Hosts Describe The Worst Examples Of A Guest Making Themselves At Home
You do the good-natured thing of letting someone into your home.
You allow them to eat your food, share your living space, and bathe using your water. And what do they do in return?
Stuff like the people in these stories did.
Reddit user, Mr_Yus_uwu, wanted to know what you should never be okay with a guest doing when they asked:
What was the worst thing your guest did when they took "Make yourself at home" very literally?"
It's not so much what they're asking, or what they're doing, but perhaps it's the way they've asked?
No. It's because they're performing self-cleaning procedures in the same place you eat.
Not Our Problem?
"Dinner guest asked to stay overnight because of the snow (which wasn’t forecasted until much later that night). Spouse and I agreed as we didn’t have work the next day. But guest did - and at 7:30 in the morning he was freaking out because we hadn’t shoveled the driveway for him yet. “How am I supposed to get to work on time?!”"
user256049
"What did you guys do after? I kind of want to know the rest lol."
need2peeat218am
"We told him that our “plow guy” gets here when he gets here (we have a looong driveway) and we have no control over that. Then I poured myself a coffee and sat on the couch."
user256049
Just...No.
"Came home, sitting in his boxers on my kitchen counter washing his feet and trimming toenails in my sink has got to take the cake."
Spamh8r
It shouldn't be that hard to be a good house guest. Someone is allowing you to stay in their home, so perhaps don't do anything you wouldn't anyone doing in your own home.
Don't Rearrange Furniture. Or Throw Away Furniture.
"My father in law was staying with us for a month, he lived in Oman. The spare room was an office with a sofa bed in so it could double up for guests. He bought a double bed and got rid of the sofa bed. I lost my office."
Equivalent_Parking_8
"What a twat! You must've been so relieved when he left. Tell me he left."
Peanut_n_oopie
"He left, then moved back in for almost a year when he retired."
Equivalent_Parking_8
Remember To Turn It Off
"I had guests turn the pool heater on in February and not turn it off or tell me it was on. I noticed steam coming off the pool a week later and it was 90*F. The bill was just under $1000."
Fickle-Willingness80
"My uncle did this once. It was fairly cold in Florida for the time of year and they were hosting a wedding party at their home and turned the heater on for the pool. The only difference to your story, however, is that it was not discovered until we came to visit and realized that the pool was uncomfortably warm, considering it was June. They noticed an increase in the bill but never put two and two together."
YouthfulPhotographer
How Do You Burn...Oh, I See
"Started a kitchen fire by cooking spaghetti in cake pans without water."
"Edit: when I heard the fire alarm ring I ran to the kitchen to find him looking over the stove trying to blow out the fire, with his mouth. Like phuuu phuuu. Basically stoking the flames."
"I slide the flaming cake pan into the sink and dosed it in water to put it out."
"Me, yelling at him asking wtf he was doing."
"His only defense: it woulda worked"
"No motherf-cker, it clearly wasn’t working. I realized this day he started abusing oxys and was so high he had no idea what he was doing."
"Sad story really."
tdefreest
And then there's these, the worst offenses imaginable by people you once seemed okay with allowing into your home but will most certainly never be let back in.
Simple Rule of Thumb: Don't Break Into People's Homes
"My husband’s old friend stayed with us for two weeks while we were living in Japan. He was very smug and irritating; an instant ‘expert’ on Japan after a few days, when we had been living there for two years."
"Finally, finally he left on a Friday. My husband and I had separate plans on Saturday. I returned in the afternoon to an unlocked door and the sound of the TV. I thought hubby had returned early."
"Nope. It was Old Friend - thinking we had gone for the weekend, he had broken into our apartment for an extra two-night stay."
"“You weren’t supposed to be here!” he protested - and he refused to leave until my husband came back home and told Old Pal personally that he had overstayed his welcome."
Charismaticjelly
Ratting Out On Your Spouse
"My wife 3 days ago."
"Tasked with feeding her friends cat while they're away for a week."
"They said help yourself to whatever you like."
"She came home with their waffle maker."
"Pretty sure it meant she could score a couple of their Tim tams not make off with their appliances"
Mashy6012
Don't. Touch. The. Coffee. Maker.
