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Women Who Dated Someone They Thought 'I Can Fix Him' Explain What Happened

"Reddit user rest_in_war asked: 'Women who said "I can fix him", what happened?'"

A young woman hugs a young man on a nature trail, as an older couple walks away
Photo by Radu Florin

"I can fix them."

That is one of life's most dangerous sentences.

Love is going to turn out how it turns out.

We can help a significant other.

We can support them.

We can even guide them through the journey.

But fixing someone is not an option.

You can only fix oneself.

Plus, why would you want to fix someone?

Shouldn't we be interested in one another as we are?

Fixing someone implies that they're broken in a way you don't approve of.

That's not a great way to nurture love.

Redditor rest_in_war wanted to hear from the ladies out there about the guys they tried to change, so they asked:

"Women who said 'I can fix him,' what happened?"

If they need fixing, send them to a mechanic. (Therapist)

But don't wait around for the bill.

​Moving On

Seth Meyers Lol GIF by Late Night with Seth MeyersGiphy

"With his newfound self-esteem, he left me for someone better."

CertainProgram8782

Over & Over

"Well, I failed at fixing him but learned a lot about myself in the process. I have no hate for him- if anything I hope every day he does the work to fix himself because I saw the potential and I did care for him once. I hate to think that he’ll just continue life repeating the same patterns over and over."

"I can say for myself, yes there was some damage done for sure! But I’ve never been the type to linger in my hurt. So, I learned a lot about myself, good and bad, and I’ve chosen to let the hurt go that he caused me and work on me. It’s been rocky here and there if I’m being honest- but if I could put that much effort and time into trying to fix someone else, why would I not do the same for myself?!?"

oreosaregarbage

Worse by the Day

"I didn't and he got crazier. No idea what has happened to him now and I don't care."

Comfortable-Ear-9186

Utterly Broken

"Well, my grandma said 'I can fix him,' ended up pregnant and alone. My mother never had a relationship with her biological dad (luckily my grandma met my grandad who then raised my mom). My mom said 'I can fix him,' and ended up alone with a baby. Was a single mom for 15 years. Luckily she's now married to my stepdad who's a great man."

"I said 'I can fix him' and tried my best and wasted 4 years of my youth. LUCKILY I didn't have kids with him, but he wanted to. I came out the other side utterly broken and it took quite a few years to repair myself. My self-confidence is still nonexistent, even though I've been married to a great man for 15 years."

"So, one word of advice; don't."

NamillaDK

Poison Spreads

"Ended up broken too."

ramonapap1

"Reminds me of that tweet that goes something like, 'I convinced my therapist to confront her husband about not liking her tweets. She may not be able to fix me, but at least I can make us both worse.'"

RilohKeen

A plan like this can only lead to self-harm.

We deserve more.

For the Better

Valentines Day Love GIF by Boomerang OfficialGiphy

"I was the one who was fixed. My husband helped me work through my trauma and got me into therapy after we got married. I learned to take accountability for my actions and became much more honest with him. when we got together, I was absolutely aimless, but now I have a genuine plan for my future and I'm so excited to work hard with him in creating a comfortable and happy life together.

"I have always wanted to change for the better and wanted more for my life but he was certainly the push I needed to get there. He's been such a fantastic influence on me and I can never thank him enough for being my rock; I can only hope to repay him for everything he's done for me."

jwannnnn

Clean it Up

"I actually did 'fix him' while we were together- cleaned up (haircuts and regular shaving, clothes that actually fit, etc) and got him a job. The week after I helped him get his own apartment he cheated on me. He almost immediately reverted to how he was before, last I saw he was back to baggy pants and homeless man hair/facial hair. Lost his job and apartment and the girl left him... lol."

Interesting_Worth570

Closed Off

"Well, I am completely emotionally unavailable, and I no longer wish to give people my heart like that again."

