People Describe The Weirdest Thing That's Ever Happened To Them
Reddit user Key_Nectarine_1969 asked: 'What’s the weirdest thing you’ve done that you could only tell people anonymously?'
We've all done things, or in some cases, regularly do things that others might consider weird.
Even so, we often feel no shame or embarrassment and embrace how unusual these habits are, and take our friends teasing or laughing at us for doing so in stride.
Sometimes, however, we might not like to advertise some of our unusual habits or actions and make every effort to keep them a well-guarded secret.
As raised eyebrows are much easier to take than blatant judgment from friends and peers.
Redditor Key_Nectarine_1969 was curious to hear all the weird things people have done which they still keep under lock and key, leading them to ask:
"What’s the weirdest thing you’ve done that you could only tell people anonymously?"
The Devil [Dogs] Is In The Detail...
"All throughout middle school, there was someone who tucked unwrapped Hostess Devil Dogs into the toilet paper dispensers in the bathrooms, so that when you pulled some toilet paper out, the devil dog would fall out into your hand."
"We had to have an assembly about it."
"That person... Was me."- bejeweled_sky
Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time
"Was drunk at an escape room with coworkers."
"It was an extreme one where you are handcuffed the entire time."
"I decided in my drunken state that it would be bada** to dislocated my thumb and slip off the cuffs like the movies."
"It wasn't."
"We got kicked out, my coworkers were weirded out and I had to go to the hospital."
"I quit a few weeks later."
"White collar wasn't for me."- Grotesque-penguin
The Bread Of Heaven
"Stole over 1,000 wafers from church because I really liked the communion wafers & didn’t know where else to get them."
"I felt really blessed & cursed for a long time."- hALLIEcinate
catholic the exorcist GIF Giphy
Retracing Steps...
"Once I got off the subway in NYC and I was super early for an appointment."
"So I picked a random guy and just followed him on foot for like 30 minutes, pretending I was like a private detective or something."
"Always kept about a half block behind."
"He turned this way and that, and eventually went into a building I had lived in 9 years earlier."
"It was weird, and so was I."- OKsurewhynotyep
Hygeine Be Damned...
"I found a dead rat in a field when i was younger and kissed it bc I wanted to say goodbye."- qeleia
exercise push up GIF GiphyBad Decisions Have A Way Of Getting Back To You...
"We got super drunk and ate a ton of spicy food in New Orleans."
"Back at the B&B, the food started to come out the back side."
"I was sitting on the toilet sh*tting bricks of fire."
"At that moment, the booze decided to hang a u-turn."
"The trash can was out of reach and I couldn't risk standing up from the toilet for even 5 seconds."
"The closest receptacle was the bathtub."
"I managed to turn in such a way that I could keep shi*ting in the toilet while projectile vomiting into the tub."
"Both ended up clogged, and there was no plunger."
"I had to call the owner to explain that I had destroyed both their toilet and their tub simultaneously."- HoopOnPoop
Things Best Left To Professionals...
"My partner is weirdly prone to cysts."
"I had to drain a 3 inch cyst on her back (thankfully she had a dr's appt the next week), then multiple other little cysts on her legs and chest."
"I never told her to her face but that first giant cyst literally haunted me, the amount of pus and blood I saw....good heavens."- SleepyBiologist
uruguay spot GIF by sargentoPez GiphyAt Least A Lesson Was Learned...
"When I was walking to school one morning, I saw a kid (7-8 yo?) kicking a dog."
"I ran over & kicked the kid and asked him how it felt."
"He ran off and no one saw."
"Still not sorry."- sneezyailurophile
All Creatures Deserve Love
"I was extremely socially isolated as a child and tried to make friends with the coyotes who lived in the woods by our home."
'I caught one in a snare and fed and kept her."
"I wanted a friend."- letthetreeburn
That's What Friends Are For...
"My wife and her best friend pick me up from a frat party black out drunk."
"Then they helped me take a sh*t on the toilet, wiped my a** and then gave me a shower and put me to bed naked."
"Don’t remember any of it."- nc3100
Party Love GIF by Chris Cimino GiphyNot The Right Kind Of Manure...
"One time I went outside at like 2AM and put the garden hose nozzle into my butthole and sprayed some water into it, then farted it out onto the lawn."
"Basically gave myself an enema with a garden hose."
"I did this because I was bored."
"My neighbour saw me and told my dad (lived at home at the time)."- WaspsInMyGoatse
A Little Fantasy Now And Then...
"When I was younger I joined an international dating site that I figured was a scam."
