The Worst Coworkers People Have Ever Had
Reddit user Woodchipper_AF asked: 'Who is the most insufferable a-hole you’ve ever worked with?'
Working at a job where you get along with coworkers is ideal.
Strong teamwork can establish efficiency, and good rapport at the workplace can inspire friendships.
But not even the kindest person can vibe with everyone despite good intentions, and it could be due to toxic personalities.
Those types of coworkers can be ones who are unfriendly, manipulative, super arrogant, or completely lacking in self-awareness.
Annoying right?
Curious to hear about the latter, Redditor Woodchipper_AF asked:
"Who is the most insufferable a**hole you’ve ever worked with?"
These individuals did not look forward to showing up, due to individuals who've made their lives miserable.
Sweet Revenge
"At my old job, my boss would give me difficult projects from difficult clients. When I finished the project, she would go into the system and add her initials (whoever does the work has to initial after every step) and take off mine."
"Then she would go to her supervisor and be like, 'Look what I did! Hehe!' And she would get all the credit. When I finally figured out she was doing that, I wouldn't let her know when I was done, and I would personally submit my work to her supervisor."
"His mind was blown that I just 'magically picked up the work so effortlessly,' and I got promoted lol."
– i_am_dean
New VP In Town
"Matt, the new VP of operations decided that everything about our company needed to change, including undermining my role, essentially taking over my team, and started implementing these incredibly micro managing processes that nearly halved our productivity, then blamed it all on me. He then proceeded to place our junior as the team lead and left me on my own island. It really felt like he was trying to get me to leave and well, he got what he wanted. F'k you, Matt."
– Corgon
Her Way Or The Highway
"Sierra. Sierra knew the answer to every single question, had better ideas than you, had done more than you had done, tried everything that you thought of, seen more a problems than you had, and just all around was an insufferable know-it-all. Everything had to be done exactly the way she wanted it to be done even if it didn't need to be done that way, it still had to be done that way because that's the way she wanted it. She micromanaged everyone around. I was so happy when she moved to a different job."
– edgarpickle
Major Hypocrite
"Sounds like my insufferable coworker. Except mine is also a f'king hypocrite who’ll rat you out for bending a rule that is flexible while constantly breaking rules she’s not supposed to because she’s been working this entry level job for 30 years."
"I look forward to the day she gets fired but unfortunately this is a union job."
– sketchysketchist
Sometimes, things backfire.
Called Out
"I had a coworker who would sh*t all over my ideas in meetings and then offer up the same solutions I'd just offered like 5 minutes later. Everyone watched her do it and I don't know if she thought she was getting away with something or had some kind of mental block where she didn't even realize she was doing it. After a year or so we had this guy Dave get hired and the first meeting she did that he blurted out, 'wait a minute, 5 minutes ago Joe suggested that and you sh*t all over it.' And she was kind of like, 'Oh,' and like mumbled something while everyone stifled a giggle."
– Homerpaintbucket
The Saboteur
"Lady tried to get me fired and was totally harassing me - it backfired and she was escorted out by HR. I’ve been with my company for almost ten years now. See you never✌️"
– natureismyhappy
Gaslighting
"Yeah I just went through 2+ years of hell because of a total abusive gaslighting coworker a-hole. She would say abusive stuff to me when no one else was around and then completely deny it with management. She would create weird situations to make me look bad or crazy and would like daily attempt to turn coworkers against me. She would straight up mock me in front of coworkers and customers. Also, many incidents of her mocking me for being a guy and being 'too sensitive.' Sh*t like 'You are too sensitive. You should be able to handle what I say.'"
"She even knew I was sober (25+ years) and on a couple of occasions managed to make me feel like sh*t as if I was some total scumbag. It was unbelievably frustrating and I had no idea how to handle all this. I managed to kick alcohol and drugs a long time ago and survive a very rough childhood but had no tools to handle something like this. It was like the twilight zone. She successfully convinced management I was the problem and that I was making the whole thing up for a long long time. I felt completely defeated and hopeless."