NocturnalNess

"I know how you feel because I’ve been in that boat before. Please, when the right person comes along, do not be afraid to open up again. Those scars will ruin future relationships if you don’t let them heal. And all that’s obviously to say is let yourself be ready and don’t rush it. It gets better."

Merkaba_987

Back to my country...

"I was the one who was fixed."

"I met an exchange student when I was 19, and dropped out of college (was failing anyway) to follow her to her country. After about a year there, I was so head over heels in love I was sure I’d marry her. There was no way I was going to be a good husband with no job prospects, not knowing her language, etc."

"I went back to my country to get a menial job in a factory, get myself back into school, study her language, make something of myself. Whereas I was failing out of college when I left, I ended up getting a 4.0 when I went back."

"She flew to see me a few times and the last time broke up with me. I was devastated. But the fire had already been lit and I feel I’ve been quite successful in life over the last 25 years, and I am so thankful for her influence."

ThicccNhatHanh

Getting Wild

Lets Go Reaction GIF by Mason RamseyGiphy

"He left me because the grass was greener. I built him up so much that he was sure he could do better and go out to 'sow his wild oats.' 10 years later and he's close to 40 still living at home and hasn't had a girlfriend since."

happyele

What have we learned?

We can only fix ourselves.

And it's ok that love doesn't always conquer all.

Partner Pet Peeves: What Drives People Crazy in Relationships

Reddit user ExistingAI4149 asked: 'What are some pet peeves you've experienced with a partner?'

couple painting room
Roselyn Tirado on Unsplash

A pet peeve is defined as something a person finds especially annoying.

These tend to vary from person to person which makes them a frequent issue in relationships. From small habits to major personality traits, it's hard to know what will set someone else off.

A partner's interesting quirks or routine habits might inadvertently get on their significant others last nerve.

Keep reading...Show less

It goes without saying, that when we pay a visit to a hospital, either as a guest or as a patient, we only see a very small portion of all the working parts of a hospital.

While countless doctors, nurses and orderlies will be seen roaming the halls, their hands more than full, there are also lab technicians and administrators who are every bit as busy, just not as visible.

Knowing this does rather make one wonder what goes on in a hospital that we don't see, or don't realize.

Or, for that matter, what we patients are actually entitled to, that they may not realize.

A question possibly best left unanswered.

Even so, Redditor SingLikeTinaTurner was eager to find out, leading them to ask:

"Hospital workers of Reddit, what happens there that's hidden but that we should know about?"

If You Know, You Know...

"Not really hidden and kinda minor but I’ll say it anyways."

"I deliver food to patients and it’s not hard to tell when someone is on their way out."

"Could be simply not being hungry, or could be the inability to eat."

"Had one patient who hadn’t eaten anything off their tray for 3 days straight."

"The last time I delivered to them, they smiled and gave me a wink."

"Next day, they were gone."

"It’s rough seeing these things happen in real-time."

"I’m a grown @ss man who doesn’t cry often, but it always leaves me feeling extra empty picking up the untouched trays and replacing them with another tray that I know will stay untouched as well."- jgss2018

Hidden In Plain Sight

"Sometimes when people die we just put an oxygen mask on them and wheel them through the corridors."

"Less distressing for other patients and visitors to think they are asleep rather than see a body with a sheet over it."- dont-believe-me-·

Know Your Rights

"You, as a patient, have every right to refuse any test or treatment or even leave."

"At any time."

"For any reason."

"Unless a harm to self or others- that's different, at least in the US."

"Added bonus you should know: leaving against medical advice DOES NOT mean insurance will not pay for the care you've received."

"Your insurance will still be billed the same as anyone else who stayed the whole time till discharge."

"But if you leave with an IV in your arm we will call the police to find you and bring you back to remove it, because of drug abuse."- Suitable_Sorbet_8718

Peeking Not Recommended

"The hospital I work at has these big square covers."

"When I first started, I would see transport staff pushing these things around the halls."

"I thought they were food trays, or large boxes of hospital equipment."

