Whoops!: Common Mistakes People Make In Their 30s
Reddit user cthulhu34 asked: 'What’s a common mistake people make in their 30s?'
Most people think that by the time they're in their 30s, they'll have their life together.
It's only when they get to that point that they realize that's not totally true.
Maybe those in their 30s have a job, are in a serious relationship, and have a home. Perhaps they're married or have kids.
However, that doesn't mean they don't make mistakes.
According to Reddit, people in their 30s make all kinds of mistakes, and Redditors are ready to share what those mistakes are.
It all started when Redditor cthulhu34 asked:
"What’s a common mistake people make in their 30s?"
Toxicity
"Stay in unhealthy toxic relationships."
– Lavenderplatte
"Alternatively, leaving healthy relationships because you’re bored and want to have fun."
– numenik
Too Scary
"Romanticizing your 20s and fearing your 40s. (live where you are)."
– theresites
"This is so good. So easy to romanticize the past and fear the future. Life is organic and so are we. We will keep changing and often times in a good way (stronger, wiser, more confident etc.). I'm so happy to be who I am at 37."
– iamnottheuser
Compare and Contrast
"Comparing their lifestyle to other 30-somethings."
– Affectionate_Item_51
"This is a good one. Your peer’s success can seem perfect from afar and make you feel inadequate."
"But if you sit down and talk with them you will learn all sorts of shortcomings and difficulties in their life that will make you appreciate something about yourself and your situation."
"In other words we all just out here tryna function."
– ThunderBobMajerle
It's Never Too Late
"Thinking they are too old. Never too late to switch career paths or look for a new relationship or start taking care of your health."
– Mans_Got_Cheaks
"Almost 40, just started my MBA. Never too old!"
– AbsoluteCP
"It's absolutely never too late. I'm 42 and honestly feel like everything is getting better, ESPECIALLY dating and relationships in general. It's a relief to finally know myself and what I want."
"Also, I'm returning to study next year and looking forward to a career change. Having a beginner's mindset, always curious and learning. My dad is an inspiration, her had a stroke in his 60's and changed his life. After he recovered, he got a divorce, moved countries and decided to study medicine. He's now in his 70's living this dream and working as a doctor. It's never too late!"
"I feel and look younger than when I was 30! I know many people well into their 60's and 80's with this growth mindset and I'm determined to be like that until I die."
– Tank_Grill
Healthy Living
"Not exercising enough and eating a crappy diet. You can't get away with those things anymore like you did in your 20's."
– DeathSpiral321
"My doc told me at the end of last year that I'm not 16 anymore and now is the time in my life where I get to decide whether I want to see my daughters grow up or whether I wanna die of a heart attack in my 50s. Sh*t cut deep but I got the message lol."
"Dropped 40 pounds since January and might be in the best shape of my life tbh."
– Misdirected_Colors
Friends Forever
"Your 30s is when you are really in the thick of "adulting". It's easy to loose focus on what is really important to you among all the demands and responsibilities."
"Not Fostering Friendships: As you enter your 30s, maintaining and nurturing friendships becomes more challenging. It's a time when connections can fade, and forming new ones becomes harder. It's very important to invest effort in the friendships you currently have. Edit: A few people have commented about what to do when people don't reciprocate? My advise - keep trying! Everyone is under water in their 30's, they likely won't be able to make every attempt at outreach you make. But over time as things become less hectic they will remember you kept trying (without guilt) and will appreciate it and come back to you. But toxic people, yeah cut those out!"
– hyperside89
Romance
"Not Nurturing Your Romantic Relationship: Responsibilities increase in your 30s like careers, parenthood, and caregiving for aging parents. It's common for the most crucial relationship – your romantic partnership – to be inadvertently neglected. Avoid taking your partner for granted, assuming they'll always be around, or treating them as an outlet for your worst moments."
– hyperside89
Be Who You Are
"Not Preserving Your Identity: Similar to the previous points, your 30s come with a whirlwind of conflicting priorities that can lead you to lose touch with your identity. It's easy to forget what truly brings you joy and satisfaction. Maintain a hobby that gives your life purpose and regularly reflect on whether your job still fulfills your needs in terms of purpose, financial stability, and overall satisfaction."
