Dating and the search for love can be a treacherous disaster.
Even when you finally find someone to swipe right, you meet them and you wish they didn't even own a phone.
How do some people believe their behavior is appropriate?
Dates are meant to be fun and easy.
Not an episode of "Game of Thrones."
Redditorzippezwanted to hear about the times the love merry-go-round was a disaster. They asked:
"What was the worst date in your life?"
I can't even remember my last date. And I don't want to.
The First
Season 9 Wow GIF by Curb Your EnthusiasmGiphy"She had her luggage with her, and expected to move in with me (1st date)."
kavijak
16
"Went on a group date when I was like 16. There were 2 established couples and I was seeing a guy for the first time. We went to a bowling alley my date's friend worked at. The entire time this guy was trying really hard to show off and in general being a massive tool. I was sitting with my friends on the outer right seat in the row. Date's friend was standing about 3 feet to my right."
"My date went to toss the bowling ball to his friend because he was sooo cool and strong. He missed so hard that the bowling ball hit my left shoulder and my friend's right shoulder (we were sorta leaning into each other to talk), then fell on another friend's foot. He got 3 of us in one throw. He awkwardly apologized and then said he needed to use the restroom. Didn't see him again and went home with my friends lol."
Puzzleheaded_Storm79
Baffling!!!
"On the only date, he pointed to another woman at the bar and said that was his ex. This woman happened to be my lesbian roommate who was there with her girlfriend. So I called BS. It’s still hilarious how bad his luck was. Why would I be interested in someone intentionally trying to make me jealous by lying? Baffling!"
Grapegoop
Blacked Out
"I was meeting a girl at a bar by her school, which was an hour away. We planned on bar hopping all night and I would spend the night at her house. When I got there, she was already black out drunk and her friends just left her with me. Wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt."
"Maybe she was just nervous and would sober up a bit. But no, she was belligerent the entire night and almost got in several girl fights for bumping into everyone as she walked around. when I came back from the bathroom she was being passed around a group of dudes as she grinded every one of them."
At this point idk what to do. I wanna just bail, but she's blacked out with a dead phone. So I hung out on my own, made some new friends, waiting for her to party herself out. She did, I walked her home and she started to ball her eyes out when she realized I wasn't spending the night. I've never felt more awkward or embarrassed in my life."
SprinklesMore8471
Check Please...
Check Please Premiere GIF by Jersey Shore Family VacationGiphy"A guy took me out to dinner and excused himself to use the bathroom. Was gone for about 10 minutes. Found out the next day that he was actually in the parking lot having a quickie with the waitress, who knew a friend of mine."
Gardengoddess83
What in the world? I mean. And we still have more stories. Lord.
“ok I guess”
Happy Spring Break GIF by HBOGiphy"I had a very persistent neighbor who I finally agreed to go out with."
"I got to the restaurant and he had already ordered me a drink. He asked to order my food for me and I was like 'ok I guess.' He made comment after comment about my 'smoking hot' pale complexion. Asked me if my ex was circumcised. Told me that women who think they are equal to men are out of touch with reality."
"Wouldn’t let me pay half, so I asked to tip, but he told me the $20 I was going to leave was too much. I went to the bathroom and came back to a glass of wine that I’d already told him not to order. He texted me 15 minutes after the date saying 'with a woman of your complexion a man must be careful not to leave a hickey.'"
rapbattlechamp
not your babysitter...
"He told me we were going on a 7 mile out and back hike to go fly fishing. Turns out it was 7 miles of steep uphill to get there, we only fished for a few hours because we got rained out, when I asked for help he told me 'I’m not your babysitter' and farted the entire day because he ate a bean burrito on the drive over that morning."
"He also spoke to people we passed on the trail more than he spoke to me. The 7 mile hike back back downhill gave us both a ton of knee pain, and it was horrible. Worst part? It was the second date, because the first date was magical."
turtledovefarts
for practice...
