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Monogamous People Explain Whether Infidelity Would Result In An Instant Breakup

Monogamous People Explain Whether Infidelity Would Result In An Instant Breakup
Photo by Ralph Labay on Unsplash

Romantic relationships have evolved considerably over the course of time.

Today, more and more couples who are otherwise committed to one another, in marriage or in word, have "open" relationships, where they are permitted to see other people on the side.

Also, many people are open about being in polyamorous relationships, where they might be equally committed and loving to more than one person.

Which isn't to say, however, that monogamous relationships are a thing of the past.

As many people continue to commit, body and soul, to one person and one person only.

And should one half of that couple break that commitment, it could be the effective end of that relationship.


Redditor bbananasplit was curious to hear whether, in this progressive age, people in monogamous couples would end their relationship over infidelity, leading them to ask:
"Monogamous Redditors: is infidelity an automatic break-up for you? why?"

Yes: What Else Are They Hiding?

"My ex-wife and high school sweetheart cheated after 3 years of marriage."

"My thoughts were summed up best by Nietzsche:"

"'I'm not upset that you lied to me'."

"I'm upset that from now on, I can't believe you'."- link_up_luke

Yes: We Had An Agreement

"Yes."

"If you’ve agreed on monogamy and someone cheats, it’s a violation of trust and without trust in a relationship, you have nothing."

"My relationship motto is, 'if you can be stolen, they can have you'.”- MermaidandtheKraken

Yes: I Deserve Better

"Yes, is a violation of trust, and shows lack of love and respect."- Ketosheep

"Yes."

"It’s a massive violation of trust and complete destruction of the idea of mutual respect."- razzledazzle626

Yes: You Never Recover From The Betrayal

"Yeah, the jealousy fades fairly quick but it's the breach of trust that gets to you."

"I was able to piece together a string of lies leading back months, finding out two different friend groups knew two different stories, etc."

"After that it's hard to even look at the person without seeing a sociopath."- Thatsaclevername

"Yes."

"I've been cheated on, and the pain of the betrayal is the harshest I've ever felt."

"It's completely destroyed my ability to trust anyone."- otter_dragon

Yes: They Know What They're Doing

"Yes."

"Cheating isn’t an accident."

"It’s a choice."

"It takes effort."

"I’d never be able to trust my partner again even if I wanted to."- A_Salty_Moon

Yes: Fidelity Is A Two Way Street

"Yeah."

"It might take me a bit to really accept it, but I refuse to give my loyalty to someone who doesn't return it."- Trashsodaz

Yes: It Only Gets Worse

"I let it happen twice."

"We broke up the second time."

"She begged me back after 4 months and 6 months later she’s being devious and shady."

"I’ll never be able to trust her."

"I wouldn’t let it happen again."

"It’s the worst feeling imaginable."- Myke_Dubs

Yes: There's Nothing Worse

"Yep."

"It couldn't ever go back to being a nice, loving, trusting relationship again."

"I'd be way too paranoid and ultimately, what's the point in trying to force it?"

"Cheating is the ultimate betrayal, it's a no go for me."- bigf*ckingdiamond

If people agree on an open, non-monogamous relationship, that is their decision and not for us to judge.

But people who enter into a monogamous relationship have made an agreement to commit to one another, and no one else.

And when people can't keep one agreement, it becomes hard not to wonder what other agreements they might have broken as well.

People Break Down How They Realized Their True Sexual Orientation

Reddit user TheGreek1 asked: 'What made you realize your true sexual orientation?'

Group hug with people holding rainbow flags
Janosch Lino/Unsplash

Everyone has a different journey on their road to self-discovery.

Especially when it comes to their sexual identity, many young adults struggle with not fitting in and wondering where they belong in social situations.

It's common for many of these individuals to be ashamed and suppress their identity for fear of being judged or ridiculed, while others have a support system at home or among close friends.

Curious to hear how people arrived at their moments of self-discovery, Redditor TheGreek1asked:

"What made you realize your true sexual orientation?"

Exposure to media helped these Redditors with their epiphany.

The Guy On TV

"So one day I saw a tv show, and there was a gay guy in some part of it, so I thought to myself, am I gay? And I came to the conclusion that I am in fact, straight."

