Whenever I visit clothing stores, I make it a point to fold the clothes I unfurl. That is apparently my downfall as a customer.
Because of this, fellow customers often peg me as an employee and always ask me questions like where the bathroom is, or if the store has certain sizes left in stock.
Umm, no, I don't work here. I'm just a responsible customer. As you were.
Many of us make assumptions about other people just by looking at them. Who knew we were so presumptuous?
Curious to hear the experiences of strangers online, Redditor lilmizzvalz asked:
"What do people assume about you, based on your appearance?"
People often misinterpret moods based on how someone looks. That's unfair, wouldn't you say?
"That I'm caring and supportive. I have a resting nice face."
"That I am always mad. Nope just dissociating and staring off into space."
Not Meaning To Be Mean
"That I'm mean. I have a resting mean face for a dude I guess. Also lately it's worse because I'm bigger now. I don't really notice how my face appears but apparently, I seem angry when I'm looking at stuff."
"'You should smile' and 'are you ok?' comments followed me from busboy, waiter, bartender my whole career."
When it comes to measuring intelligence of others, some people are just way off.
Hard To Live Up To Expectations
"That I'm clever. People keep saying it to me, but I'm dumb and that sh*t is hard to live up to."
"I have glasses."
Eyes Full Of Wisdom
"I apparently have something similar going on mixed with looking like I know sh*t, because people come up to me in public and ask about directions, bus schedules and stuff all the time. Like, they'll deliberately avoid other people to ask me. Including when I'm abroad and should look a bit out of place."
"They assume I have an intellectual disability. (And also that I'm deaf, since I'm not able to speak.)"
"No, I am a person with two university degrees who happen to need a wheelchair because of a nasty neurological illness."
People don't always look their age. Some don't even act their age. But these Redditors have gotten their fair share of wrong guesses for their ages.
"That I'm 15."
"I'm 38 and a doctor. 'Did you just finish school?' EVERY DAY."
"This thread was depressing to read as I am 38 but often get mistaken for 50. I hate y'all and your youthful beauty."
Some people are typed out as certain types of people with just one look.
Watch Your Tone
"That I have a southern accent. Not one stranger has ever suspected that I have a 'New Jersey' accent (Born and raised in New Jersey before moving south)"
Not A Biker
"That I ride a Harley and/or work on them. I'm bald with a long goatee and tons of tattoos, but I'm in IT for a living and don't ride motorcycles at all."
Like others have expressed in the thread, I've also been accused of having "resting b*tch face."
You know, that neutral expression where you're not smiling the one time you're not in a situation where you have to be "on" for other people?
Yeah, that one.
If someone's resting face comes across as unfriendly, well, perhaps it's best not to upset them by asking them what's wrong all the time. Just sayin'.
People who talk smack about others are often viewed as rude individuals.
But sometimes, they are taking the hit for not exercising tact. The truth is, they might be verbalizing about a situation we have secretly thought about but keep to themselves.
When it comes to reserving judgment about people and their situations, many of us can relate to this. It is what separates us from those who aren't able to keep their observations to themselves.
"What's something you secretly judge people about?"
People seeking validation in excess on the internet are met with criticism.
Social Media Portrayal
"What part of their life are they posting on social media."
"My husband has a friend who has a psycho girlfriend that posts really personal sh*t online. Like, she sent her boyfriend some racy photos and he didn't 'react like he should have' so she shared them online with a comment about how she thought the photos were sexy and he must not find her attractive anymore. I was embarrassed for her. She also likes to make up stories about him hitting her then update a few hours later that she's sorry and she lied and he didn't hit her. And these people are in their 30s with children and still acting like that."
"What they say about their kids in social media. I get that being a parent is hard and it's okay to talk/vent/be real about that online, but sometimes people cross the line and talk about their kids as if they're not real people, just because they're not grown and don't have a Facebook account. People should imagine what their kids would think of they were all grown up and reading your internet history. If you think they would be hurt by what you said, don't post it."
Headphones are there for a reason. But these offenders are not considerate enough to use them.
"People who use speaker phone for music or conversations in public places. I hate it."
"My roommate uses speaker at all times. We'll be watching TV and he will literally answer the phone and talk on speaker. One time had the audacity to say me and this other guy wouldn't stop talking and he couldn't hear his gf. Same with music too, he'll play some some music in the middle of whatever I'm watching. Annoying as all f'k."