"Turns out it’s a structured bed cover, so when they are transporting a deceased patient to the morgue, it doesn’t look like a person under a sheet."- rajortoa9

The Flashing Lights Only Get You So Far

"An ambulance ride is not a one way ticket to the front of the line."

"You still get triaged and could be rolled right to the waiting room if you’re non-emergent."- dozerdude1995

emergency ambulance GIFGiphy

Whatever Gets Them In The Zone...

"Surgeon here."

"We listen to music in the OR."

"Most people seem surprised when they hear that."- johnnyscans

Hide And Seek...

"I got a fast bleep (ie. drop everything you’re doing and attend this emergency please) one night to a side room on the ward to find no patient in the bed."

"Was just about to leave the room and go back out to the nurses station, where there had been a bit of a hubbub when I’d dashed past the first time, when something caught my eye."

"Looked up to see a face with wide, slightly wild 'psych eyes' peering down at me from a gap in the ceiling tiles."

"She was a lady waiting for a bed in the psych hospital who’d clearly thought the ceiling was the best place to hide from the people trying to poison her."

"Honestly can’t think of another occasion that I’ve been quite so terrified."

"Worst thing was that I had to walk (well, dash) back out underneath her to get help from the nurses and security to get her down."- Leas-Pe·

Speaking In Code...

"If you register in the ER and tell the triage nurse that your problem is 'personal' we know you’re here because of something genital or anal related."

"A lot of we healthcare workers have seen a lot."

"If you’re not truthful at triage, your care might be less prompt when it’s a true medical emergency."

"It is possible to die of embarrassment."- DocWednesday

Hide Reaction GIF by florGiphy

Things You Can Tell Just By Looking At Them

"If you come into the ER drunk there is guaranteed a pool of bets on your blood alcohol level, possibly with odds if there's a pharmacist available to do the math for us."- K-Tanz

Ensuring They're Surrounded By Love

"In the ICU you spend a lot of time keeping corpses alive until their family comes around or their body gives out."

“'Oh Jesus ain’t ready for her yet!'”

"Yes, Jesus is ready for her; we’re just actively delaying it."- gamerdudeNYC

Maybe Not Just At Hosptials... Just A Thought...

"Not hidden, per se, but for the love of all that is holy, if you insist on bringing your kid into the hospital, do NOT let them crawl or play on the floor."

"The amount of literal blood, urine, poop, and vomit that has been on it and hastily (not thoroughly) cleaned up is, well, a lot."

"The hospital, especially the floors, is NOT a clean environment."

"Added to that, think of all the rooms nurses, doctors, housekeeping staff, etc. have walked into."

"Rooms that have COVID or Norovirus or group A Strep."

"We walked into those rooms and those same shoes walked into other rooms."

"Tl;dr hospital floors are disgusting as f*ck."- duckface08

Baby Crawls Face First Across The Floor GIF by ViralHogGiphy

Not An Exact Science...

"Hospital lab worker here."

"Not particularly scandalous, but most people don't realiZe their lab tests are just very accurate guesses, and have an error range."

"When we say your 'X' is 10g/L, we might actually mean it's 10g/L ± 10-20%."

"I see too many people get extremely worked up about small fluctuations in blood test values that aren't actually in excess of the reference change value, and so technically aren't genuinely different from a previous value."- Hayred

A Decision No One Wants To Make...

"You are doing your 90 year old grandmother a great disservice by making her a full code, she will not survive CPR and her death will be significantly more traumatic because of it."- singlenutwonder

WASH YOUR FREAKIN' HANDS!!!

"I help patients to the bathroom nonstop all day."

"The amount of patients that just leave the bathroom without washing their hands is disgusting."

"If I didn’t hear the sink or soap dispenser your a** is getting led right to an alcohol hand station."- Madamiamadam

Wash Hands Water GIF by Jared D. WeissGiphy

More goes on in a hospital than we're ever likely to know.