"Massive stress for something like 2 years. I finally broke and told management do something or I will sue. They first hired a mediator who took us through the mediation process. I was not told what the mediator thought of the situation but I definitely get a sense the mediator told management yes you have a problem here."
"Then the company called in lawyers who investigated my claims. Took about 6 months but it turns out several of her own employees (we were both foreman) backed me up and from what I know the lawyers told my company they were in serious legal jeopardy. Every one of the women I work with said I am kind and never have I ever been mean, snapped or been rude to them."
"Several of them said they love working with me and some actually witnessed some incidents. I was kept in the dark as to the whole timeline of the investigation but one recent Friday management walked in and told her to gather her things and they escorted her out of the building. I literally had to step out and weep. Not just because it was finally over but why did any of this have to happen? I still don’t really know why I was her target and I don’t think I ever will. My stress levels are 1000 times better but yeah I think I need therapy. Still processing it all."
– Quinnjb
These are the kind of work colleagues you don't go out for drinks with afterward.
The Thing About Dave
"Dave."
"Dave is a guy who thinks he’s much smarter than he is. He’s been with the same company for 20 years and has worked his way up the ladder at a small company, where he now leads Operations."
"He’s a control freak and micromanager and this job is pretty much all he has in life. He will do anything and everything to block progress and innovation and will ruthlessly stab anyone in the back who gets in his way."
"Sometimes I have pity on Dave because this job is as good as it’s ever gonna get for him. I’m gonna leave this job soon and move on to better things, but Dave’s gonna be doing Dave things until a heart attack or kidney failure takes him out eventually."
– rockit454
Can't Be Pleased
"Guy that I worked with on a cabinet door assembly line. One night we got done about 30min early and this guy throws a fit. How is he going to pay his bills if they send us home early ect ect. Two nights later we had to work about 45min late. This guy starts throwing a even bigger fit. No one helps us, whining we have to work overtime ect ect lol."
– Munson4657
Working Quitter
"Got a dude i work with who always claims he will quit when it comes to OT. Thing is, its never mandatory unless dire. We usually always have volunteers to fill in. Its been like seven years. Quitter still works there, claiming he's gonna quit."
– hobgoblinreacharound
I've been fortunate enough to have worked with amazing groups of people throughout my performing career.
But my first job experience as a 16-year-old was not a positive one. I worked in retail selling video games at the mall where I grew up.
My trainer who worked shifts with me behind the counter was the boss's girlfriend. She was condescending and would often abandon her job duties when things at the store was slow and go shopping around the nearby shops and department stores.
Of course, whenever she was gone, I dealt with mayhem. I had to figure out how to deal with exchanges, giving refunds, which I had yet to learn.
I also had to call security on a kid who wandered in unattended and swiped an item from behind the counter, then later dealt with his irate mother who had to leave her job to pick up her kid from the mall and yelled at me for accusing him of stealing.
After two weeks, I quit.
People Share Their Very Specific Dating Restrictions
Reddit user AceofSpadesYT asked: 'What is your most specific restriction when it comes to dating?'
When it comes to dating, I have my mental checklist. The guy must be kind, intelligent, funny, and a movie buff. He must be adventurous but also doesn't mind a Netflix and Chill date night.
Most of this is similar to the mental checklists other people have. Of course, I can be flexible. If someone is nice and I'm having fun with them, they don't necessarily have to check all the boxes.
However, I have one specific dating restriction that is a dealbreaker regardless of how many boxes the person checks, and that's religion. I've never been a fan, and now I'm an atheist, and I would want my partner to be as well. That's because I want kids, and the last thing I want is for us to argue about how to raise the kids when it comes to religion.
I'm not the only person who has one specific dating restriction. Everyone has that one thing that is a dealbreaker when it comes to a romantic relationship. Redditors certainly do, and they are ready to share.
It all started when Redditor AceofSpadesYT asked:
"What is your most specific restriction when it comes to dating?"
It's Just A Joke!
"No cruel or rude pranks."
