You do the good-natured thing of letting someone into your home.
You allow them to eat your food, share your living space, and bathe using your water. And what do they do in return?
Stuff like the people in these stories did.
Reddit user, Mr_Yus_uwu, wanted to know what you should never be okay with a guest doing when they asked:
What was the worst thing your guest did when they took "Make yourself at home" very literally?"
It's not so much what they're asking, or what they're doing, but perhaps it's the way they've asked?
No. It's because they're performing self-cleaning procedures in the same place you eat.
Not Our Problem?
"Dinner guest asked to stay overnight because of the snow (which wasn’t forecasted until much later that night). Spouse and I agreed as we didn’t have work the next day. But guest did - and at 7:30 in the morning he was freaking out because we hadn’t shoveled the driveway for him yet. “How am I supposed to get to work on time?!”"
"What did you guys do after? I kind of want to know the rest lol."
"We told him that our “plow guy” gets here when he gets here (we have a looong driveway) and we have no control over that. Then I poured myself a coffee and sat on the couch."
"Came home, sitting in his boxers on my kitchen counter washing his feet and trimming toenails in my sink has got to take the cake."
It shouldn't be that hard to be a good house guest. Someone is allowing you to stay in their home, so perhaps don't do anything you wouldn't anyone doing in your own home.
Don't Rearrange Furniture. Or Throw Away Furniture.
"My father in law was staying with us for a month, he lived in Oman. The spare room was an office with a sofa bed in so it could double up for guests. He bought a double bed and got rid of the sofa bed. I lost my office."
"What a twat! You must've been so relieved when he left. Tell me he left."
"He left, then moved back in for almost a year when he retired."
Remember To Turn It Off
"I had guests turn the pool heater on in February and not turn it off or tell me it was on. I noticed steam coming off the pool a week later and it was 90*F. The bill was just under $1000."
"My uncle did this once. It was fairly cold in Florida for the time of year and they were hosting a wedding party at their home and turned the heater on for the pool. The only difference to your story, however, is that it was not discovered until we came to visit and realized that the pool was uncomfortably warm, considering it was June. They noticed an increase in the bill but never put two and two together."
How Do You Burn...Oh, I See
"Started a kitchen fire by cooking spaghetti in cake pans without water."
"Edit: when I heard the fire alarm ring I ran to the kitchen to find him looking over the stove trying to blow out the fire, with his mouth. Like phuuu phuuu. Basically stoking the flames."
"I slide the flaming cake pan into the sink and dosed it in water to put it out."
"Me, yelling at him asking wtf he was doing."
"His only defense: it woulda worked"
"No motherf-cker, it clearly wasn’t working. I realized this day he started abusing oxys and was so high he had no idea what he was doing."
"Sad story really."
And then there's these, the worst offenses imaginable by people you once seemed okay with allowing into your home but will most certainly never be let back in.
Simple Rule of Thumb: Don't Break Into People's Homes
"My husband’s old friend stayed with us for two weeks while we were living in Japan. He was very smug and irritating; an instant ‘expert’ on Japan after a few days, when we had been living there for two years."
"Finally, finally he left on a Friday. My husband and I had separate plans on Saturday. I returned in the afternoon to an unlocked door and the sound of the TV. I thought hubby had returned early."
"Nope. It was Old Friend - thinking we had gone for the weekend, he had broken into our apartment for an extra two-night stay."
"“You weren’t supposed to be here!” he protested - and he refused to leave until my husband came back home and told Old Pal personally that he had overstayed his welcome."
Ratting Out On Your Spouse
"My wife 3 days ago."
"Tasked with feeding her friends cat while they're away for a week."
"They said help yourself to whatever you like."
"She came home with their waffle maker."
"Pretty sure it meant she could score a couple of their Tim tams not make off with their appliances"
Don't. Touch. The. Coffee. Maker.
"Rearranged my kitchen. That b-tch."
"Edit: it wasn't my mom. It was a guy I'd gone on two dates with that I left alone in my apartment for a few hours. My mistake I guess."
Just, Wow. Wow.
"The $900 phone sex bill. It was the early 90's and the bill came on paper and was about 100 pages."
"Edit: since this got a bunch of attention, I'll elaborate a bit."
