People Break Down The Worst Mistakes Someone Can Make In Their 20s
Once people graduate from high school, a lot of them know what they want to do career-wise, but they may not totally know where they want to go or who they want to be.
And while the twenties are the time to figure that out, there are some ways that people can really mess up their future if they aren't careful about how they spend their time.
Redditor KadduUltimate asked:
"What is the worst mistake one can make in their 20s?"
Know Your Worth
"28-year-old here. Best advice. Learn to actually enjoy your surroundings."
"But the absolute best advice I can give. You're an adult now. You are allowed to make boundaries and stick to them. Unhappy with something? Leave or fix it. I gave up way too much time feeding into useless issues."
"Oh, and smile more. People seem to like people that smile."
Think Through Parenthood First
"Having a kid."
"As someone who didn't have kids, and watching my peers growing up and the lives they lead and how hard they have it... wait forever. It's bliss. Plenty of money left over for savings, retirement, and vacations."
Learn How to Invest
"Not the worst mistake, but if you haven’t yet, open a ROTH IRA and start contributing… compound interest is a thing."
"Spend time with your parents while they and you are young! Don’t get so caught up in doing absolutely everything all the time that you forget the people who got you to that point. They, too, are racing time."
Watch Out for College Debt
"Do not incur a mortgage-size debt in college tuition."
"You might be forced to continue taking classes to keep from starting the payment clock., while you also incur more debt. Also, you can't use bankruptcy to remove it."
"Instead, learn a trade: bring trade schools back. learn more about who you are and what you are interested in before taking on another lifetime commitment thing the boomers screwed up for us because 'screw you, they got theirs.'"
Watch Out for ANY Debt
"Credit card debt. Took us forever to get everything square after many dumb decisions and opening of multiple cards in our twenties."
Expensive Items Don't Bring Happiness
"Signing a commitment for a high-priced place to live or car."
"Too many young kids believe they deserved fancy and nice, especially to impress others, and they end up scraping for dollars because of it."
Giving In to Societal Pressure
"Thinking they have to start their whole life and career and be a homeowning family by 30... or be viewed as lazy, or my personal favorite, as 'wasting their potential.'"
Love Doesn't Have to Be Rushed
"You and your partner are going to change so much between age 20 and age 40, neither of you will be the same people, and divorce is almost guaranteed."
"Wait until you're done with school and/or established in your careers."
"Brush your teeth guys! And floss! The money needed to fix teeth is staggering in most places. Not even just the US!"
"Brush and floss twice a day! You'll be so thankful you did!"
"Going to jail. Don't break the law, kids."
Life Continues After Your 20s
"Thinking you’re supposed to peak in your 20s creatively, emotionally, sexually, and professionally."
"My 30s were when I learned that my 20s didn’t define me. My 40s have been f**king incredible. Hang in there."
"Actively neglected my health in my 20s to maintain employment. Now my knees and elbows crack very loudly and it hurts when they do."
"Also, not all wounds are visible. I thought I was perfectly fine when I was 22. I thought everything was temporary. Holy f**k was I wrong."
Don't Forget 'Back to the Future' and 'The Terminator'
"If you're a kid, the time cops will let you off with a warning, but as soon as you're older, any fluctuation in the continuum gets you 8 cycles in the penumbra."
"In your 20s, you're just not going to have the intuition to avoid causing ripples. Just wait until you're 30 and your chrono-mentor approves you for your first jaunt."
It's Not an All-Or-Nothing Situation
" I think it’s important to remember that even if you screw up and make some bad choices in your 20s, you can still recover."
Just like how some people think that high school is the ultimate time of their lives, others feel this pressure for every important detail of their life to take place in their twenties.
But the twenties are just the years where people figure out who they are and set the stage for the rest of their lives. They should be lived responsibly and safely, but they don't have to be taken seriously all the time, either.
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These days, rather than listening to music to calm their spirits or find a moment of peace, many people instead listen to podcasts.
Namely because, even if it was true crime podcasts like "Serial" which really got podcasts on the map, there is a podcast for just about everyone, on just about every subject.
Even if not all of them are quite as prolific as others, as just about anyone can make a podcast, even if they're not entirely qualified to do so.
