Many of us sometimes fantasize about what we would do to our worst enemies, especially in the moments when they're actively making our lives worse.
While most of us would never actually do any of the things that we contemplate instead of screaming at that super annoying person at the office, we do get pretty creative with the ideas.
Redditor take_me_there_ asked:
"What WOULD you wish on your worst enemy?"
This One Would Hurt
"A conscience. Let her realize the horrific things she’s done."
- Jenny010137
"Seriously. Introspection, self awareness, and empathy are traits that would improve a lot of sh*tty people."
- el_muerte17
"Oh I wish I had thought of this one. If my enemy had a conscience, wow life would be much different."
- Shelbysouth43
No Pearly Whites For You
"I’d like all their teeth to turn really yellow and stay yellow no matter what they do."
- toothfixingfiend
"What did I ever do to you?"
- Spideredd
"I don't even know you! Give me back my enamel!"
- AngryMustache9
Everything You Own Is Orange Now
Snl Cheetos GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy"Permanent Cheeto fingers. Just orange cheese dust getting on everything."
- cocoapuff1721
"This has to be one of the most evil things I ever heard, yet absolutely hilarious."
-Merk0411
"The Midas Touch: Snack Edition"
- MaryVenetia
Ouch, But Forever
"Stubbing and breaking their toe and right as it’s about to be done healing it happens again over and over for the rest of their pitiful time on this hell we call earth."
- No-Bee-2971
"Sisyphoot"
- Alpha_6
"More of a Toemetheus imo"
- PykeTheDrowned
Self Reflection
"For them to realize how big of an a-hole they are."
- mayhemanaged
"Same for me. The trouble is mine probably knows what a tremendous a-hole he is, and just doesn't care (it's what defines him, is his outlook more than likely), so, give mine a conscience as well, he undeniably lacks one."
- RhoadsOfRock
"a crushing moment of self realization is something that can destroy you mentally. I wish that on them."
- chancetodream
Bury Them Under A Mountain Of Minor Inconveniences
"Always being hungry two hours after eating no matter how large the meal. Slow internet. Traffic jams no matter the location. Self doubt. Allergies. Favorite shows spoiled."
"Nothing major enough to be life altering but constant, low grade inconveniences that wear on your soul every day."
- I_Love_Small_Br**sts
"Every bite of food they eat/drink they drink being slightly the wrong temperature."
"Coffee? Warm but not hot. Cola? Cool, but not cold. Muffin? Ever so slightly frozen."
"Not enough to ruin their life, but just enough to not quite have full enjoyment of anything.."
- HappiHappiHappi
They'll Never Be Able To Use Their Computer Again
"Quick scan with McAfee on their computer."
- halflife_3
"You f**king monster."
- Orion_2kTC
"The constant pop-ups from McAfee is too far."
- _Land_Rover_Series_3
That's A New Level Of Evil
"Bed bugs."
- thrawn1825
"Currently dealing with bed bugs, and I can absolutely confirm this is the kind of thing I would wish upon my worst enemy. It is miserable and painful, and I've tried everything to get rid of them at this point."
"I would easily wish this upon my worst enemy, x10."
- ArbitrarilyStagnant
"Oh hell no, you went there... Hopefully they aren't living in an apartment complex or you've cursed everyone in the building."
- expect_less
Well of course I know him. He’s me.
Animated GIFGiphy"$100,000. I sure could use it."
- Sparklesperson
"'It’s no surprise to me I am my own worst enemy'"
- FishyVonFishenHymer
"Lol I thought this was that deep sh*t like 'pray for those you resent to have all the things you want in life….' Then I realized."
- No-Chipmunk9527
Forever Constipated
the powerpuff girls bubbles GIFGiphy"That they can never have a satisfying poop. They always feel like they have to go to the bathroom and when they do nothing comes."
- [User Deleted]
"Wow. That's evil. Always feeling the need to pee would be good (as in horrific) too."
- ipakookapi
We definitely don't recommend implementing any of these plans (not that most would actually be possible), but here's some new ideas for the next time you're stuck in a meeting with your most annoying coworker and need a little fantastical escape.
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Redditor j_breezy_ wanted to discuss what sinister tales cities and towns have to tell, so they asked:
"What’s your small town trying to cover up?"
Secrets, secrets, secrets... all towns have them.
All people have them.
The Land
Fox Death GIF by Animation Domination High-DefGiphy"There's a lively discussion about whether or not to repurpose land from an abandoned cemetery by exhuming those interred there and reburying them elsewhere. A commercial developer wants to build condos on land currently occupied by the cemetery."
Back2Bach
Do It Right The First Time...
"The city attempted to seize land to lay piping down without paying for it or permission, force homeowners to maintain it, and then force the homeowners to pay for the work and a large hook-up fee. It caused a huge ruckus, and the city was forced to go through the proper procedures to buy the land, lay the pipes, and fix and pay for any damages caused by the pipe laying."