"My old roommate would use speaker to talk to her family at college so I joined the conversation the entire time, she constantly told me to 'shut the f'k up' in front of her mom, so I said 'then dont use speaker dumba**.'"
Views from entitled people might say the following:
"How they treat janitors/custodial staff and whether people leave more of a mess than they should because 'it's their job to clean up after me.'"
Former Flat Earthers Explain What Finally Made Them Come Around | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
"How snobbish another person reacts to someone else's situation. I. E. When someone finds out information about another persons wage, job, family situation, living situation, etc etc etc, and making a comment on it."
Do you ever feel like your ears are burning? Yeah, it's probably because of people like these:
"People that gossip to me about other people. I always wonder what they say about me behind my back."
"One of my favorite office tricks is to gossip relentlessly, but to keep it at least 90% positive. People can and do find out that I've been going around, behind their backs, and spreading rumors about how great they are."
"Obviously it creates a nice work environment, but by being willing to gossip, people are more willing to tell me things that aren't necessarily public yet."
What annoys me about the things people do have more to do with my growing impatience after having lived in New York City for over a decade.
Customers in fast food joints not knowing what to order after being in line for a sufficient amount of time grates me.
The increasing convenience of mobile ordering has been the best thing to come out of the pandemic that has kept me from losing my marbles.
To provide a productive therapeutic environment, therapists are trained to "meet people where they're at."
That means accepting a client and their struggle regardless of how alienating the specifics may be. That acceptance allows a safe space to form where the client can verbalize their feelings and responses, and understand their internal states more closely.
But therapists are humans.
Sure, they're ideally well-trained humans especially skilled at noticing certain thought patterns and human tendencies. That said, they do have knee-jerk initial responses to the people around them.
They then mindfully work around those responses to continue to provide good care. But nonetheless, the occasional moment of shock does come about every now and then.
Judging the Context
"Therapist here. To piggy back on what others have said, it is highly unlikely for me to have moments where I judge my clients."
"It happens sometimes, but I'm able to shut down those thoughts quickly in my head and return to being present for the people I see."
"People are so incredibly complex that my judgment wouldn't have any meaning anyway and it doesn't have a place in our work together."
"I will admit though, something that does get me feeling a little salty is when I have a client's parent that attempts to sabotage the therapeutic relationship I have with their child..."
"...or pulling them out of therapy entirely when some of the things we talk about challenges some potentially unhealthy family dynamics."
"I don't feel anger toward the parents, mostly I feel bad for the kid."
Out of His Wheelhouse
"When I was under age, I got caught with a drink on bourbon street and got a minor in possession."
"I was telling my therapist about it, and said that the police caught me with a 'hand grenade' in New Orleans."
"He didn't realize that a hand grenade was a type of drink, and it was funny to watch him try to process that his patient might have just casually told him that he had been caught with a fragmentation grenade."
"He took a big long pause, and said, 'where did you even find a grenade?'"
"I realized the misunderstanding quickly and corrected him. But for a moment he definitely was thinking 'holy sh** how do I deal with this?'"
Sometimes, it's Just Too Much
"I'll never judge someone, especially someone who has come to me hurting. The world is full of a**holes already."
"That said, I found out while I was still doing internships that I'm very uncomfortable working with abusers, so I don't do it."
"It took one recount of a man describing in detail how he was strangling his wife up against a wall and making her look at the beam he was gonna hung her from."
"I got out of the office and told my supervisor I just couldn't do it. (It's worth mentioning, I was just an observer back then, I didn't act as the therapist, my supervisor was."
"She wanted me to be prepared to work not only with victims, but with victimisers as well)"
Don't Get Pulled In
"Actual therapist here. I get moments like that sometimes, but by the next session, I've usually reached a place where I'm more ashamed of myself for judging than I am surprised by my client."
"For example, people with symptoms of borderline personality disorder can really elicit reactions like that for me."
"One day they might be saying that they really value someone's friendship, and the next they might be ready to cut that person out of their lives completely over a disagreement."
"Or they'll be working on expressing more emotions one day, and the next day "I'm never talking about my feelings again."
"My first (internal) reaction is usually 'Dude, what??'"
"But then I take a step back and remember that this type of behavior is the exact problem they're trying to solve. And that there's probably really important experiences that shaped them to respond in this way."
