Thank goodness for bendy bones.
That as a 1-2 year old I ran at a window, shoved the screen out, and fell two stories onto a bed of rocks head first.
Doc said the only reason I survived was because I was still young enough for my bones to bend rather than break so my neck didn't snap. I lost a tooth though.
That's a colorful history.
GiphyI'm a quadruplet. It's an interesting life.
My mom is 60 and my dad is like 75 I think. Before all of us he married and divorced the same woman twice, all before he met my mom. I also have a step-brother from my dads first marriage. Another interesting tidbit for all of you nice people.
I have the opposite problem...
Nobody believes I'm not bisexual or gay, whenever they first meet me. Seriously, the amount of people that have insisted I am gay is absurd. I'm not sure what exactly in my demeanor gives the impression that I'm gay, but it is what it is.
It's more common than you think.
I'm left handed. Everyone is always surprised at the fact that I'm left handed, even if I've known the person for years.
Most of the time, I just casually bring up the fact that I am and people are so surprised. Sometimes, people actually notice it and exclaim: 'You're left handed?!?' Yes buddy, I'm left handed...
There's no rush.
GiphyThe fact that I never kissed a girl. Really, every time I tell people I never had a girlfriend they say "it's okay, you are just 19, your moment will come", but when I say I never kissed a girl everyone remains shocked af. I don't know why.
I hear ya. 25, never had a boyfriend or kissed anyone. Co-workers were shocked and asked me why and I said I was never really interested in putting myself out there and am just trying to concentrate on my career at the moment. They usually follow up with the usual "you better find someone fast! Pregnancy gets tougher when you're older!"
People always assume I want kids. And even if I want kids I still won't have them unless I'm financially, emotionally, and mentally stable.
Pork products aren't for everyone.
I don't like bacon. I tried it many times and I just don't like it.
My first instinct was to not like you, but then I realized that your dislike means more bacon for me, so you're cool.
Ugh.
That I'm in my final year of college/university, my country has its racist aspects as it is a very bicultural/diverse country, as people of my ethnicity not considered exactly "intelligent" or become very successful here.
When people ask "oh, what do you study?" And I say "law and criminal justice" the look on their faces says it all. "Oh, really?! Interesting, first year?" "Fourth year" and then their demeanor changes rapidly.
What an exchange.
GiphyI'm a 46 year old virgin.
I loved your movie.
I'm 6 years older than that guy, it's disconcerting.
That's annoying.
That I'm older than they think I am.
I'm almost 30, but constantly get told by strangers that I look like I'm 15-18.
It's okay sometimes, but getting ID'd for every little thing is super annoying. Particularly since I'm pretty certain I don't look like a child anymore.
I could understand if I was acting like a child and dressed like one, but I was buying some groceries the other day and talking to the cashier about Christmas shopping and why it sucks, how I think I'll just get everyone stuff from the Pound shop because my gas bills are too high in winter.
She gave me the weirdest look and said,
"Doesn't your mother deal with that stuff? You should just be worrying about school right?"
Explaining to her that I was almost 30 was a painful experience, she refused to believe me till I showed her my ID.
This happens far too often.
Interesting.
I have a disability to my arms (basically look like a T-Rex: Thalidomide) but I can drive with my feet and have had a license for 15 years.
This is the first that I found to be surprising, mostly because it sounds interesting. I hope you don't mind my asking, but how do you have it set up?
Hi, no I don't mind at all. It's an automatic so right foot controls the pedals. Left foot goes into a stirrup attached to a disk on the floor that turns the wheel.
Good deed.
"I had a sweet, wonderful student who had been in foster care but his mom worked her a** off to get him back and she did. He had to take a very important state exam and she called me and asked if he passed it. I looked at the grades and saw he did and said so. She burst into tears of joy and that is when I saw I had read the wrong score."
"He had failed."
"So I changed his grade to passing. No one knew. That was the only time I ever did that."
"That could have cost me my license."
