People Describe The Weirdest Thing That's Ever Happened To Them
Reddit user Key_Nectarine_1969 asked: 'What’s the weirdest thing you’ve done that you could only tell people anonymously?'
We've all done things, or in some cases, regularly do things that others might consider weird.
Even so, we often feel no shame or embarrassment and embrace how unusual these habits are, and take our friends teasing or laughing at us for doing so in stride.
Sometimes, however, we might not like to advertise some of our unusual habits or actions and make every effort to keep them a well-guarded secret.
As raised eyebrows are much easier to take than blatant judgment from friends and peers.
Redditor Key_Nectarine_1969 was curious to hear all the weird things people have done which they still keep under lock and key, leading them to ask:
"What’s the weirdest thing you’ve done that you could only tell people anonymously?"
The Devil [Dogs] Is In The Detail...
"All throughout middle school, there was someone who tucked unwrapped Hostess Devil Dogs into the toilet paper dispensers in the bathrooms, so that when you pulled some toilet paper out, the devil dog would fall out into your hand."
"We had to have an assembly about it."
"That person... Was me."- bejeweled_sky
Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time
"Was drunk at an escape room with coworkers."
"It was an extreme one where you are handcuffed the entire time."
"I decided in my drunken state that it would be bada** to dislocated my thumb and slip off the cuffs like the movies."
"It wasn't."
"We got kicked out, my coworkers were weirded out and I had to go to the hospital."
"I quit a few weeks later."
"White collar wasn't for me."- Grotesque-penguin
The Bread Of Heaven
"Stole over 1,000 wafers from church because I really liked the communion wafers & didn’t know where else to get them."
"I felt really blessed & cursed for a long time."- hALLIEcinate
catholic the exorcist GIFGiphyRetracing Steps...
"Once I got off the subway in NYC and I was super early for an appointment."
"So I picked a random guy and just followed him on foot for like 30 minutes, pretending I was like a private detective or something."
"Always kept about a half block behind."
"He turned this way and that, and eventually went into a building I had lived in 9 years earlier."
"It was weird, and so was I."- OKsurewhynotyep
Hygeine Be Damned...
"I found a dead rat in a field when i was younger and kissed it bc I wanted to say goodbye."- qeleia
exercise push up GIFGiphyBad Decisions Have A Way Of Getting Back To You...
"We got super drunk and ate a ton of spicy food in New Orleans."
"Back at the B&B, the food started to come out the back side."
"I was sitting on the toilet sh*tting bricks of fire."
"At that moment, the booze decided to hang a u-turn."
"The trash can was out of reach and I couldn't risk standing up from the toilet for even 5 seconds."
"The closest receptacle was the bathtub."
"I managed to turn in such a way that I could keep shi*ting in the toilet while projectile vomiting into the tub."
"Both ended up clogged, and there was no plunger."
"I had to call the owner to explain that I had destroyed both their toilet and their tub simultaneously."- HoopOnPoop
Things Best Left To Professionals...
"My partner is weirdly prone to cysts."
"I had to drain a 3 inch cyst on her back (thankfully she had a dr's appt the next week), then multiple other little cysts on her legs and chest."
"I never told her to her face but that first giant cyst literally haunted me, the amount of pus and blood I saw....good heavens."- SleepyBiologist
uruguay spot GIF by sargentoPezGiphyAt Least A Lesson Was Learned...
"When I was walking to school one morning, I saw a kid (7-8 yo?) kicking a dog."
"I ran over & kicked the kid and asked him how it felt."
"He ran off and no one saw."
"Still not sorry."- sneezyailurophile
All Creatures Deserve Love
"I was extremely socially isolated as a child and tried to make friends with the coyotes who lived in the woods by our home."
'I caught one in a snare and fed and kept her."
"I wanted a friend."- letthetreeburn
That's What Friends Are For...
"My wife and her best friend pick me up from a frat party black out drunk."
"Then they helped me take a sh*t on the toilet, wiped my a** and then gave me a shower and put me to bed naked."
"Don’t remember any of it."- nc3100
Party Love GIF by Chris CiminoGiphyNot The Right Kind Of Manure...
"One time I went outside at like 2AM and put the garden hose nozzle into my butthole and sprayed some water into it, then farted it out onto the lawn."
"Basically gave myself an enema with a garden hose."
"I did this because I was bored."
