We all want to have the best of intentions, I mean at least I hope we do.
In order to do that though... we need to start watching what falls out of our mouths.
First, read the room.
Second, process your thoughts.
Third, just be present.
I know we've been indoctrinated to believe that putting a positive spin on every little thing will make life all better.
But that is not always the case.
Redditornumb_yet_emotionalwanted to discuss the ways being "positive" maybe didn't work out best. They asked:
"What is the worst toxic positivity you've heard?"
Don't tell me to just smile. I like a solid frown thank you.
What Day?canadian what GIF by CBCGiphy
"I read a comment on Reddit that someone had wished someone a 'Happy rainbow baby day' on the anniversary of their miscarriage. So uh... that."
Just Like Bey!
"People saying that we all have the same 24 hours."
"There's a motivational image somewhere that says 'you have the same amount if hours in the day as Beyonce' and it's like.. I mean yes but how many of her hours are spent cooking, cleaning, struggling with finances, and handling life? I would argue she has more hours because she pays people to do things instead of wasting her time."
"I’ve been called brave before because of my disability. Nah bro. I’m just living life the best I can just like anyone else tries to do."
"You should be proud of not letting it affect your personality and make you bitter!"
"First of all, you never knew me without this condition, so for all you know, this IS my bitter self. Second: honey, if every bitter person needed a good reason, and if every person with a good reason turned bitter, there would be such chaos in human society."
"I would often cry as a kid because I had a really bad father. My mom's response would be 'at least you have a father, some kids don't have one!'"
"There's a saying in Dungeons and Dragons, particularly regarding toxic groups or Dungeon Masters. It's become a slogan for subreddits where people share their horror stories about really bad games, because it's pretty common that people are writing them in retrospect and, at the time, feared that they wouldn't find a group to play with again. That saying is 'Bad D&D is worse than no D&D.' Bringing this up for no reason at all."
“it’ll be ok”americas got talent shut up GIF by NBCGiphy
"When my baby was diagnosed with a potentially terminal illness in utero and everyone outside of the medical field kept saying 'it’ll be ok.' Meanwhile I’m trying to figure out how I’ll survive planning my baby’s funeral if the worst happens."
I can't with some of these. It's like people have never been in public before.
Shut Up!Joe Biden Reaction GIF by Election 2020Giphy
"Recently went to a crisis Uni. One of the case workers said you can't be sad if you're grateful. Very untrue!!!"
“doesn’t mean it”
"The idea that you 'have' to forgive everything, often said immediately after the thing happened. It’s often used as a way to dismiss the hurt or the action. You don’t have to forgive everyone or everything. Many times, forgiveness is good, especially when you can communicate with the person who hurt you. But sometimes anger is adaptive, and it signals an important boundary that you can recognize in the future."
"Relatedly, the idea that you should be explaining away someone’s behavior by trying to imagine what they were thinking or feeling. In many cases, understanding other perspectives is extremely helpful. But in cases of repeated abusive behavior, telling someone that the abuser 'doesn’t mean it' or 'you know they love you, but they have problems controlling their anger' is not helpful."
"Just choose happiness!"
"I hate this for two reasons."
"1: there is a seed of healthy advice here that has been drowned and corrupted into something absolutely meaningless and offers no help for any situation."
"2: happiness is just one of several emotions humans feel. All of them are valid and serve a role in the human experience. Anger, fear, jealousy, love, disgust, regret and sadness are just as valid as happiness and suppressing them is not healthy. Acknowledging our 'negative' emotions as they are helps us get out of bad situations much more effectively than 'choosing to be happy.'"
Pain is Pain
"Two things. It's selfish to want to help yourself when you're in a state of depression, and you shouldn't be depressed because you have what many people don't have. A roof over your head, food, water, electricity, etc. No matter who you are, you can always take care of yourself, and you can also feel depressed. Placing yourself before anyone else shouldn't be selfish, it should be basic self needs."
"Family always sticks together!"
"Bull. F**king. S**t!!"