– ShapeShiftingBruh

"Same! Or you may see a good looking guy but it doesn’t feel the same way as seeing a good looking woman. I hope that makes sense."

– gomeazy

Erotic Magazine

"I stumbled upon a stack of old playboys when I was 7 actually. I was very very intrigued. Before that I thought boys and girls both had penises lmaoo."

– 335i_lyfe

'Cuz Ya Gotta Have Faith

"I’m dating myself here but George Michael’s video for 'Faith.' At the beginning there is a hot girl in high heels leaning against a jukebox on one side and he’s on the other side. My eyes went to him. I thought, maybe I just want some jeans like that. Naw. I wanted what was IN the jeans."

– shakycam3

Some experimented to determine their sexuality.

Trying Oral

"Honestly? I had some doubts at first. So I let a guy go down on me during a 3some with his girlfriend. He was a freshman psychology student and had just learned about Kinsey and was making a big long speech about how sexuality is a spectrum, and nobody is truly 100% straight, and you know what? It was kind of compelling. So there I am, getting what was probably the third blowjob of my life, and I just can't stay hard. This dude was motivated, and no matter what he did... I think I was every bit as surprised as he was."

– porn0please

Best Buddy Hook-Up

"Same here. I thought, 'let’s try men, see how it goes!' Found myself hooking up with a close male friend who is, by all means, a f'kin smoke show."

"It was a safe space. I felt comfortable. And I learned - at most I’m a Kinsey 1 maybe. Maybe a Kinsey 0.5."

"If I die without ever being with another man, all good."

– astoneworthskipping

Those who were acquainted with or related to these Redditors tried to convince them of their sexuality.

Recognizing Beauty, Not Acting On It

"My sister in law was trying to convince me I was 'bisexual with a preference for men.' She wouldn’t let it go, all because I can appreciate when a woman is beautiful. I told her that I can see when a woman is beautiful, but it doesn’t mean I’m attracted to them."

Saint_Galahad

Little Closeted

"My best friend in high school was a lesbian, and was always trying to convince me that I was bi. I was like, 'lol no, I'm straight af.' Well, one night with my guy of many years, we were opening up about our kinks and- I don't know, I guess I just finally felt safe enough- but I realized I'd always kept a door closed inside of me where I knew I was also attracted to women."

"I've had way too many bad experiences in the past with female friends (who I think were actually crushes) to actually ever think about dating a woman, but I'm definitely also sexually attracted to them."

– Dizzy_Duck5436

Impressions made from a certain age can't be forgotten.

Kindergarten Crush

"When I went to kindergarten round-up when i was 5, I remember seeing two very pretty girls and thinking I would like to kiss them. To be honest, 35 years later those two women are still very pretty and I would still like very much like to kiss them."

– 2aboveaverage

The Handsy Child

"I remember falling in love with my first grade teacher. Ms. Florence. It has always been ladies for me. I read these modern discussions where people are debating sexuality, and it just doesn’t compute. My Grandpa told stories about me putting my hands down women’s shirts at age two/three."

– momentum_1999

My elementary teacher's assistant was a high school student named Randy.

He was the first guy I couldn't take my eyes off of.

He was a redhead, had freckles, and stunning green eyes that looked deep back into mine whenever I pretended I had a question for him but fumbled with my attempt at small talk.

I recognized him as a beautiful man but I didn't understand why I gravitated toward him as I was years from having any kind of sexual comprehension or awakening as a ten-year-old.

But I know for certain that was when I realized I was "different" when I pined for him and wanted to be near him every time I went to school.

I wonder what Randy is up to now?

Do you sometimes think about the people from your past you've had crushes on?

woman taking photo of high-rise building

Priscilla Du Preez 🇨🇦 on Unsplash

As a child, my family traveled extensively throughout the United States. Both of my parents loved to travel.

I went to 48 of 50 states—just Alaska and Hawaii left—as well as parts of Mexico and Canada with my parents. As an adult, a job I had for 13 years required travel, sometimes for a month or more.

Through that job I made it to Germany and Japan.

Needless to say I've seen my share of tourist attractions and tourist traps. But I'm a sucker for kitsch.

So while I love going to Wall Drug every time I'm headed west on Interstate 90 in South Dakota, others might say to skip it.