"You see most folks in that area of town had septic tanks. The city wanted to charge more people for utilities so basically went around the voters to force the pipes through, claiming the people on the back of the properties wanted to be connected to the city. This wasn’t true and they faced a few dozen lawsuits because they fraudulently condemned septic tanks to force people onto the city line."
"My family ended up helping force the city to negotiate and do things properly. The stupid part of all of this, if they had just done it right the first time, they would have saved millions in labor, experts, and lawsuits and next to nobody would have cared."
Rachel1578
'Red Flagged'
"Not trying to necessarily 'cover it up' but the fire department doesn’t have an engine and the township board has not approved any of the ones that have been submitted to get a 'new' engine (not brand new cause those are expensive but ones that are useable). The board also thinks that the department doesn’t need to have safe gear."
"They’ve also said that the trucks do not need repairs and this has been going on for awhile, which has cause the issue of the engine being 'red flagged' (meaning it had to be taken out of commission). My father in law is the fire chief and my other half is on the department."
Next-Rutabaga-5060
The Mystery
"That the water in an area is clearly causing 'mysterious brain disease' where people just like... suddenly can't walk. I put 'mysterious brain disease' in quotes because a google search will tell you it's cyanobacteria, and the area has a giant plant that is clearly dumping stuff in the water to cause these issues."
"But the entire province's government just shrugged their shoulders and said 'wow that's weird, too bad all the cases have nothing in common!' (They all are from this one area of the world reporting this) and moved on with our lives. Here's the WIKI PAGE because it's big enough news that it gets it's own wiki page I guess: Mysterious Brain Disease"
River_tamm
Wasted
half life tech GIF by Feliks Tomasz KonczakowskiGiphy"Radioactive waste. Port Hope, Ontario. Cameco AKA Eldorado Nuclear (The people who processed the uranium used for the nuclear bombs in WW2) used to bury the waste all over town or send it straight into lake Ontario. Years/billions of dollars later and the problem still isn't solved."
Ro7ard
How many towns are toxic wastelands? It's a disgrace.
Marshed
"I’ve got a few…"
"The Quakers leased a large piece of land to glass makers for centuries. The land is basically in a marsh. As the Industrial Revolution took off, the manufacturing methods caused significant pollution. The large corporations that manufactured there never really updated the methods to comply with EPA."
"The site has been seeping chemicals into the watershed for a very long time. Just up the river is one of the first chemical production sites for DuPont. They dumped directly into the river. The old guys in the area talk about trucking thousands of barrels out of the site and dumping them into lakes, gravel pits, and quarries."
Jamescovey
Eminent Domain...
"Not a small town by any stretch of the imagination, but I live in a poor midsized city bordering a larger city, which has the full spectrum. They keep building stadiums, amusement parks, etc here. The city pulls eminent domain on several square blocks, runs everyone who lives there out, and gives the land to a developer for almost nothing."
"Then they waive all property and sales tax for several decades, longer than the facility will be in use. Almost nobody here votes, the few that do are unaware of the tax waivers, so it keeps going on despite the fact that there's literally no benefit to the city or the city government."
"We have higher taxes than our neighbor, but no public transit, way worse roads, and regular problems with power and water. But the city council and mayor are rich as f**k. I'm sure that's got nothing to do with it."
PM_ME_YOUR_FERNET
True Crime
"This is a sad one to me. There was an older couple here who ran a halfway house for troubled kids who’d recently gotten out of juvie, they fostered a few as well. They were loved in the community, wonderful people."
"One of them had an older brother who was a gangbanger in the nearest big city. During a visit, he snuck his 15 year old younger bro a handgun. Younger bro ended up holding up a local gas station and killed three people."
"One of them was my friend’s cousin."
"The foster parents lost whatever credentials they needed to do what they did, the kids went back into the system, and the giant house has been abandoned since around 2009."
KimBass2
A Dead End
"The fact that it's slowly dying, and has been for the last 10+ years. No amount of downtown renovation on the mom and pop craft shops or new fast food and cheap retail stores can change the fact that all the big industrial companies left town and there has been no attempt to replace them and no job opportunities other than... the fast food, cheap retail stores and mom and pop craft shops."
"This town (the whole county, really) is a dead end. Also, the tap water has WAY too much chlorine and other garbage in it and 9 times out of 10 your laundry will end up getting bleach stains. That's been a complaint for 20 years or more."
ZormkidFrobozz
Good Lord
"About 10 years ago a lot of homeless people disappeared and when the police did the investigation they found out a guy was kidnapping and eating those people. Police found his hideout and found a half eaten body and bones from another person. People don't like to talk about it but everyone knows what happened."
Deb_Mack
Some places have just too many secrets.
Do you have any some town secrets to share? Let us know in the comments below.