There are some podcasts, however, which have such devoted fanbases, that they would encourage just about anyone to listen to them, whether or not it's on a subject which interests them.
"What’s a podcast actually worth listening to?"
"Friends, Romans, Countrymen, Lend Me Your Ears!"
"'History of Rome'."
"After the first few episodes where sound produciton isnt, great, its just like 200 epsidoes of incredible story of the rise and fall of the entire Roman empire."
"The dude knows his sh*t."
"Actively will call out his own mistakes during the following episodes when he is wrong (which isn't often)."
"He tells it in way better than any textbook."
"He almost never goes off the rails and talks about irrelevant material."
"And when he does, it's about baseball for like 4 seconds."
"He enjoys the topic and you can tell."- saturnsnephew
"'Well There's Your Problem: A podcast about engineering disasters'."
"I listen to one or two comedy podcasts but none of them make me laugh as hard or as proud sons of Philly and a posh British woman discussing engineering and societal disasters."- CaptValentineEngineering Rotate GIF by AirspeederGiphy
Laughing While Learning
"'No Such Thing as a Fish'."
"Funny while being somewhat educational."- _performer
When You Can't Make Book Club...
"This is kind of new - but check out 'If Books Could Kill'.”
"Two guys discuss and analyze bestselling nonfiction books that could use a good dissection- like 'Rich Dad, Poor Dad' and 'The Secret'.”
"Well researched and super funny and interesting."
"Love it."- SourKrautCupcake
Before You Click That Link...
"Darknet Diaries."- simiansamuraiinternet technology GIF by PsyklonGiphy
"'Old Gods of Appalachia' is a good radio drama."
"The way narrator speaks, you can feel the trees grow around you."- PotatoesMcLaughlin
Timely Doesn't Even Begin To Cover It...
"I am obsessed with 'This Podcast Will Kill You'."
"If you like the biology and history of diseases and illnesses, this is it!"
"The presenters are awesome!"- GibberishBanana2022
For History Buffs And Non Alike!
"Hardcore History."- ManNamedGray
"The History of Rome - Mike Duncan."
"The Rest is History."
"Hardcore History."- YallMindIfIJoinLearn Social Studies GIF by Awkward Daytime TVGiphy
Luckily To Be Heard, And Not Seen...
"99% Invisible."- andbosta
Before You Jump To Judgement
"'Behind the Bastards' is fantastic, but will question humanity."- azorianmilk
But Were "Right" To Listen
"I love 'You’re Wrong About'."- ResidentRepulsive·wrong chicken GIF by happydogGiphy
In Case You're Wondering How We Got Here...
"The Anthropocene Reviewed."- Ererr50
The Stories You Thought You Knew
"My all time favorite is 'The Film Reroll'."
"They take the basic premise of a film and play through the story as an RPG, allowing the choices of the players and roll of the dice to drastically change the story."
"Highlights have included starting a civil war in Oz, blowing up the moon in ET, and the GM tricking the players into thinking they were doing an obscure 80's teen sex comedy none of them had ever heard of only to spring Jason on them and reveal it was really Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter."
"Here are a couple clips for a taste:"
"The Cowardly Lion worries about what happened to Dorothy and Scarecrow when the party got split."
"Jafar fails a will roll and falls in love with Aladdin."
"They will sometimes do sequels to their previous re-rolls and those can get epic."
"Their version of the Halloween trilogy is my personal canonical version of that franchise to me."
"Danny Hodges is the greatest ascended NPC protagonist the movies never had."
"Currently they're doing Rogue Two."
"In their version of Rogue One, Andor, Jyn, and K2SO all survived so now their continued story is running parallel to A New Hope."
"I could go on and on about the running jokes, the great humor, the unexpectedly dramatic moments with real pathos, the wonderful personalities and absolutely world class acting and improv that goes into the show."
"I dearly love it and have listened to every episode at least twice, while some of my favorites have become go-to comfort listening and I've lost count of how many times I've re-listened to those."
"But I'll let ya'll discover all of that for yourselves."
"It's a true gem of a show."
