Society gets confused about when two people of opposing genders are best friends.
It's never that you can just be friends. People make assumptions constantly about you both and how your relationship with each other must be.
And to make it worse, people that you love and trust do this to you too.
Here were some of those answers.
Nobody Believes You
Definitely the stress it puts on my relationship. There is always at least a little bit of jealousy and protectiveness.
The parent's questions.
You sure you don't like her? *Gives knowing wink*
"She looks like she's taking real good care of you"
Constantly being asked if you all are together or when you're going to be a couple.
My friend used to introduce me as his sister just because of this. Luckily we look somewhat alike, soulless gingers we are.
everyone thinks it's going to end up in some Julia Roberts "we were in love the whole time" stuff
people will even say it in front of your SO
no- that's my friend- how hard is it to understand?
Making It Bearable
A female friend of mine started dating a yoga guy with a top knot, can't stand that guy
It really is annoying when the guys they like to date clash with your personality. Can be frustrating when they want to do stuff and you cant stand their partner and they cant stand you.
The Same Everywhere
Jealousy from my SO. I have to second-guess all the things I do or say to my SO when it comes to things about the best friend. I try to make sure she doesn't overthink anything. I have a lot of anxiety when she overthinks and I just can't seem to snap her out of it. Hiding things from her isn't something I want, and doesn't really seem like it'll help if at all. I don't know how to deal with the amount of anxiety and stress I feel, all I can hope is I can get better.
When It DOES Happen
I've had a female best friend for over 20 years. The worst part is we have occasional phases where one of us wanted to be more than friends. It gets really emotional and weird until it passes and things go back to normal. It seems to get stronger every time though and it's scary. We're both terrible at relationships and I can't imagine losing an almost life long friendship over it.
The worst part for me is when I meet her new fella for the first time and a few beers in he asks if his girlfriend and I have ever slept together. I feel bad because I know at that point his days are numbered because they always end up the jealous, possessive type - those dudes don't last.
Also, just like to say clearly a few people in here don't understand the meaning of friendship. You aren't friends if you're just sitting around waiting for her to have sex with you. Sort yourselves out you scrubs.
Scary Treading Water
Wondering if you'd be great together but then you're not really attracted to them so you'll probably never know. And even if you are attracted to them you wouldn't risk becoming more than friends because what if it doesn't work out?
The Most Difficult Part
You can't talk about gender-specific issues with them. I don't mind best friends who are guys, but it's hard for them to understand the pains of bleeding through your freaking underwear.
Everyone always harps on the importance of first impressions.
But we also need to pay attention to all that follows.
I'm starting to believe a first impression can be a great fake-out.
People will allow their true colors to shine over time.
Redditor Xanax_Sprite wanted everyone to open up about what things people can do that immediately change one's opinion of a person's character, not for the better.
"What immediately makes you think less of someone?"
It's entirely too easy to turn me off. I admit, it's an issue. Maybe that's a thing people suddenly dislike about me.
Bad Behaviorrude bon qui qui GIFGiphy
"Intentional embarrassment. When someone brings something up in front of a group to humiliate someone else."
"Not taking responsibility for their actions."
"Even worse. people who make excuses for their mistakes, no matter how bluntly you point it out to them that this is their shortcoming. Man up and admit you make a mistake. Stop telling me A happened then B happened so C happened. we are here to work, not tell each other make believe stories."
"Someone who interrupts a serious conversation to make it about them."
"Being subject to that infuriating s**t was what eventually inspired me to listen to people more, especially regarding heavier topics. Sometimes people just need to be heard and held, and it isn't fair for them to expose their vulnerabilities only to have you dismiss them by trying to make their suffering about you."
Where are they?
"How they speak about a person who is not present in the conversation."
"One of the most important lessons my father taught me..."
"Don't speak about a person if they're not in the room."
"They don't have a representative in the room and especially if your words get back to them and they can't say 'I know, he already had that convo with me.' I've earned a rep for not speaking behind people's backs to the point where when someone claimed I did, that person called them a liar. Pops sucked but I thank him for that lesson."