"My neighbour saw me and told my dad (lived at home at the time)."- WaspsInMyGoatse
A Little Fantasy Now And Then...
"When I was younger I joined an international dating site that I figured was a scam."
"Put a black square as my picture and gave myself a fake name, and then looked through their users."
"And after about 10 minutes I had like a 100 messages."
"Most of them were messages telling me how handsome I was or how these women fell in love with me at first site."
"Now I knew it was a scam but when ever I felt down or got rejected for a while I would pop back on the site and read a few messages."
'Yeah it’s kinda cringy and probably pathetic but it made me feel better."
"I would just turn off that logical part of my brain that knew it was a scam for awhile and just pretend I was this popular and desirable guy."
"And it honestly got me through the day sometimes."- Demonking3343
dating app GIFGiphyIf anyone says they've never done anything they're ashamed, or at the very least less-than-proud of, in all likelihood, they are lying.
Or, more likely, they understandably want to pretend that it never happened.
Which might be a little easier than harboring a secret.
Everyone has a different relationship with hygiene.
While some people wash their hands every time they enter a new room, and never leave home without a bottle of hand sanitizer, others might not care where their hands have been as they bust open a bag of chips.
However, one thing that both parties have in common is that over time, they might have developed certain practices related to their own personal hygiene that are unique to them.
Helping them either make sure their hands, teeth, and body are as clean as can possibly be or help them get things done as speedily, if not as effectively, as possible.
"What is the peculiar hygiene habit that you've developed?"
So Nothing Gets Overlooked
"When I shower I slowly rotate in a circle like some type of vertical rotisserie chicken."- RootsRoots55
To Help It Come Out... Maybe?...
"When I sit down to poo, I sort of sit in a way that spreads my cheeks as much as possible."- Myzx
Clean Before You Clean
"I wash my hands in the shower before I touch my face."- plasticIove
Happy Wash Hands GIF by Mecklenburg CountyGiphySurprisingly Overlooked
"I spend an extra minute in every shower making sure I thoroughly clean my feet."
"Not weird to clean feet."
"But definitely weird to remind myself every day 'gotta wash them trotters'."- ingoodtime23
Don't Overlook The Hard To Reach Places
"I see a lot of elderly people in the hospital.'
"99% have toenail fungus."
"I keep anti-fungal shampoo in the shower next to a toothbrush and scrub my nails and in-between my toes every morning."- Resilient_bookworm
Nothing Says You Can't Have Fun In The Shower...
"More of a fun one, but related to hygiene."
"When in the shower, and I'm lathering up my body with my soap/shower gel, I ensure a nice seal between my arm and body."
"Then I keep my fingertips against my hip and extend my elbow, creating a huge bubble in the gap between my arm and body."
"Then I blow it to see how big a bubble I can blow before it pops."
"Yes I'm a 35 year old man."- Angry_Cornflake
Extra, Extra Dry
"Squeegee myself with my hands in the shower to get most of the water off before I towel dry."- clydeswitch
Wash Up After Cleaning
"After using a sponge or cloth from the kitchen sink, I wash my hands with soap."
"These things are just nasty, imo."- knuckleduster12
A Few Steps Ahead
"Taking showers in the middle of the night."
"I have insomnia and one night I decided, what the hell, I need to shower when I get up anyways, so I'll get it out of the way now."
"Maybe it's placebo, but as soon as I got out of the shower and got into bed I slept like a baby."
"Now if I can't fall asleep or wake up in the middle of the night I'll go take a shower instead of laying in bed trying to force myself to fall asleep."- SunnySilver8
Relaxing Homer Simpson GIFGiphyBeware The Excess Spray
"I try to close the toilet seat lid before flushing because I saw a video once where green 'bacteria' gets shot out of the toilet."- LrckLacroix
Their Expert Hiders
"Full body tick check before bed every night."
"I spend a lot of time in the bush and lyme sucks."- cat_named_virtue
The Proof Is In The Pudding... Flavored Toothpaste
"My friends think it's weird that I time myself brushing my teeth so that I brush for the full 2 minutes."
"Joke's on them though, I have the nicest teeth in the friend group."- selloboy
Brush Colgate GIFGiphy...Seems Kind Of Dangerous...
"I like to shower in complete darkness."
"Turn off the lights, block the bottom of the bathroom door with a towel or my clothes if I have to, maybe put some music on if I'm in the mood, and just have a nice, long, hot shower."
