Not all Tinder dates are created equal, we're sorry to say, and after Redditor vaginalbiopsy asked the online community, "What was your worst Tinder date experience?" we admit it piqued our curiosity.
It's nice to know, once you've returned home from another disastrous or disappointing date, that you're not alone, that other people have also had trouble meeting people.
Then there are the stories that are downright crazy.
Let's just say we're glad we haven't run into at least a few of these people. Our deepest condolences, friends!
"Then he laughs..."
We have really great conversation and set up a standard happy hour drinks after work date. He starts with, "Obviously," I cannot emphasize enough how not obvious this was at the time, "I'm a huge fan of horror and like to role play," takes out a small stylized curved pocket knife, "all," taps my bare leg with it, "the," taps my bare arm with it, "time," and slides it up to my shoulder.
Then he laughs, and I make desperate conversation for four minutes and then "go to the bathroom" and slip out the side door. I've never been explicitly more afraid for my life than in those moments.
"I once went over..."
I once went over to a guy's house I met on Tinder, put together some ikea furniture (willingly) and then left right after. Never spoke to him again.
"Ended up going out..."
GiphyWorst: Ended up going out with a cute goth girl... She ended up being a cute Nazi girl.
Bugged out after she said my skull looked very Aryan.
"When I got to the table..."
Went on a date with a guy from tinder.
We arranged to meet at a coffee shop. I arrived 10 minutes early and the guy was already sat at a table, he had already ordered a coffee and some food that he had started eating.
When I got to the table he told me not to bother sitting down and to go and order myself something.
Now I wasn't expecting him to pay, but at least wait for me to get there?
He then spent the next hour talking about how he cleaned his oven and microwave.
Was a pretty strange experience.
"Girl used deceptive photos..."
Girl used deceptive photos on her Tinder profile and barely looked anything like her photos when I met her in person. She was nice, so I still gave her a good date, but I just honestly lost interest the moment I found out she was using deceptive photos and basically catfished me. What made it awful is that she really enjoyed the date and told me that it was her first date ever. I felt like such an awful human being for rejecting her.
"Date ended..."
I met this guy who didn't even know what the word 'suspicious' meant. Date ended with him asking to see me again and me asking him to get his money back for his degree.
I wouldn't have been like that about it but he was so egotistical and self-important. He was treating me like I was completely thick but he honestly didn't have two brain cells to rub together. He wouldn't stop bragging about his crappy BS degree too
"She didn't know that..."
My worst Tinder date was when I got catfished, decided to stay anyway, and in the restaurant we had to go up and order? She didn't know that and after 15 minutes of waiting she slammed her fist on the table and said where the f*** is this waiter, to which point I stood up, put down £15 so she could buy some food, and I left. Safe to say I unmatched.
"We clicked..."
A few years ago I matched with this woman who seemed great. We clicked and hit it off. She lived about an hour and a half away from me, so we talked for about a month before finally agreeing to meet. The plan was for her to drive down and we would meet at the zoo, before going back to my place to watch a movie and talk. I got to the zoo first because I lived close, and when she showed up, I immediately realized that there was no spark. Like, at all. I didn't want to be rude though, and I was still determined to give it the good ol' college try. So I stuck it out.
The date at the zoo was just...blegh. I had more fun playing with the animals in the petting zoo. After the zoo, we still went to my apartment because I would've felt bad just sending her away. What proceeded next was the two most awkward hours I've ever spent in my own apartment. Finally, and thankfully, it was over, and I walked her out to her car. She tried to kiss me, but I turned it into a hug instead. When she got home, she texted me and asked why I didn't kiss her. I finally had to tell her that I just wasn't feeling it. I know many other people have much worse/better stories, but this one still makes me cringe.
"I had hooked up..."
I had hooked up with a girl a bit older than me (maybe 3 years) but she still lived with her Mum. I ended up having to hide behind a door for like 45 minutes after her mum came home before I could sneak out.
"Out of nowhere..."
My worst tinder "date" experience was pretty traumatizing for me at the time. I put date in quotations because we never went on a real date. I was a sophomore in college and she was a junior or senior at the same school. The first time we ever hung out, I went over to her apartment and we just watched some Netflix and hung out. Nothing crazy. I was thinking this chick is super cool, we may have something here. So I leave telling her I'd like to see her again if she's down. She told me she would love to and just hit her up whenever and we'll make some plans.
We start texting/snap chatting throughout the week and organize some plans for the following weekend. Out of nowhere, she starts sending me unsolicited nudes. Never once asked for them and when we were hanging out the weekend prior, there was no sexual activity at any level. We quite literally Netflix and chilled. It caught me off guard, but I was more than cool with it. I'm a young college guy and this hot older chick wants to send me nudes after only hanging out one time? Say less.
Fast forward to the weekend, she comes to my apartment and we're hanging out with my roommates watching something on TV. She asks me if she can stay the night, and after sending nudes to me all week, I kind of figured what was up, so in my head I'm like "....uhh f*** yes". But I tell her of course and to be polite I offer to sleep on the couch because we've only known each other for all of about 2 weeks and have only seen each other in person one time prior. She tells me she'd rather me sleep in my bed with her, so I know it's on.
We get to Netflix and chilling in my room and I make a move. We start to hook up and eventually wind up having sex. I wore a condom and after tossed it off to my side of the bed. As we're laying there after a few minutes, she gets up abruptly, comes around to my side of the bed and grabs the condom off the floor and runs into the bathroom. I'm a little confused, maybe a little concerned but kind of brush it off.
As I'm laying there in my bed I hear a loud crash in my bathroom she yells "fuck" I ask if she's okay and get no response. I'm a little concerned thinking this girl just fell in my bathroom and cracked her head open or something. I go to open the door and she is standing in my shower with one leg propped up trying to shove the condom up her vagina after she flipped it inside out. I freak out, no clue what to do. She's clearly freaked out and probably embarrassed? I have no clue. I shut the door and she immediately comes back out, says she's gonna leave and I say sounds good. I never hear from her again.
