Workers Share The Best And Worst Excuses They've Used Or Heard When Calling Out Sick[rebelmouse-image 18362153 is_animated_gif=
People will do just about anything to get a day off of work; a day extra to the weekend. Those days, the "hooky" days are way more fun. Who doesn't want to be Ferris Bueller every once and awhile? You feel powerful and naughty. But in order to make sure you get the day AND to ensure future employment you gotta have a gimmick.
Redditor SluggoBambino wanted the public to share... What's the best and worst excuse you have ever used/ heard used when calling in sick to work? Take a few notes for the future, just hope your boss isn't also reading this.
I told them my cat was sick and had to take it to the vet. I knew my employer was a cat owner so they would empathize.
Plot twist: I don't own a cat.
INTO THE WOODS...[rebelmouse-image 18362154 is_animated_gif=
Years ago my dad said this guy used to call into work all the time, and because this was the government there was not too much they could do. One day the guy called in and said _"I can't come into work, I am lost in the woods" _For reference this was about 20 years ago. Cell phone were not exactly prevalent.
CALL IT...[rebelmouse-image 18362156 is_animated_gif=
I was late to work and said my car battery died and needed to be jumped. I work at a car dealership, so they tested my battery for free. It needed to be replaced. So I paid to replace it, because what was I gonna do? Say no?
I'm not sure if they called my bluff or not. They did show me the results from the test, so it's possible they didn't suspect a thing.
READY PLAYER ONE.[rebelmouse-image 18362157 is_animated_gif=
This doesn't exactly match up but I think it's a good story so I'll share mine.
I'm a super avid Guild Wars player. Played Guild Wars (the very original) since pre-release, pre-ordered every expansion's collector's edition, everything I could. I'm a super fanboy. And Guild Wars 2 came out about 5 years ago - of course I've pre-ordered the collector's edition, played the preview weekends, but on this particular day it goes live......in the middle of a work week. I just figure I'll play what I can then head off to work.
I wake up that morning, play a couple hours, get ready to work. Open up the garage door to pull my car out..........and there's a trench excavated just past my driveway in the street as the city is installing new sewer lines. I literally can't get my car out of the house. I text a picture to my boss and explain I had no idea this was going to happen, and I get to play the game the whole rest of launch day!!!!
LIE SMART PEOPLE![rebelmouse-image 18362158 is_animated_gif=
Had an employee call in once day saying he was going to be late, not sure how late though. He was supposed to be in at 2PM, called around 1:00. Good on him, right, calling an hour early. Asked why, and he said he was in line at the DMV renewing his license. Ok, plan better and don't do that so soon before work you might say?
When he showed up around 4:30, I asked him to sign his write up for being late without an excuse. I know, what a d**k boss I must be right? He tried to protest and argue. I told him you can admit to being late unexcused, or be fired for lying when he called...
Because the DMV isn't open on Sundays.
ENOUGH SAID...[rebelmouse-image 18980266 is_animated_gif=
"I have really bad diarrhea" rarely gets questioned.
T.M.I !!![rebelmouse-image 18980267 is_animated_gif=
A urinary track infection confusion.
I could almost feel the aura of confusion/restrained laughter/disappointment that surrounded my boss on the phone that morning.
REALLY PEOPLE? NOT CUTE.[rebelmouse-image 18980270 is_animated_gif=
Our yard mans wife left a message on the answer phone at about 2:30 in the morning saying he wouldn't be in as he had AIDS, you could clearly hear him drunkenly rambling in the background and she wasn't much better. To be fair it made us laugh so much we let it slide.
CONDOMS CAN BE SUCH AS ISSUE.[rebelmouse-image 18356321 is_animated_gif=
Already used up my PTO and sick days at a job I worked right after college. I was pretty much on the cusp of being fired. Also worked at a bar at nights. After a night of working at the bar I over slept my alarm by a few hours and freaked out. Went into work and my boss pulls me aside to give me the talk. He asked why I was late. I pulled him away from the ladies that worked with us and whispered "I had an allergic reaction... to a condom, and didn't know what to do." It's all I could come up with as I've used up all my other excuses. He looked at me sternly and said _"well I guess that was bad morning... and a good morning? Are you ok now?" _I explained that it seems to have gotten better and would be able to work. Kept my job that day. Quit a week later.
