How often do you look at a person or society as a whole and think... "Um, no. Just no?"
What are people thinking?
How do we leave the house in various states of disarray and think its fashion?
There are trends and behaviors that are just over, in fact they never really were.
Yet so many people persist.
We need to put together a guidebook of what's in and out.
And what never was.
Redditor Liam_Tang wanted to have a discussion about what's hot and what's not.
"What's not as attractive as people think?"
Stop with the clogs.
Not only are they ugly, they're dangerous.
They're half a shoe!
"When guys take pictures of themselves doing that furrowing the brow, biting the lip, rubbing the hands together thing. What is that? Who told them that looks good?"
"Pretending to be or overplaying being drunk/high."
"My best friend is this way. I’ve seen her exaggerating her drunkness and then turn it off so quick. Love hanging out with her, but I don’t enjoy drinking with her anymore. Nothing wrong with sober fun though!"
"Add on people who make getting drunk/high their entire personality. Do what you want to do, but hopefully there are other important things in your life."
"The way the internet has made everyone think they are an expert."
"This was the case before the internet. The internet just allows everyone to communicate with more people they otherwise would not have. You are seeing a much larger sample size. Flip side, easier to see if they are right or not."
"There are so much idiots you either feel like you are an Einstein amongst idiots, or you believe that you are a genius because all other 'geniuses' reassure you."
"Obsessed about being alpha/gigachad."
"I remember a self promoting giga-chad appearing as a guest at an industry seminar I attended. He said some gross things, nothing related to the industry. I had no idea where the hell they got this guy from, so I checked out his socials. Anyway, he promoted himself as a 'lifestyle coach' and 'alpha male.'"
"His YouTube was full of depressing videos of him in a windowless sterile room he called his 'studio' (obviously his rented bedroom). These videos spanned a number of topics, like how to convince women to have sex using psychology, making money from crypto and weird social theories he had."
"His Instagram was full of pictures of him in front of stranger's Lamborghinis pretending they were his, high-end nightclubs (with no evidence of friends) or dodgy styling tips. He obviously chose to live a lie... And yet this was the lie he chose. Weirdest rabbit hole I ever went down."
You be better
"Pointing out someone else's flaws to show how much better they are. Doesn't make them better; just makes them a judgemental a**hole."
This sounds about right for society as a whole.
I'm staying in more.
"Playing hard to get. I'm all for putting in effort, but stop giving me signals of not being interested, while you actually are. I'm here to build a relationship, not solve some nonsensical puzzle."
"Trying to act stuck up and showing off by flirting with other guys/girls in front of the person you like to try and get them jealous."
"Yeah, this one has always seemed trashy to me. If you need to make somebody jealous to get/keep them interested, then maybe you aren't that interesting. My friend had a crazy ex who did this shit and I just look at her with utter contempt."
"Conflict =/= Passion."
"Girlfriend of 3 years did that to me. She broke up with me and then harassed me for weeks to get back together; telling me to man up, you name it. It took a huge toll on me. I finally asked her why she would break up if she still wanted to date. Her response? 'I thought you would fight for me!.' Nah bro it doesn't work like that. Relationships are not game."
"Some who isn’t being direct, but expects anyone and everyone to be direct + whoever they’re talking to to be a mind reader and gets mad when neither happens."
"And the flipside where they proudly declare 'I speak my mind' and have zero social tact, and offend others around them constantly."
Can I get a Refund?
"People who show off their money."
"There's a TikTok that went (somewhat) viral of a guy at the bar showing his bank account to some women (women were smoking hot, guy looked like a grease monkey). The guy had like $90k."
So much of this leads back to bad behavior.
We need better goals, and more self esteem.
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"How does someone so sexy be so damn repulsive, babe?" is one of my favorite lyrics from one of my favorite criminally underrated TV shows, Star. It's from the song Ain't About What You Got (a song which was originally for Ariana Grande, so it's got some vocal leaps) - which basically is the soundtrack to this article.
(Honestly, since Brittany O'Grady is having a moment right now, I'm hoping people will go back and watch. It's got a convoluted plot/dope soundtrack combo, Queen Latifah, multiple murders, some of the strongest hoop earring game ever put on screen and a series ending that made me want to flip tables. It was like Sopranos but with Black & Brown people and the music industry.)
Reddit user rock4lite asked:
Now listen, I'm not gonna tell you to go grab a notebook or the voice note app on your phone because you're about to get some mind-blowing new knowledge.
Most of this boils down to Wheaton's Law.
"Meme Level Advice"Channel 9 Brush GIF by Married At First Sight AustraliaGiphy
"People do not understand how much basic hygiene can make a difference."
