People Reveal How Things Ended With Their First Love
Reddit user xgc_promathia asked: 'How did your first love end? Do you still think of them?'
CW: Eating disorder.
Everyone remembers the first time they were in love.
Or, at least, the first time they thought they were in love.
Some people might very well have a true "one and only," remaining with their first love for the rest of their life.
For the majority of people, however, the first love is, indeed, their first.
The person who shows them what it is to love and be loved so they know when they've truly found the person they were meant to be with later in life.
With this in mind, some people find ending relationships with their first love easier than they might expect, as deep down, they knew it was never going to last.
Others, however, remember ending things with their first love as the first time their heart was truly broken.
Redditor xgc_promathia was curious to hear how people ended things with their first love and the lasting effects it had on them, leading them to ask:
"How did your first love end? Do you still think of them?"
The Folly Of Youth
"I was a dumb, selfish 23-year-old who wanted more than I had."
"Yes, all the time."- grow4road
"Summer Lovin'..."
"We talking love or 'true love'?"
"My first love was a girl I met at summer camp."
"Shel lived and hour away and since we were both 13 we relied on our mothers to shuttle us back and forth, swapping weekends at each others house."
"The next summer at camp we decided that since we would both be going to high school the following fall that we should enjoy that summer camp time together then break up."
"The last night they had a farewell dance and we spent all night dancing to every slow song."
"I still think of her from time to time but haven't talked to her in over 35 years."
"I spent a hour or so looking her up online and I'm pretty sure I found her but it's been so long and age changes people so I can't be 100% sure."
"I do hope the woman I found is her because she has a beautiful family and from what I saw on FB she's doing really well for herself."- StuckInNov1999
What If...?
"My first true love, we were together for almost a year."
"I we lost our virginity to each other."
"We were making plans to elope after high school I broke up with her because I felt like she was hiding an eating disorder from me."
"She kept on losing weight and she started to look unhealthy, I kept on encouraging her to get help, I even offered to go with her and be there for support when she brought it up to her parents, she kept on refusing."
"I then broke up with her."
"I absolutely crushed her."
"She literally cried in school all day for a month straight."
"I felt really bad about it."
"Then she went NC with me for a few years and I stated to really resent her."
"We then reunited and buried the hatchet then remained friends."
"I haven't seen her in person for about 15 years."
"We are friends on Facebook."
"We comment on each other's posts."
"I think about her every now and then."
"Not so much the person she is now, but the fond memories."
"I have of 2 16 year olds intensely in love with each other."
"I wonder if we were really soul mates but we just met too early in life?"
"She has a nice husband and she seems happy."
"I'm happy for her."- Ill-Indication-7706
Forgive And Forget
"We were high school sweethearts, but we broke up shortly after high school because we were no longer good for one another."
"It was an ugly breakup, and we went several years without contact after I left the state."
"Five years later, my mother sent me a box of my stuff, and one of his old creative writing notebooks was mixed in with it."
"I reached out over fb to ask if he might want it back, and from there, we became friends again."
"Ten years later, we're still friends to this day."- Forward_Ad6168
Unable To Go The Distance
"Joined the military and long distance wasn’t working so I broke up with her."
"We tried to make it work but it was taking a toll on the both of us."
"Didn’t want to break up with her but I felt like it was the best decision for the both of us."
"This was over 3 years ago and yes I still think about her."
"I actually reached out to her for the first time since the break up last week lol."
"Was just curious to see how she was doing."- ReckSaber3664
Truly Love At First Sight
"Daily."
"I married him!"- Complex-Half8338
Ended Before It Could Truly Begin
"They died."
"All the time for last 20 years."- Deep_Ad_1874
Wrong Time, Wrong Place... Not Meant To Be...
"I was 18."
"He was 20."
"He was my first real boyfriend, my first sexual experience, and my first real love."
"We argued a lot all the time basically, I still thought we were good together."
"One day during an argument after he threw a plate of food at me I told him to get out."
"That was something I said a lot and it was a trigger for him because everyone in his life either died or abandoned him or kicked him out."
"He left, like actually called a cab took everything including his New flat screen TV and left."
"I spiraled."
"Eventually though after three years I moved on and met my daughter's dad."
"I have love for him and see that he’s now in recovery and having a baby with a new gf."
"This was over 12 years ago when we dated."
"I’m happy for him but also moved on and grateful for that."- SubstantialLove8330
"The Course Of True Love Never Did Run Smooth..."
"Long story short, my first 'real' love ended when she left to a different state."