DRINK IN MODERATION.[rebelmouse-image 18350838 is_animated_gif=
I didn't call in sick to work, but when I was young and dumb I went into work hungover, so hungover I literally thought I was going to die, I had mentioned to my manager (who I really got along with) that I thought I had the flu, an hour later I was still in so much pain and misery I s* my pants on purpose and went to my manager and told him that I had shit myself because of the flu and really had to go home, he let me go no problem and gave me a few paid sick days for coming into work in my current state, because it showed determination Lol.
STAY LIMBER...[rebelmouse-image 18980272 is_animated_gif=
Just hang upside down from your bed and let your nose get stuffy. They'll be able to hear it in your voice that you have a bad cold.
THE TRUTH SHALL SET YOU FREE!![rebelmouse-image 18980274 is_animated_gif=
I had a fraternity brother in college who called in sick to his internship the NIGHT of his 21st Birthday. He left his boss a voice mail yelling "HEY [BOSS] I JUST TURNED 21 TODAY! and... I'm currently wasted. SOOO I won't be coming in tomorrow. Sorry. Bye."
And then he just hung up. It was glorious to watch.
OH LORD... SAVE THE DRAMA!![rebelmouse-image 18980275 is_animated_gif=
I have a co-worker who calls in sick a lot and each time is its own broadway production. He always makes it sound as though he's on deaths door. I changed his name to Chuck but what follows is pretty much a transcript of his last call in.
"Hello? It's me... Chuck." Raspy heavy breathing. "I... I... I'm going to... oh God..." Long moaning sound. "I don't... I think that... I'mnotmakingitintomorrow." Loud moaning followed by raspy heavy breathing. "I really, uh, wanted to work today but..." _continues in perfectly normal voice"I just can't. It's coming out of everywhere. I need the day off." Remembers he needs to be doing his sick voice. _"I.. oh God... I can't do this."Moaning. "Can I have the day off or... should I try to make it butyouandIbothknowI'mnotgoingtomakeit." Coughs once for emphasis.
"You're an adult, if you want to use one of your sick days that's up to you."
Perfectly normal voice."Thanks man!"
DON'T JUMP!![rebelmouse-image 18980276 is_animated_gif=
This is an excuse my dad supposedly once used:
Basically he and my mom had just gotten married a few months prior and they spontaneously decided to play hooky one Friday so they could go on a romantic midday excursion to a restaurant in Malibu. Basically they both just decided to lie about having migraines to their respective bosses to get the day off work. My mom's call went fine, but when my dad called in and his boss picked up, he got cold feet about the migraine excuse, thinking his boss wouldn't buy it and abruptly changed his excuse to this: _"hi boss, I'm really sorry, I can't come into work today... oh why, you ask... uh... I have to go to a funeral.... yeah its really sad.... oh whose funeral? oh... its my college buddy's... he went skydiving earlier this week.... his parachute didn't open." _My mom was supposedly stifling laughter on the other side of the room while the excuse was somewhat mindlessly spewing out of my dads mouth. His boss bought it though and supposedly gave him his sincere condolences when he came in the next monday.
STAY AWAY![rebelmouse-image 18978632 is_animated_gif=
In Canada, caught mono while single and it hit its worst on my 19th birthday (Drinking age). I worked a phone job and had to call in sick. Found out everyone thought I was just drunk, so I had a face mask from when I went to clinic and got mono confirmed. Decided to just go to office with face mask on, barely any voice and said "It's mono". They gave me all the time off I needed after that. Neck/lymph nodes were swollen as hell, I looked like death.
DON'T GET CRAZY![rebelmouse-image 18980277 is_animated_gif=
I said my heart was spasming (which it actually does sometimes) but in this instance it wasn't. My boss called and said I couldn't come back into work until I had my cardiologist write a note but when I called into the office the next available appointment was 2 months away. Thankfully my family doctor could go over my cardiologist's notes and wrote me one. So my whole day off that I planned to stay in bed for was spent trying to contact doctors since I couldn't afford NOT going back into work.
EWWW... JUST EWWW...[rebelmouse-image 18356803 is_animated_gif=
Sorry Sarge, I have a bad case of anal glaucoma, and I just can't see my a** coming in today.
THE SKUNK IS STANK![rebelmouse-image 18351356 is_animated_gif=
I'm keeping _"I got sprayed by a skunk" _in my back pocket to break glass in case of emergency. The best part is that they circulate a company wide email saying where everyone is if they're out. They've wrote that people are in court before so I'm pretty sure that they'll just convey that I was sprayed by a skunk without a second thought. I'm not gonna lie, I can't wait to try it out. Fair play to anyone that wants to borrow this for their own use.