"Put a black square as my picture and gave myself a fake name, and then looked through their users."
"And after about 10 minutes I had like a 100 messages."
"Most of them were messages telling me how handsome I was or how these women fell in love with me at first site."
"Now I knew it was a scam but when ever I felt down or got rejected for a while I would pop back on the site and read a few messages."
'Yeah it’s kinda cringy and probably pathetic but it made me feel better."
"I would just turn off that logical part of my brain that knew it was a scam for awhile and just pretend I was this popular and desirable guy."
"And it honestly got me through the day sometimes."- Demonking3343
dating app GIF GiphyIf anyone says they've never done anything they're ashamed, or at the very least less-than-proud of, in all likelihood, they are lying.
Or, more likely, they understandably want to pretend that it never happened.
Which might be a little easier than harboring a secret.
The Craziest Conspiracy Theories People Have Ever Secretly Believed
Reddit user streetancient asked: 'What is the craziest conspiracy theory that you secretly believe in?'
It's hard not to get worn out and dispirited by the seemingly unending conspiracy people continue to promote.
It should be noted that even the people who roll their eyes at those who believe these conspiracies might actually believe a conspiracy theory of their own.
More often than not, these aren't the sort of theories that could bring harm to others, though they still might not share their belief in these theories with others.
Even their closest friends.
"What is the craziest conspiracy theory that you secretly believe in?"
Or The Singers Just Wanted To Travel?
"Ireland began deliberately entering bad songs into the Eurovision Song Contest in the 90s."
"After winning it consecutively for a few years it began getting too expensive to host so they sabotaged their chances of winning it."- Houlilala
They Weren't That Cute...
"Build-A-Bear came out with a bunch of new toys that were all the same shade of yellow right after their Minion launch severely underperformed."
"They had stockpiled yellow fabric in anticipation of the Minion toys selling well and getting a big production run and had to find a way to use it all."- everlasting1der
Be Careful What You Ask...
"I believe r/AskReddit is actually a data farming operation that is being used to feed AI algorithms in order to produce more effective propaganda, social control mechanisms, etc… but what do I know…" - Sackerson-502
Search Engine Instagram GIF by GiflyticsGiphyBut Where Do The Beans Go?
"This is dumb, but my mother believes that the coffee grinder machines at the gas station are fake..as in they make a lot of noise just to make you think what your getting is fresh coffee."
"When it's 'grinding' the beans, you never see the beans move."
"We called the gas station and the employee said he doesn't know how the coffee makers work since a 3rd party refills them up or changes the flavors."
"I've called her crazy but slowly i'm getting sucked into it, simply because it's fun."- james_castrello2
Which Would Be More Embarassing?
"Paul Pierce sh*t his pants during the 2008 NBA Finals."
"He sat on the floor apparently injured until he was taken off the court in a wheelchair and returned minutes later completely fine."
"Sitting on the floor and leaving in a wheelchair stopped anybody from seeing his dookie stains."- pierremanslappy
paul pierce GIFGiphyNot Exactly Helping Anyone...
"Micro plastics are making people dumber."- blackbeautybyseven
When They Could Broaden Their Client Lists...
"That the weight loss industry sets people up to fail, because if their products worked they wouldn't have return customers."- Funky_chicken89
What's Important, He's Out There...
"It’s not the cameras: Bigfoot is blurry."- QuillDidNothingWrong
Bigfoot Sasquatch GIF by MOODMANGiphyThe World May Never Know...
"North Korea had an underground nuclear testing site collapse."
"Kim Jong Un then went to China."
"North Korea declared in their state news paper that they have perfected the nuke, and will no longer do any more tests."
"My theory is that Kim Jong Un went to China to ask for help fixing their nuclear disaster."
"Xi told him to deal with it himself and to stop playing with nukes."
"Kim came back to N.Korea like a beaten dog."- Initial-Finger-1235
What Lurks Beneath Midtown
"Occultist architect Ivo Shandor outfitted most of the buildings in downtown Manhattan with a specific alloy which, when activated under the right conditions, would summon Gozer the Gozerian."- Rogue_Wallet
A Connection To Brag About?
"This is dumb lmao, there is a man who lived and worked as a teacher where I'm from in NC."
"His name was Peter Stuart Ney."
"It was during the early 1800s, there's a local legend that lives on that this man was in fact one of Napoleon's right hand men, and fought alongside him even."
"It's been disproven apparently by the French government over the years, it's just funny how this guy was supposedly executed in 1815, just to show up over in NC as a teacher with the same surname and military expertise just 1 year later."
