People Break Down The Biggest Bombshells Their Therapist Ever Dropped On Them
Reddit user anonymiss0018 asked: 'What is a little bombshell your therapist dropped in one of your sessions that completely changed your outlook?'
Some people stand firmly stand behind their beliefs that everyone would benefit from therapy and that therapy is life-changing.
It's because of the totally life-changing truth bombs their therapist had dropped during their sessions.
Curious, Redditor anonymiss0018 asked:
"What is a little bombshell your therapist dropped in one of your sessions that completely changed your outlook?"
Communication Issues
"'If you don’t have these problems with any other person in your life, why do you think you’re the problematic person in this one?'"
- maggiebear
"I love this. I have a 'friend' who I always seem to run into misunderstandings with. Every time we had a conversation, it somehow turned into a debate even if it was me talking about my day. The conversations were never easy."
"I always evaluate myself first and take into consideration his critiques. He was very good at convincing me that I was contradicting myself or wasn't good at communicating my thoughts."
"I NEVER had this issue with ANYONE else in my life. I kept trying to figure out where the miscommunication was coming from. In the end, I just minimized contact and now I don't run into this issue."
- chobani_yo
"I read this quote somewhere once (and probably have it a bit wrong): 'It's a waste of time arguing with someone who is determined to misunderstand you.'"
Emotional Regulation
"'You can’t control your emotions, but you can control what you do with them.'"
"At the time, I was a young adult who had learned zero healthy emotional regulation skills (only suppression and shaming) growing up, so this blew my mind."
- lil_mermaid
Tough Relationships
"'It sounds to me like you are trying to convince yourself to stay with your girlfriend. I'm not so sure it should be so difficult.'"
"At the time he said this, I remember it was like he said, 'The earth is flat.' I thought he was crazy when he suggested relationships don't need to be difficult. But eventually, I started to realize I was trying to change myself to stay with this person rather than just being who I am."
"It took me three more months to finally break up with her but from that day on, I vowed to never again abandon myself just to be with someone I had convinced myself was better than me."
- metric88
High-Stress Situation
"I was at a high-stress time, and I asked her how people live like this."
"She replied, 'Oftentimes they have cardiac events.' She said it as an urging to care for myself as much as possible."
- KittenGr8r
The End of Alcohol
"I was struggling with my alcoholism, and we were discussing how I had been cutting back."
"She asked what I would consider success, with regard to my drinking."
"I said I wanted to get to a point where it wasn't interfering with my daily life. I wanted to just be able to have a glass of wine at holiday dinners or family gatherings."
"She simply asked me why. Why was it important for me to drink at those times?"
"It was as if she'd turned on a light. Alcohol had always been a key ingredient in every family function, for my entire life. When I smell bourbon, I think of my uncle. When I smell vermouth, I think of my dad. Alcohol ran through almost every happy childhood memory."
"But, even more than that, I was very afraid of the explanation I'd have to give when family and friends asked why I wasn't having a drink. I had tried to quit before but failed. What if I admitted my problem, only to fall off the wagon?"
"When she asked why I didn't want to completely quit, it was the first time I saw that last part of the big picture. I'd be willing to drink myself to death in order to avoid being scrutinized, or judged for possible future failures."
"That was the day I quit. I've been sober since May 6th, 2017. 2,407 days."
- sophies_wish
Acceptance vs. Enjoyment
"'Accepting something doesn’t mean you have to like it.'"
"That took away a lot of my inner conflicts about situations because I could accept a situation without expending energy internally fighting against the injustice of it."
- alibelloc
Emotionally Immature Parents
"You are not responsible for your parents' emotional wellbeing. They are independent adults who have been on this earth for many more years than you."
- SmokedPears
Not So Lazy
"'Why do you think you're lazy?' Then she listed off all the things she knows I'm doing for my family, my job, and my life."
"It kind of blew my mind when I struggled to come up with an example."
"She also described family dysfunction as water. Some families are messed up in a way that everyone can see the huge waves across the surface. Others are better at hiding it, but there's still a riptide that you can't see unless you're also in the water."
"It made me realize that trying to keep the surface from ever rippling doesn't erase what is happening underneath."