IT WORKED FOR THE WICKED WITCH OF THE WEST.[rebelmouse-image 18978580 is_animated_gif=
"It's raining". She lived in a house that had some steps down to the sidewalk and didn't want to carry her baby down them when they were wet. Thanks, we enjoyed our understaffed day.
WELL BLESS YOUR HEART FOREST.[rebelmouse-image 18980279 is_animated_gif=
We had a member of staff call in sick because of sore feet. He was high as hell on weed and standing opposite our shop when he called in .
BE AS VIVID AS POSSIBLE.[rebelmouse-image 18980281 is_animated_gif=
"I'm bleeding like a stuck pig.", or "I have explosive diarrhea"
Nobody usually asks questions after that.
Worst was "I think I broke my ankle." That was at 3am, I was drunk. He was understandably peeved but gave me the day off. Next day I went to the hospital and I had indeed, broke my ankle. Brought in the note while wearing my aircast. I was so drunk I just didn't care and kept walking around on it. Fun times.
Some things are deceptively simple.
Oh, skydiving? That's easy.
Love yourself? Simple.
Who can't open a can of pickles?
ME! ME! That's who. I can't do any of the above simply.
It's all hard. And you know it too.
It's just designed to" look" easy only to bamboozle us.
Approach everything as a burden and live by a motto...
Redditor pterv2112 wanted to hear about the things that are truthfully not so simple.
"What looks easy peasy lemon squeezy but is actually difficult difficult lemon difficult?"
Monopoly. For the life of me, I can't get the hang of that game. I don't care anymore.
Play it...Saturday Night Live Happy Dance GIFGiphy
"Playing the triangle. A lot of my non-musician friends joke about how easy it is to play it. Then they actually hold the damn thing and look stupid."
It's A Lot!
"Work. I'm a lawyer and had a client call saying she needs a help with a merger, but 'don't worry, it's super easy peasy lemon squeezy.' That project took 6 months and I almost had a breakdown. She didn't understand why the bill was so high since it was SO easy."
"Gotta love how the layman lumps all lawyers together as the sleazy snakeoil salesman type without realizing or appreciating the sheer complexity of the legal work involved."
"Dancing. I wouldn't say it looks 'easy,' but when I see people do it, they're so good at it and it flows so well it looks easy. But damn, I just CANNOT get my body to do anything more than a bop and maybe some stupid arm moves. I'm 25 and dance like a 50 year old at a reunion. Dancers are so delicate and make it look so easy, it's honestly amazing. It's just hilarious when I try to do literally anything and fail horribly."
"Whistling with your fingers."
"My cousin taught me when we were in our tweens. It's come in very helpful whistling for the dogs and horses at feeding time."
"What I always wanted to learn was how my grandpa whistled without having to stick dirty fingers in my mouth. Nothing like cleaning stalls, then trying to whistle for horses with sh*t-covered hands. Washing them in near-freezing buckets of water wasn't a first choice either."
It's a...Studying Hand-Made GIF by Philippa RiceGiphy
"Drawing something from memory. Like a bird or something. In mind - yep that's a bird On paper - that's... a bird?"
Drawing birds is impossible; mine look like mules.
Go DeepDigging Blue Collar GIF by JC Property ProfessionalsGiphy
"Digging. Anytime it's shown in movies or TV it looks easy AF but the second you have to grab a shovel and break dirt... bleh."
"A basic physical exam at the doctor. Looks like a simple 'look at the throat' - 'listen to the chest' - 'yup they have a heart all right.' When in actuality Doctors spend thousands of hours practicing it so that when you come in with a murmur or 'Funny-looking-kid-syndrome' they can recognize it immediately."
"And yes, there are entire class sections on how to respectfully ask your patient to turn their head and cough as you push on their testicles (they're looking for hernias)."
"Street names. Everyone thinks it's great fun and likes to offer suggestions but every tree, lake, and other natural feature has at least a dozen variations which you can't repeat for emergency service reasons. That and you get cities which want a street name change anytime the road changes direction regardless of a logical break point like an intersection."
"'Natural' makeup. More work than 'regular' makeup."
"To be honest this reminds me of a video I watched of a visual effects artist explaining his job, If no one notices your work on the footage you've done your job well, its only when you mess up do people notice."
"This is painfully true for a lot of jobs. When nobody notices, it means you did an excellent job but no one will give you credit because they aren't even aware there is credit due. But the moment you slightly f**k up, you're the worst person in your profession."
