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If there were any moments of levity came out of the last year, it most surely was mic fails during Zoom calls.


With the rise of teleconferencing for business meetings or interacting with friends and family during a time many of us were forced to be in self-isolation, there was quite a learning curve to get used to.

One of the typical foibles of Zooming is forgetting to mute the mic when it matters most.

Curious to hear embarrassing anecdotes from strangers online, Redditor ElectroIsland asked:

"[Serious] What was your worst 'Oh sh*t I forgot to mute my mic' moment on any zoom meeting?"

We Don't Object

These are things one would never hear in a courtroom.

Oh, Expletive

"Attorney here - when I literally said 'sh*t' while getting off a court call."

"ETA: to be clear, this was audible to the judge and all other virtual hearing participants."

ghostdogtheconquerer

Judged

"I'm a public defender and for the past year I've been doing court over zoom from the jail. It's pretty chaotic because we have my guys, the people who are out of custody at court, people appearing by zoom from home, private attorneys, you name it. Makes for a long day."

"I was in front of a judge who is very slow and deliberate and it became apparent that several of my cases wouldn't be called until after lunch. I turned from the screen and HOLLERED across the module, 'sorry guys, you'll have to come back after lunch. This guy is slower than death!'"

"I was not muted."

"After lunch, I made a sincere and abject apology on the record - 'your Honor, prior to the break I made a comment that was inappropriate and I'd like to apologize to the Court...' The judge was lovely and assured me he hadn't heard a thing. Everyone heard it. Mortifying."

madcats323

Game On

Gamers don't hold back in the heat of the moment. And we're here for it.

It's Your Move

"Was playing online Chess, since my teacher was idle. The opposite side in the Chess game was taking too long to move so I yelled 'Make a move you f*king bastard.' My mic wasn't muted."

Edexcel_GCSE

One Bad Shot

"Was playing 8 Ball Pool and was in final round of a tournament during Calc, screamed 'holy f*k I blow' after missing a shot. Got about eight texts from classmates and a nice laugh from the teacher."

AdministrationBorn69

Class Dismissed

"While in the call, i was playing league with half my class. I flamed one of them for stealing my well deserved kill all while being unmuted... everyone heard me and laughed, then the teacher simply says 'since some of you seem to be playing popular games anyways, let's end the meeting here' and he laughed."

"Good man, miss him as a teacher."

EchoRaze

When You Gotta Go

Urine trouble if you don't mute the mic on the way to the bathroom.

The Soothing Sounds Of Trickling

"I went to the washroom with my phone. I turned off the volume in my phone so i wouldnt listen to the class and mistakenly ended up unmuting as well. My entire class heard me peeing. 😥"

IndividualNegative92

When You Gotta Go

"Not so much forgot to mute as I just didn't think they'd hear it....."

"While playing ESO we were all just talking and one dude says, 'I'm sorry, is somebody peeing?'"

– Gotis1313

Academics

People seem to learn a lot more about their teacher or fellow classmates during remote learning.

Being Cute

"My wife and I have been taking a technical writing course at our university together. One day she was making comments on the Zoom call before class started and one guy started making comments along the line of 'Dannnggg that girl is cute! Man, [first name] [last name] I'll have to remember her. Oh, wait a second, was she married? I can't remember.'"

"Our instructor cut him off by saying 'Hey um, [name] we can hear you. Yes she's very nice. Yes she is married, but don't worry, [my name] is a kind person.' He was horrified when he realized his mic was on."

"To make matters worse, I was having problems getting my Bluetooth headphones to connect. They failed a bunch of times so I couldn't hear a thing but I was ticked at them. My video was on and I was staring at my computer with an angry expression trying to mess with the settings."

A_Hale

The Entertainer

"I was in the beginning of a zoom exam, and i didnt realize the mic turns of on immediately... So i was for about 5-8 mins singing sea shanties while i prepared all my setup, with about 350 people listening to me."

Martinio69ehehe

Belch It

"Teaching a class and I felt a burp coming on. Thought I could swallow it away or take a quick break and mute myself. Nope. Had to joke about it after while being embarrassed."

djac13

Trigger Word

"For some reason my lecturer said the word 'boobies' and I laughed super loud (I'm 29 years old) only to realise my mic wasn't muted. He then proceeds to call out my name asking if I had a question 🤦♂️"

thats_old_m8

No matter how hard people try, even the most efficient of us will inevitably slip and invite us into their uncensored thoughts.

But mic fails have long been around even before Zoom.

I won't name the show or the performer, but a fellow actor talked about how badly they wanted to take a p*ss after exiting a scene....on Broadway. Hey, it wasn't his fault he didn't know the sound guy forgot to turn off his mic.

I remember hearing the audience howling after the semi-serious scene. And it was awesome.

Image by Anemone123 from Pixabay

Life is hard. It's a miracle to make it through with some semblance of sanity. We are all plagued by grief and trauma. More and more people of all backgrounds are opening up about personal trauma and its origins. Finally! For far too long we've been too silent on this topic. And with so many people unable to afford mental health care, the outcomes can be damaging.

All of our childhoods have ups and downs and memories that can play out like nightmares. We carry that, or it follows us and the first step in recovery is talking about it. So who feels strong enough to speak?

Redditor u/nthn_thms wanted to see who was willing to share about things they'd probably rather forget, by asking:

What's the most traumatizing thing you experienced as a child?
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Image by klimkin from Pixabay

Being single can be fun. In fact, in this time of COVID, being single can save lives. But the heart is a fickle creature.