- flybyknight665
The Harm in People-Pleasing
"'Why do you make people more comfortable when you are uncomfortable?' when talking about people pleasing and fawning."
- ERsandwich
Agree to Disagree
"'Stop trying to get everyone to agree. When you need everyone to agree, the least agreeable person has all the power.'"
This really changed my outlook on planning family events."
- freef
Grieve and Start Anew
"For context, I had a major TBI (traumatic brain injury), seizures, strokes, and all around not a fun brain time when I was 28."
"They said, 'You have to grieve the loss of yourself.'"
"Most people wanted me to go back to how I was. The f**ked up truth is that part of my brain is dead. The person everyone (including myself) knew died. I needed to grieve the loss of myself."
- squeaktoy_la
Multifaceted Identity
"They told me that my job and career is just a way to make money; it's not my life or identity. That took a lot of pressure off me."
- unfairpegasus
Breaking the Cycle
"They validated me."
"'You always talk about not wanting to do to your daughters what your mom did to you. You worry about it so much in every interaction you have ever had with them."
"But your children are 19 and 21 now. They are happy and healthy and they trust you because you’ve never abused them in any way. So I just want to validate for you that you really have broken that cycle of violence."
"You did that. And you should be proud of it. I’m proud of you for it.'"
- puppsmcgee74
The Grieving Process
"I was constantly bringing up how I felt like a completely different person after my mom died... like there was a marked difference between before and after her death."
"But once, she was asking about my hobbies, I got really into describing all the things I loved to do or at least used to do before I got into a deep depression."
"She was like, 'Wow, you seem very passionate.'"
"And I just sat there like, 'Well, I mean, I can't change what I like to do, they're still fun to do.'"
"And it's like she knew when to take a step back, because it was like, wow, I may be super depressed about my mom passing, but I'm still me. I'm still my passions and those don't go away."
"I don't know, maybe it only makes sense to be, but it really started getting me back on track."
- Hannibal680
Sharing the Load
"I've never really had friends. I've had colleagues and classmates and housemates and people who have hung out with me, but I never really felt close to any of them."
"And I did that thing you see on here sometimes; I stopped reaching out to see if I would be reached out to, and I wasn't, which I took as confirmation that they didn't really want me around, or at the very least, that they wouldn't mind my absence."
"I was talking to my therapist about people I'd been close to in college, and she told me to pick one and talk about him. So I did. After I shared some basic stuff like his name and his major etc., and a couple of anecdotes, she asked me what else I knew about him."
"And I couldn't answer. It wasn't really a broadly applicable bombshell, but she said, 'What else?' and I started crying because I realized that for as simple as the question was, my inability to answer spoke volumes."
"I've never had good friends because I've never been a good friend. I'm withdrawn and reserved and I always made others do the work to drag me out, without ever extending my own friendship in a meaningful way in return. If I wanted to have meaningful relationships with other people, I would have to build them."
"I'm still working on this, but I'm trying to make more offers and extend more friendliness to others in my daily life."
- Backupusername
The discoveries in this thread were incredibly touching and profound; it's no wonder these were lasting concepts for these Redditors.
It's important to keep ourselves open to inspiration and insights from others, as we have no idea how their experiences could help us, or how we could help them.
People Divulge The Deepest Thing Someone's Ever Said To Them
Reddit user Some_Being_Online asked: 'What is the deepest thing someone has said to you?'
We may not always realize it, but there is inspiration all around us, often from things we've read, watched, or heard in conversation.
Sometimes people really surprise us with the deeply profound things they say to us, and that message can be life-changing.
Redditor Some_Being_Online asked:
"What is the deepest thing someone has said to you?"
Invest in the Things You Care About
"The grass is greener where you water it."
- Acceptable_Cup_3015
Worry Less
"'Worry is not preparation.'"
- Big-Routine222
"My husband told me once, 'If you’re worrying about it before it happens, you’re putting yourself through the experience twice.' While I still worry about stuff, it’s really put it in perspective."
- caitlin-c18
Celebrate Life
"I stopped giving a s**t about my birthday when I was 27. I used to request off or at least the day after off to recover from the previous night, but I just stopped caring."
