This is the brilliant note a sassy seven-year-old schoolgirl left for her dad in her lunchbox – telling him "I not etting my sandwish because I hate hummas."
<p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-rebelmouse-image">
<img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yMjc2ODY0NS9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYzNTU5NDA0NH0.OG0SScN3HSOt74MCtlluIrCk2K_8hKvgVSMS4CTaEoM/img.jpg?width=980" id="0b88c" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="e38b27c2a24d78ef0e5374575b98a8b1" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="1463" data-height="2600">
<small class="image-media media-photo-credit" placeholder="Add Photo Credit...">Peter Simson /SWNS.COM
</small>
</p>
<p>Pete Simson, 37, asked his daughter Pearl, seven, what she thought about her packed lunch that day, once she had returned home from school.<br></p><p>She told him she'd left a note in her lunchbox - and he thought it might be a cute thank you note, or a lovely drawing.</p>
<p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-rebelmouse-image">
<img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yMjc2ODY0Ni9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY0MTQ1MjIzNn0.RjDsTbfKiKpyTITTOSHsEmbRpgbClrNTaBq21j7Mfbc/img.jpg?width=980" id="528b5" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="b36e400ad0237c26a1b2514d871006e9" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="1463" data-height="2600">
<small class="image-media media-photo-credit" placeholder="Add Photo Credit...">Peter Simson /SWNS.COM
</small>
</p>
<p>He was left laughing when he found a note addressed to "DAD" which said "I NOT Etting my sandwish because I hate hummas."</p>
<p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-rebelmouse-image">
<img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yMjc2ODY0OS9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY0ODcxNDQyOX0.whFYj8-KLEXjBuy-g01Fzb-mIKqtcusWYOv0ZzzPzek/img.jpg?width=980" id="bdbcc" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="a54f03336eab29948efc6592fbb28801" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="1463" data-height="2600">
<small class="image-media media-photo-credit" placeholder="Add Photo Credit...">
SWNS Peter Simson /SWNS.COM
</small>
</p>
<p><strong>Proud dad Pete, from Bristol, England, said:</strong> <br></p><blockquote><em>"Well clearly, she wasn't a fan on the sandwich I made her! This was after school this week."</em></blockquote><blockquote><em>"I asked her if she liked her packed lunch and she told me there was a note in the lunchbox!"</em></blockquote><blockquote><em>"I thought it might be a thank you or something but as soon as I saw the disheveled sarnie in there I knew something was amiss."</em></blockquote>
<p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-rebelmouse-image">
<img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yMjc2ODY0Ny9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY2OTMwMjY5MX0.sPv6qztSN0poUy9L1R0DwuU-n-lw3f2mzffe0CIktFQ/img.jpg?width=980" id="60fb9" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="d864545d270ed93ed95276bfbe4761d8" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="2600" data-height="1558">
<small class="image-media media-photo-credit" placeholder="Add Photo Credit...">Peter Simson /SWNS.COM
</small>
</p>
<blockquote><em>"The dark brown pencil it was written with should have been a clue, it was a foreboding color. I was both amused and horrified."</em><br></blockquote><blockquote><em>"Amused because she'd gone to the trouble to write it and the cute spelling, but also horrified 'cos she must have been Hank Marvin (rhyming slang for 'starving')."</em></blockquote><blockquote><em>"This is a very Pearl thing to do - she is what a casual observer might describe as 'sassy.'"</em></blockquote>
<p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-rebelmouse-image">
<img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yMjc2ODY0Mi9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY1NDU3NTI4M30.CL78YRRF6KP1iTgaevLtZRCKa50bFeCjvkdFUJBXLPo/img.jpg?width=980" id="2ba30" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="e6a59451b6202833622dc6ffa918915d" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="1950" data-height="2600">
<small class="image-media media-photo-credit" placeholder="Add Photo Credit...">
Peter Simson /SWNS.COM
</small>
</p>
<p><strong>He joked:</strong> <br></p><blockquote><em>"To her mother it's the sign of a strong woman but to me it's plain insolence. I should add my own mother made the worst sandwiches on crumbly bread when I was a kid, but I made damn sure I ate them."</em></blockquote><blockquote><em>"I suppose it's nice I'm following in a family tradition. </em><em>Pearl also HATES sourdough, with that and the “hummas" she'll never be a middle-class icon."</em></blockquote>
Keep reading...
Show less
Dad Finds Map That His Teen Daughter Is 'Working On', And Some Of The New Additions Are Hilariously Alarming
February 13 | 2020
The children are our future, as they say.