People's Absolute Worst Vacation Destinations
Reddit user ITSSAMMYG asked: 'What was your worst ever holiday destination?'
Traveling for most people is a wonderful adventure, full of new experiences, sights, and memories.
But even for the best travelers, there are bound to be some flop destinations along the way.
Redditor ITSSAMMYG asked:
"What was your worst ever holiday destination?"
Canberra
"Canberra. Not a bad holiday overall, there just wasn't much to do. It's such a weird place."
- Capital-Rhubarb
"If you're a nerd like me, then you never get tired of visiting Canberra. All the national institutions, museums, galleries, libraries, courts, parliaments new and old, decent food and beer, and beautiful walks around the lake. Not a touristy place at all for most people, but I love it."
- pistola
"Absolutely agree. Canberra should theoretically be a great city… but it’s just a bit... off?"
- aimztw
Las Vegas
"Las Vegas. The Douchebag Capital of America. When all our kids were in summer camps, my wife wanted to go on a lark. I've been to multiple conventions here, so it's old hat to me."
"The weather was actually unusually mild for late June, so no complaints there. But, having been to LV on both business and pleasure now, every visit follows the same pattern."
"Day One: Oh, cool. Neon! Wayne Newton! Weird architecture! Naked excess!"
"Day Two: Okay. Yeah, seen that and done that. And no, I don't want to deal with a gauntlet of guys handing me t*tty flyers as I walk down the street. F**k, I just want to have a drink in peace without somebody's rowdy bachelor party going on two tables over."
"And I really am bothered watching that 80-something woman feed quarters into a slot machine for fourteen consecutive hours. She was there this morning, she was there when I went back to my room, and now she's there at 10 tonight. Like she's grown a taproot or something. That woman's the real Las Vegas, not what you see in the ads. This place is like a really f**king hot Gatlinburg with slot machines."
"Day Three: Get me out of this place. Red Rocks. The Hoover Dam. Any place but this soul-sucking, tacky-a**ed, gimcrack s**thole. Short of Gary, Indiana, or a Calcutta slum, this has to be the most depressing place on the planet."
- AnybodySeeMyKeys
"The perfect way to do Vegas is to fly in early on a Saturday, do all the pool stuff, or golf, or see some of the sights. Have a nice lunch, and maybe play some games. Eat a really nice dinner, gamble and drink all night, and fly out before noon the next day. One night, in and out."
- SeeYouOn16
Gatlinburg
"Gatlinburg/Pigeon Forge, Tennessee."
"I went a few times in the 90s and it was great. Nice hiking, beautiful views, and a secluded cabin. Just nice and relaxing."
"I went again in 2018 and you couldn’t pay me enough to ever go anywhere near there again. Traffic is a nightmare, tourist trap, s**tty food, crowded hiking trails, the views are littered with McMansion-style 'cabins.'"
"And our 'secluded cabin with mountain views' we went down in a valley with 10 other cabins. Our Mountain View was out of one window on the top floor if you looked up at the right angle. Worst vacation ever, I couldn’t wait to leave."
- PhobiaToyBox
Marmaris
"Marmaris, Turkey."
"Just constant harassment from locals who assume you're rich and my Black mate would be called Eddie Murphy or Micheal Jordan (which he thought was kinda funny as he's a short a**)."
"Such a dirty overcrowded s**t hole."
- Hankstinkbuckle
Liechtenstein
"Liechtenstein. It wasn't bad, just not very interesting."
"Also, both my friends and I got horrific food poisoning in a café before heading to the airport to fly home. We all had the s**ts, and I even ended up vomiting into the X-ray tray when going through security, causing me to miss my flight. Not my finest holiday."
- TheWouldBeMerchant
Dominican Republic
"I went to a destination wedding at a resort in the Dominican Republic. I paid full price for a room that wasn’t as nice as advertised (jungle view is actually a vista of more damn buildings) and they wouldn’t stop pestering us to attend timeshare sales meetings."
"It wasn’t safe to venture off the resort. Never going back."
- BlueLarkSpur_1929
"In Dominican Republic, my friend's parents paid for a guided tour, and at the end of the trip, the guide took all of their money and valuables."
"He was meant to have been really funny and charismatic, they thought he was joking at first."
- TheRealSlabsby
Jordan
"My Jordan experience was sexist."
"I have to say everywhere I've been to has been great, but, speaking for my ex-wife, I'd have to say Jordan."
"She surprised me for my 30th Birthday with a trip to Jordan. She also wanted to prove that the scene in Indian Jones (the third one, I think?) in Petra is real."
"The hotel staff was very condescending to my wife, looking at me to 'take over' and handle it. Kept asking me questions while she was standing right in front of them. At one point, she went down to get money off the credit card and they refused her. I took HER, not my, credit card and they gave me money without batting an eye."
"Tour guides were very unresponsive to her questions, and conversation, and engaged me as a tour guide would."
"We decided to head out a day early, not much to do after ruins and Petra. She called the airlines, and they refused to change the tickets, informing her there was no room. She went into Karen mode to no avail. Frustrated, she hung up the phone after probably 30 minutes."
"Something told me I should call them. I called right after her, and they were more than happy to put us on an earlier flight."
"We got... extra security... when we left. We were used to random questions, passport checks. That comes with traveling the world."
"First, an armed guard did the passport checks, asking us all sorts of questions about WHY caps on purpose, we went here, and WHY we went there. Very aggressive. Consulted with another armed guard and let us go. Then, while sitting down, a uniformed military person say down next to us and started questioning us."
"I would definitely go again, but I would advise my significant other about the experience."
- ReticenceDriftShadow
Albania
"Albania 2022. It was full of trash, scammers, and s**t quality everything. All the cities are so worn down and everything is concrete grey. No beautiful old towns like Croatia, Spain, and Italy."