– hyperside89
"I'm 33 and in the process of rediscovering who I am, what I like doing beyond just 'filling in time' and how I like to present myself. It's scary to be caught off guard by the realisation that you don't know you and just as scary trying to start down a path to change that."
"I'm happy with my job and my role as a mother. But as an individual... I just feel like a crusty 90's kid, wearing 00's fashion and focusing on everyone else's needs because it's hard to find a direction for me that will 'spark joy'. I want my wonder and whimsy back!"
– Makasaurus
Change Always Happens
"Thinking you're a finished product, not likely to change all that much."
– kat_Folland
"Have you tried not moving in the ocean? It’s damn impossible. You can’t be stagnant in the turmoil of this world."
– quanoey
NOT Forever Young
"Biggest mistake I made in my 30's was not enjoying them more."
"Young enough to party, still play some sports, and perfectly in place in any bar. You have energy, you have a circle of friends (that will get smaller, trust me)."
"Try to carpe a diem every once in a while, the decade passes VERY quickly."
– hockeynoticehockey
"Do whatever you can while you are young. 30s is a peak time. I'm 64 now, forced into early retirement, and I can't do half the things I "thought" I would be able to do in "retirement". Can't bend to do gardening, can't climb the ladder to get into the pool, can't handle a walk for more than a few minutes due to arthritis and more. I'm mentally "still young" but my body is telling me otherwise."
– saywhat1206
Life Is Tough
"Got laid off at 32? Just said F it, got 2 degrees in different fields (37 now). But I kept expenses really low and saved/invested a lot of money when I did work. I went from medical research, to analytics, to education, to computer science now."
"30's...uhhh not starting investing by 35, because that's the last stop on the compounding train."
"Also, I see people get wrecked by bad marriages/relationships. That's probably one of the biggest wealth and happiness destroyers I've seen."
"Also, waiting over the fertility window. People tried to have kids later on and it looks like an absolutely expensive brutal experience with the OBGYN visits and the $15k USD IVF rounds (multiples). Then dating over your thirties seems like a hopeless market from what I can see. I never really tried so I dunno (data analyst in me looked over the stats as a 5'7 East Asian male in North America, I'm out!)..."
"Oh yeah!!! Health! Working out is crucial. After 40 it gets super tough to achieve any exceptional fitness goals. That's the best case scenario. Some people come down with nasty metabolic diseases like diabetes, and the CVDs - hypertension, cholesterol, and heart disease - these are very difficult to reverse and they kind of stick to you with more aggressively the longer they persist."
"Also, daily brushing/flossing, apparently dentists are expensive in older age. Brushing avoids cavities, flossing avoids gum disease and cavities."
"Also, not constantly learning about economics and economic/social/technological/political trends, because the pace of technology will wipe out people's economic opportunities faster than their head can spin. I see a lot of people get broad sided by economic malaise because they didn't get their financial house in order before a crisis hit. Life can be rough!"
– Deleted User
I'm not 30 yet, but I sure will learn from these stories!
The Absolute Worst Things Someone Can Say After Sex
Reddit user AMGBOI69420 asked: 'What’s the worst thing you can say right after having sex?'
Who knows the perfect thing to utter after a night of carnal passion?
It's especially vexing after a first time together.
All that anticipation and wonder can be surpassed or completely destroyed.
So often, every syllable can count.
But there is certainly a list of what not to do in these situations.
And... they're pretty basic.
Redditor AMGBOI69420 wanted to discuss all the best ways to ruin the moment, so they asked:
"What’s the worst thing you can say right after having sex?"
The worst I have ever said to someone is, "Morning. Sorry, I forgot your name."
Oh BOO!!
Friends Tv GIFGiphy"My ex-husband was a virgin when we met. After his first time, he said, 'I don't know why people seem to enjoy that so much.'"
"THANKS, BOO."
StrangersWithAndi
Wow Really?!