Sometimes the best way to help... is to just shut up. There's a positive.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
- People Share The Changes They Made That Really Improved Their ... ›
- People Disclose Their Own Most Toxic Traits - George Takei ›
- People Divulge Which 'Healthy' Products Are Actually Quite Harmful ... ›
- People Divulge Which 'Healthy' Products Are Actually Quite Harmful ... ›
Weddings, and the festivities leading up to them, are a major milestone in many people's lives. The sheer stress and effort that go into planning a wedding are usually enough to make people realize they should try hard not to screw things up.
Sometimes that isn't the case though, and when things go wrong they often go very, very wrong.
Reddit user u/MediocrePNumber6 asked:
Myself and some mates went paintballing a few years ago and the other team was the groomsmen from a wedding happening the next day, all went well but at the end of the game the paintball host said "showdown between groom and best man" so they go back to back and walk 5 paces and shoot eachother but the best man shot him on the neck and it looked like the biggest hickey ever so id say it was fun to try explain that!
I was at my uncles fiancés bachelorette party. The next morning we wake up and her engagement ring is missing. Her drunk brain reasoned it was safer to take her ring off to wash her hands in the club but she never put it back on after. We tried calling the place but they never found it. Probably made worse by the fact the ring was the grooms mothers engagement ring and she had picked him out of her 7 sons to take the ring for his fiancé. The groom was very cool about it and she felt really bad but they ended up having to get a lookalike for the wedding a few weeks later.
They're still married years later with kids so it's a happy ending.
My buddy's bucks weekend was after the wedding. We partied in a hotel room for the night then met the bride and her party the next day to stay and party at a house for a few nights.. first night we got super hammered at the hotel, place got totally destroyed, tried to order a stripper to the room, instead a hooker showed up, no one wanted to have sex with her and she didn't speak much English so we had to pay her $400 to leave. Groom fell over on the hotel room floor that was covered in broken glass.. in the morning the groom disappears to a brothel..at the house all the strip joints that we called (it was a lot) to try and get a stripper we're calling back, new wife finds out, takes off the ring and gives it back to the groom.. very awkward. They are still married with two kids.
My best man fell down some steps at a strip club. Another dude picked him up, but his foot must have been wedged under the stair. One almighty crunch later he was back on his drunken feet, only to wake up to this the next day.
We had a big going away party for one of my buddies, as with all groups of soldiers - the night ended at the strip club (yeah I know). Anyways, one of the guys just happened to have gotten married earlier that day. He decided that rather than going home with his lovely bride on their wedding night, he would rather come with us while she went home.
They just announced they're getting divorced, it's been 2 months.
We are Greek-Americans. And not many Greeks actually break plates at weddings. But this bride insisted on breaking plates. So people are dancing and others are breaking plates by their feet. The bride (and others) are kneeling in a circle clapping around the people dancing.. and all the plates being thrown.
And as you could guess, a piece hit the bride in the face right under her eye and she started gushing blood all over. Her dress looks like it's out of a horror film. It took a while for the tiny nick to stop bleeding. But it was scary seeing her just start bleeding like that.
Was at a bachelor party years ago, early 20s, for a friend and he got a private room with a stripper and had sex with her. Don't talk to him anymore for other reasons such as him being dead but the marriage fell apart pretty quick
My BIL went go karting for his bachelor's. Came off, face planted, gravel rash all down the side of his face right before the wedding.
He went to hospital and got it bandaged. The dressings didn't come off until the morning of. 100% healed. Doctor was impressed and he lived to the honeymoon.
A friend of mine worked as a bartender and told me that this 26 y/o girl was celebrating her bachelorette party when she saw a video of her fiancé having sex with another woman at his bachelor party. For almost an hour he had to act as this girl's therapist until she stumbled off into the night still depressed at the way things turned out.
Wedding videographer here. I have full on seen people get married, sign the paperwork, and the dude goes off to gave sex with a bridesmaid the wedding night. It's honestly impressive how little time it takes to end that marriage.
My old boss cheated on his bachelor party night, swore all his friends to secrecy, went through with the wedding then told her on the first night of their honeymoon out of guilt. Married and split up within 1 week!
Buddy smashed his face on the first night. He passed out in the hotel wearing socks. Got up to go to the bathroom and slipped on the marble floor. His teeth went through his mouth. Blood everywhere. We called hotel staff to help. EMTs came, and two of us took him to an emergency dentist. He ended up leaving the next day. Worst parts: $8k in dental work, had to have his jaw wired shut, and was scheduled for his first day at a new job three days after the accident.