"Every beach we visited was full of jetski jerks, waterbikes, and garbage. All the restaurants/bars/beach clubs were competing to play the loudest music. The only thing tolerable to enjoy was some scenic nature when driving far away from everything, but still, you would walk around in garbage if you stepped out of the car."
"And that rental car was moldy and s**t to drive. We had booked a newer model car, but that was stuck on a truck in France (sure thing) but we would get a 100 euro refund and get a very nice car instead. It looked like a bear had attacked the car. We're still waiting for that refund. Hate it!"
- ColdFeedPotatoe
Branson, Missouri
"Branson, Missouri. I will never go again until I'm a senior citizen."
- el_monstrueo
"I’ve said that for years. It’s only fun if you’re under 12 or over 70."
"I had a great time at Silver Dollar City a couple of times as a kid. Then I went in my mid-20s and thought I would die of boredom."
"Now, in my 40s, I’d enjoy more of the rural-type things near there, like fishing, boating, kayaking, hiking, etc. But you would not get me anywhere near that awful Branson main drag."
- mmm_unprocessed_fish
Venice, Italy
"Venice in mid-June eight or nine years ago. The city itself is impressive and the architecture is marvelous, but it was terribly crowded, full of tourists and street scammers/ suspicious ambulant vendors, also everything was at least twice as expensive as other lovely but more low profile places we saw in Italy."
- Latham_Scandelieus
Southern Illinois
"I went to Southern Illinois at Christmas time. First time I'd been there. Flat, desolate, brown, and f**king cold. It's like being on a s**t version of the moon where everything f**king sucks. Awful."
"I went there in spring once though, it was lovely."
- Doctor_WhiskyMan
Delhi
"Delhi. Unfortunately stayed in the worst part and almost lost my leg the first night we were there."
"I was in a tuk-tuk crash and had I not been a tourist and looking around, I wouldn’t have seen it a moment before it happened and my leg would have been crushed between the tuk-tuk and the road barrier. The whole side of it crumpled in and needed lifting back onto the road. Very frightening."
- ItsYaBoyTC
Jamaica
"Jamaica. Upon leaving the resort it was immediately obvious that the place was unsafe for tourists. The resort itself was adequate and we didn't mind staying within the bubble, someone with plans to explore the island was sure to be disappointed or dead or both."
- cutelyaware
"My wife and I went to pick Ocho Rios for our honeymoon. Our room was a 'jungle view,' meaning it was in the part of the property across the road from the main hotel and restaurants. They had golf carts that you called to bring you back and forth. We were warned not to cross on our own, as once we left the gate, we were subject to police harassment or getting assaulted by local criminals."
- pedantic_dullard
Sihanoukville
"Sihanoukville, Cambodia. We left after one night despite having booked for longer. Empty, abandoned concrete skyscraper shells and loads of Chinese who are Triads. Horrible experience."
- Davelydelicious
While traveling is an important and enriching experience for a person to learn more about someone else's culture and beliefs, it's clear that there are some experiences that will be had that are better off not being repeated.
People fighting with their own insecurities will go to great lengths to overcome them.
Unfortunately, some of those tactics come at a cost, especially if the endeavor to attain a desired status is a vanity project rather than an improvement of a person's well-being.
Curious to hear from strangers online who pursued a superficial achievement, Redditor Beneficial_Form8563 asked:
"What is the stupidest thing you have ever done to try to be cool?"
These people were more concerned about keeping up with appearances.
Showing Off Your Seat
"Wore my pants backwards during the 90s when kriss kross was popular, so glad we didn't have social media back then."
– Rocjames77
Undesired Contrast
"Tanning booths."
"Had a lady friend that was into those. I only did it like 5 times. I was so dark, the grey hair on my chest were literally glowing."
– mrxexon
Hot Gangsta
"In junior high I wore a hoodie all year because I thought it would make me look gangsta. This included those balmy 90+ degree Texas days."
– Old_Army90
Causing A Spectacle
"In 1st grade, I was very jealous of people with glasses. I wore an old pair of my mom's sunglasses and said they were prescription. So I was, what, 6ish, wearing GIANT 1970s woman's sunglasses and couldn't see sh*t."
"My teacher saw right through it, of course (something I couldn't do). She didnt call me out, just humored me, to a point."
"I kept taking them off to read the chalkboard and she told me to put them back on. She called my mom and explained the situation. Mom picked me up from school and all I remember is denying it, and then my mom expressed her disappointment that I'd lie to her and to a teacher."
"So I told kids I switched to contacts (which were barely a thing then, especially for kids)."
– ahhh_ennui
These Redditors didn't think about consequences.
Amateur Acrobat
"When I was 8 my sister had her friends over, all teenagers, and trying to be cool I jumped on the trampoline in front of them and told them I’d do a backflip. I’d never done a backflip so I landed on my neck, bounced off the trampoline and broke my wrist."
– Artemis64z
Painful Experiment
"Tried to strike a Zippo lighter on my 'stubble'. I was about fifteen; it was fluffy hair. Ripped a zit out of my face. Looked like I’d been shot. Still have an odd clump of scar tissue in my cheek."
– goodassjournalist
The Chugger
"Went to a party and chugged 6 Mike's Hard Lemonades and then threw up for several hours. Nobody else at the party was even a little drunk."
– AdamBombKelley
These people missed the mark when they were seeking to be cool.
The Rebel
"Got pulled over for playing my car stereo too loud. Took the ticket, turned it back up. Took another ticket, turned it back up. Took a third ticket, turned it back up. Spent the night in jail."
– anon
Hair Don't
"had my mullet cut off but left a rat tail, then had it braided."
– TrailerParkPrepper
Wet Disguise
"Spilled my drink to hide that I pissed my pants. Was too cool to say I needed a bathroom."
