People Who Work In Someone's Home For A Living Describe The Most Bizarre Thing They've Ever Seen
People treat their homes as their sanctuaries - so having a job that takes you into peoples homes gives you a glimpse into things that the rest of the world may not get to see.
Sometimes you kind of wish you didn't either.
One Reddit user asked:
We expected stories about adult toys or humiliating family portraits or something - Reddit gave so much more. Proceed with some caution - it's not all fun and games .
There are talks of animals and children in unhealthy conditions, mental health struggles, and some "interesting" anatomical wall art.
I'll Never Forget Him
Realtor here. I was showing a house that was supposed to be empty. I knocked and rang the bell to make sure.
Once inside I walked into a bedroom and found the current tenant butt naked absolutely slamming on an electronic drum kit in what was a mostly sound proof room.
He never noticed I was there, but I'll never forget him.
- nolatime
Counter Hot Dogs
Hot Dog Girl GIFGiphyBack in my teenage babysitting days, I regularly watched three kids whose parents kept one of those ENORMOUS packages of hot dogs out on the kitchen counter.
Everyone in that household would just wander by and grab a room-temperature hot dog as a snack whenever they felt like. I babysat for them 2-3 times per week for over a year and never not saw those hot dogs. I wonder about them all the time.
Seriously though, just the idea of this made me nauseous. Fleshy, slimy, overly salty, cold yet somehow suspiciously warm hot dogs... probably the worst combination of things for a food to be. How did the kids never get food poisoning?
A Hallway Toilet
Former babysitter, one house had a toilet in the hallway.
Not a bathroom - just a toilet literally in the middle of a carpeted hallway (against a wall) that totally worked. It was parallel to the wall not perpendicular- there was zero cover around it and it faced the stairway. So if you used it, and somebody came up the stairs, you were going to be making eye contact.
I never understood it. It looked like someone just set a toilet down for a minute.
There was a full bathroom 6' away connected to the hallway.
This was a small 2 story house with a family of 4. The hallway was narrow and if the toilet was perpendicular to the wall I'm not sure you could have walked by down the hallway without bashing your shins on it...unless you turned sideways.
It did work, it was clean, but probably wasn't used by the family since it was covered in child locks after the toddler discovered flushing things.
The Wall Plaque
I noticed a plaque the size of a large clock above someones' mantle. These people were middle aged white folks in the the middle of suburbia.
The plaque had names where numbers would be and a small trinket below the name.
I wished I would have never asked about it, because it turns out it was the preserved circumcision skin from all the men in their family. There is literally no appropriate response here... I literally just left the room and acted like I never heard anything.
She Never Mentioned The Naked Man
Installed sod at this lady's newly built home. She was in her mid 60s maybe. Anyway, she didn't know where the valve to the exterior tap was in the basement and asked if I could go down and turn it on for her. No problem. I go down the stairs to the unfinished basement and it's pitch dark. I find a light switch and then suddenly there is a 400 pound man naked and asleep on a mattress three feet away from me.
She never mentioned this before I went downstairs...
Kinship
A few years ago I was a social worker at a Child Placing Agency. In my state CPS can place children in kinship homes (relative, family friend, a person the child is familiar with) with little to no vetting- just some paperwork and a quick home walkthrough.
This woman was a distant aunt of four kids, making her a kinship home for them. Most kinship homes try to get licensed with a Child Placing Agency after the kids are placed because it will provide them more financial and therapeutic support for their kids. This is what brought me to her home.
She had a jaccuzzi in the center of her carpeted bedroom that she and the four (foster) children bathed in. There was no shower head or curtain. They also all shared a toilet in her bedroom that had no walls/ door around it. Absolutely no privacy.
All of the kids slept in the living room while she slept in the master bedroom.
During my home inspection I found three doors that had been completely plastered over and couldn't be accessed- she informed me that one was a full bathroom and the other two were bedrooms. None were accessible but she insisted that she used them to "store her tools."
I was so creeped the hell out.. there was no possible way for her to get to her "tools" from those rooms. The kids could have had bedrooms and there was no need for anyone to be bathing or using the toilet in front of anyone else.
One of them was a 12 year old girl.. imagine getting your first period in that home. ☹️.
I did everything i could to help the kids move.
I obviously did not license her home and I detailed all of my concerns about the children's living situation via phone and written report to CPS. I, of course, told them I did not think this woman should be caring for children.