"Not the worst date because there have been of course some that were legitimately scary but the most awkward at least. He spoke several languages and when I said I spoke a bit of one of them, he insisted that I needed to practice and kept speaking in that language even after I repeatedly and increasingly stronger terms said okay that was fun but let's go back to English now, we're in a loud crowded place and this is above my skill level."
"He kept agreeing and switching back but then switching to the other language again 'so I could get the practice.' He kept correcting my vocabulary too. And by the way this man started out by saying he was fluent in English but only advanced in this language, so it wasn't as though it was actually easier for him to speak it. I would have been happy to struggle through if that was our best language overlap."
deqb
THE. WHOLE. TIME.
"I'm sure other girls have scary dates that are much worse but here's my non-scary awful date... I told the guy on the site we met on that I was nervous when it came to dating so not to show up in a suit or anything. He showed up in a stained t-shirt and sweatpants with holes in them. It was a weird choice for 'casual' but he seemed interesting online so I stuck it out."
"I kid you not, he didn't stop talking about himself THE. WHOLE. TIME. I asked him a total of 3 questions and he asked none. He sounded like a preacher on a pulpit sharing his life story. Most uncomfortable, longest, date of my life. Needless to say there was no second date."
green_hobblin
I picked him up...
"First (and only) date. He shows up in smelly sweatpants and a stained shirt. I picked him up. We got to the movie theater and he had no money so I had to pay. Spent half the movie insulting me and the other half trying to grope me. All of that wasn’t the worst part though. The worst part is that I had mentioned my workplace in passing during the date and then he showed up there three times to try to see me again."
BananaOnionSoup
Running Off
"I picked out a restaurant that I had never been to because I thought I was being courteous or something picking a place closer to where she lived. It was almost totally empty aside from us, and the food was bad. Also, a few minutes into the date, I started to feel the rumbles and it could not wait. So I kept leaving her pretty much alone in this restaurant to rush to the bathroom."
"She probably thought I was running off to text my friends about what to do or something but it was just a very poorly timed case of diarrhea. Anyway, moral of the story is don't pick a restaurant you've never been to for a first date. Also don't eat Indian food for lunch when you have a dinner date."
ElToberino
We Did It!
married single ladies GIFGiphy"I have really bad social anxiety. A guy asked me out for lunch and in my mind, no one could want to date me, so I brought my bestie along to help keep up conversation. When we arrived he looked shocked, maybe even mortified, that’s when I realized it was (supposed) to be a date. Anyways now him and I are engaged and just put our deposit down for our venue!"
NakedMoleBrat
Where were you?
"When I made reservations and she agreed to meet me there. She never showed up and I ended up spending the evening talking with the waiter who made sure my wine glass stayed full. Made the best of an awkward situation."
AuzeroForemenius
Paid for by...
"It was actually a great date at first, bought me flowers, food, took me to the movies, even bought the expensive theater food which I insisted we didn't need because I felt bad about him spending money. I had an amazing time. About a year later I found out my parents had told him to take me out and payed for everything because they knew I deserved it. My bf at the time had tons of daddy's money and we were a broke family so it really made me upset."
MassiveFinish857
Go Home
"It never progressed to a date, but my college friend wanted to set me up with her boyfriend’s roommate. He walked into my dorm room, saw my Irish flag (hung to separate my bed from my roommate’s so I didn’t have to see her banging randos, just hear it) and asked if I was Irish. Uh, what would have given you that clue? 'Because my penis is Dublin.' Oh."
jmbf8507
That's Not You!
"Arranged meet up in the park with a girl on a dating app. Go, literally sit across from her on a park bench texting her that I don't see her. She had put on like 200 lbs from when her profile pictures were taken. Try to play it cool, okay we will just go for a walk. She immediately starts rubbing against me and trying to kiss. I noped out of there and got yelled at for fat shaming while I made my exit."
jaydoubleuw
Get Funky
Dance Dancing GIF by Shay MitchellGiphy"She got up and danced with another guy in the middle of our date. Then had the band announce they just got engaged. Later, he left on a bus and she asked me for a ride home because her fiancé doesn't own a car."
