There are many jobs I know I'm not built for, but could possibly pull off.
But I do have a certainty about a few.
Security.
I know I am out of my league there, as are many of us.
Security jobs are no safer than law enforcement.
Especially jobs in jails, hospitals and asylums.
I don't even know how much they make but I KNOW it's nowhere near enough.
Redditor KapyBaraAI wanted to hear from the people who work security jobs and are left riddled with nightmares, so they asked:
"Security Guards, What's Your Creepiest/Scariest Story?"
My hat is off to anybody who works security jobs.
Underpaid and life threatening.
Not a fun combo.
Slow Crawl
"Once we had a seemingly homeless guy crawl into a crawl space trying to hide in our casino. He suffocated and we found his body 5 days later after a smell and bio matter had appeared on one side of the wall."
GhostLandsTramp
Something out of a zombie movie...
"Used to work at a hospital that was mainly used for mental health. It had fully secured floors and it was our job to control combative patients. Many patients were waiting for felony trials, so lots of stories."
"The worst was we did a welfare check on a vehicle in our ER parking lot. They had been sitting there around an hour or so. The guy inside the car wasn't responding to our attempts to get his attention."
"Open his car door up and he was trying to dig his own foot off with a flat head screwdriver. He had gotten all the way down to the ankle bones on one whole side."
"We had to wrestle him into the ER as he was on a ton of meth. Seeing the ankle like that and the guy's almost feral-like state was like something out of a zombie movie."
Youfooool10772
In the Dark
"I was a security guard at an old folks' home that was essentially 2 buildings with a smaller building between them that acted as a lobby. One building was for assisted living and the other was palliative care."
"I was in charge of doing a security check of every floor, including the boiler room and basement. One night, I took the elevator down to the basement and hit the light switch, walking down the hall toward the boiler room."
"About halfway there, the lights started shutting off at the ballast, one after the other."
"Now normally I'm not in any way afraid of the dark, but on this particular night, I started on a mad dash back to the elevator before the lights went off completely because there were no windows in this basement, it would have been too dark to see."
"In the process of running, I realized that the elevator had lost power as well, so I got to just stand there in pitch black darkness until someone upstairs got everything back on again."
"All in all, I spent 23 minutes down there in the dark. 0/10, would not recommend."
DeusEx-Machinist
Voices
"Apart from the usual 'voices' you hear, shades you see, light cracks, creepy ol' buildings etc..
"One night I was passing by a playground park at around 3 am and spotted an adult male and what appeared to be a kid 5-6 years of ages both swinging in total silence on them swings you have for children. It was cold/rainy and both of them were poorly clothed for this type of year and especially weather. (Didn't seem homeless though)."
"Pretty unusual stuff to do at 3AM with a kid you would say."
"I had lots of different things cross my mind that moment so decided to take a closer look since I thought I was tripping.
"As soon as I got close enough for them to see me (still far from them) they just stared at me for a brief second & started running as fast they could, again without a single word spoken or voice/sound being made. Not sure where they ran because I had to scratch my eyes for a second time to check if I was asleep or not."
"It isn't 'creepy/scary' as the other stories in the comments but it was definitely a 'What the f**k bruh?' moment for me."
DavidKr98
In the Stall
"Got a call on the radio about something happening in the bathroom of our main building as there was a crowd forming. My brother and I approached the scene on foot since we were a walking distance away. We walked into the bathroom and I could see two very pale, blue veined legs in one of the stalls."
"A man died on the toilet. His wife and kids were there and apparently the last thing the woman said to her husband was 'Could you hurry it up you’re slowing us down.' It was one thing to see the body and another to see the look on the kids faces when they found out."
I will never not see these stories when I close my eyes.
On Patrol
"So I did patrols for a business district in my city. 4 buildings about 20 floors or so each. You have one partner at the desk watching cctv and one who patrols all buildings then they switch. Anyways it was like 3am, I'm on patrol. All buildings are basically locked tight."
I check to make sure each door on each floor is locked, then check the stairwell, can be really spooky since it's late, dark, and you're alone."
"Anyways I was on the like 12th floor or something, open the stairwell door and there's just a dude there. Didn't look homeless, he had a sleeping bag. I escort him out of the building, no fuss, but he also didn't say a word. No idea how he got in. My partner told me he ran into him in the same way once before."
uzasno
Staring Back
"I was doing security in a hospital at the time, decided to do the basement patrol with a flashlight for funsies, I was sweeping the light into the offices when I saw a semi-transparent man staring back at me from inside on of the rooms. Well I nearly shit myself before I realized I had caught my own reflection in the glass because of the flashlight."
Matt_East
Talons
"My dad used to work security guard jobs after he retired because he could. He was on-site overnight shift at a paper mill here in Oregon that's part of a small town and is at the edge of the Cascades."
"He noticed over the course of about three nights that all of a sudden all of the little critters he was used to seeing in the lumber yard were just... gone."
"It was weird, and quiet, and he was about to set out on his rounds when something made him pause and take a big step backwards into the cover of the guard shack."