"I've been told by incels on this site that 'brushing your teeth, wearing clean clothes that fit, and having good posture is meme level advice and none of that matters.' "
"Well, let me tell you that the folks that actually get in my pants don't think that's meme-level advice. Basics, like clothes that fit and non-stinky breath, can go so far in making anybody way more attractive and approachable!" - LikelyNotABanana
"They consider it meme-level advice because that's what everyone constantly tells them, because they desperately need to do it. If they didn't keep brushing it off dismissively people probably wouldn't say it so often."
"If you ask someone for dating advice and they even mention these things, you absolutely need to do them. I have NEVER heard that said to anyone except to gently suggest they need to wash their ass and not dress like a slob."
"If their argument is 'i dId tHoSe tHiNgS bUt i sTiLl cAnT gEt a dAtE,' they're deliberately ignoring the fact that those things are the bare minimum and that they will still need to put in effort beyond that. Dating advice goes into far more detail elsewhere. No one is even pretending that basic hygiene is a silver bullet to getting laid."
"If someone's dating advice to you starts there, it's because YOU need to start there." - xxpen15mightierxx
Let People TalkDeep Breath Sigh GIF by MOODMANGiphy
"Speaking over me or others, it's not hard to be polite" - n3rd365
"The men of my boyfriend's family all do this constantly."
"I'm not sure it's possible to speak an entire sentence while having dinner with them. It's so discouraging."
"I've always felt very bad for his mother, being the only woman, and never being heard by her own sons/husband." - assortedolives
"I came here to say this. Speaking loud in general is unattractive to me - then when it's OVER someone else, it makes it so much worse." - SunyBunny420
"This is huge for me. I met my current boo because my date brought him along."
"Date kept speaking over his friend and me. The friend was a good listener and great conversationalist. I ditched my date for his friend and we've been together 3+ years." - karmabuchamama
Ex FactorSeason 1 Nbc GIF by The Good PlaceGiphy
"When someone seems to only have 'crazy exes' ... you should run away before the sentence is over." - lurkinarick
"Honestly, bashing multiple exes at any time (there should be zero bashing for the first several dates because honestly idk you well enough & will just assume you're a dude who plays victim 24/7)."
"Once I've gotten to know you better it's okay to open up about a bad relationship or two- but frankly you should be able to not get overly emotional about it (like don't resort to name-calling or mean-spiritedness) or else I'm gonna assume you have not dealt with the fallout."
"I never trust a guy who acts like he's a 'crazy magnet.' Dude, you're the common denominator here, not them." - Crankylosaurus
"A guy once said 'you can't polish a turd' about his ex/kid's mom during a pre-date video chat. I was so put off that I cancelled the date almost immediately after." - science_v_romance
Cruel Is Not CoolRhony GIFGiphy
"Being mean to appear cool." - azcntn
"I know this dude who is like a solid ten in all departments. I constantly joke that he's gonna steal my man, my mom, and the f*cking cats too."
"But the other day he was sharing his rebound stories and kept talking about he was gonna 'break hearts' and 'ruin her.' "
"I was like...bro eeeeew never let a woman hear you say that. You just turned into a sack of potatoes!" - RunanD
Pinnochiodisney classic GIFGiphy
"I remember I dated someone who would just lie to make himself sound cool."
"I remember I realized it when his coworker was telling a hilarious story that I thought happened to my boyfriend. I instantly had this pit in my stomach. Biggest turn off." - makopinktaco
"There's nothing worse. Especially when there's a certain crowd or situation that brings it out. Like chill bro it's not a competition." - Coyote__Jones
"Yes. There was man I thought I was the most solid and reliable and hot as f*ck dude I'd ever met…I found out he'd been lying to me for a long time and it didn't take long for me to be turned off by him."
"Now I see his face and where I used to get all bothered (in a good way) I now just am annoyed and the word 'Coward' flashes across my brain."
"he knew lying was the only way I'd even meet him for coffee to date him. Had he been honest at first I'd never had met him for coffee, much less integrate him into my life, have each other's kids become family to one another, etc."
"He could've chosen to be honest after the initial meeting, too. Instead, he chose continually to omit info, and then as we got to know each other he had to lie more and more to keep me in the dark and maintain his original lie, and then he started lying to to cover other things up (things that were different than the initial lie but rooted in the same kind of bad behavior he consistently engages in.)"
"And then when our conversations about our histories and exes got to a point where he clearly needed to be honest and there was no more hiding to be done, he would suddenly go cold shoulder and stop being supportive of me. Eventually he resorted to gaslighting and subtle psychological abuse in order to make me shut up and not ask him questions, and so he could just keep seeing and flirting with his exes behind my back off and on."
