There is nothing better than ending a conversation with an exclamation point or a mic drop.
It's especially gratifying when you're in a heated moment.
You always want to say the best thing to get your point across and you want the last word.
Those are the moments you wish were being recorded.
They come far and few.
Redditor 9_Soldiers_In_A_Bear wanted to hear about the times everyone ruled the clap back.
So they asked:
"What’s the most badass thing you’ve accidentally said in the heat of the moment?"
I have a journal full of... "wish I had said that" moments. I need to be more present.
When in High School...
Criticize Lucille Bluth GIFGiphy"I didn’t realize the nature of my comment when I wrote it... but in high school, one of my teachers did end-of-the-year anonymous evaluations. Everyone hated him, and I understood why but I still did well in his class. I wrote 'I don’t have any critiques about your teaching, but I think you should work on being a better person.'"
hannahicebear
"You feeling froggy?"
"Big burly former marine/mercenary from Iraq was back stateside, huge f**king mountain of a man. We came to face each other in one of the narrow corridors of the office where one of us was gonna have to turn sideways. Neither of us turned, but we stopped. I'm 6'1 260 and he still towered over me. He was a nice guy, but still a little... 'conditioned.''"
"I guess you could say or mentally unhinged. He looked me dead in the eye and said, 'You feeling froggy?' It truly was like something out of a movie. Without blinking I replied, 'You better jump.' We both cracked up and turned sideways, while the office breathed a collective sigh of relief."
jvhero
In Particular
"I am a fourth grade teacher and one day I was up at the board and struggling to remember how to spell a particular word. I was trying to make light of it, telling the kids that sometimes adults need help with spelling too. One student replied, 'It is because you were poorly educated. But don’t worry, we are poorly educated too. Double whammy.'"
LapshuNaUshii
Viability
"At work project management undercut and mismanaged a project so badly. They pushed getting minimum viable product out with the goal to roll out improvements later. Product released, they all patted themselves on the back and moved on. Then that minimum viable product broke."
"In a meeting we had with our directors about how its so broken and the cost to fix it etc (no cost too big, unlimited manpower etc) I asked 'How come we couldn't afford to do it right, but we can afford to do it twice?'"
MikeLanglois
People can be very creative at the comeback.
"wrong"
matthew jump GIF by Married At First Sight AustraliaGiphy"A couple months ago, my (now ex) friend was telling me all the things that were 'wrong' with me, and she finished it with" ...and at least I don't have to wear makeup to look pretty.' I was so fed up with her sh*t, so I responded, 'At least I am capable of looking pretty.' She was speechless and I felt like such a bada** because this was the first time I ever stood up to her."
OliviRamon
Sit Down
"I'll never forget the moment a family walked into the local pub I was working at while I was working. This big king-of-the-grill bald alpha patriarch Dad type and his wife and kids came through, I said 'Welcome, where would you like to sit?' And he snapped back 'Well a table would be nice,' and without missing a beat at all I replied 'actually we usually sit on the chairs here,' I'll never forget the satisfaction of that moment or the look on his face haha."
lugh111
hey ladies...
"My uncles were *itching about my dad so I walked into the conversation and told them it wasn't polite to talk about people behind their backs. My uncle turned to me and said I shouldn't interrupt when the men are speaking and completely out of character I replied 'I don't see any men in here' ... boy did I get some s**t that day but that's how I knew I won that exchange."
kebabish
Damage
"I worked in cellphone sales for a few years and a woman came in with a fairly new flip phone (this was 2018 we just still sold them). She was complaining cause one of the sides of the screen was dangling off and said she didn't do anything it just snapped, and demanded a new phone."
"I told her 'that looks like physical damage and we don't have any coverage for that since you didn't buy a phone protection warranty.' She insisted it wasn't physical damage and the phone just sucks and broke itself. She started freaking out and calling me all kinds of names and swinging her phone in my face."