"Last year, an old lady at my job found out it was my birthday and surprised me with a card with money in it, the kind of way a grandma would."
"I tried to tell her it wasn't a big deal and give the money back, but she insisted, saying, 'You should always celebrate your birthday. You don't know how many you have left.'"
- Sol-Blackguy
Life Lessons for Kids
"Prepare your child for the road, not the road for your child."
- dvmdv8
"The way I heard was: You can't child-proof the world, so you'd better world-proof your child."
- CowBoyLaw
Not a "You" Problem
"A person's actions are a reflection of their character, not yours."
- YallMindIfIJoin
"Everyone is someone else and they’re all just trying to find themselves. Let them."
- bulitproofwest
A Challenge to Step Up
"'Yes, someone should do something about that. So who are you? A nobody?'"
"I have long struggled with feelings of inferiority and whatnot, that kind of helped out."
- Burning_Monkey
Live at Your Own Pace
"'Why tiptoe through life to arrive safely at death?'"
"Although you also have the opposite, 'I would rather be late in this life, than early in the next.'"
- liberaliar
Over Before You Know It
"When you're about to become a parent, the amount of s**t you get told is unreal. Parents can't wait to tell you, 'You'll get no sleep, you'll have no life, it's all changing nappies, etc.'"
"However, I was in a meeting with a guy at work, we were making small talk before the meeting, and I told him I was about to become a dad, expecting the usual."
"Instead, he just went really deep but really chilled and just went, 'You're about to have the most amazing thing happen to you ever, but never forget, they're not yours. You're just borrowing them while they need you but you need to get them ready to not need you anymore.'"
"The older my kids get the more I appreciate it."
- Educational_Act_6602
Processing Grief
"When my baby died and I was a mess, someone told me, 'I can’t imagine the pain you’re going through. I know your heart, expectations, assumed roles, and future memories have been broken. But to your child, they had a perfect life. All they ever knew was your love.'"
"I still cry thinking about it but it really did help. I know some may take this differently, but it was what I needed at the time."
- ballerinabaskets
Love with Nowhere to Go
"Grief is the price we pay for love. And it’s a bargain."
- khmergodzeus
"I’ve heard it slightly differently as, ‘Grief is love with nowhere to go.’ I like yours better."
- LB-Dash
The Power to Let Someone Go
"If someone you like doesn't like you back, as hard as it is, you have to let them go."
"If you truly care about them as you claim you do, respect them when they say their happiness is without you. Otherwise, trying to force it is now only about you, and that's not love or friendship."
- llcucf80
The Pain of Indifference
"It's not that deep, but I heard it as a sophomore in college (remember that hormonal swamp that is your late teens?) and it just floored me: 'The opposite of love isn't hate; it's complete and utter indifference.'"
- dragonfeet1
Sometimes Things End
"Something can be good, and also end, and that thing was still good. And it’s okay to be sad that it ended, too. But the idea that anything that ends is automatically less than this hypothetical eternal state of success, doesn't do us any good."
- yakuzamax
The Importance of the Journey
"All that you’ve gone through: the good, the bad, and the in-between have led you to exactly where you are now. You had to go through it all in order to be here, with me now."
- tvaldez19
This were powerful points that we could all learn from. It absolutely makes sense why these Redditors found these points to be so groundbreaking.
People Break Down Which Things Everyone Should Experience At Least Once In Their Lives
Especially in today's economy, with many of the stresses that appeared during the pandemic still hanging over our heads, it can be easy to forget to look for the joyful experiences in our days.
And some of these experiences can be truly life-altering, so much so that everyone should experience them at least once.
Redditor HappyNuisance asked:
"What's something everyone should experience at least once in their life?"
Mend a Broken Heart
"Heartbreak... it sucks and is one of the absolute worst feelings you can imagine but it helps if you experience that younger in life rather than, at say, 60 because it helps you grow as a person!"
- itsfish20
Provide Hospice Care
"I have a weird one... When someone is in hospice and needs 24-hour care, if possible, take them into your home, learn all you can about what to do so you don't need hospice coming out whenever something comes up."