I used to strip at bachelorette parties. Some brides to be were way too physical in ways I sometimes wondered if marriage at that point was a good idea for them.
My gf went on one where they got a party bus. Everyone was drunk before getting on. They just drove around the town we live in after picking up all the guests (about a 20min drive gets you from one side to the other on a slow day). The toilet on the bus broke early on then started overflowing as people kept using it even after being told not to. 2 people had asthma attacks as they were allowed smoke on the bus but windows didnt open enough to ventilate for 15+ people smoking like trains. 1 person passed out and woke up only to projectile vomit all over the place.
Fights broke out after onboard alcohol supply ran out gf demanded to be dropped home as due to all the smoke her chest became heavily irritated and she couldnt ignore the smell of the busted toilet any longer. She got dropped off and then 2 people off the bus came to our door with her demanding I give them extra alcohol then trying to guilt me by saying its a gift for the happy couple (I planned their entire wedding for free and paid for the dj as a gift) so I just laughed and said no.
A month later they got married (the couple got alot of praise for having such a wonderful wedding on such a budget). 4 months later filed for divorce after one's drug habit came to light along with both realising they were cheating rings around each other.
While smoking outside groom (brother of my fiancé at the time) started hitting on me and wanted to get a blow job off me - literally took his junk out etc. Apologised promptly and put it back after seeing my reaction, saying he's too drunk and excited. But then again, he has been cheating on his wife-to-be throughout their entire relationships, so not a big surprise he did it on their wedding night too. Just never thought it would be with me, I thought siblings partners are off limits for everyone no matter what!
I have the opposite sort of story, my friend "rented" a sloth and had a very quiet party were they fed it sweet potatoes. It was apparently fun and cute.
The sloth came from a conservation organization and you can pay for a "sloth experience" in your home where a guy comes over with the sloth and you hang out for a while.
Totally caused by ME. Drank too much free Champagne (son of a heart surgeon was groom) and I got chucked out of the reception for saying out loud the groom's sister was ugly. Got ousted from the friend group. Totally deserved, I was out of order and extremely drunk.
A worked in a small family restaurant/pub in my small college town while i was in undergrad. We were the classiest "bar" in town, so we had a surprising number of bachelor/bachelorette parties come through. In one particularly bad incident i remember, we were the last stop at the end of a daytime bachelorette party.
They had toured a bunch of wineries/breweries, and most of the participants were trashed by the time they got there (around 4 PM). As soon as they walked in, the bride-to-be disappeared to the bathroom. A few minutes later, we noticed a lot of water begin streaming out under the door. She had puked everywhere, and somehow in the process RIPPED THE SINK OUT OF THE WALL!!! The icing on the cake, her mother in law had to carry her vomit covered butt out of the restaurant. We ended up having to shut down for a few days in order to repair the damage.
Had a distant cousin get arrested on the way into the church to get married.
Credit to the bride. She said it's all paid for let's party. It became an impromptu family reunion. They had the jp marry them a week later
Nothing worse than when one of the friends to the groom had a massive drunken meltdown over the fact that we weren't going to a strip club. Ugly crying and everything.
Our parents should be able––and willing––to protect us and to fight for our best interests. But that's not always the case, and the unlucky ones can spend years seeking mental health counseling to figure out what went wrong.
Our parents are human and they have the ability to disappoint us and devastate us like anyone else. It just hurts a little more, as we were reminded once Redditor banbidoe asked the online community,
"What's the worst thing your parents ever said to you?"
"My family never went on vacations, we couldn't afford them."
"When I was 18 my parents told me that they were going out west to see the Grand Canyon, do some hikes, etc. I exclaimed how cool and fun that would be. Then my dad said, "Oh, you're not going. You're staying here with Sally (16). We're only taking Mary (14) and Jeff (12)."
"I froze for a minute, trying to compute what he said. "Why can't we come?" I finally asked."
"You have summer jobs."
"We can take time off..."
"Well, we just can't afford to take you."
"They had a really fun time without us. I still think about it over ten years later."