"Rearranged my kitchen. That b-tch."
"Edit: it wasn't my mom. It was a guy I'd gone on two dates with that I left alone in my apartment for a few hours. My mistake I guess."
makin_the_frogs_gay
Just, Wow. Wow.
"The $900 phone sex bill. It was the early 90's and the bill came on paper and was about 100 pages."
"Edit: since this got a bunch of attention, I'll elaborate a bit."
"I let a guy stay in my house for a month while he was in summer school and I was going to be gone half the summer. He would call while black out drunk. Other than this, he was an excellent houseguest. He even told me that they were going to be these phone bills coming and that he would pay for it but we had no idea that it was going to be almost $1,000"
"The reason the bill was 100 pages was because each of the 1-900 numbers operated as individual little telephone companies that generated a separate bill for their services, so that $900 bill was about 50 separate bills printed individually that were bundled together by my local provider."
"If I didn't pay that bill somehow they were never going to let me have a telephone again. I was able to call some of the customer service departments and get some of the bills cancelled or reduced. My house guest coughed up $500 and gave me a CD player and a PlayStation and a TV"
MakesCakesEatsMud
2AM Issues
"Caught a friend of a friend masturbating into my kitchen sink at 2am."
EndlesslyUnfinished
"a few months"
"My brother's best friend came to live with us for 'a few months' because he wanted to move back to our state. My parents agreed because he was supposed to go to college and they believe college education is important. Well 8 years later and he is still there, all my parent's children have moved out but for some reason my brother's best friend is still living there."
xyz388
Damn Craig
"My ex husband had a less than savory friend. He walked into my home once, helped himself to my fridge without asking and then when he got himself some silverware, had the audacity to insult it and say it looked like something a grandmother would have. Well yes, yes it does, since it's hers and she gave it to me."
"Another time he went to my MIL's house when we told him we didn't want to hang out. We weren't even home yet! He came in, say down, ordered a pizza that he refused to share with my MIL or BIL, and just sat there watching TV for two hours until we got back from whatever we were doing. He was a grade A a**hole. F**king hate you, Craig."
pinner
Firestarter
"My relative stayed with my grandma and proceeded to burn the house to the ground by deciding to have a bon fire 3 feet from the side of the house."
lolppjoke
"Slightly related, a family members friends were staying at his place he'd inherited from a dead relative while he was in jail and they caught the place on fire making meth."
CranberryTaboo
1 damn cookie...
"One of my guest brought beer for only himself, put his feet on my dining table, and when he left he took the cookies he had brought over as a thank you gift for letting him stay 3 nights at our place because the road to his house flooded. I only had 1 damn cookie and was very annoyed by how cheap he was."
GogoYubari92
Out of H20
"An in-law took about a 28 minute shower after I explained we were in the middle of a drought and that our well was dangerously low. I’m assuming it was going to be a 30 minute shower but we ran out of water."
bandi53
"I wonder if that was intentional, I cant say why but you'd think saying 'hey my house runs on well water and an extensive shower is probably going to use the last of it up' would make any rational person put away their plans for a long shower."
jerrythecactus
You're Out!
"Literally tried to move in. Had a old friend that was in town and I offered to let her stay here for a week instead of getting a hotel. A week turned into two, which became a month. When I confronted her and asked when her new place would be ready, she said she thought she could just stay. Since she had all of her stuff and was here for over two weeks, even the cops wouldn't take her away. Had to formally evict her."
hello_ground_
Hobo What?
"Didn't leave for 6 months, ate all our cheese and wasted all our dishwasher tablets on 're-running the dishwasher bc it did a bad job' (but would run the same load like 10 times???). He was sleeping w/ my flatmate and she undermined all our attempts at getting him to leave once we realised he was a hobosexual."
"EDIT hobosexual - sleeps or dates ppl for housing. And our dishes were clean, he was lazy and couldn't do the 1 chore I gave him. He re ran out of laziness."
Few_Cup3452
Currently...