"It's a good thing, too, because the Great Horned Owl's talons missed his head by about six inches. Those birds are f**king big, and they're territorial as hell. Dad said they stuck around just long enough to kill every living thing under about 30lbs in the area, and then they moved on."
slice_of_pi
The Ambush
"I used to patrol at night for a school district and one night we got a call from dispatch that there were some kids at the school that called them saying they were there and that they should send a guard. It seemed off since why would they self incriminate that they were trespassing."
"Regardless they told me to go check. While about halfway there my supervisor tells me over the radio to not go and that he’ll take my call."
"I stop into a gas station for some snacks and and am sitting the car when he gives me a update. My supervisor contacted the police and arrived with them."
"They found the kids hiding in the bushes with knives ready to ambush me. They were arrested but I couldn’t help but think what could’ve happened had my supervisor not intervened and it was shortly after that I decided to pursue a new line of work."
The_Galactic_Hunter
Watch the Cameras
"Guy told me he was going to use my glasses to stab out my eyes and that I should be careful dealing with guys like him because you never see them coming."
"Went to save the footage on our camera system and the cameras were in fact down due to an unrelated reason, so he coulda just murdered me and nobody would have seen that crap."
SadGruffman
Some jobs are the stuff of nightmares.
Good luck to y'all.
The convenience of flight comes with a few expected inconveniences. First, your seat is never going to feel like it's big enough for you. Second, the person either in front of or behind you is going to put their feet up or lean their seat too far back. And, third, you have to roll the dice with the TSA checkpoints.
They scan you, check your baggage, send you on your way. Installed as a form of protection, they do their jobs before you even arrive at the airport, keeping very obvious weapons and dangerous minded individuals from boarding your flight.
Most of the time.
Reddit user, False_Philosophy_412, asked:
"What’s the weirdest reason you were stopped by TSA?"
Most of the time, the agents are doing their best job to figure out what's on your body with a machine that may not be accurate 100% of the time.
It Already Has A Name
"Crotch anomaly".
"I was wearing normal joggers, nothing in my pockets."
"The lady behind me loudly said 'yeah it's called a penis'"- wot_in_ternation
Packing A Different Kind Of Heat
"TSA agent asked to search me with the back of his hand and I said 'okay sure'.”
"The back of his hand hit my unit and he said 'what’s that?' to which my only response was 'That’d be my penis.'”
"The TSA woman next to him started laughing at him and his face went pale before he said 'you’re clear, move along.'"- DarkSlayerKi
the leftovers no GIFGiphyKeyword: "Random"
"I have maintained a decent beard and have a darker skin complexion for a white dude."
"I am 'randomly' selected for a search or shoe swab every single time I fly."= batkevn
You can assume a lot of these are simple misunderstandings, agents doing their best to make sure everyone gets on the plane safely.
Still, it's got to feel bad to open up a loved one's ashes in a public setting.
Mad Respect For Your Wardrobe
"Not in the USA but in France, I got stopped on the way through customs by an agent who said something fast and aggressive-sounding in French."
"My French isn't great, so I just looked puzzled and said I didn't understand."
"The guy quickly beckoned another guy over and explained to him in rapid-fire French what was going on."
"The second guy turned to me and said 'He says your T-shirt is really cool and can you tell him where you got it?'"
" It was a Star Wars T-shirt that I got as a birthday present, so I couldn't even tell him where it came from."
"Luckily, he didn't arrest me."- 99thLuftballon
GiphySinister Teddy
"My niece has a teddy bear."
"She has had this teddy bear essentially since she was born."
"The doggo has bitten a hole into its belly, so we sew onto it like a lion head sticker, to keep its guts inside."
"One time we were on holiday visiting family, and she left it there, luckily I was staying a bit longer so I could grab it on my way back."
"An adult man with a teddy bear that had its guts torn open and fixed with a lion bandaid apparently looks pretty suspicious, so they shoved the poor guy into x-ray 3-4 times."
"She is still in ownership of the teddy bear and it is still in decent shape."- Gacsam
It's A Weapon For A Certain Type Of Person...
"I had a nutcracker in my carry-on."
"Like a legit, festive Christmas soldier nutcracker."
"It was a gift for my mom's birthday, she collects them."
"I was only flying in for 2 days for my grandmas funeral so didn't check any luggage."
"They stopped me and questioned me for 30 minutes."
"Kept insinuating I was going to use it as a weapon."= Pamplem0usse__
desperate housewives nutcracker GIF by HULUGiphySpider Truck. Spider Truck. Does Whatever A...
"When the Andrew Garfield Spiderman's first came out they did some amazing merch for them."
"My Stepdad is a HUGE Spidey fan, so I picked him up the corniest Spiderman film merch when in the US, one of those being like a whirling cement truck thing?"
"It was a big tonka sized thing and the only bag it would fit in was my carry-on."
"They stopped me and said 'Is that a spiderman toy?' and I took it out and showed them."
"They said it was the best thing they'd seen all day."- CharacterSuccotash5
No Smuggling Of Animals
"Glass jellyfish"
"Like those blown glass ones that are super cool at art galleries."
"I got pulled aside into a small room because they thought I was smuggling sea life. Was an interesting time."- Aelsar
When Things Look Like Other Things
"One time my dad had a few rocks of petrified wood in a bag, and had his phone charger right next to it."
"They almost went DEFCON 1 and did radio people to show up and act if it went down."
"But they opened the bag and saw it was rocks and a charger."