"Some honorable mentions:"
"'Oh No! Ross and Carrie': They examine 'fringe science, spirituality, and claims of the paranormal' and 'show up so you don't have to'."
"They try alternative medicines on themselves, join cults, and investigate all kind of wild claims and report back their first hand experience."
"Yes, they have done Scientology."
"You might be surprised at how far into it they got before they were found out."
"'Monster Talk': a show that looks at Fortean phenomenon from a skeptical perspective."
"Never cynical or simply debunking, they engage with every topic like there could be some merit until they find that there isn't any."
"Good research and even worse puns."
"'In Research Of':"
"A sort of spin off form 'Monster Talk', they watch every episode of the classic Leonard Nimoy series In Search Of and "present some explanations that the producers chose not to present'."
"One of the co-hosts is an Archaeologist, and it can be a hoot to hear him go off on ancient alien and Graham Hancock type sh*t."
"'Another Path:' A D&D 5e Actual Play podcast."
"They had a pretty epic campaign that I'd recommend for fans of 'The Adventure Zone'."
"They recently started a new one with new characters that doesn't require listening to the old one, although the old one is well worth the time."
"Imprinted Echoes: A Numenera actual play podcast."
"Has some neat sci-fi concepts in it and I love the crew playing it."- charlesdexterwardZooey Deschanel Movie GIFGiphy
There is truly nothing more transporting than a good story.
Be it a variation of something familiar, or a deep dive into something you knew nothing about, a good storyteller will have you captured from the minute they uttered their first words.
People Break Down The Best Pop Culture Easter Eggs They've Ever Seen
Easter eggs are those brightly colored festive decorations and treats hidden for the Spring holiday.
Well, yes, but they aren't just that.
According to the dictionary, an Easter egg is also:
- in digital technology, an extra feature, as a message or video, hidden in a software program, video game, DVD, etc., and revealed as by an obscure sequence of keystrokes or commands
- in movies and television, a hidden message, as a cryptic reference, iconic image, or inside joke, that fans are intended to discover in a television show or movie
Redditor akumamatata8080 was referring to those alternate definitions when they asked:
"What was the best 'Easter Egg' you’ve found in any show, movie, video game, etc...?"
Ringu (The Ring)
"Within the DVD menu of 'The Ring' you can watch the cursed video footage."
"The best partwas that it disables the DVD controls, forcing you watch the footage."
"(But I guess you could yank the power or shut off the tv...)"
"Better/worse, if you do watch it then the DVD menu will also play the sound of a ringing phone right after you've finished watching it."
Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, ...
"Community. They mention Beetlejuice and on the third time he actually walks by in the background."
"Might i add they say beettlejucie over several seasons. Then yes the third time he can be seen in the background"
"In The Dark Knight, Bruce Wayne drives a Lamborghini Murcielago."
"Murcielago is the Spanish word for bat. He was driving a batmobile the whole time."
"I was young but the original Duke Nukem 3D had a secret where you found the guy from Doom impaled on a spike and Duke quips 'Damn, that’s one doomed space marine' - young me thought that was the most clever thing ever"
"All the YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE messages in hidden areas were great, too."
"I've had a lot of fun finding the little snail that waves to you from every episode of Adventure Time."
Metal Gear Solid 3
"In Metal Gear Solid 3 you can kill a guard in a certain area with vultures, after which a vulture may start eating him - and then you can kill and eat the vulture yourself."
"After this there's a boss fight against The Sorrow who forces you to walk past all the people you've killed throughout the game, one of them being that guard who repeats over and over 'you ate me, ate me, ate me'"
"My favorite one is also in MGS3. If you get captured by The End you are put in a jail cell. If you save and quit the game there and then load it again, a completely different game called Guy Savage will load up. You play it for a few minutes and it eventually stops with Big Boss waking up from his nightmare."
"This happened to me the first time I played it and it confused the hell out of me. I thought I put the wrong disc in the PS2, and then thought 'Wait, no, I just loaded the game... What the hell is this??'"
So Much Monty Python
"Found Holy Hand Grenade from Monty Python and the Holy Grail in Fallout"
"In witcher 3 you come across the entrance to a cave littered with bones and body parts covered in blood."
"And a cute little White bunny outside."
