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People Divulge The Worst Thing They've Heard Someone Say About The Deceased At Their Funeral

I've often thought that I may one day fake my death, just to see who would show up at my funeral, and just to see what they would say.

We all know that the true tea is spilled after one has stopped breathing. So many of us play a good game of nice when we're all in corporeal form, but once that heart ceases to beat, honey those knives are coming out.

I have been to funerals that could rival episodes of 'Dynasty.' The things we say at a funeral can only possibly be topped by truths we tell at a wedding. And it's all a mess.

Redditoru/harumin24wanted to hear about the tea that is spilled when saying farewell to the dead by asking:

What's the worst thing you've heard someone say about the deceased at their funeral?

I remember the first funeral I went to where people didn't hold back. And I was shook. I mean I get it, you hated that person, by why bother sharing the craziness now? You should've just punched them in the face when you had a chance.

Lies!

i see you no GIF by Shalita GrantGiphy

"Everyone stood up and spoke about how much they missed him and what a great man, friend, and leader he had been. His daughter stood up to speak last and said: "I don't know who you people are talking about because my father was nothing like that to me my whole life."

- Caliblair

Why bother?

"There was no funeral for him. His sisters wanted one in the "it's the right thing to do" sort of way, but the rest of the family (his mother included) were in camp "why bother?"

"A lot was said, as this was the man who had abused my grandparents for drug money for years, stole from family members (including the birthday money of small children - I taught the younger cousins how to hide their holiday cash from him), faked cancer on multiple occasions to gain sympathy (and more money), and broke down my grandma's front door when she didn't want to deal with him while my grandpa was dying in their house."

"There were two that stand out:"

"Oh, he actually did die of cancer? About time."

"And the real ice cold one, from his mother:"

"It's for the best."

- dal_segno

Good Riddance

"When my grandmothers brother-in-law passed away my grandmother asked me to be a pall bearer since they were having a hard time finding anyone that would agree to do it. During the funeral nobody other than family showed up and when the minister asked if anyone wanted to say anything about the deceased there were several people that shouted out things like 'good riddance.' He had been a man that was widely hated by the community as well as his family. He spent his entire life swindling anyone, including members of his own family, out of everything that he could."

- stagehog81

John Doe

"I have an 1910 local newspaper obituary for my grandfathers brother (my great uncle), who died when my grandfather was 12. It reads.... "JOHN DOE died walking on Goose Gap Road with friends Saturday night when he fell on a knife. He was well-known as a wicked and godless boy, who brought shame to his family, but his parents are good, faithful church-going people and our sympathies are with them."

- Reddit

Oh My!

Fanning Heat Wave GIF by Harlem GlobetrottersGiphy

"My very Christian grandmother who is in the beginning stages of dementia talked about how great my grandfather was in bed at his funeral. It was actually kind of sweet, but the timing wasn't great and I don't know how much her children wanted to hear about it right then."

- Reddit

Oh my... now that is a ton of mess. It makes you think, what are my so called "loved ones" thinking about me right now? I always have some shade to throw, but I like to see live reactions of the landings.

Not You

Oh God Reaction GIFGiphy

"After Grandma's service we were discussing where to go for lunch when Gramps tells cousin (10) You stay here with the stiff, we'll pick you up later."

- sisnomor

What the hell Brian?!?

"My friend's father passed away a few years ago and a buddy of ours shows up out of the blue. We haven't seen this guy in a long time. We would send him texts, call him, send Facebook messages but he never responds. So anyway he shows up at the funeral and our friend says, "What the hell Brian?!? My father has to die for you to hang out!?!?"

-bjh182

911 Dispatchers Share The Most Ridiculous Calls They've Ever Received | George Takei’s Oh Myyy

The Mistress

"My biological father's long-time mistress spent her time during the eulogy talking about:

  • All the profound emotions she felt when they were making love, and how she knew from that he was the one (Her children, from a man she divorced to be with my father, were sitting right in front of her.)
  • While on his deathbed, he woke up one of his last times and used his time to scold her "bitterly" for reading a magazine while he lay dying. She considered it a lighthearted and endearing moment.
  • While recounting his legacy she got almost every single detail of his professional life wrong, and pointed me out as hopefully walking in my fathers steps (knowing I hated him)."