"They told him that it looked absolutely identical to what they had been taught a bomb looked like."- AudiieVerbum
Phone Charging GIFGiphyOne Last Look For Ol' Mom
"My mom passed away unexpectedly in California."
"I flew out to pick up her ashes and there was a terror alert at LAX."
"It was unreal; the military was in the airport with what looked like machine guns."
"I was out of my mind with grief and drugged to the gills."
"I was dealing with a bad back, and had to fly from California to a small town in Virginia for the memorial service."
"Security was heightened and everyone was being searched."
"I only had a small carry on and my mom’s ashes."
"When I got to the TSA, the agent wanted me to open my mother’s box of ashes! "
"I refused and insisted they x ray the box instead."
"It showed nothing inside ( duh- ashes) which convinced the TSA agent that it had some sort of cloaking device and was hiding a bomb."
"Again he insisted that I open the box that held my mom’s ashes."
"I was beginning to lose my sh-t."
"I called my husband who works in nuclear power and explained what was going on."
"He told me to tell the TSA agent to place a coin under the box and send it through the X-ray again."
"He did and thank goodness he saw the coin."
"Otherwise I would have been arrested for assaulting a stupid TSA agent."- Due_Judgment_9518
Agents Put Up With All Sort Of Sh*t...
"Previous TSA Agent here - not a passenger."
"This happened on like my 2nd day of training in baggage."
"A bag went off & I had to clear it."
"The owner, a gay gentleman, stood directly across from me, glaring thru my soul."
"I opened the bag & the very first thing in it was a plastic 'laundry bag' from a hotel."
"So I squished that bag, as we were supposed to do, and looked over at my trainer with this look on my face."
"He was confused & I just kinda shook my head like 'please don't make me do this'."
"The passenger had a smirk on his face at this point."
"Of course, I HAD to take it out of the bag."
"It was a dildo COVERED IN sh*it & they'd JUST used it before heading to the airport & didn't bother to clean it off!"
"I whipped it out so everyone saw, my trainer was hiding behind the x-ray ROLLING laughing, & I had to swab it to test it for explosives."
"Of course it cleared, so I put it back in the bag & the guy's boyfriend was standing by him at this point."
"Passenger says to me (all pissy) 'Happy now? Did you see what you wanted to?'"
"The bf is also rolling at this point."
"I just put the bag on the floor, scanned it thru the x-ray again & dropped it on the conveyor to go downstairs to cargo."
"My trainer was like OMFGGGGG...I SWEAR that NOTHING like that has ever happened before!"
"Of course the story spread quickly to everyone else & for a while, til people knew me/my name better, I was "THAT girl"- HalloweenFreak260
You Never Know When You'll Have The Craving...
"Not me, but my friend went on a family vacation."
'Her dad’s carry on gets flagged and TSA starts freaking out calling back up, and ask him to come over to them."
"As he walks by my friend he just says 'oh no, it’s the jerky'."
'This man brought 14 PACKS of jerky in his carry on for each day of the trip and TSA thought it was sticks of dynamite, and then had a good laugh at the suitcase full of beef jerky."- raccoonslikecheese
Beef Jerky Texfest GIF by H-E-BGiphyDon't Be Fooled By Their Sweetness
"M&M’s"
"They thought I was smuggling drugs."- hchristian13
Double Check What Counts As A Liquid...
"Not necessarily weird but Peanut Butter."
"We were going to Disney and we brought groceries to make sandwiches and they took it away."
"I wouldn't have considered peanut butter a liquid but I guess so."- PrincessLuma
Double The Trouble
"I have two stories."
"We were flying to the Caribbean for my aunt’s wedding and everyone got through alright except my uncle."
"He kept setting the machine off no matter what he did."
"He had taken out all of the change in his pockets, his belt off, his jewelry etc., and it still went off."
"I want to point out this was not long after 9/11 so security was a bit different to what it was when he last had flown."
"So when the metal handle thingy scanned him and it went off on his hip the TSA asked 'are you made of mental sir?'"
"In a surprised voice then my uncle just responded 'oh sh*t sorry mate, I didn’t know it would detect my metal hip joint!'"
"They had a laugh about it to each other and he was let through."
"Second story."
"I was coming back from Germany and the day before somehow I have come down with a severe throat infection."
" I lost my voice and could barely speak."
"The TSA were asking me all these questions and honestly it was pretty awkward because they couldn’t hear me despite how hard I tried, they took it well and asked if I was okay."- After-Land1179
sore throat GIF by Sign with RobertGiphyLet's Not Forget, They Do Have A Job To Do...
"I had injured my ankle so had it wrapped in some of that adhesive wrap tape, with a sock and shoe over it."
"Bomb dog alerted on the bandage."
"The TSA agents were extremely nice, got me a chair I could sit in since I was limping and we had a great talk about books while they were doing the routine check of my bags etc."
"They were extremely baffled and couldn't figure out why the dog alerted, so brought it back over to see exactly where it alerted."
"Once they figured it out we all had a good laugh and they made sure I made it safely to my gate."- WanderingWordsmith19
Talk About Bad Hair Day
"My hair."
"Every time I fly out of Logan in Boston."
"They pull me aside and pat down my hair."
"I finally got a black lady that told me that it's the thread in weaves and wigs."