"True story..."
"My partner and I of 8 years lost our virginities to each other. He grew up in a very sex-sheltered home and I grew up in a sex-positive one. We waited until our second-year anniversary, as we wanted to make sure he was ready before we started."
"We had sex and I thought it was great, but he gets up and puts his underwear back on, muttering."
"'That wasn't worth it.'"
"God d**n it hurt, but he was referring to the anxiety he had over sex, not the sex itself. We laugh about it now."
Eas_Mackenzie
I Tried
"I think I'll go back to being gay."
AlertWar2945
"Reminds me of an episode of King of the Hill where Hank finds out Peggy lost her virginity to her friend to see if he was really gay."
"I just remember Peggy talking about how unsure he was about it but after doing the deed with her how extremely sure he was that he was gay."
No-Significance2113
Check
"Now let’s go over your performance review."
repwin1
"You joke but I had a guy send me a Google form after sex so I could give him feedback on how he did."
single-left-sock
"Honestly though that would be hilarious. Like after you're done you reach under the bed and pull out a clipboard with a bunch of things in a checklist and a review section, then sign and stamp it and give it to them."
yamanamawa
I wish I could say I believe that no person could say these things, but... I know people.
Why cheat? Why?
No Touching
"From a former FWB who never cuddled after sex and when I asked him once he said he had to leave to 'defrost some hot dogs for a party tomorrow' …a party that I wasn’t even invited to."
FishyBricky
"I mean, if he communicated with you that he did not want to cuddle and did not want anything deeper than just sex, I don't see why you'd be upset. It's really important to communicate each other's intentions before doing it."
DrizzlyEarth175
"To be fair, cuddling after sex releases oxytocin, which can increase bonding in ‘couples.’ FWB was probably scared of catching feelings."
"F**king hot dogs though!? 😆 that’s funny (now)."
ScumBunny
Keep it in the Family
"Pretty good but your mom was better."
tempestae
"I have said this. Or close. Got into a relationship with a girl whose mum, ten years previously I had hooked up with orally. She knew and thought it was funny. In fact one Xmas she was doing Xmas Dinner. Said 'Dan, mum will be here in an hour... help me in the kitchen. I'm not leaving you two in a room together.'"
rumbunkshus
Introductions
Big Brother What GIF by Big Brother After DarkGiphy"What's your name again?"
Leocut78
"I had a girl ask me what HER name was right before. I had no idea. She didn’t leave (or tell me her name)."
PredictBaseballBot
I’ll never forget...
"Not sure if it’s the worst but I know it hurt. I was dating this guy is hs, a varsity jock, and really cute. I could’ve sworn he had women, anyways we start dating. The first time we hooked up it sucked so bad, I looked him dead in the eye and asked him if he was a virgin. I swear the look on his face is something I’ll never forget."
AuraRiver
Well that is a whole lot of therapy bills.
I get that sometimes words just fall out of our mouths, but Lord show a little decorum.
Not to startle any of you, but death stalks us.
We all have nightmares about diseases and murderers.
But what if, in the end, we just choke on a pickle we inhaled too fast?
Maybe instead of a pickle, a little coleslaw would have been the wiser choice.
We'll never know.
The most minute things can send us packing.
Redditor SuffocatedByThighs wanted to discuss the things that can extinguish our lives in the most basic ways, so they asked:
"What simple mistake has ended lives?"
Tripping over untied shoelaces.
It can break your neck.
TIE YOUR SHOES!!!
Off the Rocks
On No Falling GIF by Outside TVGiphy"There have been too many instances of rock climbers rappelling off of the ends of their ropes, which could have been easily avoided by tying stopper knots at the ends of their ropes."
LZRDLZRD
Seconds
"I worked at a tire place for a summer and the first thing they told me was 'See that torque wrench? One mistake with this and you can kill a whole family in a matter of seconds.' I thought well, better take this thing seriously."
FrenchMicrowave
"Man for a second I was thinking 'F**k you'd have to swing that thing around fast to take out an entire family' and just bluescreened on the idea of changing a tire."
lurking_my_a**_off
How Vexing...