And in some cases, they're up to some truly absurdist genius.
Case in point: NBC Sports writer Craig Calcaterra's 16-year-old daughter Anna.
<p>Calcaterra recently discovered his daughter is either a skilled comedian, a mad genius, or maybe both—and will definitely be taking over the world one day. She's been working on a map that fundamentally reshapes the Western hemisphere, triggers multiple wars and also gives us a second Ohio, and it is... well, it's something.</p><p><strong>As Calcaterra relayed on Twitter, it all began with the simplest of parental questions: "Got any homework?" </strong></p><p><strong>And well...</strong></p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-twitter_embed">
</p><div id="00536" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="X1X3BZ1581624327"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet twitter-custom-tweet" data-twitter-tweet-id="1227594895747141632" data-partner="rebelmouse"><div style="margin:1em 0">Last night:
Me: Got any homework?
Anna: Nah.
Me: Whatcha gonna do?
Anna: Have a map I’m working on.
Just fou… https://t.co/AlJcfy8adc</div> — Craig Calcaterra (@Craig Calcaterra)<a href="https://twitter.com/craigcalcaterra/statuses/1227594895747141632">1581516405.0</a></blockquote></div>
<p></p><p><strong>Just your average map, just a fun doodle from a teenager's sketchbook.</strong></p><p><strong>Until you look closer and do the reading...</strong></p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-rebelmouse-image">
<img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yMjcyNTM0OS9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYzNDE2NTg1MX0.l1VUiBL_vNe-1rxSlvCeUNs6hswP9PPr87x9vYgAtaY/img.jpg?width=980" id="0e6da" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="52e887438f0041f643927a93855b21e4" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="1536" data-height="2048">
<small class="image-media media-photo-credit" placeholder="Add Photo Credit...">@craigcalcaterra/Twitter</small></p><p>Honestly, it's hard to discern whether Calcaterra's daughter needs to be stopped because she's using her genius for evil, or if she's the leader we've all been waiting for. Who's to say? </p><p><strong>Because a lot of her proposals seem totally reasonable.</strong> </p><p>Like combining Vermont and New Hampshire just makes sense. So does melding the Dakotas. </p><p><strong>Less clutter.</strong></p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-rebelmouse-image">
<a href="https://media1.giphy.com/media/jokdif4p0m7HMjCPEA/giphy.gif?cid=2fb0ca7612e8e31fadfb88e8d58ac00f85789f96fddd7921&rid=giphy.gif" target="_blank"><img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yMjcyNTU5OS9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYyNjE3ODYzOH0.QpkQGEgmxWl1dEGk3pOd61Gt4EiapoOq_KMaqk0kgJs/img.gif?width=980" id="bf381" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="79548e47a5697a8c545c8b4c4a46fb8d" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="375" data-height="210"></a>
<small class="image-media media-photo-credit" placeholder="Add Photo Credit...">
<a href="https://giphy.com/gifs/aight-makes-sense-now-that-you-mention-it-jokdif4p0m7HMjCPEA" target="_blank">Giphy</a>
</small>
</p><p><strong>And swapping the Virginias seems fair. </strong></p><p><strong>West Virginia's been in Virginia's shadow all this time, so why not switch it around and let West Virginia have a chance to shine?</strong><br></p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-rebelmouse-image">
<a href="https://media1.giphy.com/media/3o6fJ7vBWxaIQCQAG4/giphy.gif?cid=2fb0ca76a7cf4c892671240611f17e84e500af5d6c0390da&rid=giphy.gif" target="_blank"><img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yMjcyNTY0My9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY1OTA0MTY3NH0.z_GPR_ARCvxaykOqZRLw7VoOzO6phQNMLcibFL-qaT8/img.gif?width=980" id="140ce" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="5f74eaf47ee448a88342f1f34db5240f" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="244"></a>
<small class="image-media media-photo-credit" placeholder="Add Photo Credit...">
<a href="https://giphy.com/gifs/netflix-house-of-cards-claire-3o6fJ7vBWxaIQCQAG4" target="_blank">Giphy</a>
</small>
</p><p><strong>And letting Florida secede, well... we can probably all get behind that. </strong></p><p><strong>It's already <a href="https://www.boredpanda.com/hilarious-florida-man-headings/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=organic" target="_blank">its own world</a> in practice anyway. </strong></p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-rebelmouse-image">
<a href="https://media0.giphy.com/media/zNyBPu5hEFpu/giphy.gif?cid=2fb0ca768ed554168c95d544c62f170b1eafbdfb87e2a31c&rid=giphy.gif" target="_blank"><img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yMjcyNTgxNS9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY1NzYyMjI2NX0.f11n5LWaMQATeE5E5K6R-mqaj0GXp5tpCx2epkn6RlE/img.gif?width=980" id="89af6" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="8ef72c1df53f7637ac542cf03b9296a8" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="320" data-height="240"></a>