BewareofStobor
Too Soon!
"Had a girl confess that she loved me on the second date. She bought me a cookie cake with our names on it and say happy 2 weeks with hearts on it. The whole time she thinks people are hitting on her but all they’re doing is being nice. Then she fell asleep throughout the movie."
OkraFit3987
Single is looking so much better. Dating makes me want to sob.
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Reddit user DuckyMomo_12 asked:
"What’s something that would be 100% better if it was slightly shorter?"
Time At Work
Excited Happy Hour GIF by Boomerang OfficialGiphy"Average work hours"
- friendofjay
"Seriously. My current company has us work 37.5 hour weeks with a paid hour lunch. I don’t know if I could go back to the 40 hour/unpaid 30 min lunch again. It seems like such a small change but it feels like a lot."
- cageygrading
"Everything is getting more expensive right now because of corporate greed. Don't buy the bs that it's just inflation."
"Your bosses are making profits and squeezing you for everything you're worth in the process. Remember that while you bust your @ss for them."
- ravenfire47
"So would you take a pay cut so you can work less?"
- Pathwil
"If you work less, yes. But if you do the same amount of work in less hours, no."
"I moved to US a the beginning of this year and that is something which drives me crazy. People are so inefficient when they work, here."
"Why not just do your job rapidly, with great care and concentration then leave to have your life?! I was in Germany, UK and France before and that's what people do. You do your job and when it's finished, around 3 or 4 pm, they just go home or to gym, or other places. Having time for you is the reward for working well."
- OnTheGoodSideofLife
"Yeah that's a good way to look at it"
- Pathwil
Unwanted Hair
"My nose hair."
- HunterRemarkable550
"Dude... tell me about it. I didn't need excessive nose hair at 26, why TF do I need it at 36."
"Seriously, I can trim for minutes and the next morning I got nose hairs coming out my nose tickling the sh*t out of me!"
"Oh and there is one cheeky hair all the way up in my left nostril that will grow all curled up in my nose and all of a sudden it just starts poking out, seriously now, this thing has grown to about 2 inches long. if i pull on it, I swear to god it feels like it tugs on either the back of my head or my left eye."
"I got nose hair for days."
- Osborne85
"I just bought a beard/hair trimmer that has a nose/ear hair accessory, my nose hairs weren't excessively long but I feel like it looks much better now!"
- radekvitr
"This is fortuitous cuz I wondered if I'd ever get to tell this story! Literally, cleaning/fixing things in my new home about 3 hours ago."
"My nose got tickled and I i couldn't rub it because I had wood glue gloved hands. So I'm washing up and staring in the mirror at all the stuff my (generally maintained, but neglected because I can't find sh*t) nose hairs kept out of my system. It was AMAZING! DUST WAS DANCING IN MY NOSE HAIR LIKE I'VE SPUN CHARLOTTE'S WEB."
"I, honestly, felt lucky to get a chance to appreciate my nose hair. And I hope 1 day you do, too. As for me? I'm still left in awe like that'll do, pig, that'll do."
- unbridledboredom
Lines For Fun
Episode 2 Waiting In Line GIF by The SimpsonsGiphy"Lines at any amusement park."
- TheNonMurderingSort
"Go during September or October. The lines are much shorter and the weather isn't too hot or cold"
- darkaurora84
"One year my father's company and maybe a couple others rented Disneyland for one night. There were enough people that it didn't feel empty, but not so many that we couldn't just walk right up and immediately get on any ride. I was old enough to be on my own."
- cutelyaware
"One of the big perks of staying at one of the Disney hotels is they have certain nights that the park closes for everyone but the people that are staying there. We chilled at the hotel for most of the day then went in late and walked up to every attraction we wanted. My kid loved space mountain and we must have ridden it 10 times in a row. Glorious."