And being alone can really suck in times of turmoil. None of us are perfect and it feels like that's all anyone is looking for... perfect.

Now that doesn't mean that all of us are making it difficult to partner up. Sure, some people are too picky and mean-spirited, but some of the rest of us are crazy and too much to handle. So one has to be sure.

The truth is, being single is confusing, no matter how much we try to match. So let's try to understand...

Redditor u/Mcxyn wanted to discuss some truths about love and our own issues, by asking:

Why are you single?
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Tiard Schulz/Unsplash

Whether you're an at home parent, a college student just leaving the nest, or a Food Network junkie, there are a few basic tips that everyone should know.

Chef's gave us some of their top tips for amateurs and beginner at home cooks that will really make a difference. They are trained professionals with years of experience in the kitchen, so they definitely know what we're all missing.

If you're looking to improve some of your cooking skills and techniques, but you're still learning how to boil water correctly, this list is for you.

Redditor BigBadWolf44 wanted in on the secrets and asked:

"Chefs of Reddit, what's one rule of cooking amateurs need to know?"

Let's learn from the masters!


What a common mistake!

"A lot of the time when people add salt to a dish because they think it tastes flat, what it really needs is an acid like lemon juice or vinegar."

- Vexvertigo

"Instructions unclear I drugged my dinner party guests and now they're high on acid."

- itsyoboi_human

"Yes! Or tomatoes. They're pretty acidic too and go with so many things. Our dinners are so much better once the garden tomatoes are ripe. Or if a dish is too acidic, oil/butter or a little sugar can help add balance to it."

- darkhorse85

"Like tomato and eggs. Every Chinese mom makes those slightly differently and I haven't had a tomato egg dish I didn't like yet."

- random314

"There's a book called 'Salt Fat Acid Heat' that comes highly recommended to amateur cooks."

- Osolemia

"Reading even just the first chapter about salt made a lot of food I cooked immediately better, because I finally understood salt wasn't just that thing that sat on the dinner table that you applied after the meal was cooked."

- VaultBoy42

"Salt is important for sweets. A batch of cookies without that little hint of salt doesn't taste quite right."

- Osolemia

Unfortunately, this tip might not be accessible to everyone. Many people who contracted COVID can no longer use their sense of smell the way they used to.

"Have a friend that lost his smell from COVID, and now he only recognizes if food is salty, sweet, sour or bitter."

- AlphaLaufert99

"Just wait until he gets his sense of smell back and a ton of foods smell like ammonia or literal garbage now. Yeah, that's fun... It's been 7 months for f*cks sake just let me enjoy peanut butter again!!!!!!!!!"

- MirzaAbdullahKhan

You can't take back what you've already put in.

"You can always add, but you cannot take away."

- El_Duende666

"I find people's problems usually are they're too scared to add rather than they add too much."

- FreeReflection25

"I see you also grew up white in the mid-west."

- Snatch_Pastry

Safety first!

"Not really a cooking tip, but a law of the kitchen: A falling knife has no handle."

- wooddog

"I'm always so proud of my reflexes for not kicking in when I fumble a knife."

"If I drop anything else, my stupid hands are all over themselves trying to catch it (and often failing). But with a knife the hardwired automatic reaction is jump back immediately. Fingers out of the way, feet out of the way, everything out of the way. Good lookin out, cerebellum!"

- sonyka

"Speaking of KICKING in. On first full time cooking job I had a knife spin and fall off the counter. My (stupid) reflex was to put my foot under it like a damn hacky sack to keep it from hitting the ground. Went through the shoe, somehow between my toes, into the sole somehow without cutting me. Lessons learned: (1) let it fall; (2) never set a knife down close to the edge or with the handle sticking out; (3) hacky sack is not nearly as cool as it could be."

- AdjNounNumbers

"Similarly, NEVER put out a grease or oil fire with water. Smother with a lid or dump baking soda in there (do not use flour, as it can combust in the air making things worse)."

- Metallic_Substance

How else will you know it tastes good?

"Taste the food."

- OAKRAIDER64

"Also don't be afraid to poke and prod at it. I feel like people think the process is sacred and you can't shape/flip/feel/touch things while you cook them. The more you are hands on, the more control you have."

"No, this does not include situations where you are trying to sear something. Ever try flipping a chicken thigh early? That's how you rip a chunk out of it and leave it glued to the pan until it's burnt."

- Kryzm

Here's one just for laughs.

"When you grab a pair of tongs, click them a few times to make sure they are tongs."

- Kolshdaddy

"People really overlook this one. You've gotta tong the tongs a minimum of 3 times to make sure they tong, or else it can ruin the whole dish."

- BigTimeBobbyB

If you're looking to get into cooking or to improve you technique, pay attention to these few tips.

Salt generously, add an acid to brighten things up, and don't forget to taste your food!

If all else fails, you can always order take out.

Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.

Victoria_Borodinova/Pixaba

As part of the learning process, children often do embarrassing things before they learn a little more about the world and all the different implications therein. While the inappropriate moment is usually minor and ends in laugher some instances are truly mortifying.

One such instance involved a little sister who was around 6 at the time. It was the 90s and at the height of the youth-focused PSAs (think the frying egg representing your brain). One type was a safety PSA about stranger danger. The speaker would remind the children that if a stranger tried to take you anywhere to yell “Stop, you're not my mommy/daddy" to raise the alarm.

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