"They say he was a skilled fencer, and he had precise military knowledge even though he was just a teacher for the local school system."
"On his deathbed he supposedly confessed to being one Marshal Michel Ney, the 'Bravest of the Brave', according to Napoleon."
"Wild story but part of me just fully f*cking believes it's crazy enough to be true."
"Records indicated he had shown up in Charleston SC in 1816, just a year after this Michel Ney was executed in France."
"Idk, it's just a crazy story."- actuallyjayft
pizza emoji GIFGiphy...Aside From The Fact That Fairy Tales Are Public Domain...
"Disney only do remakes to retain copyright on the stories."- AndPlagueFlowers
Likely True For Some Of Them...
"All those crazy Boomers have lead poisoning."- octavialovesart
Bodes Well For Online Dating Too...
"The Empty Internet Conspiracy."
"A large part of the population of the internet and, thus, a large part of interactions on the internet are completely fake."
"Just faceless chat bots tooling around; generating social media posts, YouTube comments, and opinion articles on news sites."
"With the rise of AI generated essays and research papers, it's becoming easier to draw lines between those papers and how random news articles can read in a way in which a human would never write."- Karmit_Da_Fruge
Internet Netneutrality GIF by Ryan SeslowGiphyAs long as people keep these beliefs to themselves, and don't try to promote them, then they have every right to believe these rather dubious stories are true.
And who knows, some of these stories are so far-fetched, perhaps the only way they came to prominence was because they actually happened.
Everyone has secrets -- those facts about themselves that they're either ashamed of or want to keep to private.
Some secrets are harmless and not even meant to be a secret -- it just so happens no one knows.
Others are shocking and may even make people look at your differnetly.
Redditors have some shocking secrets of their own, and they are ready to share them.
It all started when Redditor Difficult-House6853 asked:
"What’s a secret that would change how the people around you look at you if they knew?"
What Happened To Just Say No?
"In high school I kept my DARE pledge in my stash box until one day when I ran out of papers and used my pledge to roll a J."
– DanManKs
"How DARE you!!!"
– OkVolume1
Time To Leave
"All of my friends and family are Jehovahs witnesses, they think I am but I plan to leave. 85% of them will shun me when I leave."
– Allegedlystupid
"I hear you, left evangelicalism 20ish years ago. It’ll be scary and lonely at first but as you become the person you were meant to be instead of the person they told you to be, you’ll bond with others over shared interests and build new relationships. It takes time, be patient, but it’s worth it."
– Mr_Lumbergh
I Don't Wanna Know
"People think that I’m a good listener, and that just makes them say things to me that they really shouldn’t. I’m only listening because I don’t want to be rude, not because I care. Don’t tell me your family secrets, please."
– A_Guy_From_The_ME
No Rhyme Or Reason
"A few years ago, I went to the zoo during their Halloween celebration month where costumes were allowed. I dressed up as a zoo keeper. I told people that the penguins were animatronic. That when the giraffes get sick we feed them to the lions. I told a group of children that scientifically speaking, snakes and apples are cousins."
– Binder_of_chains
"I love how bizarre this is."
– Pickingupthepieces
The Horror!
"I like Cheese Whiz"
– Peckerhead321
"Not going to lie, I put that on an apple cider donut once as a gag... sh*t was soooo good. Like... I finished it. And thought about more. Never did it after that, but I think about it every now and then."
– BludgeIronfist
The Travesty!
"I’m a Philadelphian and I think cheesesteaks are soooo f*cking stupid. They’re really not that good. It’s the most okayest sandwich and people around here will steal your catalytic converter if you don’t succumb to their Philly cult."
– asking_for_it
"Can't argue with this but as a "born in Philly" guy, I get irrationally angry when food places serve "Philly Cheesesteaks" and their default toppings are green peppers and onions."
– MarcusAntione
Social Media Is Beneficial!
"How normal I've felt since I started using TikTok. I've learned so many things I berated myself for and told myself I was a freak are in fact things many, many other people do. There's really no unique life, everyone has something in common with someone."
– LordyIHopeThereIsPie
Superhero! Or A Dog...
"My sense of smell is off the charts. I can usually tell if someone showers in the morning or at night by the way their hair smells. If someone ate a yogurt in an auditorium hours prior but threw out the container in the trash and I walk in on the other side of the room I can smell the yogurt. My memory is also sense-driven. I remember people by their voices or scent, not their faces, or if there is something different about them (odd gait, odd body proportions, etc). My touch memory is also weird. Did I lock the front door? I focus on my hand and go through what my hand has felt in the past 20 minutes and if the feeling of locking the door is there I’m good. I’m literally a freak and if people knew how much of their behavior/body-oddities/scent I actually have no choice but to remember, everyone would look at me like I’m a monster."