If you check out from a hospital healthier than you were when you checked in, that's probably all you need to know.

Even if it's understandable to ask what song the doctor was listening to when you were open on the operating table.


A cat and a dog lying down next to one another.
Photo by Andrew S on Unsplash

We all love our pets.

And be it a dog, cat, parrot, or turtle, we all like to think our pet is cuter and smarter than everyone else's.

Most of the time, that is purely owing to our unending love for them.

But every now and again, we might witness our pet do something truly extraordinary, leading us to believe that our pet truly is the smartest animal on earth.

Redditor CoreyMatthews was curious to hear about the times people were truly blown away by the intelligence of their pets, leading them to ask:

"Pet owners of Reddit, what are some examples of your pet doing something that made your realize how intelligent they are?"

Talk About Coordination!

"I watched both my cats sit in the hallway and roll a ball back and forth between them gently and on purpose."

"They both know how to open doors."- TurbulentStep4399

The Real Truth About Cats And Dogs

"I had a cat that learned to turn on my radio so I would think the alarm was going off and get up to feed him."

"He and my dog would also team up on me in various ways."

"The most memorable was when I had gotten a little water pistol to squirt the cat when he got on the kitchen counter."

"I always kept the water pistol in the very back corner of the kitchen counter."

"I got home one day, and the water pistol was chewed to pieces on the floor."

"It was too far back on the counter for the dog to have reached it by herself (and it’s not the sort of thing she would normally have liked to chew on), so the only explanation is that the cat climbed onto the counter, pushed the water pistol across the counter until it fell on the floor, and then convinced the dog to chew it up."- TheBat3

More Than Most People Can Say About Their Children!

"My 6 month old kitten will alternate bringing his mylar ball to me or my husband to throw--taking turns."

"He plays fetch better than my dog did."

"He puts his toys away at bedtime."

"I have a small basket that we keep his toys in."

"At bedtime, I'll tell him, 'Let's pick up your toys' and he will get any toys that hasn't been eaten by the couch and drop them in his basket."

"No hard balls/toys as he can't pick those up with his mouth."

"I pick up those."- Danivelle

cat playing GIFGiphy

The Female Of The Species...

"I had two Shelties and one large dog bed."

"The female Sheltie did not want to share the bed with her brother, so whenever he was lying on it she would go to the door and start barking like crazy at … nothing."

"He would leap up barking and race to the door to guard the house alongside her and as soon as he got out of the dog bed, she would run back and curl up in the middle of it."

"He never caught on."- NoNefariousness104

Always On The Lookout

"My dog greeted me at the garage door when I got home."

"He then had me follow him to my daughters room, then my sons room, then the front door."

"My mother in law had picked up the kids."

"He was telling me that 'this one and this one are gone and went that way'."

"Let’s go get them!'”- YourFriendInSpokane

Asking Permission Never Goes Unnoticed

"I had a blue heeled mix that was crazy smart."

"Two of many examples:"

"He was occasionally allowed to eat table scraps off of a plate but was never allowed to beg."

"He had to wait until the plate was put on the floor."

"One day I was caught up working on my laptop and had put the scraps from my dinner on the couch on a plate next to me."

"An hour or so went by and I saw him pick up the plate off the couch and put it on the floor so he was allowed to eat it."

"He slept in my room and was getting up in years."

"One night after I was settled in bed he let me know he needed to go outside, thinking an older bladder, I got up to take him out."

"Instead he went to the kitchen and turned to look at me."

"Curious I followed him."

"Same thing , he went to the family room and waited for me."

"When I turned on the light, he went to an end table near the TV where one of my teenagers had left an uneaten piece of fried chicken."

"He stood and stared and it and then turned to me and I swear he asked if he could have it."

"I laughed and took the meat off the bones and put it in the floor for him, after which we both went back to bed."

"How he knew that chicken had been left there is beyond me!"

"I could share dozens of stories like this."

"He was as smart as most humans I know."

