While we're not all aiming to be manipulative of the people around us, sometimes we could use a trick or two to be more successful around the people around us.
Redditor Aggravating_Taste821 asked:
"What are some dark psychology tricks that actually work?"
Make Them Agree
"Nodding your head up and down slightly when you want someone to agree with what you are saying."
- SumerianProgRocker
Be Inclusive
"Change the perspective from I to we, and people will automatically align themselves with you."
- fckmelifemate
Consistent Influence
"If you say something often enough, people will start to believe it after a while. And once a couple more people are saying it, it will exponentially explode through whatever population is listening."
- Generic300
Stay Accountable
"It's not really dark but every mistake I make at work, I go out of my way to admit to. For some reason that makes me more trustworthy."
- Freaksenius
Hold Coworkers Up
"I admit when I mess up and also go out of my way to sing the praises of anyone that helped me. Makes people want to work with you and why not? That's who I want to work with."
"Be honest, don't throw people under the bus, and telegraph your thank yous and you can ask for plenty of favors."
- crazyrich
Connect with Them
"Related: Ben Franklin suggested that if someone seemed cold to you, ask them a small favor. (I think he mentioned borrowing a book?)"
"After you return the book and we're sufficiently appreciative, that person would likely be less cold in the future."
- ISwearIUsedToBeSmart
Perspective Matters
"If you make a favor seem bigger than it is before asking it, the person on the receiving end is much more likely to help."
"'Babe, can you do me the biggest favor ever? Can you turn off the light when you come to bed?"'He would have done it anyway, but now he feels like a hero."
- SuperDuperStoney
Stay Quiet
"Not really a dark trick but one that I've found effective, when someone's being rude to you stay completely silent and stare at them. It'll make them feel incredibly uncomfortable and they'll usually act civilly after a few moments."
"**DISCLAIMER** Do not do this to people who are exhibiting aggressive behavior, and/or whilst in an unsafe non-public environment. This is a tactic meant to be used on otherwise mature adults in safe environments."
- Natasha_JB
UNO Reverse
"I had a manager who would scream at me and drive me to tears. I got sick of it, so I sat there staring at her and almost burst out laughing as her rant trailed off."
"She got quieter and said, 'Let's just forget the whole thing and move on.' She never yelled at me again."
- Beth_The_Alien_GF
Make Eye Contact
"Staring at peoples forehead irritates them quite a lot."
- Equivalent-Wealth-39
Manipulative or Oblivious?
"One thing that my dad does, that he may be completely unaware of, is when you give him good news he always exaggerates it back to you, thus forcing you to downplay your own accomplishment. I honestly don’t think he’s consciously doing it, but it drives me absolutely crazy."
"Hey, I have amazing news! I got promoted to vice president."
"That’s great! Wow, so senior vice president?”
“No, just a vice president.”
“Oh, well that’s still good.”
"And now the wind is all out of my sails."
- RawbM07
Just Answer the Question
"If someone doesn't want to give you specific information, like tuition costs, or hours expected, give them an example that's completely unreasonable. They will usually immediately give you an exact number and feel embarrassed for pretending not to know."
"Example: Me: How much does your C++ course cost?"
"Them: It really depends on what your goals are."
"Me: Don't you have a beginner's course? Can you give me a price range?"
"Them: We can work with you to fit your individual needs."
"Me: Okay, fine. So is it, like, $10 for access to all your courses, or..."
"Them: Oh, no. We have a subscription for $99 a month, it you can buy the beginner's course for $120."
"Not useful very often, but it works every time."
- Ender367
Wait for It
"Silence. If you want to know something, ask the question then wait. People want to fill the silence and will talk and talk."
- stormbrewing_
Back to Work
"If someone is bothering you at your desk too often, continue the conversation but get up and walk them back to their desk."
"I had a boss who was a guru at this. You'd be back at your desk, wondering how the f**k you got there."
- FrozenBanana46
Prepare Yourself
"Just gonna say that if you familiarize yourself with a lot of the things said here, you can more easily guard yourself against others who attempt to use them on you."
- Vittaminn
Some Redditors felt like they'd already been doing some of these forever, while others felt fundamentally groundbreaking, but either way, these could make a positive change in someone's life.
Brainwashing and mind control.
Those are some of the best plot points in my soap operas.
The mind can be swayed.
We all know that there are little tricks and ticks we can use to influence others.
We just have to figure out the best ways to do it.
Not for evil purposes.
Heck psychiatrists do it every day.
And the FBI.
Why can't we?
Redditor PM_ME_UR_PUPPYDOGS wanted to discuss the best ways to manipulate the mind and asked everyone to share a few thoughts:
"What is the most effective psychological 'trick' you use?"
I need tricks to trick people and I need tricks for me. I have a pen and paper.
Silence
Zip It Amazon Studios GIF by Amazon Prime VideoGiphy"When you’re talking to someone, they will naturally fill silence. It’s subconscious. If you want them to keep talking, keep your own mouth shut. This is useful if you’re ever in a verbal altercation."
Trauma_Sturgeon
'I dunno, anything'
"One that I picked up from a friend of mine whenever he was trying to pick out dinner with his gf: rather than ask 'What do you want?' and getting the typical 'I dunno, anything' answer and then having suggestions shot down. Start with 'What do you NOT want?' Used it a few times in some of my relationships and it's the godsend question."
FartKilometre
Changes
"I work front desk in a medical office. Patients hate updating their paperwork. I used to say, 'look through the pages and make any changes.' They would groan and reluctantly take the paperwork, or just complain about it. Now I say, 'ALL YOU HAVE TO DO is make changes.' Saying it that way makes them think it’s not much to do and they take the clipboard without complaint. It’s the little things that make life at my office easier."