"Sometimes they use something similar to thin monofilament wire."
"It doesn't always show up so they check to make sure it's just a weave that doesn't double as a bomb I guess?"- bballpixie
Ever been stopped by the TSA for something silly? Tell us about it in the comments.
Warning: Some NSFW content ahead.
Security guards do have an important job. Generally, they are tasked with securing the premises and personnel by patrolling and monitoring surveillance equipment. They might verify visitors, too.
It seems pretty simple, right? Well, you can trust that other people don't make this particularly simple job very easy. Let's just say that just about every security guard out there has a story involving human feces.
People shared their stories with us after Redditor Conscious-Cause-2917 asked the online community,
"Dear security guards of Reddit: What was the most f**ked up thing you've ever seen on your shift?"
"When I told him he had to leave..."
"Saw a guy s****ing into a bucket all the way at the bottom of our parking garage. When I told him he had to leave he tripped on his bucket and his butt had what I assume was blood all over it. It was horrible."
"He then picked up the bucket and put it in his van unsecured so I'm almost positive it later spilled in his van. I asked if he was okay and he said yes and just left."
KtheAvenger
I wonder if he had ulcerative colitis. An unfortunate condition. He might have been very embarrassed.
"I work for a private security detail that’s armed at most locations for a week I was posted at a small psych ward for the graveyard shift and was made to patrol the building and the areas outside the building just in case someone snuck out of their room and was hiding in the back."
This had happened a few weeks before one night I went outside for a smoke break and it was about 2:55 am around that time and as I was walking around I heard a loud ass scream so me not being curious, I took my ass inside and said f*ck that and an hour goes by and it’s time to do my patrol and what looked to be a tall ass creature was sitting next to fhe dumpster they had outside of the building."
"I grabbed my gun and then instantly it took off into the woods on the side of the building."
CHIEF_JUJU6101
That's unsettling!
I tend to stay away from all of the local wildlife, friendly or otherwise.
"Worked as a guard..."
"Worked as a guard at a condo where we had to watch an unstable and highly violent individual that was a menace to other tenants to report anything and get him evicted. We would stay on his floor and would take shifts in turns of 12 hours."
"One day as I was getting off my break and swapping with the on-site patrol guard the guy came out of his unit and threatened us. He would normally do this and at this point I had gotten used to it. This time however the other guard was closer to him than someone would be normally as he was going down the elavator and the man was closer to the elevator."
"As we ignored him and I sat down, the man swung a big right at the other guard just as the elavator came and darted for it. Before I could do anything I called 911 and immediately checked for the guard's pulse. Fortunately he came back to his senses quickly, suffering just a concussion."
"The guy was evicted from the site after police where called and I never worked there again."
mobeenshah
This sounds like it could have been soooo much worse! At least he was actually evicted.
"In public housing..."
"In public housing, there are a fair number of dead bodies that go unnoticed until they start to smell. In motels, there are a lot of domestic violence calls. One of the couples, usually the aggressor will attack security."
"Lots of sex workers and drug sales. This is universal in all types of motels, Motel 6 to the three star place. We aren't cops so there is little we can do other than call the cops."
"Another thing, we encounter way more out of place poop than we should."
Mysterydumper
This sounds like one dangerous assignment.
The "out of place poop" sounds like one of the more innocent elements of the job.
"Worked at a building..."
"Worked at a building that had an attached thrift store and saw a fire truck roll up to the entrance on the camera. Ran over to figure out what was going on, I had no calls or alarms going off.
"Turns out a morbidly obese customer had fallen off the toilet and gotten stuck between the toilet and the wall, and managed to call 911."
"The part I’d actually consider f**ked up was one of the firefighters pulled me aside after and said, 'We took a blanket off the rack to cover them up, but…you’re not going to want it back.'"
ChopperC110P
Probably not.
Hope you bought yourself a nice new one!
"I didn't see it..."
"I didn't see it but in our daily pass along there were warnings to be on the lookout for a woman s****ing in the stairwells."
fallingintothesky09
There's something about the privacy of stairwells that inspires serial crappers, and it's always really horrifying when you come across it.
"We had a guy..."
"We had a guy who was s****ing in our parking stairwell. Had to call the police on him to get him to finally stop."
KtheAvenger
See what I mean? These people are utterly relentless!
"We had a dude just out of his mind..."
"Worked security at a concert venue. We had a dude just out of his mind on some kind of wild stuff and had to pull him out and put him on the ground and zip cuff him."
"He put his face to the ground and got a mouthful of rocks and started chewing. Could hear all his teeth breaking and falling out of his mouth with sooo much blood. And he was just smiling like the joker."
"Moderate your drug use."
Live2Lift
This is horrifying.
Sorry you had to see that. Not something you'd easily forget.
"I work industrial..."
"A heroin OD. I work industrial, and it’s a whole mess of a story, but basically, this client employee ODed in a bathroom. During a power outage. While I was training a new guard on his first day."
MrLanesLament
Quite the first day he had.
Sorry you had to go through that.
The drug epidemic has had horrific consequences on society at large.
"I was patrolling..."
"Many years ago I worked armed security. I was patrolling at an abandoned refinery late one night when a silent alarm was tripped. I went to investigate it when a kid, no more than 19, drew down on me. I tried talking him down, but was unsuccessful."