"The weird thing is, when my awful corrupt principal pressured me to change other students' scores so we could raise our pass rate, I refused."
"I never told anyone what I did for my student.""
"He went into the military, was extremely successful there, has a great wife and kids, so I think I did the right thing.
"F*ck those tests. They aren't human."
A lot of people probably have this.
Giphy"Mentioned before, will never tell anyone I had one of those expensive fancy life sized sex dolls. Got rid of it at first opportunity after getting a real partner. But it's literally the only secret I have that I'm not willing to say to anyone in real life."
"I watched a whole Vice program on it. I wouldn't mind giving it a go. I asked my roommate if he'd buy one, his line of thinking was spot on. Why not! But where would I hide it? A girl comes over and there's this life size mannequin with her mouth open sitting on the bed. "Don't mind her, I have you now."
Poor pup.
"Only I know that my mother-in-law killed her dog by sitting on it."
"Poor thing. Almost happened to our neighbors' dog, too. Chihuahua, the overweight son sat on him and broke the dog's pelvis. It survived but could never walk a straight line again after that."
How wholesome.
"I used to work for the airport and so got very discounted fares for friends and family. My mom was going on a trip with her friend to Key West and they were gonna drive since flying was too expensive. I talked her into letting me handle the flying arrangements and they'd save a ton. A typical $500+ flight turned into like $250 for both of them combined.
"Well, I was still kinda new at booking reservations and what not, and I ended up screwing up the reservation. I think I only booked it for one way or something. So the night before their flight, I rebooked it, and paid the $450 for the both of them (money I really didn't have) and have since never told my mom."
"It was for mother's day, so I figured that was my gift to her. It's been nearly 10 years since."
I'm sure the ghost didn't mind.
Giphy"Speaking of grave... When I was a teenager some friends and I got really stoned and walked around the town cemetary. There was a whole section of generic flat grave markers from the 1800s."
"I found myself trying to imagine their lives in the same town I lived so long ago. Then I saw one plate kind of sticking up and crooked and I bent down to touch it. It wasn't attached at all, and I lifted it up in my hand."
"Right then, my asinine stoned teenage brain decided to put it in my backpack. I thought I'd somehow honor this stranger more than the shitty grounds' keeper leaving it all willy-nilly in the middle of the aisle. None of my friends saw what I did. Cue hours later, sober, and the guilt and panic are setting in."
"I hid the plate in my closet for about a year before I chucked it back over the fence one day late at night. I hope Bessie Jane Holmes doesn't mind that I kept her for awhile. I still think back and shudder at the guilt of such immoral f*ckery."
That's so sad.
"When I was a kid I used to sh*t in a tire in the garden because I was scared of getting locked in the toilet."
"When I was young I peed under the basement stairs every night. I was afraid my stepmother (at the time), would hurt me if I flushed the toilet and it woke her, so I went under the stairs in my "room" (a mattress in the basement)."
Holy sh*t.
"I attempted to murder my mother. She was abusive, verbally but also physically. She'd hit you in places no one would see, or rip clumps of my hair out when Dad was on the road for work. She probably has a personality disorder. She got in my face one night when I was coming home from my second job, and I had it. My Mom like went through whole periods where she wouldn't work, I was killing myself every summer working 50+ hours to pay family bills in my parents' names and also get my younger sister to all of HER activities. I HAD IT. I tried to put Mom's head through a wall."
"She started screaming, "Oh, help! Help!" and I told her she could dish it out, she should also be able to take it, shoved her on the ground and kicked her repeatedly in the abdomen and thigh, while still trying to put her head through the wall with one hand (it's a plaster-and-lath situation, old house in New England). She's destroyed so many people's lives and she never faces any consequences for it. No one in our family ever helped me or called the police when she would abuse me. The only one who ever helped was the dog, if the dog was awake when my mom tried to start something she'd get between us, growl at mom until she backed down. I had always shown restraint and never hit her until this night. But my Dad did call the cops on me when I crossed that line."