- olcrazypete
Personal Height
"Me. I hate hitting my knees on the seat in front when using public transport"
- hdhdhdhdzjursx
"Tall gang represent. Got the opposite problem tho, 31 inch inseam, all my height is torso. Crack my head on every ceiling in every personal vehicle I've ever owned bar one"
- Megalon84
"I don’t fit on airlines. Flying sucks…"
- Jak_n_Dax
"Frequent festival go-er, I always stand in the back because I hate blocking other peoples view"
- Zymper
"You took the words right out my mouth"
- LateTeenAnubis
This One Is Advance
"Queues. This is a two for one, as the word queue would also be 100% better if it was shorter."
- kriminellart
"The word queue is just the letter Q with a bunch of extra letters waiting in line."
- ecodrew
"Underrated."
- PM_meyourGradyWhite
"I've seen people using 'cue' like 'cue up', but idk if they're just americans that suck at using the right word because we don't call lines 'queues' as often."
- souleaterevans626
Rest
Tired Baby GIFGiphy"The amount of time you need to sleep"
- WomenAreNotReal
"How I wish 5 hours was enough..."
- 1ne3hree
"I honestly wish I could sleep more, maybe it would help with my loneliness. I usually need 6 or 7.5 h based on prior activity"
- Sad_But_Realistic
Court Appointees
"Supreme court appointments."
- Debasque
"Justices should serve an 18 year term, with each one staggered every two years."
"A: that is still plenty of time so that the court can be "above" politics, but a lot more sensible than a lifetime."
"B: it would eliminate this hair-on-fire panicked emergency that happens every time one of them suddenly dies and needs to be replaced. Every president gets to appoint two new justices per term like clockwork, predictable and calculable. No more political wrangling over who controls the Senate vs who is president vs how much time there is before the election and all that BS."
- DerCatzefragger
"Agreed. Lifetime is a bit much... I do believe in term limits across all branches of US govt . By all means make a difference for the people that voted for you or for the party that appointed you. But, a lifetime appointment. 🥺🙄"
- slowclicker
NFL
College Football Running GIF by Boomerang OfficialGiphy"Football (American) games. Especially things like replay reviews and timeouts after kickoffs and change of possession. Sure, guys would get more tired and worn down late in the games but that would be part of the strategy."
- sometimesimtoxic
"I grew up watching football with my dad. I always hated it (and still do) and always thought why do people enjoy watching a minute play with five minutes of whatever after before the next one, it's so goddamn boring to me."
- cozyroof
"A football game is played in 4 quarters, each 15 minutes long, with a 12 minute halftime in the middle. So do the math and a football game lasts. . . 3 friggin hours!?!? And the last 3 minutes of the 4th quarter accounts for 45 minutes of that time!"
- DerCatzefragger
"As a big American Football fan, I completely agree. I think the biggest culprits are the endless commercials but 3 hours is just too much. The players would adapt and you would likely see some reduction in size, especially on the line. Being 400 Lbs with that amount of PED assisted muscle is questionable as it is."
"Same thing with baseball but the purists like the pitchers taking 20 minutes before each pitch for whatever reason. I like Soccer too and watching a match get knocked out in 1.5 hours and getting on with my day is great."
- DustinAM
More Days To Enjoy
"Work week, 4 day work week, 3 day rest would be fantastic"
- Piemaster113
"I used to do 4 day work week, and I preferred it more than 5 day work weeks. Sure, I had to spend 10 hours at the office, but that 3rd day off gave me a day I could take my Mom to the doctor if needed."
- ryukin631
"The job I worked the longest at had me on a 4 on/4 off schedule. 12 hour days. I was there for 8 years, honestly loved that job, and one of the cool things about working 12 hour days for 8 years was that it made transitioning to 8 hour days a breeze. The downside was 2 day weekends f*cking suck."
- Mister_McGreg
"I would love that. You need the middle day. Then you get a day to rest/decompress, a day to have fun/do things, and a day to do chores/get sh*t in order for the week."
- pamplemouss
New Movies
"Most recently, Gray Man. They need to chill with the 2+ hour movies."
- olnog
"If the writers really knows what they are doing with the story and the actors nail the, well, acting, I don't mind 2hr movies."