"THERAC-25. The world’s deadliest software error. Cost several radiation patients their lives by administering lethal amounts of radiation, and for a while, the doctors didn’t even know."
Longjumping_Event_59
"THERAC-25 suffered a particularly vexing sort of error known as a race condition. Essentially, the circuit required multiple inputs in a particular sequence, but sometimes the timing of that sequence could get thrown out of whack and it would lead to all sorts of nonsensical output."
"This is less than ideal when all you're doing is manipulating pixels, but when your software is handling radiation beams you really don't want this to happen."
"Even more vexing is that race conditions are frequently heisenbugs, which can vanish altogether when one attempts to study them. If you don't have a good idea of what's causing the error, you may never cotton on to what sort of bad input is required to test it. Under those circumstances, it's easy to write them off as imaginary, only to then find."
dancingmadkoschei
Heavy Drifting
"Leaving the stranded vehicle on the road in winter and trying to walk to get help. It happens in rural parts of our province once or twice a year and they find the body a few days later. They get disoriented and freeze."
Regina_Runner
"I got blown off a road in high winds. Heavy drifting. Less than a mile from a friend's house after I had turned around. Drifts made it impossible to complete the trip. Trying to run a mile in full blizzard conditions was a fight for my life as an in-shape 24-year-old male athlete.
"rotyag
Simple Slips
Uh Oh Omg GIF by BounceGiphy"Almost any simple mistake can end a life if you're an anesthesiologist, that's how my grandpa died in his early 60s."
dwserps
Any second. Any moment.
Stay vigilant people.
Celibacy could be better...
Oh My Wow GIFGiphy"Not being honest with doctors about Viagra. It has many dangerous drug interactions and can cause a lot of problems from what I’ve heard. Trust me the doctor ain’t gonna judge you guys, they have seen many more embarrassing things. And it would suck to die because you wanted to hide something just for it to be later stated in your death certificate."
The_upsetti_spagetti
Check the Numbers
"As a healthcare worker, giving the wrong amount of insulin."
UzumakiHorror
"During the first shift of my first clinical rotation in nursing school, I watched a nurse draw up insulin out of an auto-injector pen that was CLEARLY marked to specifically not do that AND she was drastically wrong about the dosage and almost killed a guy by giving him essentially like a hundred times the intended dose."
someguynamedg
Stay In
"Pulling the knife out of someone."
rcadephantom
"Yeah, I did that but it was a broken tree branch that had impaled my leg. Without even thinking I pulled it out. Blood started gushing so I pulled off my shirt and tied it into a pressure bandage. I was lucky I didn’t bleed to death."
Olddog_Newtricks2001
"Shock is an IQ reducer. I once sliced a bit off the side of my hand with a broken glass, and sort of dazedly picked off the piece of me and tried to stick it back on. It did not work."
UncannyTarotSpread
Stay Dirty
"Mixing cleaning ingredients."
Jonnysource
"My dad was trying to unclog his kitchen drain and mixed drain cleaners by adding one then adding another a few minutes later. It started bubbling and he began coughing intensely. I heard him coughing from the other room, saw what happened, and opened the nearby window to get rid of the chlorine gas he just produced."
"I forgot there was a large hive of wasps that had moved into that window and they did not appreciate this unexpected interruption. I took him to the emergency room for the gas exposure and it was tough explaining that the wasp stings were not why we were there."
CharmingTuber
Dear God
Jeff Goldblum What GIF by The Late Late Show with James CordenGiphy"A friend’s husband locked himself out of their home. He tried to get in through a window that had security bars. While squeezing through his foot slipped and he essentially hung himself on the window sill."
Cokej01
Life is fleeting. Here is proof.
LIVE!! But live smart.
People Who Accidentally Sent A Family Member A Nude Picture Describe The Aftermath
Why in this day and age are people still taking nudie pics without triple-checking the recipient?
Why take the gamble?
And half of the time we hit send, mistakes get made.