"EDIT: Before one more of you tell me that was actually smart, it was not: The problem was that it was November, we were outside drinking and smoking to hide from our parents. So when I did the quick thinking how to hide my wet pants I forgot that pee is warm.. and it was a cold night. So my pants were kind of.. steamy lol. I was 22 and a bit drunk 🤷♀️"
– SnicketyLemon875
Targeting The Teacher
"Not stupid just mean and regret it. Some of the popular kids were being my friend, or just pretending to be I don't know. I stole one of the nice teachers candy bars out of her cupboard. I didn't get caught, so I saw her take out the empty box, and look around the room disappointed. Felt like garbage."
– HooterEnthusiast
I was always the class clown in elementary school, and I loved making my classmates laugh.
One time, I tried pretending like I was walking into a closed-door classroom while intentionally not looking where I was going.
To make it look like my face slammed into the door, I planned to kick the door before my face actually hit it to simulate impact.
I misjudged the distance and my mouth slammed into the door.
My adult teeth that had just grown in didn't fall out, but they did get knocked out of alignment and my gums gushed blood.
Well, at least I still got the laughs I was seeking...at a painful cost.
What was your dumbest move to appear cool?
If Groucho was the witty Marx Brother, Harpo was without a doubt the wild one. His persona of the silent lunatic who runs around wreaking havoc is one of the most instantly recognizable characters in movie history. But just who was the man behind the character? The answer to that is much different than people realize.
1. He Had A Horrible Childhood
As a child, Harpo lived through a nightmare. Although his enormous family—including his brothers Groucho and Chico—were loving, they were also dirt poor in turn-of-the-century New York. Indeed, his domineering mother Minnie forced them to start scraping together pennies from almost the moment they could talk. The thing is, she did this in a VERY strange way.
2. His Mother Shoved Him Into Performing
While we now know that child stardom is a curse, Minnie Marx sure didn’t think so. She organized a singing quartet act with the rest of her sons...but they were missing their fourth singer. Desperate, Minnie recruited the young Harpo to come up on stage at the eleventh hour, pushing the shy boy into the spotlight. This went more horribly than anyone could have predicted.
3. He Had A Haunting Embarrassing Moment
File:Monkey Business lobby card 1931.JPG - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.orgWhen Harpo hit the stage that day, he immediately realized he had made a mortifying mistake. Still unused to performing, he was so nervous that, in front of his family and the entire crowd, he wet his pants in the middle of the performance. Unfortunately, Harpo soon discovered that this was only the beginning of his ordeals.
4. He Was Bullied Horribly
Harpo’s school life was somehow worse than his stage debut. When he was in the second grade, he faced relentless bullying due to his Jewish ethnicity—and things took a dangerous turn. According to Harpo, his tormentors loved throwing him out the window of their second-story classroom whenever their teacher left. This would have devastating consequences.
5. He Had A Second-Grade Education
When his classroom woes became more and more frequent, Harpo eventually had enough. After yet another time where his enemies threw him out the window, the young boy simply walked home rather than returning to class. In fact, he never returned, and Harpo had no formal education whatsoever past the second grade. Yeah, this wasn’t a good thing.
6. He Was A Mobster
After quitting school, Marx began a harrowing chapter in his life. He became a juvenile delinquent, roaming the streets of New York for hours a day, swiping whatever odds and ends he could get his hands on, and making both friends and enemies with members of various street gangs. He even played piano in a brothel during this time. But one way or another, destiny came for him.
7. The Marx Brothers Have A Strange Origin Story
Around this time, the Marx Brothers’ act started to evolve into what we know it as today—but few people know its strange origins. See, they never actually set out to be a comedy act. Their mother, Minnie, was still obsessed with making them a vaudeville singing group, and whenever the brothers started kidding around in the act, she chastised them and insisted that they stuck strictly to music.
Of course, this only helped create the prankish anarchy the comedy group became famous for...and they were about to become very, very famous.
8. He Had A Film First
File:Early marx brothers with parents.jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.orgIn the early 1910s, the Marx Brothers began developing their stage act in earnest, and this led to their first collaborative film, 1929’s The Cocoanuts, which starred the brothers Groucho, Harpo, Chico, and Zeppo Marx in all their glory and various stage names. Not only was The Cocoanuts a newfangled talkie, but it was also one of the first films to have an overhead perspective shot. But even then, something was missing.
9. He Was Eerily Silent
Early on, Harpo developed one distinguishing feature in the sibling act: He never talked. For the most part, his film career relied on sight gags, especially Harpo pulling extremely unlikely objects from his nearly ever-present overcoat. As we’ll see, there was a particular reason for his silence, but it sure worked. Within a few years, the Marx Brothers were the talk of Hollywood...and Harpo took full advantage.
10. He Was An Infamous Bachelor
With the Marx Brothers’ comedy routine taking off, Harpo became one of the most notorious bachelors in 1930s Hollywood. One story from this time is legendary: He ended up busting into a costume party at Marion Davies’ house, while the starlet was still the mistress of tycoon William Randolph Hearst. And before long, Harpo’s reputation went from naughty to infamous.
11. He Gate-Crashed A Star's Party
For whatever reason, when he got ready for the party Harpo decided to dress up as Kaiser Wilhelm II, the former German Emperor and one of the most hated villains of WWI. Somehow, though, Harpo outdid even the Kaiser. Apparently bereft of any real friends at the bash, Harpo had to hitchhike home, and after taking a wrong turn, the authorities detained him for vagrancy, breaking and entering, and supposedly even impersonating Kaiser Wilhelm.
Harpo was definitely acting out, but there was a disturbing reason for this.
12. He Had A Long-Lost Love
File:Harpo Marx 1948.jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.orgEven today, few people know that Harpo remained single for so long in Hollywood because of one incredibly heartbreaking and traumatic experience in his youth. Shortly after arriving in Tinseltown, Harpo started dating a woman he came to deeply care for, and he even planned on proposing to her. But before he could do anything, tragedy struck.