"I will miss him forever."- JCKligmann

dog human eating GIFGiphy

Peeing With Purpose

"My mom's cat had a urinary infection."

"So he peed a tiny bit in the bathroom sink and waited by it for my mom to see it."- HyliaSerket

Everyone Wants A Little Attention Every Now And Then...

"A small thing, but my cat will paw at my hand when he wants to be petted."

"The first couple times it happened, I didn't think anything of it, until I realized one day that he basically had me trained/conditioned to pet him whenever he nudged or pawed at my hand."- Square-Raspberry560

And You Thought All They Could Do Was Change Colors

"My chameleon will look me square with both eyes and make a chomping movement with his mouth when he’s hungry."

"He’ll also pat at the glass if he wants to come out."

"He’ll hold a grudge, calculate ways to go or get what he wants."

"One of my Boas will only look at me when hungry."

"She had a go at caudal luring whilst doing it the other day."

"Like 'look, dude, I know you bring the food'."

"I’m hungry, look I’m even trying to lure you to give me some food'."

"It worked."- Ugglug

Giphy

A Kind Gesture Is Never Forgotten

"My brother’s cat, Coconut."

"We live 2,600 miles apart."

"The first time I met her, I gave her a little pink fuzzy kitty toy."

"2-3 years later was the next time I was able to visit her again for the 2nd time ever."

"She immediately disappeared & came back with this filthy, dusty, brown toy that had obviously been hidden away somewhere."

"We dusted it off & it was the toy I had gifted her years before."

"She remembered me."

"My brother said he had never seen the toy again until that day."

"She’s also very precious with her toys & will leave them outside his bedroom door as bribes."- emilyyancey

Innate Obedience

"When she was a baby I said, 'Go get your toy!' in the same pitch I always do."

"Never trained her with that phrase."

"She went a grabbed her toy and came back."

"I tested her again the next day and the next day."

"She went to her toy pile and brought back a toy each time."

"She picked up the phrase by herself."

"She's also the first dog I've had that looks at planes in the sky when they fly overhead and recognizes dogs on TV even on mute."- Spare-Bread8416

Get The Tissue Ready...

"I have two cats and a dog."

"A little backstory about my dog:"

" I don't know anything about dog training."

"I wasn't even thinking about adopting a dog but it seems like it was one of those things that 'meant to be'."

"My sister found him on the street at a winter night."

"We thought he was lost and there is an owner looking for him."

"Because where I live we have so many strays and you wouldn't see many 'specific breeds', they are just strays and specific breeds have an owner 99% of the time."

"So we took him home and start to search for the owner but it was obvious that poor dog went through some sh*t."

"And we learned about his story from an animal society; that he had a few owners but all of them left him to the streets because he was barking a lot (we haven't heard him barking even once during that time), he was peeing everywhere (he did it once and that was probably because he was nervous of being in a new environment and that was it), he wasn't listening at all (we had 3 cats at that time and I said no one time when he tried to run at them and that was it, never did it again)."

"And we learned that he has been in the shelter twice with big wounds."

"And I said I'm not going to let him go through more, he stays with us."

"He learned how to let me know he needs to go out all by himself."

"He learned to pee on the pads all by himself on the days that I can't take him for a walk."

"He learned to give me my slippers when I come home all by himself because I wear slippers when I get home."

" He learned how to clean his face by watching cats doing it."

" I still don't know how to train a dog other than a few basic stuff."

"He just learns."

"That's been a really long comment."

"So I'm going to leave that how I know my cats are clever for another time."

"Thank you for reading my sweet dogs story."

"I'm glad to have him and I don't know who was lucky about all those; me or him."- LittleBitOff2Day

dog pies GIFGiphy

Never underestimate your pets.

As sometimes you have no idea of the things they might see or notice.

Making it all the more important to give them the love and attention they deserve.


When visiting a foreign country, many people like to hide the fact that they are tourists, and make every effort to blend in with the locals.