– detective_kiara
"I saw a post by someone whose boyfriend "pranked" her by pretending to be dead on the kitchen floor. That is exactly how she had found her previous partner, dead on the kitchen floor, which her current boyfriend knew. He was surprised she dumped him and didn't think it was funny."
– innocuousspeculation
We're (Not) Gonna Party!
"No party people. Nothing wrong with it, I just ain't dealing with that sh*t."
– PlantBasedStangl
"True. I like planning weekend stuff, but it has to be something meaningful - visiting a different city, movie marathon, mountain hike, fancy lunch, all okay. But... clubbing and drinking? How f**king old are we, 19? No thank you, I'm old and have no energy for listening to music I don't like while being surrounded by 50 people that I don't give a single half of a sh*t about."
– PlantBasedStangl
LOL
"Same sense of humor. I have 0 interest sharing physical space with someone who doesn't laugh with me."
– Legendary_Lamb2020
My Ears Are Bleeding!
"I'm a light sleeper. I cannot date a snorer. I can hear snores through ear plugs AND a fan blowing. It's not you, it's me."
– YourLocalOrca
At that point, it does sound like them 😂
– CuriousRedditor98
Funemployed
"Have a f**king job."
– Cuss-Mustard
"Found this difficult when I was funemployed. Was fortunate enough to be able to live off savings for a bit."
"People reacted oddly to it. “But what do you do???”"
"Was dating at the same time and some girls had the same sentiment. “You don’t have a job?”"
"I had a good enough job that I didn’t need one anymore. And one lined up 8 months from then. But there were two girls specifically who treated it as a deal breaker."
– DigNitty
"I had a similar situation. I worked a high-paying job for a few years that demanded a ton of my time and had crazy hours. It burnt me out badly and I lived off of the savings from that job for a while and tried to date now that I actually had free time. I had more money in my bank account during that time than at any other point in my life but so many people were put off by me being funemployed and assumed I was looking to leech. But I guess there’s really no way to know someone's history and hard not to assume. Now I work full-time and have way less money overall but it looks better..."
– Pinsit
Just Breathe
"No smoking. Ever. I'm not kissing an ashtray, or smelling an ashtray. Instant turn off."
–fishfood19
"100% I broke up with an old gf because she started smoking behind my back knowing I’ve got asthma and it was always a hard pass. She thought I was joking but it showed me that she was also untrustworthy."
– Jonowl89
That'll Do It
"I guess my husband restricts my dating."
– HeinousEncephalon
"My wife has the same rule. But the jokes on her, I get around it by dating her!"
– AuralRapist
Prehistoric Love
"Must like dinosaurs."
– Grungeceratops
"That goes without saying."
– Plain_Chacalaca
What's In A Name?
"Cannot have the same name as any of my relatives."
– Poorly-Drawn-Beagle
"My last ex had the same name as my Dad and I reeeeeeaally didn't like it. So, fair."
– severaltalkingducks
Be Polite
"If they’re rude to people they’ll never see again (Waitstaff, cashiers, etc) I’m out."
"I can’t respect anyone who doesn’t respect themselves, and when you’re not polite to people you’re disrespecting yourself."
– OctopusCandleCompany
God Only Knows
"When I was dating, you had to be an atheist. I don't mess with religion. And I genuinely just don't think atheists + religious people work out."
"And I know... There's going to be someone who comments (assuming there are enough upvotes) who says "I worked out with my spouse who's religious and I'm not!" but you're the exception. When it comes to making decisions long-term, how to spend your money, where you think you'll go after you die, not to mention basic morality (!), and if you have children - that's a huge hurdle."
– Lulu_42
"We worked it out. It's absolutely an exception and not the rule. Don't do it if you can avoid it."
– Alcoraiden
Let's Move Tonight (Literally)
"They need to be ok with cold weather."
"I grew up in the north, live in the south, and I'm tolerating it until I can move back north. If someone says they hate the cold it's an instant turn-off because I don't want to drag someone into a climate they hate."
"The same thing also applies to walkability. I want to move somewhere walkable, and I hope to meet someone with that same goal rather than try to talk them into it."
