I've been blessed with many memories. So I have a deep well of hilarity to tap into. Where to begin? Movies, tv shows, school, job, the list goes on...
Bob?
Dance Reaction GIF by SpongeBob SquarePantsGiphy"The dude who just asked how much deeper the ocean would be if we removed all the sponges."
"Mom whyyyy???"
"When the toddler danced in on her dad's BBC interview. And proceeding to knock out books on her dad's bed, which was made as if it was a desk. And the baby strolling in, finished with the mother SLIDING her way in and hustling the kids out. The toddler shouts "Mom whyyyy" as she is towed out. Love this clip."
I'm Broke
"This needs a smidge of setting up and is rather non-PC... i'm disabled and rely on a wheelchair to get around anything but very short distances. Chatting with two friends over voice chat online... discussion turned to buying something... I replied with "can't afford it, I'm broke."
"Instantly, one of the other two guys said 'of course you are, that's why you're in a wheelchair' 5 minutes later we stopped laughing. not a word was spoken in that time... we just fell about barely able to breathe properly... even now, a couple of years later we still laugh when the story is told."
- SDLRob
In my face...
"In a boardroom in New York for a high pressure meeting with a dozen executives. A finance pricing exec had previously messed up a contract with the Siemens corporation and was getting hammered not to screw up this current deal we were working on. He had enough and announced "I'm getting really tired of having Siemens thrown in my face!". I absolutely lost it while all the others sat straight faced. Still makes me laugh."
Happy Hour Drinking GIFThose are cute moments. But can they top the best "Golden Girls" episodes? I'm not so sure. I mean, just pick a Rose story and you'll be destined to smile.
Thank you Alex
darrell hammond snl GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy"Celebrity Jeopardy on SNL. One of the categories was Japan-US Relations. Darrell Hammond as Sean Connery read it as "Jap-anus" relations. I laughed so hard for so long I thought I was going to pass out."
Louder
"The announcements for vocal talent on the Mario movie."
"The reveal that Toad would be played by Michael Key, which was followed up by the reveal of Seth Rogan as Donkey Kong was the greatest moment in human history."
Pleased to... what?
"That Bondulance tweet always gets me going. (Not that I am on Twitter!) It's funniest in its original tweet format. https://mobile.twitter.com/thepunningman/status/539714048246697986?lang=en
- The bond's Name. James Name.
- Pleased to… what?
- Bond Name's the James.
- Are you alright?
- Bames Nond's having a stronk, call a Bondulance." PositiveRequirement4
Not so Sturdy
"One time in high school, while on the phone my friend decided it would be funny to try and knee me in the butt but to his surprise my skinny, boney butt is a lot more sturdy than his knee, I felt nothing, he on the other hand was on the ground with a swollen knee, in pain unable to walk or get up from the pain."
People Share Dark Secrets From Their Profession The Public Doesn't Know | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
Sometimes secrets are an integral part in making magic. Though many professions withhold truth from the public, some things we'd prefer to know. Do we really...What a day...
"When I was about 13, I was at the dinner table with my parents, grandmother and little brother (11). While eating, my bro kept farting every 20 seconds, and me being the child I am I was laughing like crazy! It came to a point where I couldn't breathe so I asked him to fart quietly."
"I then heard a small squeak coming from his chair and I lost it. Once I calmed down, I asked him to go to the toilet to fart. He did so and ripped the biggest piece of echoing thunder I have ever heard. I was choking on my steak and took my food upstairs. What a day."
Swiss?
30 Rock Cheese GIFGiphy"One time I went to a buddies house because he texted me to swing by. Came in about 20 minutes, and he was passed out on the couch with a half eaten block of cheese on his lap. To this day 9 years later it's still the funniest crap I've seen."
- TR3V89
I love Jude...
"My friend was struggling to remember the name of a movie for several hours during in a hang-over pizza breakfast in bed. We're in the middle of a completely different conversation and she blurts out "Jude Law is a disabled man!" After the laughter subsided we were finally able to guess the movie from that clue."
Party Pooper
"Buddy of mine crap himself while passed out at the bonfire at a party (theater kids, they get wild) he drank and smoked more than he could handle, likely because he wanted to fit in. When someone came and told me I dropped to the floor and laughed for a good 10 minutes."
"Once we composed ourselves we cleaned him up ( I disposed of the crap) and put him in bed. When he asked why he was wearing different clothes in the morning we told him he had puked on himself and never said another word. Guy was a real party pooper."
Under the Table...
"When my daughter was two years old she loved playing hide and seek. I'd count to ten and then come looking for her, and I'd make it fun by searching around even though I knew she was behind the curtain or behind the couch because she'd be giggling a bit. I walked into the kitchen and loudly say "now where oh where could (my daughter) be?" and then I heard "I'm under the table."
- kitjen
Captain America Lol GIF by mtv"Yup. Only did shrooms twice. First time, felt nothing, probably got ripped off. Second time, my cousin and I spent probably four or five hours just sitting in his basement laughing our butts of at absolutely nothing. I don't remember why I started laughing, but I remember we both tried to express to each other that we had no idea what was so funny, and then that seemed like the funniest thing ever and I was laughing even harder."
A doe...
"When I was a kid a doe wandered onto my street and my friend and I were staring at it. My friend sneezed and scared the hell out of it and it bounded face first into the side of an RV, spazzed out trying to get back up with it's legs flailing in every direction, and bounded away in comically high leaps. I laughed so hard I fell over and skinned the hell out of my elbow."
A Good Grin
"When I discovered I had accidentally left the vibrator in my laundry room that my girlfriend had given me as a joke. Most people leave a socks not vibrators. It went missing but I noticed some old ladies in my building grinning mischievously. I told my friends they laughed hysterically with me."
2 MINUTES!!!
"My family was all getting together at my parents house. Me and one sister were already there, our youngest sister just arrived. Older sister goes upstairs to get something, leaves the rest of us in the kitchen. I hear the younger one go "I'm not really sure how to open this..." and the next thing I knew, I'd been shot point blank in the chest with a champagne cork."
"Sister walks back into the kitchen to both me and my mom on the floor in tears laughing while our other sister is panicking holding and over flowing bottle dripping everywhere. "I WAS GONE FOR TWO MINUTES WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED" It was another few minutes before we could explain ourselves."
Out of Class
Teacher Shame GIF by Lesibu GrandGiphy"In biology class in high school, a friend nudged me and pointed to the skeleton in the room."
"Someone had placed its pointer finger in its mouth and positioned the other hand on its pelvis, like where a belt buckle would be. I could not contain my laughter and no one else thought it was nearly as funny as me. My teacher was not pleased and I was almost kicked out of class."'
I love cheese. I almost choked to death laughing on cheese. One hasn't lived until a near-death "cheesing."
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