Let's be real, we're all been sitting around at work and had that moment where we came to accept that YUP it's time to move on. It doesn't always have to be something dramatic, but when you know you know... ya know?
Reddit user cardinalwren asked:
What's a red flag that you need to find a new job?
OK so listen, please y'all remember that there are almost always other jobs and other opportunities there if you work and plan for it. Do not sacrifice your mental health or physical safety for a job not one second longer than you absolutely must.
With that said, let's get ready to rumble...
Go Away
Ferris Buellers Day Off Smile GIFGiphy"My last job had a number of red flags. My breaking point was when I couldn't enjoy time off due to stressing out about work." - ProscuittoSuit
"This is a big one that a lot of people ignore."
"If you can't have a week off without spending it worrying about what is going on in your absence, then the job sucks - UNLESS you're the owner, in which case that's very much your responsibility to find people you can trust to run the place while you're away."
"I used to have a job where if you took a week off, you'd spend the next 2-3 weeks trying to fix the mess that you came back to."
"That is the result of a bad management structure and organization. Employees should be able to take their time off without regretting it when they come back."
"If your employer has a 'yeah you can take your time off, but you'll be making that time up when you return' sort of set up then you should get the f*ck out of there." - LetsNotBeTooHonest
"I hear that. I had my one day off yesterday. Came back in to dozens of half-finished jobs and demanding customers. My first thought was: 'I should have used my day off to shoot myself.' Yeah, that's not healthy." - MrHermeteeowish
"Had a job one where they would call me on my off time to reprimand me."
"Once called me right before a college class to accuse me of theft, only to find the money 10 minutes later exactly where I told them."
"Constant anxiety at work, constant anxiety at home. When I finally got fired I felt relief. F*ck those kinds of bosses." - Abigboi_
Hoping For The Worst
Bill Murray Sigh GIF by Groundhog DayGiphy"I used to drive to work with the not-so-suppressed feeling that I wouldn't mind being involved in an accident that resulted in my hospitalization. Perhaps a couple of broken legs and a long but achievable recovery, because then I'd get a few weeks or months off."
"At the same job I had a colleague who said he didn't bother looking when he crossed the road because it didn't matter to him."
"Somehow I didn't pick up on it at the time but that place was not good for anyone working there." - LetsNotBeTooHonest
"Yup, this one. Friend told me he realized he had to get out when he started contemplating stepping into traffic on the way to work. I decided to put more energy in my job hunt when I found myself doing the same." - ichemistried
"A different take on the same thing - my old roommate talked all the time about hating his job but mostly jokingly - but it was good money and he figured that's just how work life is."
"One day he fell down the stairs at the train station on his way to work and ended up with a pretty brutal concussion and broke his wrist.
And his literal very first thought was "at least I don't have to go to work" and that's when he realized it wasn't normal to hate your job that much." - PhiloPhocion
Shakeups
Giphy"An unusual amount of coworkers, especially higher ups, are leaving the company." - TheBassMeister
"This is a big one. I've been through a dozen or so reorganization efforts at different companies. If there's a shakeup in senior leadership, I take that as a massive red flag that I need to fire up LinkedIn or start emailing contacts about job prospects." - Kooky_Finding8516
"This is a big one. I've seen it play out in two different companies. When the senior folks are leaving it's either the culture/ownership is toxic or a major shakeup is about go down.
An extra red flag if they're leaving the industry altogether." - Desperate_Pineapple
Not A Robot
The Wave Dancing GIFGiphy"If you have PTO and sick leave but they never let you take it and make you feel bad when you do." - Spider7895
"My job has a very strict attendance policy that includes sick time. You get 3 occurrences a year which includes everything from family emergencies, bereavement, to sick time."
"Anything over the 3 occurrences and it's a write up."
"My breaking point was being harassed about a doctors note to include the first day that I was too sick to get out of bed, let alone see a doctor. When I called the nurse to have them adjust the note, I ended up bawling my eyes out because the nurse apologized to me for having to deal with management like that."