"Nope. Never again." - Logical_Director_280
Table Mannersthe lion king simba GIFGiphy
"I remember a date I had with a guy almost 25 years ago."
"I remember it because we went out to eat at a local pizza restaurant. In the time it took me to eat half a slice, he had vacuumed up the rest of the pie which included loud, open-mouth chewing and belching."
"Chunks of food landed on his shirt. There were snuffling sounds as he shoved food down his maw. I don't remember anything else about that night but his disgusting method of eating. Total deal killer."
"I saw one of our mutual friends last year and she mentioned him. She told me he was heartbroken I never went out with him again and took it really hard at the time."
"I wasn't mean or anything and I never knew he felt so strongly about me. Absolutely no clue."
"But if that was the case, then that means he was probably on his best behavior that night. I can't imagine what worse manners might have come out if I'd seen him again." - DemonaDrache
"Friend of mine went on a date with a bloke in Uni who ordered pulled pork, and ate it like he'd not been fed in months. The moment my friend realized it wasn't going to work was when the guy looked up at him, and he had a smear of BBQ sauce on his forehead like Simba in the Lion King." - TheeAJPowell
Alpha AwfulnessSchitts Creek Ok GIF by CBCGiphy
"Anything related to "alpha male" bull."
"If you tell me you're an 'alpha male' I will assume you have no personality, low self-esteem, are rude, abrasive, self-involved, and terrible in bed." - WrongRedditKronk
"I once had a dude I was actually kind of interested in refer to himself as an "apex sexual predator." I was no longer interested." - newyne
"Last week, I finally mustered up the courage to strike up a conversation with my gym crush after months of glances and smiles."
"He shared his Instagram, which was 'alphamale(his name).' Got over the crush so fast, there was some head-rush." - Biaatchandahalf
Glory DaysSeth Meyers Smoking GIF by Late Night with Seth MeyersGiphy
"Talking about how hot they used to be like this coworker of mine does."
" 'I used to bike 10 miles a day, do 200 pushups in one go, and I even used to have that V cut, you know...down there.' "
"I'm just trying to send this email, Doug. Please leave me alone." - After-Collar-4582
"This is hilarious."
" 'So I'm not hot but I used to be which means I stopped putting work into myself and you should find that attractive.' "
"WHAT????" - refrainsfrompartakin
"Oh my god, people bragging about how fit they used to be is so obnoxious. Like cool, I used to have breakfast but I ate it." - rileytrodd
"A guy I went to college with would tell anyone who'd listen that he was a swimmer in high school and kept a close up photo of his abs on his phone."
"I can't tell you the number of times I've said, 'Yeah, you've already shown me that photo. Good for you.' " - Justaregularderp
Break Stuff!destroy that 70s show GIF by LaffGiphy
'Being destructive particularly when other dudes or other people are near by. Breaking things on purpose, hitting things that shouldn't be hit like walls or windows or destroying other people's art/property."
"It doesn't make you cool or strong it makes you a wasteful jerk I won't invite back into my life ever again."
"Mostly this came from stories from friends about their friends, stuff I've seen online and personal experiences with my brother."
"I was the only girl in a group of 5 guys when I was like 8 or 9 and all of them were super destructive when they all got together. Otherwise they were great."
"I had a crush on one of them but he was being destructive (I don't remember what he broke) and I quit liking him."
"Also my ex boyfriend's 'friend' destroyed a lot of his stuff, and he'd let him. Including a painting I made my ex for his 16th birthday."
"I was really proud of it and if he didn't want it he could have sent it back." - LessEnthusiasmPlz
Long story short, just calm down, relax, and be cool.
I believe in y'all!
Like male birds with vibrant feathers and complicated mating ritual dances, straight men will go to absurd lengths to win the attention of women.
Go to any bar or club. Scan the room and undoubtedly come across bicep-clenching shirt sleeves and loud male voices screaming into the ear of a less-than-enthusiastic listener on the dance floor.
That's not to say there are plenty of wonderful traits that draw women to men. There's a reason marriage and procreation continues.
But for all those success stories, there are so many instances that involve a man trying to win the heart of a woman using means that are antithetical to what she actually values.
Redditor Londoner421 asked:
"Women, what's the least attractive quality in a man that they usually think is attractive?"
Many women responded by describing the men who apparently feel the need to convince others that they're worthy of attention.
But nobody likes a sales pitch.
