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Hosts Describe The Worst Examples Of A Guest Making Themselves At Home

Hosts Describe The Worst Examples Of A Guest Making Themselves At Home
Dillon Shook on Unsplash

You do the good-natured thing of letting someone into your home.

You allow them to eat your food, share your living space, and bathe using your water. And what do they do in return?

Stuff like the people in these stories did.


Reddit user, Mr_Yus_uwu, wanted to know what you should never be okay with a guest doing when they asked:

What was the worst thing your guest did when they took "Make yourself at home" very literally?"

It's not so much what they're asking, or what they're doing, but perhaps it's the way they've asked?

No. It's because they're performing self-cleaning procedures in the same place you eat.

Not Our Problem?

"Dinner guest asked to stay overnight because of the snow (which wasn’t forecasted until much later that night). Spouse and I agreed as we didn’t have work the next day. But guest did - and at 7:30 in the morning he was freaking out because we hadn’t shoveled the driveway for him yet. “How am I supposed to get to work on time?!”"

user256049

"What did you guys do after? I kind of want to know the rest lol."

need2peeat218am

"We told him that our “plow guy” gets here when he gets here (we have a looong driveway) and we have no control over that. Then I poured myself a coffee and sat on the couch."

user256049

Just...No.

"Came home, sitting in his boxers on my kitchen counter washing his feet and trimming toenails in my sink has got to take the cake."

Spamh8r

It shouldn't be that hard to be a good house guest. Someone is allowing you to stay in their home, so perhaps don't do anything you wouldn't anyone doing in your own home.

Don't Rearrange Furniture. Or Throw Away Furniture.

"My father in law was staying with us for a month, he lived in Oman. The spare room was an office with a sofa bed in so it could double up for guests. He bought a double bed and got rid of the sofa bed. I lost my office."

Equivalent_Parking_8

"What a twat! You must've been so relieved when he left. Tell me he left."

Peanut_n_oopie

"He left, then moved back in for almost a year when he retired."

Equivalent_Parking_8

Remember To Turn It Off

"I had guests turn the pool heater on in February and not turn it off or tell me it was on. I noticed steam coming off the pool a week later and it was 90*F. The bill was just under $1000."

Fickle-Willingness80

"My uncle did this once. It was fairly cold in Florida for the time of year and they were hosting a wedding party at their home and turned the heater on for the pool. The only difference to your story, however, is that it was not discovered until we came to visit and realized that the pool was uncomfortably warm, considering it was June. They noticed an increase in the bill but never put two and two together."

YouthfulPhotographer

How Do You Burn...Oh, I See

"Started a kitchen fire by cooking spaghetti in cake pans without water."

"Edit: when I heard the fire alarm ring I ran to the kitchen to find him looking over the stove trying to blow out the fire, with his mouth. Like phuuu phuuu. Basically stoking the flames."

"I slide the flaming cake pan into the sink and dosed it in water to put it out."

"Me, yelling at him asking wtf he was doing."

"His only defense: it woulda worked"

"No motherf-cker, it clearly wasn’t working. I realized this day he started abusing oxys and was so high he had no idea what he was doing."

"Sad story really."

tdefreest

And then there's these, the worst offenses imaginable by people you once seemed okay with allowing into your home but will most certainly never be let back in.

Simple Rule of Thumb: Don't Break Into People's Homes

"My husband’s old friend stayed with us for two weeks while we were living in Japan. He was very smug and irritating; an instant ‘expert’ on Japan after a few days, when we had been living there for two years."

"Finally, finally he left on a Friday. My husband and I had separate plans on Saturday. I returned in the afternoon to an unlocked door and the sound of the TV. I thought hubby had returned early."

"Nope. It was Old Friend - thinking we had gone for the weekend, he had broken into our apartment for an extra two-night stay."

"“You weren’t supposed to be here!” he protested - and he refused to leave until my husband came back home and told Old Pal personally that he had overstayed his welcome."

Charismaticjelly

Ratting Out On Your Spouse

"My wife 3 days ago."

"Tasked with feeding her friends cat while they're away for a week."

"They said help yourself to whatever you like."

"She came home with their waffle maker."

"Pretty sure it meant she could score a couple of their Tim tams not make off with their appliances"

Mashy6012

Don't. Touch. The. Coffee. Maker.

"Rearranged my kitchen. That b-tch."

"Edit: it wasn't my mom. It was a guy I'd gone on two dates with that I left alone in my apartment for a few hours. My mistake I guess."

makin_the_frogs_gay

Just, Wow. Wow.

"The $900 phone sex bill. It was the early 90's and the bill came on paper and was about 100 pages."

"Edit: since this got a bunch of attention, I'll elaborate a bit."