"Wasn't also a holy hand grenade in Worms? I always thought it was a reference to Monty Python as well"
"Yeah, sings "hallelujah" and then a big explosion. Spent so many hours blowing up my friends with that."
"In Fallout 2 I'm pretty sure there's an encounter with the bridgekeeper"
"I always found the Minecraft easter egg in Borderlands 2 pretty cool. They added Creepers as an enemy to fight and they all had a chance to drop special minecraft themed guns and cosmetics. IIRC there was a shotgun that shot the minecraft fire "block" in a 3x3 pattern and a sniper that just shot minecraft arrows."
"Doctor Who: in episode "Face the Raven", there is text on a wall written in Aurebesh, the lettering system from the Star Wars universe. When translated into the Roman alphabet, the text spells "Delorean", the model of car famously used as the time machine in Back to the Future. These two worlds represent time and space, the fundamentals of Doctor Who."
"In the live action version of 'The Jungle Book', Mowgli enters the hall of King Louie and is amazed at the heaps of trinkets the monkeys have been stealing from the man villages. He casually picks up the top item from a heap - a cowbell - looks it over, and puts it back."
"King Louie was voiced by Christopher Walken."
The funny part is that I didn't even notice until my 8 year old son, upon hearing the name of the voice actor, remarked, 'oh, the cowbell guy?'"
"Hotel Guest: (on seeing Nate and Chloe coming out of the ocean) Whoa! What the hell happened to you two?"
"Nathan Drake: Fell out of a car that fell out of a plane."
"Hotel Guest: Huh. You know something like that happened to me once."
"The hotel guest was Nolan North. The voice of Nathan Drake in the Uncharted video game series."
"It’s not exactly the most creative or anything, but I loved the episode of Friends after Courtney Cox and David Arquette got married when she was first credited as Courtney Cox Arquette the rest of the cast was credited as Arquettes as well.
"This is minor, but I remember it making me laugh when I saw it."
"In Drillbit Taylor, when they're interviewing potential bodyguards, Adam Baldwin (Firefly, Full Metal Jacket, and some others) makes an appearance and says that hiring a bodyguard to protect them from a bully was the stupidest thing he's ever heard of. He was in a 1980 movie (that I saw several times as a kid) called My Bodyguard, where he gets hired to protect a kid from a bully."
"I watched the movie in a room full of people born in 1980 and after and felt pretty old laughing at it."
"Just remembered another one: in the game Heretic, which was an FPS put out by id software, it would punish you for trying to use the famous cheat codes from Doom. If you put in the God mode code it would kill you and if you put in the code to get all the weapons it would take all your weapons away. For both it would display a message on the screen taunting you for trying to cheat."
"I’m sure a lot of people know this one but, in Skyrim as you’re making your way through Skuldafn, in one of the fireplaces, you can find a potato with a boiled cream treat and some pieces of charcoal, made to look like PotatOS (GLaDOS in potato form)."
"I'm actually close to going to Skuldafn on my most recent playthrough, so I'll have to look out for that."
"Another Easter Egg that I'm sure is even more well known, but might as well be mentioned for those who still haven't heard... is that at the very top of The Throat of the World, there's a Notched Pickaxe embedded in some rocks that has a unique enchantment that adds +5 to the smithing skill. This is an obvious reference to Minecraft and its creator."
Easter eggs may not be part of the main story of a piece of media, but they can definitely increase audience enjoyment.internet what GIFGiphy
People Describe The Most Expensive Mistakes They've Ever Made
We all make mistakes.
It's an unfortunate part of life.
But some mistakes are worse than others.
Some blunders can be extremely expensive.
Redditor dewan_art asked:
"What is the most expensive mistake you have ever made?"
"Wouldn’t budge from $62,500 for a downtown loft. Owner wanted 65k."
"Unit sold for $275,000 1 year later."
"Same backed out of buying a house for about $400k about 10 years ago, now worth about $3 million."
"For me, grad school. Realized I went for the wrong reasons about half way through the courses and decided that I should keep going so I wouldn't waste any money."