13. He Suffered An Unbelievable Tragedy
The very day before Harpo was going to ask for the woman’s hand, he received devastating news. His lover had lost her life in a plane crash, and he would never see her again. The loss affected him for years to come, keeping him at arm's length from any serious relationships for a good while after. But as for the not-so-serious ones, all bets were off.
14. He Used Women Shamelessly
Not even Harpo’s famous silence on screen could stop him from charming the skirts off of women. At one point, he was even dating fellow comedian Fanny Brice, the woman who inspired Funny Girl, “because he felt she would be entertaining, and he loved to be entertained.” Plus, you know, he didn’t want to think about his dead girlfriend. Yet like every Hollywood hotshot, Harpo had a wandering eye.
15. He Had A Fateful Dinner Party
One evening, Harpo was attending a classic Hollywood party at producer Samuel Goldwyn’s house, with Fanny Brice on his arm. Little did he know, his life was about to change. His other seatmate was the starlet Susan Fleming, a former saucy Ziegfield girl and a currently reluctant actress who hated making films. Fleming had her eye on Harpo—and more than that, she had a secret weapon.
16. He Had A Not-So-Secret Admirer
File:Susan Fleming sl931.jpg - Wikipediaen.wikipedia.orgIn an eerie turn of events, Susan Fleming shared the same last name as Harpo’s long lost love who had perished in a plane crash. This probably got her foot in the door with Harpo, but if it didn't her face certainly would; she was pale with dark hair, and absolutely stunning by any measurement. More than that, Fleming was absolutely obsessed with Harpo...and she wasn’t shy about showing it.
17. He Loved To Be Worshipped
Fleming felt she could see through Harpo’s somewhat joking demeanor and into his sensual interior. She recalled that from the moment she met him, she found Harpo "a warm, fun, darling man to talk to" and that she was fascinated with his persona and career.
Harpo, for his part, wasn’t going to say no to a face like Fleming’s, and he threw off Brice that very night to take up with the actress. In the blink of an eye, it went from casual to cringeworthy.
18. He Had A Clingy Girlfriend
Susan Fleming didn’t just have a crush on Harpo, she had a whole obsession. After all, Fleming had no use for her film career, and she spent the next four years chasing after Harpo with an intensity and single-mindedness that would probably make anyone take a step back, let alone a man still on the rebound from his corpse bride.
But even though Harpo could have no doubt of Fleming’s affections, she still made a shocking grand gesture.
19. He Rejected His Lover
Fleming was so certain Harpo Marx was the man for her, she was actually the one to propose to him, an action that polite society considered near unthinkable for a woman at the time. But she was in for a cruel surprise. Although Harpo still wanted to keep up his relationship with her, the wounded man turned Fleming down. Did this let-down stop her? Not at all. She just turned the dial up to 11.
20. His Girlfriend Pushed Him Down The Aisle
File:Susan Fleming CM333.jpg - Wikipediaen.m.wikipedia.orgWhen Harpo turned down Fleming’s offer of marriage the first time, the actress really proved her mettle...uh, if that’s what you want to call it. Undeterred, Fleming got down on one knee again some time later, and received yet another brutal rebuff. Finally, she asked him an incredible third time and, perhaps worn down at last, Harpo finally accepted. Only, Fleming may not have known what she was getting into.
21. He Had A Secret Wedding
Maybe Harpo was still a little uncertain about Fleming, because he married her in complete secret. Sure, this might have been because the pair were notoriously camera shy—except for just one glaring thing. Harpo didn’t even tell his brothers it was happening until after the fact. Ouch. And when the truth did come out, it was scandalous.
22. The President Ratted Him Out
As it happened, people found out about Harpo’s top-secret nuptials almost right after they happened, and they found out from a shocking source. None other than President Franklin Roosevelt heard about the event from a mutual friend, and inadvertently leaked the secret by publicly sending Marx a congratulatory telegram. What a dummy, right?
23. His Wife Was His Subordinate
The beginnings of Harpo’s marriage to Fleming seemed idyllic. She quit acting in films like she had wanted to all along, and they began raising a brood of adopted children. Then again, their dynamic would still make a lot of us squirm; Fleming was Harpo’s self-appointed “valet” during the union, basically acting as his assistant when they were at home or abroad. Ew.
24. He Was Actually Bald
File:Debbie Reynolds Auction - Harpo Marx signature historic ...commons.wikimedia.orgWhen you picture Harpo, you probably aren’t picturing the real Harpo. Few people know or remember it, but for most of his films with the Marx Brothers, Harpo was wearing a blonde or red wig. Meanwhile, underneath that wig, the comedian was actually entirely bald, a fact that helped him go undetected in public whenever he felt like it, because people never recognized him.
25. He Went On A High-Profile Mission
In 1933, Harpo’s old friend Franklin Roosevelt made him one of the first “goodwill ambassadors” to Soviet Russia. It was even more harrowing than it sounds. On his way to Moscow, he passed through Hamburg and witnessed the early stages of Nazi Germany, and ended up literally vomiting at the harsh realities he witnessed first-hand to his Jewish people. When he reached Stalin’s Russia, however, it nearly turned deadly.
26. Stalin Spied On Him
Ever suspicious, Stalin assigned a government spy to accompany Harpo at all times during his stay, monitoring all of his phone calls and mail and making sure he didn’t get out of line or carry any important information back to the United States with him for the President’s eyes. It sounds like paranoia, but the truth is the Soviets DID need to worry about Harpo.
27. He Was A Secret Agent
Harpo had one unsupervised moment in the Soviet Union: His visit to the American embassy. Behind its closed doors, Marx kept a huge secret. While there, a government official asked him to smuggle a document back to the States. Though he never found out what the document was, Marx taped the envelope to his leg and successfully brought it with him on his way out of the country.
Yes, you read that right. This silly Marx Brother was an actual secret agent who carried out a real-life international spy mission.