– crashmurph
Alien! Or A Frog...
"I’m from a different planet… I just don’t want to be stereotyped as having big eyes and skinny legs and green, I’m not anything like that."
– AdditionalCheetah354
"You just described a frog"
– MN_Hotdish
"Do you have a waggy tail and floppy ears? Do you lollop when you run? You may be a labrador."
– The_Queef_of_England
"This is fascinating! The closest thing is I don't read by letters, but by shapes. So if two words have the same peaks and valleys, I have trouble reading it. It's also why I can read upsidedown at the same speed as right-side up."
– hobbes8889
Net Worth
"I’m a janitor. But I’m worth over a million dollars because I own real estate."
– Flashy-Weather3529
"Thats awesome. I work in Wealth Management, and one of the most surprising things I have learned is how people seem as though they are poor, but are just humble people living a simple life. A guy I work with regularly lives out of his van with his dog, drives all over the US and Mexico but has millions. One of my favorite people to interact with because he is so kind and mellow."
– ItsbeenBroughton
Check The 'Yes' Box
"I’m a convicted felon. Nothing violent, a white collar crime."
– PhotographIcy600
"F*ck people who disrespect felons. In the face or the law, you have served your sentence and redeemed yourself. The moment you step out of jail, your criminal record should not interfere with your life in any way (unless special security checks). Everyone deserves a second chance, and anyone who thinks otherwise is an absolute idiot with no empathy."
– S0crates420
Woof Woof
"I get more of a rush out of training my dog than any experience I've shared with humans. Dogs just feel more intense and genuine. when you look at them you know they are there, present, with you. There's only a handful of people I can say have ever even come close to that level of understanding and none of them managed to achieve it without words the way the dogs I've worked with can."
– Avengerwolf626
"As someone who always had a dog growing up and not that many friends or people around, the connection you get with a dog is probably the most honest and pure form of love one can experience. I can't have a dog right now and I miss that connection very much"
– JoStormBorn
It's all about the love!
Do you have any secrets you're to get off your chest? Let us know in the comments below.
When it comes to certain behaviors, it's a gender thing.
Our different anatomy makes men specifically do things–like adjust their crotch area in public or just give up altogether and spread their legs while sitting on a subway train to make themselves comfortable.
But it's not just about moving a stuck testicle.
There are other peculiarities exclusively associated with men.
Curious to find out more about what else men typically do, Redditor Sythanytx asked:
"Guys of Reddit, what is one thing that all guys do?"
Here's some behind the scenes examples of what guys do concerning what's between their legs.
Adjusting Period
"Pretending to put our hands in our pocket when actually we're actually trying to untangle our underwear."
– 0MrSoap0
Hands-Free Method
"The side step to unstick your junk from your thigh."
– decorativesofapillow
Here's what happens in the men's room.
Respecting Boundaries
"Give each other space at the urinals. 9 times out of 10, the only time you will see 2 guys using directly adjacent urinals is when there's no other choice. Otherwise, the rule is every other urinal, and we're pretty good at it."
– callingallcomas
Focus On The Task At Hand
"The stare blankly at the wall when peeing at a urinals."
"Looking to the side is punishable by death."
– barronelli
These behaviors occur before accomplishing a task.
Sound Check
"Pressing the trigger on your drill a couple of times as soon as you pick it up."
– bisquickvic
The Pat-Down
"What my brother calls the 'guy check.'"
"We slap our pockets to make sure we have our wallet, keys, and phone."
– yamo25000
Maybe it's a guy thing.
Clearing The Path
"Kick rocks off of the sidewalk or down the street."
– blueduck9696
A Boulder Move
"enjoy dropping big rocks into water etc."
– Wetvv
Hear Him Roar
"One time I was in a walking path that crosses over a lake. Two little boys were running to the shore and back up to toss in rocks. I walked down to the shore picked up a bowling size rock and threw it off the bridge for them. I was a god in their little eyes. Lol."
– 10_Virtues
Selective Knowledge
"I have no idea wtf is going on in most of my friends personal lives... Known them for years."
– KingYondu
How Presumptuous
"Critically think if the next woman that talks to us is flirting with us or is trying to be a friend.... usually we fail anyways."
– Hack3rsD0ma1n
Here's a twist, if you will.
It's no secret men have an advantage with peeing while standing.
But here's my personal secret, and it's not something all men do.