"I tried so very hard. He was convinced that the copper he was trying to steal was worth more than his life. He shot at me and I returned fire. He missed me and I struck him in the head. Not one of my favorite memories."
UndeadTribe
Hopefully you've been able to have some therapy and find peace. Understandable that you don't like to think of it much.
"Someone had covered..."
"Someone had covered an entire restroom with feces."
Droodster
Okay, so we've graduated from stairwells to restrooms. Got it. Gross.
"Once opened an electrical room..."
"Former security guard. Once opened an electrical room to a bunch of swastikas and racist stuff graffitied on the wall in human feces. Only know it was human poop from the smell and the fact that there was a guy in there trying to finish his 'art.'"
ThatDamnedGuy
Okay, so now we've graduated from stairwells to restrooms and now electrical rooms. People will take their feces with them wherever they go, it seems.
While some security guards have quiet jobs where nothing ever happens (and probably get paid to sit around and watch Netflix), they are pretty much the minority.
Safe to say that people keep it... er... interesting wherever they go. Their feces might have something to do with that.
Have some stories of your own? Feel free to share them with us in the comments below!
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In this day and age we should just always assume we're on camera. Being camera ready is just a given when leaving the house. We seem to not acknowledge that there are people on the other side of the camera. There are people watching us and judging or just flat out laughing. Security people know far too many secrets and we need to treat the accordingly.
A Redditor wanted to discuss all the things witnessed by security when we all think we're not being watched by asking...Security guards that view cameras, what's the weirdest thing you've seen?
The Break room.
Not weird, but funny. We had a spate of purses having items stolen, usually when they were in the break room. So, we set a camera in the break room and waited. We caught an employee red handed waiting until one of the ladies weren't watching, reach into their purse and grab their wallet.
Then we got security to confront her. What followed was an epic shouting match as the suspect tried to deny that it was her on the camera and that we'd planted evidence. Yes, the IT guys have time in their busy schedule to make fake videos apparently. She was still screaming innocence when the cops carted her off.
Anyway, the crime spree did mysteriously end when she was fired. So, my guess is she was guilty. The camera also was useful in determining who on the night crew was watching porn on the break room kiosk machine, so that was fun also. They weren't fired, we just added a content filter and said maybe do that kind of stuff on your personal device when you get home. zerbey
Dirty Birds.
GiphyNot on camera but I've seen two birds doing it in the middle of the street.
On camera I saw a skunk go sailing past one of my cameras one night. No explanation for how it was propelled. flamedarkfire
Register on Fire....
I used to provide support for (insert big corporation)'s camera system. I've seen many things through my job.
- Register on fire
- Car being run through the front of the store
- Thief coming into the cash office and stealing many thousands of dollars at gun point while someone was counting the money (this one was hard to watch)
- Car crash that ended up with one of the cars flipping
- A group of people backing a truck through the front doors to steal the ATM cbosch12
The Display Window.
Not a security guard but handle the security systems at our animal control kennel. These events happened all in the same week: 1 lady came up to the kennel doors ~20:00 banging on the door laughing
Next night guy pulls gun out and stares down it before putting it back in his pants and walks into the bar next door
Same guy pistol whips gf the next night.
About 2:00 (same night as pistol whip) 3 random guys stand on our porch drunkenly playing with the kittens in our display window. One proceeds to tongue kiss the window.
Plus more but not in the same week as all that stuff. behannrp
No Thanks....
GiphyMy mom is a dispatcher and they have TVs for the cameras in the jail cells. One girl was touching herself and threatened to poop all over the place. This is why I would never work in a jail. BinkBonkers
Going Up.
Everybody lets their guard down in the elevator, especially if there's a mirror. I've seen people dancing, doing their hair/makeup, picking their nose, couples getting handsy, couples fighting, etc. Every now and then someone will remember the camera is there and just stare at me intensely until they get off. dr_ralph_daggers
They got fired.
Not a security guard, but once at a call center when I was working there, a guy and girl went one at a time into the handicap restroom. Security caught it on the cctv and when the guy came out after 30 minutes (they clocked out for lunch) a guard was waiting for them, together with one of the operations managers, their team lead, and a rep from hr.
They got fired.
"scary security stories"
I have been in security for over a year, and finally, someone asks a question about it on AskReddit. (I actually signed up after reading the old "scary security stories" Ask threads. And yes, I know about r/talesfromsecurity. Meh.)
The disappearing people are the weirdest. My facility has 100% exterior camera coverage, and i've got several I can move around as needed.
I will see someone I don't recognize walking in one zone, and then completely disappear when they should have entered the next zone over. I'll rewatch the footage several times at different angles and rule out the possibility they went inside or got in a car.
It's really an oddity. AFAIK, nobody has died here, though there have been deaths at some of the other plants we cover. (P1 is haunted at hell.) spiderlanewales
Riding High....
GiphyI watched my schools security footage and saw our 60 something year old janitor try and fail to ride the back of his mop bucket down the hall. CookieOfTheNorth
swiping in drunk....
Not a security guard, but I got in trouble when I lived in the dorms in college for swiping in drunk. I didn't remember it and was super confused about how I had gotten inside, and still got caught at the same time. When I had to meet with the dorm advisors for my meeting to discuss getting punished, they showed me the video.
