You guys ever stop and take a long look at your relationship and suddenly realize you REALLY need an eject button? Don't sweat it, it happens to the best of us... aaand literally everybody in this article.
Personally, I once dated someone who habitually broke into my house to "surprise" me with gifts that I didn't want or like. Coming home to twelve dozen roses sounds romantic ... but it really hits a nerve when you have repeatedly explained that you don't like roses. That's especially true if that nerve is frayed because you have asked your partner repeatedly to not enter your home without you, you didn't give them a key, and you have no idea how they keep getting in.
It's hard to see something as romantic when it feels designed to remind you that your boundaries are meaningless, you're not safe in your own home, and your partner doesn't actually care what you like - only what they have decided you should like.
Reddit user Smokey asked:
What was your "Oh shit I'm dating a crazy person" moment?
So many reddit users have experiences with abusive, narcissistic, and just plain strange partners ... and that's to say nothing of the person who totally stole a car but didn't seem to understand why that was wrong because they were just "borrowing" it - without permission.
Speaking of cars, those of you curious about how things ended with the Rose Bandit ... when I broke up with him his mother tried to guilt my parents into paying her a few hundred dollars to cover the cost of breaking off some arranged marriage he allegedly had. Also, he airbrushed my name across the front of his car - months after we split up.
Yeah. That was a doozie; so are all of these stories.
When Dad Gets Involved
"Compared to the more hilarious things, mine is a little more serious and depressing. My first serious relationship was in college and at first she treated me well. After a while things turned emotionally abusive but me being naive and also easy to manipulate, I didn't see it. She turned me against a lot of my friends and family."
"Side note but important: my dad has been through some terrible relationships in the past including my mom. He's usually a very quiet person and usually lets me figure out my mistakes on my own."
"My real wake up moment was when I was on the phone having a fight with her, and she was literally berating me and my dad stomped into my room and shouted loud enough for her to hear "this is NOT what you deserve and she isn't worth it!"
"I left her about a week later once I was able to get all my sh*t from her apartment. When my calm, collected father gets involved I know something isn't right. She ended up getting into another relationship like two months after I left, and looking back on everything, she probably had some seriously unresolved PTSD from her childhood. I hope she got the help she needs, but I sure hope she isn't abusing her current significant other."
Fake
"He tried faking his suicide to get my attention. When I figured out he was leaving me on read after he was "turning off his phone to go overdose." (or whatever his method was, I can't be bothered to remember. I told him I knew he was faking and that he and I were over."
"He tried to apologize a week later, but I didn't forgive him. I thanked him for his apology and told him I didn't accept it, then stopped talking to him. Now I'm dating the best guy I've ever met."
- aolearyy
Pat Pat
"I realized it as I was sitting on the windowsill of the 2nd floor wondering if I would die if I hit the pavement."
"Thankfully, I snapped back to reality and realized that I shouldn't sacrifice my happiness for a manipulative douche that forces me to work while he had no job, clean his house, and made me do humiliating things ... like dry him off after he takes a shower. He insisted I try him by saying "pat pat" and patting him with a towel. He seriously got pissed when I told him I wouldn't do it anymore and said it was a sign that I loved him and he would think I didn't love him anymore of I didn't do it."
"I started planning my escape since my parents lived a 12 hr drive away. I told them to get me 4 months from the time I texted them because it would give me time to get out of there to a safe place and I would send the safe address to them when they were ready to leave and drive to me. I waited till he fell asleep 3 days before they would be there, threw all my stuff into trash bags and threw it off the back porch where a friend waited below with a van and I booked it. I shut my phone off for the next week and when I turned it on he asked where I was and I said far away from you."
Stitches And Shakespeare
"She ran after me with a knife and broke through a window on a door, cutting herself as I was trying to get outside and away. It was because I was playing video games instead of listening to her, if I remember correctly. My dad kicked the knife away and we got her to the ER."
"We were together for 6 depressing years. I was young and committed I guess. Moved in together for 4 of those and one day she randomly breaks up with me by writing a letter and leaving a copy of "A Midsummer Night Dream" and then completely ghosted me."