"I had a hard realization a few months after graduating that I could only survive paying my loans back and not thrive. I relocated to the oilfield and have been working a niche job of a niche blue collar job ever since. After working in Temps from -43f to 105 I can finally say that I paid off my loans."
"The old sunk cost fallacy. Seems to be wired into our DNA as a species."
"Getting day drunk with a friend to celebrate me getting a new job, the day before I started the new job. Decided to go for a walk, blacked out when it started raining."
"Woke up in the hospital handcuffed to a bed with a felony charge for assaulting an officer because apparently I fell asleep under a storefront to get out of the rain and kicked the cop who tried to wake me up in the shin, so he did the cop thing and slammed my face into the concrete while he handcuffed me."
"Had to pay thousands of dollars in attorney's and other legal fees to get the charges dismissed, went to my first day at my new job with a cut-up face that I had to figure out how to explain, and now I'm stuck at that job because despite it being dismissed, the charge still shows up on background checks so nobody else will hire me, and I can't get it taken off my record until it's been 8 years because it's a charge for a violent offense against a police officer."
"Yeah, I don't drink anymore."
"Trusting a moving company...cost me $1000, was a straight-up scam. The grand was my down-payment on a contract that accounted for all my stuff. A guy from a different company showed up and wanted a new contract with an extra ridiculous charge for my gun safe, and when I turned basically a random person away BECAUSE I HAD NO REASON TO BELIEVE WHO HE WAS, the first guy stopped answering calls, claimed I turned away service, and kept my down-payment on those grounds. Their company said "yep" and my bank couldn't get the money back on a fraud claim. I fully believe that if I'd let the 2nd guy take my stuff, they'd have extorted me for thousands of extra dollars."
"Mitch from Roadrunner Movers in Florida is a giant piece of sh*t, and I hope he loses an equivalent to what he's stolen from people."
"In my first real move after residency the company tried to hold my stuff hostage for double the money. Luckily most of the stuff we had was crap and I told them to keep it and I’d see them in court. They miraculously were able to cover the 'overweight fees'"
Not A Glitch
"I was around 8 when I thought I discovered a cheat/glitch that gave me unlimited gold in a mobile game. Turns out I was just buying the gold with money.. I costed my family $800 that day."
"Not paying my car insurance on time. Then proceeding to slide through an icy intersection and hit another car. No one got hurt, just my wallet. Almost $7000"
"Was troubleshooting an windshield de-icing test set used for F/A18's and had made an error in my set up. The error caused me to fry a non-procurable circuit card; leading to the entire test set, which was around $180k, to have to be replaced."
"Made a calculation error at work during my first few months there which led to the firm undercharging ~$130k on a project...how I wasn't fired/written up I'll never know"
Should Have Gotten The Insurance
"Didn't get insurance on a Polaris Razor. Side by side off roading vehicle. Had it less than 3 weeks and someone stole it from my driveway Christmas night. Had taken out a loan for 5 years.... Making the payment every month hurt knowing I didn't have it anymore."
"Only took it out once. 14k for the trailer and vehicle. Still hurts a decade later."
"Signed onto a mortgage with my ex when I was 21 because he 'just needed a little signature, it’s not a big deal!' Spoiler alert….. it was a very big deal."
$13 Million Wrench Drop
"Not me thank God, but a new hire I fired his first day out of training for 3 safety violations. The last involved dropping a wrench from 100 feet up on a work platform onto the left OMS pod of Atlantis. 13 million in damages and inspection/launch countdown time lost. Xrays, borescopes, replaced the cracked tiles, etc."
Gotta Turn The Freezer Back On
"At my old job, I forgot to turn back on the freezer after cleaning it (I got pulled mid clean to go do something else) so I didn’t notice. Neither did my three managers."
"Over $10,000 in frozen product lost 🤷🏻♀️ but that place was the worst place I’ve worked so f**k Freddys Frozen Custard"
"Freddy's defrosted custard"
"I transferred $500k to the wrong vendor."
"I practically had a heart attack, but the 'wrong' vendor was another huge one so it was more like we paid an invoice a day early. Also, my boss was more in a 'everyone makes mistakes mood' and not her usual 'I'll yell at you for 30 minutes over a one penny error' mood."
