There are just somethings that really should be said in person or over the phone. I love to text as much as the next guy, but not about important life matters. Don't be that lazy y'all. I realize that we've lost the patience and aptitude for human connection but we can get it back, just by the sound of a comforting voice. Or let's just use our brains when we are communicating. Think about how would you like to receive certain types of news? Then act accordingly.
Redditor u/jdparmenter wanted everyone to come together and spill some tea about those morning messages we've had to deal with once we look at our devices by asking.... What is the worst text message you could wake up to?"NEVER SAY THAT!!"
angry hate GIFGiphyOther than a text about the death or serious injury of someone you love, the "we need to talk" text would be second in line.
My wife will do this often. It's usually something not super duper important, but that she wants to hammer out quickly. Doctor visits, budgeting for our daughter's seasonal clothing, bills, etc.
I've told her multiple times that her wording sends me into a minor panic, but either she forgets or she just likes making me squirm for no other reason than to fuck with me.
Someone better be dead!
EMERGENCY BROADCAST - THOSE STILL ALIVE REPORT IMMEDIATELY TO LOCAL SHELTERS!!
January 13, 2018. My phone went off and since I work for the state I woke up to see what the alarm was in case I needed to head into work. Woke up the wife and kid and then tried calling Civil Defense to figure out wtf was going on.
No official reply for over 30 mins, served like an eternity.
911
"I hope you read this in time. I need help."
That was a pretty bad one to wake up to. I'm not sure if being preceded by a plea for help would have made it better or worse.
You Better Go Back!
Inside Out Reaction GIFGiphy"I'm getting Dunkin' in 5 minutes, text me what you want."
delivered 14 minutes ago.
I've shed real tears over these kinds of missed texts.
Love Mom....
"11 Missed Calls From: MOM."
After my mom died, I saved the last voicemail she sent me, and that was when she asked if I was eating well and taking care of myself. I almost wish it was my birthday phone call, but I got to hear that live so it was never recorded. But the one I actually have saved is the most Mom thing ever, so I guess it's sort of fitting.
Bad Morning...
The one I actually did wake up to on Christmas morning. "I tried calling. Your dad died."
I'm sorry for your loss, pal. Two xmas ago I couldn't get a hold of my mum on the phone. Also tried calling my brother and uncle who would definitely have been with her for Christmas. Nobody would answer the phone or text me back for hours. Worst feeling ever. Finally heard back from my brother, mum had a stroke and was in the hospital. It didn't take her then, but it was the beginning of the end.
Incoming....
Whatever that text was that everyone in Hawaii got saying a nuke was inbound.
My daughter, baby grandson, and husband were there too. It truly is the worst text to wake up to.
Mom, incoming missile threat to Hawaii, this is not a drill. I love you.
Avert your Eyes!
"DO NOT LOOK AT THE MOON!"
From what i think they're referring to is some fan made video about a government 'mandated' emergency lockdown that has a very eerie feel to it and it flashes a bunch of vague messages broadcasted across all devices to not look up at the ceiling, lock all doors, don't look outside or at the moon. super creepy video that had me paranoid for a second.
Good Boy
will smith applause GIFGiphyMy friend got a text once that said "good job buddy" he didn't know who it was so he replied "it burns when i pee."
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
Unlike introverts who tend to shy away from engaging in random discussions, those who are comfortable–or too comfortable–in their own skin love to get all chatty.
That doesn't mean they have anything significant to say.
"What’s the weirdest thing someone casually told you as if it were totally normal?"
People whom you don't know tend to overshare as these Redditors experienced.
A High Request
"A story from a friend - in Colorado, someone once asked, 'Could you watch my wolves, I can pay you in weed.'"
"There's a lot to unpack in that question!"
– surlymoe
"You don't unpack wolves, you keep them together."
– hwarang_
Unsolicited Prediction
"Husband (30) and I were pushing our shopping cart out of the grocery store when a random man (who honestly looked like dumbledore) looked at my husband and said 'take my hat, you're gonna need it, you'll be bald very soon.' Obviously my husband didn't take it. It was super odd of him to say because my husband had a FULL head of hair."
"Three months later, my husband was diagnosed with a condition that made him lose all of his hair. Weird coincidence."
– hollyjollyaf
Self-Casting
"A guy once told me how he loved the feeling of wearing casts, so he'd put casts on himself- for days or weeks on end. Even if it meant he couldn't drive and would be stuck at home the entire time. He'd use vacation time just to wear full leg & arm casts."
– Present_Dust_2308
Homophobic Homosexual
A homophobic guy I know: 'Being gay is a choice.'"
"I said something like - ok, choose to be gay for a day, an hour, a single minute if you can."
"Guy - That's easy, I'm attracted to men all the time, I just choose to only like girls because I'm not gay."
"Me - Ummm..."
– discostud1515
Longheld Grudge
"Once, an older woman came up to me on the street, took hold of my wrists and simply said 'they ripped out my afterbirth', and then carried on walking."
– JennyW93
"It's strange to grab strangers. But one day in Walmart, my granny walked ahead of me, and reached to grab me to show me something, without looking and she was pulling on an old lady's arm obliviously, and the old lady's eyes were like O.O."
"My grandma didn't even apologize, she just let go and yelled at me to stay closer."
– chzygorditacrnch
A Hairdresser-In-Training
"I was getting my hair done this last weekend by my daughter at her cosmetology school. One of her fellow students was excited to meet me. She talked nonstop and eventually told me that she has hemorrhoids and that she has her husband push them back in. So much TMI from a stranger!"
– Digjam823
You never know about the personal lives of people you see on a regular basis.
Squeaky Clean
"I had a college professor on the first day of class say that she is obsessed with Q-tips and cleaning her ears and that her family has to limit her to 3 a day-"
– lokeilou
Here's The Story...
"That they have 6 kids, all with different dads & each dad is in prison."
– ChyCgx2
"I once had a coworker who had seven kids with five different women and he'd constantly complain about how most of his paycheck went to child support. You uh, dug your own grave, pal. I'm really not sympathetic to your plight."
– apocalypticradish
It's the end of the world as we know it.
End Of Civilization
"I know a guy, we don't talk often but due to business we cross paths on occasion. More or less every time we talk he asks if I'm ready for the total societal collapse coming next week, or Tuesday, or at the end of the month.. and so on."
"I just tell him that it's not gonna happen; he usually then asks about my "crystal ball" so I remind him that I've been right every time."
– rkpjr
Zombie Apocalypse
"I went to a ComicCon type event in my city years ago(Walking Dead was a new show, first season for reference) and went to a panel about zombies. They talked about historical zombie lore, the first zombie movies, and the exciting first season of the new show Walking Dead, with some actors on the panel. When they opened it up to the audience for questions one of the first ones was, 'what kind of zombies do you predict we’ll have in a real zombie apocalypse? (Fast vs slow)'…panelists don’t really know how to answer, each gives their personal favorite or worst case scenario. Then we get to, 'What do you think the timeline is for the start of a coming zombie apocalypse?' Panelists are kind of like….? Talk about how things usually play out fiction."
“'No, but exactly WHEN do you think we’ll need to be fully prepared for zombies in real life?' Like, guys, these are actors and media studies academics, first of all they don’t have the level of belief you do and second, the people you should be asking about this stuff are probably biologists."
– AlternativeAcademia
Whenever I feel threatened by a homeless person who is pressuring me to hand over them cash, I tell them, "I''m allergic to corn."
The random phrase throws them and in the brief moment they assess what they heard I'm afforded more time to distance myself from them.
It always works, especially when they realize I'm all kinds of crazy and not worth targeting.