"Treating dates like an informercial for themselves." -- zazzlekdazzle
" 'But wait, there's more! Have sex with me within the next 90 minutes and you'll get not one, not two, but THREE extra orgasms! Be the envy of all of your friends with this limited one-time-only offer!' " -- nubsauce87
Wall Flower Opposite
"Over-confidence or the need to show off" -- Glasswall1
"*Famous last words: 'Hey guys! Look what I can do!!'*👍" -- AndringRasew
"TLDR: insecurity" -- lipcrnb
Nobody Cares, Dude
"Bragging about having money" -- lockdownhype
"My love will take you around the world, but my bank account won't get us past the airport." -- InternetKidsAreMean
"Nice. I'm broke af" -- RogueDeku
A Fine Line
" 'Knowing' everything. Sure, intelligence is nice, but it's fu**ing transparent when you start bullshitting just so you don't have to admit there's something you don't know. Especially if I do know it."
Other women talked about the more toxic elements of masculinity.
"Being overly aggressive with other people. Like, you are out at a club with him and he is ready to pick fights with anyone who (he thinks) looks at him or me wrong."
"I think it makes them feel macho but it's a huge turn off for me. It's happened a few times, and the last time I just turned around and took a car home."
"Expressing the need to be violent without any real cause or hint that they enjoy being violent. It just outright frightens me being anywhere need people that do that."
We Are Not Apes
" 'Alpha male' 🙄" -- justputonsomemusic
"An unstable, early iteration of male. Needs further development and testing before public release." -- DoomCircus
And other women lamented all the men that seem to think attraction is a zero-sum game. These guys apparently felt that the only way to look good is to push a possible "threat" away.
Just Be Nice
"Putting other people down, to make themselves look better."
"No, you are not making yourself look better. You're being a di**."
Again, Nobody Cares.
"The one up man. Almost always dominates the conversation and one ups everyone else's experiences and replies. Shows me you're immature and can't hold a conversation without the focus being on you."
"Guys and/or girls who pride themselves on being able to out drink or outsmoke everyone until they're a blubbering mess. Or doing a bunch of drugs."
"They think they're so epic but it's honestly embarrassing when it's a constant and people have to babysit you during a get together."
Hopefully, at least a few men will come across this list and check themselves the next time they feel a fight or a boast welling up.
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It isn't all about physical beauty folks. As much emphasis is put on mainstream beauty standards, what matters the most is what is on the inside. In this case, the cliche is true.
You could have model good looks, the best home and cars money has to offer but if you treat people horribly and have no regard for others you will be the ugliest person in a room every single time. Oh, the other side someone could not be “conventionally attractive" but be the belle of the ball if they have an honest and caring heart.
Redditor PARADISE wanted to know what traits it takes for someone to go from hot to not in an instant for everyone else.
“What is one trait that could turns someone from a 10 to a 5?"
Just let people enjoy themselves...
“Gatekeeping/Smugness. I hate hearing that I'm too old to enjoy something that I honestly enjoy, it hurts no one. You don't have to enjoy it, but respect the fact that I do."
“Stop bringing up the fact that you only watch academy award winning films, you're brand name only, you're into the classic arts. I respect if you actually only like listening to classical music or you really are into these obscure award-winning films. That doesn't mean you're better than me or my interests." TheDemonLady
“it just ruins getting to know the person."
“Lack of sympathy. When I see someone brush off another person's pain, or just being plain hostile towards someone who obviously needs help (especially when they make some stupid remark) it is an instant ‘I hate you’ realization I have. It's sad, sometimes it just ruins getting to know the person.” sunflower_letters
“Having the ‘you're worthless and can be easily replaced’ attitude. If a person is going to treat you like crap what is the point of dating them when there are other people in the dating scene.” UnknownL_13
“Being involved in pyramid schemes." ClassyJacket
“A friend invited me to lunch once and I noticed she was asking me a bunch of personal questions about my life - am I happy in my job & relationships, is there anything I want to change, do I create goals etc."
“Then out of nowhere she pulled out a brochure and offered me 24 half hour life coaching sessions for $4,000. For the past 6 months she'd been involved in life coach training (clearly a pyramid scheme) where she attended lectures all across the US from this expert life coach of how to set yourself up with a coaching business."
“This girl was the total opposite of someone who had their sh*t together and I could tell she was sucked in by false promises of fortune & wealth. I wasn't attracted to her in the first place but after that lunch I started to feel repulsion." schaumannTalking Season 3 GIF by The SimpsonsGiphy
A little gratitude goes a long way...
“No appreciation for effort put in.” Bullisacooldude69
“For sure. As a bonus, those kinds of people will suck the life out of you if you keep trying to please them.” reppya
“Not respecting boundaries/aggressively trying to change your mind when you say no or say that something makes you uncomfortable.” tealdeer995
“The worst date I've ever been on ended with the guy trying to insist on driving me home, and ignoring me saying no. Like... why would I get in a car with a near-stranger who cannot take no for an answer? Yikes.” Phenomenomena
No one likes a litter bug...