"I destroyed a $250,000 laser by shorting the capacitor bank (charged 50,000 V) to the control electronics (5 V)."
"Flash of white light, instant smell of ozone and burnt plastic, a bunch of smoke, and that was that."
"I shorted 65vdc to the 5v bus one time but only did about $8k in damage. That was an awkward phone call to make."
Not Buying Bitcoin
"My cousin works in finance and has been interested in investing since he was like 10 years old."
"When we were both fresh out of college (2009) I asked him what he thought about investing a bit of some money I had come into in bitcoin, which was $1 per coin at the time."
"He talked me out of what would potentially been over $100,000,000 in profit, assuming I had cashed out at the peak. I still rib him about it."
Mistakes happen, that's a fact of life, but let's all hope none of ours end up being the expensive kind.
When it comes to romantic relationships, especially when marriage is talked about, it's good for the two people in the relationship to share similar values, principles, and beliefs.
Maybe you discuss whether or not you want children, and if so, when. Maybe you'll talk about how to split household duties or whether or not to combine finances. And of course, you'll talk about religion.
Religion can play a large role in life for people of faith. The rules or recommendations of their faith help them to decide what's right and wrong, what to do in any given situation, and maybe even how to raise kids.
However, if one partner is religious and the other is atheist, it can be difficult to find a middle ground. It's not impossible, but it may not always be easy.
Atheists on Reddit know this first hand, and have shared what their relationship is like with a person of faith.
The stories were as diverse as religion itself.
It all starte when Redditor Actual_Sprinkles1287 asked:
"Atheists who married a person of faith, how is that going?"
Some people found it didn't matter, and their relationship was successful.
Good With Them, Bad With The In Laws
"With her? Great, it never really comes up, she does her thing (She's Christian), we agreed the kids get to make their own choices, and that we can both explain our faith, or lack thereof, when appropriate."
"Her parents, on the other hand... Just glad they live on the other side of the country. Was worse before we got married"
"Got an identical situation here but her parents are ten minutes down the road. I used to be a Christian. They don’t know I’m not, so that reduces friction."
"Had our 25th wedding anniversary last year."
"She's a member of a very liberal (even for Canada) congregation and I share most of their beliefs about things like how to treat other people, just not the supernatural stuff. She does her thing, I get to sleep in on Sunday mornings."
"Last sentence is relationship goals."
Heritage Over Religion
"Well, I am the non-atheist in the relationship, but it doesn't come up at all."
"I don't believe in an interventionist deity, so there really isn't a reason to discuss it."
"Since we are Jewish, my husband is fine with the kids going to Hebrew school because he wants them to know about our history, language, and traditions. That's why I want them to go as well."
"Mainstream Judaism is not very deity-focused and Hebrew schools mainly teach language, history, and about rituals and their meaning. Faith doesn't really come up, and everyone having their own way of doing things and believing is an integral part of Judaism. So, I am not worried about them becoming indoctrinated in that way."
"We both think that it's up to the kids to make their own decisions about theism and religion, and we should give them the materials to make an informed decision."
"Great! Sometimes I go to church with her, I like the content (be a good person, live simply, etc.) She believes all the science, she just also believes in some other stuff."
"My opinion is this: as a human you're going to have questions about life, the universe, and anything else. If a belief system answers those questions for you, great."
Perfect As You Are
"When we first met, I saw she was a "problem solver" by nature. She's religious, I'm not. I asked her early if she saw me as a problem in need of a solution. When she said, "no," I decided I'd keep seeing her."
"She still holds her beliefs, though perhaps not as strongly as before we met. We each know where the other stands, and we're both respectful of the other's views. She doesn't try to "convert me" and I don't try to change her mind."
"We're 13 years in, and doing just fine, I think."
Others found it impossible to remain married because of religious differences.
Keeping It A Secret
"My ex husband never acted religious. Not necessarily atheist, but didn't go to church, and never prayed that I was aware of."
"We hit a really rough patch and I wanted a divorce. I found a notebook (I wasn't snooping, I was cleaning and it was in a stack of random papers and whatnot) where he'd made some list of demands to save our marriage (laughable since I was the one who wanted out due to how he was treating me). I started to read it and one said "accept Jesus into her heart." I rolled my eyes just as he walked into the living room and freaked out that I had it and yanked it out of my hand. We never talked about it amd we did eventually divorce."