"Okay, real therapist here. I got one. Some of my clients are SHOCKINGLY BAD at giving themselves credit, holy sh**!!"
"Like they might get a nearly straight A GPA in a brutal major while battling depression, or overcome years of phobia and get behind the wheel again, or write a literal novel..."
"...or raise a kid as a single parent with low income, or build new relationships after being burned, or cope with OCD well enough to hold down a job."
"And they'll talk about themselves as if everyone on earth is better than them, as if their accomplishments are worthless."
"And I know it's because of depression or anxiety or another condition, but I'm often stunned by how differently I see them compared to how they see themselves."
More of an Ongoing Concern
"Not a judgment - you kind of train your brain not to judge, because you are seeking to understand and help. When you do those things, you can't simultaneously judge."
"We could all use a little more of that in real life, I suppose."
"I'll share this though. I do feel concerned about this recent phenomenon of young people I worked with self-diagnosing, sharing, and identifying very closely with mental illness..."
"...as if the pendulum quickly swung from 'never, ever share your feelings' to 'OMG, you're depressed? All of us are too!'"
"Life's challenges can be tough and they don't need a scientific-sounding label to be valid and real. You are not your diagnosis. We can find validation and support in healthier ways."
Not Judging, but Stunned
"I'm a licensed psychologist and I'll tell you I've never judged my patients. The world is so full of judgement and it's my job to objectively look at someone who's suffering and offer them empathy and a path towards healing."
"The one thing I've judged is the situations that people survive and continue to live their lives."
"I've worked with torture survivors, survivors of genocide and famine. I've worked with people whose entire villages were wiped out because a war lord wanted the water well that was sitting in the town."
"It always gives me pause in terms of the anguish some people face and their resilience. So if I have one message, it would be in the words of RJ Palacio, 'Be kind for everyone is fighting a hard battle.'"
"Well, I quit my last therapist because I made him cry uncontrollably. He tried not to, but he just couldn't hold it back. I felt guilty and won't see him anymore."
"I think he may have lost a child before. I described watching my aunt grieve over her son's body. I felt so much pain losing him, but was explaining how watching my aunt was dramatically worse."
"The details about her is what made him lose it. I could tell he was reliving something inside his own head."
North Carolina Girls Win Big As Judge Strikes Down School's Sexist Uniform Requirement As Unconstitutional
A strict uniform policy that required a North Carolina middle school's girls to wear skirts to school every day was struck down by a federal judge.
They ruled that the antiquated policy was a constitutional violation of the equal protection clause.
In 2016, the American Civil Liberties Union, the ACLU of North Carolina, filed a lawsuit against Charter Day School in Leland on behalf of girls ages 5, 10 and 14.
Their suit claimed that the skirt requirement was an academic distraction, made students feel cold and inhibited them from performing physical activities.
The oldest student, Keely Burks, asked for help from the ACLU after her right to file a petition against the skirt requirement was taken away.
"I created a petition to ask my school to change its policy that says girls have to wear skirts to school or risk being punished."
We're proud to represent Keely in a lawsuit filed last year. #InternationalWomensDay https://t.co/yEi73m0UUZ— ACLU of North Carolina (@ACLU of North Carolina)1489022520.0
On Friday, Judge Malcolm Howard in the Eastern District of North Carolina ruled the "skirts requirement causes the girls to suffer a burden the boys do not, simply because they are female."
The judge also rejected the charter school's reasoning for the dress code.
They alleged it promoted "traditional values" and cultivated "mutual respect" between boys and girls at the school.
It took a court order to force a North Carolina charter school to accept the simple fact that, in 2019, girls shoul… https://t.co/ufTt6o2XOy— Global Fund forWomen (@Global Fund forWomen)1554062411.0
The school argued the lawsuit in 2016 with a written statement:
"CDS's dress code is not discriminatory and is clearly written out such that parents and students know what is permitted."
The school also argued they did not have to comply with Title IX, a federal law that protects students in educational programs that receive federal funds from gender discrimination.
A parent of one of the students involved in the case, Bonnie Peltier, was satisfied with the judge's ruling but balked over the length of time it took.
Peltier told NBC News:
"We're happy the court agrees, but it's disappointing that it took a court order to force the school to accept the simple fact that, in 2019, girls should have the choice to wear pants."
