*The following article contains discussion of suicide/self-harm.
Most parents only want the best for their children. They also know from experience that as their kids grow older they're going to assert their independence in different ways, including but not limited to dating.
But suppose the parent doesn't approve of whoever their son or daughter is dating? Relationships are bound to be strained—though hopefully not permanently.
People shared their stories after Redditor Morticiar asked the online community:
"Parents of Reddit whose children have dated awful people, who was the worst? Why?"
"The very mentally abusive boyfriend..."
"The very mentally abusive boyfriend who got in her head so badly that he convinced my epilepic daughter that if she stopped taking her meds she wouldn't have epilepsy any more. It was only because she was taking mind altering drugs that she had a problem."
"The car accident was pretty full on but she got out unscathed and no one else was hurt."
Alfredthegiraffe20
Thankfully she walked away from that crash!
This could have gone so differently.
"She started protesting..."
"I have only stepped in once when I saw one of my girls spending a lot of time with someone I didn't approve of."
I work for the happier side of my state's human services agency, but we still share a lot of our agency customers with Child Welfare."
"I have a pretty good memory for names, faces, etc, and within the department, we talk quite a bit, so I will occasionally run into a family about whom I already know an uncomfortable amount of private information, but generally it doesn't affect the decisions I have to make aside from who it gets assigned to next."
"She came home talking about this boy she'd met, and I recognized his first name immediately, because it was uncommon. I asked her, 'Tou're talking about 'Firatname Lastname, right?'"
"She gave me this really confused look and said, '....yeah...?'"
"I told her, 'Ok, kiddo, look. I can't discuss the reasons for this. I know you like this kid, but the answer is absolutely not. You are not to hang out with him or his circle of friends. I need you to trust me on this, because I can't tell you anything about my reasons for it.'"
"She started protesting, and I pointed out, I'd never said anything like that to her before. It wasn't until nearly six years later that she learned about his criminal history as a juvenile, which included rape and a number of other unsavory things."
slice_of_pi
You sound like an excellent parent and you handled this situation tactfully and with class.
"Barely in high school..."
"First guy my daughter dated."
"Barely in high school, already showing attitude problems. Anyone older than him was seen as an annoyance in whatever he wanted to do in life, even at 15. Came from a broken home, turned out he was the third of 10+ kids by one man with as many different women."
"Already started getting suspension in high school because of same disrespect towards teachers. Had unfortunately convinced daughter to skip school a few times with him. Her grades started showing major drop, had to start intervention."
"Took six months and discovery of him trying to date two other girls that finally stopped the relationship. He had gotten one of those girls pregnant by mid ninth grade year. Seeing the relationship end, felt crisis averted."
"A year later as we are at home, daughter comes running into living room saying he is outside her bedroom. Before I can check the back side of house, cop has come up to house. He apparently pushed his mom down a flight of stairs in an argument, took off and could only think to come here. As I am talking to cop, bringing her to back side of house, we hear the gate slam on the other side as he takes off down the road."
"Cop says he is not as much of a threat to spend chasing, puts out an APB for others if they see him. I request a restraining order to clear any controversy I may have. Two years pass. Apparently he got three different girls pregnant in those two years."
"Daughter comes home one day to tell me he has a warrant out. Had pushed his 3rd pregnant girlfriend down a flight of stairs in an argument. She had ended up miscarrying. Local police office actually contacted me later that night about it since I had requested a restraining order on him 2 years prior and they did not know his whereabouts."
"They find him about 40 miles north, charge him with manslaughter, and he has been serving a sentence since he was 17, about 2-3 years ago. I fear for the two other children he had with his other girlfriends each time I think about them."
Lostarchitorture
This is quite the rollercoaster ride.
Thankfully your daughter is away from him at last.
"My son dated a woman..."
"My son dated a woman who would smack him across the face when she would get angry with him. Once in front of me. My ex-husband was very violent and I was always terrified that my boys would take after him. I never considered that they might end up in an abusive situation themselves. They eventually broke up."
sm710
Glad he did!
It could have been much worse.
"He steals a car."
"He's 15. He steals a car, comes to the house to elope with her. She won't go, so he takes off. Police spot him, and he leads them on a chase from Seattle to the Columbia River, at speeds of over 100 mph at times. At the river, he slams into an abutment and is killed instantly."
ikusuzwen
This story took me on a journey.
"My stepson tried to break up with his girlfriend when they were 16. She threatened suicide if he left her. Despite all of our pleas, he was too afraid of her self-harm. It’s been 8 years and he has just become a shell of his former self."