One upsetting thing is that once her application was denied and I explained that I didn't believe the kids should be there or ever have been there I was basically removed from the picture. I did not technically work for CPS, so I couldn't tell you what happened after.
I think about it a lot and hope that the children are in a loving and caring home.
Karma And Bugs
I was working in this one hospital where this mother/daughter pair always came in with their two little chihuahuas. The women were always rude and obnoxious no matter how we bent over backwards.
Anyway. They'd been coming in repeatedly complaining their dogs had fleas and no treatments we'd sold them were working and the dogs still "had bugs."
So this one day they come in and demand to see their usual vet, who goes out and is greeted with a bag of "fleas" and shouting about how they were right/we were wrong cause look, they were still battling fleas despite treatment!
If you've ever had, seen, or known anything about fleas, good f*cking luck catching a bunch of them to put into a ziploc bag alive. They were definitely not fleas - but he didn't know what the hell they were, so he brought them into the back and asked if anyone had any ideas.
I'd just seen an episode of Monsters Inside Me about bed bugs. I said they were bed bugs and I was right (later confirmed it with a friend of mine who was a state entomologist who specialized in them!).
Apparently these always-obnoxious women had recently gotten a used couch for their basement from somewhere.
Karma? 🤷♀️
Those Poor Rats
animal s cuteness GIFGiphyI volunteer for a breed-specific dog rescue and do home visits/inspections for people who want to adopt dogs. It's usually mostly a formality to make sure the potential adopters know the quirks of this breed and are well prepared to live with them and allow them a chance to ask me questions about living with this breed.
One home visit though.... it was in a rough part of town. A woman and her 17-year-old child living in an elderly and incapacitated man's home. They helped care for him in exchange for a place to live. The home was just generally not in great shape, cluttered, not super clean.
The woman and her daughter lived upstairs, which was 3 small bedrooms, all with the doors shut. They open room 1... it was being used to house foster kittens.
The 2nd room was the girl's bedroom, but they opened the door and it was just crammed with junk. You couldn't even get into the room. So the mom and daughter shared a bedroom.
They open the door to this 3rd room. The smell of ammonia instantly hits me. My eyes are burning. I feel like I can't breathe. There was a mattress on the floor that took up most of the room. Lining the walls were 20 gallon aquarium tanks, all filled with rats.
Dozens and dozens of pet rats in each one. No bedding or toys for the rats, just bare glass, food and water. The glass sides were covered in pee from the rats trying to climb out with their pee soaked paws.
The woman mentioned she had cleaned these aquariums the day before. I felt so so bad for those poor little rats. The way she spoke about them, I could tell she loved them very much. She just clearly couldn't care for them the way she should have.
I only stayed in the room for a couple of minutes before wrapping up the visit. I had a pounding headache from the overwhelming smell. I have no idea how they actually slept in that room. That was the only home I ever visited that I didn't recommend as an adopter.
Wild And Elderly
Was tasked with removing a rattlesnake from an elderly ladies home. What was found was her sex toy lodged between furniture and the wall while on/vibrating.
Poor thing thought it was a snakes rattle lol.
Turned it off (with gloves) and told her the snake had been removed! Makes me laugh, she was a sweet lady.
That Skin Smell
I used to do home health and just go in and help people with everyday things they couldn't do because of their condition.
Had this really sweet older lady with a bad case of psoriasis. Her floors had a layer of dead skin covering nearly every square inch of the apartment. It was even in her dogs water bowl.
I did my best to keep it clean, and visited twice a week. Each time it was just as bad. I can still smell it if I think about it.
Goat Head Stew
Used to live in south Florida and worked an apartment complex.
One day we cleaned out this apartment after tenants moved out, wasn't too bad as it was mostly clean, but the shocking part was finding a severed goat's head in the fridge (on a platter not just stuffed in there), it was skinned and everything. Startled the f*ck out of me and wasn't sure what to do.
Supervisor said it was no big deal, It's common among Haitian/Jamaican/Island populations to use the whole head for a stew.
My partner is Jamaican, as is his family who lives in south Florida. This is a common dish that's made, literally called goat head soup. Just asked them to confirm and the response was "yeah, it's good as hell" haha.
Goat cheek is some of the best meat I've ever had. Bought a head off some Persian guys I knew from the jewelry stand at the mall. Made an epic stew. Scared the sh!t out of my roommate's gf when she got home lmao.