– ThePresidentCantSwim
"Let me know when you find this mythical northern walkable community."
– Partner-Elijah
My Purr-fect Match
"Cat has to approve."
– Possible-Source-2454
Non-Negotiable
"They need to be male. Kind of important."
– RMHaney
"So weird, I want the complete opposite."
– eightvo
Yeah, the male thing is kind of important for me too!
Do you have anything to add? Let us know in the comments.
Life is full of shock and surprise.
Apparently, that is part of the fun.
Who hasn't been left stunned by life events?
We always think we're immune to way too many things.
Anything and everything is possible.
It's important to be ready.
Redditor Bob_the_peasant wanted to hear about the things that have left people SHOOK, so they asked:
"What 'That can’t happen to me' thing happened to you?'"
I haven't been left that shocked that often.
I'm always expecting the worst, so I'm prepared.
But you never know.
I'm Dead
Snakes Imacelebau GIF by I'm A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here! AustraliaGiphy"A snake fell out of a tree and bit me on the head."
"ETA: I have always been more scared of snakes than anyone I know, so it’s just so ironic that this happened to me of all people."
amanitachill
Crash Into Me
"A car crashed through my kitchen last year."
aster636
"I woke up to a truck parking in my bathtub 2 weeks before Christmas a few years ago. I watched my sink roll past my bedroom door followed by a hubcap. The driver managed to cross a median, 3-lane road, up an embankment, through an iron fence and between trees. He'd been involved in an altercation nearby and was fleeing the scene."
anjie59k
Hot Air
Swinging Hot Air Balloon GIF by Red BullGiphy"My family and I were in a hot air balloon crash."
GymDoll2000
"My friend had one crash into her pool when she was a kid."
Environmental-Car481
This is why hot air balloons and skydiving are just a HELL no for me.
Always have. Always will.
Tragic
Cat No GIF by Looney TunesGiphy"My wife cheated on me with my best friend. They’re moving in together next month. I’m in a new city thousands of miles away. I found out a month ago."
Tssodie
Bad Penguin
"Everyone else’s stories are very sad so here’s something a bit lighter. I’ve mentioned this story before but I got bitten on the neck by a penguin."
"I was at an event where the local zoo had a penguin and owl sitting on tables with handlers so you could take a picture next to them. The penguin went for my glass of wine, I moved the wine, and it bit me on the neck hard enough to bruise. They removed the penguin after that. 😂."
archaeologistbarbie
All Gone
"Our house burned in a wildfire, we lost absolutely everything we owned and only salvaged a single coffee 3 cup."
"On the good side: There was a boy I crushed on all through high school. We went to summer camp together and I adored him. We ended up getting together in our 20s after reconnecting, and have now been together more than 20 years, married almost 17. We’re as madly in love as ever."
toomuchisjustenough
Good Luck
"Homelessness. It came swiftly and out of nowhere. had no savings and the landlord sold the house I was in. couldn’t afford a new place so lived in my car with my dog for a few months. ended up finding community assistance and got into an apartment."
jumbospicyslimjim
"I can’t even imagine being in that situation. Hopefully, this is just the start of things turning around for you. Sending you good energy!"
frappbarqueen
Early Michael Myers
"About 10 years ago, I was stabbed in the arm with a flathead screwdriver. It was a coworker whom I had previously gotten along well with. He had stopped taking benzos and smoking weed a few days before and was on a hair trigger. I said something sarcastic, and he just snapped."
Mr_Spaghetti_Hands
Bad Landing
Bad Day Seagull GIF by Sound FXGiphy"I was lying on the beach and a seagull flying very high took a poop and it went straight in my mouth."
Competitive_Show6205
This is why I say... "Never trust a seagull!"
They are minions of the devil.
People's Craziest 'You Can't Eat At Everyone's House' Experiences
We've all heard the phrase, "You can't eat at everybody's house," but some of us have a few examples of our own to live by.
From not properly cleaning the environment to questionable hygiene ourselves, there are countless reasons why a person may not want to eat what you've cooked after watching you prepare it.