"It's incredibly relaxing, almost like a little nap with how warm it is and all the darkness."- Adventurous-Till2924
Should That Even Matter?
"As a straight guy, washing my a**, apparently."- fromkentucky
It Can Get Out Of Control
"I trim my armpit hair every time I trim my beard."
"It’s like a buzz-cut under there."
"Deodorant is more effective that way."-
One would like to think that everyone follows the most basic rules of personal hygiene without needing to be reminded.
At the end of the day though, what's important is doing whatever puts your mind at rest that you are as clean as it possibly can be.
Still... How can you really tell how clean you are if you shower in the dark?
People Divulge The One Secret That Would Change The Way People Saw Them If They Found Out
Everyone has a secret–a shameful history, an embarrassing tendency, or a life hack they want to keep to themselves.
Whatever it is, secrets can either completely destroy one's reputation because of a regretful past or make them venerated for an admirable act done anonymously to avoid praise.
These mysterious qualities keep you from fully understanding who your friends really are.
Do you truly really know your boss, the person you've looked up to all your life, your child, or even your spouse?
What would happen if you discovered something about them that wasn't intended for you to find out?
Curious to hear from strangers online, Redditor Difficult-House6853 asked:
"What’s a secret that would change how the people around you look at you if they knew?"
If you think you know everyone in your little community, you have another think coming.
Former Group Member
"I was in a cult for a couple years."
– Sleepy-Spacemen
The Escape Plan
"All of my friends and family are Jehovahs witnesses, they think I am but I plan to leave. 85% of them will shun me when I leave."
– Allegedlystupid
Complete Christening
"Our house was the first one on our street to be built. My husband and I had sex in every single house on our street while they were under construction. I imagine our neighbors would look at us differently if they know we’d f'ked in their house before they even had a chance to."
– MediocreMerkin
The discussion people have with themselves can be startling.
The Passive Confidante
"People think that I’m a good listener, and that just makes them say things to me that they really shouldn’t. I’m only listening because I don’t want to be rude, not because I care. Don’t tell me your family secrets, please."
– A_Guy_From_The_ME
Inner Dialogue
"My intrusive thoughts. Holy sh*t sometimes i surprise myself on how gnarly i think in just a second."
– MaybeNot_MaybeYes
All The Vulernabilities
"How incredibly terrified I am nearly all of the time. I'm not confident, I don't think I'm in control any more, I don't think I can do this. And still, here I go"
– Bron_3
Let's play trivia with the people you think you know well.
Lawbreaker
"I’m a convicted felon. Nothing violent, a white collar crime."
– PhotographIcy600
Easily Detached
"I have a very hard time liking/growing fond of people, even after knowing them for years. I could just drop all contact with them and not miss them at all. Was like this even as a child, all the way to now…"
– Infinite_Ebb_2856
More Than Meets The Eye
"I’m a janitor. But I’m worth over a million dollars because I own real estate."
– Flashy-Weather3529
Everyone is entitled to keeping secrets.
But has anything good ever come as a result of revealing something you've kept close to yourself?
I have. Coming out while I was in college made me feel like a heavy burden was lifted once I received an outpouring of love and support from friends and family.
What changed was not only their perception of who I truly was, but also how I viewed them.
I regretted having underestimated them–thinking they wouldn't embrace me for who I am as a person–when the exact opposite wound up happening.
I do acknowledge that everyone does not have the same experience.
I've been very lucky and I count my blessings for all the love surrounding me in my life.
Everyone has insecurities.
Be it speaking in public, wearing beach attire, or even one's profession, very few people don't have at least one topic of conversation that is bound to make them red in the face.
Some people are pretty adept at hiding their discomfort and can manage to persevere through their phobias with their dignity intact.
Others are not so lucky and often go to great lengths to hide their insecurities, only to make them even more apparent.
"What screams 'I’m insecure'?"
The Wisest People Are Those Always Willing To Learn
"When people are unable to admit that they don’t know something."- slimytoads
not listening no way GIFGiphyOther People's Success Are Not Your Failures
"Mocking someone else's achievement."- SuvenPan
Never Pick Yourself Up By Taking Others Down
"Belittling others."- Term-Haunting
"Always talking badly about others and trying to make them look weak/bad."- Pildith
The Simpsons GIF by MOODMANGiphyMaybe Honesty Isn't Always The Best Policy...
