Which Things People Define As 'Cheating' In A Relationship
Reddit user lola-starr98 asked: 'What do you consider cheating in a relationship?'
It's safe to say that the conventions of romantic relationships have greatly evolved over time.
As evidenced by the ever-growing number of people in open or polyamorous relationships.
Leaving one to wonder, what exactly constitutes "cheating" in this day and age.
Of course, this could be a personal decision, based on the ground rules people set in their own relationships.
Even so, one can't help but question if there are some instances that are always cheating, whether or not the relationship is monogamous.
"What do you consider cheating in a relationship?"
Anything HE Does...
"My ex felt that me having a conversation about anything at all with anyone else was cheating, but her literally getting sexed by other men was OK."- GoodToe4691
Spoilers!!!
"Watching an episode alone of a show we started together."- Happy-Sea-Otter
When You Commit, You COMMIT!
"Being sentimentally or physically involved with someone else that isn't your partner."- a_man_of_music
"Doing anything sexual or romantic with someone else."- jellyfishmasquerade
orlando bloom cheating GIFGiphyThink About How You Would Feel...
"My rule of thumb is if I wouldn't like it done to me I shouldn't be doing it myself."
"I know that's vague."
"But leaves you to draw the line where you want."- SureAce_
Anything That Isn't Out In The Open...
"Beyond the obvious (sex/kissing with another person), it can also be based on intent."
"For instance, dinner could be cheating if it was kept hidden or with an ex, etc."
"Depends a lot on context."- dogwatermoneybags
"Anything you do with another person you feel like you have to hide from me, I consider cheating."- nopestillgotit
Shocked Oh No GIF by LaffGiphySubtle Manipulation
"Not paying enough of the rent in Monopoly and using smile and cuddle to get away with it."- Dendex031
You Set Your Own Rules So You Will Never Break Them...
"Pretty much breaking any agreed upon 'rules' in your relationship."- Massive-Ad7628
"Whatever an individual couple agrees on as being cheating within the context of their relationship."-JanuaryWinterflame
"Breaking the rules of loyalty, trust, and honesty in your relationship."
"If you're monogamous, that means engaging in sexual and/or romantic activity with anyone other than your partner."
"If you're non-monogamous, that means doing engaging in sexual and/or romantic activities with people other than your partners without telling both the new person and the partners that's what you're doing."
'Basically if you're sneaking around and lying to people just to get extra attention outside of your relationships, you're 99% likely to be cheating."- GenericNerdGirl
GiphyWhen You Know You're Getting In Too Deep...
"Back when I was still college aged, I learned this lesson the hard way."
"I could be a bit of a harmless flirt, but I would never cheat on my girlfriend."
"Then one night I got drunk with a friend of my girlfriend’s."
"After a night of ‘harmless flirting’ and drunk Twister, I ended up in her bed, on top of her."
"She whispered in my ear 'If you tried to f*ck me right now, I wouldn’t stop you'.”
"That snapped me back to reality, made me realize how real things had gotten and that I had gone too far."
"I apologized and I left."
"I told my girlfriend about it, because I knew that if I tried to hide it and her friend told her about it, it would be even worse."
"I never kissed her."
"I didn’t f*ck her."
"No one was naked."
"However, the fact that I had essentially been 5 seconds away from doing all of those things while in her bed massively betrayed the trust my girlfriend had for me."
"She wasn’t able to look at me the same way."
"I was genuinely remorseful, and learned my lesson, but it didn’t really matter."
"We tried to keep it together for a few more months, but she eventually left me over it, and I can’t say that I blame her."
"I was flung into a long spiral of depression, and it was worse knowing that it was all my fault."
"Cheating isn’t just about a physical, sexual act."
"You can cheat on someone without f*cking someone else."
"It’s about a betrayal of trust."
"And to go a step further, it’s your responsibility in a relationship to foster that trust by intentionally avoiding situations that could bring temptation or otherwise sketch out your partner."