"F*ck sick shaming. I'm not a robot I'm a human being." - HappyOtato
A Very Red Flag
red flag GIF by Steve Harvey TVGiphy"When they don't have enough funds to cover payroll. That was a very red flag" - hmbrandvfvsa
"Yep! If they say 'We have to hold your paychecks for [any time whatsoever]' then they are this >< close to closing their doors."
"That's a company with so little money that they're dipping into their operating costs for cash flow (payroll being one of the biggest of these.)" - Empty-Masterpiece242
"Oh ya. Leave yesterday if that ever happens ." - Jert3
More Work
Happy Jim Carrey GIFGiphy"When they continue to pile work on you, and don't up your pay or benefits."
"The downside to actually giving half a f*ck and doing a good job often means you'll have the work of others dumped on you, cause 'you do such a good job.' " - TheGoodJudgeHolden
"The reward for good work is more work" - Juker93
"Aaaaand this is why I am searching for a new job at the moment."
"I carry the responsibility of at least 3 people and don't get paid nearly enough (about $8/hr below the low end average pay for my position) to invest in ways I can decompress when I'm not at work. Time to go." - Emilybohbemily
Bad Boss
The Golden Path Boss GIF by The Chemical BrothersGiphy"If your boss doesn't support you. If they are quick to anger and/or always assume the worst... you constantly feel like you have to defend yourself, and nothing you do is good enough."
"You probably ARE good enough; they just don't like you and it doesn't matter how hard you try. The more you work, the more you achieve, the more you are determined to change their mind, the more you are positive and resilient, the more it will just piss them off."
"You're likely smarter and more talented and they feel threatened by you." - SmellyZelly
"I just left a job like this. Everyone in the company hated the boss and he always felt he knew more about our roles than we did...he didn't, though."
"This led us to really not putting in extra effort because when we did we were told to 'stay in our lane' but if we didn't put in extra effort then we were constantly asked what we did all day and even had to track our time and how long projects took."
"Dude was crazy and a bad manager/leader/business owner. I rage quit, everyone else I worked with was actively seeking new work. I was lucky that I had something to fall back on." - DizzySecretary4711
The Best Questions To Ask During A Job Interview | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
Freeze!
freeze GIFGiphy"I work for a university and when the pandemic hit, they implemented a job freeze. Managers have to make a case for why they need someone."
"My previous department is chronically short staffed and has been holding an employee hostage because she got another position within the university. Her position has been posted twice and no one has applied for it. It's been 3 months."
"I was glad to escape, but my current department is down by half. I haven't been there long and it's been so stressful because the workload is insane and the learning curve is steep."
"I'm prone to depression and can feel myself sinking. I've been looking at jobs outside of the university but am too mentally exhausted to apply." - puffityfluffity
"Bruh. I work the Security Ops for a university. We can't keep people over 2 weeks since the higher-ups added so much to our workload cuz of a freeze."
"We haven't had a full team since last February."
"Not to mention it's a worker's market out there right now, so pay-wise we're just too much for too little pay. I'd leave too if I weren't getting free classes to finish my degree."
"I used to love this job." - MildMantis
Training Your Boss
Come On Reaction GIF by NBAGiphy"You had to train your new boss" - LegoMyAlterEgo
"I worked for a government department and took a temporary promotion in a line of business I was very good at."
"I took on a team of new staff, trained them and got them over 3 months to competency. I didn't receive a job of training or support for doing so."
"To fill my role permanently, my department recruited from a shortlist that had been in existence for 6 months. I couldn't apply, my performance wasn't considered, I was to be demoted back down against everyone's wishes."
"They brought in someone with no relevant knowledge in the line of work or management experience. I trained him up and promptly left." - Dontbesouritsanewday
Baby Breaks
its happening now lena dunham GIF by Girls on HBOGiphy"When I was pregnant I was harassed and made fun of."
"When it came time to get maternity leave, I was only given 3 weeks off. My boss said she didn't care what the law was, she was above it."
"They made sure to call me to make sure that I was coming back almost everyday. When I finally returned, I was told that I could not pump my breastmilk. My daughter was exclusively breast fed at the time."