"The cops get there, split us up to interview, I explain my side and then just blurt out, "Where were you a**holes when I was 8 and she was doing that to me?" The cop was taken aback, I think he could tell I was being honest and it was a culmination of years of pain. He goes and talks to his partner, "I think this isn't an assault, I think it's a mental illness thing." Then they basically intimidated my Mom and Dad into agreeing with them, they wouldn't let it go until they agreed it was a medical issue not a criminal one. So they called an ambulance and I went to the hospital as part of a "diversion program." Basically, they sent me to detox for three days and I emerged with no record, no charges, no nothing except a script for prozac and a recommendation for therapy (paid for by the state low income insurance plan)."
"Trying to kill my mom probably saved my life, honestly. Because I got myself some tools from a CBT/DBT therapist, but I'm not stupid enough to want people to know. Who would date me? How would I ever get promoted at work? Anyway: be kind. You never know what someone's been through and you never know what people are capable of when pushed far enough."
Valid question.
Giphy"I agreed to a first date with someone to make him stop crying. Six years later we're happily engaged and doing great."
"I don't know how well he remembers that, but I'm not bringing it up."
"Has he stopped crying yet?"
This is horrifying.
"That my dad paid my mom $1,500 for full custody of my youngest sibling. Not only would this be a massive blow to my sibling but my dad remarried quite quickly and the new wife is the very definition of an evil stepmom."
"If my sibling knew that our mom gave her up for such a small sum of money and the trade off was 5+ years of abuse she would be destroyed."
"I really don't understand this stuff, I couldn't imagine being with someone who treats my kid poorly. Like I feel like with any relationship, it would have to be agreed upon that the kid comes first"
How traumatizing.
"My father burned down my childhood home for the insurance money. He took me along as his "alibi", so I could verify he wasn't anywhere near it when it happened. I was 13 years old. I remember crying so hard knowing my clothes, books, photos - all of it would be destroyed. I wasn't allowed to save anything because he told me it would have been too suspicious."
"I found out years later he blamed it on me. Telling the fire chief (plus friends and family) the fire had started because I must have been secretly smoking in my bedroom. I've never smoked a cigarette in my life..."
"For those asking about how he could use me as an alibi AND blame me for starting the fire at the same time - I was told to say that we were at my little brother's t-ball game the whole time. He told everyone else that I must have been smoking cigarettes in my room downstairs (where the fire was started) and that I must not have put it out correctly when we left. Therefore starting the fire."
"We were not poor growing up, there were other things going on in my father's life that led him to do this. The money was just a welcome addition I'm assuming. He actually did end up with a felony for something else related to all that. It was 20+ years ago, so I just decided to let sleeping dogs lie."
This is a tough one.
"I'm trans. If anyone found out my life would be hell."
"Surround yourself with more accepting friends."
"It won't "fix it" but it will give you a support system that can cushion your world and offer options you may never have considered."
Gross.
"I pretended to be my best friend's girlfriend because he was actually dating his dad and he didn't want his mom and brother to get suspicious."
"How do I unread a post?"
A little yikesy.
Giphy"I lost my virginity at age 27 with a woman who was 58. She is a sweet lady who knew my mother and felt badly for me. It was pity sex but I didn't care."
"I continued having sex with her for another 2 months until she ended it because I had grown "sexually dependent" on her. I'm 29 now and she's still the only woman I've had sex with."
"On the bright side, it will be easy to take this secret to the grave since I know I'm gonna die alone."
This one might be the winner.
"I intentionally killed a person. And got away with it."
"Alright, I'll bite. What happened?"
"It was my grandma's mother. She was an old and fragile woman with a lot of health issues coming for her. She used to babysit me and my sister. (good parenting, tell me about it). But me and my sister were getting tired and overly annoyed by her outdated ways of taking care of then today's children of society. We were basically human slaves for her when we were alone at her place."