"I let a guy stay in my house for a month while he was in summer school and I was going to be gone half the summer. He would call while black out drunk. Other than this, he was an excellent houseguest. He even told me that they were going to be these phone bills coming and that he would pay for it but we had no idea that it was going to be almost $1,000"
"The reason the bill was 100 pages was because each of the 1-900 numbers operated as individual little telephone companies that generated a separate bill for their services, so that $900 bill was about 50 separate bills printed individually that were bundled together by my local provider."
"If I didn't pay that bill somehow they were never going to let me have a telephone again. I was able to call some of the customer service departments and get some of the bills cancelled or reduced. My house guest coughed up $500 and gave me a CD player and a PlayStation and a TV"
"Caught a friend of a friend masturbating into my kitchen sink at 2am."
"a few months"
"My brother's best friend came to live with us for 'a few months' because he wanted to move back to our state. My parents agreed because he was supposed to go to college and they believe college education is important. Well 8 years later and he is still there, all my parent's children have moved out but for some reason my brother's best friend is still living there."
"My ex husband had a less than savory friend. He walked into my home once, helped himself to my fridge without asking and then when he got himself some silverware, had the audacity to insult it and say it looked like something a grandmother would have. Well yes, yes it does, since it's hers and she gave it to me."
"Another time he went to my MIL's house when we told him we didn't want to hang out. We weren't even home yet! He came in, say down, ordered a pizza that he refused to share with my MIL or BIL, and just sat there watching TV for two hours until we got back from whatever we were doing. He was a grade A a**hole. F**king hate you, Craig."
"My relative stayed with my grandma and proceeded to burn the house to the ground by deciding to have a bon fire 3 feet from the side of the house."
"Slightly related, a family members friends were staying at his place he'd inherited from a dead relative while he was in jail and they caught the place on fire making meth."
1 damn cookie...
"One of my guest brought beer for only himself, put his feet on my dining table, and when he left he took the cookies he had brought over as a thank you gift for letting him stay 3 nights at our place because the road to his house flooded. I only had 1 damn cookie and was very annoyed by how cheap he was."
Out of H20
"An in-law took about a 28 minute shower after I explained we were in the middle of a drought and that our well was dangerously low. I’m assuming it was going to be a 30 minute shower but we ran out of water."
"I wonder if that was intentional, I cant say why but you'd think saying 'hey my house runs on well water and an extensive shower is probably going to use the last of it up' would make any rational person put away their plans for a long shower."
"Literally tried to move in. Had a old friend that was in town and I offered to let her stay here for a week instead of getting a hotel. A week turned into two, which became a month. When I confronted her and asked when her new place would be ready, she said she thought she could just stay. Since she had all of her stuff and was here for over two weeks, even the cops wouldn't take her away. Had to formally evict her."
"Didn't leave for 6 months, ate all our cheese and wasted all our dishwasher tablets on 're-running the dishwasher bc it did a bad job' (but would run the same load like 10 times???). He was sleeping w/ my flatmate and she undermined all our attempts at getting him to leave once we realised he was a hobosexual."
"EDIT hobosexual - sleeps or dates ppl for housing. And our dishes were clean, he was lazy and couldn't do the 1 chore I gave him. He re ran out of laziness."
"Am I allowed to talk about my current guests? My flatmate’s friend has been here for nearly 6 days, they’ve used my food, expensive shower products, let their child run screaming up and down the hallway for hours without stopping, and (me being petty) looked at me like I am a weirdo for being out in my own kitchen. They were supposed to leave yesterday. I’m very annoyed."
"Edit: good news lads my other flatmate said they’re gone. I can breathe easy again, the sun is shining and there will hopefully never be another screaming child in that house. I know staying 1 extra day seems not too big of a deal but there was literally nowhere in the house I could go to escape the screaming. I am very happy."
35 years later...
"My grandma offered to make him a sandwich. A little while later he said, where is that sandwich coming from, South Dakota? Guess he thought it was taking too long. 35 years later I still think about that asshole sometimes and wonder wtf was he thinking? Just how could you say that to someone's grandmother you just met? He was my cousin's dorky boyfriend's friend. I was about 13 yo and appalled. My grandmother was the sweetest woman and an amazing hostess."
Remember to ask if shoes are allowed in the house, compliment the chef, and don't call phone sex lines using the homeowner's phone unless you intend on reimbursing them.
And maybe not even then.
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"Don't touch me or my skin!" is a legendary battle cry in my family, courtesy of a frustrated and dramatic then-three-year-old.