“I flipped one day cause of this. A few years ago when on my final school day I saw this girl just chuck sweet wrappers accross the form room. Having a job as a hotel housekeeper I know what it's like to be the person who has to deal with these peoples sh*t.”
“On my way out the room I grabbed the litter off the floor shoved it into her handbag and continued past keeping hard eye contact, Ik it was very petty but it made me feel good knowing she had her own spilt lucazade and sweets to clean out her bag.” Miner142
911 Operators Break Down The Strangest Call They've Ever Received | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
Its just rude...
“Acting like their time is more valuable" outtsideyerhouse
“I hate when people are late. It ruins the mood for the whole date." BeleriandCrisesWhere Are You Ice GIF by OriginalsGiphy
Thats not exactly a personal quality...
“Adopting one aspect of their life as their entire identity. Example: I had a friend that made sure everyone knew they hated Apple as a company. If you had a convo lasting more than 5 minutes with this person, it would come up.” BoldAsCalls
Seriously, treat your service staff kindly.
“Being rude to customer service workers for no reason.” MissPaigeAlexandra
“That's 10 to 1, they said 10 to 5.” theLuminescentlion
“I blocked him."
“Being passive aggressive when I give an answer that they didn't want. Example: I was unwell, and at home. A guy I was dating unofficially wanted me to go over his place coz his parents were out. I said no, I'm sick. And then he proceeded to chuck a sad when he wasn't getting his way. I blocked him.” kellyphant
Please vote, in local elections too!
“Not voting. I don't care who my prospective partner votes for, as long as they actually care enough about their community and country to actually vote. I'd rather be with someone who's political views are the exact opposite of mine then someone who's too short-sighted to even care at all.” Breadflat17
“I can't take someone who isn't humble serious.”
“When there self centered and think their above everyone else because of their looks. It's shallow and I can't take someone who isn't humble serious. I've had lots of female friends I would have been interested in pursing a relationship with but they would show me how they treated other guys that were interested in them and expected me to make fun of the guy with her because he wasn't attractive enough to be looking at her, all it did immediately turn off because of how they treated others.” JTat79
“so I beat the sh*t out of him with my Doc Martens…”
“This is a 10 to 0 for me, but bigotry. I remember I used to think that this guy at my school was cute all through middle school, but then early on in my 8th-grade year, I heard him use the N-word and he acted so incredibly hateful, I just thought that he was the sh*ttiest person ever after that.”
“That, and one time he decided that it would be fun to call me trans-related slurs (since dressing punk apparently makes me trans???), so I beat the sh*t out of him with my Doc Martens. No hesitation, no regrets.” PunkRockFan05
“Person being hooked on social media and trends 24/7 person that can't live without phone in their hand constantly can't talk, can't laugh and can't form their own ideas, jokes and topics without internet giving it to them. becoming standart these days...classical startet ‘have you seen this?’ pointing their screen at you.” xdococ
This person needs a fellow music lover.
“It has to be that they don't like music. I am nearly constantly listen to music. I like almost every genre and like listen to anything once. I've met a couple of these people and it really disincentives from trying to get to know them. I can not wrap my head around it.” Grimm131
“Met a bombshell on the train once. We struck up a conversation. She was complaining that her family was mad at her for quitting her job so she could have more time to go shopping… she was also complaining about not being able to shop without money… she was not a bombshell anymore.” AllegedlyElJeffe
Just be good to each other and don’t dip…
“Racism/sexism/homophobia etc. Being mean just for the sake of being mean. Smoking/dipping (sorry I just think they're gross).” Specialist_Budget
"Lack of sympathy…”
"Lack of sympathy. When I see someone brush off another person's pain, or just being plain hostile towards someone who obviously needs help (especially when they make some stupid remark) it is an instant ‘I hate you’ realization I have. It's sad, sometimes it just ruins getting to know the person." Gianfranconi
These are certainly giant turn-offs and red flags. Best to move right along if you encounter someone with any of these toxic traits.
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Warning: This is adult subject matter. Escorting is an arduous job. And it is a job. Maybe not one we'd all love to do but it's work none the less, especially when you have to mess with someone you may not find the most "aesthetically appealing." The workers in the trade have an endless well of stories to tell us. And you know we're dying to hear. Our questions on this topic are bottomless.
Redditor dtorg29 asked Escorts of Reddit, how would you compare the bahavior of your attractive clients vs. unattractive clients? How does one handle a situation where maybe... you're just NOT that into them?
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.