It's not easy opening up to a therapist, and chemistry is important. Some patients have seriously bad luck, with therapists either not helping or making matters worse - like telling someone who was suicidal that they were simply hungry. WTF?
nick256 asked, [Serious]Did You Ever Regret Talking To A Therapist/Psychiatrist? Why?
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.
"Thinking happy thoughts" does not help with depression or anxiety.
GiphyYeah, when I was in my late teens this therapist suggested I should only think happy thoughts, that the abuse I received was my own fault for not standing up for myself, and when all of that didn't work she prescribed a high dose of Xanax for me. Literally said she would be beating the s*** out of her own daughter if she found out she was cutting herself like me (back then). I thought this was the norm and she was right, a better therapist later on told me that she was messed up and demanded the company she was with to make sure she wouldn't ever have another client again. Apparently she got many, many complaints as she did this to many of her clients.
This is bad advice.
Had a therapist who recommended me to go visit my dad whose girlfriend had a month prior tried to strangle me to death, and had abused me for well over a year. I was five at that time.
Props for trying.
GiphyI've been seeing a therapist for a year and it's been great. Some sessions are better than others, but it's helped me considerably with my issues of anxiety and depression.
However, she suggested than I try one of the group classes, and I was hesitant. But I figured that the worst that could happen was a bad experience, and signed up for one.
It went fine until the doctor/teacher asked to share what was bothering us. I was not at all prepared for this. It takes a long time for me to open up to someone other than a doctor about this stuff, I was not remotely okay with sharing this information with total strangers. I basically had an anxiety attack while waiting for my turn, and did my best to hide it when I was asked to speak, but I wasn't able to form coherent sentences. The doctor reminded me to try some of the basic anxiety coping mechanisms and I basically clammed up after that. I spent the rest of the class trying to not dwell on the fact that I had a anxiety attack right in front of people.
I felt worse after that than I did before I stared seeking help. It only really took me a week or so to feel normal again, but there is no way that I'll ever do any kind of group therapy again.
Malpractice 101. Crohn's can cause depression, however.
At around age 12 I started getting terrible, burning stomach aches. All I could do was lay in my bed, waiting for it to go away. Went to my doctor and he "diagnosed" me with lactose-intolerance (I did drink a lot of milk) and depression/anxiety. Made me go to a therapist but I just knew that wasn't the issue. Mentally I was fine, still am. Kept going to these over and over again, learning nothing, while my health state got worse and worse. My body turned to bones, my skin was as pale as a ghost. But no, I was "just sad." (Don't worry, I know depression is more than just being sad.) It almost got to a point where they just about convinced me they were right, and it was just a mental thing. Finally went to a professional and was immediately diagnosed with Crohn's disease. Within a month after receiving treatment, my skin color came back, and I gained around 10-15 pounds after being deathly below what I should have been. It wasn't totally the therapist's fault, but it still made a little upset that I was always just told I was wrong.
"Religious therapist" should be considered an oxymoron.
I did! I found it really difficult to talk about things and it was emotionally draining.
I'm a reserved kind of guy, and I don't talk about that kind of thing, so opening up was unnatural and too much to deal with for me.
I also saw a Christian therapist, which in hindsight maybe wasn't the best idea for someone questioning their sexuality.
That's not how it works.
GiphyThere was a time when I felt down a lot, so I figured seeing a therapist might be a smart move. She told me emotions are a triangle of happy, sad, and angry if I recall correctly.
"whenever you feel sad or angry, just think about things that make you happy"
That's it, that's all there is to it apparently.
Thanks doc.
Just pray! Pray it all away!
Yes. Husband and I went to marriage counseling after a large marriage altering event. He chose a Christian counselor. I had misgivings, but went anyway.
Chick basically spent every session telling us to read some workbook she was selling (not even one she had written), and then ended in prayer. Yea, not helpful at all. We ended up only going a handful of times and working things out on our own instead.
Well, here we have an ethics violation.
Yes.
So my ex-school has this system where a psychologist will come in and talk to kids that the school thinks needs some therapy. The school pays for the psychologist to assess the student and if the psychologist thinks that the student needs some extra therapy, the school will then allow for extra sessions. I suffer from a lot depression and PTSD but I have a psychiatrist outside of school that helps me so much, but regardless of my improving mental state, the school wants me to see that psychologist that they have just in case.