- Sinjhin
Dodging A Silver Bullet
Giphy"She legit thought she was a werewolf and broke up with me because Valentines Day was on a full moon, I didn't find out she thought she was a werewolf until after we broke up. My best friend knew the entire time but he "forgot."
"Her friends also thought they were really a fairy. There were more in their group but I forget what they thought they were. Pretty sure I dodged one hell of a bullet"
- Lynnatan
Hanging Out With Dad
"We were in the very beginning of dating. We were still getting to know each other and we had opposing schedules so we could only speak by text. We would speak every day and we got along great."
"I went to dinner with my dad one night and usually when my dad and I get together we talked A LOT which means I don't really look at my phone. About an hour into the diner I decided to check my phone to realize the person had texted me about 11 times asking me where I was, who I was with, why I wasn't answering him."
"I simply texted that I was sorry, but I hadn't seen my father in a long time. He was furious that I wouldn't tell him that and he thought I had left him for someone else. Needless to say I broke it off immediately after. I mean we had only been talking for about 2 weeks."
Highlander
"Dated a girl who was convinced that she was an immortal (Like the Highlander) and that she was a part of a secret society who "rode the lighting" and that she would show me her powers one day soon."
"So...I figured out that it was time to peace out ASAP and man; did it get weird and clingy for like 2-3 weeks."
"Definitely a yikes in retrospect lol"
A Wild Two Weeks
"When they tried to emotionally manipulate me into helping them indulge in their fantasies about urine and bestiality and then tried to convince me to run away with/marry him and let him get me pregnant."
"All of this happened within two weeks of dating."
Hmmmmm
"Was living in an east Asian country about 10 years ago"
"Used to hook up with this older woman from time to time. One time want back to her place and she said I could just live with her. Then she said since I was handsome she wouldn't like me going out, so I can just get my stuff and stay with her forever. Hmmmmmmmmm."
"Then she said, with full sincerity, that I could wear a little collar and just be like her pet. HMMMMMMMMMM"
Therapy
"I was struggling with anxiety/depression when I started dating this guy. We ended up living together and staying together for a few years. I guess in hindsight I would say we got together when I was at a very lonely/rock bottom sort of place."
"I would talk about wanting to try therapy and he would always tell me, "Therapy is stupid. You're just talking to some stranger about your life. You can just talk to me..." and other things of that nature. Therapy = bad. He should be enough to "fix" me."
"I did end up getting much better without therapy after finding financial stability through a job I enjoyed going to. However, we would always fight. He was basically the worst part about my life but he was very emotionally manipulative."
"My "A-ha" moment was when I was trying to break up with him and he wouldn't take no for an answer. He said he would work on himself, so I suggested couples therapy as a last resort. He then turned the tables on me and said... "Yeah... maybe you DO need therapy."
"Not us. Me. It just creeped me out. I could never put a finger on why the thought of "he might kill me" would pop into my head during fights. But something about the way he had held onto this weakness of mine for years and then threw it in my face was so calculated and narcissistic... I sometimes wonder if he was a psychopath."
Pennies
"We had gone out a few times and he was such a gentleman. He was really handsome and was always saying the right thing at the right time."
"I did see him turn red a couple times over insignificant things, but I thought it was nerves. No biggie."
"He kept a 32oz cup full of pennies in the cup holder of the car. I commented on it, he just laughed and said that it was his catch-all."
"One night we went out for a little bit and a few small things happened...like he hit his elbow, the waitress knocked over a glass nearby, a car passed too close as we walked, he dropped the keys trying to open the car... etc. Eventually his mood got worse and worse til he was boiling and driving like a maniac."
"Another driver made him mad, so my date quickly switched lanes to pass the car on the right. He then reached down and grabbed a handful of pennies and threw them at the other car."
"We were going 65 on a bridge."
Saved By Cysts
"As a bigger fella with not a lot of confidence, I never dated during my school years. When I finally started dating, my first relationship went fast. During 6 months, she moved in with me and my family, lost her job and tried to distance me from my family."