"And then the top half of the phone LITERALLY snapped off and landed on the counter in front of me. I just looked her in the eyes and said: 'Well that was definitely physical damage.' She lost her sh*t at my comment and it was weirdly satisfying."
fizzywaterisfizzy
Pass
Desus And Mero Pass GIF by Bernie SandersGiphy"I was accused of being passive aggressive. I replied 'Which part sounded passive? I don't ever want to come across as passive.'"
kezopster
And mic dropped.
Do you have any comebacks for the ages? Let us know in the comments below.
People Explain Which Things Conservatives And Liberals Can Actually Agree On
We're more alike than different.
That is the mantra all the peacemakers keep trying to drown us with.
But then everytime we turn on a tv all we see is political an ideological infighting.
Apparently there are a few ideas and points of view we can agree on.
I'm skeptical, but I'd love to hear them.
Redditor YellowB wanted to hear about all the ways that maybe we can actually find common ground in this difficult world. They asked:
"What is something that both Conservatives and Liberals can agree on?"
I would hope the end of the world is a big one. We should all want to avoid that one. Right?
SNL
Maya Rudolph Snl GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy"There’s an SNL skit about this. Contestants on a game show have to guess whether someone is a Republican by what they believe, and they can’t figure it out. Statements like '[social media] is bad' and 'Epstein didn’t kill himself.'"
cheesefondue
Chaos...
"That deep down, it feels like we’re never really in control of what happens in the world."
Clavicula_Impetus
"That’s why I don’t like participating in political discussions. A) you’re never going to change someone’s political views by arguing with them about it and B) it really doesn’t matter. The chances of me discussing it actually producing chance might as well be zero."
kazooboy_official
Cheaters
"That congress shouldn't be able to buy, and sell stocks while in office, and should be severely punished for insider trading."
crazyzingers
"A friend of mine works for the lottery and she and immediate family are also banned from ever personally benefitting in any way from lottery winnings. So like if I won the lottery I wouldn’t be able to pay off her house or put her kids through college."
blklab16
Stumping
"I volunteered for Obama and was a heavy Bernie Sanders supporter living in Trump country and I have to say, 'liberals and conservatives' can agree on most things when an actual in-depth conversation happens between them. The arguments typically aren't about the issue but differences in perception, ignorance/prejudice, and major differences in beliefs as to how you can accomplish the mutually desired outcome."
ptbus0
Toppings?
Pizza Pizza Pizza Dancing GIF by Domino’s UK and ROIGiphy"Pizza. Great equalizer. Rich people love pizza, poor people love pizza, white people love pizza, black people love pizza."
jowens42
Pizza. Pizza and SNL. They bring peace.
Miracles
Sad Rabbit GIF by Muffin & NutsGiphy"Cancer sucks."
ianisms10
"You know, I used to think we could agree on eradicating disease, but now I’m not so sure about that."
IAmBadAtInternet
Do they cover invisible jets?
"We don't need an extended warranty for our car."
doctor-mal
"Mess with them. Ask them if that includes modded cars (like a DeLorean with a flux capacitor) custom cars (batmobile), sentient cars (Bumblebee) and if you get a special deal for cars retrofitted with Pym tech since their ability to shrink means they're easily stored safely. Do they cover invisible jets?"
"I love messing with the people who call in. Even better if I can keep it going for a few minutes, slowly escalating the details before they catch on. One set of scammers are catching on - they're starting to hang up when I give them the address for P. Sherman 42 Wallaby Way."
HotCocoaBomb
How High?
"The rent is too damn high."
tenebrous2
"Idk if you're a wealthy property owning person, regardless of political persuasion, you're pretty happy right now. My family member is conservative and talks about raising rents to highest possible because people will pay it. Their boss is a blue-blood liberal who actually does just that. Neither see an issue."
time_wasting_student
Basics...
"My hope is more and more people can agree that the elites use the two party system to magnify our differences, divide us based on class, race, and sex, and keep us distracted and at each other's throats, so that they can continue robbing us blind."