"The only other person to talk was the priest. My father was narcissistic, a psychopath, and a bad person in ways that aren't mentioned in pleasant conversation. All he cared about in life was power and glory at any and everyone else's expense, and he was buried at the funniest and most undignified funeral I have ever seen. It was almost therapeutic, 10/10."

- xenomorphs_at_disney

"A great friend of mine died a couple years ago. He was known for his amazing sense of humor and the sound of his laugh. When his wife asked me to speak at his funeral, I started thinking about how--if he were alive and we were going to someone else's funeral, he'd figure out how to have fun."

"So I played a game and opened it up to his friends, challenging them to give me a word I had to work into the eulogy. In the end I came up with the word myself; as soon as I thought of it, I knew he would have used it. The word was "ejaculation." I won the challenge."

- Rilkespawn

God Who?

jesus GIFGiphy

"During his sermon at the funeral, the preacher said that he "thought it odd that the deceased insisted on having a church funeral, given that records and personal testimony indicated that he had never stepped foot in church during his lifetime."

- Back2Bach

Burn

"Complaining about the length of the service he said, "f**k me, 2 hrs to bury a set of teeth because that's all that was left after the fire. I was embarrassed but so did I. He was an ex SAS trooper so tended towards plain speaking. Ironically the deceased was not a friend of mine (he didn't know) so I'd been very careful not to say anything negative."

- crosstherubicon

"Bill was a very flawed man..."

"At my Father's wake 20 years ago the man married to my Godmother gave a speech. He started with "Bill was a very flawed man..." and went on to badmouth my Dad for 5 minutes. This from the smarmy alcoholic a**hat that hit on me at a bar 2 years later and was universally regarded as a fool."

"We are ALL flawed, but my Dad was one of the greatest men and best Fathers I have ever met (aside from my husband). The funeral was standing room only and full of people whose lives were touched by my Dad's kindness and ability to make people laugh. I wanted to punch my Godmother's husband in his face that day."

- horribliadorable

Bad Timeline

Sorry Not Sorry School GIFGiphy

"At my Grandma's funeral, I admitted to a cousin that I often forgot she was still alive. I had started referring to her in the past tense years before."

- weeeeelaaaaaah

He was Ours!

"Well, being dead doesn't make him any less of an a**hole." It was said by me, about a good friend, and it was met with a lot of laughter because we all knew it was true. He was our a**hole if you know what I mean."

- Booji-Boy

"I feel thats what my friends are going to say about me , and I'm proud to be their a**hole. After all , one of them said , you are friends with us because we are the only ones to put up with your bullcrap and dark humour :P"

- Vitaly17

Hey Michael

"Ooh, the boss gave a very Michael Scott-like eulogy. First, he asked for moment of silence, then talked through it. But the cringiest moment was saying how much the deceased cared for his ex-wife and daughter. "I see how much child support comes out of every one of his paychecks, and he never complained about that."

- Scrappy_Larue

You do this for a living?

priest GIFGiphy

"Went to a funeral where the catholic priest got the deceased name wrong, the dead guy's SIL's name wrong, and then told everyone refreshments were available at the back of the church, they weren't."

- Catalystic_mind

Heaven's Mess

"We can always hope our understanding of heaven is wrong", priest, speaking about a deceased friend who was an atheist but his parents insisted on a church funeral. He said it repeatedly and in different ways, implying that it was a shame he was going to burn in hell."

- DrunkenGolfer

Gimme my Money!!

"He still owed me $14."

- SteppeTalus

"I said that about my buddy that passed away. He owed me like $5 and I was joking to my friend that it's just like him to die on me so he didn't have to pay it back. Fast forward a couple days and I find random piles of change all adding to about $5. It's funny because that's exactly how he woulda paid me back."

- decapitatedwalrus

It's Obvious!

"Not me, but my father went to the funeral of a man he knew while growing up. The preacher said he could tell by looking down on the deceased in the casket that he had went to hell. Then proceeded to preach a sermon about how it was necessary to live a morally upright life so that the people present didn't go to hell like the deceased man had."

- twoliterlopez

Greedy

Halloween GIF by Pop-TartsGiphy

"The officiant at my boyfriend's grandmother's funeral just a few months ago said that the deceased was good at getting free desserts from wait staff, which the family interpreted as him saying she was greedy and conniving."