Bracing themselves, Redditor 195901 asked:
"What is your 'you can't eat at everybody's house' horror story?"
Fly Spray Sandwiches
"I told my dad my sandwich tasted like fly spray at my grandma's house. He didn’t believe me."
"Two days later, I caught my grandma spraying the benches 'clean' with the two-dollar fly spray you find at the cheap store."
"Dad figured it was safe to make sandwiches straight on the countertop because they looked clean. I dragged him over to see and he apologized and took my sister and me for fish and chips for lunch."
- littlehungrygiraffe
Special Seasoning Deviled Eggs
"My crackpot aunt served us a lovely tray of deviled eggs, complete with very old paprika sprinkled on top. So old, in fact, the many weevils mixed in it were dead."
- PhoneboothLynn
A Disturbing Surprise
"I visited a friend's house who was living with his mother, and she asked if I wanted a coffee and I said I would."
"Upon getting to the bottom of the cup and taking the last few gulps, I found there was a used bandaid stuck to the bottom… I never ate or drank there again."
- MrRailton
In Need of Child Protective Services
"I was babysitting a kid in a pretty dirty house. I was told to wake him up, supervise bathing and changing clothes, and feed him. I was welcome to whatever was in the fridge. Okay. The house and his clothes were filthy."
"Then, when I opened the cabinets, floods of roaches poured out. There were roaches in every opened box and container."
"I took him back to my house and returned him later that day. I hope the boy ended up in a better situation. I found out CPS (Child Protective Services) got involved shortly after."
- Alltheprettydresses
Traumatized by Raisins
"I was gonna complain about raisins in the potato salad but the other comments on here are scary. Oh my god."
- tcumber
"When I was a young kid, I stayed over at a friend's place, and his mom made veal or something with godd**n raisins INSIDE the meat somehow. It was so nasty, I never forgot it."
- User2716057
You WISH That Was Vinegar
"My MIL fished around in the green bin (compost bin) with her bare hands, didn't wash them, WIPED her GARBAGE JUICE HANDS on the tea towel, and then WENT BACK TO PREPPING THE SALAD."
"She also got horrifically offended if I didn't want to eat at her house."
- 116843189
Poor Home Hygiene
"My first boyfriend’s parents invited me for Thanksgiving. I came over a few days before Christmas and all the same dirty dishes from Thanksgiving were still in the kitchen. I passed on coming over for Christmas dinner."
- MinimalistHomestead
Every Surface Covered
"I went to a friend's house after school, he was going to teach a group of us to play D&D (Dungeons and Dragons)."
"We got there and his house was disgusting. I'm not the neatest person but the carpet hadn't been vacuumed in forever, clothes were all over the place, and dirty dishes were stacked everywhere."
"I tried to be polite even though the place reeked, but at some point, he was like, 'Who wants snacks!'"
"He picked up a bowl that was crusted with stuff, splashed in some water, wiped it with a towel that clearly hadn't been washed that decade, and poured chips into it. Then he asked if we wanted to stay for dinner. We did not."
- KnittinAndB***hin
O Holy Expiration Dates
"When I was a kid, Christmas Eve was always celebrated at Grandma's. I always got sick afterward. Like, Merry Christmas, you're going to puke now."
"It wasn't until I was all grown up and helping her out in the last weeks of her life that I learned why. She did not believe in expiration dates on anything!"
- SundayMorningTrisha
An Immune System to Remember
"My grandma made me a food phobic from a young age. Whether it was ramen with moths floating on top, or chunky milk in my cereal, it just scarred me for life."
"Dinner at her house was always a fight. Not eating her food was not an option. I'm not sure why that was the hill she would always choose to die on, because she was an amazing grandma other than this."
"Expiration dates aren't a thing. If the cheese was moldy, you cut it off... I think living through the great depression and raising kids in poverty changed her mindset on food."
"I mean obviously, she's doing something right because she's 91. She must have the immunity of a superhero."
- tha_stormin_mormon
Neighborly Love
"I used to help an old neighbor out with grocery shopping, I’d drop the bags at her door and she’d give me a check for the amount of groceries. She’d give me homemade cookies once in a while, chocolate chips."