"After my parents asked us to pitch in for car insurance, she lost it shit and started talking really badly about them. I snapped. I finally broke up with her that night and kicked her out of my house."
"This is where I finally see the crazy part, strangers."
"She texts me that she's pregnant and she's going to sue me for child support unless I bring her back to the house and reinstate our relationship. This would have been terrifying for my 19 year old self as a college student with no money. But then I remember something she told me early in our relationship: She has cysts in her ovaries that make it impossible for her to get pregnant."
"Nice try."
Elite Child Militia
"This wasn't a date but it was a friendship. Had a classmate that I got along with fairly well and I had his number so I could get notes and whatever. We started texting back and forth and he starts calling me. It started innocent but got really weird really quick. We both have issues with depression and he said he was in a rough spot. Okay, yeah been there so I tried giving him someone to listen to."
"He started telling me about his time in this elite child militia that worked for the secret service. How he was dealing with ptsd from his trips to get biological weapons out of the middle east. He was an elite soldier apparently, taught in ninjustu and Krav Maga. He was a one man killing machine and his old captain was trying to get him back in the field."
"He freaked me out, started telling me I was the only person that understood him and that he could rely on me. He was seconds away from confessing love. Keep in mind, he knew I was engaged. I got off the phone, deleted his number and never contacted him again."
Kittens
Giphy"At an outdoor restaurant having a nice lunch by the ocean. Only 2 tables in the place. My BF and I are sitting across from each other chatting. Over his shoulder behind him 2 kittens begin to romp and play in the grass couple yards away. We continue our conversation but my eyes are drawn to the kittens, not ignoring him at all, simply not making eye contact. All of a sudden he slams his glass on the table making everyone in the restaurant jump and says, "Should I just have the bus boy come over here so you can sit on his lap?"
"Confused I asked what? He started yelling at me loudly about how I obviously couldn't take my eyes off the bus boy. I was shocked and embarrassed. I said "You mean the 60 year old guy bussing tables? Yeah call him over, I'd love to show him the 2 kittens behind you playing in the grass you jerk."
"I got up and left. I had driven us both there; he walked home fuming. It only lasted a couple more weeks after that and that was all spent planning my escape."
Grazed
"I dated a guy who lived about three hours away. We had visited each other's towns and as mature adults, this was an acceptable setup."
"Until he showed up in the middle of the day on a Tuesday (he had a m-f 9-5) and demanded that I pack my stuff and come with him because society was getting ready to collapse. I had horses and dogs and he told me to leave them behind because when the food supply went they would just be eaten anyway."
He told me he had a bunker prepared with three years worth of food, supplies and ammunition."
""I went into the other room and called the police to come and take his crazy *ss out of there. I ended up with a restraining order and I eventually moved because he wouldn't stop."
"I wouldn't say I dodged a bullet; I was definitely grazed."
- Holaroo
Satisfaction
"When they told me they imagined killing me. They wouldn't actually do it, but it brought them a sense of satisfaction. Not because I was driving them crazy, but because I was attractive to them."
Clearly
"I dated a girl for a month. I had a daughter on the way from a previous relationship. She knew this and was cool with it. Then when I posted a pic of me holding my daughter on Facebook, she flipped saying she couldn't be with me cause "it's clear I love my daughter more than her."
"I mean... she was right."
One Direction
"I dated this guy who clearly seemed insecure mostly of his looks after this situation. So, I was obsessed with One Direction at the time, in their fetus phase. I had posters all over my walls, even on the ceiling, a few in the locker, some on my notebooks, eh you get the point."
"Anyways, we were FaceTiming one night and he saw all the posters and started just going OFF about how they're "so much better looking than him", and "I love them more than him," and "you're probably gonna go marry them one day instead of me," or "you probably wish you'd lose your virginity to them instead of me."
"He then proceeds to demand I rip every poster off my wall and tear it up in front of him to 'prove my love' for him and if I didn't he'd 'kill himself'. He was bawling his eyes out, the kind of crying where it's like you have the hiccups and it's hard to breathe."
