Just say what you mean. I always try to. Unless the shade is truly funny.
Weight
And What Hair GIF by LizzoGiphy"You look good for your size."
optionsgirl70
"You’d look really good, you know, if you lost weight. How can they tell unless I look good now?"
MessoGesso
Tardy
“Hey, you’re on time!”
939388383883
"Lol... I'm always late to friend/family gatherings. I can't even get mad when people point it out anymore."
PangolinFit6338
"My friend does this. she also says things like 'wow I'm really impressed you actually pulled that off' and it's a simple task like knowing where to put away f**king flour."
bwofowo
IQ?
"You're smarter than you look."
Tubaplayer1959
"Got hit with this one too! Also that I was actually more interesting than he thought when he first met me. From the overall context I think he really believed he was complimenting me. Thanks..?"
chubbyfingers
Well that's...
"That's certainly a unique..."
Inevitable_Chicken70
"I get this a lot except instead of 'unique' they use the word 'different' with a certain tone to the word and certain pauses around it."
Informal-Amphibian-4
"Or interesting."
runnyOntheInside
Parks And Recreation Donna GIFOh well Bless your heart! See, I can do it as well.
scooby doo glasses GIFACTION!!
"As a director of high school theatre, if a parent says 'it looks like everyone on stage had a good time' it means 'no one in the audience enjoy this show.'"
colbyrosenkrantz
"It is possible for a middle/high school performance to be enjoyable, and it really makes a huge difference. The worst are 3-hour holiday band/choir performances for elementary schools. Your kid is in two songs, but you have to sit through them all and pretend it isn't painful."
Gromky
Cheers!
I used this one in a roast of my ex-boss before he transferred departments:
"The respect and leadership you've shown our team simply cannot be stated."
"Delusions of adequacy. But my favourite was after our marketing director left to go to another college the principal announced that he didn't want us to think of it as losing a valued team member so much as hamstringing the opposition."
Hysterical_Realist
Next to Godliness...
A friend visited (she’d been over many times) and this time when she stepped into our kitchen she said, “wow it’s so clean! :l "
Wrenby
Ha! My Grandpa said recently as he visited my mother's house: "this is the cleanest I have ever seen this place look, well done! She has lived there for 30 years and was, understandably, miffed."
StructureNo3388
Later
Peace Out Goodbye GIF by NETFLIXGiphy"When people say 'see you later' and the person responds 'not if I see you first!' Took me ages to realize they're saying they'll avoid me if they see me before I notice them. Pretty funny when used sarcastically though."
PilotG2-07
The Tops
"Your performance was top of the bell curve!"
ceenyc
"It means you're average."
"Even seen those average IQ charts?"
"It just means there's a lot of people in that area."
Ender_Nobody
ID Please
‘"Are you sure you work here? You look like a teenager.'"
"May not seem like an insult but when you’re trying to be taken seriously at work it can feel degrading to be treated like a child."
BranwenTheRiveter
"As a 5’6 man I feel this. I don’t look young for my age, but everyone talks over me (figuratively and literally) and I have to work twice as hard to command respect all while not trying TOO hard so I don’t get accused of having 'little man syndrome.'"
tracheamusic
Just Pale
"I saw a meme years ago that was like 'I no longer conceal my under eyes because I want the world to know I’m fed up with its sh*t... lol.' My boss said to me recently, 'Omg, do you have a black eye!?!?!?' I said 'Oh I must have a makeup smudge.' Went to the mirror— nope, just very pale and tired."
freckleddeerborn
And you...
Bless Tv Land GIF by Throwing ShadeGiphy"Bless your heart from a southerner is not a compliment."
Lilfrieda
"I always reply with, 'likewise.'"
Julianitaos
Such a mix...
"You're so exotic!!"
kuroobloom
"I’m mixed. I’ve gotten similar compliments from older white men. However, given the context is usually that they’re very positive and tend to be a bit enthralled, I think they mean it as a genuine compliment. They probably haven’t seen a lot of ‘color’ and find it exciting and new. I’ll take that over, 'I thought you were (insert completely wrong ethnicity)' any day of the week."
RavenNymph90
Just Half
Morgan Freeman Applause GIF by The Academy AwardsGiphy"'Alas, eleventy-one years is far too short a time to live among such excellent and admirable hobbits. I don't know half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.'"
The420Wizard
Woah
"Once had someone in high school who said to me 'woah… you're pretty smart for someone with ADHD' what the f**k does that mean? told her to go f**k herself and she cried- not even kidding."
triggerhappypoptarts
"I don't blame you, I kinda wish I had the courage to say 'f**k you' to someone who insulted billions of people right in front of my face."