"We did this for my mother as she died of pancreatic cancer back in 2010 and my kids (ages six and nine at the time) got to see and experience a loved one's death. They saw it wasn't scary or anything to be afraid of. They learned the true meaning of compassion, love, humility, and respect."
"I consider it an honor and a privilege to have taken care of my mom while she was on her deathbed."
- Willing-Grapefruit-9
Reconnect with Nature
"Go camping. Spend some time in the wilderness with no electronics, no demands, and (hopefully) no stress. Just detach from the modern world for a short while and enjoy the return to nature."
- Sammo909
Disconnect from Technology
"Being well and absolutely disconnected. No phones, no GPS. I last had that experience in the early 90s. Being somewhere with someone you trust and the two of you are the only people who know where you are and what you are doing."
- mehtapieman
Visit Another Country
"As an American, an extended stay in a foreign country. Being stationed in Europe for several years was mind-blowing. You really cannot grasp the completely sheltered, ethnocentric bubble that we Americans live in until you are able to spend some extended time outside of it."
"Also, as an American, it is difficult to grasp how truly ancient Europe is, and similarly, I noticed that non-Americans have difficulty grasping how truly enormous America is."
"Hunting, fishing, gardening, gathering, whatever it takes to supply yourself with a food source, independently, for at least a few days. It really opens your eyes to the time and labor required to feed one person, let alone billions. It also makes you acutely aware of the delicate balance we live each day with food supplies."
"Experiencing a major sporting event in person. For me, the most important memorable ones were football, both European and American. I was fortunate enough to experience the World Cup in Germany and have been to several NFL games in the U.S."
"It is incredible to be in a massive arena with 80,000 other humans, feeling the energy, feeling the ground shake. It gives you a bit of insight into what it must have been like in the Roman heydays of the Coliseum. It also helps you to grasp the enormity of a natural disaster, when you see what such a large number of people actually looks like."
"I could go on for days, lol (laughing out loud)."
- fourthsword13
Immerse Yourself in Another Culture
"Another culture. And I don’t mean as a tourist where you have all the comforts of home. To fully absorb and immerse yourself in the lives of that culture. To eat their foods, drink their drinks, and do as they do."
- EndlesslyUnfinished
Go Scuba Diving
"I went night diving on my honeymoon in Bonaire and saw the ostracods (little bioluminescent shrimp) lighting up the water all around me. The most beautiful, magical thing I have ever experienced."
- DJQueenFox
Remember to Do the Silly Things
"On road trips through the Midwest, I play a game called Transition. It’s where we try to find a cow 'in transition' which means the cow is either getting up or sitting down."
"Think about it. You always see cows sitting or standing. Have you ever seen a cow get up or sit down?"
"Now go and have 'fun' with that, Reddit."
- lactose-farts
Be Grateful
"Gratitude for being alive. And I don't mean it like after a near-death experience. I'm talking about the epiphany you get doing the simplest task or after a bad day. The sudden realization of being alive and being able to feel however you're feeling at the moment is something everyone should experience and be grateful for."
- frunxio71
See a Solar Eclipse
"Witnessing a total solar eclipse."
"Totally life-changing. Even having a full understanding of what is happening, I totally get how people over the millennia would find this to be an omen from the gods."
- ScienceJake
Feel Financial Independence
"Even if it's only for a short period of time: full financial independence while being single. You can pay your own bills, you have your own place, and you have full freedom over your free time."
"Whether it's staying in and binge-watching Netflix, or going out and sitting amongst strangers, your time is your own. No kids. No spouse or significant other. I find this is when you really get to know and understand yourself."
- -Neutrality-
Gain a New Perspective on Home
"Everyone should experience the joys of traveling to a foreign land at least once in their lifetime, even if it's just to realize how much they love their own toilet."
"Imagine discovering new cultures, cuisines, and the thrill of trying to communicate with locals using just charades and a phrasebook. Trust me, it's a life-changing experience that'll give you a new appreciation for your home and a killer accent to boot."
- Draft-Superior
Don't Miss Out on the Ocean
"I took a friend to see the ocean for the first time, something I had seen regularly since I was a child. He was awestruck and we just sat there watching for about an hour."