"He’s lost weight (and he was skinny already), he’s got dark under eye circles. It’s so hard to watch, but she’s convinced him that we all hate her and, by extension, we hate him."
Lilliputian0513
This is tragic and we are sorry to hear it.
Hopefully you can get through to him someday.
"He worked hard to separate her..."
"My daughter started dating him in high school. He immediately started separating her from her friends. Get this, one of her friends is quite buxom, and told her she could not hang out with her because of that."
"He worked hard to separate her from family and friends. During her first year of college she ended up pregnant. He joined the Navy, and they left home. He began drinking and became verbally abusive."
"After getting kicked out of the Navy, they came home and my husband helped get him a job. Then another child was born. The drinking continued and the he started on meth and the violence began. She would deny the abuse and stayed with him and had another child."
"Finally, she left him. Then the next loser was also an addict and they had a child. Again violence. CPS took the children due to drugs and abuse. So I had four kids. I kept them for a year and a half and she regained custody."
"That lasted three months, and she lost custody again. We split the kids with other family due to my health issues. I am raising the oldest two."
"Now there is a new guy and a new baby. Yes that makes five."
"I love my daughter dearly but I’m disappointed in her."
629mrsn
The tragedy of this story cannot be underestimated.
A nightmare for any parent.
"My stepdaughter..."
"My step daughter started dating a guy when she was 15, hiding the relationship as only a friendship. Once they started dating officially he started controlling her every move. He didn’t drive or work but she did both."
"The car was a car her mother and I gave her that was ours. He started driving it and all that s**t. He got her strung out on drugs and was abusive to her already weak mental health. He would break her down constantly and make her feel worthless."
"They would rent motel rooms to sell drugs and who knows what else out of. Her father and my wife would never just put their foot down on anything and me being a stepparent, I was not listened to as I feel like I should have been. This s**t continued until 5 months before her 18th birthday when we caught them red handed."
"I took the car away and made it disappear. He was arrested and spent a few months in jail for a s**t ton of drugs and dealing stuff with two of his friends. Before she turned 18, like two months before, she had a real huge mental breakdown while at therapy and they thought she was going to self harm."
"I told her father and her mother and grandparents that she needed to get into a facility for treatment and it was important that they do that before she turned 18. It didn’t happen. She turned 18 and moved to a different state to live with him and that is the situation now."
"It is f**king real sad how this motherf**ker ruined her life by destroying her ambition and self confidence."
Pessimistic_Soviet
Condolences.
Hopefully one day she makes it out.
It can be so difficult for people in abusive situations to see what's happening in front of them.
To reiterate: most parents want the best for their children.
But once they're old enough (and sometimes before that), all bets are off.
Children will evolve into their own people—for better or worse, though this doesn't mean that they are incapable of redemption either.
Have some stories of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
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People Describe The One Thing That Always Makes Them Think 'That Person Has No Manners'
Rudeness is often based in a complete lack of awareness. That is no excuse. Rather, the ability to be so oblivious about the motivations and needs of other people is a fundamental character flaw.
A rude act based on that tendency is merely the tip of an uglier iceberg.
A recent Reddit thread offered solace to the legions of people out there that were forced to bite their tongue when they witnessed someone behave unconsciously and at the expense of someone else.
The thread served as a gathering place for pent up anger that, all at once, had the chance to explode.
And the thread also may leave you wondering how you might be more conscientious and remember your manners when the circumstances leave mindfulness harder to come by.
Fonzie1225 asked,
"What is one thing that instantly makes you think 'this person has no manners?' "
Proudly Excluding
"Inviting everyone in the friend group to an event and excluding just one friend then proceeding to talk about how much fun they're going to have at said event in front of the person that was purposely excluded, in front of everybody."
"Happened today and thought it was pretty rude."
-- TDiddy_
Unfettered Rascals
"Parents who let their children run rampant anywhere. I've seen parents watch as their kid pops their fingers through every package of meat at the grocery store and do nothing...."
"Parents who let their kids kick a strangers shoe or other belongings."
"Letting the kids spit on windows and rub it with their hands. Letting them run around the store, playing with anything and everything and leaving a mess for others to clean and the parents literally just ignore it!!!"
"I never understood that. They really are your obligation, not the store associate who's unlucky enough to be working the shift you happen to stroll in during."
"Be a parent!!! Bad kids can turn into shi**y people."