<small class="image-media media-photo-credit" placeholder="Add Photo Credit...">
<a href="https://giphy.com/gifs/looney-tunes-florida-bugs-bunny-zNyBPu5hEFpu" target="_blank">Giphy</a>
</small>
</p><p>But increasing the size of both Texas and Idaho—such that it takes over not just the middle of the US but a huge swath of Canada too? <em>By unanimous vote‽‽</em></p><p><strong>Utter madness. </strong></p><p>And not just because Oklahoma loses its cute panhandle in the process.</p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-rebelmouse-image">
<a href="https://media1.giphy.com/media/3oxRmGXbquXKz6DNPq/giphy.gif?cid=2fb0ca7609ea0aa2e972503ac32be88e1d149a31c8175690&rid=giphy.gif" target="_blank"><img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yMjcyNjMyNy9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYzODQ1ODE3Mn0.mbQmBQcEskpPtAv9xYMRNGz15NNHaUkQIBD04U1fHLU/img.gif?width=980" id="421b8" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="ce38ab91ce09354bbcbea6df42426a3d" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="270"></a>
<small class="image-media media-photo-credit" placeholder="Add Photo Credit...">
<a href="https://giphy.com/gifs/steveharveytv-crazy-steve-harvey-you-3oxRmGXbquXKz6DNPq" target="_blank">Giphy</a>
</small>
</p><p><strong>And this whole Long Chile thing is... it's just...</strong><br></p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-rebelmouse-image">
<a href="https://media3.giphy.com/media/dUMyRVhUMmD1m/giphy.gif?cid=2fb0ca76033d4057c7e5b94d0e1bd5545798776610218661&rid=giphy.gif" target="_blank"><img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yMjcyNjAxNi9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYzMTc3NTgxNH0.RvW5Xepw_c05OWrl50c_BzuwtOFerCRkG55tvUQm5z4/img.gif?width=980" id="5c20d" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="88eb12a2ffdb36019842f5b21a5ffe27" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="150" data-height="134"></a>
<small class="image-media media-photo-credit" placeholder="Add Photo Credit...">
<a href="https://giphy.com/gifs/crazy-dUMyRVhUMmD1m" target="_blank">Giphy</a>
</small>
</p><p><strong>And A SECOND OHIO? </strong></p><p><strong>We have enough on our hands with the first one.</strong></p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-rebelmouse-image">
<a href="https://media3.giphy.com/media/CKrlUi30dn44w/giphy.gif?cid=2fb0ca7609ea0aa2e972503ac32be88e1d149a31c8175690&rid=giphy.gif" target="_blank"><img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yMjcyNjQwMS9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYzMjk4ODI0N30.1t1Z-rCVzagnHDvu3-Ggg2ZdC6JeuPqNIiZqjG_GmYE/img.gif?width=980" id="41b93" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="e44f63933c462b43f98a4b00baf104ea" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="204"></a>
<small class="image-media media-photo-credit" placeholder="Add Photo Credit...">
<a href="https://giphy.com/gifs/trump-president-donald-CKrlUi30dn44w" target="_blank">Giphy</a>
</small>
</p><p><strong>Anyway, as you might expect, folks on Twitter had lots to say about Anna's new world order.</strong></p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-twitter_embed">
</p><div id="cc9dc" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="Q3JTX51581624328"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet twitter-custom-tweet" data-twitter-tweet-id="1227595883899949057" data-partner="rebelmouse"><div style="margin:1em 0">@craigcalcaterra But! What happened to Alaska?</div> — Ben (@Ben)<a href="https://twitter.com/_bbbene/statuses/1227595883899949057">1581516641.0</a></blockquote></div>
<p></p><p><br></p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-twitter_embed">
</p><div id="ff876" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="MNAU7D1581624328"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet twitter-custom-tweet" data-twitter-tweet-id="1227596103677366272" data-partner="rebelmouse"><div style="margin:1em 0">@craigcalcaterra OMG. Count me in. Surprised she didn't mess with MI though. Lot to work with here. Suggest she sho… https://t.co/5m7GhzqnZD</div> — Ernst (@Ernst)<a href="https://twitter.com/ernst2k/statuses/1227596103677366272">1581516693.0</a></blockquote></div>
<p></p><p><br></p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-twitter_embed">
</p><div id="db7c1" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="2BE4BJ1581624328"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet twitter-custom-tweet" data-twitter-tweet-id="1227595544786161665" data-partner="rebelmouse"><div style="margin:1em 0">@lizroscher @craigcalcaterra As a native Minnesotan, I take umbrage with the name change.</div> — Steven Nelson (@Steven Nelson)<a href="https://twitter.com/UM_stevenel/statuses/1227595544786161665">1581516560.0</a></blockquote></div>