"For me the main issue is that they tend to cut short, as if they halfway through filming realize that 'Oh shoot, this movie will end up 4hrs long'."
"I'd rather have a 4 episode mini-series with hour long episodes instead."
- ActualTechSupport
"I feel like any bollywood movie not clockin in at 3 hrs is pretty short. But the good ones make it seem short. Ex: Three Idiots, PK"
- rabid-
Which of these resonated with you most?
More importantly, what needs to be on this list that you don't see?
Gripe with me in the comments, folks! It's always a good time.
RedditorDangerous_Mobile9188 wanted to discuss what aspects of life still leave confusion.
"What do you genuinely not understand?"
Life is full of quandaries that I give up on trying to figure out.
Everywhere?
Emoji Corona GIF by BallcomGiphy"Why people can't use a public restroom without literally pooping all over the freaking toilet."
Natural-School5690
Around the grooves...
"How a single needle can run through the grooves on a record and produce a fully layered and 'separated' sound. I mean, I get how it works in theory. But like... how TF does it work?"
LandofRy
"I know how it works, and I understand how it works, and I was gleefully trying to convey this knowledge to a friend when I realized that I am not able to explain how it works, which essentially means that I don’t actually get how it works."
smelllikesmoke
Meow Team
"The thought process of a cat trying to jump on a shelf that is clearly filled with stuff and doesn't have space for it to land safely."
Mikrosarvinen
"The opposite, actually... how on earth does my cat jump on a shelf filled with stuff and somehow always land elegantly with all four paws between all the stuff without dropping a single thing? It surprises me every time."
WanderingArtichoke
"50% of cats have a 6th sense to avoid everything and 50% of cats are clumsy as hell. 100% of cats think they have the skill though."
KneeHumper
Clueless
"How consciousness works."
DarthDinDjarin
"I'm shocked no one has replied to this. Because yea. I haven't the slightest clue and i honestly don't think scientists know exactly how either. Such a complex system that turns into our thoughts and feelings, this is one of those things that REALLY made me appreciate the intricacies of our bodies."
r-Newbiedonthurtme
10/10
So Excited Reaction GIF by OriginalsGiphy"Every time my grandmother sees me, I seem to grow taller and more attractive."
JoeyMMuelle
I love grandmas. They understand everything.
S.O.S
Role Playing Reaction GIF by Hyper RPGGiphy"How people can raise a functioning family at the age of 18 or 19? I can't even hold my own life together."
Radioactivocalypse
Staying Put
"Squatter rights! They confuse the hell outta me."
roomtempcoff33
"Right! So you’re telling me, I can get evicted/foreclosed for missing some payments… but you can’t get rid of squatters who declare a house theirs ? I should just become a squatter then haha."
violet-ack
"Squatting is basically the same. It's not that they just get to live there, but the landlord has to use the proper legal mechanism (eviction) to get rid of them. And sometimes, that can take quite some time."
banality_of_ervil
"Steps"
"How crypto mining works... like what exactly are these huge setups doing and why do GPUs matter so much? I've read several articles about it and I still don't get it."
Tripper-Harrison
"This is an oversimplification, but they're trying to solve a math problem. If they get the answer, they get rewarded with crypto. But the math problem is very very hard. There's no 'steps' to find the answer, it's just guess and check."
"So you need to make as many guesses as possible to see if one of your guesses is right. And it just so happens that GPUs are very good at making these guesses. So if 1 GPU can make let's say 22,000 guesses every second, then two GPUs can make 44,000 guesses every second. 10 GPUs can make 220,000 guesses every second, and so on."
PierogiMachine
I'm Lost
"The wave-particle duality."
FishySwede
"This is the one man. For me this is the biggest mystery. Look, I don't care how the universe came to be. I mean I do, but this is much crazier to me. HOW DOES REALITY REACT DIFFERENTLY BASED ON OBSERVATION ALONE I sear this haunts me at night. Do i even exist man."
yungbandido
"Long story short, observing something at the quantum level is not as benign as observing, say, a runner on a racetrack. In observing something so small, the mere act of doing so affects the behavior/outcome. Imagine having to knock the aforementioned runner over in order to know where they are on the track. That's more or less how it was explained to me."