"I didn’t ever eat them because one time I caught sight of her apartment. It was a large studio, a small kitchen, and tv, and a bed/couch. And there were about 20 cans of cat food, half-eaten, and one million flies and small maggots in different stages of growth, dishes with crusty food stuck to them, and a wall of empty beer cans."
"After I saw that, and got a whiff of her apartment, I started helping her with taking garbage out and putting groceries away, cleaning out her fridge, and making sure her cat was healthy."
"A couple of months later, she got the virus, ended up at a rehab facility, and passed within two weeks."
"Some people need help and a little company…"
- SnooPeripherals6557
No Longer Rice
"A girl I was interested in at the time had cats. I came to her house one day to pick her up for a date and he had a large sack of rice open in her pantry with the pantry door open."
"One of the cats hopped out of the sack of rice and she just casually laughed at it like, 'Oh, they are always getting into things.'"
"I came over the following weekend that SAME sack of rice was in the pantry and I could hear one of them tussling around in it again, we stopped dating sometime after that but anytime she offered to cook for me I immediately pivoted to taking her out to eat instead."
- justad**nfool
"Those cats probably used it as litter."
- Anonymanx
"Yeah, that was my fear."
- justad**nfool
Could Have Warned Her
"My mom told me one about going over to her aunt Virginia's house. She, her parents, and her siblings were sat around the kitchen while her aunt cooked, and my mom could not figure out why no one else was having ANY of this incredibly delicious bread that was on the table."
"She was on her third slice when her aunt stepped out to do something else, and my mom was told by her brother to go look in the flour bin."
"It was absolutely filled with miller moth larvae. Aunt Virginia had been losing her eyesight for years."
- smoothiefruit
"It's f**ked of her parents not to warn her not to eat the bread... like, what the f**k, you KNOW the bread isn't safe, so you're not eating it, but you're fine with letting your daughter have three slices?"
- whydontthissitework
Bad to the Point of Malnutrition
"I graduated high school at 6' 10" tall, but weighing only 120 pounds."
"That's not skinny, that's emaciated."
"The food prepared by my bio-mom was so bad that it wasn't providing me with the nutrients or calories I needed to survive. I went off to college where I had to cook for myself (I wasn't allowed to cook at home because my father insisted that "cooking was women's work")."
"Not only did I discover that food didn't have to be burnt to a crisp, flavorless, or boiled until everything was grey. I also discovered that food can be made to taste good, and using things like salt, or pepper, spices, or various condiments can make it taste amazing."
"The "freshman 15" likely saved my life."
"The thing is, I don't think that my biomom was even aware that her food was that disgusting. Whenever we went out for dinner (which was more often than what my father wanted, but he was the one who insisted on going), she did nothing but complain about how the food was undercooked, 'practically raw,' or 'too spicy,' to eat."
"When she went to other people's houses (including her own extended family) she would criticize them for 'doing it wrong' when she watched them cook anything. She would often end up refusing to eat their food because she 'watched them ruin it,' when they cooked it. We never had guests over to eat her cooking. Ever."
- Galaxy_Ranger_Bob
Clean Hands
"We have a chili contest every year at work around Thanksgiving and I've stopped participating in voting for it because I want to know whose I'm eating before taking any. I work with some great people, but I wouldn't eat at or anything from their house. Strangely enough, the guy I absolutely despise I'll gladly eat his chili because he is clean and well kept and I know his house is."
"I also work with a bunch of people who don't wash their hands after using the bathroom in any capacity and we've secretly kept a list so to avoid any potlucks where they take food or to get food before they do."
- SafewordisJohnCandy
We're left with chills after reading these stories.
Where some people might make some mistakes in the kitchen out of just not knowing, like not properly washing rice before cooking it, most of these are just careless mistakes that have disgusting, if not dangerous, results.
What makes us all unique is our passions and the things we love, whether it's singing in the shower, reading books, or listening to specific music artists.
Unfortunately, we live in a world where we are judged for our various tastes and interests thanks to social media, and it makes us consciously selective about sharing the things we love on the internet.