28. He Got A Big Dramatic Break
File:Fay Wray Argentinean Magazine AD.jpg - Wikipediaen.wikipedia.orgHarpo was a bit of a strange husband, but he wasn’t always a good friend, either. One year, one of his good friends, the screenwriter and playwright Alexander Woollcott, asked Harpo to star in his dramatic production Yellow Jacket alongside King Kong star Fay Wray. It should have been a golden opportunity, but Marx turned it into a betrayal.
29. He Was A Terrible Friend
When Harpo read Woollcott’s script, he simply didn’t understand the vision or emotional core that his friend was going for. Of course, Woollcott also refused to explain it to him. Perhaps a tad tetchy with his buddy, Harpo reacted by not taking the performance seriously at all, and instead turned it into a comedy bit, infuriating Woollcott and nearly ruining their friendship in the process.
30. He Could Out-Weird Anyone
Harpo was infamous for some eccentric habits during his single life, especially picking up semi-vagrant artists. He actually spent over a year living with piano virtuoso and severe insomniac Oscar Levant, one of old Hollywood’s most bizarre characters and least stable people, who you may know from the film An American in Paris. Yet, as always, Harpo managed to give Levant a run for his money.
See, when Levant showed up on Harpo’s doorstep and never left, Harpo simply...accepted it. The comedian befriended the troubled musician until Levant finally left on a whim 13 months later. But when it comes to Harpo’s neighborly antics, that’s the least of them.
31. He Lived Next To A Famous Composer
For a long time, Marx lived next to the legendary classical composer Sergei Rachmaninoff. His reaction to this was surprising. As a fellow music lover, you’d think that Harpo would feel lucky to get to listen to Rachmaninoff hone his craft, but nope. Rather than just be happy, Harpo got annoyed at the noise day in and day out...so he came up with a perfect revenge.
32. He Drove A Genius Mad
File:Sergei Rachmaninoff LOC 33969u.jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.orgIn classic Harpo fashion, Marx took this as an opportunity for an epic prank worthy of one of his films. He began repeatedly blasting one of Rachmaninoff's own compositions out the window as loud as he possibly could. Best of all, it worked. It got to the point where the poor composer could no longer stand it, and he moved to a new house just to get away from the comedian. Mission accomplished.
33. He Finally Spoke
Marx spent his entire career going to great lengths to never speak in public. But one night, all that changed. It was the evening he publicly announced his retirement during a 1963 live show. When the audience learned they were witnessing a legend’s final appearance, the entire mood of the room altered. Then, for the first time in his adult life, Harpo agreed to give a public speech...but, uh, maybe he shouldn’t have.
34. He Gave An Awkward Goodbye
In the end, Harpo spent several minutes reflecting on his career and his feelings about moving on, while the stunned crowd took in every word. The host Allan Sherman reportedly burst into tears when Marx confirmed that he truly was calling it quits, but Harpo didn’t stop there, interrupting Sherman when he tried to speak and generally just yammering on a bit.
As comedian Steve Allen joked about the speech: “Harpo wouldn’t shut up!” But hey, he earned it.
35. He Made A Famous Face
One of Harpo’s most famous comedic faces was something called “The Gookie,” and its backstory is perfectly “Harpo.” The face came about from his habit of imitating the mannerisms of a cigar store clerk from his childhood named Gookie. As Harpo remembered, when Gookie started rolling cigars, he got “so absorbed that he had no idea what a comic face he was making. His tongue lolled out in a fat roll, his cheeks puffed out and his eyes popped out and crossed themselves.”
Harpo would do an impression of this face on a regular basis as a youngster, just to get under the poor guy’s skin. Later, he incorporated it into every one of his screen performances.
36. He Launched A Mega Star
File:Marilyn Monroe photo pose Seven Year Itch.jpg - Wikipediaen.wikipedia.orgWhen the Marx Brothers made their final film, Love Happy, they ended up despising the result and almost never talked about it afterward. Predictably, it was a flop, but this very last film has a very big claim to fame. It launched the career of the one and only Marilyn Monroe. The then-unknown starlet had a brief cameo in the film, her first big on-screen appearance. The rest, as they say, is history.
37. He Clashed With Authority
Harpo was always a troublemaker. When theater tycoon E.F. Albee hired the Marx Brothers, he expected them to bow down to him and be loyal. Harpo’s response made the man’s blood boil. Stirring the pot, the comedian "innocently" appeared in a friend’s show at a small rival theater, and when Albee found out he dragged Harpo into his office so he could stare him down and intimidate him.
38. He Froze Looking At A Woman's Body
In his later life, Marx took up painting and became surprisingly good at it. Still, he did get one super awkward anecdote out of the process. Like many an amateur artist before him, Marx started learning how to draw by hiring a body model. But the moment the beautiful woman took her clothes off, Harpo froze and couldn’t continue. Which is exactly when the situation took a strange turn.
39. A Model Taught Him To Paint
As it happened, the woman Harpo had hired was actually something of an accomplished artist herself, not to mention cool as a cucumber on top of that. So when she saw Harpo’s distress, she actually got up and gave him a lesson about where to begin, calming his nerves in the process. Obviously, it ended up working out for both of them. I hope Harpo tipped well.
40. He Had Another Talent
File:Harpo Marx playing the harp (cropped).jpeg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.orgHarpo might be famous as a comedian, but he had another big talent: Playing the harp. Only, because this is Harpo Marx, he had to do even this with a twist. He only took up playing the instrument on a whim, and began learning to hold and play it by copying what an angel was doing in a picture he got from a corner store. Yes, this was the completely wrong way to do it, but that wasn’t all that Harpo got wrong.
41. He Messed Up Big Time
Harpo didn’t know anyone who could play the harp, so he had to learn everything by himself, top to bottom, including tuning it. Three years later, he discovered that he’d actually tuned it wrong, and had done practically every else wrong, too. He did try to correct this and eventually took professional lessons, but his instructors would often simply marvel at his unorthodox yet brilliant technique rather than teaching him.