- lovelylayout

Funerals really are a hotbed of drama and hilarity. That is when everyone has nothing craps left to give. And it shows us, all people are not good and need to go. Just truth!

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How People Would React If They Randomly Saw Their Ex On The Street

Reddit user rageondad asked: 'You see your first ex on the street, what do you do?'

People on a busy street
Photo by Jason Wong on Unsplash

We all find ourselves having an unexpected run-in with someone we know on the street every now and then.

In some cases, it's a pleasant surprise and plans are immediately made to catch up.

In other cases, you dig out the first excuse you can to keep on moving, as this particular individual was not someone you hoped would re-enter your life.

Then, of course, there are the times you run into an ex.

Whether you ended things amicably or acrimoniously, it's always going to be an awkward encounter.

Just how awkward it will be, however, depends on your reaction.

Redditor rageondad was curious to hear how people would react if they unexpectedly saw their ex on the street, leading them to ask:

"You see your first ex on the street, what do you do?"

Nothing But Happy Memories...

"1st ex: say hi, nice conversation."

"All good."

"2nd ex: hide from her again, like I did that one time at the gas station."- jfg1435

Who?

"Ignore him because he’s not worth saying hi to."

"And I wouldn’t care about him at all."- Big-Elevator2491

One Way To Handle It...

"Start taking a sh*t on the side walk immediately."- ceiling_fanzz

Excuse Me What GIF by BounceGiphy

No Harm, No Foul

"Say hi."- hot-breadfruit_poop

"And ask how they are doing."

"I'm a curious creature, what can I say?"- Lamacorn

Nothing But Excitement

"Give each other a huge hug."

"We're going to see each other next week for the first time in 25 years."

"It'll be good."

"We've remained friends this whole time, so we're both looking forward to it."- riceme0112358

"Say hi, give him a hug, ask him what he's doing in town."- m00nf1r3

Couple Love GIF by PantayaGiphy

Ouch!

"Didn't you die?" -Reddit

"Wonder who dug her up."- 8urfiat

"Walk On By..."

"Just keep walking."- MythicalMicrowave

Walking By Moe Szyslak GIF by Football AustraliaGiphy

Even If It Means J-Walking

"Cross the street."- no_days_grace

Avoiding Your Ex In Five D's...

"Dodge, dip, duck, dive, and dodge."- catinatank·

The Passage Of Time

"I would wish her well if I recognized her."

"It’s been over 20 years since I’ve seen her."

"It’s not like we parted on bad terms or anything."- Fangsong_37

Lana Parrilla GIF by Paramount+Giphy

Go For The Jugular

"You've sure gotten old."- drpepper1992

About Face

"Run."- saus_blu

Remain Amicable

"Have a chat."

"We are still friends."- Mentalfloss1

Meg Ryan Comedy GIF by Coolidge Corner TheatreGiphy

Of course, the worst element of surprise is having no idea how we might react.

Try as we might to plan just what we'd do should we ever run into an ex, we can't possibly know what will actually happen should that moment arrive.

Though, hopefully it won't ever lead to defecating on the street.


A happy woman
Joel Mott/Unsplash

When you're not particularly having a good day, the smallest compliment goes a long way.

All it takes is for someone to acknowledge your new hairstyle or say something nice about your outfit for the day that can be the biggest mood booster.

It doesn't have to be a big overture or a dramatic declaration, but it's nice to be noticed, isn't it?

Curious to hear examples of how someone made their day, Redditor Bacibaby asked:

"What is a compliment you will remember till you die?"

Some people are affable but aren't aware of how much they're appreciated for it.

A Bright Light In The World

"Someone once told me: 'It's so easy introducing you to people, you make everyone feel like you're their best friend."'

"Have held onto that for over ten years, still helps to remember when I'm not at my best."

– DashFromtheGash

Genuinely Popular

"I feel this. Last year I ran into some people I graduated high school with. A few of them were super popular during that time. One of them said 'Dude, everyone loved you in high school. I don't think there was anyone else that was able to be such good friends with so many different people and be in so many different cliques.' "

"It felt like such a genuine statement. They didn't have to say that. I've thought about it almost every day since because, to my recollection, high school was rough on me."