"Am I allowed to talk about my current guests? My flatmate’s friend has been here for nearly 6 days, they’ve used my food, expensive shower products, let their child run screaming up and down the hallway for hours without stopping, and (me being petty) looked at me like I am a weirdo for being out in my own kitchen. They were supposed to leave yesterday. I’m very annoyed."
"Edit: good news lads my other flatmate said they’re gone. I can breathe easy again, the sun is shining and there will hopefully never be another screaming child in that house. I know staying 1 extra day seems not too big of a deal but there was literally nowhere in the house I could go to escape the screaming. I am very happy."
Ok-Nail2938
35 years later...
"My grandma offered to make him a sandwich. A little while later he said, where is that sandwich coming from, South Dakota? Guess he thought it was taking too long. 35 years later I still think about that asshole sometimes and wonder wtf was he thinking? Just how could you say that to someone's grandmother you just met? He was my cousin's dorky boyfriend's friend. I was about 13 yo and appalled. My grandmother was the sweetest woman and an amazing hostess."
DiligentAdvantage475
Remember to ask if shoes are allowed in the house, compliment the chef, and don't call phone sex lines using the homeowner's phone unless you intend on reimbursing them.
And maybe not even then.
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People Reveal Their Picks For All-Time Worst Fast Food Restaurant
Reddit user Soy_tu_papi_ asked: 'What’s the worst fast food restaurant?'
A lot of things have gone downhill since the pandemic, and it's made the whole process of bouncing back from those two to three years that much harder.
One thing we can all agree on is the quality of the food that we now find in restaurants, especially the fast-food joints we used to frequent and hit the drive-thru for on the drive home.
Curious what other people thought, Redditor Soy_tu_papi asked:
"What's the worst fast food restaurant?"
Eat... Expensive, Not Fresh
"Subway. The ingredients don't taste fresh. They don't give you enough meat or cheese. The bread tastes sweet. It's not even that cheap anymore."
- Brilliant-Mango-4
There for the Nostalgia
"Tim Hortons. We’re nostalgic for a time when they made fresh donuts and great soup and sandwiches. But that was more than 20 years ago and now everything is just heated from frozen garbage with garbage dish water coffee."
"The only reason they’re around is nostalgia and convenience. Americans for the most part didn’t fall for their crap when they expanded south because they didn’t have one on every corner, and they don’t have the nostalgia, and they already have a s**tty coffee and donut place called Dunkin."
- Strain128
Microwaved Soup
"Really, we all going to pretend like Panera is not fast food?"
- WelderNo6075
"It’s not fast. It's always a 20-minute wait."
- Greedy-Time-3637
"For microwaved soup."
- InsertBlueScreenHere
Hospital Food. Gourmet Prices
"Panera. For when you want hospital food, but you can’t afford the $127,209.00 hospital bill."
- BarnacleMcBarndoor
"Yeah, it’s only $126,208 for Panera."
- sherlock----75
"There is a similar yet worse than Panera hospital food restaurant called Atlanta Bread Company. How these two hell holes stay in business, I have no idea."
- GrandUnhappy9211
New Horizons
"I think KFC abandoned the American market and put all its resources into the Asian market, because omg KFC in Korea is something else. The chicken is breaded perfectly, with no mouth-destroying rock-hard breading and the ratio of breading to actual chicken meat is perfectly balanced."
"Also, the sauce selection; they have so many good sauces. The fries were great too."
- LolitasDaniel
RIP, Potato Wedges
"In my opinion, KFC. They got rid of their beloved potato wedges. The only thing I got there anymore was those and the mashed potatoes."
- dirtymoney
"Wendy’s breakfast potatoes almost fill that hole in my heart."
- Karsa69246
Those Darn Screens
"Any of them that have replaced their menu boards with TV screens that change every 15 seconds so I can't find the price of anything."
- xkulp8
"I hate the TVs. Maybe I'm just a bitter old guy, but they really don't seem to be an improvement. There's just too much going on, and it's too bright. Sure, it's probably more convenient for menu/price changes. But when you add in the cost and electronic waste, it doesn't feel like a net gain."
- BumpyMcBumps
No Longer Affordable
"McDonald’s. They’ve forgotten their role as the place I eat at because I’m broke, probably drunk, and want to fill up for a few bucks. Have you seen their prices lately!?"