"It seemed rather fair, for a 7 year olds brain, to just get her out of the way, no? After all, the way she treated me, treated us just seemed unfair to me. We told our parents that we didn't wanna go there anymore, we were tired of it. But no one listened, busy adults being themselves."
"So I found this box of rat poison under the sink, she had problems with those little fellas. While she was at the bathroom I put them in her food. My sister was just frozen, couldn't believe what I've done but wouldn't stop me either. So when she came back out to eat she just started choking. I called 911, instantly regretting what I have done."
"She was alive the last time I saw her, but died in the hospital from complications after her body and health not being able to handle the medications."
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Horrifying.
I was stopped at a red light and there was a lady in the car next to me. She was having really sporadic head movements. Not the head-bob dancing type, but just kinda crazy. After like 10-15 seconds of this her neck went limp and her head just hung forward.
The light turned green and I hesitated a moment wondering if she needed medical care and was about to pull in front of her to check on her when her head abruptly jerked back up and she drove off without hesitation.
Maybe he didn't notice.
GiphyI saw a dude with a suitcase, completely naked entering our train. His facial expressions were normal, he looked concerned and stared at his phone the entire time until I had to get out.
How could someone do that?
I moved to a town which had a bit of a bad reputation. The first thing I saw when I was bringing boxes in was a man walking down the street with a bunch of plastic bags on fire. He was holding it like a lantern and was so casual about it despite flaming plastic dripping onto him.
Actually like the town though. It's got character.
Onions should not be eaten like that.
I saw a woman on the train pull out an entire raw white onion from her purse then proceed to eat it like an apple as if it were nothing. She was tearing up and didn't seem to be enjoying it much.
Sounds fun.
GiphyOnce saw a man standing next to an extremely expensive looking home jump headfirst into a hedge, pull himself out, look at the hedge, and jump back in headfirst.
He continued to do this for a while until someone nearby asked him if he were okay, to which he responded with "don't worry, this is my hedge, I'm just bored".
Still to this day I respect his casual not giving a f**k vibe.
Guess it was useful.
I wrestled in high school and was down about 20 pounds for a tournament. We were walking back to the hotel after weigh ins and my pants kept falling down, as I forgot a belt.
One of my buddies dad's asked me if I needed a belt, and I said sure do thinking it was a joke, or maybe he had an extra one in the hotel. He proceeds to take of his belt, give it to me, pulls a second belt out of his front pocket, and puts in on.
No idea why he had two identical leather belts with him that day, but I appreciated it.
THAT'S a story.
I was in a bathroom stall the other day when a little boy, maybe 6-7 years old, goes in the stall beside me. He sits on the toilet and starts humming some made up tune. That was already a little funny but nothing uncommon
Then he starts aggressively humming louder and louder. It gets to the point where it's almost just shrieking and then he suddenly stops because he's out of breathe.
Two seconds later I here a plop in the toilet and he then begins singing "Hallelujah! Hallelujah! I just pooped in the toilettttttttt!" and repeats this a few times. I was almost passing out from trying to hide my laughter.
We don't believe them either.
GiphyOnce saw a man unicycling through a mall parking lot with groceries bags in each hand. During a snow storm. No one ever believes me.
They don't believe me when I first tell them and assume I said bicycle. They really don't believe me when I correct them and say "no... unicycle, one wheel. I wouldn't have bothered telling you this if there had been two wheels."
Sleep paralysis demon in person.
An old dude put down his suitcase and started doing a weird interpretive dance. The worst part is that this was in a crowd of hundreds of people and he was staring me down specifically with a creepy smile.
I was a couple hundred feet away and when I looked back there he was. Smiling. Dancing. Eyes locked on to me.
Wonder why the other was uncomfortable.
I was driving home from the grocery store and saw 2 guys standing at a bus stop. One had all his clothes off on the sidewalk while shaving his body. The other looked very uncomfortable. I don't think anyone believes me.