Dating and the search for love can be a treacherous disaster.
Even when you finally find someone to swipe right, you meet them and you wish they didn't even own a phone.
How do some people believe their behavior is appropriate?
Dates are meant to be fun and easy.
Not an episode of "Game of Thrones."
Redditorzippezwanted to hear about the times the love merry-go-round was a disaster. They asked:
"What was the worst date in your life?"
I can't even remember my last date. And I don't want to.
The FirstSeason 9 Wow GIF by Curb Your EnthusiasmGiphy
"She had her luggage with her, and expected to move in with me (1st date)."
"Went on a group date when I was like 16. There were 2 established couples and I was seeing a guy for the first time. We went to a bowling alley my date's friend worked at. The entire time this guy was trying really hard to show off and in general being a massive tool. I was sitting with my friends on the outer right seat in the row. Date's friend was standing about 3 feet to my right."
"My date went to toss the bowling ball to his friend because he was sooo cool and strong. He missed so hard that the bowling ball hit my left shoulder and my friend's right shoulder (we were sorta leaning into each other to talk), then fell on another friend's foot. He got 3 of us in one throw. He awkwardly apologized and then said he needed to use the restroom. Didn't see him again and went home with my friends lol."
"On the only date, he pointed to another woman at the bar and said that was his ex. This woman happened to be my lesbian roommate who was there with her girlfriend. So I called BS. It’s still hilarious how bad his luck was. Why would I be interested in someone intentionally trying to make me jealous by lying? Baffling!"
"I was meeting a girl at a bar by her school, which was an hour away. We planned on bar hopping all night and I would spend the night at her house. When I got there, she was already black out drunk and her friends just left her with me. Wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt."
"Maybe she was just nervous and would sober up a bit. But no, she was belligerent the entire night and almost got in several girl fights for bumping into everyone as she walked around. when I came back from the bathroom she was being passed around a group of dudes as she grinded every one of them."
At this point idk what to do. I wanna just bail, but she's blacked out with a dead phone. So I hung out on my own, made some new friends, waiting for her to party herself out. She did, I walked her home and she started to ball her eyes out when she realized I wasn't spending the night. I've never felt more awkward or embarrassed in my life."
Check Please...Check Please Premiere GIF by Jersey Shore Family VacationGiphy
"A guy took me out to dinner and excused himself to use the bathroom. Was gone for about 10 minutes. Found out the next day that he was actually in the parking lot having a quickie with the waitress, who knew a friend of mine."
What in the world? I mean. And we still have more stories. Lord.
“ok I guess”Happy Spring Break GIF by HBOGiphy
"I had a very persistent neighbor who I finally agreed to go out with."
"I got to the restaurant and he had already ordered me a drink. He asked to order my food for me and I was like 'ok I guess.' He made comment after comment about my 'smoking hot' pale complexion. Asked me if my ex was circumcised. Told me that women who think they are equal to men are out of touch with reality."
"Wouldn’t let me pay half, so I asked to tip, but he told me the $20 I was going to leave was too much. I went to the bathroom and came back to a glass of wine that I’d already told him not to order. He texted me 15 minutes after the date saying 'with a woman of your complexion a man must be careful not to leave a hickey.'"
not your babysitter...
"He told me we were going on a 7 mile out and back hike to go fly fishing. Turns out it was 7 miles of steep uphill to get there, we only fished for a few hours because we got rained out, when I asked for help he told me 'I’m not your babysitter' and farted the entire day because he ate a bean burrito on the drive over that morning."
"He also spoke to people we passed on the trail more than he spoke to me. The 7 mile hike back back downhill gave us both a ton of knee pain, and it was horrible. Worst part? It was the second date, because the first date was magical."
"Not the worst date because there have been of course some that were legitimately scary but the most awkward at least. He spoke several languages and when I said I spoke a bit of one of them, he insisted that I needed to practice and kept speaking in that language even after I repeatedly and increasingly stronger terms said okay that was fun but let's go back to English now, we're in a loud crowded place and this is above my skill level."