BaronMusclethorpe
Magic
Ross Mcelwee Photography GIF by FilmStruckGiphy"Cameras, I’ve been explained and seen explanations 100 times. It’s still magic to me."
Salty-Director538
Maybe there are just somethings we're not meant to understand.
RedditorBig-Courage-7297 wanted to know what some people really thought when they looked into a mirror.
"How hot do you think you are? Why?"
Depending on the minute and the era, I fluctuate in my response. Oh, and depending on my sodium intake.
Middle of the way...
Mackenzie Ziegler Makeup GIF by Brat TVGiphy"5, am not ugly nor a beauty."
son-of-sumer
"'Perfectly balanced, as all things should be' JK... you probably look great."
math_math99
Alright
"I give myself a solid 'alright for an old guy' out of 10."
TungstenkrillYup.
"Comparing myself to when I was young I feel like a 2. However if I look around at other guys my age, I'm doing pretty great. Simply still having a full head of hair puts me in the top 15%."
sarcasticorange
"Occupying the latter half of the age bracket here too. And while I’ve never considered myself wildly attractive, one of my wife’s work friends once remarked to her, 'you didn’t tell me your husband was a silver fox!' I keep that one in my back pocket for gloomy days."
Ryanbikes2
Mama Said...
"My mom said I'm a 10/10."
gamer25677
"His mom also said I’m a 10/10. Im starting to think she says that about everyone who’s been inside her."
AlwaysMooning
"Don't listen to these jealous haters you be that 10/10 and strut your stuff."
"Learning to love yourself, doesn't mean you don't see your own flaws but know where to improve and where and how you want to grow. Appreciate the goodness within even when it's hard, and work to have your ideal to be reflected on the outside too. Loving and forgiving yourself is the greatest peace you'll know, because everyone else might be gone at the end and you'll be left with you and your memories, make good ones. Spread positivity. 💕"
SevWagoner
Changes with time...
"I think most people's scores fluctuate with age. I like to think I was a solid 8/10 in my early 20s. Then my metabolism crashed and I was working a desk job. I got real fat, got lazy, less effort, dropped to a 4/10. Got my s**t back together, lost the weight, started putting in the effort again, back up to an 8 if not higher in my 30s."
"Then I had a traumatic event in my life and I slipped into a dark place for many years. I put on weight again, stopped putting in the effort, general depression stuff, 5/10. Now I'm in my 40s, working on keeping my weight down, putting in some effort, solid 6/10..."
"But no matter what has happened, how low or high I've been... my wife has always considered me a 10. She's the best woman I've ever met and will always be a 10 to me too."
Bannon9k
Oof...
Freaks And Geeks Photo GIFGiphy"6 or 7 on a good day? 1 when I try to take a picture of myself."
baconpoutine89
God I hated picture day. Still do.
Bad Hair GIF by TV LandBless You
"I have days where I think 'God da*n, look at me. I’m God’s gift,' and then other days where I think 'how does every mirror not break?'"
Conconharni
"Actually though. Part of it is I used to be super athletic but due to an injury now can’t, but go**amn, I could look quite literally like a sculpture of a Greek god or hero, but also a balding baby-faced creep. Also occasionally homeless. More often the two latter than the former"
Walshy231231
Getting Higher
"I think I was a 6 growing up. But now that I've matured into my late 30s I'm a solid 7."
Ok-Type9999
"This is me except as a kid I’d give myself a 3. Long-haired greaseball in my teens but now in my 30s, exercising for the past decade has really helped me out. Solid 7/10."
Fine-Difference-6896
"Man, I went from 4 to 8 to 5 in the span of 20 years. Metabolism is a *itch."