One minute you're feeling sexy, the next minute grandpa is having a stroke.
Be careful.
Redditor Im_A_Freakin_Joke wanted to hear about the times people have sent photos to the family that left everyone SHOOK, so they asked:
"Redditors who accidental sent a family member a nude, what was the aftermath?"
I have done many things, but I never allow a snapshot.
Gross
Vacuuming Clean Up GIF by MashedGiphy"'You should clean your room before you take that.'"
Emergency_faceplant
What's What?!
"I meant to send it to someone on WhatsApp that I was dating at the time and didn’t realize I accidentally sent it to my brother, their names were next to each other in my chat list and I chose the wrong one. I frantically called my sister in law and told her what happened and begged her to go into his phone and delete the message with the photo."
"This is before WhatsApp added the functionality to delete your own messages. She was so sweet and understanding and deleted the message. I was so embarrassed. To this day she has kept my secret, this happened five years ago."
room_temp_butter
Bad Pics
"For context, my mom had some life-threatening medical issues when I was a kid, so there were a few month+ long periods where we rarely saw her. One night, I got a text from her that says 'send me a pic of u in bed."
"I thought she wanted a picture of me and my dog snuggling, as he slept with me and was the cutest sleeper. I usually sent her one every few days, even when she was home. It also doubled as her way to make sure I was following my bedtime."
"I was taking the picture, and I get a follow-up 'ignore that' text. At the same time, my dad opens my door so hard the hinges break. He says 'you get a text from mama?' I say yeah, and he says, 'it wasn't meant for you.' And leaves. I felt weird about it for days, even though it was years before I figured it out."
bleeding_inkheart
Leave it there...
"I happened to live across the street at the time and a dirty message meant for my now wife was sent to my mother! Luckily for me my mom is notorious for ignoring her phone so I sprinted across the street and said 'hey where is your phone' she told me it was on her desk so I calmly walked over unlocked it and deleted the message. In response to the look of confusion I told her 'deleted a message that was meant for now wife...' And left it at that."
Twandle_D-Vorago
AHHHH!!!! NO!
Awkward Episode 1 GIF by HeelsGiphy"One time my dad accidentally texted me 'sex if the Patriots win' and I still don’t believe I have recovered."
ayepeyday
Mom and dad have their own lives.
Disconnect
GIF by NETFLIXGiphy"I didn't accidentally send a nude, but my phone did auto upload ALL my pictures when I connected it to my mom's computer. I'm no longer allowed to connect hardware to my mom's computer."
teethalarm
Hey Sis...
"I gave my sister my old Iphone (I’m 25, she’s 22). She didn’t realize that her photos were uploading to my cloud and when I went to send a photo to a coworker, at work mind you, I see her pasty a**. I immediately text her and was like STOP TAKING PHOTOS. She called me and asked if I was okay and I told her what was happening. She responded with 'My a** look good though,' and I died laughing. Love my sis, but Christ."
PushingPepperoni
Shower Scene
"I didn’t sent a nude. I was in the shower, about age 15, and I heard the phone ring. My best friend had a habit of calling while I was showering. So, I bolted out naked as the day I was born to grab the phone before she hung up. I didn’t realize pretty much my entire dad’s side of the family was visiting my terminally ill mother."
"They saw it all. My aunt jokingly said, 'Well, dang, I didn’t know there was gonna be a show.' And someone said, 'we were just joking when we said you’d grow up to be a stripper.' I had to do a walk of shame back to the bathroom as well."
"It was laughed off and it hasn’t been brought up since."
TheSaltyMelon
Let me see...
"Sent a pic of my boobs to my mom. Managed to convince her I was trying to take a pic of what I thought was a lump but ended up dropping my phone and sent it while fumbling. Which has happened before. But then she made me show her where I thought the lump was so that was very awkward."
3milyBlazze
Recover Mode
delete black and white GIFGiphy"I once sent a pic to a GF in college when we were home for break… only I searched her contact by last name and accidentally sent it to her mom!"
"Thankfully it was late and she was able to sneak into her parents’ room and delete it before they saw."