AngelFrag
Keeping Up...
"I’ve been playing hockey lately, just learned how to skate and what not and been getting pretty average. Keeping up with kids playing scrimmages and what not. My buddy, who played for over 15 years, plays with me sometimes and teaches me things."
"The first time we went skating he taught me how to skate backwards, the next time we played he goes 'you’ve went from someone who can’t play hockey to a bad hockey player.' I think it was his way of saying I’m getting better, but I still have to think that compliment through sometimes lol."
Pokemaster-inaHonda
Just Go
Super Bowl Ok GIF by PepsiGiphy"'See you later.'"
"'Not if I see you first!'"
"It took me so long to realize that phrase actually meant that if that person saw you first they would find a way to avoid you so you don't see them."
jrkorsonret436rfgw
See... we know what you all really mean. You mean girls!
I love a good backhanded comment. Doesn't matter if I'm catching it (which I usually am) or throwing it. It livens up the day. So bring me to the savagery.
Mirror Mirror
Jessica Lange Beauty GIF by FeudGiphy"I love how you'll just wear anything."
- SpooksD2
"I wish I were secure enough to throw on anything and call it an outfit."
The Courage You Have
"Had an ex-manger say my haircut was "brave" because I shaved half my head because I thought it looked cool. "Brave" was really code for "Wow. I think you're stupid for doing that and I'm going to be an a**hole about it."
"One of my favorite CosTubers did that about a week ago--Morgan Donner. She was doing a video about the history of hairstyles and kept cutting her butt length hair shorter and shorter, eventually buzzing it off completely. And I was like, "OMG YOUR BEAUTIFUL HAIR!"
Words
Read Beauty And The Beast GIFGiphy"I have learning difficulties. I've had people say to me when they hear I am a writer "Wow, I'm so impressed someone like you can read!"
"Not a compliment. At all. Lol"
Not Nice
"Related to that is, "You clean up nice". It's basically saying you usually dress and look like crap."
"Unless you mean "Normally I wouldn't have sex with you, but right now I would."
"I thought this was a legit compliment lol. For like formal outfits."
R-E-S-P-E-C-T
"With all due respect… [place rest of non-respectful sentence here]."
"Haha, for some, that may be accurate. As in "given the respect you're due, I'm not actually surprised that blah blah."
- StGir1
"With all due respect, and remember I'm saying with all due respect, that idea ain't worth a velvet painting of a whale and a dolphin getting it on."
Oh honey. I'm familiar with many of those. We as a society are a mess. I say that with all due respect.
Days Gone By
No Way Wow GIF by Disney ChannelGiphy"You look good for your age."
"And while putting down everyone else in your demographic. that's how all these "compliments" work. they're describing you as an exception and insulting everyone like you."
- SinkTube
Good!
"That dress actually makes you look good."
"I wore a new dress to visit a friend and she said "Wow! You look like you actually got dressed on purpose!". It was hilarious rather than hurtful though."
"Good is better than normal but I know not everyone thinks like that so I've learnt to say something else rather than good."
- hubjump
Quite Nasty
"Good for you."
"After that Prius episode on South Park, I have not been able to take a "good for you" seriously. lol"
"This has been my favourite phrase for a while now… incredibly disrespectful but at the same time encouraging. I love it."
You & Me
Cbs Flirt GIF by Paramount+Giphy"Why am I weirdly attracted to you?"
- Poycicle
"Say... I wonder too because I don't go for people like you."
- SPdoc
Precious
- Blinky_
"Judging by how much I see this on reddit most of everyone here lives in the southern USA or something. Was going to stop scrolling in this thread when I saw it, turned out to be the top comment."
"I've found that, if it's preceded with a head tilt and a "ahhhh…" that's usually a sincere "Bless Your Heart". However, if someone says "well just bless your heart," you just got owned or are about to be owned."
You're not worth it...
"You have so much potential…. Meaning you ain't worth a f**k yet."
"I had a manager who constantly used to use that as an excuse to be extra jerkish to me. He said "I can see your potential, so I'm pushing you to do better" like somehow berating me constantly would make me want to work harder. I'm not wasting my potential stocking out a freaking Big Lots taking home less than $10 an hour, Greg. You're not worth it."
Lucky
rude bon qui qui GIFGiphy"It's a good thing you're pretty. One of my teacher's in high school liked to tell me I need to marry someone rich as an insult. I thought it was kinda funny actually."
- RedOps_3
This is why so many of us no longer have friends. Be nice out there and try to keep the savage chatter to a minimum. Or at the very least, just to those who deserve it.
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