Be ConsistentJennifer Lawrence Reaction GIFGiphy
"100. People can change their opinions, but not flip flop regularly."
I can't with hypocrites. My life's biggest pet peeve.
Be cleanSeason 4 Episode 22 GIF by The SimpsonsGiphy
"Yep, had a coworker once who spit on the floor inside."
"It was a warehouse-type building, but still. This particular guy also left cigarette butts on the floor inside and dumped a dog on the business property. Needless to say, he didn't last long here. Some people are just really rude and stupid."
"Had a friend who never, ever apologized for anything or really took any responsibility. Even in situations which were funny and non-serious, he’d always talk his a** out of it (in a jokey matter). But when some s**t hit the fan, that guy turned into one of the scariest, manipulative and aggressive people I’ve met that would rather die than take accountability for the things he’s done."
"And for which there were many witnesses and evidence against him. Moral of the story, if you know someone who won’t say sorry or admit they did something wrong for even the least serious things, run, because when they actually do something seriously bad it’s just gonna get real ugly."
Face 2 Face
"Lying to my face. There’s no going back in my eyes because I will never trust you. Secrets are fine and dandy. That’s not quite the same as straight up lying. A direct example is people lying about their family dying to get out of work or when this older woman in her 40’s tried to lie about cleaning up her work station when she left it for me to clean."
“as a joke”
"Being mean to animals."
"Even when people joke about being mean to animals. I have a cat I love dearly and the number of comments I get about harming cats because people don’t like them 'as a joke' is infuriating and not funny, Ken."
"I include poorly training their pets in this. It’s neglect/negligence and it’s abuse."
Eyes UpCall Me Lol GIF by Black PrezGiphy
"When they’re looking at their phones, not paying any attention to you when you’re trying to have a conversation with them."
It doesn't take much to change an impression. Let's do better.
Some people keep their homes in such disarray that it's frightening.
Have you ever walked into a home and felt the need to run?
What people do in their homes is their business.
You decorate, color, and destroy it as you see fit.
However, it's our choice not to visit.
Redditor 3L3M3NT4LP4ND4 wanted to hear about the yuck factor we've all come across at the dwellings of others.
"What's the grossest thing you've ever seen at a strangers house?"
There are just some things that can't be unseen. Especially on other people's houses.
"A thick sheet of mold under the fridge. So thick I thought it was a rug."
"I used to work for a furniture company doing deliveries, and sometimes repos. As a rule of thumb, if you're doing a repo, the house you're about to go in is usually nasty as all hell. The one that sticks out in my memory was no exception. It was more of a compound of two or three trap dens, rotten saggy floors, roof falling in. Just f**king nasty. We had to repossess a stove they had bought maybe a month before."
"And in that short time it had become caked with grease and infested with roaches. When we got it back to the store the manager told us to put it out back, as in outside cause he didn't want the store to become infested. A week or two later a couple that refurbished old appliances came and bought it for twenty dollars."
"I’m a hospice nurse who works inside peoples homes. I have seen many many gross and disturbing things inside people's homes; hoarders, mold from flooding, floor missing etc. the worst thing I can remember was this patient who had around 10 dogs. The home was a hoarder house (not that unusual for my line of work)."
"However there was dog pee and crap all over the floor. The only path to walk through with all the clutter in the house was covered with animal feces. We would dress in full PPE (shoe covers, gowns, mask) every time we went in. The patient was very obese and his wife couldn’t care for him properly."
"He would be so saturated in urine that his waste would drip on the flooring around his hospital bed. Eventually APS got him out of the house. It was awful. I have smelled MANY terrible things but I struggled not to vomit when In this house caring for him."
"My younger sister would babysit for the couple next door. One evening, she asked if I could babysit for her instead, because she couldn't handle it. I was stupid, so I said fine. They had roaches everywhere. Kitchen. Bathroom. Living room. My sister wouldn't even sit on the couch - she sat on an ottoman in the center of the room, as did I. We only did that a few times before we weren't 'available' anymore."
