Society gets confused about when two people of opposing genders are best friends.

It's never that you can just be friends. People make assumptions constantly about you both and how your relationship with each other must be.

And to make it worse, people that you love and trust do this to you too.


u/eternalrefuge86 asked:

What's the worst part of having an opposite-sex best friend?

Here were some of those answers.

Nobody Believes You

Definitely the stress it puts on my relationship. There is always at least a little bit of jealousy and protectiveness.

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/d85182...


Literally Nobody

The parent's questions.

You sure you don't like her? *Gives knowing wink*

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/d85182...


"She looks like she's taking real good care of you"

"Mommmmm....."

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/d85182...

Future Plans

Constantly being asked if you all are together or when you're going to be a couple.

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/d85182...

My friend used to introduce me as his sister just because of this. Luckily we look somewhat alike, soulless gingers we are.

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/d85182...

Gender Roles

everyone thinks it's going to end up in some Julia Roberts "we were in love the whole time" stuff

people will even say it in front of your SO

no- that's my friend- how hard is it to understand?

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/d85182...

Making It Bearable

A female friend of mine started dating a yoga guy with a top knot, can't stand that guy

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/d85182...

It really is annoying when the guys they like to date clash with your personality. Can be frustrating when they want to do stuff and you cant stand their partner and they cant stand you.

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/d85182...

The Same Everywhere

Jealousy from my SO. I have to second-guess all the things I do or say to my SO when it comes to things about the best friend. I try to make sure she doesn't overthink anything. I have a lot of anxiety when she overthinks and I just can't seem to snap her out of it. Hiding things from her isn't something I want, and doesn't really seem like it'll help if at all. I don't know how to deal with the amount of anxiety and stress I feel, all I can hope is I can get better.

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/d85182...


When It DOES Happen

I've had a female best friend for over 20 years. The worst part is we have occasional phases where one of us wanted to be more than friends. It gets really emotional and weird until it passes and things go back to normal. It seems to get stronger every time though and it's scary. We're both terrible at relationships and I can't imagine losing an almost life long friendship over it.

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/d85182...

No Scrubs

The worst part for me is when I meet her new fella for the first time and a few beers in he asks if his girlfriend and I have ever slept together. I feel bad because I know at that point his days are numbered because they always end up the jealous, possessive type - those dudes don't last.

Also, just like to say clearly a few people in here don't understand the meaning of friendship. You aren't friends if you're just sitting around waiting for her to have sex with you. Sort yourselves out you scrubs.

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/d85182...

Scary Treading Water

Wondering if you'd be great together but then you're not really attracted to them so you'll probably never know. And even if you are attracted to them you wouldn't risk becoming more than friends because what if it doesn't work out?

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/d85182...

The Most Difficult Part

You can't talk about gender-specific issues with them. I don't mind best friends who are guys, but it's hard for them to understand the pains of bleeding through your freaking underwear.

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/d85182...


Everyone always harps on the importance of first impressions.

But we also need to pay attention to all that follows.

I'm starting to believe a first impression can be a great fake-out.

People will allow their true colors to shine over time.

Redditor Xanax_Sprite wanted everyone to open up about what things people can do that immediately change one's opinion of a person's character, not for the better.

They asked:

"What immediately makes you think less of someone?"

It's entirely too easy to turn me off. I admit, it's an issue. Maybe that's a thing people suddenly dislike about me.

Bad Behavior

rude bon qui qui GIFGiphy

"Intentional embarrassment. When someone brings something up in front of a group to humiliate someone else."

mr_xen_

Man Up

"Not taking responsibility for their actions."

DragonVash

"Even worse. people who make excuses for their mistakes, no matter how bluntly you point it out to them that this is their shortcoming. Man up and admit you make a mistake. Stop telling me A happened then B happened so C happened. we are here to work, not tell each other make believe stories."

Chomusuke_99

Be Quiet

"Someone who interrupts a serious conversation to make it about them."

-Zuine-

"Being subject to that infuriating s**t was what eventually inspired me to listen to people more, especially regarding heavier topics. Sometimes people just need to be heard and held, and it isn't fair for them to expose their vulnerabilities only to have you dismiss them by trying to make their suffering about you."

I_Consume_Shampoo

Where are they?

"How they speak about a person who is not present in the conversation."

weirdlikenick

"One of the most important lessons my father taught me..."

"Don't speak about a person if they're not in the room."

"They don't have a representative in the room and especially if your words get back to them and they can't say 'I know, he already had that convo with me.' I've earned a rep for not speaking behind people's backs to the point where when someone claimed I did, that person called them a liar. Pops sucked but I thank him for that lesson."

thatswhatshesaidxx

Be Consistent

Jennifer Lawrence Reaction GIFGiphy

"Hypocrites."

silentsurge95

"100. People can change their opinions, but not flip flop regularly."

0rd0abCha0

I can't with hypocrites. My life's biggest pet peeve.

Be clean

Season 4 Episode 22 GIF by The SimpsonsGiphy

"Littering."

Miniturbo23

"Yep, had a coworker once who spit on the floor inside."

"It was a warehouse-type building, but still. This particular guy also left cigarette butts on the floor inside and dumped a dog on the business property. Needless to say, he didn't last long here. Some people are just really rude and stupid."

UnderstatedEssence

Say Sorry

"Had a friend who never, ever apologized for anything or really took any responsibility. Even in situations which were funny and non-serious, he’d always talk his a** out of it (in a jokey matter). But when some s**t hit the fan, that guy turned into one of the scariest, manipulative and aggressive people I’ve met that would rather die than take accountability for the things he’s done."

"And for which there were many witnesses and evidence against him. Moral of the story, if you know someone who won’t say sorry or admit they did something wrong for even the least serious things, run, because when they actually do something seriously bad it’s just gonna get real ugly."

confused-girly

Face 2 Face

"Lying to my face. There’s no going back in my eyes because I will never trust you. Secrets are fine and dandy. That’s not quite the same as straight up lying. A direct example is people lying about their family dying to get out of work or when this older woman in her 40’s tried to lie about cleaning up her work station when she left it for me to clean."

brazosandbosque

“as a joke”

"Being mean to animals."

Catatonia86

"Even when people joke about being mean to animals. I have a cat I love dearly and the number of comments I get about harming cats because people don’t like them 'as a joke' is infuriating and not funny, Ken."

indiscreetraven

"I include poorly training their pets in this. It’s neglect/negligence and it’s abuse."

baby_*itchface

Eyes Up

Call Me Lol GIF by Black PrezGiphy

"When they’re looking at their phones, not paying any attention to you when you’re trying to have a conversation with them."

Beedalabupp

It doesn't take much to change an impression. Let's do better.

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