<p></p><p><br></p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-twitter_embed">
</p><div id="2449d" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="WB5N0L1581624328"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet twitter-custom-tweet" data-twitter-tweet-id="1227597484454748160" data-partner="rebelmouse"><div style="margin:1em 0">@craigcalcaterra Apropos of nothing https://t.co/kVE8tFoXkg</div> — Scott Moomaw (@Scott Moomaw)<a href="https://twitter.com/aboutamoo/statuses/1227597484454748160">1581517022.0</a></blockquote></div>
<p></p><p><br></p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-twitter_embed">
</p><div id="103c1" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="AVD6HA1581624328"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet twitter-custom-tweet" data-twitter-tweet-id="1227695086412222469" data-partner="rebelmouse"><div style="margin:1em 0">@aboutamoo @craigcalcaterra Fixed it to make it accurate to the new world order map. :-) https://t.co/aiD46vkgjJ</div> — Kyle Eden (@Kyle Eden)<a href="https://twitter.com/dragonlord741/statuses/1227695086412222469">1581540292.0</a></blockquote></div>
<p></p><p><strong>The Ohio thing definitely raised some eyebrows.</strong><br></p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-twitter_embed">
</p><div id="c0680" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="2GM6G11581624328"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet twitter-custom-tweet" data-twitter-tweet-id="1227596347056041985" data-partner="rebelmouse"><div style="margin:1em 0">@craigcalcaterra Most offensive part is an *additional* Ohio</div> — Lil Dumplin (@Lil Dumplin)<a href="https://twitter.com/SocksWearer/statuses/1227596347056041985">1581516751.0</a></blockquote></div>
<p></p><p><br></p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-twitter_embed">
</p><div id="8f658" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="LXN9RZ1581624328"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet twitter-custom-tweet" data-twitter-tweet-id="1227596501326716929" data-partner="rebelmouse"><div style="margin:1em 0">@craigcalcaterra All of this is reasonable except that Ohio 2 should be named 2 O 2 Hio.</div> — Jesse Spector (@Jesse Spector)<a href="https://twitter.com/jessespector/statuses/1227596501326716929">1581516788.0</a></blockquote></div>
<p></p><p><br></p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-twitter_embed">
</p><div id="0a745" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="V14DSU1581624328"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet twitter-custom-tweet" data-twitter-tweet-id="1227632178755858434" data-partner="rebelmouse"><div style="margin:1em 0">@jessespector @craigcalcaterra H2hiO</div> — Marie Baguette (@Marie Baguette)<a href="https://twitter.com/040hz/statuses/1227632178755858434">1581525294.0</a></blockquote></div>
<p></p><p><br></p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-twitter_embed">
</p><div id="1976d" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="8GDKUF1581624329"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet twitter-custom-tweet" data-twitter-tweet-id="1227596649209323520" data-partner="rebelmouse"><div style="margin:1em 0">@kyleinmke @craigcalcaterra Ohio 2: Skyline Boogaloo</div> — Erik Carlson (@Erik Carlson)<a href="https://twitter.com/HubsPhD/statuses/1227596649209323520">1581516823.0</a></blockquote></div>
<p></p><p><strong>As did Canada's seeming acquiescence to Anna's imperialism. </strong><br></p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-twitter_embed">
</p><div id="22071" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="RMOGPX1581624329"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet twitter-custom-tweet" data-twitter-tweet-id="1227607398250172417" data-partner="rebelmouse"><div style="margin:1em 0">@craigcalcaterra I like that Canada is invaded 3 times in this map and not once goes to war over it.</div> — Trevor Gould (@Trevor Gould)<a href="https://twitter.com/TrevGould/statuses/1227607398250172417">1581519386.0</a></blockquote></div>
<p></p><p><br></p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-twitter_embed">
</p><div id="ef7c2" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="XQCLJ61581624329"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet twitter-custom-tweet" data-twitter-tweet-id="1227607497734750208" data-partner="rebelmouse"><div style="margin:1em 0">@TrevGould On-brand</div> — Craig Calcaterra (@Craig Calcaterra)<a href="https://twitter.com/craigcalcaterra/statuses/1227607497734750208">1581519409.0</a></blockquote></div>
<p></p><p><br></p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-twitter_embed">
</p><div id="aa5ae" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="3P2LAH1581624329"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet twitter-custom-tweet" data-twitter-tweet-id="1227653462487261185" data-partner="rebelmouse"><div style="margin:1em 0">@stillnfac @craigcalcaterra @TrevGould I'm French Canadian.