"When you're quick to be 'brutally honest' with others, but have a meltdown when someone does it back to you."-eF240uKX52hp
Not As Funny As They Think...
"People who tear other people down as a joke but then get mad when they get it handed back to them."
"Clearly they either aren’t joking or are too sensitive to be dishing out sh*t."- babythrottlepop
Being On Top Adds More Possibilities Of Falling Down...
"Trying to one-up people in every conversation."- Flanky_Bwai
"One upping people in conversation."
"If I tell you I had a great trip to X place, I don’t need to hear about your better trip to someplace else that’s ostensibly 'better'."- I_Am_The_Grapevine
kristen wiig television GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphySome Things Speak For Themselves...
"Constantly saying what kind of person you are."
"If you were, you wouldn’t have to tell us."- ubereddit
A Little Contrition Goes A Long Way...
"Never apologizing."
"Making excuses and even twisting the facts but never apologize."- SuvenPan
But Enough About Me, What Do You Think Of Me?
"Constant projection and self-serving compliments."- nhabz
Look At Me Kiki GIF by The Bachelor AustraliaGiphyWhat Are They Even Trying To Prove?
"Revving your vehicle loudly every time you pass another person."- msnmck
Superior By Association
“'You will address me by my husband’s rank!'”- Psychological-Stay16
PDA Much?
"Elaborate Instagram and Facebook posts declaring love for one’s significant other over and over and over."- jbmaun
Happy Married At First Sight GIF by LifetimeGiphyAlways Needing Validation
"People who can’t think or feel anything without being told that it’s okay to do so."- Diesel07012012
It's sad that so many people think the only way to overcome something which makes them embarrassed or afraid is by embarrassing or demeaning others.
When being open and honest about your insecurities might, instead, result in your finding common ground with others.
And making new, lifelong friends in the process.
We've all kept secrets from others, even from our nearest and dearest.
In most cases, we keep hidden information that we know might hurt them, believing that they are better off not knowing.
Other times, it's keeping a truth about ourselves that we hope will never become public knowledge.
Things about ourselves that we might be ashamed or embarrassed about, but haven't yet found the courage or willpower to speak to anyone about.
No matter how painful keeping it to ourselves is.
What dark secret are you hiding from everyone?
The Truth About Family
"Last Christmas I learned my Sister and I don’t have the same father and are technically half-sisters."
"My sister's biological father tried to start a relationship with my mom that resulted in a pregnancy and ultimately didn’t work out."
"That biological father is dead now but I didn’t probe any further about his identity or how he died in case it was something traumatic for my mom to remember."
"So she raised my sister as a single mother at my grandma's house in the 80s, then she met my father, and they started dating, and it worked out because they got married in the 90s, moved into a new house, and a short time after that I was born."
"She told me never call my sister my half-sister and just pretend all of this doesn’t matter because she’s my sister and I’m keeping it that way, and if anyone asks about the 10-year age gap I just tell them 'it’s a long story'."- queenofspoons
Adoption Papers
"I found my adoption papers a few years ago when I was looking for a copy of my birth certificate."
"I know my birth mom, I just never had a relationship with her."
"My maternal grandmother took me in in 2002, I never knew she adopted me I just knew that one day I ended up living with her after telling her one day I don’t want to go back home lol."
"I also found the letter that my mom wrote as to why she was giving me up."
"That one really hurt."
"My grandma is really the sweetest person ever i’m forever grateful for her."
"But I just wanted to say now that I’m older I understand why my mom did what she did and believe it or not we actually have a cordial relationship now lol."- kcolxx93
Framed
"When I was a teenager, I worked at a novelty tourist shop near me."
"Being the idiot that I was, I stole a wad of cash from the store. It was $100 in ones."
"I told nobody, but they knew it was missing."
"Right about the same time, a coworker who was always trying to get me fired was telling someone she got about $100 in tips from her other job."
"They ended up firing her because they didn’t trust that it wasn’t her."- sdr79
Two Secrets Of Shame
"When I was young, probably around age 9 or 10, I was walking home with my dog from a house around the block when he cut the corner and walked diagonally through the yard of this super mean old lady who live at the end of your street."
"She was in her yard at the time tending to these really fancy-looking rose bushes she had growing in beds along the border with her neighbor."
"My Dog was a very friendly golden retriever who didn't even really come near her and certainly didn't do anything threatening, but she sprayed the f*ck out of him with some kind of insecticide or other chemical she was using on her roses."
