Secretly, we all fear having birthdays like the one in Sixteen Candles, where nobody shows up and we're forced to deal with how lonely we feel as people. But sometimes, people have things happen on their birthday that put Molly Ringwald to shame.
It stinks to have your special day go sour. Moreover, it hurts, that if whatever happened was bad enough, you will never be able to not associate your birthday with that awful thing.
u/samisatotallycoolguy asked:
What's your worst birthday memory?
Here were some of those answers:
Ruined By Parents
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My mother had just moved us in with our stepdad. It was summer; they met that winter and we moved in in the spring. Yanked us out of our schools and we went to tiny horrible local schools. It was a miserable time and my new stepdad was VERY unpleasant (and it escalated to emotional abuse quickly).
I was not allowed to have contact with any of my friends, the friends I grew up with. No email, nothing.
So they tell me I can have a small birthday party and invite my friends, the ones I miss and grew up with. I'm so excited. They make plans. I make plans. My parents have me clean the entire house and I do it all, happily; I finally felt heard!
The day before, after doing yard work because party, my mum calls me out to the garage and says she's sorry but the party won't be happening. She's contacted my friends parents and it's all off. Why??
My stepdad is having a friend to visit that day. On my birthday.
I was gutted.
The day of? My birthday is not acknowledged beyond a verbal happy bday at breakfast. To the point where when it finally came up during the visit with stepdads friend, this friend looks pretty appalled. "I didn't know it was your birthday" and he seemed so sad and confused.
That night my mum said she and my stepdad were going to a coffee place. I asked to come; maybe a donut? No. "You can stay here right?" That stupid pleading mom face where they ask your permission not to prioritize you.
It sucked. A super sweet 15 lol.
Definitely Not Great In The Moment
I had recently moved as a child and had a really rough time of getting friends. On my first birthday party there, I had 3 sorta-friends come over to our house. It was the first time I ever had my own friends over.
During the "happy birthday" song, my oldest sister came downstairs, shoved her hand into the middle of the cake my mom made, then left. I don't remember the consequences or if she even got any, but I remember that sinking feeling of embarrassment and hopelessness.
In the years to come, those friends did in fact become my best friends for a while.
A Series Of Unfortunate Events
My birthday last month. I was pretty depressed, everyone forgot my birthday, I got my period without any pads available, I forgot my lunch at home, and when I texted my friends asking if they still wanted to hang out after I had made some plans with them, it turns out they weren't able to show up anymore. So I took a bath, which broke the freaking faucet somehow, and then went to eat some of my birthday cake (made the day prior, and of which I had had only one slice) and discovered my brother had eaten it all. I know it's not super deep or anything, but that was a stupid day.
Nurses Need To Be More Qualified
On my tenth birthday, I broke my arm in P.E. from superman-ing into the cinder block wall. I might have had a concussion, but when I went down to the nurse, she sent me back to P.E. with an ice pack. Luckily, since it was my birthday, my mom was at the school to eat lunch with me, and diagnosed it in 2 seconds from asking me to hold her car keys and me not being able to. I had gone into shock and was pale as a ghost at this time.
Every year on my birthday, my mom gets a Facebook memory of a picture of me and the nurse, at the hospital, with my arm in a soft cast. Other than breaking my arm, my birthday was pretty great since I got the presents I wanted.
A Negligible Amount Of Money To Some
For my 11th birthday, i got my first camera, my dad took me to Argos to pick one out. He said the limit was £70, but the camera little me wanted was £85; it was this little Canon digital thing. He bought it then just came out with "Happy birthday J, because that camera was £85, you owe me £15." He said this in front of all of the staff, and continued to pester me for the money for another month before my mum found out what was going on and told him to stop.
Casual Violent Crime On My Birthday
Went to a friend's party on my birthday (my parents wouldn't let me have one), lots of people gatecrashed including a few rough lads who were smoking weed in the persons house, the persons dad who presumably owned the house came downstairs and politely asked them to leave, they told him to sod off and stabbed him.
But Why Do We Gender Bikes?
When I was 8, my godmother bought me a bike - a girl's bike - for my birthday. It was pink and had streamers.
She meant well. My parents explained that she chose it because it was the bike she always wanted when she was a little girl, but never got.
Still, it was hard as an 8-year-old boy to pretend I was happy with it knowing friends would tease me about it.
A Long List Of Disappointment
When I was little, one of my "friends" literally threw a screaming fit and clung on for dear life when her parents tried to get her out of the car to attend my party.