I guess I swiped in well enough, before throwing up on the DA's desk, then walking into the elevator like nothing had happened, while the chick at the desk just sat their, jaw dropped, horrified at my cavalier attitude. Apparently she was too stunned to stop me and at that point they had to wait until the next day since I was already in my room. It was pretty awkward seeing her the next time I swiped in while she was working. I'd imagine security who saw the tape thought it was hilarious. firstheir
Dance....
GiphyHonestly at this point I am unfazed by the spontaneous dancing and singing. Especially when you've been through stuff like Gangnam Style where every dad tries the moves when he thinks he's alone.
The thing that stays with me is some guy picking up a dead hedgehog from the parking lot, stuffing it in his coat and having a dead bird fall out. Crazy stuff. Reddit
I see the problem.
Was working in a manufacturing facility that did injection molded plastic. One night about 2am one of the machines came on and started running all by itself. I could see it running on two of the cameras. Went to investigate and shut it off. Back to my desk.
Two hours later i see it come on again. Shut it off again. Turned the controllable camera towards it and zoomed in to watch.
About an hour later, just before staff usually starts coming in, i see the problem. There was a rat that was furiously clawing and gnawing at the panel. He managed to bump his butt into the start switch and kick it on.
They weren't allowed to leave the machines "ready to go in the morning" anymore. Shadowhenge
"looks like blue won this time."
I was filling out some forms in the security office with the two guards on duty. It was long after hours and very dark out. Heard a "What the F**k?" from a guard and looked up.
A whole bunch of college students, dressed in next to nothing, were whaling on each other with pool noodles.
The fight passed in front of the main doors, into the parking lot, and, finally, one group routed the others out of the area. Guards just sighed and went back to filling out forms. One commented offhand "looks like blue won this time." CynicalAltruist
About an hour later.....
My wife and her co-workers scheduled some fun "olympics" events for their team. One of them was "synchronized office chair swimming," where they choreographed routines of riding around in spinning office chairs.
About an hour later, her friend is chatting it up with security and they are laughing their asses off. They call her over where they are watching the security camera video of synchronized office chair swimming hilariously trying to figure out what these people could possibly be doing. Billionairez
Snog away....
GiphyOnce had a teenage couple snogging (making out) against the back door where I work, unaware I could see them. Managed to get their attention and they "moved" away but only by a couple of feet. I switched to the back door camera and in my innocence I originally thought the girl was bending down to do up her shoelace...... nope!
Managed to call for the manager over the PA system who came running because I sounded like I was crying (I was crying but with laughter). The look of horror on this poor lads face as the door opened and they were caught will stay with me forever!! The manager and I nearly had heart attacks we laughed that hard. Genuinely the funniest thing we had ever seen! MavisMuriel
The Breach....
I've shared this story before, but my first job out of college I used to work as a electrical engineer for a major security firm (worldwide global, with a lousy reputation), the job was designing cameras, junction boxes, security systems power calculations, etc.
One of my first assignments there was to help write a report about a security breach at a nuclear storage/research facility that was using a security system our company had implemented for them.
To summarize the breach, a group of octogenarian nuns broke into a secure nuclear facility and started painting the storage buildings in their own blood, and we had to review the footage to find out how they breached our security system. The footage was as gnarly as it sounds.
How did they break in? It turns out the site had spent millions on hiring us to design, test, integrate, and train them on a state-of-the-art security system of cameras, motion sensors, microwave detection systems, and fiber optic fence lining, only for them to turn most of it off to save on power/nuisance alarm costs. GlastonBerry48
She scurried away quickly after that.....
Obligatory not a security guard, but one time I was interviewing for a position at a restaurant. They brought me back into the office to get some paperwork done and you could see a feed of the camera at the back entrance of the store. We were just sitting there chatting while I'm filling out forms when suddenly a girl appears on camera.
She then looks around, drops her pants, and pees next to the dumpster. After she was done she looked around again, and then up, and then spotted the camera. She scurried away quickly after that. DwightCharlieQuint
WITH HIS TEETH!!!!!
Back when I was a security guard during my second semester of college I was checking the cctv cameras and this guy was juggling beer bottles the center was close so no one was supposed to be there. I grabbed my walkie and went to check him out when I got to him.
This man was drunk like hell and he was just juggling the bottles I asked him what he was doing and he said "hang one sec" threw all three bottles up and caught two in each hand then proceeded to catch the third one WITH HIS TEETH this guy was hammered and I was shocked and impressed I let him pass out in the break room because he didn't have a phone or wallet on him. And by morning he said thanks and left I wish I had the video to link. MisterMonarch
I hate him!
Not a security guard, but I kept finding my workstation tampered with when I came in for work (cables unplugged, etc.). I suspected my sociopath supervisor. He didn't realize I knew how to work the security system. What followed was a very amusing video clip of him waiting until everyone else was out of the room, furtively looking around, then reaching back and unplugging the cable on my system.
I set a still from that as the background on our videoconferencing machine on the day I quit. That fool was the reason I had my workstation fully Bitlocker encrypted and equipped with redundant hard drives. WardenWolf
Security Guards Share The Weirdest Thing They've Seen While Watching Security Cameras
Security guards are the unsung heroes of every mall, parking lot, and concert. They've seen some s**t, am I right? But what are the weirdest things they've seen? Keep reading to find out!
u/LightCaramel asked: Security guards that view cameras, what's the weirdest thing you've seen?