Poor Petscats GIFGiphy
"Animal hoarders house. You could smell cat pee from the sidewalk and when she opened the door the smell was like a physical punch in the face. Piles of poop everywhere. I ended up anonymously reporting her to animal control."
We should never involve the fur babies in our mess.
EverywhereClean House Cleaning GIF by The Roku ChannelGiphy
"I went to visit a friend whose house I had never been to before. We were outside on the patio, I asked to go in to use the toilet, she was reluctant. Every dish, pot, and pan in the kitchen was dirty and filled with water. Not just on the counters, on the floors all over the place. It looked like it had been that way a while."
"I went to a friends house so he could do some work on my car. After he was finished (hours later) I really needed to pee so I asked if I could use his restroom prior to driving home. He seemed hesitant at first but finally said yes. I regret ever asking... they were a full on HOARDER family."
"There was barely enough room to walk in the front door to the bathroom and once in the bathroom literally just the toilet bowl was visible. I pretended to pee and hightailed it out of there and peed at the gas station up the street."
"Went to a friend of a friend's house who had a young, friendly and very excitable pit bull. Sat down on the couch, dog jumps up onto the cushion next to me and unleashes a TORRENT of pee, soaking the other cushion. Before I can do anything he shoos the dog off the couch, flips the cushion and hands me a beer like nothing happened. Needless to say I got up, chugged that beer and bounced within about 2 minutes."
"A buck rag Used for child discipline. A very old-fashioned thing, but still used in parts of the US. You just pop the lid and hold it under the child's nose. It stinks. Easily bought from goat farmers online, apparently. It gets the smell from male goats. I was at my girlfriend's house at 16 and didn't believe her dad really owned one, so she showed me when he wasn't looking."
"A disgusting rag that clearly used to be white, but was thoroughly yellowed/greyish and discoloured and slick-looking. Double-sealed inside 2 glass jars. I almost smelled it out of curiosity (though she urged me not to) but got cold feet when I pulled it out of the drawer... even without opening the jars I sensed something smelled slightly... funky. I'm not sure if I was imagining it or if it was really that strong but I didn't want to experience it any more than that."
infested...Excited The Muppet Show GIF by Muppet WikiGiphy
"Went to a friends house who had huge a** rats sitting on the shelves in closets when you opened them lol... place was infested with them and they didn’t even care slightly."
People really need to clean a little. Just a little...
Who hasn't, every now and again, witnessed someone doing something, or behaving a certain way and thought "that's so f*cked up", or something to that extent?
And yet, off-putting as it was to us, and one assumes many others, we will often witness these things happen over and over again.
Leading one to assume that, "f*cked up" as it is, these off-putting behaviors or things are largely accepted in modern society.
Or, everyone simply chooses to ignore it.
Redditor xk543x was curious to hear what tasteless, or inappropriate things people tend to notice, but look the other way, leading them to ask:
"What is something f*cked up that we just ignore?"
Your body is your temple.
"Everyone’s poor eating and sleeping habits."- macaronsforeveryone
Can NOT be ignored.
"Slavery is still a thing."- Pbjabsandwich-
"Child slave labor to make some of the developed countries' goods I'd imagine."- Akira282
Why people don't feel inclined to smile.
"How much dental work costs and the fact that dental insurance covers next to nothing."- OkCat9433Bryan Cranston Seinfeld GIF by HULUGiphy
End the stigma
"As in the regular kind."
"We are overworked and don't have enough time these days to ourselves and our loved ones."- Jackster22
Who can afford to live ANYWHERE?!
"The living cost not being even near matched to the majority of peoples incomes, in the UK anyways."
"The government have advised people that they should use things like gas and electric as sparingly as possible this coming winter if they want to still afford their bills and other necessities."
"Food, petrol, clothes, rent etc."- princessr444overdue relapse records GIF by Red FangGiphy
"Children dying of hunger."- laperuana
Information traveling at the speed of light... but at what cost?