"Hmm. It seems like for him to not have expressed religious beliefs or convictions but desires for you to “accept Jesus into your heart”—according to this list of his—seems to suggest that there were some things about him that he kept secret from you throughout your marriage. Your hands are wiped clean of him now though!"
"Divorced. Don’t know what I was thinking."
Big White Lie
"Divorced for that reason"
"If you don't mind me asking, why did it only become an issue after marriage?"
"Because she lied about be religious, before marriage she said she was only acting to please her mom because she lived at home. And we would bring up any children without religion and they could chose when they were older. She lied."
Some people found that their partner's faith changed, or they even switched around who was a person of faith and who wasn't.
Hard To Keep The Faith
"She’s not Christian anymore. I never belittled or attacked her faith throughout the years. Between cancer taking her sister and simply aging, her belief slowly eroded away."
"This. I prayed for a few years for my husband to come to faith. After crippling mental health issues and having special needs kid, Now he believes in a god and I lost every ounce of faith I had."
Some people are still together but still find religion a topic of contention.
"Not swimmingly well. But we're hangin' in there."
Exhaustion Comes With The Topic
"I'm a person of faith who married an " I dnt believe in God but I believe in something"
"We love eachother but when this topic comes up it's so f*ckin draining"
"do you mind sharing why it's draining?"
"...well we talk a lot, as you can imagine that means the Convo often drifts to God. When we talk about God usually we end up also bring up past traumas and we both have a lot. I believe God gave me the strength to get through it, she believes she was abandoned."
"She also brings history into it too (where was he during slavery, holocaust)."
"and we never ever come to a conclusion we just move on lol start watching a movie or playing with the kids, maybe drinking and whatever comes with that."
"But sometimes the covos last a little longer than usual, we have never argued about this tho, but somestimes the convos can drain me mentally."
"Short version: it's like two walls talking when God is the subject."
A Bit Of A Strain
"This will probably get buried but anyway."
"My wife is Christian, Anglican in Church of England. They’re fairly liberal in their views and acceptance of what people believe, even within the church. So she doesn’t mind that I don’t believe in a single God, and the church isn’t as ‘firm’ in the UK as it seems to be in the US. So I’m not ridiculed or seen as a bad person by her or the church for my lack of faith."
"She studied to become a priest over the past few years and was ordained. I told her I would support her studying but I didn’t want to discuss God or religion with her in the way she debates with some of her other religious friends. I largely struggle with the idea that she believes something that is at odds with so much of what we know about the universe. The further down the religious path she goes, the more bitter I’ve become towards ‘religion’. (I can only see religions and The Church as a business these days, especially knowing the processes she went through to become a minister.) The values of the Anglican church are mostly good, but you can live that way without god in your life. I don’t see why religion needs to play a part of being a good person."
"In terms of how it’s been for our marriage, it hasn’t really been a factor for most of 25 years together. It’s frustrating that she usually wants to go to church on Sundays, which leaves me to do everything else that falls on Sunday morning (notably kids’ sports commitments). I’d also certainly say we have far less in common and have less to talk about these days than we used to. She bends every possibly interesting conversation back to religion or God, and I just want to enjoy chatting without it becoming a debate. But that’s the main topic of conversation she knows and pretty much all she reads. She reads a lot about religion and theology and ‘church’ has become such a huge part of her personality, and her biggest ‘hobby’ that she is much less interesting and has fewer passions or interests in life that she can share. It doesn’t leave much for us to discuss when I have no interest in religion and have become so bitter towards it."
"So no discussion of separation or divorce - we’re not miserable - but religion has more recently played a massive part in us having far less in common."
But ultimately, it seems people can make it work.
Love And Honor
"I'm still married after 30 years. She has her religious beliefs, and I support her as best I can. She doesn't push anything on me. When she wants to do her thing, I give her space. If I have to be involved, I just stay quiet and be respectful. It's not that hard to do. No need to hate someone because of differing beliefs."
What a great attitude to have!