Furious rat.
Was working in a manufacturing facility that did injection molded plastic. One night about 2am one of the machines came on and started running all by itself. I could see it running on two of the cameras. Went to investigate and shut it off. Back to my desk.
Two hours later I see it come on again. Shut it off again. Turned the controllable camera towards it and zoomed in to watch.
About an hour later, just before staff usually starts coming in, i see the problem. There was a rat that was furiously clawing and gnawing at the panel. He managed to bump his ass into the start switch and kick it on.
They weren't allowed to leave the machines "ready to go in the morning" anymore.
Pool noodles
GiphyI was filling out some forms in the security office with the two guards on duty. It was long after hours and very dark out. Heard a "What the F**k?" from a guard and looked up.
A whole bunch of college students, dressed in next to nothing, were whaling on each other with pool noodles.
The fight passed in front of the main doors, into the parking lot, and, finally, one group routed the others out of the area.
Guards just sighed and went back to filling out forms. One commented offhand "looks like blue won this time".
Olympic sports
My wife and her co-workers scheduled some fun "olympics" events for their team. One of them was "synchronized office chair swimming," where they choreographed routines of riding around in spinning office chairs.
About an hour later, her friend is chatting it up with security and they are laughing their burr off. They call her over where they are watching the security camera video of synchronized office chair swimming hilariously trying to figure out what these people could possibly be doing.
We all hope it was dry.
Used to watch cameras at a high-end car dealership. Watched a guy dry-hump a Bugatti Veyron for 3 minutes before on-site security removed him.
You hope it was dry.
The shrugging his shoulders is the best part.
GiphyA few weeks ago someone walked into one of our unsecured banks that was left unlocked by whoever was working there last... The guy walked around like he owned the place, taking candy off the teller line counter, a stack of brochures... He snooped around for a good 5 minutes, every camera he saw he'd just shrug his shoulders and smile - ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I had the police dispatched, they arrived ~30 minutes after the guy walked out with his pockets full of candy and brochures.
What made it strange is that there were 2 officers that entered, guns drawn, and cleared the place. 10 minutes later, 8 more police officers arrived with a K9, sent the K9 through the entire bank, then had 5 other cops clear the building. I'm guessing they used the opportunity to train the boots because their response was way too heavy lol... Another 15 minutes go by and a bank employee arrives to secure the building and that was that. No way they could've caught the guy, the entire watch was inside the bank long after he left...
Another time we had a loose squirrel in one of our banks, the thing set off every motion alarm in the building and just wouldn't stop, had to set the entire place in advisory to stop getting notified! It was fun watching the little guy run along knocking stuff off all the teller counters though.
Snogging
Once had a teenage couple snogging (making out) against the back door where I work, unaware I could see them. Managed to get their attention and they "moved" away but only by a couple of feet. I switched to the back door camera and in my innocence I originally thought the girl was bending down to do up her shoelace...... nope!
Managed to call for the manager over the PA system who came running because I sounded like I was crying (I was crying but with laughter). The look of horror on this poor lads face as the door opened and they were caught will stay with me forever!! The manager and I nearly had heart attacks we laughed that hard. Genuinely the funniest thing we had ever seen!
Does this bird belong to you?
Honestly at this point I am unfazed by the spontaneous dancing and singing. Especially when you've been through stuff like Gangnam Style where every dad tries the moves when he thinks he's alone.
The thing that stays with me is some guy picking up a dead hedgehog from the parking lot, stuffing it in his coat and having a dead bird fall out. Crazy stuff.
[deleted]
Those darn nuns.
GiphyI've shared this story before, but my first job out of college I used to work as a electrical engineer for a major security firm (worldwide global, with a lousy reputation), the job was designing cameras, junction boxes, security systems power calculations, etc.
One of my first assignments there was to help write a report about a security breach at a nuclear storage/research facility that was using a security system our company had implemented for them.
To summarize the breach, a group of octogenarian nuns broke into a secure nuclear facility and started painting the storage buildings in their own blood, and we had to review the footage to find out how they breached our security system. The footage was as gnarly as it sounds.
How did they break in? It turns out the site had spent millions on hiring us to design, test, integrate, and train them on a state-of-the-art security system of cameras, motion sensors, microwave detection systems, and fiber optic fence lining, only for them to turn most of it off to save on power/nuisance alarm costs.
OMG....
Obligatory not a security guard, but one time I was interviewing for a position at a restaurant. They brought me back into the office to get some paperwork done and you could see a feed of the camera at the back entrance of the store. We were just sitting there chatting while I'm filling out forms when suddenly a girl appears on camera.
She then looks around, drops her pants, and pees next to the dumpster. After she was done she looked around again, and then up, and then spotted the camera. She scurried away quickly after that.
Weird....
Not a security guard, but I kept finding my workstation tampered with when I came in for work (cables unplugged, etc.). I suspected my sociopath supervisor. He didn't realize I knew how to work the security system. What followed was a very amusing video clip of him waiting until everyone else was out of the room, furtively looking around, then reaching back and unplugging the cable on my system.