She wanted to be picked up and cuddled, but also not touched in any way shape or form.
Honestly - same, fam.
Like... it's impossible but also I totally get it.
Reddit user NoLifeNoSoulNoMatter asked:
"Parents of toddlers, what was today’s meltdown-worthy tragedy?"
Buckle up, friends.
Toddlers are a wild and confusing ride.
"He asked me to open the banana but he didn't get to open it himself"
"This is why I just slightly open it and then give it to them to finish the job. Took me many MANY breakdowns to figure it out."
"This one is the worst. 'I can’t open it. Dad you do it'. I open it. 'Why did you doooo that?! I waaaanted to oooooopen it!!!!'."
"Lmao I feel so seen right now"
"This. Mine says 'No, my turn!!' God forbid you don’t let her do the thing. Which is normally just closing a drawer or something mundane."
"He wants to put a box on my head but it's broken and keeps falling off. So apparently it's ruining his play time."
"How dare you"
"I mean my playtime would definitely be ruined if my mommy's head kept falling off."
Ah Yes The Terrible 22's
"Took the car down to the body shop to get the side panel that he crunched buffed out. The car won't be ready until Wednesday but he wanted to go back downtown to party with his roommates tonight. He's 22."
"Ah the terrible twenty-twos! Hopefully he grows out of it soon!"
"So, you’re telling the rest of us that the whining never stops. Thanks. Haha"
"He's a great kid and we're very lucky. But yeah, the whining never really stops."
There Was A List
"First: his dad left for work. Second: he dumped out the box of goldfish crackers. Third: I picked up the goldfish crackers. Fourth: it wasn’t the right episode of Paw Patrol. Fifth: I won’t let him eat shoes."
"Wow that last one is just plain rude of you."
"Oh, don’t you love it when they want the second part of the show and you have no idea which one it is because they only list the first part?"
Tell Me More To Do List GIF by Disney ChannelGiphy
"My husband kissed me and apparently he is only allowed to show her affection. There was a lot of screaming and forcibly pulling us apart."
"My toddle is like this but the reverse. He fully believes I am his woman."
"(Nods in Sigmund Freud)"
"Yep. From what I remember It takes a while to understand the concept that affection is not a finite thing"
We Get This One
"She wasn't on the couch with her bottle and teddy bear."
"But actually, she was, but things weren't right"
"I mean to be fair how many of us are guilty of this? Or like when I get my food and blankies and become ensconced and then Netflix won’t play what I want or the remote is out of reach?"
"The worst is settling in with blankets and snacks only to realize the remote is out of reach. Ugh! I have to get up now?!"
"Aw bless. She just doesn't know how to explain how she feels."
"So far she's communicating 'eat', 'more', and 'banana'. We're slowly working our way up to the fung shui of the couch haha"
Those Two Are Tough Ones
"The cat was touching his toy. The toy HE threw onto the cat..."
"He also had a meltdown because his leg was attached to him..."
"Ok I need more information on the leg"
"We were driving along, all of a sudden from the back seat he starts crying and what not."
"I can't get it off!"
" 'My leg!' queue him pulling at his leg through fits of tears..."
"I flushed his poop and can’t get it back and now he can’t poop again."
"This one. I still love to embarrass my 15 year old by bringing it up. His dad flushed the toilet after he peed when he was maybe 3 or 4 years old. It was just before bedtime. Oh the heartbroken tears coz 'daddy flushed my wee'. Told him to go again. 'I don't have soooooome', was the wailed answer"
"I love this, but want to add to it- my kid is convinced the toilet can’t handle his poop. I’ve shown him how the toilet works, I’ve explained the entire sewage processing system to him several times, but he’s not going for it."
"I thought the answer would be to show him 'dad’s poop going down', so I asked his dad to 'save' a poop to flush with him watching.Dad sent a text, I sent my kid up, and seconds later I hear traumatic crying. Kid came running downstairs crying about daddy’s 'massive' poop, (my kid loves the word massive, but is good at using it in proper context), and I think we’re a good 3 months before he’ll even try pooping in the potty again."
I Have Rights
"Watched my 3 year old niece. Apparently not letting her eat cat treats is a violation of her civil rights"
"I've sharpened my pitchfork & lit my torch. You are obviously a monster."