Staceybunnie
hello and smile
"Saying hello to everybody you know, and with a smile. Often people who know each other from when they were in primary school or just from the block when they were young give each other an awkward smile instead of an happy goodday! Just imagine... if someone walks into you twice a year and both times you smile and greet them enthusiastically, they will think of you as a nice person."
"So little effort for a person to find you friendly!"
sjuulbakkie
Be Still
Listen GIF by The Maury ShowGiphy"Listening to someone without giving advice or pushing for more information typically nets me more information than being pushy for it."
Drewby5
Tell me the 411. I'm listening...
'did you hear that?'
Yep Reaction GIF by C H A R L Ö T T EGiphy"When somebody shy is speaking, if you look at them and nod your head it encourages them to keep talking."
"I'm hard of hearing, I've spent a lot of my life nodding at my family to show I've heard and understood so they don't ask 'did you hear that?' I do it at work, especially in meetings. I get a lot of attention from the speaker as I look like the only person actively listening."
nikkibic
Derren Brown
"This isn't something I've used but I think it's worth sharing. Derren Brown said that once there was a muscley drunk guy that wanted to beat him up and said the classic 'what are you looking at?" Derren replied with 'the wall outside my house is four feet tall.'"
"The idea is that it puts the aggravated person on the back foot and takes them out of that adrenaline filled state. Anyways he sat down and the guy started crying to him about his gf. He is Derren Brown though so I wouldn't recommend this to everyone."
Lock Eyes
"I used this technique at University where I couldn't stand the thought of having to answer questions in front of a group of people. So if you find yourself in a group situation where someone (a leader, tutor, manager etc) is asking questions that must be answered and you want to avoid being picked so that you don't have to talk, then here is my tip."
"If the person locks eyes on you as they ask the question, then just as they are about get to the end of their question you break eye contact and look towards another person in the room and hold it. Their attention is diverted to that other person just as the question ends and the person they are now looking at feels compelled to answer."
"If however the person starts asking the question while looking at someone else then look at that other person and hold it so you can't get suckered. Use it sparingly because if you do it enough on the same person, they will be on to you."
Ferg_NZ
Nice Gossip
"To avoid workplace drama and be well liked is to just compliment people behind their back."
"My co-workers can get a little catty sometimes. When they're griping to me about something someone else did I just shut it down with 'X is just so great with customer service though', or some compliment about the person they're complaining about. Works like a charm, and sends the message 'I'm not going to feed into this crap, so go away.'"
Puru11
Melody
Moving The Simpsons GIFGiphy"Music. Putting headphones in and playing the music that I know I’d want to hear if I was in the mood that I want to be in shifts me over to that mentally, and really helps when I need to calm down or when I need to feel happier."
sunflowersfornudes
I am going to try all of these options.
The following has nothing at all to do with Bernie Madoff, the white collar criminal.
But it has everything to do with new discoveries and they way they seem to haunt you, appearing everywhere the minute new knowledge has you taking note.
The Baader-Meinhof Phenomenon describes when something you've just seen, experienced, or learned about suddenly seems to appear everywhere you look. It's otherwise known as the "recency illusion" or "frequency illusion."
The whole thing is really an ever-growing, vicious spiral of brain activity.
When your brain learns something knew it subconsciously decides to look for that thing, and uses selective attention to do so. Whenever that selective attention successfully finds the thing it seeks, you experience confirmation bias and irrationally conclude that the thing occurs more frequently than it ever has. Really, you've just become better at seeking it.
Nevertheless, that irrational conclusion of greater frequency serves to jazz up your brain, so you look even harder.
Aaaaand paranoia.
u/oditogre asked, "What have you been experiencing [the Baader-Meinhof Phenonemon] with, lately?"
So Much for Trend-Settin’
This always happens to me when i buy a new coat or when i bought my car. All of a sudden I'm noticing them everywhere.
Impressive to Pull Out at Parties, Though
I could swear I've read the word 'Liverpudlian' (somebody / thing from Liverpool) like 6 times this weekend and never before then.
GiphyIt's About Time, Friend
I watched the Princess Bride for the first time recently. I'm now seeing references to it everywhere.
It Does Not Mean What it Says it Means
The word "gaslighting." I learned what it meant couple of weeks back and the amount of times I see that word everyday is insane.
Gahhhh Inception
I literally explained what this phenomenon was to my husband when I was experiencing it yesterday. And then I said that I'd probably start hearing about the phenomenon itself.
And......here it is.
GiphyToo Many Babies, Not Enough Earth!
Pregnant women. I'm pregnant and now everyone is pregnant.
It is Real. It is Doing Stuff.
Connecticut. One day i was in the car and i was like "why don't i ever hear any new stories that mention Connecticut? I'm pretty sure it's made up."
I even googled Connecticut just to make sure it is a state. Now i see Connecticut everywhere in the news.
Not Baader-Meinhof. Just Excellent, Relevant Children's Programming.
Man, in grade school I used to constantly learn about a new subject only to go home and have the exact same subject come up in a Magic School Bus episode.
Giphy"Where's My New Jersey Plates Log!"
My wife has started noticing that the letter L is the fourth position on an NJ license plate. I have no idea what to make of this.
One Single Time Would've Sucked. Several is the Pits.
I keep seeing and hearing about a two-headed goose.
Saw a little statue at the store, heard a random story from someone at the next table over, saw one in a book, etc.. there have been about 6 encounters so far.