"He kept agreeing and switching back but then switching to the other language again 'so I could get the practice.' He kept correcting my vocabulary too. And by the way this man started out by saying he was fluent in English but only advanced in this language, so it wasn't as though it was actually easier for him to speak it. I would have been happy to struggle through if that was our best language overlap."
THE. WHOLE. TIME.
"I'm sure other girls have scary dates that are much worse but here's my non-scary awful date... I told the guy on the site we met on that I was nervous when it came to dating so not to show up in a suit or anything. He showed up in a stained t-shirt and sweatpants with holes in them. It was a weird choice for 'casual' but he seemed interesting online so I stuck it out."
"I kid you not, he didn't stop talking about himself THE. WHOLE. TIME. I asked him a total of 3 questions and he asked none. He sounded like a preacher on a pulpit sharing his life story. Most uncomfortable, longest, date of my life. Needless to say there was no second date."
I picked him up...
"First (and only) date. He shows up in smelly sweatpants and a stained shirt. I picked him up. We got to the movie theater and he had no money so I had to pay. Spent half the movie insulting me and the other half trying to grope me. All of that wasn’t the worst part though. The worst part is that I had mentioned my workplace in passing during the date and then he showed up there three times to try to see me again."
"I picked out a restaurant that I had never been to because I thought I was being courteous or something picking a place closer to where she lived. It was almost totally empty aside from us, and the food was bad. Also, a few minutes into the date, I started to feel the rumbles and it could not wait. So I kept leaving her pretty much alone in this restaurant to rush to the bathroom."
"She probably thought I was running off to text my friends about what to do or something but it was just a very poorly timed case of diarrhea. Anyway, moral of the story is don't pick a restaurant you've never been to for a first date. Also don't eat Indian food for lunch when you have a dinner date."
We Did It!married single ladies GIFGiphy
"I have really bad social anxiety. A guy asked me out for lunch and in my mind, no one could want to date me, so I brought my bestie along to help keep up conversation. When we arrived he looked shocked, maybe even mortified, that’s when I realized it was (supposed) to be a date. Anyways now him and I are engaged and just put our deposit down for our venue!"
Where were you?
"When I made reservations and she agreed to meet me there. She never showed up and I ended up spending the evening talking with the waiter who made sure my wine glass stayed full. Made the best of an awkward situation."
Paid for by...
"It was actually a great date at first, bought me flowers, food, took me to the movies, even bought the expensive theater food which I insisted we didn't need because I felt bad about him spending money. I had an amazing time. About a year later I found out my parents had told him to take me out and payed for everything because they knew I deserved it. My bf at the time had tons of daddy's money and we were a broke family so it really made me upset."
"It never progressed to a date, but my college friend wanted to set me up with her boyfriend’s roommate. He walked into my dorm room, saw my Irish flag (hung to separate my bed from my roommate’s so I didn’t have to see her banging randos, just hear it) and asked if I was Irish. Uh, what would have given you that clue? 'Because my penis is Dublin.' Oh."
That's Not You!
"Arranged meet up in the park with a girl on a dating app. Go, literally sit across from her on a park bench texting her that I don't see her. She had put on like 200 lbs from when her profile pictures were taken. Try to play it cool, okay we will just go for a walk. She immediately starts rubbing against me and trying to kiss. I noped out of there and got yelled at for fat shaming while I made my exit."
Get FunkyDance Dancing GIF by Shay MitchellGiphy
"She got up and danced with another guy in the middle of our date. Then had the band announce they just got engaged. Later, he left on a bus and she asked me for a ride home because her fiancé doesn't own a car."
"Had a girl confess that she loved me on the second date. She bought me a cookie cake with our names on it and say happy 2 weeks with hearts on it. The whole time she thinks people are hitting on her but all they’re doing is being nice. Then she fell asleep throughout the movie."