So I went in there, explained that I am doing really well and that I just want to spend some of my free time I have for myself but the school psychologist didn't want to hear that and continues to question me on and on about stuff and so I eventually told her that yes I do have recurring nightmares of my mother who was abusive sometimes and that affects my sleep a bit, it's no big deal, it doesn't affect my mood or my overall performance at school but the psychologist wanting the money, goes to the school and tells them "She has reoccurring nightmares of her mother and I think she needs some extra therapy," basically exploiting that ONE THING I SAID SO THAT SHE CAN GET MORE MONEY.
I found the sessions really unhelpful and it sometimes even cause me panic attacks afterwards because that of a psychologist digs up well buried memories that I have long forgotten back to the surface and pretty much undoing all the ACTUALLY USEFUL THERAPY WORK THAT MY PSYCHIATRIST OUTSIDE OF SCHOOL DID. I got so fed up at one of the sessions that I walked out and my father made a formal complaint to the school board saying that they are forcing me to do unnecessary treatment despite several different requests cancelling therapy sessions.
Takes a lot to be this hangry.
GiphyI was suicidal and the therapist told me I was probably just hungry.
Awkward. And seriously unprofessional.
Yeah. Wife and I went to a marriage counselor. He tried to rub one off when we were talking about our sex life.
On whose side was this therapist?
Yes, very much so. I struggled a lot as a teen with bullying at school and what amounted to what I now recognize as emotional abuse at home. I was very depressed and anxious. I started having thoughts of suicide at age 13. I eventually convinced my parents to let me see a psychiatrist, though they didn't really think there was a problem. I was a HS freshman at the time, so 15-16.
I liked the doctor a lot at first. He was friendly, he really listened to me talk about my issues, and he was the only sympathetic adult in my life at that point - I thought. After a while, he told me the way I was being treated at home was very wrong, and he wanted me to bring my dad in to a session so we could all talk about it together. He felt that if he were mediating the conversation, my dad might actually take my feelings seriously. I thought, "Wow, this is great, I will finally be heard!"
The next time I came in, I brought my dad, but the doc did a complete 180, talking about me with my dad as if I weren't even there. He told him he was doing a good job as a parent, but I was just a bad and rebellious kid who did everything for attention. The best thing to do, he said, was ignore my attention-seeking behaviors and not validate them in any way. He said he didn't believe I was really depressed at all and was faking to get drugs.
A friend had died in a car accident just a few days before, so I was already in an emotionally vulnerable place. Whenever I tried to speak, they'd just talk over me, like I was just some thing, not a person with feelings. I started to cry, so the doctor pointed at me and said, pretty triumphantly, "See! She's crying now because she knows I'm right. I can't be right because I'm old, isn't that right, downhereforyoursoul? You can't stand for an adult to be right!"
I tuned out whatever was being said after that, just quietly cried while they continued discussing me and my issues with authority or whatever. Home life worsened after that because now there was even less of a chance for me to ever be listened to or taken seriously. I self-medicated with drugs and alcohol. It was many years before I felt comfortable seeking help again.
That ahole is probably retired or dead by now, but f*ck him. I'm still salty about it.
This is profoundly unhelpful.
GiphyYes, she repeated what I have to do is change my personality. Feeling depressed and anxious is about my personality... Interesting.
Isn't it the therapist's job to recognize signs of abuse?
Yep! My therapist, who is been seeing for a year prior for other reasons, had incredibly unreasonable expectations for a new relationship of mine. Talking about "true love" and how "some people just get so lucky finding 'their person' so young". I remember having misgivings at the time, but continued seeing her. Started having relationship problems so brought him with me to the therapist. Therapist started getting erratic and giving contradictory advice in the same session. Ended up having to dump the therapist before dumping the SO.
Ironically, this therapist is supposedly the best in my area for post-abuse counseling.
When your therapist violates confidentiality...
Yep. As a teen I had a few sessions with a psychologist. I wanted to go in order to talk about some historical trauma but my father was paying for the sessions because he wanted me to figure out how to better adapt to life with his new batshit crazy wife. After a few sessions, I found out that the psychologist was having regular discussions over the phone with my father and disclosing what I was saying during our sessions. I promptly freaked out and then refused to seek psychological help (which I really needed) for close to a decade.
Don't treat patients like customers.
GiphyShe treated me like a product and did her job like it from a checklist. I wasn't in a good mental state at the time and she pushed too many of my buttons. The most notable thing I said to her was "stop regurgitating the same bile you find off of the internet and do your f*cking job."
- Depression Sufferers Share The Worst Advice They’ve Ever Gotten - George Takei ›
- People Break Down The Best Advice They've Ever Received From Their Therapist - George Takei ›
Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.