– sonofab*tchXmustXpay

Highly Respected

"Jeez, years ago I was at a party sometime after I graduated high school. There was a kid there who I had had a few classes with throughout the years and I always spoke to him casually like I would with anyone, but we weren't close friends or anything. He had clearly been drinking a bit because he was pretty animated and talkative and this kid usually kept to himself. Quiet is an understatement."

"He approached me and said 'Toh, I have never told you this, but I have always thought highly of you. Back in middle school there were kids making fun of the janitor and you told them all off. You told them he was working hard and there is nothing funny or to be looked down upon about taking pride in your work, no matter what you do.'"

"It almost made me tear up. I had no recollection of this moment he was talking about, but I knew I must have done it because my words in that memory of his were my father's. My parents both always hammered it into me to be a person of dignity, integrity and character. Middle school was a really tough time for me. I was bullied relentlessly. Knowing that there was someone out there who admired me during that time healed a part of little me."

– TopangaTohToh

It may be vain but getting noticed in the looks department is not such a bad thing.

Women Loving Other Women

"I was in my early 20s and I went out on the town with some girlfriends. I wore an outfit that was way out of my comfort zone. It was a black short skirt (I always wear pants) that flared out with a matching top. It showed a bit of midriff and I was self conscious."

"Before we even got into the bar, we ran into a couple of girls we didn’t know outside. I remember the one girl did a double take and just started freaking out. She went on and on and told me how gorgeous I looked and how amazing my outfit was. She had obviously been drinking, but it didn’t matter. She changed my whole night around and I suddenly felt like the hottest girl on the planet. I still remember her voice when I’m trying to pump myself up in the morning."

"I love women who love women."

– littlepinch7

Being Noticed

"Nothing feels better than when a pretty/well-dressed woman compliments you or your outfit 🥲 Every single time a gorgeous girl has called me 'pretty' or complimented me lives rent-free in my head."

– tigerribs

Train Station Affirmation

"After a concert I was on my way home with the train. I also wore an outfit out of my comfort zone, but I challenged myself. At the train station I walked passed to girl(who was drunk) and one said to the other 'omg did you se how beautiful she was?!' There was only me and them. She made my day."

– MinellaRibert

Noticed By An Older Generation

"A lovely elderly lady stopped mid sentence to say 'you have got the kindest eyes.' "

– F'kMe-F'kYou

"Old ladies are the best."

– OP

"Their honesty is only matched by that of a small child."

"In between those, things get kinda weird."

– F'kMe-F'kYou

Things get a little surprising.

In The Heat Of The Moment

"When I was like 19 I had an ex who had a history of abuse. We were arguing about something (I can't remember what about) but we were both shouting at each other. Then suddenly she broke down crying and started hugging me."

"Very confused I let the moment pass until she could speak and the compliment she paid me was 'Even when you're angry at me, I'm not scared of you.' "

– KingDebone

Owning The Big Legs

"I'm tall, heavy, and plain, and have been lucky enough to avoid getting catcalled for most of my life. But one time when I was in my 20s, biking to work in DC, this little old man on a street corner did a double take as I went by, pounding away at the pedals. 'Mighty big leeeeeeeeggggs!' he hollered, whether in appreciation or astonishment I couldn't tell."

"Now whether I'm struggling to get the bike up a hill, or just feeling down on my body, I'll say to myself 'mighty big leeeeeeeeggggs!' and feel that little extra boost. They are mighty big legs, and I am grateful both to and for them!"

– ReadTheIron

Father Knows Best

"I don't know if it counts but my dad once said 'i don't say it enough, but i'm really proud of you'."

"Which was the only time he ever said it, but it meant a lot."

– justregularoleme

The next time you internally think someone you know is looking particularly good on any given day or demonstrated something you were impressed by, you should tell them how you feel.

We often have these inner monologues that we casually dismiss because we can't be bothered, which is silly because it doesn't take much effort to verbalize them.

If it's positive, we should give voice to our thoughts.

Who knows? A compliment that you think is nothing can really brighten a person's day when they're otherwise feeling very glum, and you'd be responsible for making them feel extra special and seen.​

A couple with their backs to the camera sits on a bench looking out thinking
Photo by Charlie Foster

Breaking up is hard to do.