They Come At Night
I worked for 18 years as a cable/phone service tech in a big city. I've seen a lot. A few stick out, but the one that always made me sad was an apartment of someone with extreme schizophrenia living in government housing.
This disease tends to make people think that they are being monitored, so often in a bout of extreme mania, someone with it will tear out all of the phone and cable wiring in their place and then later realize that they need it and call for a service call.
I had to go back to this woman's place a few times for this. She had written on every square inch of her apartment walls - sentence fragments, different thoughts and things that seemed to be written in different voices.
She had cut a 1x1ft hole in her wall around her phone jack and ripped all the wires out. I patched up what I could and assured her we wouldn't bill her.
She also cornered me at one point to tell me that it wasn't her writing on the walls and that people come at night and do it.
There is nothing people hate more than when a major turning point in their favorite TV show is spoiled for them.
Friends were undoubtedly lost over the fate of Derek Shepherd on Grey's Anatomy, fights broke out over who killed Omar Little on The Wire, and the identity of "A" on Pretty Little Liars.
The anger of these devoted viewers becomes more and more ironic with each passing year, as they eagerly rewatch these shows on a semi-regular basis.
Despite knowing every possible twist, turn, surprise kiss, or unexpected death.
This time, however, they don't care, as the mark of a good show is one that creates a world we just want to reenter over and over again.
Perhaps the lack of any possible "spoilers" only increases our enjoyment.
"What show will you never get tired of rewatching?"
"A Dimension Not Only Of Sight And Sound, But Also Of Mind..."
"Twilight Zone."- whaler76
We All Need A Good Laugh...
"Whose Line Is It Anyway."- 4everlurk
The Brits Got It Right
"'Taskmaster'."
"UK, which shouldn't need to be said, but it does."- findingthescore
Who Knew Vampires Could Be So Funny!
"What We Do in the Shadows."- zizismuq
Definitely The Crowd You Want To Be A Part of...
"IT Crowd."- zzzonked666
Reflecting On Our Past...
"Band of Brothers."- mrandmrsm
And King Of Our Hearts
"King of the Hill."- 661Lee93
The Truth Is Indeed Out There...
"X files."- Big-Pool
There's A Middle Child In All Of Us
"Malcolm in the Middle."- midoes
Live Long And Prosper!
"Star Trek: The Next Generation."- SAR81
With all the streaming services now available, not to mention promising new network shows, there are countless new series for us to enjoy.
However, sometimes committing to a new series and risking disappointment just seems less appetizing than re-watching a show we know and love.
Maybe returning to a place "where everybody knows our name", or watching Lost enough times to finally figure out if [SPOILER ALERT] the ending makes any sense...
Roughly 12 percent of the world's population is left handed.
Studies have shown that being in this distinct minority comes with a number of advantages.
Indeed, four the last seven Presidents of the United States were all left-handed,
And considering Phil Mickelson, Rafael Nadal and Oscar De La Hoya are all left-handed as well, it seems lefties are at an advantage on the field or in the court or arena.
Though, if you were to speak to a left-handed person about their experience, they'll more than likely bemoan all the disadvantages of being a lefty.
Of which, there are admittedly several.
"What is the worst thing about being left-handed?"
Take Your Pick...But Mainly Scissors...
"The smudging is annoying."
"The right-handed desks suck."
"But it’s scissors, man."
"F*cking scissors."- Icy_Mortgage6654
Sucks The Joy Out Of Morning Coffee
"All the cute designs on mugs are only visible for right handed people."- jdon93
Baking Complications
"Measuring cup labels are on the other side when I use my left hand."- maninthemoonpie
Great British Baking Show GIF by PBSGiphyGood Penmanship Is Futile
"Fountain pens, and pencils."
"F*cking hate smudges."- deanfranz12
"When you write, you have to put your whole arm on the paper because you are actively pushing it."
"Whereas right handed people just have to apply a little force not to pull the paper."- iStealP
To Assume Makes An A** Out Of You And Me...
"When someone tries to teach you how to play guitar, line up a pool cue, shoot a bow and arrow, and they can’t because you’re left-handed."- aeowyn7
Dougie Payne Guitar GIF by TravisGiphyAt Least Some Progress Has Been Made...
"My grandad was left-handed."
"He went to a catholic school, this was in the 1930s/early 1940s UK, and the nuns would tie his left hand behind him and hit him until he wrote with his right hand."