"For example, we're selling billions of dollars of weapons to Saudi Arabia every year which they use for their offensive war in Yemen. Weapons companies and contractors are getting wealthy as f**k, while the common man is squabbling over taking down an old statue or if you need a penis to enter certain restrooms or not."
Omniwing
We need youth...
Getting Old Baby Boomers GIF by MOODMANGiphy"That too many people running this damn country are way too f**king old."
"Age does not care what political alignment you are; at some point, you are just too old to be totally in touch with what's going on and to know what's right for everyone. Frightens me to know so many powerful figures here have probably had onset dementia gnawing at their brain for the last 5-10 years."
mtamaranth
Dear God yes! It's time for some retirements. Please. Let's start there.
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When I'm writing a new script and I come across characters who are destined to be enemies it's aways fun to concoct scorching insults to sling. And right away what you learn from your dramaturge is that less is more. You can eliminate twenty words and infuse them into a ferocious look that leaves the audience heaving. So you realize it's actually quite easy to keep it clean and classy by leaving foul words--though they often send the point home--out first. Hidden meanings in plain sight that leave people in tears are the best.
Redditor u/AvPlayz wanted everyone to share some witty repartee that doesn't require scandalous words by asking..... What is your best insult without swearing?
Schooled
I bet your parents change the subject when their friends ask about you.
I freaking wish they would. Dad just had a laundry list of crap that I needed to change to be more successful.
I got straight A's, lettered in Latin and AP Physics, and took all AP classes, dad. No crap I wasn't getting out for more exercise or doing more pleasure reading-- I had 4 hours of homework a night!
Being Everywhere....
In 2004 I once told a girl, "You're like Visa, everywhere I want to be". She giggled and then went on with her life.
in 2013, while drunk at a wedding after party of one of my best friends, I was sharing stories of dumb things I did as a teen and young adult to a table full of people when a very pretty lady sitting on her fiancée's lap drunkenly slurred out, "Where have you been all my life?" to which I replied, "I'm not sure, but I got here as fast as I could"...
The two of them left soon after that statement was made.
Stay back
Tell The Tea GIF by DreezyGiphyI once asked a girl, "Where have you been all my life?"
Her response was, "I don't know, but I wish I was still there."
Oscar Says...
"You're a conversation starter. Not when you are around but once you leave."
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go."
- Oscar Wilde
Take the Boot
Dad's old one is "couldn't pour pee out of a boot with the instructions written on the heel."
Oh no... this one got me because at first I was picturing someone lifting the boot above their head to read the underside. Took me a few seconds to realize you would flip it over instead. 🤦🏻♂️
Turns out I couldn't pour pee out of a boot.
You own a Mirror?
megan mullally nbc GIF by Will & GraceGiphyCalling them by a characteristic or article of clothing they are wearing.
Whatever you say haircut. Or sure thing sunglasses.
It will bother them long after the comment.
Dumb Luck
I find the fact that you lived this long both surprising and disappointing.
I see that you haven't met some of my neighbors. Here's a good example. One of them lit their yard on fire, forgot they had a garden hose, ran around with a bucket trying to put it out, and then eventually remembered there was a hose.
Did I mention that they are a firefighter so none of these things ought to have happened? I am glad I don't live immediately next to them and that incident has resulted in me having less confidence in my local fire department... for obvious reasons.
Bless your Heart
dumb patrick star GIF by SpongeBob SquarePantsGiphyYour grades say marry rich, but your face says study harder.
Or "honey, you're not pretty enough to be this dumb."
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Some folks just will not allow themselves to be wrong.
People are willing to go to extremes to be right. Sometimes, those things are embarrassing, but sometimes, those things are absolutely 100% justified.
u/vasu1996 asked:
What is the most Extreme thing you've done to win an argument?
Here were some of those answers.
Cheating!
It was my dad, and it was to win a bet. After a snowstorm the snow on the farm had been plowed up into a big pile. My dad and cousin had made a $1.00 bet on how long it would take to melt. They had a date picked, and my cousin had after that date. As the date was approaching it was obvious it wasn't gonna be completely melted. So my dad got on the tractor with the snowplow and spread it out so it would melt faster.