Single is looking so much better. Dating makes me want to sob.
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When looking at a resume, it's easy to understand how prospective employers will assume someone is very intelligent based on their education and past experience.
But one shouldn't only assume someone's intelligence based on what they read.
More often than not, one can tell rather quickly that someone possesses above-average intelligence, based on how they speak, how they behave, or other telling details.
Redditor PadWanKenobi was curious to hear what people felt were the tell tale signs they were in the company of a possible genius, leading them to ask:
"What’s a sign of extremely high intelligence?"
"Ability to intuitively and quickly understand complex systems and how lots of parts relate in a coherent whole."
"Like I work with some people who just keep tons of concepts in their head and easily integrate new information into their understanding of those concepts."
"They immediately know what questions they should be asking to better understand."
"And these are things they're currently working on, not like things they spent time studying in school over years."
"They just have a very strong ability to synthesize new information into their understanding."
"I sit in meetings distracted and confused having forgotten what we talked about in the previous meetings, and these folks just consistently have a solid handle on everything."- Ok-Control-787
Innate Problem Solvers
"They know when not to solve a problem."
"This took me a while to understand but the smartest people I know do this."
"It could be a really simple thing like ignoring emails from people asking for help."
"The supervisor or boss might have a quick and easy solution for the situation but instead of just handing it to the person that asked they let them figure it out on their own."
"They know who they can do this with and when to do it."
"If they did that with all of their underlings it would just create a mess."
"Another example that I can think of is planned chaos."
"Some people can predict exactly where things will go wrong and they could fix it before it creates a problem."
"They don't because nobody ever notices what's going on in the background when things are working perfectly."
"Once things fails then everybody notices and if you are the one person that fixed it you become the hero."
"They can also use then chaos to reach a goal they couldn't get before if things were working correctly."
"There's many examples of this in every day life that I didn't see before until I realized what was happening."- atapesGiphy
You know what they say about people with small hands
"If your hand is smaller than your face."- FallofTheKnight
The all knowing glow.
"When someone asks you a question and you push your glasses up while light comes out of it and covers your eyes for some reason."- JonEregor
Those giveaway behavioral quirks
"Wearing glasses and saying things like 'ah yes', and 'I see' while you pensively rub your chin."- iuytrefdgh436yujhe2Thinking Reaction GIF by ABC TV + IVIEWGiphy
"When they explain something they make the people around them feel smarter, not dumber."- redkat85
Being one step ahead.
"The capacity to understand complex things, see patterns where regular people don't."- Ostepop234
"They have this tendency to make you go 'Ohhh, why didn't I think of that?' when listening to them talk."- did_it_forthelulzWhy Didnt I Think Of That Cillian Murphy GIFGiphy
An endless love of learning
"A passion for knowledge and expanding understanding of complex concepts."
"The plumber can be just as insightful as the scholar."- KatatoniK94
Of course, one shouldn't always be fooled by what they see.
As many people are masters at appearing much smarter than they are.
In fact, one important sign of super intelligence is being able to separate those who appear smart, from those who actually are.
With each passing year of a marriage, couples will often discover that while they don't love each other any less than they once did, that spark their relationship used to carry has faded.
This will often lead these couples to look for ways to spice things up a bit.
Among the more popular experiments is inviting a third member to their bedroom.
Enticing as this prospect is, however, it's also easy to be intimidated by the reality of it, or even the mere suggestion of it.
"Men, what advice do you have for men whose wives want to bring a third into the bedroom?"
Make sure you want to do it.
"You need to be completely honest with yourself, ask if this is something you want and could live with."- Dame87
Proceed with caution
"It’s like frolicking in a mine field."
"You both better be SUPER into the idea, you can’t have one person who’s reluctantly agreed to go along with it."
"And established rules."
"A threesome sounds like fun and games until you’re watching your partner make faces and sounds that you only thought were for you in your most intimate moments together, and a burning jealousy comes out of nowhere and breaks your heart."