"I let a guy stay in my house for a month while he was in summer school and I was going to be gone half the summer. He would call while black out drunk. Other than this, he was an excellent houseguest. He even told me that they were going to be these phone bills coming and that he would pay for it but we had no idea that it was going to be almost $1,000"

"The reason the bill was 100 pages was because each of the 1-900 numbers operated as individual little telephone companies that generated a separate bill for their services, so that $900 bill was about 50 separate bills printed individually that were bundled together by my local provider."

"If I didn't pay that bill somehow they were never going to let me have a telephone again. I was able to call some of the customer service departments and get some of the bills cancelled or reduced. My house guest coughed up $500 and gave me a CD player and a PlayStation and a TV"

MakesCakesEatsMud

2AM Issues

"Caught a friend of a friend masturbating into my kitchen sink at 2am."

EndlesslyUnfinished

"a few months"

"My brother's best friend came to live with us for 'a few months' because he wanted to move back to our state. My parents agreed because he was supposed to go to college and they believe college education is important. Well 8 years later and he is still there, all my parent's children have moved out but for some reason my brother's best friend is still living there."

xyz388

Damn Craig

"My ex husband had a less than savory friend. He walked into my home once, helped himself to my fridge without asking and then when he got himself some silverware, had the audacity to insult it and say it looked like something a grandmother would have. Well yes, yes it does, since it's hers and she gave it to me."

"Another time he went to my MIL's house when we told him we didn't want to hang out. We weren't even home yet! He came in, say down, ordered a pizza that he refused to share with my MIL or BIL, and just sat there watching TV for two hours until we got back from whatever we were doing. He was a grade A a**hole. F**king hate you, Craig."

pinner

Firestarter

"My relative stayed with my grandma and proceeded to burn the house to the ground by deciding to have a bon fire 3 feet from the side of the house."

lolppjoke

"Slightly related, a family members friends were staying at his place he'd inherited from a dead relative while he was in jail and they caught the place on fire making meth."

CranberryTaboo

1 damn cookie...

"One of my guest brought beer for only himself, put his feet on my dining table, and when he left he took the cookies he had brought over as a thank you gift for letting him stay 3 nights at our place because the road to his house flooded. I only had 1 damn cookie and was very annoyed by how cheap he was."

GogoYubari92

Out of H20

"An in-law took about a 28 minute shower after I explained we were in the middle of a drought and that our well was dangerously low. I’m assuming it was going to be a 30 minute shower but we ran out of water."

bandi53

"I wonder if that was intentional, I cant say why but you'd think saying 'hey my house runs on well water and an extensive shower is probably going to use the last of it up' would make any rational person put away their plans for a long shower."

jerrythecactus

You're Out!

"Literally tried to move in. Had a old friend that was in town and I offered to let her stay here for a week instead of getting a hotel. A week turned into two, which became a month. When I confronted her and asked when her new place would be ready, she said she thought she could just stay. Since she had all of her stuff and was here for over two weeks, even the cops wouldn't take her away. Had to formally evict her."

hello_ground_

Hobo What?

"Didn't leave for 6 months, ate all our cheese and wasted all our dishwasher tablets on 're-running the dishwasher bc it did a bad job' (but would run the same load like 10 times???). He was sleeping w/ my flatmate and she undermined all our attempts at getting him to leave once we realised he was a hobosexual."

"EDIT hobosexual - sleeps or dates ppl for housing. And our dishes were clean, he was lazy and couldn't do the 1 chore I gave him. He re ran out of laziness."

Few_Cup3452

Currently...

"Am I allowed to talk about my current guests? My flatmate’s friend has been here for nearly 6 days, they’ve used my food, expensive shower products, let their child run screaming up and down the hallway for hours without stopping, and (me being petty) looked at me like I am a weirdo for being out in my own kitchen. They were supposed to leave yesterday. I’m very annoyed."

"Edit: good news lads my other flatmate said they’re gone. I can breathe easy again, the sun is shining and there will hopefully never be another screaming child in that house. I know staying 1 extra day seems not too big of a deal but there was literally nowhere in the house I could go to escape the screaming. I am very happy."

Ok-Nail2938

35 years later...

"My grandma offered to make him a sandwich. A little while later he said, where is that sandwich coming from, South Dakota? Guess he thought it was taking too long. 35 years later I still think about that asshole sometimes and wonder wtf was he thinking? Just how could you say that to someone's grandmother you just met? He was my cousin's dorky boyfriend's friend. I was about 13 yo and appalled. My grandmother was the sweetest woman and an amazing hostess."

DiligentAdvantage475

Remember to ask if shoes are allowed in the house, compliment the chef, and don't call phone sex lines using the homeowner's phone unless you intend on reimbursing them.

And maybe not even then.