"Gotta be when I was 12..."
"Gotta be when I was 12 and my mum told me my uncle fancied me. She said it so matter of factly. Like it was the most natural thing in the world. I've never really been able to get past that."
"10 years later..."
"One month after my sister died unexpectedly, I was having a complete breakdown about it and called my mother for comfort."
"Get over it." She told me, before hanging up."
"10 years later in therapy, I was finally able to trace the start of our relationship breakdown to this moment."
"I hate that phrase now."
"I'm 30 now..."
"My dad telling my brothers (10 & 6 years old) and I (8 years old) over and over again that we should go find a new dad because he didn't want to be ours anymore while ranting and raving after our mom served him with divorce papers. The best part is that he would also tell us "You'll understand why when you're older." I'm 30 now and the only thing I understand is that he's a lunatic."
"They told me..."
"They told me they didn't want me, they wanted a girl so they tried again and got lucky and had the girl they wanted."
"I'm adopted, and at one point my mom said to me "If I had known you'd grow up to be so screwed up I would have picked another child," as if my physical conditions are my fault somehow and my mental disorders aren't at least in part caused by how she raised me."
"That I was faking my depression..."
"That I was faking my depression, and I need to "man up."
"When I was 15..."
"When I was 15, my dad patted my belly and said "put on some weight haven't you?"
"Which is probably not the worst thing in this list, but as I was already struggling with my body image, this was the last nudge I needed to push me into an eating disorder."
"After my sister died..."
"After my sister died, I was in a very dark place mentally / emotionally. The way I dealt with the grief was to keep it bottled up inside - I know it wasn't healthy, but that's how I survived the trauma. My mother was frustrated that I never talked about my sister. I couldn't even say her name or visit her grave. I did attend the funeral, but after that I went back to my silent grief."
"One day, my mother was pushing me to talk about what happened. I was frustrated because I didn't want to talk about it and she wouldn't let it go. My mother told me I disgraced my sister's memory by not talking about her, and it broke me."
"My Dad once told me..."
"My Dad once told me that no girl would love me because I'm fat. That cut me like a knife! There are people who love fat people!"
"Who does he think he is?"
The ones we love the most absolutely know the right buttons to push when it comes to an insult.
Do you have similar experiences to share? Let us know below.
It's human nature to have various opinions about the people we come across.
What sets us apart from heathens is that we keep our judgments to ourselves–especially when they are not of the flattering variety.
The people who probably interact with strangers the most are those who work in any type of service industry, and they should be good about keeping their mouths shut if they don't have anything nice to say about a customer or of their purchases.
But Redditor gracoal gave those who worked in retail the opportunity to share their anecdotes by asking:
"Cashiers of Reddit, what items make you silently judge the people who buy them?"
When it came to the sale of beverages, these Redditors had some interesting thoughts.
"When I worked at the liquor store we only judged people if they came back several times a day."
"Edit: I only did this because it was illegal to sell alcohol to drunk people, when you have someone making multiple trips during a shift they may be drunk, whether or not they where an alcoholic wasn't my concern, but yes I had to judge them."
"When I was drinking heavily every night I’d go to a different store each day so as to avoid judgment lol"
Quality Of Water
"The ethos water at Starbucks. We literally give out free water and it’s way better than the ethos water like sir."
Some of these are examples of how cashiers shouldn't respond to items being purchased.
"This was about ten years ago, but the only time I judged someone was also when I lost a little faith in humanity."
"Guy in his late twenties comes through the line. Belt is filled with junk food; chips, chocolate, popcorn, candy, etc. The whole time I'm ringing him up he's saying how glad he is to be out of the house, that the baby has a flu or something and hes at his wits end."
"Fair enough, I suppose."
"I get to the total, tell him, and wouldn't you know, he's short a few dollars. So what does he put back? The only non-juck food item: children's cold and flu medicine."
"I still judge that man, and I don't even remember his face."
"At the pharmacy I had a guy not buy an epipen for his child with a $50 copay but pay $100 for tretinoin which was not covered for his own acne which, honestly wasn’t that bad. He really could have used an OTC med. I felt sorry for his offspring."