"For example, don’t hang out with other girls one on one and get drunk with them, even if you know you don’t intend to do anything sexual with them."- Thograr
When The Connection Starts To Be Emotional
"I used to think it was only physical stuff, but seeing your partner drift away from you into the arms of someone else reeeally stings."
"So, basically entertaining the idea and keeping in contact with someone they might have a small/temporary crush on is a dealbreaker for me nowadays."- soapshirt
season 6 episode 3 GIFGiphyBy definition, cheating is when you are doing something blatantly wrong, or deceitful.
Which sometimes could mean kissing someone who isn't your partner.
Unless they are aware and ok with it.
One thing I'm sure everyone can agree with: nothing is more unforgivable than forging ahead on a series without waiting for your significant other.
...definitely not speaking from experience...
Monogamous People Explain Whether Infidelity Would Result In An Instant Breakup
Romantic relationships have evolved considerably over the course of time.
Today, more and more couples who are otherwise committed to one another, in marriage or in word, have "open" relationships, where they are permitted to see other people on the side.
Also, many people are open about being in polyamorous relationships, where they might be equally committed and loving to more than one person.
Which isn't to say, however, that monogamous relationships are a thing of the past.
As many people continue to commit, body and soul, to one person and one person only.
And should one half of that couple break that commitment, it could be the effective end of that relationship.
"Monogamous Redditors: is infidelity an automatic break-up for you? why?"
Yes: What Else Are They Hiding?
"My ex-wife and high school sweetheart cheated after 3 years of marriage."
"My thoughts were summed up best by Nietzsche:"
"'I'm not upset that you lied to me'."
"I'm upset that from now on, I can't believe you'."- link_up_luke
Yes: We Had An Agreement
"Yes."
"If you’ve agreed on monogamy and someone cheats, it’s a violation of trust and without trust in a relationship, you have nothing."
"My relationship motto is, 'if you can be stolen, they can have you'.”- MermaidandtheKraken
Yes: I Deserve Better
"Yes, is a violation of trust, and shows lack of love and respect."- Ketosheep
"Yes."
"It’s a massive violation of trust and complete destruction of the idea of mutual respect."- razzledazzle626
Yes: You Never Recover From The Betrayal
"Yeah, the jealousy fades fairly quick but it's the breach of trust that gets to you."
"I was able to piece together a string of lies leading back months, finding out two different friend groups knew two different stories, etc."
"After that it's hard to even look at the person without seeing a sociopath."- Thatsaclevername
"Yes."
"I've been cheated on, and the pain of the betrayal is the harshest I've ever felt."
"It's completely destroyed my ability to trust anyone."- otter_dragon
Yes: They Know What They're Doing
"Yes."
"Cheating isn’t an accident."
"It’s a choice."
"It takes effort."
"I’d never be able to trust my partner again even if I wanted to."- A_Salty_Moon
Yes: Fidelity Is A Two Way Street
"Yeah."
"It might take me a bit to really accept it, but I refuse to give my loyalty to someone who doesn't return it."- Trashsodaz
Yes: It Only Gets Worse
"I let it happen twice."
"We broke up the second time."
"She begged me back after 4 months and 6 months later she’s being devious and shady."
"I’ll never be able to trust her."
"I wouldn’t let it happen again."
"It’s the worst feeling imaginable."- Myke_Dubs
Yes: There's Nothing Worse
"Yep."
"It couldn't ever go back to being a nice, loving, trusting relationship again."
"I'd be way too paranoid and ultimately, what's the point in trying to force it?"
"Cheating is the ultimate betrayal, it's a no go for me."- bigf*ckingdiamond
If people agree on an open, non-monogamous relationship, that is their decision and not for us to judge.
But people who enter into a monogamous relationship have made an agreement to commit to one another, and no one else.
And when people can't keep one agreement, it becomes hard not to wonder what other agreements they might have broken as well.