Curious to hear about people's personal desires under anonymity, Redditor sweet_chick283 asked:
"What do you secretly love that you would never admit to in public?"
These aren't really chores for the following Redditors.
Good Clean Fun
"Mopping, im a janitor and generally hate my work... but damn mopping is so good."
– MrDDog06
"When you have a great rhythm going it is something special. I get the same feeling while I vacuum, but won’t let my wife know I enjoy it."
– Bogus_34
Act Of Unwrinkling
"Ironing clothes. A dozen of them. Can’t explain how it relaxes me. I told one person and they looked at me like I’m crazy."
– eerie_white_glow
"My mum misses the days when dad would be out on a Friday night, my brother out with friends and me upstairs quietly playing PS1. She would pour herself a Bacardi & Coke and do the ironing while watching her TV shows."
"I'm sure she doesn't really miss it now that we've moved out and they've retired but it was her wind-down after a busy working week so I can see how people can find it relaxing."
– xdq
Our solo actions can spark joy.
Big Brother Is Watching
"pretending to be on the Truman show and whenever im in my house i act all inconspicuous so they dont know that i know that they’re watching me."
– Bec_121
"C’mon man, you’re not supposed to let him know. You signed a contract when signing up for live views. I’m reporting you."
– doeswaspsmakehoney
The Multi-Tasker
"Playing video games naked at home while eating cheese."
– thickening_agent
Releasing The Kraken
"I love the feeling when you've eaten good fibre and let out a solid long train log in the toilet. That feeling is heavenly."
– therapoootic
"Even better when it’s a clean wipe and not a poo crayon."
– TheWarmestHugz
Ultimate Comfort
"My (male 41) weekend routine is coming home from work, make hot chocolate, start a fire, dress in a ugly pink nightgown made for old ladies and watch forensic files."
– crazyloomis
Some people are obsessed with collecting things.
So Kawai
"Sanrio stationery stores. All those different multicolor pens, a thousand kinds of erasers, spiral bound notebooks galore... my kids sadly have absolutely no appreciation for this wonderland..."
– HavingNotAttained
It's A Staple
"Office supplies have a weird, special place in my heart ever since I was a kid. They don't even have to be 'cute' necessarily."
"Japan's legendary stationery stores is unironically a reason I want to go."
– _CozyLavender_
Not Caring Anymore
"The older I get the shorter that list gets. Not because I love less things, but because I don't care about hiding it."
– Bi-Beast
"YES!! I'm 53 now. I'm working my first job in public since 2006. Today is Halloween and we're allowed to dress up so I am sitting here waiting to go to work dressed as a VERY bad Wednesday Addams. My bf said I'd 'look stupid' because no one else will probably dress up and I'm like, 'WHO CARES!' My makeup looks horrible and not like I practiced, but I DO NOT CARE! I'm having fun with it anyhow and I don't care if my coworkers dress up or not. I'm bein' ME! :)"
– deanie1970
Honorable mentions start here.
The Savior
"Picking up worms from the street and sidewalks when it rains and moving them into the dirt so they don’t burn in the sun, every time it rains I do this."
– sky_kitten89
Hero Of The Moment
"Yoooo I scoot SO many snails and worms. I work as a tech/mechanic at an automotive shop, I had a peoject car towed to my house the other day and it was covered in snails. I saw them when the tow guy/coworker was unloading and I was like, 'oh! It comes with free snails!' and began moving them. He laughed then realized and said, '... Oh, you're serious. Uh... Okay.'"
"I don't care who knows it. These little things barely can look out for themselves, why shouldn't we if we can take a moment to help? I don't care what happens next, it probably doesn't matter overall but I can help this moment."
– chris14020
Why should some of the hidden desires mentioned above have to be secret?
Redditors opening up about some of these would make them a hit at parties–no shaming.
As a matter of fact, I'll totally be down for a Forensic Files viewing party where we all make hot chocolate, light the fireplace, and cozy up together in our respective pink ugly nightgowns for old ladies.