Please take Alberta.</div> — Renaud 和彦 Lepage (@Renaud 和彦 Lepage)<a href="https://twitter.com/cybik/statuses/1227653462487261185">1581530368.0</a></blockquote></div>
<p></p><p><strong>And that whole thing about the Dakotas had people scratching their heads...</strong></p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-twitter_embed">
</p><div id="46856" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="DTPIE91581624329"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet twitter-custom-tweet" data-twitter-tweet-id="1227654234843340805" data-partner="rebelmouse"><div style="margin:1em 0">@cybik @stillnfac @craigcalcaterra @TrevGould We already have two Dakotas, all full up here bud.</div> — theurge14 (@theurge14)<a href="https://twitter.com/theurge14/statuses/1227654234843340805">1581530552.0</a></blockquote></div>
<p></p><p><strong>But Anna herself quickly put this all to rest.</strong></p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-twitter_embed">
</p><div id="96545" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="5LZFQN1581624329"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet twitter-custom-tweet" data-twitter-tweet-id="1227614297481785346" data-partner="rebelmouse"><div style="margin:1em 0">Update: https://t.co/Kh2zYSEoQb</div> — Craig Calcaterra (@Craig Calcaterra)<a href="https://twitter.com/craigcalcaterra/statuses/1227614297481785346">1581521031.0</a></blockquote></div>
<p></p><p><br></p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-rebelmouse-image">
<img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yMjcyODc5Mi9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYzNjAzNjY2OH0.JzZBY_uUDIO7EGa4zTc8TVERG7z9AbmoIjhwRitDxug/img.jpg?width=980" id="e566e" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="9bedbcba6c3a6bac6d56e0a88d58287d" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="750" data-height="1023">
<small class="image-media media-photo-credit" placeholder="Add Photo Credit...">@craigcalcaterra/Twitter</small></p><p><br></p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-rebelmouse-image">
<a href="https://media3.giphy.com/media/1L5YuA6wpKkNO/giphy.gif?cid=2fb0ca76568bf7b80fc4c4711a6e1cc698ddc8de59ea327c&rid=giphy.gif" target="_blank"><img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yMjcyODk2Ny9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY0MTU3NjI2MH0.80po_diFDA8-31XxBsLp-wbbGdiYB7hx9sawmNJsk7Q/img.gif?width=980" id="960d1" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="821d675979c296dfb696e7619a3f1c26" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="225" data-height="195"></a>
<small class="image-media media-photo-credit" placeholder="Add Photo Credit...">
<a href="https://giphy.com/gifs/amazing-crazy-1L5YuA6wpKkNO" target="_blank">Giphy</a>
</small>
</p><p><strong>Well, that's that.</strong></p><p><strong>Anna is our Queen now and that's the end of it. </strong></p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-twitter_embed">
</p><div id="68402" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="BEC8281581624329"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet twitter-custom-tweet" data-twitter-tweet-id="1227614525739978752" data-partner="rebelmouse"><div style="margin:1em 0">@craigcalcaterra And a child shall lead them.</div> — drmagoo (@drmagoo)<a href="https://twitter.com/drmag00/statuses/1227614525739978752">1581521085.0</a></blockquote></div>
<p></p><p><strong>Long may she reign over Long Chile and all eastward territories from sea to shining East Virginia, or whatever.</strong></p>
Keep reading...
Show less
Pissed Off Little Girl Goes On A Hilariously Serious Rant After Her Classmate Stole Her Perfect Attendance Pencil
January 31 | 2020
Elementary school is where we first begin learning about the real world.
We learn math and reading and writing, sure, but we also learn how to share, how to apologize, how to work together and respect each other.
Big stuff!