"They said that it was a ‘sign of the devil’ if someone was left-handed."
"So cruel."- miz_moon
Might As Well Be Dying...
"Hearing the following words:"
"'Ohhh you're left handed!'"
"It becomes grating after the 1000th time of hearing it."- redbutterfly_78
In All Seriousness, It's Worse Than You Think...
"Left handed people aren't taught how to write as lefties, they are taught as if they are right handed."
"Pens tips are designed for right handed people, especially ballpoint and fountain pens."
"But even others work less efficiently for lefties."
"This is because we have to push the pen across the page, whereas they are pulling it."
"This causes frequent breaks in pencil tips, catching of nibs, and this ink/graphite will be rubbed against the lefties' hands, often ruining their writing."
"In addition, this pushing motion means there is pressure going into the hand of the lefty, trying to push the pen into their grip."
"As a result, they have to squeeze tightly."
"This reduces control of the pen, leading to bad handwriting and pain after even short periods."
"I know doing exams was awful for the lefties."
"Handwriting is for right handed people."
"Pretty obvious, you are taught a way to move your hand to get the shapes of letters, but lefties aren't taught the opposite."
"They are just left to figure it out, but these kids don't know what they are doing wrong."
"A lack of equipment for lefties, whether it is left handed scissors or desks or sharpeners."
"It may seem trivial, but these little things can make a leftie feel weird or like their can't figure out even the tiny little things that everyone else is getting so quickly."
"The effects:"
"This is a cause of lefties craning their wrists round so that they don't smudge and get a better pulling motion."
"As well as craning wrists, some may lean round, or massively rotate their page just so it isn't in the way, but no one taught them these solutions."
"Bad handwriting."
"Lack of confidence, which affects schoolwork and how the kid see his/herself."
"It may be the kid simply can't do what their classmates can do, despite trying his/her hardest."
"Uncomfortable positions causing pain in the neck, back and wrist."
"There are some, very small, organizations that have developed ways to properly teach left handed children how to sit and write comfortably."
"It usually involves angling the page slightly, but clockwise, whereas most lefties angle it anti-clockwise."
"I'd gladly volunteer my time to teach left-handed kids how to write."- untakenu
Left-handed people have to take the good and the bad much more than right-handed people.
However, considering Mark Twain, Albert Einstein and Ruth Bader Ginsburg were all left-handed, it seems that it's easy to make the most of the disadvantage.
There is little more comforting than lounging on the sofa, and binging your favorite sitcoms.
What ultimately makes sitcoms so comforting, in addition to the clever writing and improbably affordable apartments, are the characters.
Why Friends continues to gain a new legion of fans, even nearly 20 years after its finale, is the fact that those watching often want Monica, Chandler, Rachel, Ross, Joey and especially Phoebe to actually be their friends.
Or wish their own friends' dynamic was more like that iconic sextet.
Indeed, people would be much less hesitant to show up for work if they knew The Office's Jim or Pam would be waiting for them, or think that their school days might have been more pleasurable if taught by Abbot Elementary's Janine Teagues.
Characters who are so lovable, it almost breaks our hearts that they aren't real.
"Who is the best sitcom character of all time?"
The Dad We All Wish We Had
"Hal from 'Malcolm in the Middle'."- TerriblyAverage1
malcolm in the middle ifc GIFGiphySomeone Get That Lady a Vodka Rocks... Or A Piece Of Toast...
"Lucille Bluth."
"She stole every scene she was in, which is both a testament to how well the character was written and Jessica Walter’s performance."- PobBrobert
"It's Always Sunny" When They're Around.
"Charlie Kelly!"- SuperDuperCatman
"Frank Reynolds."- Pumpkin-tits-NYC
it's always sunny sunnyfxx GIF by It's Always Sunny in PhiladelphiaGiphy"But He Already Did Something Today"...
"Titus Andromedon from 'Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt'."- cherry_blsm00
Especially When He Makes A "huge mistake"...
"Gob Bluth."- BrushGoodDar
Threatening Our Grasp On Reality
"Creed."
"Proof that less is more."
“'Somebody making soup?'”- AussieDuckMan
creed bratton television GIFGiphyThe Boss Of Our Dreams
"Captain Holt"- Cabbiecar1001
If Only For His Hair!