- Jlace001
"A quarter pounder meal is over $10. $4 More bucks and you can get a chills old-timer and fries. And they always park you, so not very 'fast,' unless you are talking about the stomach cramps you get after."
- Eric12345678
Define 'Pizza'
"Little Caesars Hot-N-Ready is for when your manager promises you a pizza party when you exceed your sales goal and buys enough for one piece a person, but he's been talking up this party he's going to throw for you all week, so you come in on your day off and see two Hot-N-Ready boxes sitting there and some Dixie cups for water. Sometimes nothing is better, STEVE."
- cold08
"The secret technique for Lil Caesars is to give it another few minutes in the oven/under the broiler at home until it's to your liking."
- KaRabbit
The Great Pizza of the Past
"It hurts me to say this, but Pizza Hut."
"Back in the 80s and early 90s, Pizza Hut was amazing! It's somehow worse than Dominos now. It's a f**king travesty."
- Ocku2
"Their marinara sauce with breadsticks is watery now..."
"My friend and I used to ride our bikes there and play Pac-Man in eighth grade. Their breadsticks and sauce were amazing."
- KkdBaby
Small and Stale
"Whataburger is very hit or miss depending on the individual location. It was also better before it sold out and went national."
- HoovesCarveCrater
"It used to be so good, but it's so bad now. Earlier in the year, I went, and I got a stale bun with a tiny piece of meat they called a hamburger. Then I stupidly went again months later, and got the chicken sandwich. Both the bread and chicken were somehow stale. Never again, it's not worth it."
- user_base56
Belly Bombers, Indeed
"White Castle. I ate there once, and I now know what it feels like to reject an organ."
- flyzapper
"I have a stomach of steel when it comes to fast food. Not even Taco Bell gives me an above-average s**t. But when it comes to White Castle, some things just can't be saved."
- STILETTO_exists
A Rise in Poor Management
"Sonic used to be good."
"I feel for the two workers running the whole place. There used to be a lot of staff to handle the load."
"But now I feel bad going there simply because it's unfair to the workers. Which means corners get cut, things aren't clean, people aren't happy and workers end up catching the blame because there aren't enough of them."
"They really need to get it together. And treat their customers and employees right. It's going to kill their business."
- That_90s_Kid_
"The only Sonic near me stopped serving onion rings, which to me is their best side. And they take for-f**king-ever now to get you food, and half the time it's wrong or half-a**ed. I used to love Sonic, and I still want to and will go there, but every time it's a let-down in some form."
- SweetCosmicPope
"Sonic used to give their managers minority ownership as part of their compensation package. The result was highly motivated managers. Unfortunately, they had to work 80 to 90 hours a week. I thought about getting onboard with them but after using two weeks of vacation from my current job to work there, unpaid, I quickly decided smelling like French fries 24 hours a day, seven days a week was a very bad idea."
- the_beeve
A Series of Failures
"A bad KFC is tough to top, but there are still some amazing ones out there. The key is that it’s busy enough to have fresh chicken and a few employees that aren’t strung out. Not all. Just some."
"Burger King increasingly tastes like the burgers from my elementary school that sat in that weird burger water after being boiled in its own juices. I like their nuggets though."
"What even is Jack in the Box? It’s just some random assortment of food you take kids who can’t agree on what hot garbage they want to eat so you go here and make everyone unhappy."
"I’ve been to Whataburger once and it was bad, but since it’s crazy popular, I assume maybe it was just a bad experience and it was in AZ vs TX."
"I feel like I’m left with Little Caesars at this point, as the person buying those godawful hot and ready things is the epitome of a desperate person just trying to fill their children’s with ‘pizza’, thus the reason why there are any in existence."
- bowindine
So Real for This Answer
"Basically, every single one since the pandemic."
- MythicalMango123
"Dine-in prices for dollar store flavors."
- WannaBeTraveler87
"This is the answer. They are all awful now."
- chris1out
Especially for those of us who had the pleasure of experiencing these food places in the 80s, 90s, and maybe the very earls 2000s, it's terrible to think of how much these places have declined now.