"We were best friends for a long time but after she left, friendship ended too."
"We were young and I was too immature for a relationship."
"I was the one pursuing it and she wanted to just be friends which was one of the reasons it pushed her away."
"Like I said immature of me because I didn't consider her feelings and respect her answer at the time."
"Many many years later, I reached out and apologized for everything."
"Because I was the problem."
"She was in a broken relationship at the time and I didn't want anything but to say I'm sorry and become friends again."
"A few years later, she brought it up about a possible relationship with me and I agreed (and no I wasn't thinking about a relationship at the time because in my mind, that ship sailed LONG ago)."
"That caught me off guard."
"Years later after this conversation, we are married and have children."
"Not saying everyone's relationship will turn out this way but this was my experience."- VailStampede
As Nat King Cole once famously said, "The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love, and be loved in return."
Sometimes, to know what it is to truly love, we have to have our hearts truly broken.
Making the chance to have a "first love," be it at age 15 or 75, a right of passage everyone deserves.
People Break Down What They Learned From Their First Relationship
Reddit user Frero_s asked: 'What did you learn from your first relationship?'
Every love story, good or bad, has a lesson embedded in it.
And just like life in general, love always comes full circle.
We all end up back at the beginning.
My first relationship left enough scars for my therapist to send her her kids to college.
There is always a takeaway.
Too often, we ignore them.
If you haven't already, go back and dig a little deeper.
Redditor Frero_s wanted to discuss all the lessons they learned from the people they dated in the beginning, so they asked:
"What did you learn from your first relationship?"
My first love taught me to watch out for love.
Next to Godliness
snow white cleaning GIFGiphy"Compatibility with household cleanliness and organization habits is far more important than you think. Relationships where one partner cares a lot more about the household than the other will result in both parties resenting each other."
EdgyGoose
Firsts
“'When someone shows you who they are, believe them, the first time.' -Maya Angelou, several years after I learned that lesson the hard way, but I could never phrase it better."
"Going hand in hand with that, you can’t fix someone else, especially someone who’s given up on themselves. You can only put that kind of energy and effort into yourself and expect to see returns. That one took me a couple or three ill-advised relationships, truthfully."
Some_Specialist_5052
The One
"You're going to get your heart broken sometimes. That my friends is life."
MrDadBod
"I prefer to think that most relationships will end, but that doesn’t make them failures. You can learn things and grow as a person in many relationships, even ones that end poorly."
"You can make mistakes by staying in them too long, ending them too soon, treating your partner badly, or allowing yourself to be treated badly, but calling them failures is such a limited perspective. Most people that find 'the one' probably would have 'failed' in that relationship if they had no prior relationships to learn from."
whomeverwiz
Not Enough
"It's not enough to love someone; the way that love is expressed matters a lot. For a great relationship, you have to love your partner in the way they need to be loved."
NoodleWeird
"And this takes practice too! Patience at the beginning of a relationship is important. Don't just assume you know each other from the inside out in the beginning, and take time to understand where each person is coming from."
ChimkenFinger
"That's the principle of the Five Love Languages. Do and say the things of the love language your partner most connects to."
LucidWebMarketing
Let it Go
let it go GIFGiphy"That some people aren’t meant for you. Don’t wait for them to be somebody they aren’t and don’t try to change them to fit what you want them to be."
Elegant-Vehicle7314
The only change we can focus on is our own.
As a couple, it's about changing together.
Otherwise move on.
Lies
Three Little Pigs Wow GIF by LaffGiphy"Sometimes the words 'I love you' don’t actually mean much when the person saying them doesn’t believe in those words anymore."
GodofWar1234
Perfect
"Well, I didn't have my first relationship until I was 30 which ended up in marriage and eventually divorce. The biggest lesson I took from it was that waiting for that 'perfect' person was a complete waste of time. I had a very difficult time dating when I was younger. I put too much pressure on each date for it to be something special."
"The marriage taught me that I could actually be desirable and gave me confidence going forward. The divorce, on the other hand, made me a much more guarded and uncaring person. Turns out the uncaring part made it easier to go on dates (less anxiety) but harder for them to mean anything later on."
Boromn
Thank you, Katie...
"Make your own decisions about what you want out of life your instead of those that line up with what she wants out of her life."
"Almost followed a girl to Portland, OR, and took a job I didn't really want because I wanted to make 'us' work. So happy she cared enough about me to end things and tell me to find my own path. A wife, a successful military career, and a bunch of kids later, I'm eternally grateful things turned out the way they did. Thank you, Katie."
thethrillamanila
Want better for YOU!