"The internet's impact on society."
"Most people prefer to go with the grain on common behavior or opinions due to natural human herd mentality, and independent thinking not being very common."
"The problem is the internet gives rise to destructive, toxic, harmful, discriminatory, illogical, and ignorant cultures and ideologies."
"The majority of people who spend lots of time on social media will take influence from social media to fit in without even thinking about what they’re doing, or reflecting on whether what they’re are viewing is good, bad, true, or false."- nsfwcontentthrowaway
Do you know where that came from?
"How everything is made."
"Plastic leagues beyond what our recycling could ever offset, illegally sourced components and materials mined at the expense of local ecosystems."
"Child and essentially slave-labor."
"The list keeps rolling, but I just buy them because I like how the shoes look and I can afford it."- Rip3456·
Some might be genuinely unaware of these things, while others might choose to ignore them.
But these all remain very real problems.
Next time we become aware of something like this, rather than just thinking "that's so f*cked up", maybe we can take some time to research how we can help?
Every little bit counts.
When looking at a resume, it's easy to understand how prospective employers will assume someone is very intelligent based on their education and past experience.
But one shouldn't only assume someone's intelligence based on what they read.
More often than not, one can tell rather quickly that someone possesses above-average intelligence, based on how they speak, how they behave, or other telling details.
Redditor PadWanKenobi was curious to hear what people felt were the tell tale signs they were in the company of a possible genius, leading them to ask:
"What’s a sign of extremely high intelligence?"
"Ability to intuitively and quickly understand complex systems and how lots of parts relate in a coherent whole."
"Like I work with some people who just keep tons of concepts in their head and easily integrate new information into their understanding of those concepts."
"They immediately know what questions they should be asking to better understand."
"And these are things they're currently working on, not like things they spent time studying in school over years."
"They just have a very strong ability to synthesize new information into their understanding."
"I sit in meetings distracted and confused having forgotten what we talked about in the previous meetings, and these folks just consistently have a solid handle on everything."- Ok-Control-787
Innate Problem Solvers
"They know when not to solve a problem."
"This took me a while to understand but the smartest people I know do this."
"It could be a really simple thing like ignoring emails from people asking for help."
"The supervisor or boss might have a quick and easy solution for the situation but instead of just handing it to the person that asked they let them figure it out on their own."
"They know who they can do this with and when to do it."
"If they did that with all of their underlings it would just create a mess."
"Another example that I can think of is planned chaos."
"Some people can predict exactly where things will go wrong and they could fix it before it creates a problem."
"They don't because nobody ever notices what's going on in the background when things are working perfectly."
"Once things fails then everybody notices and if you are the one person that fixed it you become the hero."
"They can also use then chaos to reach a goal they couldn't get before if things were working correctly."
"There's many examples of this in every day life that I didn't see before until I realized what was happening."- atapesGiphy
You know what they say about people with small hands
"If your hand is smaller than your face."- FallofTheKnight
The all knowing glow.
"When someone asks you a question and you push your glasses up while light comes out of it and covers your eyes for some reason."- JonEregor
Those giveaway behavioral quirks
"Wearing glasses and saying things like 'ah yes', and 'I see' while you pensively rub your chin."- iuytrefdgh436yujhe2Thinking Reaction GIF by ABC TV + IVIEWGiphy
"When they explain something they make the people around them feel smarter, not dumber."- redkat85
Being one step ahead.
"The capacity to understand complex things, see patterns where regular people don't."- Ostepop234
"They have this tendency to make you go 'Ohhh, why didn't I think of that?' when listening to them talk."- did_it_forthelulzWhy Didnt I Think Of That Cillian Murphy GIFGiphy
An endless love of learning
"A passion for knowledge and expanding understanding of complex concepts."
"The plumber can be just as insightful as the scholar."- KatatoniK94
Of course, one shouldn't always be fooled by what they see.
As many people are masters at appearing much smarter than they are.
In fact, one important sign of super intelligence is being able to separate those who appear smart, from those who actually are.