"I’m not saying it’s automatically a bad idea and I know people do polyamory successfully, but dear god be careful."- coleosis1414
Make sure you're an active participant
"I had an ex that was adamant that she wanted to be a swinger or whatever."
"The one time I decided to roll with it, I hit it off immediately with the other dude's girlfriend and had a blast hanging out with her all night."
"The other dude was a total creep, though."
"Also, my ex could not handle the fact that someone else was giving me the slightest bit of attention."
"So, needless to say, that didn't go anywhere."
"Turns out she didn't want to be a swinger, she just wanted to have sex with other people behind my back, which she had no problems whatsoever with."- Ted_Denslow
Look out for ulterior motives
"Just remember that if you bring this up and your husband is against it, that could be the beginning of the end of your marriage."
"For a lot of people their partner saying 'I am seriously considering having sex with other people and I'm checking with you if it is ok', is a deal breaker."- gamerplays
Consider a test run?
"Go to a bar together separately."
"Watch them flirt/interact with someone else."
"If you get jealous, it's probably a bad idea to bring in a third."
"If it turns you on, go for it."- SinSlayer
Query people with experience.
"It’s something my wife and I have talked about."
"We both agreed that opening the Pandora’s box is not the way we want our relationship to go."
"While it sounds fun, we have seen way to many relationships derailed because of it."- DarthDujo
Consider going whole hog.
"Bring a 4th."- xxemrgmi
Evaluate your relationship first.
"Make sure you and your partner are secure in your own relationship before having another person join."
"Have boundaries, and no secrets."
"From my experience it doesn't usually work out in the end."- Thick-Procedure455
"Don't do it."
"For a long time, my ex harbored a fantasy of watching me have sex with another woman."
"Hey, who knows why any of us are wired the way we are?"
"After contemplating the idea together for a while, we decided to approach one of her more attractive co-workers, who had made a series of flattering comments along the lines of "you're so lucky" and "he's so good-looking'."
"She enthusiastically agreed."
"Our first meet-up was of course awkward, but the second, third and following were pretty good."
"In fact they got progressively hotter, as we all got more comfortable with each other's boundaries, erotic likes and dislikes."
"However, over a few months these occasional kinky weekends transitioned into the co-worker asking more frequently and aggressively to be invited over."
"We tried to explain that we had intended these threesomes to be rare and exotic highlights in our sex life, not regular occurrences, but she didn't take the message to heart and instead became increasingly insistent, bordering on smothering."
"After being turned down one Friday, that night she unexpectedly showed up at our door anyway, carrying a weekend bag and wearing nothing but a raincoat, stay-ups and heels."
"While that was quite a sight, it definitely creeped us out, as it made us finally realize the whole arrangement was descending into 'play Misty for me' territory."
"My ex and I agreed that her unexpected and unwelcome appearance signaled the end of future three-ways, at least until we were able to cool our own selves down, reassess, and perhaps later find a less demanding and insistent third."
"Things subsequently got very sticky at work for my wife, as her co-worker, with whom she had to interact closely, strongly resented being permabanned, and kept demanding to know 'what she'd done that was so awful'."
"Coworker eventually asked to be transferred to another office, but by the time that process was over and done, the discomfort / guilt / pressure / confusion my ex was suffering both at home and at work had begun to take its psychological toll."
"I must confess it didn't help that our own sex life was simultaneously going through a rough patch."
"Long story short, we ended our decade-long relationship less than a year after breaking off the threesomes, chiefly due to trust issues and growing sexual incompatibility, both perhaps triggered by our experimentation."
"Ever since, I've regretted agreeing to that first three-way."
"If I hadn't been so damned eager to take a bite of forbidden fruit, we might have kept our relationship intact."