"I was shocked and when I refused to do the things he wanted me to do, he stood up and punched a huge hole in the wall next to his bed. At the end of the whole conversation that night, he said he forgave ME and then he loved me and acted like nothing happened the next day. He had/probably still has anger management problems to this day. I'm not sure if he's ever going to get help for it."
The Notebook
Giphy"When I was a sophomore in college I started dating a girl I met at a party. Anyway, one day she left a note book in my car. Curiosity got the better of me and I thumbed through it. It was filled with names of our future children, her name with my last name, and prices for engagement rings. I had know this 19 year old for a grand total of two weeks at this point."
All For Attention
"We dated for about 6 months before I broke up with him for hurting himself for attention."
"He would cut himself so deep that fat poked out and then show me. When he didn't outright show me, he would hint that he cut again "oh ouchhhh" *grasping arm* then would look at me and hope I noticed. When I would make him show me (to make sure he was okay, no infection etc) he would refuse and refuse but eventually give in and then crack a little smile while showing me."
"He'd do this kind of stuff for attention all the time. But I was so "madly in love" that I didn't notice. It hit me when he called me (FaceTime) and "tried to hide" that he had just attempted to hang himself. I realized this was all for attention right about that moment."
"I pretended not to notice the marks on his neck but he kept trying to find ways to flaunt them, like showing off collared shirts, leaning in close to button them. Applying lotion to the area, rubbing over and over etc. when I continued to pretend not to notice for like 45 mins he eventually got mad at me and told me that I wasn't giving him attention."
"That's when I went ballistic."
"I told him everything that I'd noticed ending with "I think it's time to end this, I'm breaking up with you" he told me that he'd kill himself if I broke up with him. I said "okay please don't do that but this is over" and hung up. Probably not a good idea in hind sight."
"After checking up on him through a mutual friend (he's fine) I learned that he had been cheating on me with someone I'll call P. Now P and him were dating. But now he's cheating on P with someone called D. He and P broke up and now he's dating D I have no idea if he's cheating on D or not but whatever."
"I talked to P and P broke up with him for the same reasons. I'm glad that ended and I wish it was sooner."
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
What are your dating horror stories? Let us know in the comments below.
Redditor Ecstatictobehere wanted everyone to vent about everything wrong with movies and Hollywood, so they asked:
"What pisses you off about new movies these days?"
I'm exhausted with the lack of originality.
There are too many talented out there for this.
Turn it down...
Race Fans GIF by Formula 1Giphy"The disparity in volume, explosions are so loud that they hurt and conversations are whispers... I stopped going to the cinema and started waiting for them to be available at any streaming service so I can turn it down or up and so I can enjoy it."
hollowntolerance
LOLs...
"Forced Comedy."
ThorHammerscribe
"I have a bone to pick with comedy in general. I felt that ever since the Anchorman era, we just decided that comedy movies were in the line of sketch comedy."
"Create funny situation, let a comedian riff for 20 minutes, take the best take and move on to next funny situation. Which is why comedy movie plots have SUCKED since the early 2000s."
"Sure I love Kristen Whiig, Will Ferral, John C Reilly, Mellissa McCarthy, etc, but damn, I can't help but think that some comedies that have come out int the last 20 years would be memorable if they wrote a funny script instead of making a 120 min sketch show."
ReferenceError
Appeal
"Most movies are getting watered down for the sake of mass appeal. I get why, but it just sucks."
Apprehensive_Set300
"Some say this is a result of streaming platforms. People used to be able to take risks on movie making because if they didn't do well in theatrical release, there was still a chance for it to become a cult classic and make money with DVD sales down the road. That is no longer an option because everything is streamed for free so now making a movie that doesn't immediately appeal to a large audience is a bad investment."
KrispyKremeDiet20
Lost in Translation
"Not just movies but TV shows - they take a book that's got great reviews, make a poor job of translating it on screen and then flip the ending so it's the opposite of what happened in the book. Proceeds to blame the audience when they pan it for being crap."