- Remarkable_Panda952
Listen to the Sound of Snow Falling
"The sound of it snowing. I laid on the ground, in the snow at night in the Alaskan wilderness, in December, it's so peaceful."
- Magillacudy
Give Thanks Instead of Regrets
"Last year I was diagnosed with kidney cancer. In the days and weeks leading up to my kidney removal, I would get up early and just sit outside on our porch swing and watch the sunrise."
"So many mornings I just sat in silence and realized how much I would miss the sounds of morning birds, the breeze, the sun touching the tops of the trees, and the rest of life waking up. I realized how much I would miss living. I couldn't imagine not experiencing life and everything it brings you in every moment if you only take a moment to appreciate it."
"I know this isn't quite the reason you meant, but it was the first time in a long time a really felt connected to everything and it has made me more thankful for those little quiet moments."
- oexto
All of these beautiful sentiments are relatively straight-forward, if not simple, in principal, but their impact is powerful and can leave a person forever changed.
Imagine how fulfilling it would be to cross all of these off of your list.
I love sex! We all do, it's sex! But.... there are certainly other fun things in life. In fact there are things and activities that can eclipse the elation of doing the deed. I'm totally serious, just listen.
Redditor u/Clanky_the_Robot wanted everyone to admit we all already know by asking.... What's more satisfying than sex?
So Smooth.....
GiphyShaved and moisturized legs under fresh bedsheets. schmellix
As a guy with hairy legs I can only compare this to shaved testicles in satin boxers I guess. Lvl99KampfKeks
The Code.....
When your code compiles without errors. LadyDigamma
Only if it's not the first try. First try is when you get suspicious. ThisIsKryss
99 bugs in the code, 99 bugs in the code, patch one down 127 bugs in the code.
Literally the bane of all programmers. mitch10211
Tingly Nostrils....
That tingly feeling when your nostril finally clears after being stuffed up all day. GaveUpMyGold
OC does wonders in clearing out your sinuses. zT1TzbaT
Gotta appreciate patient nostrils. Really frustrating when you can't breathe with ease. xFoodie
Food Coma.
That feeling after the thanksgiving food is semi digested and you're lying on the couch in a food coma looking over at your relatives that are dozing off and for a minute nothing matters and all the worries and stress of life are put away for a moment just comfort. anonymity012
Zzzzz.....
GiphyA solid 8-10 hours of uninterrupted sleep and waking up feeling refreshed without any neck or back pain. TheLagFairy
The GREAT Boom!
A really lovely, full-bodied poop followed by a most gaseous fart. Reddit
I prefer the other way around - a case of gas followed by mass. MoneybagsMcHorsecock
Quadruple nice. LHJ00
Heaven.
Snuggling on the sofa with one's SO, you both doze off and wake up 20 minutes later in the same snuggly position. Heaven. gingerrosie
The soft embrace of each other is truly something. WiregauxWhitlock
Nonsense.
Plugging the USB in correctly the first time. alt-no-more
Impossible. secretlyawolf
Well if it's a normal USB, NOT possible. BUT I have a USB charger that goes in both ways😱 Should be easy right? I still mess it up.... BrutalThor
Inspiration can come in a ton of forms, but whether it's a song, a statement, a poster, or whatever - it's important to deliver that inspirational message clearly and quickly. That's where some of us have a problem. I was born longwinded and was totally that kid you asked to help you pad a word count for an essay in class. So if you're looking for me to inspire you, expect a 15 minute TED talk and slideshow presentation. But, as that oh-so-appropriate saying goes, Keep It Simple, Stupid. The bits that people tend to remember are smaller and easier to digest tidbits of wisdom. There's just something profound about simplicity.
One Reddit user asked:
What's the most profound statement you've heard, that is extremely simple and uncomplicated yet helped you the most in life?
And yeah I could have written a 5 page essay based around any of these statements. Seriously I'm baffled at how people do this. Here are some of the shortest, sweetest, most profound responses.
Not A Boy
GiphyMy daughter was about 2. She wanted me to play barbie dolls with her. I said I don't want to play barbie, I'm a boy. Her response was very wise and profound for her age.
"You're not a boy, you're a daddy."
I now play many things with her and let her do my nails.