BleekerTheBard
What have we learned?
At the very least, triple-check who you are sending it to one whichever app you use for that sort of thing.
Threesomes sounds like a good idea at first.
They are fun.
I'm not gonna lie.
But they come with consequences.
They can be crazy and they can be a disaster.
Always be ready for the fallout.
Try to be the extra if it's a relationship.
Then it's not your drama.
Redditor Tebi1003 wanted to hear from everyone who has dabbled in the more than two sex realm, so they asked:
"[Serious] How would you react if your partner told you they want to try a threesome?"
Threesomes are not the best idea. Unless you're on the same page.
Stop Thinking
Think New Amsterdam GIF by NBCGiphy"Overanalyze it and eventually let my thoughts ruin my marriage."
Beard341
Pressure
"Did this with my ex & my pal on a wild night out. Ruined our relationship and my ex & my ex friend ended up being together, they have a kid together now (was about 12 years ago)."
"Probably wouldn’t do it again, never say never though If opportunity presents itself. Been with my current partner 10 years and neither of us are that bothered but have both had them before we met."
"As a guy, I’d honestly say it’s a bucket list for some of us (was for me) and wasn’t that great. Loads of pressure and my pal had a bigger d**k than me.
"Anyway, back to Harry Potter."
Geezer_Flip
Hate Her
"Had a girlfriend ask me this when I was about 20. I simply asked what her boundaries were and she showed jealousy from just that. I think she was trying to justify having sex with other men by allowing me to with another woman. I said no immediate and she cheated a few months later with someone in the friend circle."
F**k you Stephanie. You were a real c**t."
mfcfbro
The Squeeze
"I'm a guy, partners in the past have asked to have threesomes with girlfriends of theirs and I always say no. It ends up getting messy and jealousy creeps in. I have had them before and everytime after the dust has settled it always comes up in an argument."
"'I saw how you were looking at her' - 'you were really enjoying yourself' - 'you don't enjoy yourself with me like you did with her' - 'I bet you want to sleep with her again don't you.'"
"The juice isn't worth the squeeze for me."
SakeBomberman
Basics
Bedtime Threesome GIF by PantayaGiphy"If I wanted to disappoint 2 people at the same time I would just call my parents."
Foggy_Prophet
It's all gonna be a letdown.
No Thanks
No Way Beer GIF by BuschGiphy"I’m bi, but I still don’t play with that sh*t. Not if I’m in a serious relationship. It would be a massive red flag in my book, especially if they already had a person lined up or in mind. Now if I had someone I didn’t really have a romantic attachment to make this offer, maybe. Like if it was just a FWB."
lobster-overrun
Just Shut Up
"My first husband would not stop talking about his burning need for a FFM threesome."
"It got so bad that i hesitated to even have female friends because he would start 'hypothetically talking about us seducing her.'"
"He legit would not STFU about it, even though I said no about 1000 times. Yes, I dumped his a**. Then he moved back in with his mama."
Outside-Flamingo-240
Fantasies
"We talk about this a lot, tbh. However, I don't think it will ever go beyond sexy fantasies because that's a bell you can't unring. One person is always going to like it more than the other and I would imagine that it causes problems more often than not. Having said that, it sure is fun to talk about."
motormouth08
Remix
"I honestly would need to discuss details. I need to know if she genuinely just wants to mix things up or if there's an underlying sexual dissatisfaction with our relationship."
"If she wants to mix things up and explore more of her own sexuality, I'll keep an open mind and we'll discuss boundaries."
"If there is a sense of dissatisfaction going on in the relationship, then it's time to be honest and find out if it's something that can be fixed or if it's time to break up."
YoureInMyWaySir
SURPRISE!!
Joe Biden Shock GIF by GIPHY NewsGiphy"First, I would be very, very surprised. My wife is very socially anxious and gets nervous around other men. She's never expressed any interest whatsoever in other women. Second, I'd be down for it, as long as there was some serious communication and boundary sharing ahead of time."
Behind_A_Facade
Sometimes sex is more drama than we need it to be.