"Talked to my pediatrician because my child kept eating the cat's food. (Elderly cat, tall toddler, really couldn't put the food up higher.) He suggested we switch to a moister food so my kid wouldn't choke."
"Let her eat them. They won't harm her."
Let's be honest—they're a lot more relatable than we'd like to admit.
Years ago, I knew a girl who came from a very strict family of Christian evangelicals. We never hung out, but she was forbidden from wearing anything "secular" and always looked very uncomfortable. It was apparent she suffered from anxiety.
She eventually found a few friends but I recall one friend who hung out at her place later told classmates that they had to answer questions about their religious affiliation before they would be allowed to enter the house.
I don't know if there's any truth to that story at this point but that would have been a giant red flag for me, just saying.
People shared their stories with us after Redditor daryandy asked the online community,
"What was the strangest rule you had to respect at a friend's house?"
"Friend wasn't allowed..."
"Friend wasn't allowed in her room unless she was sleeping or changing her clothes. She wasn't allowed to shower for more than 10 minutes. Her brother was also locked out of his room and was forced to take cold showers. All so they wouldn't pleasure themselves."
This is over the top and sounds like a surefire way to make overly sexual kids.
"A good friend of mine..."
"A good friend of mine went through a season where he didn’t have running water at his house so the rule in the house was that no one could come over unless they brought a couple gallons of water with them to pour into the toilet in the event that they had to poop."
Poor kid, growing up with that kind of stuff really sucks, even when it's only temporary. Especially if other kids find out.
"It wasn't really..."
"It wasn't really rule of the house but my friend's parents were huge helicopter parents. Went to a concert with a friend and we had to call (not text) her parents every hour to let them know we were okay."
Oh no, helicopter parents are the worst. That's no way for a kid to live.
"Her mom made us..."
"No "boy talk."
"Her mom made us keep the intercom on when we were in her bedroom and would listen to us talk, if we started talking about Boys, she would chime in and tell us to change the subject. We were 15/16 and not having the privacy to talk about crushes and stuff felt weird."
This is so wrong I don't even know where to begin with it.
"We had to keep our hands..."
"We had to keep our hands above the covers when we went to sleep so they could make sure we weren’t “doing anything”. I was 9. Literally was the last time I spent the night there. Weirdos."
Yeah... I can't say I blame you. Run for the hills. Not people you want to remain around.
"Stayed at a friend's house one night and the family communicated exclusively through whispering... not just hushed voices but full on hand to ear. Serious mind f*ck."
Something about this just gives me a creepy feeling.
"No one was allowed to laugh at the dinner table or talk other than to ask, "Please pass the. . ." No one was allowed to leave the table (even for a potty emergency) until the dad was done eating."
I don't understand this. This seems to defeat the purpose of eating as a family.
"It was impossible..."
"My friend's mom's boyfriend had one of those rooms we weren't allowed in for any reason. Problem was, it was the living room."
"It was impossible to get to the kitchen without going through that living room. Also couldn't reach the door to the backyard. So I never once entered the kitchen in that house, and any trips to the backyard meant walking out the front door and going through the gate on the side of the house."
Another one I just don't understand. Why are people like this? And the living room of all places? The living room?!
"I remember watching a movie at a friend’s house with another person, so there were three of us sharing a bowl of popcorn."
"Before any of us went to eat the popcorn, my friend said it was a rule in their house that each person can only pick up one small single piece of popcorn at a time.. we’d have to finish chewing it and wait to swallow it until picking up the next one individual piece of popcorn."
That's frustrating, would be better just to give everyone a bowl to split it. Especially since I bet the rule was made for potentially dirty hands.
"We had to finish..."
"We had to finish all the milk in the cereal bowl. Like every drop. But we weren't allowed to pick up the bowl or be noisy. Imagine three little kids carefully trying to drink milk from a spoon without slurping or scraping the bowl while one scary AF mom watched us in silence."
Something about this just grosses me out. Probably because I just don't like milk in cereal most of the time.
Your childhood feels pretty normal in comparison, doesn't it? You bet it does. I feel for some of the people here. Their parents are truly something else.
Have some stories of your own? Tell us more in the comments below!
Many people lie or exaggerate about seemingly little things. For example, I've wondered if many are lying or at the very least stretching the truth about the number of partners they've had.
One of those strange things where half of the people are lying and making the number higher, and the other half are lying and making it lower.