"To never chase or beg anyone to stay."
DarlinggD
"My first gf broke up with me over text right after she had left my place, walked her home even though we were both upset at each other. She refused to talk about it in person and then got mad at me for not fighting to keep her. I think I dodged a bullet because I don't think any relationship will work if one party refuses to communicate, uses breaking up to try to manipulate, or breaks up over text. All 3 in this case."
LumberWand
Under Pressure
Fuck You Season 4 GIF by FriendsGiphy"Someone can be a really good friend, doesn’t mean they’ll be a good partner. Also not to give in to pressure from your partner on things you believe in."
Rebel_0518
See your worth
"Apparently I get too attached which is odd to me cause I’m just trying to care and I suppose it comes off in a weird way. I’m not gonna stop 'cause I know someone will see my worth and appreciate every second of it when they find me."
Odd_Imagination_6617
"Please don’t ever stop caring. There are enough emotionally detached people in the world; so much so that they’ll have you feeling like you’re the oddball."
Queasy_Thought_6532
Big lessons here.
Relationships take way more than love.
Learn it young.
Oh our high school crushes.
Be honest. How often do they cross your mind?
There is no shame.
They are the first people to set our hearts a flutter.
And they are forever immortalized in our memory as perfect.
But then went on and lived lives.
Let's see how that went.
Redditor anonymous-46wanted to talk about the people who made us blush back in the day. They asked:
"How did your high school crush turn out as an adult?"
Mine is "happily" married with kids. So cheers to them and whatever.
Still think about her...
"We graduated from HS in 1989 but went off to different universities. Looked her up about 10 yrs ago and unfortunately she had passed away from cancer. Still think about her!"
FreshStartLiving
Surprised you could find her. Women from high school and college are very difficult to locate without links from Facebook."
"They frequently change their last names. I have a few friends from college I've not been able to locate for 20 years. All my old contact information has expired. College email no longer exists. I no longer have my old phone number. This was before Yahoo Email and Gmail existed."
atari-2700
15 years later...
"She went to Korea to teach English after college, met a man from London, they're married and have a kid in London, he seems nice, she's still a great photographer."
illseeyouinthefog
"Quite a few Girls in my HS class did this as well( not American), especially places like Vietnam, Hong Kong."
"Some of them are still there 15 years later. I don't know how though, English was taken as a second language in my school. We where duel instruction, but hell if I know how some of them got the jobs. I pity those kids who will learn a bastardised version of English."
orbit99za
“he’ll go far”
"I looked one of mine up years ago. One of those “he’ll go far” types, so I expected to find just that. Turns out he’d died in a motorbike collision at 21. Best I could tell someone did something stupid and hit him. Such a waste. Worse was that his dad had died when he was quite young, so I can only imagine how devastated his mom and sister were."
Thanmandrathor
Swing Fast
The Ultimate Fighter Mma GIF by UFCGiphy"She moved to France and became a fairly successful MMA fighter."
astromech_d
An MMA fighter? Now that could been an interesting love story.
Good for her!!
Chicken Thumbs Up GIF by happydogGiphy"She started dating right out of high school and quickly got married. Has kids, successful family, seems nice. I'm on Reddit, so you know my story didn't go that well."
jayval90
The End
"He moved to a different state, became a cop, and was later arrested for pocketing cocaine that was confiscated from traffic stops. He was one of a group of cops from that city that was involved in it. Not gonna lie, my crush ended shortly after reading about that."
Responsible-Top-6882
"good enough"
"He was very successful for many years. Then he lost his job, no other offers were 'good enough' for him, he had to sell the house because he was unemployed, and he moved his family into a smaller place. He started drinking heavily, then one night shot and killed his wife in a drunken argument while the kids cowered in the next room. I didn't miss much."
nakedonmygoat
So Godpseed to him...
"He got really into giant puppets that take like ten people to move, tie dye, & jam bands, & moved to Vermont, which is really the perfect place to pursue all of these interests. So Godpseed to him on living his best life, but it would be hard to imagine a guy that is more NOT what I want for myself. So glad it didn't work out."
youhaveonehour
Success...
leslie odom jr broadway GIF by Hamilton: An American MusicalGiphy"He's a successful Broadway actor and as dreamy, talented, and kind as ever. He's a good person and deserves good things, so I'm genuinely happy for him. We actually keep in touch and when I'm in NYC he takes me backstage at his shows."