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Man thinking hard
Photo by jose aljovin on Unsplash

We've all heard our fair share of conspiracy theories, and whether or not we truly believe them, we can agree that they're fun to think about.

But there are some that are more sinister than others, and some that are far too applicable to simply ignore.

Redditor Specific_Shop_3975 asked:

"What's a conspiracy with the most evidence to back it up?"

The Sinking of RMS Lusitania

"The British government deliberately put the RMS Lusitania in harm's way to get her sunk to bring the USA into WW1. The fact the records have been resealed for another 100 years adds credence to this conspiracy."

- Blackmore_Vale

"Dude, it's not even a conspiracy theory. The German consulate took out a two-page ad in the New York Times telling people to not board because they were going to sink it."

"Also at the time Britain didn't have an option but to sell the ship because it was carrying so many munitions that they desperately needed. This isn't a conspiracy theory; it's just plain fact."

"Both governments knew the risks and they needed it to galvanize support."

- hagantic42

Not So Sweet Candy Stores

"In the UK, there was a recent boom in American sweet shops that sold grossly overpriced import candy. They were suddenly everywhere after the pandemic, they didn’t sell much, but they were everywhere."

"Someone on TikTok theorized that they were all money laundering fronts, so people started filming in the shops laughing at the prices, and staff always seemed to get really angry about it."

"Then it was announced last year that there was an HMRC (UK’s tax wing of government) investigation started because the theory held water, and suddenly they all shut down."

"The one in Leeds Centre near Trinity currently has a notice of abandonment in the window and you can see the shelves are still stocked: the owners just ran off and left it."

"Sounds like another successful case for the TikTok detectives."

- fearthe0cean

What's Behind the Price of a Piece of Art

"Modern art is just money laundering."

"Nobody pays 2.2 million for a blank canvas."

- Poultry_Master123

"The brilliance of modern art money laundering can't be understated."

"Alfred wants to pay Brad $100k for a bribe."

"Brad wants this money to be 'clean' to avoid authorities looking into him."

"Brad 'sells' a worthless modern art piece for $100k."

"Alfred has now successfully transferred the bribe to Alfred. However, Brad is now in possession of a painting that the 'market' says is worth $100k. Down the line, Alfred might be able to sell this now 'valuable' piece of art to a third party for $50k, $100k, or potentially at a profit!"

"It can get even more complex when the artist is basically a part of the money laundering ring. This makes it so that Brad can fictionally increase the cost of buying the art from the artist in the first place in order to make the money laundering less obvious."

- Zigxy

Why So Many Options?

"There is something fishy going on at Mattress Firm. How can they stay in business with a store in practically every plaza when the average person buys a new mattress every decade or so?"

- PWcrash

Quite the Distraction

"Might not be a 'conspiracy theory' per se. But I believe that the government works hard to cover up their own incompetence."

"Part of that is manufacturing insane conspiracy theories as a way to make anyone who asks questions look crazy. Or at least to serve as a distraction."

- ButtFarquad66

A Conspiracy Is a Conspiracy

"The meta-conspiracy to convince dumb people that the word 'conspiracy' means 'a crazy person’s imagination.'"

"Conspiracies happen every day. There’s a global conspiracy of adults to convince kids Santa is real. It’s not necessarily a bad thing, but it’s a conspiracy."

"Somewhere along the line, the word got hijacked and it immediately discredits whoever says it. It’s practically a trap to use the word, so you have to dance around it if you want to describe people planning things in secret."

- Bob_the_peasant

Widely Discredited

"The government deliberately leaked false information to UFO investigators to discredit them because they were getting too close to the truth."

"(The truth being that Area 51 was a testing grounds for spy planes and stealth aircraft and was attracting too much attention for a secret weapons facility.)"

- 4thofeleven

"I think the government does this with conspiracy theories across the board. Promoting outlandish tinfoil hat-type theories helps discredit the ones that are actually real."

- QUINNFLORE

Another Money Laundering Front

"Benetton is a front for Italian mob money laundering."

"Probably wasn't at first back in the 80s but now... decent-sized stores in expensive real estate all over Europe, never anyone in the stores, never seen anyone wearing the clothes, don't know anyone that's bought anything from them, ever, and neither do those people."