<p>But it's also where we start learning about what petty, jealous monsters human beings can be. And it is <em>that</em> lesson that one little girl learned this week—and she was emphatically NOT. HAVING. IT. </p><p>Tabitha Garcia, a mom from Texas, shares her daughter Taylor's most adorable and funny moments on her Instagram page <a href="https://www.instagram.com/tabgeezy/" target="_blank">@tabgeezy</a>. Her most recent post showed a whole other side to the usually smily Taylor. </p><p><strong>In short: if you come for Taylor's favorite pencil, Taylor will come for YOU.</strong></p><p>See, Taylor recently received a special pink pencil as an award for perfect attendance at school. A high honor. </p><p>And it seems SOMEONE, who will remain NAMELESS but is DEFINITELY NAMED LIZZIE, decided Taylor's pink perfect attendance pencil was now HERS. </p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-rebelmouse-image">
<a href="https://media0.giphy.com/media/3o7aDgkImXfqjm19Re/giphy.gif?cid=2fb0ca764c2dfa1fa54e247d06ee48e9ad49562a7cd922ff&rid=giphy.gif" target="_blank"><img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yMjY0MjcyMC9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY0MjI3NDQxMn0.Af7I9wn8pPmtxjYxVkQMKU2RBqvPozrTjZ2xmO5aZQE/img.gif?width=980" id="0ba80" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="89df71dd1e568b3775387f693f2b88f0" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image"></a>
<small class="image-media media-photo-credit" placeholder="Add Photo Credit...">
<a href="https://giphy.com/gifs/excuse-me-3o7aDgkImXfqjm19Re" target="_blank">Giphy</a>
</small>
</p><p><strong>The gall... </strong></p><p><strong>So how did this all go down? </strong></p><p><strong>Well, let Taylor tell you. </strong></p><p><strong>Prepare to be outraged.</strong><br></p><div id="d5c19" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="G5ESTH1580501122"><blockquote class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-version="4" style=" background:#FFF; border:0;
border-radius:3px; box-shadow:0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15);
margin: 1px; max-width:658px; padding:0; width:99.375%; width:-webkit-calc(100% - 2px);
width:calc(100% - 2px);">
<div style="padding:8px;">
<div style=" background:#F8F8F8; line-height:0; margin-top:40px; padding:50% 0; text-align:center;
width:100%;">
<div style=" background:url(data:image/png;base64,iVBORw0KGgoAAAANSUhEUgAAACwAAAAsCAMAAAApWqozAAAAGFBMVEUiIiI9PT0eHh4gIB4hIBkcHBwcHBwcHBydr+JQAAAACHRSTlMABA4YHyQsM5jtaMwAAADfSURBVDjL7ZVBEgMhCAQBAf//42xcNbpAqakcM0ftUmFAAIBE81IqBJdS3lS6zs3bIpB9WED3YYXFPmHRfT8sgyrCP1x8uEUxLMzNWElFOYCV6mHWWwMzdPEKHlhLw7NWJqkHc4uIZphavDzA2JPzUDsBZziNae2S6owH8xPmX8G7zzgKEOPUoYHvGz1TBCxMkd3kwNVbU0gKHkx+iZILf77IofhrY1nYFnB/lQPb79drWOyJVa/DAvg9B/rLB4cC+Nqgdz/TvBbBnr6GBReqn/nRmDgaQEej7WhonozjF+Y2I/fZou/qAAAAAElFTkSuQmCC);
display:block; height:44px; margin:0 auto -44px; position:relative; top:-22px; width:44px;">
</div></div><p style=" margin:8px 0 0 0; padding:0 4px;">
<a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/B79jz-iHDAq/" style=" color:#000; font-family:Arial,sans-serif;
font-size:14px; font-style:normal; font-weight:normal; line-height:17px; text-decoration:none;
word-wrap:break-word;" target="_top">@tabgeezy on Instagram: “She earned her ✏️ for perfect attendance so she was super serious😂 🤦🏽♀️. I told her it wasn’t that serious and they all do the same thing…”</a></p>
</div></blockquote></div><p>So just to recap: Taylor put her special Pink Pencil for Perfect Attendance in the sharpening box and when she went to retrieve it, it was gone. </p><p>Then later, she saw Lizzie using her pencil—LIZZIE, who'd had the unmitigated temerity to be in CA-NA-DA and hence could not possibly have perfect attendance. </p><p>JUDGMENT FOR THE PLAINTIFF.</p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-rebelmouse-image">
<a href="https://media1.giphy.com/media/Z4OiopmUVjefK/giphy.gif?cid=2fb0ca76c05a2f57516acc636bbac2be4902d24eaefd8ed0&rid=giphy.gif" target="_blank"><img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yMjY0Mjc0OC9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYzMTA5ODQ0N30.IBTYEf74JOZt56kKfsZhdFqDX4t3SB9-oVPuB9INdSo/img.gif?width=980" id="90a71" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="1a8de3aaaee117ee11d39a2ebb31bb4c" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image"></a>
<small class="image-media media-photo-credit" placeholder="Add Photo Credit...">
<a href="https://giphy.com/gifs/rupaul-maggie-delano-Z4OiopmUVjefK" target="_blank">Giphy</a>
</small>
</p><p>On the other hand, Tabitha may have a point. </p><p>It <em>is</em> just a pencil, and they <em>do</em> all write the same. That's fair, and—wait, you know what? NO. </p><p>This <em>is</em> egregious. Are we now in a world where people can just say "LOL this is mine now bye"? Who does this Lizzie person think she is, <a href="https://grist.org/politics/heres-the-real-story-of-columbus-that-people-prefer-to-ignore/" target="_blank">Christopher Columbus</a>‽‽ This is an absolute outrage. </p><p>JUSTICE FOR TAYLOR!<br></p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-rebelmouse-image">