Even so, most tourists can't help but do a few things that locals seldom or never do, such as taking selfies in front of historic monuments, buying cheesy hats and T-shirts, or going to notoriously crowded places.

If doing these things will more than likely make them stick out like a sore thumb, it also won't exactly put them in harm or danger, as most tourists at least have the good sense to read a blog or guidebook instructing them on how to stay safe while traveling.

The most savvy travelers know that the best place to get advice on what not to do when traveling abroad is not online or in a book, but directly from the locals.

Redditor PM_ME_UR_DOGS_FEET was eager to hear the opinions of people around the world as to what tourists should avoid doing when visiting their country, leading them to ask:

"What should people absolutely not do when visiting your country?"

Moo!

"If you are hiking through the Austrian mountains with a dog, put it on a leash."

"The cows will hurt you if they feel threatened."

"In general, don't disturb the cows and keep away from them."- annadaso

Cows Alps GIF by MeinMontafonGiphy

Not All Creatures Are Cute And Cuddly...

"Approach wildlife, especially when they’re with their offspring."

"The amount of idiot tourists I’ve seen outside their cars within mauling distance of a bear or moose is mind boggling."-GingerMeTimberMate

"Do not touch the bison."

"I don’t care that they’re herbivores and look fluffy."

"They are incredibly strong and will kill you if they’re in a bad mood."- hartywhalers

Bison Yellowstone GIF by Nat Geo WildGiphy

No One Needs To Blend In That Much!

"I live in Barbados."

"Don't wear camouflage."

"It's illegal unless you're a part of the Defense Force."- durants

They Call It The Outback For A Reason

"Don't go for a drive in the outback without making sure you're properly prepared if you get stuck."

"There's a reason you see so many abandoned cars on the highways out there."- thethreekittycats

Back Of The Line!

"UK here."

"Always queue."

"Even if there isn’t a queue, just look around politely and ask whoever’s around if they’re queueing."

"I know this reads like a joke but it really isn’t."

"There’s always a queue, and tourists always ignore it, and that’s usually why tourists get a bad rap in the UK."-fearthe0cean

Literal Red Flag Alert!

"If you're not a strong swimmer, please don't wade out into our ocean expecting that you'll be okay."

"If you want to swim at our beaches, stay between the flags where there are lifeguards on duty."- nightlightened

"Don't swim outside the flags on the beach."- strayainind·

The Beach Summer GIFGiphy

That Some People Would Actually Need A Warning...

"Don't do the Nazi greeting."

"In fact, just don't do it anywhere."

"But especially not in my country."

"Police will arrest you for it."- Mad_Moodin

Or Stand Still In Them For That Matter...

"Don't walk the bicycle lanes."- valthorgallifrey

Be Selective When Sight Seeing

"Don't go to Hollywood expecting something."

"Also, don't spend tons of money just to see famous people's homes on one of those bus tours."

"You should go to all the cool museums around LA though, those are pretty neat."

"And the beaches aren't too bad either."- jgeradsfdh

hollywood GIF by American IdolGiphy

It's Just Plain Rude

"Don't touch the King's guard."- EmperorOfNipples

Or Any Busy Street Anywhere...

"If you’re visiting Brazil, specially a big city, avoid using your smartphone while walking on the streets, as you become more prone to being robbed."- DistantLandscapes

Not the Most PC Name If You Really Think About It

"Order an ‘Irish Car Bomb’ shot."

"Doesn’t exist here, and the name has roots in The Troubles, a dark time in our history that people north and south of the border who are still alive lost people to."- TheIrishninjas

Irish Cream Beer GIF by DrSquatchSoapCoGiphy

Not All Canadians Are So Friendly...

"If you come across Canada, don't ever dare touching our geese, thanks."- ClickWorthy69420

Many tourists enjoy going off the beaten path and veering from the most famous and heavily visited places.

But before straying from the path, it couldn't hurt to get advice from a local on just how far to stray.