As some Redditors have said, it's almost not worth going to these places anymore. We'd rather preserve the happy memories of going there with our families and friends rather than go for an unhappy meal now.
If it wasn't for our inner voices warning us about various life predicaments, who knows where we'd end up?
When a salesperson for a product works their charm to persuade us, our instincts may tell us not to rush into purchasing due to the suspicious quality of the product.
When a prospective date shows up in person and they just don't match the impression you got during the online interaction, your gut is telling you to back away.
But sometimes, the warning signs don't come from you.
Strangers online weighed in with their experiences about being tipped off whenRedditor asked:
"What is the biggest red flag you have come across?"
These Redditors discuss polyamory and how it may or may not apply to them.
About Unfaithfulness
"Used polyamory as a scape goat for cheating."
– Helix_On_The_Hill
"I have a friend who claims to be poly. Then she confessed to me that she and her partner hadn't had sex in over a year, supposedly because her prescription meds lowered her libido - so she declared to him she was asexual. Partner just apparently went with it. Last year we went on a group trip overseas, and she immediately f'ked a stranger she met. She told her partner, which made him pretty upset (and he didn't do anything about it other than bottle it up), and that caused some tension during the trip."
"She then explained to me that it's okay to be poly and at the same time refuse to have sex with your primary partner. She offered a compromise to her partner that she would see a sex therapist."
"I ended up biting my tongue (this person reacts badly to getting feedback) and lost a lot of respect for them as a friend, because of the way she treated her partner when it came to sex."
– monkeychasedweasel
Common Strategy
"My Ex used the 'poly so I can cheat' strategy twice because she was disinterested in me. I would go into more detail but I’ve mostly chalked it up to a learning experience, moved on and mostly forgot about it."
"The other thing is that I can be a very clingy person and that’s why the strategy was so effective."
– Helix_On_The_Hill
Updating Your Significant Other
"I decided I'm poly and we're in an open relationship, sorry I didn't tell you until after I cheated".
– anon
"I'm poly. Every once and a while (really only ever seen it online), I'll hear about someone 'coming out' to their partner as poly. Grosses me the hell out."
– petrasdc
Full Transparency
"I would figure that's something you'd mention pretty early on to a potential new partner. Not go 'This isn't what it looks like!' In the middle of things."
– Mike7676
Anger issue is all the rage.
Tipping Point
"I've said it here before on my old account, the biggest red flag is quick to anger. If their default emotion is anger, that's unhealthy. I'm talking about snapping over the smallest mistakes/things. Over the top anger reactions. Any volatile reactions that do not match the situation are huge red flags."
– Practical_Reindeer23
Relationship On The Rocks
"My partner got angry with me while I was having a moment of big overstimulation when we were at a concert, because I physically could not communicate (sometimes that freeze mode really takes hold) and he was trying to get me to leave, as his way of 'fixing' the situation. I at least shook my head no, because I was waiting on the band I wanted to see play, I just couldn’t physically vocalize. I was definitely very tense and was dealing with a lot of ticks, which isn’t normally how I get, but I was trying to handle it on my own, using tapping techniques and things. He got angry that I didn’t do as he wanted and that I didn’t vocalize a response, 'it’s not that hard when someone asks a question for you to answer.'"
"We’ve been together for 7 years and have gone through a roller coaster of changes/self development. But I exploded once I ended up giving in to his wants and leaving the venue."
"I don’t feel supported or listened to or validated, ever. Everything outside of his mindset doesn’t matter to him so why bother discussing anything."
"I hate it here."
– Virtual-Moment-9132
As if first dates weren't already nerve-wracking.
Dating Nature Boy
"The guy would ONLY go on dates in the woods at night. I’m not even kidding. I’d suggest a movie night or a restaurant I wanted to try but it was shut down immediately because he only did dates in the woods. Worst part is I went on 3 of them before I cut him off."
– PixelatedBats
Flashing Warning Sign
"I made out with a guy on a party. He told me 'I have to warn you: I'm really an a**hole.' I was pretty taken aback, then thanked him for the warning and avoided him for the rest of the night."