"I bought toilet paper and laxatives at the same time. Teenage cashier looked at it and got the giggles. This got the bagger laughing. I just stood there stupidly pretending it wasn’t funny."
"Not judged as much as hated when people bought dozens of those individually wrapped snack sized cheese slices. At my store we had to scan each one of them."
"🧀 Beep 🧀 beep 🧀 beep 🧀 beep"
A Lesson Learned
"Currently working as a cashier and I was reading thru these thinking 'what was something I really judged people for?'"
"Then I remembered this one customer I judged wrongly. Every morning this one guy would bolt into the store, go to the drink aisle, and come out with 5-6 energy drinks. He would come everyday so one day, I made a joke and said: 'don't drink them all in one setting.'"
"He then proceeded to tell me that it's to help with his ongoing chemo therapy. Stopped judging people based on their items after that one."
It's not always the merchandise that prompted judgment.
Checking The Attitude
"I was a cashier for 3 years, and I can't think of a single thing that anyone bought that I judged them for."
"I certainly judged people for their attitudes, for inappropriately asking for a discount, or for various other petty things, but never for the items they were buying."
"back when i worked nights at a gas station, i had a lady come in wanting a sale that had ended the previous week. when i refused to give it to her she did the whole 'DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?!' bit, and swore her uncle owned the gas station chain and was going to have me fired. i really didn't give a damn. i made $12/hour. i told her go for it. then kicked her out."
"talked to my boss the next day who was a little peeved i didnt give her the discount but said i did the right thing by kicking her out because she doesn't tolerate customers being rude to her staff. never did find out if she really was the niece of the gas station owner, and never got fired. quit a year later for a better paying job."
These former cashiers couldn't be bothered with assessing the behavior or shopping preferences of customers.
"Nothing. Absolutely nothing. I barely pay attention to what im scanning most of the time. You could point a loaded gun at me and leave a note saying you're gonna rob me. So long as I swipe it through and hear a beep, I won't even flinch."
Free From Judgment
"I cashiered at a grocery store for 4 years, same. I never judged people for what they were buying. I did judge people for being rude, for complaining about paying for disposable bags, for eating produce before paying for it, and for lying to my face to save a couple pennies. You can try switching the produce stickers but I can tell the difference between a Fuji and a Sweet Tango."
"Something I always wished people knew that we DO NOT judge people for"
- "having their card declined. If you only knew how frequently this happened all day long. No one cares and I do believe you when you tell me the account has money. I believe you. Cards get declined for all kinds of reasons, all day long. It is not a big deal at all."
- "I do not judge you for bringing a reusable bag from a different grocery store. People seem to think it’s bad etiquette or something and would always apologize for using a trader joe’s bag or something. No one cares. At all. Use whatever reusable bag you like, it’s just a bag."
The Wild Lovers
"I worked as a grocery store cashier many years ago when I was in college. I saw lots of weird stuff, but never judged what people bought, but did judge them if they were a-holes. Even people on wic and foodstamps buying beer or steaks didn't bother me - sometimes you have to enjoy the little things, and who am I to deny or judge someone wanting a small enjoyment if their life is already rough enough?"
"But there was this one time that was freaking hilarious. Late on a weekend night, a really trashy couple were all over each other as they bought a 12 pack of beer and a box of condoms. Hey, at least they were being responsible. But the funniest part was when they came back not 30 minutes later and bought smokes. I still laugh thinking about that."
You never know what a cashier might be thinking, but that shouldn't stop you from buying the merchandise you want for fear of being judged.
Just make sure you treat them all with kindness. Because the positive impression you give will be something that stays with them after a long shift dealing with wacky customers.
The Mandela effect is when multiple people share the same, incorrect memory.
Its name stems from when paranormal researcher Fiona Broome falsely believed that the future president of South Africa, Nelson Mandela, died in prison in the 1980s.
A false memory she shared with a number of others.
Our memories have been known to deceive us, as we might frequently forget someone's name or one of our numerous online passwords.
But when we share a memory that turns out to be false with many others, convincing ourselves it wasn't the truth can be a very difficult ordeal indeed.
Redditor Mysterious_Boat_1701 was curious to hear people's most unsettling experiences with the Mandela Effect, leading them to ask:
"Which Mandela effect freaks you out the most and why?"