When I was 18, my mum forgot because it was also Easter, then I got stood up by the friends who were supposed to be meeting me at a bar.
There was also one year I'd just moved to a new city, knew nobody, so I took myself to the cinema for a Keanu Reeves film. The projector broke about ten minutes in.
Most of my birthdays have ended up being just forgettably mediocre.
The Last Laugh
Family forgot my 14th birthday. I quietly told them at the end of the day. My dad yelled at me for not speaking up sooner, while my mom denied she forgot and was just "waiting" for the surprise. The surprise was $10 in a brown sack lunch bag.
For context, that same year my sister's 15th birthday took place in a country club and she got a brand new car she wanted even though she couldn't drive for another year.
I got the last laugh though because I'm 100% independent from my family and happy, while my sister is 39, divorced, and has been living with my parents for the past 4 years to "save up" although she still spends all her and my parent's money on designer clothes.
Stolen
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Having a party the night before (to be like YAY happy birthday at midnight) and having my wallet stolen. I spent the entire next day, my birthday cancelling my cards and calling my friends to make sure no one had seen it anywhere or has it or know who might have it.
As a bonus, my birthday is September 11, so you can imagine how EVERYONE likes to point that out like I had no idea it's 9/11. "Hey your birthday is on 9/11" oh that's right! I forgot!
The excuses people use to dismiss behavior range from mundane and meaningless to the sort of leaps normally reserved for kangaroos and Olympians. It's sometimes amazing that these excuses work - but they do.
Some of them work so well that they're just sort of "accepted." That, obviously, kind of sucks and is something we should avoid - so let's talk about 'em.
Can't swerve around what you don't see, ya know?
Reddit user TMTtasmachine asked:
What's the biggest excuse used for a-hole behavior that shouldn't be accepted as much as it is?
... and away we go.
Jerk Privileges
" 'That's just how they are.' "
"One of the biggest enablers for tantrum throwing, bullying, etc. is that they get treated with kid gloves to avoid dealing with them." - alexrt87
"Oh my God you hit the nail on the head. Whenever someone says 'that's just the way they are' I say:"
" 'Yes, that's the point! Glad you noticed too! Now is it okey-doke for them to be jerks they have special jerk privileges? Or maybe they are just people and should treat everyone else as such?' " - notatrumpchump
"It depends on how it's said."
"People are the way that they are, and you shouldn't be surprised when they continue to be that way."
"This, obviously, doesn't excuse it - but people also shouldn't be surprised when a bad person continues to make bad decisions. Neither should we waste space in our minds being bothered by it." - unlawfulfoxy
Harassment Isn't Humor
season 2 lol GIF by ShamelessGiphy" 'It's just a joke, bro.' Harassing people isn't humor." - loading__99
"Schrödinger's Douchebag"
"A guy who says/does offensive things and decides whether he was joking based on the reaction of people around him." - Eatsleeptren
"Dude, legit had someone come up to me and start shouting in my face, calling me Madison, pretending I was cheating on him. Literally the most crowded location outside a theater, everyone staring at us, looking at me like I was some horrible cheater while I was out with my then fiancé."
"I started hyperventilating, my fiancé nearly decked the dude, and then someone shouts 'CUT' like this is some big 'YOU'RE ON CANDID CAMERA' moment and everything's supposed to be okay."
"I burst into tears."
"It was the most humiliating moment of my life, and thank god my then fiancé, now husband is not the type to overreact or jump to conclusions, or be abusive. Imagine how bad that could have been for someone with an angry or abusive partner."
"Prank videos are a plague on the internet and there is a REASON so many of them are fake, or involve actors." - Darkovika
Stay Sober, Then!
Drunk Drinking Beer GIFGiphy" 'I was drunk / high / etc.' "
"Then don't drink?! Stay sober if you can't NOT be an a**hole!" - BasedBenjamin
"Alternately, I hear a lot of 'I'm a happy drunk!' "
"Yeah, according to your drunk a$s. That doesn't mean you're not an ahole. Not remembering is not an excuse either." - PepeBabinski
"I was that guy. I swore I was a 'happy drunk' - and I was. It was everyone ELSE who was miserable while I was happy."
"I was also loud, obnoxious, and I wouldn't remember sh*t the next day."