<a href="https://media3.giphy.com/media/3oKIPsO1oydfeAJYE8/giphy.gif?cid=2fb0ca76aec26943846a5559503d2354838e053358cee539&rid=giphy.gif" target="_blank"><img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yMjY0MjczOC9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY2NjEzOTkyN30.Gh3tmPpZQ8Td7i85s6Lqzdc7vcPS843tnFrFaaT8aCU/img.gif?width=980" id="25721" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="6fd521aef89e22f7f29cc4d9207ac1b3" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image"></a>
<small class="image-media media-photo-credit" placeholder="Add Photo Credit...">
<a href="https://giphy.com/gifs/studiosoriginals-transphobia-biphobia-3oKIPsO1oydfeAJYE8" target="_blank">Giphy</a>
</small>
</p><p><strong>Anyway, Taylor's recent lesson in the unfairness of life definitely struck a chord with the internet. </strong></p><p><strong>Safe to say Taylor has plenty of back-up!</strong><br></p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-twitter_embed">
</p><div id="714f0" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="61LCLM1580501122"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet twitter-custom-tweet" data-twitter-tweet-id="1223105472393121793" data-partner="rebelmouse"><div style="margin:1em 0">I know I'm not ready to be a parent bc I'd be at that school the next day like "Yal deadass finna come up off my ba… https://t.co/ODx10NVbtH</div> — Dreka Gates 💕 (@Dreka Gates 💕)<a href="https://twitter.com/_FemGod/statuses/1223105472393121793">1580446043.0</a></blockquote></div>
<p></p><p><br></p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-twitter_embed">
</p><div id="9197b" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="6R7UC81580501122"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet twitter-custom-tweet" data-twitter-tweet-id="1223247294574874624" data-partner="rebelmouse"><div style="margin:1em 0">CA👏🏾NA👏🏾DA👏🏾. You can’t have the Pink Perfect Attendance Pencil if you have passport stamps, Lizzie! https://t.co/sVq7JN5EoR</div> — April (@April)<a href="https://twitter.com/ReignOfApril/statuses/1223247294574874624">1580479856.0</a></blockquote></div>
<p></p><p><br></p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-rebelmouse-image">
<img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yMjY0Mjc1OC9vcmlnaW4ucG5nIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY1Njk2NjUxMH0.ZRM9uw8BEDUwiDj90UhK7seDaFTpI2dCwDI6Di7VrXw/img.png?width=980" id="ef619" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="1f18a213237cd6c6e658ec79e393ddd8" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image">
<small class="image-media media-photo-credit" placeholder="Add Photo Credit...">@naturalmane/Instagram</small></p><p><br></p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-twitter_embed">
</p><div id="ede31" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="9ZC7621580501122"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet twitter-custom-tweet" data-twitter-tweet-id="1223288261193293824" data-partner="rebelmouse"><div style="margin:1em 0">Might pull up to the playground. I just want to talk with lizzie. “You think you tough because you taller than me,… https://t.co/q3B1MOmTNZ</div> — quinta brunson (@quinta brunson)<a href="https://twitter.com/quintabrunson/statuses/1223288261193293824">1580489623.0</a></blockquote></div>
<p></p><p><br></p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-twitter_embed">
</p><div id="56720" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="UO6SDM1580501122"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet twitter-custom-tweet" data-twitter-tweet-id="1223256202416492544" data-partner="rebelmouse"><div style="margin:1em 0">Lizzie can get CHINNED from Canada to the U.S., period. https://t.co/ordBAuX7oA</div> — CHIKA (@CHIKA)<a href="https://twitter.com/oranicuhh/statuses/1223256202416492544">1580481980.0</a></blockquote></div>
<p></p><p><br></p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-rebelmouse-image">
<img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yMjY0Mjc1OS9vcmlnaW4ucG5nIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY0MzI4NzA0MX0.01UK0C1a4hx0AS4W-5-K6NDPcHlXTInxWOUvww4hi5w/img.png?width=980" id="e838b" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="819557c37dd8918c7403be47db577c1a" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image">
<small class="image-media media-photo-credit" placeholder="Add Photo Credit...">@celizabeth82/Instagram</small></p><p><br></p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-twitter_embed">
</p><div id="9ae0a" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="85S15E1580501122"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet twitter-custom-tweet" data-twitter-tweet-id="1223256411884355584" data-partner="rebelmouse"><div style="margin:1em 0">This is my pinned tweet until she gets her Perfect Attendance Pencil back from Lizzie. https://t.co/f7Qr5hgjoF</div> — SeanKentComedy (@SeanKentComedy)<a href="https://twitter.com/seankent/statuses/1223256411884355584">1580482030.0</a></blockquote></div>
<p></p><p><br></p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-twitter_embed">
</p><div id="6a908" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="QKED8I1580501122"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet twitter-custom-tweet" data-twitter-tweet-id="1223263763421376512" data-partner="rebelmouse"><div style="margin:1em 0">i’m calling the cops on lizzie...