42. Harpo Isn't His Real Name
Harpo’s real name, as many people could have guessed, wasn’t actually Harpo—it was Adolph. For reasons (surprisingly) having nothing to do with WWII, Marx actually changed it from Adolph to “Arthur” as a young adult, which obviously ended up being a good call once Hitler actually did come to power. But how exactly did he get the name “Harpo”?
43. Even His Nickname Has A Backstory
The simplest explanation is often the right one, and the same is true for Harpo and his nickname. Although some of the details are a little fuzzy, he almost certainly got the moniker at a card game from his friend Art Fisher, who referred to him as “Harpo” because...he played the harp. For what it’s worth, Fisher also gave all the Marx Brothers their stage names, minus “Zeppo.”
44. He Cheated His Music Teacher
File:Harpo and Chico Marx General Electric Theater 1959.JPG ...commons.wikimedia.orgBack when he could only dream of someday learning the harp, Harpo's family had a piano, but they could only afford lessons for one child. Somewhat insultingly, they chose Chico, not Harpo, for this privilege. But Harpo didn’t let that stop him. Practically everything Harpo learned about music, he got from secretly listening in on his brother’s piano lessons. Naughty boy.
45. He Was Obsessed With One Game
Marx became obsessed with croquet—to the point where he couldn’t live without the summer game, even in the winter. In one of his most ridiculous real-life antics, Marx bribed the landlords of a Manhattan parking garage to let him turn their roof into a makeshift croquet field. They initially obliged, but then quickly found out they had made an enormous error…
46. He Snubbed A Very Important Man
Marx and his crew placed such a high priority on their croquet hobby that they once intentionally kept New York Governor and future Presidential candidate Al Smith waiting on the phone for a whopping 20 minutes, just so that they could watch as one of the club’s members attempted a difficult shot. To the landlords’ relief, the fire department promptly put an end to the croquet arrangement as soon as they found out about it.
47. He Had A Fatal Flaw
Being the silent guy in the act can be fun, but Harpo once got cheated out of a huge deal. Because his character did not speak, NBC snubbed Harpo when they gave the Marx Brothers their own radio sitcom in 1932. In the midst of the Great Depression, Groucho and Chico each got paid more than $3,000 a week for just half an hour’s work, all while poor old Harpo could not participate.
48. He Created A Popular Expression
File:WilliamRandolphHearst.jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.orgIf you’ve ever used the expression “in the hot seat,” you might be surprised to learn that Harpo Marx originally coined it. During his social escapades, he attended parties at the famous mansion of William Randolph Hearst and noticed that whenever someone became less welcome, Hearst would seat them at the far end of the table near the fireplace. Being seated in the “hot seat” usually meant that you would soon stop receiving invitations.
49. He Almost Played A Whole Different Character
Today, it's extremely hard to associate Harpo Marx with anything other than his silent, clown-like, curly-haired character—but this almost wasn’t the case. Initially, the brothers had considered having Harpo’s character be a stereotypical, freckled Irishman named Patsy Brannigan, accent and all. I think most of us are pretty happy they didn’t stick with this idea.
50. He Had A Weird Obsession
Harpo was a strange man, and he had one weird quirk that he often took to extremes: An obsession with black jelly beans. Ever since his impoverished childhood, the candy had been a symbol of success in his mind, and as an adult he once purchased 30 dollars’ worth of jelly beans to snack on at the movies. Only, his grand excess didn't exactly go as planned.
The bag exploded and caused a huge mess for the theater staff—not to mention a fair amount of confusion.
51. You Can Hear What He Really Sounded Like
Although no known recordings exist of Marx speaking in public, it is actually possible for people today to hear what he sounded like. Someone found a copy of a home voice recording the comedian made while working on his autobiography where he recalls some of the crazy experiences of his youth. The recording confirms some surprising things.
First, Harpo sounds a lot like his brother Groucho; and second, he has a thick New York accent.
52. He Could Switch Gears
File:Harpo Marx Silent Panic DuPont Show 1960.JPG - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.orgDespite spending his whole life as a comedian, Marx eventually got the chance to play a serious dramatic role. In a 1960 Christmas-themed television play called A Silent Panic, he portrayed a deaf-mute character who inadvertently witnesses a murder and struggles to decide how to react. The performance is available on YouTube, and is actually pretty darn impressive.
53. He Made One Sound On Film
Although he never had a spoken line in a Marx Brothers film, some believe Harpo did once let his voice slip in one of them. In 1939’s At The Circus, Harpo’s character releases an exaggerated sneeze by shouting “Ah-choo!” in a clear voice, though he could have been mouthing someone else’s voice. Even so, there is another instance people cling to.
54. He "Talked" On A Technicality
Sure, he never talked in his performances, but Harpo did actually have a line in a movie early on in his career—there’s just one problem. It was a silent movie, so the clip doesn’t get us any closer to hearing what he sounded like in a professional capacity. The clip consists of the silent Marx Brother soundlessly mouthing the words, “You sure you can’t move?”
55. His Marriage Miraculously Lasted
Despite being a Hollywood marriage, Marx and Susan Fleming shared a long, happy life together. More than that, he and Fleming adored raising their large family. Harpo once quipped that when it came to children, he wanted, "So many that whenever we go out, there can be one in every window, waving to us." So when Harpo did finally pass, he went out in an incredibly fitting way.
56. He Had Impeccable Timing
Fájl:Marx Brothers 1948.jpg – Wikipédiahu.m.wikipedia.orgOn September 28, 1964, Harpo passed at the ripe old age of 75, leaving behind his wife Susan Fleming, his four children, and his beloved Marx Brothers. However, there was something special about this day. Always good with timing, comedic or otherwise, Harpo actually died on the very day of his 28th wedding anniversary with Fleming, which must have been a bittersweet event for the widow. But when his funeral came around, it was a full-on tearjerker.
57. He Ruined His Brother
As one of the elder Marx brothers, Harpo was also one of the first of his siblings to go, and the news particularly devastated his brother Groucho. Later on, Groucho’s son Arthur Marx recalled that Harpo’s funeral was one of the first and only times he had ever seen his father cry. Then again, that was good old Harpo; he’d make you laugh until you cried.