The SqueezeAs If Lol GIF by MOODMANGiphy
"Making lemonade. Sure squeezing one lemon is easy peasy, but do you know how much juice that makes? Not a lot."
I love Lemonade... the drink and the album... but I have no patience to make it.
Art is subjective.
As much as movies are universally loved, there are some that leave a big question mark.
Sometimes films, plots, and characters make no sense. AT ALL.
And that is uncomfortable for the ego.
Is it art?
Am I just dumb?
Why do I care?
Redditor erin214 wanted to discuss all the movies most of us just don't get.
"What movie do you just not get?"
There are so many movies to bring up. But we don't have all day... let's discuss.
I'm Lostdavid lynch GIFGiphy
"Mullholland Drive. David Lynch once said there is definitely a coherent story and you can figure it out if you just pay attention. I don't believe him."
"The Nut Job. I get that it's a kid's movie and the expectations aren't high but that movie feels 15 years older than it is and it's full of the cheesiest one liners over and over. It feels so low budget yet the cast is nothing but stars."
"It's just mediocre. Saw it once when it came out, laughed about it and enjoyed it then but never have had the urge to watch it again."
So many twists...
"Primer. Can’t follow it. I tried; I even looked up the diagrams. I cannot follow that movie for the life of me."
"I think it's just ok to not get it all. When I watch Primer I don't try to follow it all, I just understand the gist of it and understand that it does all make sense on paper and enjoy the show. Don't get too caught up in following all of the twists, it's too clever for it's own good. Really great movie, though."
"I consider myself a mild movie buff and pay attention diligently when watching any movie. But when I watched I’m Thinking of Ending Things with Jesse Plemons I had no sweet clue what was going on."
"In a nutshell: the only 'real' character in the movie is the old janitor who freezes to death at the end. Everything else is his delusional fantasy of how his life could/should have been, mixed with memories of the grim reality of why it turned out the way it did. We're observing his thought process."
Headaches...Screaming Jennifer Lawrence GIF by mother!Giphy
"I feel like mother is how I feel during a migraine. Everything is happening way too fast and I have no idea what’s going on."
Mother. Oh brother. That movie.
Bad MouthChristian Bale Oooo GIFGiphy
"American Psycho. It’s one of my favorite movies so I’m by no means bad mouthing it, but that ending drives me insane. I can’t figure it out. It makes no sense to me. What was the point supposed to be?"
Second Time Around
"Just to clarify, I didn't (don't) hate the movie, I even found the plot cool. But when trying to give it sense, I can't, because a don't fully get it."
"I actually liked it better the second time and I think it's because I watched it on a crappy sound system that drops all the low end bass and is mostly mids and highs, making the dialogue easier to hear. The basic entropy reversal premise is still too stupid to consider interesting or clever though. I can't suspend my disbelief in that idea."
I see the light...
"The Lighthouse. But I still loved it."
"I think it's about a man who is mentally ill and gets isolated along with someone he cannot stand, middle of the movie he does say that a coworker died and the film indicate that he killed him, which explains the scene where he smokes a cig by the beach and see all those logs approaching and he sees a body and he walks right towards it, maybe he regrets what he had done, his mind is certainly playing tricks on him, that's just my take."
"Cloud Atlas. I’m pretty sure you need to go on a mushroom samba to understand it."
"The book makes more sense. It's weird because there is a whole lot in the movie that is lifted very faithfully from the book but there are lots of little intangible bits that don't translate onto the screen well."
"I loved this one! I can see it's a confusing movie, though."EmileWolf
Jake AlwaysBlack And White Movie GIF by hoppipGiphy
"Donnie Darko. Do I really need a website, a book, and a director’s cut to understand a movie? A little exposition, please."
"I love this film and have seen both versions a number of times over the years. I can't explain it though, it's just a vibe I guess. Like that feeling you get when you've just woken up from a vivid dream and haven't adjusted to reality yet."
So many of these movies are on my list. It's them not us.
They say it's hard for workers to get fired from their jobs. That is unless, of course, the employee is self-sabotaging and has nothing at stake.
While there are many unemployed people desperately looking for work, there are apparently just as many of those who want nothing more than to leave a situation that makes them miserable, despite having a steady paycheck.
Curious to hear about terminated employees, Redditor bartertownbeer asked:
"What is the fastest you have ever seen a new co-worker get fired?"
Fired? How about arrested?
"During their onboarding training, they stole my bosses wallet on camera.... 1 hour in.."