– skanus_cepelinai
Having Strict Parents
"She asked her mother for permission to eat meat. A 30 year old with a full time job."
– yumsilly
"I had a coworker who had a family tracking app on her phone, but it was her parents tracking her. She was 25."
"She thought it was normal or not a big deal. Her mom would flip out if she did something like go shopping at lunch or spend too much time at the gym."
"Apparently, her mom was super paranoid she was secretly dating 'inferior' men and not the ones she was trying to set up for her daughter."
– ohlookahipster
Year ago I met a guy who was super sweet at work, and there seemed to be a mutual attraction.
However, I didn't jump to pursue anything with him, especially after I found out through a mutual friend that we had conflicting interests.
He was into Nazi uniforms and paraphernalia.
I gradually started disassociating with him because I didn't need that in my life.
It just goes to show, you never really know about a person, even if everything else seems perfect about him.
Those living in the world's most well-known cities might be lucky enough to be in the vicinity of iconic landmarks, such as the Empire State Building, Big Ben, or the Golden Gate Bridge.
Then too, some people might live in a town that might not have any places that are popular photo ops, but have a distinguished legacy all their own, such as Salem, Massachusetts or Bentonville, Arkansas.
Of course, even if they don't make the travel guides or the history books, just about every city or town in the world has its own claim to fame.
Some that residents proudly promote, others that people hope never get any major attention outside of town lines.
Redditor Worried-Stable-9963 was eager to hear the biggest claim to fame of people's hometowns, leading them to ask:
"What's the most iconic thing where you live?"
Think Carefully Before Taking A Group Shop...
"Blucifer."
"The giant blue horse sculpture that killed the sculptor."
"It has shining red eyes and is NOT helping the DIA conspiracy rumors."- BeastmodeBallerina
"The [Place] Where It Happen[ed]"...
"Alexander Hamilton was shot in the famous duel in 1804, right down the street from where I live." - Reddit
Bibliophiles Rejoice!
"'Anne of Green Gables'."
"And potatoes."
"But the cruise ships of Asian tourists ain’t here for the spuds."- Blue_Moon_Rabbit
martin sheen marilla cuthbert GIF by PBSGiphyDoesn't Have Quite The Same Ring To It!
"A Golden Gate bridge that is orange."- CalGoldenBear55
Talk About Nickel And Dime...
"We have two actually."
"A Giant Nickel and the World's tallest Smoke Stack that I refer to as the world's tallest cigarette or 'dart'."- GrungusDnD
"My Kind Of Town..."
"The Sears Tower and Lake Shore Drive."- Acceptable-Yak7968
Beer Pong Chicago GIF by BPONGofficialGiphyFor Writer's Needing Inspiration
"Cannery row."- Zealousideal-Bug7138
"Driving there from San Jose is a nice drive through Steinbeck country."- kathatter75
The True Spirit Of St. Louis
"The Gateway Arch."- NowForMy2ndAct
"That’s the only thing here besides the Cardinals."- Andrew_The_Soviet
The Air Is Full Of Spices...
"Old Bay seasoning."- AlmostSane67
"Natty Boh too?"- i_love_ankh_morpork·
old bay japan GIFGiphyAll Roads Lead To Oregon...
"Mt. Hood, probably."
"Any part of the city with a bit of elevation you can look over on a nice day and see a snow covered volcano towering 11,000ft / 3350m over you."
"Doesn't quite compare to seeing Tahoma (Mt Rainier) from the Seattle area, but still cool."
"Also on a crystal clear day, driving north across the Saint John's Bridge, you can see Mt Hood, Mt Adam, Mt St Helen's, and Rainier all at the same time."
"Also the Portland 'White Stag' billboard."
"Hard to miss that one."- Beekatiebee
How Many People Run The Steps, But Don't Go In The Museum...
"Rocky steps."- Bulky_Ad_3608
"I was more impressed by imperfect love when I visited."- Brok3n_wind
He's Out There Somewhere...
"Mothman."- Deputy_Beagle76
"No recent sightings that I know of."
"But Point Pleasant does have a yearly Mothman Festival that’s really popular."- Deputy_Beagle76
GiphyTake Flight...