GIVE HER BACK HER PERFECT ATTENDANCE PENCIL!!! https://t.co/DMbN8GxuUj</div> — Ethan Harvey (@Ethan Harvey)<a href="https://twitter.com/ethanharv/statuses/1223263763421376512">1580483782.0</a></blockquote></div>
<p></p><p><br></p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-twitter_embed">
</p><div id="b875f" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="ICEGXH1580501123"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet twitter-custom-tweet" data-twitter-tweet-id="1223263699345068032" data-partner="rebelmouse"><div style="margin:1em 0">Lizzie’s mom after she finds out she’s trending on #Twitter for nabbing this girl’s Perfect Attendance Pencil. https://t.co/MZU9diBRWq</div> — Rachel Cullen Designs (@Rachel Cullen Designs)<a href="https://twitter.com/rachelcullen201/statuses/1223263699345068032">1580483767.0</a></blockquote></div>
<p></p><p><br></p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-rebelmouse-image">
<img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yMjY0Mjc2MC9vcmlnaW4ucG5nIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYxNDY4MzQ4Nn0.jTES3UdnznAEsuB7VW7sruVoqD4JiPlNROyStSQL9yk/img.png?width=980" id="f7288" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="5d9e81de99f8bc5afee1964577363185" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image">
<small class="image-media media-photo-credit" placeholder="Add Photo Credit...">@michae_b/Instagram</small></p><p><br></p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-twitter_embed">
</p><div id="56f31" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="9LVG921580501123"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet twitter-custom-tweet" data-twitter-tweet-id="1223264247871725568" data-partner="rebelmouse"><div style="margin:1em 0">oh nah. me: “what’s lizzie’s mother’s phone number?” https://t.co/D0LZWJuoI2</div> — freddie ransome (@freddie ransome)<a href="https://twitter.com/Ransome_Note/statuses/1223264247871725568">1580483898.0</a></blockquote></div>
<p></p><p><br></p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-twitter_embed">
</p><div id="71ebe" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="RCBM3O1580501123"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet twitter-custom-tweet" data-twitter-tweet-id="1223258779392888835" data-partner="rebelmouse"><div style="margin:1em 0">Me and Lizzie’s mama are having some words. https://t.co/w5x0gMvhsp</div> — brittany packnett cunningham (@brittany packnett cunningham)<a href="https://twitter.com/MsPackyetti/statuses/1223258779392888835">1580482594.0</a></blockquote></div>
<p></p><p><br></p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-twitter_embed">
</p><div id="7ba5d" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="QIAT3N1580501123"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet twitter-custom-tweet" data-twitter-tweet-id="1223253074032107521" data-partner="rebelmouse"><div style="margin:1em 0">@_FemGod People driving by the school looking for Lizzie to politely ask her to return the Perfect Attendance Penci… https://t.co/LEFyn9jHG9</div> — Carla Wants Poetic Justice (@Carla Wants Poetic Justice)<a href="https://twitter.com/Carla32189368/statuses/1223253074032107521">1580481234.0</a></blockquote></div>
<p></p><p><strong>The message here is clear: In a world of Lizzies, be a Taylor. Put THAT in the second grade textbooks.</strong></p>
Keep reading...
Show less