Young Professionals Reveal The Worst Coworker They've Ever Had
When you are working with people every day, they can tend to get on your nerves from time to time. Some coworkers are just downright awful! these young professional share their experiences with the worst coworker they have ever had.
u/I_are_facepalm asks: Who is there weirdest classmate or coworker you ever had?
Rinsed his mouth with bleach!? Who is thins guy?
I worked with a lot of weirdos when I was a security guard -- the field seems to attract them -- but the weirdest was Karl. Karl used to rinse his mouth with straight bleach regularly, would shoot at his neighbor's houses out his window with a .22, and once said to me, "Someone has put stones in the toilet again." When I asked why someone would do that, he said, "To make me look bad."
Sir laugh-a-lot
Working in tech support, I was friends with Tim. Tim liked three things, Baseball, Wrestling (WWE), and my comedy. He thought EVERYTHING I said was hilarious. I could tell he was going to start laughing ten seconds before he would; as I would arrive to the punchline (and sometimes, just an end to a normal sentence), he would begin to shake and crack a smile. For example:
"This lady couldn't understand why her internet wasn't working-"
Tim shakes, starts to smile
"Yeah?", choking back laughter.
"...and her router was unplugged."
He. Would. Lose. It. Made me feel like Dane Cook bringing down Madison Square Garden. I love you Tim, stay awesome.
Lady crazy Todd
Todd. He stood about 5'6", or 5'9" if you measured to the top of his mullet. Laughed like a donkey. Was physically incapable of talking quietly. I honestly liked the guy, but he could not keep his cool around attractive women. At least once every shift we would hear this high-pitched "ohymygod!!" from the other side of the store (that was the sound of Todd noticing a woman) followed by the supervisor aggressively tracking him down to contain the situation. I'm not sure if it was the union or something else that kept him in the job, but he was working there a long time before I was hired, and I like to imagine that he's still there today.
He never learns
Office job.
Had to teach him his job again every day. EVERY. DAY . 6 weeks he was with us (contractor/staff aug). Had a pentagram on his chin he covered (poorly) with makeup on a daily basis. Awkward, but nice enough, honestly. Someone else I worked with googled his name years later and found him on a mugshot website on the other side of the country. Huh.
Weirdo!
I used to work at a grocery store and we had a guy that was a utility clerk, so he basically just pushed carts and stocked shelves. Well this guy would only stock the feminine hygiene aisle. He would stock the tampons about 5 times a day and he would smell each one as he put them on the shelf. He would also clean the girls bathroom and only the girls bathroom 3 times a day, which wasn't even his job.
The adult baby
At my first professional job, I worked with a 28-year-old woman who might as well have been 10. Her parents picked her up and dropped her off, she had to have them constantly reassure her, and her mom handled most of her affairs for her. I honestly never really understood why the office tolerated her incredible childish nature.
The top two moments for me:
- She got really emotional because a baby bird fell out of a tree outside. Her mom had to come pick her up, while her dad tried to put the bird back in the nest.
- I shared that my family dog was going to be put down, as he was 19 years old and his quality of life was nearly zero. This caused her to enter a screaming fit where she locked herself in the bathroom, and then she couldn't figure out how to unlock herself. We had to call a locksmith via building management.
Wherever you are, Sarah - I hope you are okay.
The huffer
About 10 years ago the place I worked at (glass & glazing factory) hired this 16 year old kid. Every day that week he would disappear into the toilet for at least 20 minutes at a time, upwards of three times a day.
It got progressively worse - the Thursday he literally wasted 2 and a half hours in there, until on the Friday the boss told him he needed to pick up his act, to which he replied that he didn't appreciate having his work-ethic questioned, and that he wouldn't be back Monday.
That last day, around 3:30pm he went into the toilet again, and at about 4:40 came out and said that he'd been bitten by a redback spider (black widow) and needed to go to the hospital, so he got on his BMX bike and left.
One of the other guys went in there after that to kill the spider and discovered a stash of our touch-up spray paint bottles hidden behind a steel I-beam in the corner of the toilet.
The kid had been stealing the spray paint and huffing it in the toilet until he passed out.
The human horn
We have this co-worker. We call him Ed Trumpet. He basically makes these trumpet sounds when he did something good.
He also using his table as his own drumset.
When he comes in he takes of his shoes and puts on these... Loafers...
Liar!
Had a coworker that was a legit pathological liar. We caught her in so many lies - these weren't even the "make yourself look better" type, but basically anything to get attention. She told us one Monday that she was sore because over the weekend she fell down 7 FLIGHTS of steps - we asked for clarification, maybe she meant 7 steps (still a big fall!), but no she doubled down, she claimed she rolled down 7 flights of stairs, one after the other.