- Bannedin_3_2_1

"I shop there all the time, in both Italy and Switzerland. It’s the highest quality for the most reasonable price that I can regularly find in Europe. I’m never the only one in there or checking out, either."

- AdultDisneyWoman

"Sounds like something a money launderer would say."

- kjm16216

Residential Monopoly

"Blackrock and Vanguard are buying up all the residential property they can in order to get the majority of Americans renting from them. Estimates say by 2030 they will own 60% of residential property."

- smartsapants

"I so wish we could all stop fighting about dumb sh*t for just a few weeks so both sides of the country could pass a law that bans any corporation or non-US citizen from owning residential property(with some provisions to account for things like bank loans obviously)."

"This would have such a massive effect on quality of life going into the future. Of course, it won’t happen."

- ternic69

People of Influence Parties

"The Bilderberg group. Every year in summer, they meet, and people keep track of who is there. Guest lists every year. Top politicians, royalty, corporate owners. Extreme security. No protocols."

"There is confirmation from a variety of these people that they were there."

"So, what do they talk about? Are they coordinated somehow after each meeting? How much influence do they have?"

"Well, given the extreme security, it's difficult to say. I am sure it's nothing, though. Why would those groups of people want to influence the world to suit their agendas, right?"

"Also note, anyone discussing this gets called a tin foil hat, or paranoid, or a conspiracy theorist who probably also believes in antivaxx reptilian....."

- Common-Wish-2227

Secret Climate Change

"The petroleum companies knew burning fossil fuels would lead to global climate change but hid the evidence of their own funded studies and did nothing to curb consumption, instead funded groups opposed to renewable, non-greenhouse gas generating energy to maximize shareholder value."

- 85_Draken

The Travels of Elvis Presley

"Elvis didn’t die in 1977. He was working with the government (DEA OR CIA? I can’t remember?). When he was compromised they had to fake his death."

"He actually moved to Argentina and lived the rest of his life down there."

"There were a lot of sightings. My favorite is when one of his house workers reported someone that looked just like him lying out by the pool at his own house the day after he died."

"It’s a fun theory that is pretty convincing the more you look into it."

- Affectionate-Win-788

Conspiracies All the Way Down

"People believe all the governments in the world have collaborated on keeping the shape of the Earth and our inability to visit the Moon a secret..."

- draculamilktoast

"But what about the turtle we are sitting on?"

- KAG25

"More importantly, what about the turtle THAT turtle is sitting on?"

- Hym3n

Intentionally Divisive

"That our governments are turning us all against each other to distract us from the blatant wealth manipulation, corrupt practices, nepotism, cronyism, among hundreds of other big issue things. Their plans working a treat and the people as a whole can't see what's happening and start working together against it."

"We are losing our privacy, our rights, and our sense of connection with one another. We drift away while they get more and more powerful. People hand away their rights like they're going to get them back and never question it when it's not."

"Our planet had to deal with another of the world power's attempts at control and that's the pandemic or should I say the reaction to it. I was always a believer it happened naturally but as time goes on it becomes more apparent it wasn't."

"We are bodies hanging from the roof being bled dry slowly but if this keeps up we aren't just f**ked like a world war or nuclear war, if we don't do anything we will lose whatever control we have and we will never get it back."

- Magic_Kushroom

From interesting and wowing to deeply troubling, there's truly no shortage of conspiracies and conspiracy theories out there for people to puzzle over and research.

The most troubling thing about them, honestly, has to be the stigma surrounding a person's interest in them. As soon as someone expresses interest in one of these theories, others are quick to discredit them.

A couple sitting in a movie theater
Felipe Bustillo/Unsplash

As Nicole Kidman wisely tells patrons of AMC movie theatres that we go to the movies to "laugh, to cry, to cry, to care."

"Because we need that. All of us."

And the movies that really make an impression on us are the ones that do all of the above as she described.

When characters are well-developed and the actors portraying them really connect with the audiences, they stay with us forever.

There's nothing more heartbreaking than seeing our favorite heroes–whether supernatural or based on actual, real people–suffer loss or meet their own untimely demise.

Curious to hear from moviegoers, Redditor CallyB0225 asked:

"What is the saddest movie scene ever?"

Don't underestimate the power of animated films.

Parting Is Such Sweet Sorrow

"The Fox and the Hound when the old woman has to leave Todd in the game preserve to save him and her tears as she drives away without him."