MissionSorbet2768
Blah
Bored Season 5 GIF by The OfficeGiphy"Lack of originality and a reliance on franchises."
811545b2-4ff7-4041
Enough with franchises and reboots. Lord.
Some light please!
jerry cant see GIF by HULUGiphy"How dark they are. Like literally dark. It's difficult to see what's going on, especially for those of us with vision problems."
Raloris
Break it Down
"For horror and mystery, everything having to be explained."
"A movie like the original Alien would be lambasted by online critics if it were released today, for the simple reason that by the end of it you know next to nothing about what happened. What was the creature? What was the derelict? Why did the company want it, really? The movie has stood the test of time precisely because it avoided answering those and other questions."
stratarch
Too Much Redo
"The overuse of cover songs. Recently been a lot of classic rock songs covered by an artist who recorded a slowed version of it. Just saw the trailer for the new Ant Man. It also does this."
bromygod203
"This has been bugging me lately. They do it in commercials too. The cover is slowed way down with a melancholic, reverb-heavy voice. Extra points if you take a classic 'happy' song and add minor chords to it so it sounds threatening."
fairygenesta
Too Many Cooks
"A lot of movies feel like they were written by a marketing department. It feels like they got 10 execs in a room and everyone wrote down ideas, characters, plot-points, etc that they know will sell - and then tried to organize them into a narrative structure."
"There's no vision. There's no plot progression. Its just one random event next to another random event, and characters delivering sh*tty one-liners. Like writing madlibs. Even B-movies from the 80's and 90's have better narrative structure and story-telling than half the new movies out today."
Ganglebot
Giveaways
Cybill Shepherd Applause GIF by SHE'S FUNNY THAT WAYGiphy"Trailers. They're always about 4 minutes long, give away the entire plot, show all the best scenes and jokes and basically ruin the movie before you've even watched it."
IJustStoleYourWaifu
Do better filmmakers.
We're watching. Sadly...
Redditor zabalansu wanted to know why we cheat, so they asked:
"Why did you cheat on your partner?"
I've cheated. Because I knew it was already over and I was too much a coward to admit it.
Bad Ideas
Tom And Jerry Reaction GIFGiphy"I was drinking and doing a lot of drugs... it honestly turned me into a careless piece of crap for a long time!"
Keone_710
You First
"I cheated once, and it was because she'd cheated on me. I'd already been cheated on before so it was like: 'Well: this time I'm getting revenge.'"
"I didn't feel any better. Made me feel almost as shi**y as I thought she was. She was angry as f**k, but I can't honestly say it was any different than any of the other gals that get pissed off when you break up with them. Haven't cheated since."
"If you're getting cheated on, don't demean yourself by sinking to their level. Just give 'em the boot."
JAHNOOSKA
Craiglist People
"Because I truly had no idea what a healthy or functional relationship looked like. My parents were married for almost 30 years and had already started the cycle of cheating on each other well before I was born. My grandma used to tell me stories of being friends with my grandpa’s girlfriends 'because she just wasn’t toxic and jealous like other women.'"
"In the relationship where I cheated, I was being treated like garbage. Financially supporting us both even though I was ten years younger and a waitress, enduring a lot of abuse from a very broken man. I felt trapped in the same cycle I had watched my mom and my grandma live, I didn’t really know better."
"A guy at work started paying attention to me, and I loved it. He was sweet and poetic and romantic, committed to helping his sister raise his niece, was out of the house and working instead of drinking my paycheck away and punching holes in my walls. A little harmless work flirting quickly escalated and before I knew it, I was having a whole a** affair."
"I started to prepare myself to leave my boyfriend for my affair partner, when I found out that my boyfriend had been cheating on me with anyone he could find on Craigslist (including stealing money from me to pay sex workers). Any guilt I felt for cheating evaporated right then."
"I threw all my clothes in a trash bag and drove to my affair partners house, ready to start our new life together. He had another girl over, basically admitted that a lot of what he had said to me was because he thought I would never leave. All in all, it was a mess. If you’re unhappy in your relationship, do the work that will either fix it or get you out. That new person is flawed too. They won’t fix you or fulfill you, only you can do that."