Ok_Whatever_Budd
Changes
"She dropped out of university after a bad breakup and initially got into drugs and a dead end job. She also became insecure about her looks because of one of her boyfriends and went for plastic surgery a few times. Last i heard she moved to a whole new city to restart her life and go back to school to get a degree. Hope it works out for her."
Eggsegret
34
"One is my ex-husband. He's sliding into hoarding, conspiracy theories, and general nastiness. I'm sliding the custody arrangement around so that Son is at my house way more often. Still, we keep it civil and respectful, and I've yet to say an unkind word about him to Son. One is gay, and as far as I know, is doing well. He still keeps in touch with my twin brother. One is dead. Epilepsy killed him at 34."
insertcaffeine
Paradise...
love GIFGiphy"45 years later. Married 35+ years, three kids, two grandkids and next year we retire together in our version of paradise. So pretty good so far."
cisco54
Too Different
"Lost touch with her in 1985. Found her again in 2009 just as I was divorcing my 1st wife. Life hadn't treated her kindly in the interim - homelessness, abuse, drugs etc whereas my life has been OK mostly. We got together... married in 2013. Getting divorced now. Her life and mine have been too different... the differences were a good thing for a long time, but now we accept we are incompatible. I think we are both relieved."
plentyofeight
All 3
"I dated the 3 guys in high school I had crushes on. One became successful in tech — happy, married with kids now, a bit boring but very nice. One is wanted by the FBI for defrauding investors with a fake company, among other things, and was last known to be somewhere in Asia (no lie)."
"One became a puppeteer.I’m only still in touch with the first one. I could have called it on the fraudster — he was super charming but extremely shady with a cruel streak, even then, and we only lasted a few weeks. Trust your instincts, even when young!"
HalcyonRye
Don't Tell Me
"I don't know. I don't want to know. I recently made the mistake of reaching into the past and received a sharp reminder that those aren't the people you used to know. It's better to just enjoy the memories for what they are."
Tuna_Salad_Rebellion
"That sounds like both good advice and a warning. Enjoy the memories.... OK."
PowerCord64
Passing By
"He went to the big city after high school, for university, and I didn't know what became of him after that... I eventually went to another province too... but I did see him passing by at an airport, 20 years later, and he was as elegant and smoking hot as ever. Looked like he was happy. He smiled when he saw me. *heart aflutter*"
Moving On
Peace Out Goodbye GIF by NETFLIXGiphy"I told her I liked her and she let me down gently, after that I realized it wasn't gonna happen and kind of moved on. She's still one of my best friends though, she got more attractive, she's got her own fitness business, she's doing well for herself and I'm very proud of her."
Unknown_Captain
The Menace
"I think he's doing alright, he was a menace in high school. But now he mainly hangs out with his wife, dog, & plays video games. He's gotten more annoying as he has gotten older, but turned into a pretty great man. But, this year we will be married 8 years. :)"
"We actually have a game room with a his & hers game set up! He built both of our pcs too. :) I normally like cozy games & he plays all kinds of stuff, mainly mmos. But sometimes we find a game we both like & get sucked into it together."
rousekitten
Well good luck to everyone involved. Hopefully it all worked out as it was meant to.
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For the teenagers deep in the throes of a high school romance, the rest of the world fades away.
Stocked with those underdeveloped adolescent brains, teenagers in love are certain that their love will last forever. No parents, no geographies, no accidents, no external circumstances could possibly interrupt a love so powerful.
Of course, that isn't always the truth. In fact, it rarely is.
Usually high school romances, in the grand scheme of things, are remembered as simply that: a first love that didn't work out.
But there is no doubt that the relationship, as preliminary as it was, held a deep impact on both people. The experiences of that time set the tone for future intimacy. The memories linger.
Which is why so many Redditors had no difficulty giving informed responses to a post asking about the status of high school sweethearts. For a years-old love, it certainly appears top of mind when you read through these.
GavinThePenguin asked, "What happened to your highschool sweetheart?"
Civility
"She is married to what looks to be a pretty great guy, and she is working at her dream job, so presumably she is pretty happy."
"And I'm happy for her."
-- nrdxp
Early Tragedy
"She was living in a group home when we dated freshman year. She aged out at 18, and fell right off the radar."
"Turned out she went to live at a homeless encampment and didn't survive the winter."
-- Washjockey
Consistent Displays of Character
"Mine contacted me when he heard I was getting married. Turns out he was married at the time with 3 kids but he would leave his wife for me now that I was 'ready to be married'..."
"...hmmmm so marriage is just a process of interchangeable parts?"