"Quitting drinking has been one of my best choices of my life." - TTungsteNN
"Help"
new girl coach GIFGiphy" 'I'm just trying to help you' " - Miserable-Air1234
"Every time I've heard this, they're manipulating me while helping only themselves." - mykittenfarts
"My Mom to a T. Everything she does is better than anyone else's and she always gets pissed that people don't praise her for 'helping.' "
"She's now a certified (by herself) psychic and I have come to the conclusion that she's not a covert narcissist but an obvious one. I really wish I was joking." - Silent_Discussion657
Parenting Problems
Leave Me Alone Run GIF by TLC EuropeGiphy"Any variation of 'I'm a Mother/parent.' "
"Had some lady cut me in line at a coffee shop and she hit me with 'I'm a single Mom of 3!' as her excuse."
"Ok? And? I was still here first." - maid-for-hire
"I'm a single mom and I f*cking haaaate when other single moms/parents pull that sh*t to get special treatment."
"Last week, I was having a rough morning, my kid was being difficult, and I was running late. I was rude to a cashier over a minor inconvenience."
"Not only did I apologize for my shitty behavior, I wrote corporate to let them know how professional and patient she was while I acted like a f*cking toddler."
"Was being a parent part of the reason I was frustrated? Absolutely. Was it an excuse for that behavior? HELL no."
"I acted like a b*tch, and I called myself out, and I apologized. I still feel bad about that - I rarely let things get to me to the point I snap at others." - ClusterfckyShtshow
"Wow. I'm a Mom as well and tired but it doesn't give anyone a right to use it as some sort of ploy to get away with stuff."
"Like, mice become Moms about 12 times a year. You're not special 🤣" - SpoonLoops
Believing Your Boss
The Office Monday GIF by 20th Century Fox Home EntertainmentGiphy"I had a boss say some really racist sh*t around me one day and the next day, out of nowhere, he says:"
" 'Don't believe half the things that come out of my mouth!' "
"It was not really an excuse, more like trying to cover for himself after the fact, but still stuck with me." - sirlongbottom441
"Report them to HR. Seriously." - kokichi--ouma
"Looking past the racist stuff for a bit, that's not a very encouraging thing to hear from a boss…" - WonderfulBlackberry9
Bad Day Again
Bad Day Reaction GIF by Schitt's CreekGiphy" 'I'm having a bad day/week' "
"Okay, so you decide everybody that you interact with deserves the same fate? Get out of here, dude." - myordinaryexistence
"We all got stress, don't take it out on me. I get some people have stress bad enough for it to be passable every once and a while (family member passing, etc) but general, stress should not lead to you being a jerk to me." - willsimpforfree
"Damn, I'm definitely guilty of this. Usually I remember to apologize after but at this point I've learned to just avoid the situation in the first place by minimizing my interaction with people if I'm in a shitty mood." - nozzzrul
"Reminds me of when that White boy went on a murder rampage and killed a bunch of Asian women & that a-hole sheriff gave a press conference telling the media that the 'poor boy had a bad day.' "
"My idea of a bad day involves going home after a rough day at work and just staying in the house."
"Apparently, I should change my ethnicity from Asian to White and go on a murder rampage, see if my @ss gets a sympathetic sheriff to say on my behalf that I had 'a bad day.' " - kingkazul400
It's Not An Excuse
Season 2 Reaction GIF by FriendsGiphy"This won't go down well, but using depression as an excuse. As someone who suffers from it, it's still not ok to treat others like sh*t" - Rainbowwallstickers
"Could not agree enough. My partner has a 'friend' who treats everyone like sh*t all the time, has no consideration for others and openly mocks people in public."
"She gets so much grace from those around her under the guise of her 'mental health.' It's so infuriating watching an adult woman never have to take responsibility for her actions." - 34boor
"I get there are some things you can't control, but you are still responsible for keeping that sh*t in check and if you're aware of your mental illness, you should be aware of how you approach people and situations."
"I'll admit I used to be guilty of using my mental illness to be an @ss, but now I'm trying to better myself" - VeeSquibbles
Florida Gonna Florida
Looney Tunes Florida GIFGiphy"People are letting Florida off the hook way too damn much. And I live in Florida."
"Just because it's hilarious doesn't mean it isn't still completely f*cked up." - AlphaWhiskeyOscar
"The phrase 'Florida Man' is almost always followed some heinous way a Floridian is being an a$$hole." - PepeBabinski
"I'm also originally from Florida, and that state has serious problems. We need to pay attention to it." - [Reddit]
Moment of honesty ... as a Floridian ... yeaaaah, I'm gonna have to agree with that last one.