Minor Victory
Landlord said I was smoking cigarettes in the apartment to try and evict me. Bought a couple dozen cotinine urine tests and gave the judge the pictures of all the tests. The case was dismissed with prejudice and the landlord was given a formal warning for lying. I still ended up moving out because the lease was month to month but I still won a small battle against that piece of crap.
Literally Going For Blood
Not me, but my high school Chemistry teacher. He had been arguing for days that "blue blood" isn't actually blue, that's just how your veins look through your skin because the blood is deoxygenated. Our class clown David, however, persisted. Blue blood is blue.
So one day Mr. N went into the science supply closet and came back out with a vacuum and a syringe, pulled up his sleeve and drew blood in front of the whole class into a vacuum to prove that your blue blood is, in fact, just dark red.
David never said it was blue again.
Edward Cullen Eat Your Heart Out
I read every Twilight book because "you can't criticize it if you haven't read it". They're sucky books, but I have earned my opinion and can back it up with facts now.
Bam, I Got Us Lost
I was driving back from London with the wife and we were on the M25 (For those that don't know, the M25 is a large motorway that goes around the perimeter of London... Like a giant roundabout with London in the middle) and my wife thought as were on the A12 heading towards Essex so as we're driving along she sees me signalling to go in to the lane signposted for Chelmsford (we needed to go that way as we live in Essex) and she said "Why are you coming off at Chelmsford", I explained that if we didn't we'd be miles away from home, she argued with me and refused to believe we were on the M25 so I stayed on it.
Note - It was 7pm, we had spent the day shopping and I had a car full of ikea furniture in the back.
We're driving along and suddenly she starts seeing signposts for Watford. She's like "Why are there signposts for Watford, that's in Hertfordshire, that's miles from home"
I was like well, you wouldn't let me come off at Chelmsford so we're now going to have to go right around the M25 to get back home... She started effing and jeffing but apologised so I turned off at Harlow which is inbetween Chelmsford & Watford... I was probably a 30 mile detour but it was worth it
My Own Hardship To Be Right
Insisted the lost item wasn't where my mum said it was, ran upstairs before she could, obviously found it where she said it was and so I did the only reasonable thing I could and hid it. Waited a good week to 'find' it again.
Fake Hair, Fake Values
Not me but a high school friend on thanksgiving got into an argument with his Uncle of a polar opposite political vantage point.
Started as just shouting and nothing really to write home about, but it began escalating to the point where he called my friend just an "idealistic kid who doesn't know sh*t about the real world" which prompted my friend to yell "real funny coming from a man with fake hair!!"
Room goes silent and his uncle is fuming. He rips off his toupee and throws it against the wall.
Then proceeds to scream "YOU HAPPY NOW???" before continuing the argument.
When You Need Evidence Of Your Own Words
Secretly recorded her, and then played back her own words when she denied saying what she said.
She tried to gaslight me so often that I bought a recorder just for her.
Fake Funeral
I made a post on Facebook that my sister didn't like. She's in her 50's. She made fun of me in a comment on the post so I commented back that she doesn't know what's she's talking about. My sister does not like to be told off. She thinks she is better than everyone and that no one has a right to speak to her if they disagree. She is against gays and she says all black people are prejudiced against white people because they are jealous. I put up with a lot of stupid ideas just to have her in my life. Well once I commented back to her on my Facebook page, she lost it. Sent me a nasty message then put me on block. I have a few pages on Facebook for other things and she went to all those pages and told me off as well.
So I told Facebook she was dead. They memorialized her account within 24 hours and she could no longer sign in.
Try Being A Little Nicer, Bucko
When I was 18 I worked at a bar/restaurant. The manager kept me working in the bar, then after three months, made me work as a waiter in the restaurant. I wasn't told any of the procedures (like, does this meal come with a extra bit or how to work the washer), but he insisted I should know because I'd been there three months. Even though I'd working in a completely different area.