It's funny, isn't it? But you do you! What do we know?
People shared some of their thoughts with us after Redditor SleepingOmibozu asked the online community,
"What's something you're 100% sure most people are lying about?"
"How much their side hustle nets them."
When it comes to side hustles, everyone is much more successful than they actually are.
"Steroid abuse in the fitness industry."
This is a big one. So many people who say they're natural are juicing.
"I have read..."
"I have read and understood the terms and conditions..."
Stop attacking me! I did not ask for this!
"That they don't..."
"That they don’t pick their nose."
Yeah, right. The number of people I've seen digging for gold in public is so high.
"Fully understanding the plot of the Metal Gear Solid series."
I stopped trying to. Do I get a cookie? I'd love one.
"How often they clean..."
"How often they clean their bed sheets."
I'm not even going to ask. I think I will be seriously horrified by the answer.
"If you're not busy..."
"About their productivity levels. If you’re not busy, you’re not a good person."
Yeah, whatever. This is as bad as bragging about not taking breaks at work. It's not a good look.
"So many lies."
"Their income. So many lies."
Many people feel very self conscious about their salaries. It's sad.
"Why they're late."
"Why they’re late."
I'm not late often but when I am it's usually because of something ridiculous where if I said the truth it would sound like a lie.
"Hating the word..."
"Hating the word 'moist.'"
I love the word moist and I won't apologise.
You mean there are still people going on about this? It's just a word, people. Calm down.
Life's a competition, apparently. Take what a lot of people tell you with a grain of salt. That's the best advice.
Have some observations of your own? Tell us more in the comments below!
I once met a guy who, by all accounts, appeared to have given up. And by that, I mean that they had pretty much decided that life basically ended in the 1970s and early 1980s. He had no interest in modern technology, was remarkably out of the loop when it came to technology or even current events.
This was all very frustrating to witness, but he was actually proud of himself! Proud to not know much–if anything–about the modern world. (And then he complained about how he kept having trouble finding a job.)
It was quite the flex–an unimpressive one at that.
People shared some of their thoughts with us after Redditor metallicmuffin asked the online community,'
"What unimpressive things are people idiotically proud of?"
"Missing breaks at work for a company that wouldn’t care if they died the next day."
This is a big one. It's not cute. Take your break! There's more to life than work!
"Not eating any vegetables. Known a few people state it as if it's some kind of achievement giving themselves constipation."
Knew somebody like this. They wanted to go out on a date.
We did not go out on a date.
"Going into work while sick. Had a coworker who bragged on social media about having strep throat, but was still working because she 'values hard work.'"
Some people appear to have missed the memo that risking other people's health is not a bragging right.
"I know people..."
"Drinking a lot. I know people, grown @ss people in their late 20s, who will brag about passing out on their lawns because they couldn’t make it from the car to the front door."
To be fair, they're in their 20s and most people are idiots then. They might grow out of it!
"I once had..."
"I once had a coworker brag about how dark his pee is."
Are you seriously telling us that they bragged about their kidneys not working correctly?
"I've heard that..."
"Driving better when drunk. I’ve heard that ridiculous statement more times than I should."
If some people seriously believe that, then they should not be allowed to drive.
"I overheard a co-worker recently brag to a girl that he'd already had COVID three times and during his most recent bout, he went to the gym every day that he had it."
There are so, so many things wrong with that person's statement. Can you imagine? "Sure, I got COVID, but at least I didn't miss leg day!"
"I keep hearing people..."
"Not being able to cook. I keep hearing people bragging about how the only thing they can do is boil water."
If you've made it to adulthood and you don't know how to cook for yourself, there's something gravely wrong with this picture.
"Nothing surprises me..."
"Nothing surprises me more than when people are proud of their ignorance."
Knowledge is no guarantee of wisdom but prideful ignorance is proof of its absence.
"I worked with a guy..."
"I worked with a guy who, otherwise very smart, was extremely proud of the fact that he could remove the foil from the neck of a wine bottle without cutting it. He brought it up so many times I lost count. I just let him have it, though, because he seemed to need it."
Of all the things in this thread this is the most reasonable thing to be proud of.
Let's face it, it seems like a lot of people have made over-compensating a part of their personalities.
Sadly, they don't even seem to be doing that all too well, which means we'll continue to be largely unimpressed.
Have some observations of your own? Feel free to share them with us in the comments below!