A Captive Audience
"Blasting music on the bus, absolute tw*ts" -- BigBadKYDO
"Yeah absolutely, I hate those kind of people, no one wants to listen to your shi**y music especially on a bus on the way to work or something" -- Orenge01
"People who bring their speakers with them on hikes and blast them out loud for every animal and people on the trail to hear...-_-." -- banhsauce
Grocery Store Faux Pas
"Standing in the middle of the aisle at a grocery store. Not returning the cart." -- bigboywords
"When grocery shoppers leave their carts in the middle of the aisle instead of pulling over." -- Sobemiki
"The grocery store is a cesspool for inconsiderate people. Idk why this brings out the worst in humans."
"People who leave their cart in the middle of the parking lot, people who dead stop to turn around without looking and crash into someone else's cart, people who exit an isle into the main isle without stopping and crash into someone else's cart..."
"...people who spend an absurd amount of time looking at a particular meat section so everyone else has to wait, people who bring an entire cart full of food to the express lane, people who park in the middle of the driving lane and block traffic because the close spots are taken up."
"I could go on all day about how much I hate grocery shopping lol." -- Dopekick
Obstructions
"When they walk into an elevator before you have a chance to get off. Same w buses and subways." -- guyuteharpua
"Some girl did this in a building I was in once and I said 'You know it's polite to wait for people to get off before you barge on' and she just screams 'I know!' " -- jessflyc
"You would absolutely love Japan. I have never seen such considerate people when it comes to mass transportation." -- Castianna
Free Transportation
"When you offer your time and money to drive someone and they don't thank you for the ride." -- mishmash_iam_trash
"When you give someone a ride and they leave their empty soda can or coffee cup in your cupholder." -- kindcrow
"When you give someone a ride and they complain about it" -- danure
One Man's Trash is Another's Fury
"Littering" -- Regularjay69
"People who leave their litter and uneaten food all over fast food restaurant tables, and the floor area." -- ofbalance
"Hung out with a co-worker once and he threw all his garbage out the window of his car onto the street. Never hung out with him again." -- OmManiPadmeHuumm
Taking Service for Granted
"Being an a**hole to the waiter or waitress." -- lhuthien
"Yelling at retail workers. Most recently about wearing masks or putting hand sanitizer on. It takes little to no effort and people lose their minds over it" -- Klaus369
"Not saying "Thank You" to stuff like someone holding a door open for them or a waiter/waitress refilling their drink" -- Profanity_TX
"People who click their fingers at waiting or bar staff" -- GinAndBareIt92
PIPE DOWN
"Talking over people. If someone is talking stfu and listen, when they're finished you can tell your shi**y story, not halfway through someone else's." -- Its-my-d*ck-in-a-box
"Interrupting mid sentence. I know I'm guilty at times, it makes me feel like trash" -- HypnotizedMeg
"Speaking over others" -- jjstgo
Real Time Rudeness
"It's currently 10pm and my parents have decided that watching a movie at max volume with their sound bar seemingly set to max bass is an ok thing to do, in an apartment that has two families on either side one of which has a one year old"
"So I'd say that"
People Explain Which Names Are Forever Ruined For Them Because Of Someone From Their Past
The human brain is obsessed with associations. As it navigates novel stimuli and experiences, the exposures of the past come up big for understanding what the heck we're looking at in a given moment.
Unfortunately, that holds true when the past stimulus was a huge jerk face.
Negative associations to common first names are a sad, but common truth in a long life. After all, with so many repeated names, a few are bound to be rotten eggs.
That can make things unfair for someone at a party that shares a name with the infuriating dingus of yesteryear. But sometimes a brain hangup is far more powerful than rational fairness.
AutisticAtheist999 asked,
"What name is ruined for you, because of one person you hate?"
30 Years of Fuming Rage
Paul, the guy who bullied me every year from kindergarten through 12th grade. I'm 48 now, and, every time I meet a person named Paul, I automatically feel hatred towards them.
GiphyBand Geeks
"Mason, someone with the name was a section leader at my marching band and let's just say he wasn't really a nice person."
Pain Runs Deep
"Allyson. My husband loves the name but I wouldn't/couldn't name our daughters it. Allyson was a big and tall girl in elementary school and she didn't even push me around. Her bullying was strictly psychological. She did her best to make sure I was never happy."
[deleted]
Nooo.
"Jake Paul, ever since some of my friends started nicknaming me Jake Paul."
[deleted]
Benefit of the Doubt
I have never met a Tyler or Ashley that wasn't an absolute piece of sh*t.
Sorry to those nice ones out there.
Worst Line of Work for Names
My spouse and I are both teachers... a lot of future baby names are ruined because of a**hole students we've had in our classes. Every Mike out there.