Anyway on this night the dude that owned the place was in. The manager yelled at me to take something out the back. While I was out the back (and alone), I decided to fake a limp as though I'd had an injury.
When I fake-limped back into the restaurant, the owner called me over and asked if I was alright. I said "yes, it hurts, but I'm trying to keep up with everything. This is my first night on the floor and I'm not familiar with all the procedures. I'll try harder."
The owner then got angry with the manager because it looked terrible that one of the waiters was limping around and that he needed to look after the staff better.
I went home early with a full night's pay. Obviously I didn't work there much longer.
Probably the pettiest thing I've ever done... but that manager was really quite out of line, I thought.
People Share The Stupidest Arguments Others STILL Continue To Use
It's hard to believe that certain things still continue to be argued, even if they have already been debunked a million times over. But some people just like to stick to their guns when it comes to their beliefs, even if they may not entirely make sense. Here are some of Reddit's dumbest arguments.
u/Vectorman_Ballz asked: What is a stupid argument that people STILL keep using?
Fair point.
"Well I did [unsafe thing] and I turned out fine!" Yeah, that's because the people who died doing it usually don't speak up about it much.
I hate when this is in the context of unsafe food (eg, frozen chicken that my previous roommate left to thaw in the fridge for 2+ weeks). I'm an epidemiologist and have worked on foodborne outbreaks, this is literally my job. Death is irreversible, so of course you haven't died from it, but it sure as sh*t will give you the runs (the actual outcome we're actually worried about). And stop contaminating my f*cking kitchen with your unsafe food practices, TRISHA.
This is true.
Giphy"Don't eat that, do you know it has chemicals in it?"
Everything has chemicals in it. Be specific about what is dangerous then.
That's messed up.
"I had a sh*tty childhood and I turned out fine." If you're making your kid's childhood sh*tty just because of that reason, you did not turn out fine.
My mom had the same logic and I admit that I unconsciously absorbed it. Now I'm doing everything I can to break the cycle.
Bad excuse.
"But it's Christmas" to try get anything they want.
For example, I'm a bar manager, group comes in 20 minutes after service stopped trying to get a drink,
"Sorry we've stopped serving." "But it's Christmas you should serve us!"
Unfortunately your £20 in the till isn't worth the potential loss of my personal license.
F*cking Gail.
GiphyTrust. "We just need to trust the people we work with." The entire reason I'm bringing this is up is because Gail is a moron. Why is this being turned on me?
Doesn't stop me from doing it.
Microwaving your food is bad because of the radiation.
Now I can microwave my ramen in a styrofoam cup!
So dumb.
It's my opinion and facts shall not change it.
Facts are meaningless. You can use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true. Facts schmacts.
Always be careful.
GiphyWhen you're explaining to them about Internet privacy they say, "why should I care I don't do anything wrong?"
I've heard this argument used for DNA databases too. Particularly for mandated paternity tests at birth.
It's not that I'm worried it's not my kid, or that I've committed a crime and am worried I'll be caught. It's that I absolutely don't trust any company or government to not cock it up and either accidentally link me to something or maliciously implicate me.
That doesn't make sense.
You changed your opinion based on new information, that shows weakness and untrustworthiness.
Isn't this what you're supposed to do? Aren't people ridiculed for not doing this?
TRUE.
The one that sh*ts me off is 'Natural = good/healthy', and that 'Artificial = bad/unhealthy'
As if our species hasn't spent millennia creating un-natural buildings and cities for comfortable living, or developing un-natural vaccines and antibiotics to treat all the very natural diseases that have killed billions.
Fair.
Giphy"If your friends jumped off a bridge, would you?" At this point I wouldn't need friends to do that.
Truth.
Just because someone in school has a lower grade than so and so doesn't make them stupid. The grading system has to be looked at more in detail than a percentage.
Listen up, parents.
GiphyMy least favorite is probably "Because I said so" What in the hell is that supposed to mean? It means that there is no logical reason for why you're denying what I'm asking of you, other than that you're lazy.