Right Place, Wrong Time
"This is the opposite route here but I found it amusing. My boss was out of town and I managed a tea shop near a Starbucks years ago. This kid came in (foreign) and said he was supposed to start today. We were hiring and I trained him etc. My boss came back two days later and had no idea. The kid was in the wrong place but he stayed with us. Hired on the spot without even applying."
"We had a recent college grad that would use his corporate card for personal purchases. He figured that the company would just keep deducting from his payroll until it was paid off. He was fired after three months of constant reminders to stop doing it. I don’t think it qualifies as the fastest, because he lasted three months, but it was so idiotic."
The Longest Errand
"I work construction. We had 2 new hires that were friends starting the same day. Boss told one take a coffee order and come back. Took everyone's money and said he needed his friend to go with him cause it was a big order. They never came back."
"A 19 year old kid got hired to work the seafood counter. See him twice and then never again. Asked a coworker what happened."
"He had closed seafood one night and was walking out of the store and the 5 pounds of crab legs he'd stuffed down the back of his pants fell out in front of the closing manager."
Being under the influence at work never ends well.
"New guy drove a forklift into a fire hydrant, in front of a safety rep for the company. His supervisor was called over, and he immediately tells the supervisor that he won’t pass a piss test, as he used his only bottle of clean piss earlier that day when he hired in."
"Everybody standing there immediately burst into laughter, which continued as security (also laughing) escorted him off site. Even the supervisor was all smiles...just gave him a pat on the back and wished him the best of luck. It was wild."
"I worked in a bar and a new girl started. At work, she seemed a little rough but was fine."
"One day she finished a shift, sat at the bar and ordered a red wine with lemonade and ice in it (not really relevant to the story; just shows she is clearly insane). Her boyfriend came in, they had a huge domestic in front of my manager and several customers and she threw her drink over her bf and dramatically stormed out."
And That's Why We Don't Hire Off The Street
"Worked at a steel processing plant (polishing, cut to length, etc) Everyone started off as temps, some for years, before getting hired in. Management decided they were short-staffed and the solution was to start hiring people full-time off the street."
"So this dude starts, full-time on day one, full benefits, more money, getting trained by temps who've been there for months, if not years. Everyone is mad resentful of this dude, obviously."
"Halfway through his second day he gets escorted out for testing positive for coke on his drug test."
"They didn't hire any more dudes full-time off the street."
Competence is of utmost importance. Having brains is a good place to start as well.
Fast Food, Faster Firing
"Heard this from a manager I worked with when I worked in fast food. There was this one kid who didn’t show up for work. He ditched work often, so the manager called around, couldn’t get anyone to fill in his shift, so she had to fill it for him."
"A few hours into his shift, the dude ditching SHOWS UP, with his friends, and orders food from that manager. She fired him on the spot."
Careful Who You Denigrate
"First day of work, he walks in, says 'what the f'k is up dumba**' to the guy that parked next to (didn't touch) his new Camaro he bought since he got hired."
"The guy was the CEO of the company I used to work for, on visit to our branch."
"Literally ten minutes into his shift he was signing release papers."
"Worked in a grocery store for awhile: new guy took a lobster out of the tank and removed the elastic bands on its claws, then proceeded to put it back in the tank. The thing murdered all the other lobsters in the tank."
Up In Flames
"Guy had been working a few days at a barn. Decided to smoke right by bales of hay. Manager saw him and fired him right on the spot. At farms, you don’t f'k around with fire."
Remember when I mentioned how it's difficult for people to get fired?
Yeah, let's scratch that.
Apparently, it's super easy.
A trial can hinge on one simple piece of information.
All it could take for a suspect to walk free or go to jail for the rest of their lives is one single fact.
With this in mind, some lawyers will do their best to make sure that this information is buried, legally and ethically one hopes, and will never be brought up in trial.
However, for this to happen, Lawyers will still need to know this piece of information from their clients, as it otherwise could be brought up by the prosecution, effectively ending the case.
"Lawyers of Reddit, what is a detail that your client failed to bring up to you that completely lost you the case?"
The Whole Truth...
"Opposing counsel: 'Isn’t it true you hit Victim in the face with a brick?"'
"Client: 'No. Marcus hit him with the brick. I hit him in the back with a piece of wood'."- lizard96golf
Thought She Was Being Clever...
"A buddy of mine case as a public defender."
"A gal was busted on drug charges, and told him she didn't have any drugs on her when they arrested her."
"He thought, ok we'll use that."