When another parent, Erika Booth, was alerted to the lawsuit, she was relieved in knowing she wasn't alone.
"Once I found out there was a lawsuit, I was delighted," she told TODAY Style, last year.
"I felt like the rule was unfair to girls all along. When my daughter … found out she had to wear skirts the first day of kindergarten, she cried."
It took long enough for us to get here, didn't it?
A charter school in North Carolina loose a law suit for a dress code were girls were never permitted to wear pants.… https://t.co/w8vGZUAtDp— Nadine Liberty (@Nadine Liberty)1553981068.0
@APSouthRegion @AP Is it still 1952 in North Carolina? And what does this word ‘forcing’ mean??— JMS (@JMS)1553880980.0
@APSouthRegion @AP YES ! About god damn time this happened this is just plain sexist forcing girls to have to wear… https://t.co/HoD6JSASt0— Howling wolf (@Howling wolf)1553881389.0
@APSouthRegion "Traditional" values are one thing, being Victorian is another. Girls can still represent the schoo… https://t.co/L2b4Tz4VQT— Natural Flirt Gamer (@Natural Flirt Gamer)1553892999.0
@ACLU Fifty years ago, when I graduated from high school, this was the rule. Fifty. Years. Ago. https://t.co/uGSANAicsM— Mary Ann (@Mary Ann)1553871308.0
@ACLU Unreal. I fought for that on OSU campus 50 years ago!— Robertson Work (@Robertson Work)1553870703.0
The ACLU celebrated the momentous victory.
Today’s ruling vindicates our young clients. This policy reflected antiquated stereotypes, intentionally sending th… https://t.co/SJDQjhPyL1— ACLU (@ACLU)1553870551.0
Welcome to 2019, Charter Day School.
Make room for the girls, cause we've been waiting a very long time.
Sometimes, if you want a job done right, you have to do it yourself.
That must have been what Ohio Judge Michael Bachman was thinking on September 4, as he ran out of his courtroom in full magistrate gear to personally grab a woman, bring her back to his courtroom, and sentence her to jail for three days.
According to Inside Edition's report, the woman, after learning she was "30 minutes late to file court papers," was yelling at the top of her lungs. She was so loud that Bachman, who was trying a case in a nearby courtroom, could hear the commotion and came barreling out into the hallway.
You can watch the disturbing spectacle below:
As she walked away, Bachman ran after her, grabbing her by the shoulder and redirecting her to his courtroom.
Once back in the court, he sat her down in his jury's box, then sentenced her to three days in jail for "disrespectful and disruptive behavior."
At this point she tried to escape, but was dragged into custody by a team of five deputies.
Twitter couldn't believe what they were seeing:
Crazy ass forcefully got her back into the court room (chased her and held her), only to charge her with condemning… https://t.co/o9qXzS8D0D— 🐝 (@🐝)1537247918.0
Y’all!🤦🏽♀️ Ohio judge oversteps (I use overstep because this power wasn’t his to abuse even though he did) and bat… https://t.co/tHu5BN8aey— Melanie😎🤕🤨, #BedBoundBabe, Spoonie Style Guide (@Melanie😎🤕🤨, #BedBoundBabe, Spoonie Style Guide)1537229020.0
@NewPossBlog chases a black woman down a hall way and arrest her for i think yelling in the hall way . it was a dom… https://t.co/4SZNIrVfaJ— شبلي محمد (@شبلي محمد)1537242597.0
@wishful02667386 @JohnBotos @Angenette5 @Local12 That’s horrible. She was there seeking help and got man handled in… https://t.co/LmWOU2n1cE— Pisceblu ♓️ (@Pisceblu ♓️)1536792480.0
While Bachman did have his defenders, this Twitter user broke down exactly why his actions were so egregious:
@Angenette5 @Local12 I sincerely hope that nobody defending this judge is in any position of authority. He’s a judg… https://t.co/25jnI6hZDY— Rob (@Rob)1536961710.0
Fortunately, after the incident came to light, Bachman was forced to resign for being "out of order' in his own courtroom.
Strong Arm of The Law ... Dude! You have people for that!!! — Ohio Judge Forced to Resign for Being Out of Order in… https://t.co/PaP5m6fLtI— STACEY - FISAgate brings down the House (@STACEY - FISAgate brings down the House)1537220047.0
On the orders of a second judge, the woman only had to spend 2 nights in jail before being released.