At home, I pee sitting down. It's for a sanitary reason. I don't want to make a splash and have micro droplets accumulating on the bathroom floor, because, gross.
I wish my husband felt the same; but, I can't complain.
He always puts the seat back down for me when he's emptied out.
There is always a way to make money.
We can start to collect coin as early Pre-K.
We just have to be creative.
And who is more creative than a person who thinks they have nothing to lose?
Every school has a black market system.
Things are being sold and traded for that would shock us all.
Redditor AWESOMEKITTY7364 wanted to discuss the school system's biggest entrepeneurs, so they asked:
"What 'black market' did kids at your school run?"
I know a friend who sold pickles laced with vodka in high school.
She made a killing.
Mixtures
Mix Lab GIF by BrownSugarAppGiphy"Used to crush up warheads and mix them with sugar. Sold them by the straw with the ends melted. .50 a piece."
timelydemise13
'you got the goods?'
"I used to deal in whiteboard markers for teachers in high school. One teacher had a tendency to hoard them, leaving none for other teachers. I would take markers from him and provide them to other teachers in need."
"While there was no formal payment, I was given a little bit more leniency at times (e. g. Requests to leave the classroom for a moment etc)."
"Once the marker would start squealing on the whiteboard because it was almost empty, I'd get teachers giving me a nod as if to say 'you got the goods?' I'd then supply them with the marker color of their choosing (usually black)."
"It was actually a lot of fun, and I never heard teachers talk about my systems or chastise me for taking markers."
stoic4somethings
An Unfair Edge
"I was in elementary school when pogs were big. Everyone had cool slammers and stuff but I didn't have money for good ones. My dad made one out of 1/2' mild steel for me and used an engraving pen to make a simple pattern. Everyone was asking me where I got them from."
"I didn't wanna lose my unfair edge but i also knew i could make money. My dad had a big sheet of this 1/2' steel. I told them I was the only one who could get them. I sold them for 15 bucks a pop. My dad kept 10 I got 5. And thats when I learned what overhead was."
FNC1A1
Dress Code
"I went to a private high school with a strict dress code, ties, belt, etc. So I bought a bunch of ties and belts from a thrift store and ran a lucrative rental business out of my locker."
ccrawsh
"If you forgot your gym uniform more than once, you would get fined $5 to rent a uniform from the teacher or serve a detention. I would buy an extra set in the beginning of the school year of each size, and then rent them out/wash them myself undercutting the teachers 'fine' at a cost of $3. Very lucrative over my middle and high school years."
exorthderp
Got Pepsi?
Fail Diet Coke GIF by MOODMANGiphy"I used to sell coke (the drink) because they didn't allow fizzy drinks to be brought in."
Seventy0
Everyone loves a good fizz...
Copy-Sell
King Yes GIFGiphy"The only guy in the school who's family had proper TV channels used to tape wrestling events and rent them out."
221
Knock-Offs
"I have family in NY and would go visit a couple times a year back in high school. Every once in a while we'd visit Chinatown in NYC and I'd end up buying $100s worth of fake watches (Rolex, Tag, Gucci, etc) return to school and sell them for double than what I paid for them."
firkin_slang_whanger
"A lot of people still do this. They fly off to China, buy cheap knock-offs and sell them for a huge mark-up wherever they’re from. It’s big business here in the Philippines."
Mist3rTryHard
Currency
"My school used the metallic ends of pencils as a currency. Bronze was rarest, so it was the most expensive. Green was most common, so it was the least. We traded for erasers or pencil cases or a spot up in the four square line. Eventually got banned but we still operated with people acting as banks to keep the currency hidden and to keep transactions hidden."
Flavory_Boat50
Deals
"Pokemon cards we would hide under playground equipment and trade them because the teachers would take them if they saw them. So we always set up 'deals' in class and created a whole Pokemon card trading network."
immapengoon
"We did something similar in my school. We also bet cards on matches. That got shut down pretty quick. We didn't see anything wrong with it at the time. Ahhh, those were the days."
an_elaborate_prank
Bag Full
Black Friday Christmas GIF by TargetGiphy"At my school they too all sweets out of the vending machines and replaced them with healthy snacks."
"In the local town there was a sweet shop where you could buy a kilo of mixed sweets for £5, so every week I would go there and buy £1 of small paper bags and spend the Sunday night before school repackaging them all ready for the week ahead."
"Come Monday I would go into school and load my bag up every day selling the bags for 50p."
HeisenbergCooks
Kids are shady, yet diligent.
What kind of sneaky operations did your school have? Let us know in the comment below.