I set a still from that as the background on our videoconferencing machine on the day I quit. That jackass was the reason I had my workstation fully Bitlocker encrypted and equipped with redundant hard drives.
"Lankyman".
GiphyI used to work at a secured Mental Health Unit ran by the state. Our cameras were down during this incident, but I still wonder if they wouldve helped explain anything... the whole thing gave me the willies. I was probably the creepiest thing I have ever had happen to me while working there.
I worked 3rd shift. It was a few nights before Halloween. I was tasked with sitting outside a juvenilles room- she was recently in the news nationwide for an unprovoked attack on a classmate. She blamed her actions on a fictional character who was predominantly featured online. We will call him "Lankyman"
The juvenille was in the process of getting ready for bed when I arrived. PJs on, she turned to shut her door and right before the door latched, she whispered to me, "Lankyman comes to see me every night."
I (internally) roll my eyes and tell her goodnight before settling into my squishy plastic chair and I open my book.
In the darkened hallway.
Of a 100 year old mental hospital.
A few nights before Halloween.
3 a.m. rolls around, and the hospital is quiet. Im still sitting on my chair outside juvenille's room. The halogen bulb of the light above me starts to hum. I stare at it. It intensifies.
POP
All the lights of the hallway go out, and for a brief second, I'm plunged into complete darkness. But I still hear the hum. What I first suspected was the swan song of a dying lightbulb... now resembles the sound of static.
The emegency lights pop on, and my co-worker passes by me on a census round. We chat a bit, before he brings up the sound. He askes if I hear it. Yep.
I watch him quietly open up patient rooms, looking for the source. We decide it's likely a clock radio-most radios struggle to connect to any station inside the hospital, I suspect ancient lead paint and asbestos may be to blame. However many patients thrive when they keep themselves on strict routines. So the hospital provides them.
About ten minutes of un-fruitful searching passes before we share a look of sudden understanding, and Im certain our thoughts were synchronized.
The power is out.
Ten seconds of complete silence pass between us. Bricks may have been shat.
I open my mouth to vomit forth the first of many "OMG, WTFs" ...but we silently decided that neither of us really wanted to know.
We never discussed the incident afterward.
BTW, the power outage was caused by a coworker driving back from lunch. Slid off the road into a power line. That was her second DUI that year. She got the first one while transporting patients. Weird place to work, it was...
Spoooooky.
Not a security guard and neither is the person in this story, but it's still sort of related so I may as well share it even though nobody's gonna see this prolly. It's a story my dad told me a little while back.
He once worked at a little dollar store, with a couple of other people. We'll call them Jake and Lisa. He mostly worked the register, and he and one of the other employees would stay at night and empty out the cash registers and stuff in this room in the back that had a bunch of screens in it where you could watch what the security cameras were filming.
This store had a lot of weird stuff happening in it though. At night, whenever all the customers left, the lights would start to flicker like in Stranger Things or something. And sometimes things would mysteriously fall off of shelves, too. Like, things that were super far back on the shelves with nobody nearby.
One night, my dad and Jake were in the back of the store emptying out the registers like always, and Jake said he saw something running by on one of the security camera screen things, but he couldn't tell what it was. My dad looked up, but he didn't see anything. They searched the store, and didn't find anything.
This happened a few more times within the next couple of weeks. Then, one night when he was in the back of the store with Lisa, they both caught something running by on a screen. Just a sort of tall, shadow-y humanoid figure. They went to search the store, and found that an entire shelf had been emptied, with everything that it held on the ground now.
They looked around for longer, and Lisa suddenly got scared and told my dad that she saw something running past them. They went looking for it, and again there was nothing. Then Lisa turned and saw a freezer door closing like somebody went in there. She ran over and tried to open it, but it was stuck. My dad tried, and he couldn't get it open either. They both tried it together, and they started to open it for a second, but it was suddenly pulled shut from the inside. So they used all their strength and finally got it all the way open, looked inside...
And it was totally empty.
It was pretty weird. My dad's always been a skeptic and doesn't really believe in ghosts or anything, but I don't know what he must've thought of all that.
That's not something you see every day.
When I was in high school, I would chat with the security guard sometimes (just friendly conversation). One day he's like, "Come watch this," and he shows me a video on the security cameras of the lunch room with kids eating.
Everything seemed normal at first, and then all of a sudden, someone comes in wearing a gorilla mask. He starts climbing on tables and walking around where people are trying to eat. Needless to say, they got in trouble lol.
That's definitely a choice.
GiphyI'm not a security guard but I walked into the office one morning with everyone crowding the computer with the footage on it and theres this guy who comes in and washes everyone's car once a week, and when the dude finished he hooked the hose up to a shower rig on his truck and took a shower. Right there in the parking lot. On camera.
That's so sad.
Saw a mother holding her son in a headlock.
Officers who reported on scene and recording prior to seeing that showed that the son punched his sister in the face twice, then the mom once. In order to get him to stop, she held him in a headlock.
Police arrive and after stopping the fighting, the son decides to just walk away and not listen to the cop, which very promptly got him arrested. He was asked for his name from the officer, and he responded "my d**k". Got all of us laughing. Seriously a f**ked up kid, but that was a bit funny considering every day is super boring and mostly nothing happens.