"I was told it was my duty to answer the phones and that pumping should be done on a lunch break. I ended up soaking clothes and bras and losing my milk supply."
"Thank god I no longer work that job, it was highly toxic and the women were just nasty and catty. Heaven forbid you wore the wrong outfit or wrong brand of clothing." - Tapdncn4lyfe2
Money Is The Whole Point
Pay Me Kim Kardashian GIF by GQGiphy"Not making any money."
"I'm a newly licensed Realtor. I know they say the first year is hard as is and add in this market to be extra difficult... But I haven't made any money since April (been licensed since September)."
"I still don't think I've even made profit yet. All the fees to join Realtor associations and get access to the MLS. Not to mention showing clients houses and then they get frustrated that their offer isn't getting accepted."
"That's so much wasted time and gas that I get zero compensation for. I don't want to be a quitter but I feel like it's all uphill." - Madam-Savage
A Whole List
Billy Ray Cyrus Scroll GIF by 2020 MTV Video Music AwardsGiphy"I recently left a job I was in for six years. To summarize, these were my red flags:"
- "Hours were awful due to rapid growth of the company coupled with the inability to hire and keep experienced people. This piled more work into less and less people. I'd regularly work 12 hour days during most weeks, as well as longer during busy season (January through may). I'd have to work Sunday on my own time because I'd get so distracted with daily meetings during the week it was impossible to get actual work done."
- "None or the firm's systems worked, despite hiring an entire group to manage them. This led to a lot of manual workarounds that caused more inefficiencies"
- "Management expected perfection despite ridiculous workloads, tight timing, and very low staff. You'd have billion dollar funds being sent back down the review queue for $1 rounding variances. To people with a no financial background, that's absurd and a complete waste of time."
- "Management was manipulative. They would always phrase things in a way that made it sound like everything was your fault. It's your fault something didn't get done on time, not the fact that you have the workload of 6 people and the systems don't work. Then it would hit your performance."
"So yeah, if you experience any of the above please leave. I'm a few months out of that job now and couldn't be happier. Don't stay in a job that makes you miserable." - CalmDecision9770
Turnovers - But Not The Pastry Kind
Over It Starz GIF by Run The WorldGiphy"When people don't last past the 6 month mark. The department that I work in at my hospital has a high turnover rate of nurses and medical assistants."
"This is mostly due to the fact that management has never changed and there is a lot of catering to doctors that have been there for 20+ years and want to make them happy by continuing doing archaic practices that are no longer used."
"This is a cancer center. So many patients fall through the cracks or have died because of how awful management is." - depressed_popoto
The Old Timers
raise get GIFGiphy"People have been working there for 10+ years and never got a raise. That's a sign to run." - TheGrizzlyNinja
"When the longest employed person who worked at a company that has been around for a while, has only been present in the company for 2 years or less."
"Usually it means that there is a high turnover rate and the the entire culture is crappy, if the longest lasting employees have a short time of being there." - radiantheron8679
About The Title
No Thank You GIF by Karen CivilGiphy"My previous job offered me a promotion (higher authority level, more responsibility etc.)"
"When I asked about the pay increase they looked at me as if I was insane and said 'a promotion shouldn't be about a raise it's more about the title' … f*ck a title, if there's more work and more responsibility there should be more money."
"I noped outta there soon after." - ekay333
75%
I Like Yes GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy"When work is on your mind 75% of the time even when you aren't there, but it's out of dread and not because it's your passion."
"Goal: find a job you think about 75% of the time because it is your passion." - cosmic_pharaoh
The Biggest Sign
Say Word Lol GIF by Desus & MeroGiphy"If you opened this thread hoping to find an excuse to leave your current job" - OpaqueDreamer
Honest question... how many of you just realized you need a new job?
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
- People Break Down What Jobs Should Not Exist - George Takei ›
- People Break Down The Biggest Red Flags They've Seen In A Job Interview - George Takei ›
- Factory Workers Describe The Scariest Workplace Accidents They've Ever Witnessed - George Takei ›
- Workplace Red Flags That Scream 'Don't Take A Job Here' - George Takei ›
Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.