"I ran back home with the dog and hosed him off."
"He coughed a bunch, but seemed otherwise fine."
"I didn't tell my parents because somehow I thought I was going to get into trouble for letting the dog walk in her yard."
"I'm glad I didn't tell them, though, because I decided that night to sneak downstairs, out the half-bath window, and down the street to her yard where I cut down every g*ddamn rose bush I could get my hands on."- squeamish
At Least It Wasn't Intentional
"I had an IBS attack once and had to violently sh*t in a church grounds behind someone’s car."
"Used underwear to wipe too and left that there."
"Not proud."- gotanycrisps
Eating Disorders
"I've struggled with disordered eating for at least a decade."
"It ebbs and flows."
"I know it's unhealthy, but the toxic part of me loves the feeling of being empty."
"Several years ago it was really bad."
"I was at my lowest weight ever, I had brain fog, difficulty breathing."
"When I started eating again my stomach would get really bloated even if I only ate a small amount."
"I gained weight in the last year or so and my depression and anxiety got really bad for a while."
"My family thinks I don't want to spend time with them."
"However, it was easier on me mentally to just stay home."
"I can feel myself slipping back into my old disordered eating habits unfortunately."- Miss_Skywalker_
If These Walls Could Talk...
"My wife, her mom and I bought a house about two years ago, just from talking to the neighbors I’d gathered that the family who lived here before had a daughter that was mixed up with the wrong people."
"We had some random person knock on our door at night saying he needed gas, we are down a long driveway, no way you’d randomly walk up to OUR house to ask for help."
"I think he was looking for the people who used to live here."
"And then another time Sunday morning making pancakes for the family I get a knock on the door, and it’s 4 sheriffs officers saying they received a 911 call that hung up and it was from the house."
"We don’t have a landline and I assured them my wife and 2-year-old did not make any call."
"They mentioned a name of the previous occupants, and I let them know we moved in earlier this year and they seemed ok with that and left."
"Anyways I was doing some yard work and struck up conversation with the neighbor."
"He saw the police cars and asked what was up."
"I told him the situation and he just goes 'oh yah that family was messed up, the cops were probably being cautious considering the shooting'."
"'What shooting', I ask."
"He kinda looks at me with a sad worried face 'the shooting in your house'."
"'Wait, what?' I say truly baffled."
"He then proceeds to tell me that about two years before the father in the house confronted his daughter and boyfriend he didn’t like and shot and killed the boyfriend in the house."
"Our state doesn’t have a disclosure law so we never knew."
"I was blown away, all the strange happenings kinda made sense now."
"He said the friends of the victim had kinda terrorized them for a while cause the police were taking so long to press charges, slashed tiers, midnight fireworks odd shit that the neighbors hated."
"I was shocked but just said 'that’s crazy, but hey do me a favor and never tell my wife or MIL about that, they are a little spooked by things like that'.”
"So the TRDL is that we live in a murder house and I’m the only one of my family that knows."- dirtbagmagee
Family They Have Never Met
"My brother and I did a 23 and me."
"We discovered we have a half-sibling, same father, who is older than us."
"I messaged them but no reply."
"Since the half sibling is older, it was during my father’s military career."
"Which was short lived because he got a dishonorable discharge that he hides from his family still."- Successful-Remove738
"My grandpa was stationed in Okinawa, Japan during the Korean war, while in the Marines."
"He hooked up with a woman there, and she got pregnant."
"So, I have a Japanese aunt and a few cousins, in Japan, whom I’ve never met before."- Cardinal270
Grief Upon Grief
"Not a huge secret in comparison to some of these answers, but I feel the guilt of it often."
"After my fiancé passed, I napped all the time for over a year."
"My aunt was calling me one day and I just denied her call, went back to napping."
"It was my aunt calling because my grandma, who was very sick with cancer, wanted to say happy birthday a day before my birthday."
"Grandma died the next day."
"I should have picked up the damn phone."- JulietAlfa
For What, Though?
"I owe the bank 100k."- markoshenov
It's Ok to Be Busy
"I never have 'other plans' that I just can't cancel."-_GGfighter_·
Not everyone needs to know every single detail of your life.
With this in mind, though, always know that there is always someone who is willing to lend an ear and a helping hand.
Even a shoulder to cry on should you need it.