"Birthplace of the Wright Brothers, Air Force base, uhhhh."
"Yeah."- carolinethebandgeek
Don't Forget Your Beignets...
"Bourbon Street and Mardi Gras."- The_Pug
Jolly Old England!
"I live in the oldest town in England."
"We have the oldest church in the world."
"My house dates to the 10th century."
"Come at me bro."- schnitzelvk
World Cup Football GIF by Manne NilssonGiphyEvery town and city in the world will be remembered for something.
Even if some might only be remembered by its residents.
About 10 or so years ago, my brother got really into the Illuminati. He spent hours reading and researching and knew everything about the Illuminati. He could recite lectures when asked. I used to tease him about being a conspiracy theorist.
Then, I met a new friend of his. My brother and his friend bonded over their obsession with the Illuminati, but I never teased my brother again. That's because, after meeting his friend, I realized I had it easy.
My brother's friend constantly talked about the Illuminati. He'd find a way to bring every conversation back to the Illuminati or relate every action or word of the Illuminati. My brother only talked about this when asked. His friend didn't even need the slightest prompting.
That was when I first learned that people who are really deep into conspiracy theories show signs that they're deep into it. I'm not the only one who knows this. Redditors know that there are signs people show when they're deep into conspiracy theories and are eager to share what those signs are.
It all started when Redditor sheerduckinghubris asked:
"What is a sign someone is way too deep into conspiracy theories?"
No Tech Please
"An extended family-member-in-law keeps the Wifi router and all other TVs and communication devices, aside from their cell phones, in their house unplugged. If you want to use them while visiting, you have to ask permission, plug them in, then unplug them when you are done. They’re legit afraid of 5G and other radio waves on their physical and mental health, and seriously believe that” the government” is listening and tracking everything they do."
"I always remind them that “the government” is literally other humans that you can interact with, possibly your neighbors that sit on elected and voluntary boards and councils, and not some arbitrary anonymous “the government” entity."
"Them: But but “they’re” poisoning our water!"
"Me: Who? You mean Bill, the director of public works? Let’s call and ask him."
"Them: You can’t just call “them.”"
"Me: Actually, you can, let’s call Bill and ask him if he’s poisoning your water, and while we’re at it, let’s call Tom the major and ask if he’s trying to mind control you."
– jklolffgg
Social Media Signs
"I have a friend from college who has gone down this route. My only reference at this point is the rants he posts on Facebook. But everyone starts out the same: "Facebook keeps taking this down and flagging it because they don't want you to know the truth........""
– CoolHandRK1
"I'm sure this friend has no problem with the cognitive dissonance of "private businesses should be able to do whatever they want" and "I'm being CENSORED by SOCIAL MEDIA.""
– HaveAWillieNiceDay
Too Far Gone
"I think when they start fearing 5G or saying the earth is flat/stop brushing their teeth...I'm good."
– unmistakably
"Wait what stop brushing their teeth?"
– notaveryuniqueuser
"I could be wrong but I think they are scared of fluoride."
– ConnerennoC
"yep. that AND they think their diet makes it so they don't have to brush their teeth. YOU'RE WRONG. I CAN SMELL YOU."
– unmistakably
"This reminds me of how Steve Jobs insisted that he didn't need to bath or wear deodorant because his fruitarian diet flushed his body of mucus so he couldn't smell bad, but everyone around him could smell how utterly wrong he was."
– lesbowski
Signs Of A Shot
"I have a buddy from college who lost his mind during COVID. Now he posts all sorts of weird things on FB. Any time anyone of note dies it’s, “I bet they got the jab! No one just DIES for no reason!”"
– Prsop2000
"I’m a funeral director and embalmer and I had a guy call me one day and ask if I had seen white threads in the blood of people who had died and gotten the Covid shot. MFer how the hell am I going to know if they got vaxxed or not? I had another dude tell me conspiratorially that he knew I was seeing the white threads in blood because other funeral directors had told him that. Uh no they didn’t."
– PsychoticMessiah
Check Out My Ride
"Stickers all over the car."