A mysterious gym
"Just had one personally."
"Went to a mall where there was supposedly a gym, asked around and nobody that worked at the mall knew what I was talking about."
"Looked around and couldn't find it."
"Come back a few months later and it’s right there in front of my face, you'd have to be strung out to not notice it."
"idk how or when it just appeared but it freaked me out."- prex320278
A "fruit"ful logo.
"That the fruit of the loom logo never had a cornucopia."
"What’s crazy about that one is that someone emailed the creator of the logo about it and he said even he remembers it having one."- mrcock2·
Less well intentioned than they thought.
"I Mandela effected my whole family once."
"Years ago there was a football player on a rival team that always did a dumb celebration after he got a sack and my family and I always hated it."
"One night after he did it my family started trashing the celebration and I said as a joke 'we are all going to feel terrible when we find out he is doing that celebration as a request from a make-a-wish kid'."
"Fast forward to years later and our team is playing that team again."
"The player got a sack and did the celebration."
"I rolled my eyes and said 'I hate that celebration so much' my mom instantly turned and said 'don't say that, he is doing it for a sick kid'."
"'I actually like it."
"So I was like 'what?'"
"'No there is no sick kid', my whole family then proceeded to argue with me'."
"They all vividly remembered reading articles about it, seeing special report segments before games about it, and other information."
"Some of them even thought they knew the disease the kid had and even extra details about why the kid chose that specific celebration."
"They all had these shared memories that they were sure were true."
"I was floored by all this and insisted none of that was true."
"So we looked it up.'
'No kid like that ever existed.'
"They still have trouble wrapping their heads around this one."
"Turned out human memory is not near as reliable as we think"
"It was American Football and the player was Jared Allen of the Minnesota Vikings and his cattle roping sack celebration."
"This was maybe 10 years ago."- AUSpartan37College Football Win GIF by Michigan State FootballGiphy
His eyesight was better than we thought.
"Mr. Monopoly's monocle."- Additional_Day9903
It's not easy being green.
"I have a personal one that to this day a decade later still destroys my mind."
"I had an old(ish) 2001 dodge neon."
"With BLACK SEATS.'
"I drove this car for years and years, like 80,000 miles.'
'All through college."
"I took work breaks in my car, commuted hours every day total, to college and then the opposite direction to work and back."
"I even lived out of this thing on several occasions.'
'The day I go and trade it in, I'm pulling misc things out of the car at the dealer."
'And the seats are GREEN."
"Not even a little."
'Like very unmistakably GREEN."
"In my black Neon, with black interior, that ALWAYS HAD BLACK SEATS."
"My girlfriend then, wife now, goes oh they've always been green."
"EXCEPT THEY F*CKING WEREN'T DON'T LIE TO ME."
"This is still upsetting to this day..... life is a lie and nothing is real."- ZakuLegionWinona Ryder Omg GIFGiphy
An urban legend was born.
"Not a global one, just a family thing."
"Back in 2002 my grandma had her 60th birthday, my father took us home at 10.00pm, ready for bed."
"We, me and brother, were 12 and 14 at this time."
'All went well."
"Over the years, a story was made up that we went missing after visiting the local playground after dinner at said grandma's birthday party."
"Some neighbors help to search us, the whole train of 'missing children in a smal village'-thing."
"Fun fact: we never went missing."
"Dad brought us home, put on 'Toy Story' on tv and left."
"My brother and I heard first about this in 2015.'
"From different people on different occasions."
"'Ah your one of the missing boys'."
"I first thought they were mocking me for a different event.'
"I got lost, but it was 2013, alcohol inflicted, different story."
"But then they ALL tell us the same story about us going missing."
'And the stories are damn close to 'true' in every story my mum is driving around the same neighbors to different locations to search, old wine yard, old mill etc."
"Sometimes I think I got lost on the most brutal way."
"I was lost and changed this plane of existence with another one."
"It sometimes made me think about my whole life."- tjorben123missing kenny mccormick GIF by South Park Giphy
Memories are a fascinating thing.
They can be changed or altered with even the tiniest suggestion.
And making the truth seem less believable than lies.