In fact, it's one of life's hardest things.

It sucks when love is over.

But the story is always interesting.

And there is always more than one side to the tale.

When couples retell the fall of their fairytale there is always different aspects and details mentioned.

Everyone has their own view.

And it's always best to hear both.

Or is it?

Redditor U_PassButter wanted to hear several sides of a break-up story, so they asked:

"Let your Ex tell the story; why did your relationship end?"

I don't want to know what embellishments my exes would say.

I was perfect.

Just Stop

Cardi B Applause GIF by Recording Academy / GRAMMYsGiphy

"He needs to stop being so possessive and controlling. If I wanna f**k my coworker after a shift and take him back to the house and have you catch us. I fully expect you to be okay with all of it."

Initial-Attorney-578

The Privilege

“Well, the real problem was that that a**hole, aknightwhosaysnope, didn’t trust me. If he had trusted me, he never would have looked at my phone and uncovered the affair I’ve been having with one of his best friends, and I could continue to f**k that dude while allowing aknightwhosaysnope the privilege of paying my bills. What a d**k.”

aknightwhosaysnope

In April

“'I changed my phone password because I felt like it. If you need to use it I’ll open it for you.'”

"Cut to April she’s living in NY with her new boyfriend and I’m being served divorce papers. They had been dating for 6 months while we were married."

"The pandemic definitely changed some people, some for the better, but not all."

PissyMillennial

On a Saturday...

"I deliberately picked a fight just like I do every Saturday, to force him to apologize and treat me like a princess for the rest of the weekend. But this time, when I suggested that he didn't love me and we should just break up, he actually had the nerve to agree! I couldn't believe it - that line had always worked in the past to at least get roses and a gift."

"He's such an a**hole - I even refused to leave for a while, giving him the chance to apologize to me and take it back, but he was so stubborn and just flat-out refused!"

"Even when I kept calling his phone over and over from my car, insisting that we spend one last night together, he wouldn't let me back inside his place. I still can't believe that. He owed it to me to at least hold me one more time. I even told him that, and he was still a stubborn jacka** about it."

The_Law_of_Pizza

Why can't people just go to therapy?

Find yourself in trouble.

That's where you're heading.

Not Loyal

Its Over GIFGiphy

"It was long distance, I avoided all girls as she said, stayed loyal, yet one day I felt she was down, asked what's worrying you? She told me she kissed her BFF and cheated on me, a day later she ended it."

lunar_pilot

Try

"I didn't try hard enough because I couldn't handle the pressure and stress of raising 4 children all under 9 years old, a full-time job, a part-time job, all household maintenance and upkeep, and an alcoholic partner who contributed nothing to the family or the household and drank his entire paycheck every week."

Feral_Attitude

Nothing Happened

"For some reason, he didn't like that I was cuddling with my best friend on the couch. He got it into his head that I was cheating on him (or close to doing it) and decided to end the relationship. Nothing ever happened with my friend, nor did I want it to. The fact that I immediately moved with him to another country was just a coincidence."

Tiny-Device-1127

10 Years Later

"My ex (34 F) after our ten-year marriage ended: 'He was a lovely partner, most of the time. But, his depression got a hold and he just quit enjoying anything at all, including time with me. He hated himself. I couldn't put myself through it anymore'...

"Thankfully, I've (34 M) done a ton of work and found a sense of peace, and I finally love myself. It's been a couple of years now, so, the hurt has (mostly) worn off. We have to co-parent anyway, but, I've found a new friend in my ex. She really did always care about me, even if we struggled to communicate this to each other, while we were together."

nickatnite511

Sins

New Girl Facepalm GIF by HULUGiphy

"Apparently being committed to one person while dating is obsessive and to care about them even a little bit after the fact is an unforgivable sin."

TooYoungToBeThisOld1

Dating will be the death of everyone.

And apparently, so will love.

fan of 100 U.S. dollar banknotes

Alexander Mils on Unsplash

They say money can't buy happiness, but it seems it can make a lot of other people miserable.

Whether it's the housing crisis or the high cost of living, people are pointing at the 1% to accuse them of ruining things for the 99% in a multitude of ways.

Keep reading...Show less