaughter and will soon be forgotten.
Not Enough Seratonin
My best friends and I used to all hangout in a group. After a while they kept hanging out without me.
One day I asked them one of them to hangout and they said "sure."
I just said "ok lemme know when you're free."
Later, they all started sending me pics of them hanging out together. That night, I called one of them - the one who has been my best friend for 4 years and who I have known for 7.
I very maturely asked "Hey I've noticed that you guys keep doing stuff without me. Did I do something wrong?"
She said "No you didn't do anything necessarily wrong we just didn't want to get you."
We legit all live 5 mins away from each other and I could have drive myself. But I just let it go like oh okay.
BUT THEN
Like 2 hours later, she Snapchat's me a picture and it just has like a long @ss paragraph blaming me for being too quiet sometimes when we hangout. She says that's a problem "because it doesn't give her serotonin."
WTF
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Myla Corvidae, 30, was born female and now identifies as transgender non-binary using they/them pronouns.
Myla Corvidae /SWNS.COM
They had picked up a few items of clothing from the menswear section of M&S in Aberdeen, Scotland, and wanted to try them on in the store.
But a member of staff told them they could not try the clothes on in the changing rooms by the menswear section.
Myla says they were told the facilities were "only for men" during the incident on December 31, 2019.
A spokesman for M&S admitted "a mistake was made" and the store has apologized - including a personal letter from the manager.
Google
Myla, of Aberdeen, said:
"I'd picked up some shirts and jumpers from the menswear section and went into the changing rooms nearby. There was no attendant so I just went on in."
"I left the changing room to grab a bigger size in one of the jumpers and a female attendant approached me on the shop floor."
"She told me I couldn't use the changing rooms there as they were 'only for men' and said that I had to use the changing rooms downstairs which are for women."
"I was utterly shocked and the only thing I could think of to say was 'I'm not female' to which she looked me up and down, apologized and walked off."
"I felt sick, like I was being accused of some kind of crime just for trying on clothes. Afterwards, I went home and cried - I have never been accosted like that in a store before."
"I had to go back in and speak to someone in store because no one took it seriously the first time and I started crying even trying to talk about it again with them."
Myla Corvidae /SWNS.COM
Myla had been shopping in the Aberdeen City Center branch of Marks & Spencer regularly for the past five years before this happened.
Following the incident, Myla has complained to Marks & Spencer who have formally apologized to them both in person and via letter.
Despite the apology from the company, Myla feels unable to return to the shop due to the distress caused on that day.
Myla said:
"I don't think the apology was enough to be honest, it shouldn't have ever happened to start with and I have lost confidence in Marks & Spencer as a company for standing up for trans folk like myself."
"I still feel scared to shop at Marks & Spencer in case it happens again elsewhere or if I have to deal with that same person again."
"The fact that I saw a female using the space at the same time in full view of the attendant when I left the changing rooms just made it so much more of a personal attack."
"I honestly don't think I would go back there, I don't want to have to experience something like that again or see that staff member again."
"I am still very much upset by what happened and if I were to go back I wouldn't go on my own and I would not be shopping for clothes there again."
Myla Corvidae /SWNS.COM
An M&S spokesperson said:
"With our fitting rooms we only offer individual lockable cubicles and this is to ensure every customer feels comfortable and has the privacy they need."
"The fitting rooms are located within our womenswear and menswear departments and therefore are mainly used by customers of that gender. However, as an inclusive retailer and in line with most other retailers, we allow customers the choice of fitting room in respect of how they identify themselves."
"Clearly on this occasion a mistake was made, we have apologized to our customer for this incident, additionally our store manager wrote a personal apology assuring the customer they have spoken to the team."