– snortybeagle

"Also the scene where Todd gets out and she’s running through the woods with a lantern calling for him. Reminds me of losing my cat."

– aaron_hoff

Baby Mine, Don't You Cry

"When Dumbo's mom rocked him from behind her cage 😭"

– LimpCauliflower8579

"Baby mine, don't you cry Baby mine, dry your eyes Rest your head close to my heart Never to part, baby of mine."

"F'k. I had to take a little baby possum to get euthanized because its mama had been hit by a car and killed along with its siblings. It was awful - you could see some of the babies had survived the impact and tried to crawl off, only to be hit themselves. This little one was the only one left when I got there, but it was too injured to make it. It sounds so dumb but I sang a bit of this song to it while I held it on my lap on the way to the vet. I know it's anthropomorphizing them too much, but possums seem like such good mamas."

– lizardingloudly

Dinosaurs Grieve Too

"The first movie in the Land Before Time. Broke my heart. Still does."

– HeelerDot18

"Littlefoot mistaking his shadow for his mother."

“Mother? Mother!”

– justputonsomemusic

"That scene KILLS me because I know that exact feeling. My mother died when I was 12, and for a long time after she died, I would see someone who looked like her and have this cruel, crazy stab of hope that my mom wasn’t really gone."

– captcha_trampstamp

A Cub Grows Up

"Simba begging Mufasa to wake up. That tiny little 'help.'"

– mossadspydolphin

"get up....we gotta go home...."

– imthe1nonlyD

Remember The Dead

"The scene in Coco where Miguel is trying to get mama Coco to remember her father. My daughters and I all cried at the theater. Mama Coco reminded us so much of my grandmother. At that point we had lost 3 of my grandparents. 1 each year. My grandmother was all we had left. She died a few years after the movie came out. My daughter hasn't watched it since because she knows she will cry even harder."

– thiswilltakeamiracle

When a character has an epiphany, we're right there with them.

Unsatisfied Hero

"The 'I could have saved more' scene where Schindler has an emotional breakdown after the workers gave him a ring engraved with the quotation: 'Whoever saves one life saves the world entire' and was then comforted by the workers in the movie Schindler's List."

– SuvenPan

The Gift Meant For Someone Else

"Emma Thompson in her bedroom after she receives the Joni Mitchell CD for Christmas."

– khendron

"Just phenomenal acting. I can’t remember who said it, but there’s a quote that watching someone trying not to cry is somehow sadder than watching someone cry and it’s so true."

– prunellazzz

Parting is such sweet sorrow.

The Last Bedtime Story

"When the mom tucks her kids in and the old couple go to bed together in Titanic knowing they’re going to die."

– enlenar

"The mother and children are Irish, and in that scene she’s telling them an old Irish story about going to a land of eternal youth and beauty. The only way she could attempt to comfort them knowing what is to come."

"As a mother I couldn’t imagine making that decision. To spend our last moments in utter chaos fighting for our lives, or going back to the quiet of the cabin and dying as a family there. Gut wrenching."

– SylviaKasen

The Most Loyal Dog Ever

"Hachiko waiting for his friend to come back every day at the train station."

– 33-9

"Omg, I think that would be number 1 on my list, I don’t think I’ve ever cried harder than at the end of Hachi."

– OP

A Soldier Dies

"When Giovanni Ribisi’s character dies in Saving Private Ryan, after telling the story about pretending to be asleep when his mom checked in on him."

– howdysteve

"His whole story about his mom and his final line "...I don't know why I did that..." really hits me hard, and I always shoot my mom a sloppy, cheesy text immediately after the scene."

– duskywindows

Meeting His Maker

"In the Green Mile when John Coffey (Michael Clarke Duncan) gets executed. "Don't put me in the dark." Gets me every time..."

– Vivid-Voyage

"That was the first movie to make me sob, not get teary eyed, but painful sobbing."

"Also RIP Michael Clarke Duncan."

– shewy92

While we go through tissues blowing our noses and wiping away our tears (hopefully not in that order), "somehow, heartbreak feels good in a place like this."

Yes, Nicole Kidman. We love to ugly cry in movie theaters.

But we'll never look as stunning as you while doing so. ​