BeebMommy
"forbade"
"Because my wife told me that she was no longer interested in having sex with me, she didn't want me having it with anyone else, and she 'forbade' me from watching porn (I still did the latter, but we could never discuss it or she'd freak out.)"
"So to get my sexual needs met by someone other than myself, for several years, a few times per year I paid a sex worker for a happy ending massage. This was still cheating, but I rationalized it as the 'mildest form' of cheating possible. No chance of an STI, no chance of an unwanted pregnancy, no emotional involvement. I knew it was wrong, but at the time I felt like it was my best choice out of several lousy choices."
"I realize now I should have just said at the time, 'I want a divorce.' That's where we ended up anyway, and I would have saved myself, my wife, and our kids some needless pain over the years. By cheating on her (and hiding it from her), I made it so much worse when she eventually found out."
"To cheaters on here, I would say: get out of your relationship. If you're cheating, you're clearly not happy. Do yourself and your partner a favor and just end it now, before it all goes to hell."
DivorcingGuy1234
The Worst
maury GIFGiphy"Because I wasn't over my ex and when she came knocking I didn't value my new relationship enough and crossed a line I never will lower myself to cross again. You feel like sh*t for years after it, really not worth it no matter how you try to justify it to yourself at the time."
Secret_Guarantee_277
Getting over and getting under... all stressful options.
A Mess
Steve Harvey Reaction GIFGiphy"Drunk and being hit on by a bendy yoga teacher. Got caught in the same day. It was a sh**show."
Top-Pin-3520
In the Dark Place
"I came here to try and understand what goes on in someone's head when this happens because I've been cheated on sexually and emotionally. Instead I'm just left feeling sorry for the people in this thread. So many people in such a dark place pulling their partners down to an equally dark place. I hope everyone here that has cheated has grow and gotten help. And that they can pursue a healthy and fulfilling relationship after they've grown past that."
"For the people that have been cheated on, I'm sorry all of you went through that and I hope it never happens again. Sometimes it feels like something I'll never fully recover from and other times I refuse to let past hurts ruin the chance of something good happening. So I want the people who have been hurt by their partners cheating to know just because it's happened once doesn't mean it will again and good things can still happen for you."
UmbraofDeath
Rear View
"Because I was too chicken s**t to get a divorce because I was wildly unhappy and too proud to go to therapy to fix the marriage. So I cheated, got caught, and have since been to a ton of therapy and am getting a divorce. Even though I’m happy to have this relationship in my rear view, cheating is my life’s biggest regret."
RecoverSexAddict
That's messed up...
"This was me a decade ago. It was just one time. I had somehow rationalized if I cheated he could then just hate me. That would hurt less than me telling him I didn't love him anymore and I wanted out. He was a good partner, but I fell out of love with him."
"The latter would've been the honorable thing to do. He was going to be hurt either way! I was just doing mental gymnastics to justify my reasoning - really I just liked the attention that I wasn't getting at home. That's messed up. I worked a lot on myself and go to therapy. I'm a much better partner now, and I haven't done it since."
Ok_Adhesiveness_4321
Worthless
Will Smith Smh GIF by The Academy AwardsGiphy"Because she cheated on me first. I don’t ever recommend such a stupid f**king decision. It isn’t worth it, folks. I normally considered myself strong and stoic before that? I don’t have a foot to stand on now. It wasn’t worth it."
BBQSpareRibMoon
Bad Connections
"I felt an intimacy connection with someone which I’d never had before. In retrospect it’s one of the dumbest and stupidest things I ever could have done. It wasn’t at all worth what it has now become. I’ve lost my entire family and have no respect from the people that matter most to me. 10/10 would not recommend and would never do again. I lost it all for something that never even really mattered. I had it all in front of me, I just refused to see it."
WeCanWeWi11
Well, love isn't always forever and intimacy is something we work on every single day.
Do you have similar experiences to share? Let us know in the comments below.