"He reached out again some 30 years later. I connected to see if he had grown up. Nope, still a di**, on his 3rd wife but willing to have sex with me if I was open to it!"
"No thanks!"
No Love Lost
"He cheated on me with my cousin on Christmas eve in our house. Broke up with him. Few months later he started to date my step mom."
"Last I heard he works at a cook at a bar and is a deadbeat dad that hasn't seen his kid in 7 years."
Beating the Odds
"She recently got engaged to some loser that she's too good for. We're also buying a house together!" -- AlliRmbrIsDrtSkyDrt
"Such a sweet twist. Congratulations 🎈" -- pttrusha
Not All First Loves Don't Last
"She's in the other room watching Jurassic Park with our daughter." -- A-Grey-World
"That is life goals. You should be watching JP too!!!!" -- Kevrack_Invades
"Sick bastard. WHY DIDN'T YOU JOIN THEM WATCHING THAT MASTERPIECE" -- nicknameedan
A Mature Outlook
"She dropped off my radar for 15 years. Then we happened to cross paths when I decided to attend a community gathering and walk for Pokemon Go of all things."
"We exchanged hello's and caught up for a few minutes, but she didn't have time to talk. Turns out she was beyond busy, because she was the one who organized the event."
"I don't think I'm a proud point in her life, and she didn't seem that excited to see me, so I just let her do her thing and stay out of her way."
"Our time together is supposed to be in the past, and that's where I'll keep it. I had a good time at the event, though, so I'm glad she put it together."
Full Circle
"He broke up with me amicably after 8 months when we were 16. We went to different universities, 5 years and 2 degrees each later, I traveled through his city for a job interview."
"I went for a drink or three with him after the interview - it was as if we'd seen each other yesterday. He walked me to the train, just in time - but I hopped off to kiss him before hopping back on as the train departed."
"5 years later we're in the process of buying our first house and are engaged. ❤️"
-- purplegeog
Patterns
"She's getting married soon to the guy she dated immediately after me. Similar to the girlfriend after her. I haven't dated all that much actually, but so far 2/3 actual relationships have found their spouses after me."
"Number 3 still has the chance. Not sure how I feel about this, but hey. Tired of being single? Break up with me. 66% chance you'll find them after."
The Past Is Always Here
"She broke up with me over a text message 2 months after highschool ended. 10 years later I was at a friends wedding rehearsal at the same venue my ex was getting married at that day."
"The world shrinks a little bit each day."
-- blast201
Convenient History
Without planning it, we ended up in the same college. He studies Med and I Biology, so we help each other sometimes."
"The advantages of having dated the top student."
-- MoonCat15
A Mature Trajectory
"She broke up with me which I don't blame her for. I was on the wrong track, selling weed and had no goals. That set off a dark period for me but eventually I moved out of town, started my own business, and haven't looked back."
"We reconnected a few weeks before the high school reunion actually two years ago. She's doing quite well! And has a great husband."
"We caught up and wished each other the best, shoot a message every now and then. I wish I knew how to be just a normal friend with women when I was a teenager LOL."
-- burrsient
Measuring Up
"She broke up with me after we graduated and is now engaged to the super wealthy dude she broke up with me for and living in Italy."
"Needless to say, she's doing better for herself than I am lol"
Nothing But Good Thoughts
"Graduated HS in 2002, we lost touch but reconnected ( just text not in person) a couple years ago. He got his masters in ecology, moved to Alaska for a bit, now lives in the North East."
"He was the kindest guy. I wish nothing but the best for him always."
-- theWildBore
What Could Have Been
"Stayed with her 6 years. She died of breast cancer last year at 37 married with 3 kids to a different man."
"It was one of my biggest regrets in life not marrying her, but part of me is glad that I wasn't with her when she died, left alone, with three children."
"I still never had children to this day."
Dodged a Bullet
"Best friend in High School. I had a massive crush on her. She was pentacostal, but never seemed too uptight. We never dated, and I was happy just hanging out with her. Caught up with her on Facebook, like, 20 years later."
".....she's full on islamaphobic, homophobic, Trump-supporting, racist, uptight Karen now. Really sad to see, because she was such a sweet and caring girl in high school. :( "
-- tygs42
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People Who Married Their First Significant Other Reveal How They Knew They Were The One
Apparently true love does exist, and so does love at first sight. These lucky people found "the one" and shared their stories. Meanwhile, cats are great.
giantclan asked those who married their first boyfriend/girlfriend: What made you decide they were the one despite never being with anyone else?
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.