She also claimed she was allergic to condoms when someone made a joke about me being allergic to latex. She wasn't claiming she was allergic to latex mind you, but literally all condoms, male or female, latex or not, she was allergic to it. I remember this one vividly because she claimed any guy was lucky to be with her. Spoiler alert: there are lots of alternatives to latex condoms these days, this girl was just nasty and she just wanted male attention. She was in her early 30s too - I could understand this behavior in a teenager but it's like she never matured passed the age of 15.
The sugar baby
Weirdest coworker I've had:
I'll call her Ann. Ann was in her late 20's, but almost every story of her purchasing anything either started with "My man bought me..." or "My daddy bought me..." - and I don't mean just expensive things, even her basic shoes and purse were purchased by either her SO or father. So, fairly immature, you get the picture.
She constantly tried to drown out the rest of us making light typing noises and stray conversation by turning up one of those "sleep machines" quite loudly. Her next-cubicle-neighbor constantly had to ask her to turn it down. The white noise setting was okay, but she also sometimes set it to Ocean or Rainforest, and Rainforest included bird sounds.
Even though she was trying to cover up our noises, she had no qualms about making her own. 65% of her job consisted of data entry, but every time she made a mistake, she exclaimed "Cheese and crackers!", "Dangit!", "Stars and stripes!", or "Oh gosh darn!". And she made a lot of mistakes in day.
Sounds like an awesome show
Dude I worked with was always putting on an act to hide the insane rage/hatred for the world/whatever he felt.
We'd sometimes watch out the window as he came in some mornings. You'd see him slam his car door, sometimes he'd swear loud enough to hear and then he'd walk toward the door looking like he was coming to shoot the place up.
Then he'd pause outside the door, take a few deep breaths and come into the shop with a wide smile and asking everyone how they were doing.
Glad he was qualified for the job
I had a coworker that knew every episode of the telletubbies by heart. He was like 30 years old.
Sometimes you never know
I worked at Pizza hut a while ago. There was a delivery driver that worked there and everyone liked him. He was funny, cracked jokes all the time, and seemed like a good guy. At the time, I had no car, so he would give me rides home if he had a delivery in the area. One day, he didn't show up to work and nobody could get ahold of him. We found out he didn't show up because he had murdered his girlfriend and then tried to kill himself.
Sometimes you just need someone to talk to
Coworker talks to herself as well as inanimate objects, and responds to herself as if it's an actual conversation. I can tell what she ate for lunch based on what barnyard animal noises she's making when she returns from break. She gets on her hands and knees and barks like a dog at random. A simple paper cut would make you think she lost a limb by the screams.
I'm the only person on staff who isn't terrified of her.
What a trouble maker
Margo, my 50 year old coworker, she made my life miserable for almost 2 years, everything started when I was 18. We were talking and I told her that I was in a band, so she told me that musicians were a bunch of thieves who only wanted people money and that "playing that guitar" was nonsense and a scam. I told her that she was being plain rude and ignorant, so she decided to spend the following 2 years making my life hell. She tried to get me fired SEVERAL times, called me names, mocked me for having depression, made fun of my looks (at the time I had long hair) and everything I did her son would do it better.
Definitely giving off the wrong vibe
Probably the guy who brought an escort into the office. Not sure what his motive was, probably wanted us to think he was a hit with the ladies. He had reception buzz 'his girl' in, she came up to his desk and led him out in full view of everyone. Procedures were changed shortly afterwards
The scavenger
I hate to associate my former coworker as weird but he was awesomely different. Unfortunately, he had some brain damage from a previous work accident and was now a dishwasher at the restaurant I use to work at. I thought he was hilarious because he had funny quirks. He absolutely hated signs posted for some reason and every time our annoying manager would post one he'd rip it down and throw it away which I loved. He also would eat a coworkers food that they walked away from. I mean like leave your bowl of ice cream for like 60 seconds and boom! Paul was all over it. He'd always have the same response and nobody could get mad at him. "A ghost ate it!"
The guy that's not good at small talk
Worked with him for four years, no real conversations besides work talk. ''Can you do this for me'' And so on, all the way through 4 years. He's a pastor, but works here at a warehouse. First real conversation after 4 years was this, keep in mind we've sat next to each other for 6 hours at this point in a small office.
First personal question after 4 years was:
''Have you ever seen 101 dalmatians''
me: ''Yeah I guess, when I was a kid''
''Okay''
Also, he coughs every 15th second and has a snotty nose, but he has never had his doctor look at it. People say he has had this insane cough for 7-8 years.
The fork hoarder
I worked at a software company with normal people and a kitchen with shared dishes and cutlery. One day we found it harder and harder to find forks, and after two weeks they were all gone.
A few weeks later a relatively new employee got fired. I had the luxury of cleaning out his desk after he was gone. Lo and behold in his drawer was about 25 forks. Like WTF.