GiphySide Effects
Hannah. I dated a girl named Hannah and she ruined my life temporarily by stealing all of my friends and embarrassing me in front of most of my school by getting her brother to beat me up.
It's been 2 years and there are still side effects.
Certainly Narrows it Down
I worked in post secondary student housing for 15 years, supervising literally thousands of 17 - 21 year olds.
When it came to naming my son, I had to veto dozens of names my wife came up with because I had to deal with entitled sh!tbuckets as part of my job.
Liam, Jason, Tyler, Dylan, Ryan, Taylor, Cody, Kyle, Xavier, Zack, ...all were unacceptable.
You'll Know Him When You See Him
Callum.
If you're reading this you know I'll kill you if we meet again.
Authoritative Spoiling
Victoria
She was a manager at my previous job, the type to describe herself as 'brutally honest' when she was actually just mean.
An Unholy Trauma
Angel
Long story short: He does not want to see me happy, get a girlfriend, live a normal life, etc. He'd be better off named Demon.
Quite the Pattern
Anyone named Sam.
Every time I meet one they seem nice at first but that's only so then they can find a nice spot to put a dagger in my back.
GiphyCasting a Wide Net
Abigail, Abby, Abbie, Abbe, however you spell it.
They're not to be trusted.
Hard to Recover From That One
I always loved the name Theo for a son, and always had intended to name a son that.
In late high school my girlfriend at the time told me she was pregnant and we decided we were going to do the whole thing. Told our parents, started getting our sh*t together. Decided if it was a boy we were going to name him Theo and were working on girl names.
Then, after a month or so of this, she told me she had miscarried. We broke up about a year after that, and I learned when we broke up that she had faked the whole fu**ing thing. Decided to fake a pregnancy to 'test my loyalty.'
May Be a Biased Sample
Justin. Literally every Justin I have ever crossed paths with has been an absolute insufferable douche. susannahmio82
I've met one Justin in my life. This description fits. Slushy13
True. Disgusting. Potatoe-Peaches
Sounds Like We Have a Consensus
Like others have said, people named Tyler generally suck. I had a high school friend named Tyler that was the most annoying narcissistic a**hole and I cut him out of my life the day I graduated.
The Full Name Rage
Lindsey. I hate the name because of a girl from high school. You know the person sucked if every time you think of the person you say both their first and last name.
Sorry, Todds
Todd. Never liked a Todd, I've known some really d*ckheads named Todd. Fu** you Todd. blahsdeep
Todd from breaking bad fits it. But Todd from Bojack Horseman is an exception. BasicUsername_1
Too Many David's. No More David's.
David. I know about 8 Davids, 6 of which are dumba**es or idiots who I had conflict with, or who did wrongs to me.
David 7 was a pal with whom I used to play Warhammer. The only David I actually like. I hope he's doing fine.
She Sounds Lovely
On a lighter note, Deanna, because in sixth grade one was in my class. And her nickname was what I wanted my nickname to be, since I didn't like the name I had at the time. It's very petty.
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With over 7 billion people in this world, there are sure to be a few that display a head-turning lack of conscientious thinking.
It's hard to say where such pure, undying self-absorbed conduct stems from. But it sucks.
In the absence of a public, battle royale-style confrontation with the rude perpetrator, Reddit has provided a far less violent outlet for the ear-steaming anger these dinguses provoke.
cloutydaze asked, "What's something that makes you say 'I f***ing hate people?'"
Fecal Booby Traps
I live in a big apartment complex and honestly the people who don't clean up after their dogs.
Seems like there are little doggy landmines every square inch of green space.
No Pooping in the Lake
I live near one of the most beautiful lakes in the world, and so every summer we get tons of people shi**ing, pissing, puking and throwing trash in it then moaning that they got swimmers itch.
We charge a high price for the stuff to get rid of it at my store because it's their own damn fault. Every year after they leave we spend a combined hundreds of hours cleaning up after them to keep that lake beautiful.
Didn’t Plan to Hear “Third Eye Blind” This Morning
Listening to music on your phone without headphones or having a speakerphone conversation in public. Your phone comes with earbuds, stop forcing us to listen to your trash.
Worse Than the Shoe Tyers
Cell phone a**holes. Stop in public doorways / middle of sidewalks / walk directly at you without looking cause they're on their phones.
Labor is not Servitude
People that eat out then leave a big mess with the attitude "the workers will do it, that's what they get paid to do."
Pride-Stricken Motor Snobs
People who speed up when you signal a lane change. F*ck those self important bastards.