58. He Didn't Talk For A Reason
Harpo is best-known as the Marx Brother who never talks, but few people know the reason why. According to some, it’s because when they were first starting out in Vaudeville, the brothers had a stomach-dropping realization: Harpo had intense difficulty memorizing lines. Rather than trying to fix this shortcoming, they decided to simply make his character mute and have his comedy focus on pantomime. However, there may be a much different explanation.
59. He Was Insecure
Another story suggests that Harpo may have lapsed into silence in his film career not so much out of a canny choice, but rather because of a scathing review that he took to heart. After seeing him in one performance playing his usual foolish character, one critic noted that Harpo only achieved the effect he was going for “until he spoke.” The comedian fell silent from then on.
One bad decision can have detrimental consequences.
Sometimes, we might be oblivious to the cataclysmic decision we made.
Other times, however, we know we may have done something against our better judgment, but don't think it will matter in the grand scheme of things.
Only to realize we were wrong much too late.
The only thing that can rival experiencing your life being ruined in the blink of an eye, is witnessing others do so, and being absolutely helpless in the situation.
"What is the fastest way you have seen someone ruin their life?"
Honesty Is ALWAYS The Best Policy
"I'm a lawyer."
"Another well respected lawyer in my jurisdiction was involved in an absolutely huge property settlement involving dozens upon dozens of deeds, side agreements, financial documents, yada yada yada."
"The whole lot (presumably involving literally a hundred or so signatures) had been signed off by her client."
"In the early hours of the morning - having no doubt slaved away for untold hours getting everything ready for the settlement the next day - she must have realized that she had missed getting one signature on one minor document from her client so she faked it."
"I can see the pressure she was under and how she probably thought 'it doesn't matter, my client would have signed it anyway and only didn't because they overlooked it, no one will ever notice'."
"Someone noticed and she went from high paid property lawyer to never being able to practice again, just like that."
"People occasionally ask me to sign things off, as a lawyer, and suggest I overlook minor irregularities such as wanting me to witness a signature even though I didn't actually see the signatory sign."
"Then they get all offended and act like I'm being a stick-up-the-a** perfectionist when I won't do it."- princhester
Wear A Helmet.
"A close friend of my best friend grabbed his eight-year-old son's new skateboard and took off down a hill in Georgia."
"Hit a rock, landed on his head and had permanent brain damage."
"He lived years before he mercifully died."
"Had to be restrained the whole time because the damage made him erratic and violent."
"Wear a helmet!"- Figgywithit
Big Money...
"Watched a guy gamble $30k away in a night and then cried about losing his life savings and security had to get involved and escort him out because he started to get angry at the dealers because all they could offer him was free night stays at the hotel for playing so much but he wanted freeplay at the tables/slots and they refused."- jadenwydbro
Revenge Is Seldom, If Ever, Worth It
"I had a friend that had a promising career got upset and went into full road rage for a woman who forgot to turn her blinker on and he slightly bumped her back bumper on the freeway causing her to lose control and flipping over and killing the driver and her two daughters."
"Oddly..it was all caught on his car dash cam and a trucker with his own dash cam that was behind him."
"He is now doing 40+ years in prison."- vargo911
Luck Has A Way Of Running Out
"Watched a buddy spend his entire life savings betting on the Paulo Costa Vs Adesanya."
"I begged him not to do it and he lost his and his wife’s entire 60k nest egg."
"She left him immediately with the kids and now he lives at his moms house."
"He had been betting on prize fighting for a short while and winning."
"Nothing outrageous and heck I even bet with him on a time or two because it was smaller bets 1-200."
"He had been winning probably made a few grand not sure how much but he was always saying he won and showing off his bets."
"So I can confirm he had been winning and his luck was pretty impressive."
"As far as I know he doesn’t gamble anymore and is just trying to rebuild his life."
"He lost his wife but does spend a lot time with the kids."- Cmsmks
What A Way To Begin...
"Arrive at work on their first day as a temp at around 10am, caught stealing the bosses wallet at 12:30, taken away by Police at 1pm." - Reddit
Look To The Skies...
"Saw a pilot without instrument rating take off into IMC conditions (instrument-meteorological conditions is a flight category that describes weather conditions that require pilots to fly primarily by instruments rather than use visual cues to maintain controlled flight)."
"He had his whole family on board."
"Weather was closing in."
"He agreed that it was impossible to get home, but wanted to make it to a larger municipal airport so they wouldn't have to stay in a motel."
"The fuel attendant and a bunch of old veteran pilots hanging around the airport office all said they'd drive him to a nicer place, but he thought he'd have a better chance of getting out the next day from the other airport."
"Conditions weren't that bad when he took off, but we all agreed later that no one without instrument rating would/should have flown that day."
"So the last time anyone saw that whole family (pilot, wife, two adult sons) alive was all of us watching him take off and fly just under the cloud base to do a 'scud run' in the direction of the nearest muni."
"They crashed in full overcast ten miles out."
"No survivors."
"All told, it probably took fifteen minutes for this guy to make the worst- and last- decision of his life."
"This was over 30 years ago, but it's haunted me ever since- what could/should I have done differently that might have convinced him to not fly?"
"I was a newbie pilot at the time, but even I knew it was a bad idea."
"There were at least three other pilots there that day."
"Did he feel ganged up on?"
"Could we have appointed the most grizzled straight-shootin gravel-voiced veteran to take the guy aside and give him a 'I'm not your dad, but' talk?"
"Should we have tackled him and taken away his keys?"
"Called the cops?"
"What would we even have told them?"
"I've long since come to terms with it, but there are still the occasional moments where I feel like I failed."- gaspronomib
We've all done things against our better judgment.
Sometimes, however, it's essential to really think about the consequences of doing so before proceeding.
As one bad decision might be all it takes.