– harajukukei
"I’ll do you one better. Saw a white beater car with conspiracy theories written all over it in sharpie."
– Ct-5736-Bladez
"My neighborhood has one...I always give it a wide berth..."
– breakermw
Eels, Energize!
"They have conspiracy theories that you’re not ready for."
– Telrom_1
"Like throwing your used car batteries into the ocean so the electric eels can charge."
– One-Permission-1811
"Where do you think the electric eels get their energy from?"
– unsmartkid
Free Thinkers
"They wear a "Warning: Free Thinker" tee shirt to Costco."
– flibbidygibbit
"Ironically mass produced and bought by "free thinkers.""
– mr_remy
"They need a Costco card to shop at Costco. Doesn't that concern them? Why does Costco need to know their names and addresses and keep records of their purchases?"
– CoralSkinRot
Cheeto Hands
"When professionals like doctors and historians are lying but some rando on YouTube in his basement with LED lights in the background and Hot Cheeto cheese on his fingers is telling them the REAL truth about (insert topic here)."
– Late_Comedian_5269
Medical Quacks
"What I find even worse are the (very few, but loud) doctors and other professionals who fall down the rabbit hole and give a bunch of false information. They become a beacon to other nut jobs.
Which is crazy because these nut jobs have 0 trust in doctors but once they find a crazy doctor who shares their opinions, they suddenly trust that one specific doctor."
"The regulatory boards need to remove these doctors who spread harmful messages."
– DantesEdmond
"This happened with the "autism is caused by vaccinations" doctor. He was stripped of his medical license for the insane amount of damage he did with that campaign."
– agolec
"They often do strip them of licenses or whatever the equivalent is in what field they're in. The problem is that for many conspiracy theorists, that's simply proof that the "expert" is right and "they" are trying to hide it by attempting to destroy the person's credibility. Unfortunately, people can delude themselves into believing almost anything."
– CityofOrphans
It's Always Them
"They say something like "It's all a distraction. You see, they don't want you to know what's really going on.""
"Then when you ask them what they think is "really going on", they laugh and call you a "sheeple".
– BubbhaJebus
The Flat-Earthers
"When they install satellite dishes but don't understand how the satellites stay in space because the earth is flat."
"True story when I had satellite internet installed."
– Dijiwolf1975
Chicken Little
"They all have a look in their eye's that screams "the sky is falling". Hyper aware, anxious, paranoid, easily triggered."
– buffslens
Talk Talk Talk
"Don't worry, they'll tell you."
– FishAndRiceKeks
"Yes. And every video they post is from a dude sitting in a car. Just endless dudes in trucks and cars, that's who they get their news from."
– PreferredSelection
"I have a few friends who fell down the rabbit hole."
"The most tell tale sign is that it's literally all they will talk about. At all. Every convo you have? Back to conspiracies, Illuminati, QAnon, pizzagate, the elite, the NWO (not the wrestling kind...)... heavy fixation on Covid.... etc.. Every single one.
"Most of them sound VERY uneducated, but think they solved some master life puzzle. Some may be sovereign citizens."
"Another obvious one... I had one friend who ghosted me. I finally got a hold of him and asked him what's up and he said "well it's because you're a deep state spy.""
– BlackIsTheSoul
"There is this tour provided by this lady in Seattle visiting 90s Seattle music landmarks. It's typically small groups. Around 6 people when I did the tour."
"Most of them sound VERY uneducated, but think they solved some master life puzzle. Some may be sovereign citizens."
"In the middle of the tour, we stopped by a pub for a drink and just to talk. One of them was this US Army dude who tagged along with his wife. 3 minutes after talking about the places we just visited he started telling me his opinion on how certain events like 9-11 were actually perpetrated by the government."
– muthaflicka
"I nodded, and immediately got up and told him I wanted to check out the album covers being displayed on this wall."
"He was around 30-ish, fit, looked sharp and smart, and spoke eloquently about other things. Caught me off-guard."
– muthaflicka
"This is the answer."
"Most of these people have zero self awareness and will reveal themselves pretty early lol."
– nsfwtttt
Yup, that's the biggest sign (and the one my brother's friend gave me)!