ELL_YAY
Bad Views
"I just remind myself that the me that looks bad in in some pictures/at some angles is the same me that looks good in other pictures/other angles, just a different version. There are some angles and types of lighting and mirrors that for whatever reason, will make just about anybody look bad. There is no such thing as someone who looks good when the phone camera opens itself and shows a view of you from under your chin."
StreetIndependence62
Boy Magnet
ichabod crane mirror GIFGiphy"I was objectively pretty hot when I was younger. Now I am an older hot, which is weird. Younger guys really dig me but I’m like, you weren’t even born when the Challenger blew up and I was at Uni."
dearabby1
We're all beautiful. Just keep saying that. Maybe it'll stick.
RedditorBertarioni85wanted all the gents to sit and discuss some of their universal agreements.
"What is something that all men could agree on?"
Perfect
Robert Redford Nod GIFGiphy"The Nod."
LongrodV0NhugenD0NG
"The nod really is great and so versatile. It's like a 'What's up man... everything cool' Ya me too. 'Wulp see ya later.' Just perfect."
Jibber_Fight
Make Room
"If there can be an empty urinal between us, make it so."
hesawavemasterrr
"There are men out there that break this rule! I was the only one, and at the far right end of a row of 4 or 5 urinals. Man walks in and pulls up right beside me, unzips, and let’s her flow, all while audibly exhaling in relief.
roofiethedog
When you gotta go!
"That we are happy we get the short bathroom line."
mr-random-ny
To add to this, I still marvel in amazement and am grateful when I walk into a bathroom at a stadium or sporting event and it's just an endless column of empty urinals. Then you see the ladies bathroom line wrapping around two different corners. There's so much room for activities in the men's bathroom."
MustWarn0thers
Never Forget
"Lady Professor in college (2008) said I’d make an incredible husband to my wife someday. Girl at the drive thru line said I had a cool car in September of 2015. Lady gas station attendant complimented my outfit that day and said I had a good vibe (2018). Cashier said I was handsome while ringing me up a couple weeks ago. Point is we never forget when we get complimented out of the blue."
rapalosaur
Power
Happy We Did It GIF by StoryfulGiphy"Click the tongs a couple times to make sure they work first."
anonymous5534
"Makes me feel like a crab… a very powerful crab."
DEcrypt1SouL
Wow. Guys are so easy. Like super easy...
Twice
talking episode 15 GIFGiphy"Whenever we pick up a drill we have to do the bzzt... bzzt twice. No more, no less."
Pixelthomas
Sticks and Stones
"I picked it up because it’s like, a really good stick."
Itchy_Clutch
"I wonder if that's instinctive. I've read before that human anatomy is almost perfectly engineered for throwing and thrusting spears. Maybe men have evolved to be able to identify really good sticks and even now we're drawn to them as a vestigial trait because instead of relying on claws or teeth, our ancestors needed good spears."
JoeWinchester99
On the X
"Put two men on the phone, and we’ll be done talking in two minutes. Put two men on Xbox live, and oh is it 2:00am? I should probably go to bed… after this game."
Manowaffle
"This is so true. A few weeks back a good friend called me at 10 at night because he’s been having a tough time with fighting depression and all that. I talked to him for a minute or two on the phone, cheered him up a bit and offered to keep the chat going on xbox live. Turned into an hour and half of a good time talking and playing COD."
BosephusPrime
Gotta have it.
"It's better to have and not need than to need and not have."
Regular-Bat-4449
"It's so bloody annoying not having the right tool for the job when you need it. I so long for the day when I will have a fully equipped garage with every tool I would ever need, to fix everything that needs fixing."
Neednowater
"My sister's car has cutlery, both steel and disposable. Have sewing kit, a flask, a bento box, and a complete stationery set. But, they don't even have a freaking umbrella and jumper in the car. Like, wtf. And mind you, we live in a tropical country where you should always assume every day is a rainy day."
azen96
Nothing!
Ellen Page Sony GIF by FlatlinersGiphy"Sometimes... I really am thinking about nothing. Literally... Flatline, nobody home, crickets in the field."
concequence
Ah men. What a quirky part of the species.