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Things People Secretly Love But Would Never Admit To In Public

Reddit user sweet_chick283 asked: 'What do you secretly love that you would never admit to in public?;

Collection of VHS tapes
Bruno Guerrero/Unsplash

What makes us all unique is our passions and the things we love, whether it's singing in the shower, reading books, or listening to specific music artists.

Unfortunately, we live in a world where we are judged for our various tastes and interests thanks to social media, and it makes us consciously selective about sharing the things we love on the internet.

Curious to hear about people's personal desires under anonymity, Redditor sweet_chick283 asked:

"What do you secretly love that you would never admit to in public?"

These aren't really chores for the following Redditors.

Good Clean Fun

"Mopping, im a janitor and generally hate my work... but damn mopping is so good."

– MrDDog06

"When you have a great rhythm going it is something special. I get the same feeling while I vacuum, but won’t let my wife know I enjoy it."

– Bogus_34

Act Of Unwrinkling

"Ironing clothes. A dozen of them. Can’t explain how it relaxes me. I told one person and they looked at me like I’m crazy."

– eerie_white_glow

"My mum misses the days when dad would be out on a Friday night, my brother out with friends and me upstairs quietly playing PS1. She would pour herself a Bacardi & Coke and do the ironing while watching her TV shows."

"I'm sure she doesn't really miss it now that we've moved out and they've retired but it was her wind-down after a busy working week so I can see how people can find it relaxing."

– xdq

Our solo actions can spark joy.

Big Brother Is Watching

"pretending to be on the Truman show and whenever im in my house i act all inconspicuous so they dont know that i know that they’re watching me."

– Bec_121

"C’mon man, you’re not supposed to let him know. You signed a contract when signing up for live views. I’m reporting you."

– doeswaspsmakehoney

The Multi-Tasker

"Playing video games naked at home while eating cheese."

– thickening_agent

Releasing The Kraken

"I love the feeling when you've eaten good fibre and let out a solid long train log in the toilet. That feeling is heavenly."

– therapoootic

"Even better when it’s a clean wipe and not a poo crayon."

– TheWarmestHugz

Ultimate Comfort

"My (male 41) weekend routine is coming home from work, make hot chocolate, start a fire, dress in a ugly pink nightgown made for old ladies and watch forensic files."

– crazyloomis

Some people are obsessed with collecting things.

So Kawai

"Sanrio stationery stores. All those different multicolor pens, a thousand kinds of erasers, spiral bound notebooks galore... my kids sadly have absolutely no appreciation for this wonderland..."

– HavingNotAttained

It's A Staple

"Office supplies have a weird, special place in my heart ever since I was a kid. They don't even have to be 'cute' necessarily."

"Japan's legendary stationery stores is unironically a reason I want to go."

– _CozyLavender_

Not Caring Anymore

"The older I get the shorter that list gets. Not because I love less things, but because I don't care about hiding it."

– Bi-Beast

"YES!! I'm 53 now. I'm working my first job in public since 2006. Today is Halloween and we're allowed to dress up so I am sitting here waiting to go to work dressed as a VERY bad Wednesday Addams. My bf said I'd 'look stupid' because no one else will probably dress up and I'm like, 'WHO CARES!' My makeup looks horrible and not like I practiced, but I DO NOT CARE! I'm having fun with it anyhow and I don't care if my coworkers dress up or not. I'm bein' ME! :)"

– deanie1970

Honorable mentions start here.

The Savior

"Picking up worms from the street and sidewalks when it rains and moving them into the dirt so they don’t burn in the sun, every time it rains I do this."

– sky_kitten89

Hero Of The Moment

"Yoooo I scoot SO many snails and worms. I work as a tech/mechanic at an automotive shop, I had a peoject car towed to my house the other day and it was covered in snails. I saw them when the tow guy/coworker was unloading and I was like, 'oh! It comes with free snails!' and began moving them. He laughed then realized and said, '... Oh, you're serious. Uh... Okay.'"

"I don't care who knows it. These little things barely can look out for themselves, why shouldn't we if we can take a moment to help? I don't care what happens next, it probably doesn't matter overall but I can help this moment."

– chris14020

Why should some of the hidden desires mentioned above have to be secret?

Redditors opening up about some of these would make them a hit at parties–no shaming.

As a matter of fact, I'll totally be down for a Forensic Files viewing party where we all make hot chocolate, light the fireplace, and cozy up together in our respective pink ugly nightgowns for old ladies.

historical reenactors
Sigmund on Unsplash

We've probably all heard some variation of the saying "Truth is stranger than fiction."

Real life isn't just strange, it can also be downright ridiculous.

History is riddled with moments of absurdity.

So ridiculous that people have a hard time believing real life is, well, really real.

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