Exercise
Recently I heard someone say, "Exercise because you love your body, not because you hate your body." I've been exercising and eating healthy for a long time but I definitely struggle with body dysmorphia and hearing that kind of made me realize that I should change the way I think about things.
Along those lines I heard someone say, "exercise is a celebration of what you can do, not a punishment for what you ate." I kinda dig it and I hate most all get motivated stuff.
Quit Digging
GiphyFrom AA: "Your rock-bottom is whatever point you decided to put down the shovel and quit digging."
- PJMurphy
Slow = Fast
GiphySlow is smooth and smooth is fast.
I've got ER/ICU nurse background, so it's easy in both areas of practice to get overwhelmed with the endless tasks. this helped me to remember I knew how to prioritize, and to do the things I needed safely to get on to the next one. totally helped relieve a lot of anxiety for me.
- amberliz
Priorities
Stop saying "I don't have time to do this" and start saying "I am prioritizing thing x over thing y."
For instance, it's not that I don't have time to go for a run, it's that I am prioritizing watching an hour of TV over my health. Changes my thoughts about whether I go for that run or not...
Number One
We accept the love we think we deserve. Made me realize I put up with my abusive ex's disrespect because I didn't respect myself. I made gaining some self worth priority number one.
Care And Control
Giphy"Why do you care?"
Huh. Wow. I don't.
Sometimes that goes along with, "What control do you have (over x y z)?"
Until You Don't
"Do what you want, until you don't, then do something else" -My boyfriend to me when we were deciding to be exclusive. We wanted to be together and agreed to date each other until we didn't want to anymore. Going three years strong now.But it applies to a lot of things!
Simple Thoughts...
An old manager from my time at a gas station use to say this and I've stuck by it since.
"Work smarter, not harder."
Harder Better Faster Stronger! DustinDirt
Do You!
Giphy"Never argue with someone who is so committed to misunderstanding you!"
I stop many debates with ppl due to this. As soon as I realize things are going nowhere (normally quickly into a debate) I zone so far out because I don't want to convince anyone of my opinion. I have mine. They have there's. Mrst0530
~In the NOW!~
Live in the moment. When you spend time worrying about the past, you get depressed over things you didn't do. When you spend time worrying about the future you get anxious over what might happen. But when you live in the moment you quickly learn it's usually good and even when it's not good you know that moment will pass. This philosophy has changed my life. Tazi752000
Tick-Tock.
"All you got is time, then you die."
Said to me by my father after I said I didn't mind working for less money than I'm worth because I have the time. lordrad
It's in the delivery...
GiphyMy grandmother told me "Don't freak out until there is a reason to freak out." Something about the way she said it calmed me down and made me stop and think of what I was anxious about was worth it. WeirdAbbott
Never be idle...
While making idle chitchat I made a comment about trying to avoid things that are inconvenient. My conversational partner said "Everything is inconvenient in some way." I try to carry that thought with me, because some things are worth doing even though they're inconvenient, and I realized I was making excuses not to do things that I needed to. Narahiel
First Steps...
Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can. GeebusNZ
Make good mistakes. rosekathlyn
If you want to be happy in the future, find a way to be happy presently. pencilpasta
I hear you Jamie!
Giphy"What's on the other side of fear? Nothing." - Jaime Foxx, during a Tim Ferris interview. roserouge
The Inevitable!
When i was a kid my dad always used to say something to the effect of "no matter what happens, the sun is always going to set and then rise the next day." As someone who deals with a lot of anxiety, it's always a bit comforting to recognize that no matter how bad a day seems, it's eventually going to be over. no matter how scared you are for a certain test or interview, eventually that test or interview is going to be taken. raven_needles
Always a choice...
You may not be able to choose the circumstances in which you do something, but you can still make the choice to do something.
Sounds a little weird out of context, but the idea is that circumstances are never ideal. I was climbing with a buddy and we were supposed to meet some friends in town for dinner. Our campsite was in the opposite direction so we didn't have time to go back and clean up. I was fretting because I was dirty and sweaty, but he laid that nugget of insight on me. It made me realize that I would rather go to dinner with our friends despite my scruffiness than miss out on a jovial evening with them. InBellows
H/T: Reddit