"Maurice Moss, 'IT Crowd'."- SalsaYogurt
One Only Hopes Our Future Will Involve Him
"Bender B. Rodriguez."
"Remember that scene in Kill Bill where Bill says Clark Kent is Superman's impression of humans?"
"Clark had to act like all the other humans in order to blend into human society."
"Now apply that logic to Bender."
"He was made by humans to be able to function and relate to people in a human world."
"The humans made him in their own image and he's the most self-centered, amoral, insecure, emotional train wreck on Earth."
"He is what we secretly fear about our own nature."- blakethegr8
swag futurama GIFGiphyOne could say it's their questionable grasp of reality that makes sitcoms so enjoyable.
If Will Truman were a real-life New York attorney, there's no way he would have been chronically single for seven years.
Far-fetched as some of their premises may be, however, our favorite sitcom characters can almost be viewed as the friends who never disappoint us.
As they're always guaranteed to make us laugh and put a smile on our faces.
Even when they break our hearts.
Seriously, how could Nathan do that to Ted Lasso?!?!?!
Home makeover television is a favorite genre of programming among many TV viewers.
DIY and home improvement shows such as those that are on HGTV inspire homeowners or house flippers to come up with brilliant ideas to dramatically alter their homes.
But not everyone has the means to make their vision come to fruition. But, hey, we can all dream.
Speaking of which, Redditor Butterflies_Books asked strangers online to channel their desires into a hypothetical and asked:
"If you had enough money to build your dream house, what's a strange room/feature you'd include?"
These Redditors want more than an aesthetic change. They want a lifestyle change.
Purrrfect Plans
"Cat walks. Between rooms. For my cat."
– ThinkMouse3
Wet Theater
"An indoor swimming pool in the underground floor with a synced screen on all four sides and normal + underwater sound system. I love swimming. I love watching movies and series."
– Meins447
Bringing The Outdoors Indoors
"I want a freshwater pond in a central location inside the house."
– DoctorSneak
Liquid Dreamz
"An indoor swimming pool - with a lazy river. I LOVE swimming but I f'king hate public pools. I have a recurring dream where I have a house with a lazy river in it. I love those dreams."
– [deleted]
It gets really specific.
Siesta All The Time
"I want an outdoor area dedicated to taco night. It’s gonna have a meat smoker, and a tequila bar, and pepper plants, and a huge grill and an awesome speaker system and it will be fiesta themed and amazing!"
– DreyaNova
Middle-Earth Food Storage
"I want a hobbit pantry."
"Earthy, timber-stone decor that is climate controlled to be a perfect storage area for wheels of cheese, sausage links and beer."
– Shangiskhan
Aquarium Study
"It's not that strange, but I think an irrationally large number of decisions in my life have been motivated by the desire to eventually have a study with high ceilings and floor to ceiling bookshelves so I can have one of those ladder things that sits against the shelf and have it be justified."
"I would add an octopus tank but I think they live like two years tops and having to bury a pet biennelly seems depressing."
"Edit: people keep suggesting I eat the octopuses."
"I'm not going to eat my pets."
"As a former fish monger, please do not eat seafood that has died of old age. Not gonna taste good."
– Nrussg
Again, we can dream.
No More Solicitors
"A moat. No one has a moat anymore. Do you not want to talk to people? Pull up the draw bridge!!!! And in the winter you have your own personal skating rink!!"
– Hardlynotpoor
Tropical Oasis
"I really want one of those natural bathrooms, that looks like you just walked into a jungle, everything is stone and steam and plants and sounds of a water fall."
"Or one of those open stair cases where the back wall is completely glass and there’s a leafy garden under the stairs."
"Basically just a tropical oasis for plants."
– YEEyourlastHAW
Bringing Nature In
"I saw a cool house online yesterday that had an indoor greenhouse and I am here for that."
– [deleted]
Calgon Take Me Away
"Absolutely a secret beautiful bathroom just for me. I don’t know what it is but I just really value bathroom time and the luxury of getting washed and relaxing and getting ready in a big beautiful marble bathroom. But nobody else can use it. Like the secret bathroom in B99."
– cats_rule_on_mars
I've always dreamed of owning a house that has an interior Japanese tranquility garden. As in, rock garden.
There's nothing to maintain and all you have to do is gaze out into the contained courtyard and meditate.
It would be the perfect space from where peaceful energy would flow. The house's heart.
What's your dream home addition?