"But I guess this can also be put down as what sometimes happens when you ignore that old advice, 'don't sh*t where you sleep'."- theartfulcodger
When venturing into the unknown, it's always wise to gain some first hand experience, to hear a variety of pros and cons of what you're possibly getting yourself into.
That way, deciding whether or not it's for you will become increasingly clear.
It's also important to remember, that it is always ok to say "no".
People Share Their Best 'You Either Die The Hero Or Live Long Enough To Become The Villain' Experiences
"You either die the hero or live long enough to become the villain."
Though not necessarily a universal truth, all of us have witnessed unfortunate moments in our lives where we've seen this saying become a reality.
Be it seeing our favorite public figures take a serious fall from grace, someone we know and admire eventually disappointing us in a devastating manner, or even seeing ourselves turn into someone we promised we'd never become.
One Redditor was curious to hear people's examples of this saying coming to light, either from a personal experience or seeing it happen to a well-known, public figure, leading them to ask:
"Who is your example of 'you either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain'?"
"He originally stood up for civil rights when it was really unpopular."
"Was hospitalized and accidentally placed in the black ward."
"When the doctors found out, they tried to move him, but he refused."
"Then he became a cult leader and used his power and influence to end the lives of a thousand people."- Crvsby
Earning a position of power
"Working in restaurant kitchens."
"You either burn out young, or become the boss that everyone hates."
"There's exceptions, but that's the rule."- grandpas_old_crow
"Henry Heimlich, inventor of the Heimlich Maneuver."
"Made up a bunch of untested uses for it, treating people having asthma attacks, and drowning victims were the two I remember that he publicly talked up."
"Later, he funded an experiment that involved injecting people with Malaria to see if it would treat other conditions.
"The experiment was found to be unethical by American review boards, so he conducted them in Ethiopia." - User Deleted
"In WW1 he led the French to victory at Verdun, one of the worst battles in human history."
"In WW2, after France was beaten, Petain was the head of state of Vichy France."
"Guy went from the Lion of Verdun to the biggest Nazi collaborator in France."- arthuranymoredonuts
"Every organ until it gets cancer."- SuperBaconjam
"He had the whole country behind him here in Ireland at one point bar people who thought combat sport is grotesque."
"He was witty, original, backing himself up and having a Hollywood like rise to stardom."
"Now he's someone who the whole country is ashamed of, goes punching old men, clearly sleeps around on his wife while she's at home with the kids, just a walking caricature of himself."
"He didn't listen to his own advice."
"Get out."- StephenPigot2020
Turning into our parents
"My dad used to annoy me by calling my Pokemon cards 'Pokey-Mans'."
"Now my kids have them and I do the same thing and it annoys the sh*t out of them."
"Thanks for the (Pokeyman) gold!"- rumpel4skinOU
"Almost died during the revolutionary way, if I recall correctly, and if he had he would have been remembered a huge hero, and a martyr."
"Instead he lived and changed sides, and is remembered only for his being a traitor."- uniqueperson22
Be it someone we knew quite intimately, or someone we admired from a far, it is always heartbreaking to see someone evolve from someone we love, to someone we utterly hate.
Sometimes we do things that have to be done.
And some of those things live in life's gray area of right and wrong.
What comes as a surprise to some is when we don't care if we're wrong.
We may still technically be in the right.
But morally and ethically, there may be some issues.
But still, many people don't care.
Redditor BirdyPizzawanted to see who would fess up about some of the worst things we're responsible for but have no shame.
"What is the darkest thing you have ever done and don’t regret?"
I've stolen from department stores that overcharged. I was arrested. I didn't care. So there...
"Five years ago my dad suffered a catastrophic stroke. Left paralyzed and robbed of his speech and ability to communicate he was a shell of the once vibrant, charismatic man he once was. He was moved into skilled nursing where he lived for nearly two years, he was miserable."
"On my last visit I told him it was okay if he wanted to leave us, that we would miss him but he should go. A week later I received the call that he had passed. Instead of immediate grief I felt relief. Relief that he was finally free. The grief came later and I still miss him every single day."
