brag

​Honestly, the things these first few people brag about are probably just the things that they need to fix.

​Crying is not something to brag about.

“People who one up you on how sh*t they think their life is.

Whenever you say you are tired, they counter with "oh I only slept for 3 hours last night" or they brag about how many times they've cried recently, skipped meals, etc.

It's really only a particular kind of person that does this sort of behavior, the attention seeker."

PorkaGator

​I didn’t know trauma was a competition.

“When people brag about something that happened to them that was worse than what happened to you."

Valuable_Bar1382

“Oh my god, this. My family is messed up, and I've been registered in CPS' system since about a week before I was born. Mom is a drug addict, dad is abusive, sister is paranoid schizophrenic. Whole ordeal. I got super lucky, and I'm really well off by now. So you can't really tell my background unless I share it.

I did once, to my classmates at lunch break, after a question of why I lived alone in an apt so early (16), and I explained a little bit, and answered all questions that came up.

Lo and behold, this one girl always had something to one up me with. I told the fascinating story of how my dad kidnapped me, and how my mom drove 8 hours to «kidnap» me back. Fun stuff. She interrupted, saying how her dad always forces her to go to soccer practice, and she knows exactly how I would have felt…

Sure, being forced into activities you don't want to at all is messed up, but like… What?????"

FragranceCandle

These guys are the worst.

“That they're an ‘alpha’. Mate, if you're telling me, you're not one.”

Jzgr87

“It's funny if you consider for a moment that the term ''alpha male'' came from a misconception made by a guy studying wolves, who tried warning people that he messed up and that there is no such thing as an ''alpha wolf'', ''beta wolf'' or ''omega wolf''. Turns out he was just not aware that the whole pack that he was studying at the time was quite literally one family of wolves, not several in one pack, so naturally the head of the family is...well...the head of the family. He tried his best to warn us, but the damage had already been done because some meathead discovered his first paper and glossed over the second one.”

ShazVexus

​Speaking of people who desperately want to be cool, here are a few more certified bad*sses.

To be fair, I’m also scared to ask the clerk where the chips are.

“How badass they are, or what they would do if confronted with a situation. Not always the case, but is pretty common.

We get it, you would knock their @ss out and confront someone if they said X to you, but you were also afraid to ask the store clerk where the chips aisle was at Walmart."

MrScootaroo

“I have an employee who is constantly telling about how he's beat someone up or threatening to. He's late 50s obese, has high blood pressure and would drop like a sack of sh*t if he ever got punched by a teenager. He keeps threatening his daughters boyfriend, and can't understand why his daughter wants to leave home as soon as she turns 18. It's just embarrassing."

Meehaja

At least be a little interesting.

“Their IQ when they clearly aren't intellectually interesting in any way.”

Caseybvdc74

“Years ago someone at work commented that I thought I was 'so smart' when I fixed the printer. Thought it was just banter so I responded that my IQ was at least 90! The rest of my time there he commented to everyone about how I bragged about my IQ. Couldn't correct him without making him look bad. Just told people that he was just annoyed that the printer seemed to hate him so it seemed like an inside joke.”

Pushing59

​This is just concerning.

“How much they can drink. Good for you, bro! Enjoy your 30 pack... Makes me sad.”

Yuri4491

“I feel like that comes from playing drinking games when you're young and you first start drinking. If you're able to drink more and keep playing for longer you're seen as good/better compared to if you're completely wasted after 2-3 beers.”

TheTeamForMe-13

People Who Made A Lot Of Money From Something Totally Random | George Takei’s Oh Myyy

How is this even possible?​

“That they haven't read a book since high school. Or that they can barely read/do math.”

Nine-LifedEnchanter

“I can't imagine stopping reading? It's so weird. Even like audio books or something. How do you manage to avoid books your whole life after high school.”

Animator_Spaminator

Bragging at work does nothing for your reputation. Trust me, your boss isn’t gonna give you that raise for bragging.

Why would any teacher want this?

“As a teacher, hearing other teachers brag about how hard it is to pass their class. Like, you're just bad at your job."

Aimingforsuperior

“Man, I make it hard to FAIL my class. Especially this past year and seeing how much nonsense my kids have to put up with at home, as long as they showed me they were actively trying, they passed.

Some still managed to fail, though.”

TheRedMaiden

Overworking is not impressive.

“How many unused PTO hours they have.

Seriously. Overworking us not a good brag. And letting a company NOT have to pay you your guaranteed benefits... nope.”

Crazyboutdogs

“I mean, as long as they use them by the end of the year. Otherwise, it's just leaving money on the table and that's just idiotic.”

HugSized

Stay away from dumpster fires.​

“Getting in trouble. This chick at work would tell us tales of her weird roommate and the everyday dumb sh*t they got themselves into. She thought it was cool, everyone else thought their life was a dumpster fire."

VanillaSarcoline

“They are fun to encounter on the internet but once they appear in real life there is a huge chance you will get pulled into their bullsh*t misadventures of misery. I like reading random strangers messy stuff here on reddit but that as close as I would like to get, got enough messy MFers to deal with in my life already."

CylonsInAPolicebox

Sometimes you have to wonder why people thought these were valid things to brag about in the first place.

These people can be toxic af.

“I've realized that I just automatically stop listening to gamers who feel the need to brag about how much a** they kicked in multiplayer games.

Congratulations, you accomplished literally nothing of real value.

I'm more referring to gamers who insist on being toxic about it. It's one thing if someone wants to gush about their updated wardrobe, as I completely understand the feel-good sensation that comes from that, but I stop affording someone attention when they start going off.

Surlycur

Let THEM do the bragging.​

“Anyone who won't shut up about stuff that their friends/relatives did. Excessive bragging is annoying enough on it's own, but it's extra annoying coming from someone who didn't even put in the work to achieve things in the first place.”

TedTheodoreMcFly

​Enjoy your life a bit.

“How hard they work.

I work 2 jobs, I'm a hardworking person. You should be like me.

No, I want a job to support myself not to live my life just to work. Seen a tweet where it says something along the line of we work 60 years just to live and enjoy 12 years. By then our body would be half broken down and unable to participate in a lot of activities.”

Xc0liber

​Imagine if a woman did this?

“Body count. Once had a man tell me he slept with over 200 women. Don't know if people commonly brag about how many people they've slept with, but this guy seemed to think it would impress me. The only thing it did was raise a red flag parade, so I marched the hell away.”

All_Seeing_Squirrel

My unsolicited advice is to not try to make yourself special or impressive, but focus on what makes you special on your own. You don’t need other peoples’ validation to make yourself feel good.

Then again, if you wanna brag about being a dumpster fire, that’s your prerogative.