"Turns out, she didn't have any drugs on her when they arrested her because she just sold them to an undercover cop."- CheapCigars
Choice Of Clothes Can Make A Difference...
"My house was robbed."
"In addition to all the stuff the thief took, he also stole a bunch of my suits and all of my neck ties."
"I had a big collection, like 100 or so."
"However, the thief left fingerprints on a hard plastic box that I kept spare change in."
"Fast forward 3 months, the thief is caught in the act of robbing another house in the same neighborhood, same detectives on my case and this new theft."
"They fingerprint the guy and the fingerprints match the ones from my house."
"At the thief’s arraignment, I see him stroll in wearing my suit and my tie."
"I tell the district attorney, he says there’s really no way to prove it."
"However, the tie he chose to wear was a one of kind street map of San Francisco and I still had all the documentation to prove it."
"The district attorney’s eyes widen and he informs the judge."
"The judge has the thief placed under arrest again for possession of stolen property."
"The thief’s lawyer was dumbfounded."
"It was a nice end to a rough situation!"- West-Operationsuit and tie johnny bananas GIF by 1st LookGiphy
Never Depend On Technicalities
"Obligatory not my client."
"Company I worked for at the time was doing due diligence before acquiring a small tech startup."
"The COO of the tech startup was a well-liked guy in the company, friendly and outgoing."
"Though we had heard rumblings that the COO was rather hands-on with the work and with female employees."
"Apparently there was a walk-away package proposed to the COO that would let him keep a sizable portion of his post-acquisition bonus because a young woman who worked in their sales department had filed HR complaints against the COO and obtained counsel."
"I sat in on the meeting with the COO and the company's retained lawyers while they grilled him about his contacts with the young woman."
"The COO denied ever having contact with her within the company without multiple other people present, those people said his behavior toward her in the meetings didn't raise any flag."
"The COO emphatically denied having any contact with her outside of work."
"The lawyers asked the question a half-dozen different ways and each time the COO denied any out of work contact."
"Later we meet with the woman and her lawyer with the COO not present."
"Her lawyer gives us a rather graphic card that came with a bouquet of flowers addressed to her from the COO."
"The guy had an account with a florist linked to his credit card."
"When the company-retained lawyers confronted him he said, 'but I never had contact with her'."
"'It's not like I delivered the flowers myself'."
"COO got terminated for cause so no walk-away package."
"At her request the woman was given PTO until after the acquisition then moved to another one of the companies under our umbrella."- GuiltyLawyerseason 5 episode 21 GIFGiphy
Who Exactly Am I Talking To?
"We got to the deposition of my client and all set up."
"The first question is 'please state your name'."
"The client looks at me and says 'can we take a break?'"
"We do and she pulls me out in the hall to tell me she's lied to me about her identity."
"She's apparently a serial fraudster and has changed identities 7 times since the 90s."
"She apparently thought the other attorneys had some how figured it out and that's why they asked the question."- Philosopher422
It's The Little Ones That Get You...
"Minor traffic cases can be the worst for this, believe it or not, because they are short and simple and often times the client isn't there, so if you get blindsided by something critical there's often no chance to consult with them to turn things around."
"I had a simple speeding case, 70mph in a 55."
"No big deal, if she does a driving improvement course they court will usually dismiss or reduce those, since her driving record wasn't bad."
"When I showed up for her, I found out that she had been driving 70 up an unplowed snow lane, to get around all the others cars traveling in the lane that had been plowed because they were driving too slow."
"I didn't know it was even possible to drive 70 on fresh snow."
"The officer stated he'd already cut her a break by not writing the ticket for reckless driving, and the judge politely agreed he didn't feel comfortable reducing it under those circumstances."
"When I called her up after court to confirm, she did, claimed she'd just forgotten to mention it."
"Now maybe I've lived too much of my life in the south, but that just boggles my mind as a detail you'd forget when hiring a lawyer for that incident."
"I would have told her in advance that hiring us was a waste of money, not to mention the hassle of taking an 8 hour class, and she should probably just go ahead and pay this one."
"I legitimately do that all the time during consults."
"Give my honest assessment if the case is even worth doing, and so by omitting that detail she harmed herself for no reason."
"At least she took it well and didn't get defensive."- AmberWavesofFlameDriving Get Away GIF by Zella DayGiphy
Despite the longstanding negative connotations which come with them, lawyers are there to help you.
So it's always the best decision to tell them the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, especially if you're paying for their services.
That, or just obey the law so you won't need one.