"Got into a car accident and had to stay with my mom for a couple days to figure out what to do. Went back to my apartment (I had two roommates) and everything was missing from my room. Long story short one of my roommates had everything hidden in her room."
"I called and told her the things were missing from my room and she came up with a lie that a couple girls came to look at my room (I was moving out bc of the accident, long story) and that they must have taken my things. She had everything I owned. Including my grandmothers perfume bottles, stuffed to the back of her closet, under her bed, behind her dresser etc."
"So I packed all of my stuff up. Then took a giant black garbage bag and stuffed as much of her closet in it as I could. Took it to the middle of nowhere, dug a hole and burnt it. She called screaming at me that her stuff was missing. I told her the two girls must have come by and taken her stuff too."
"I hit my uncle left right and center when he was trying to choke my father to death. I was 16 years old at that time, a very skinny girl. I beat his face neck and every part of him that I could target with so much intensity that my knuckles turned blue the next day. I had an animalistic rage that day trying to help my father get away from his death grip. I hate my uncle even today."
"I got anger issues because of growing up around him. And I don't regret beating him that day at all. He was physically abusive to his wife as well. One fine day, his wife retaliated by beating him blue with a stick. And he stopped being physically violent towards her post that."
"A neighbor like 10 years ago was neglecting their dog badly in the heat. The dog escaped often and ended up at the shelter a lot. One day she jumped the fence and got her tie-out cable stuck on the fence. (She was not in danger of choking.) Neighbor put her on a 3-foot-long cable tied to a doorknob, no water, 90 degree day. I let some kind folks steal her, watched the whole thing and said nothing to stop them."
"When my father was dying and in pain I was the one who told the doctors he had been through enough and we couldn't see him suffer anymore. Doctor injected him with something, I assume a morphine mega dose and he passed peacefully moments after. Euthanasia may not be legal in UK but compassionate doctors know what's what. I don't regret it because my pa made me promise I would have his back when he got sick or old. I'm sad he got sick and never got to get old."
That is a lot of mess. But sometimes we have to do what we have to do.
"One of my ex best friends in high school was a real narcissistic lunatic. Had so many egotistical fantasies about what he deserved but I remained his friend because we met through my close friend (his girlfriend). As I started realizing what a terrible person he was I convinced him to go after his fantasy of a harem by asking to add a 3rd to their relationship, that led to a fight between his gf."
"I called her about it and asked how she felt about him adding someone to their relationship and about him sleeping with her. She said she knew nothing about that and started crying because he cheated on her. I basically helped orchestrate their breakup and have no regrets. She is happy with her first child now and he is in a toxic af relationship with 3 kids, 2 of which aren't his and his partner is 8 years older than him."
"Had to make the choice to take my dad off of life support after he got Covid this year. He was sedated for a couple of weeks and one of his lungs collapsed and I couldn't watch him fall apart anymore. My dad was a bulky dude. Constantly did a lot of outdoor work and to see him bone skinny and have no muscle left killed me and I knew even if he somehow got through it, he would have been so miserable and depressed in that state he was in. I don’t regret it. I think it was the right thing to do by him. I’ll never not miss him though. That was my buddy."
"Turned a close friend into the fish and game. He would poach mountain lions and bears. His whole family would literally shoot them and leave them. He would brag about it. I couldn’t stand it and felt that I needed to stop him. He’s in prison and so is his uncle. I know I ruined his life but he was literally killing so many mountain lions and bears."
"In middle school, there was this group of boys that would corner me in the hallway and try to scare me. I was the perfect target for these little b**tards. I was short, skinny, and had (and still have) and anxiety disorder. One day I just had enough, and asked a friend if I could have an extra pencil, sharpened it as much as I could, and when I saw one of them in the hallway, I stabbed the hell out of his leg. Sh**head got what he deserved."
Wow... we really are a dark and secretive people.