We all love to play armchair therapist. We all believe we have the answers. But we could do more harm than good.

So many of us have the best of intentions but we must begin to understand time and place and delivery.

Some people are in darker places and platitudes aren't the miracle cure some people think they are.


Redditor Kvetanistawanted to talk about when to speak or be silent, so they asked:

"What's the worst thing you can say to a depressed person?"

I hate... "just smile."

As if I don't know how to control the muscles in my face to make it all ok.

If that helped I'd have wrinkle lines decades before I should.

I DON'T!!

Snap!

"Stop being lazy. Snap out of it." ~ Recent_Employment_28

Giphy

Nothing

"But you've got nothing to be depressed about." ~ RandomRamblings99

"It's like this with anxiety too. 'You have nothing to be anxious about.' Yeah, well that sure ain't stopping it from happening." ~ RobToastie

"Oh man I heard that a lot growing up, still gives me shivers. I caught myself saying it to my son one day and vowed to never say it again. My kids get to feel their feelings." ~ WolfPackMedic

Why?

"I heard this and all it did was made me hate myself more. 'Why can't you be like everyone else? Why can't you be happy considering all you have going for yourself? What is your problem?' is what i would think."

"It did teach me I can't unburden myself to anyone stupid enough to stand in front of me for five minutes though. Now I ask people 'Are you sure you really want to know how I'm feeling? If they say no I understand because most people are just being polite.'" ~ fazlez1

Top 2

"'Get over it' and 'It's all in your head' are my top two."' ~ Hollywood899

"Yeah right, even with trying to get the right chemicals through meds I still ain't right. Like my anxiety is too bad to take ADHD meds and my body also literally doesn't metabolize most anti depressants properly, so the amount I can even try is limited." ~ arcaneunicorn

Worse

"Saying 'Someone has it worse' completely ignores the pain the depressed person is suffering through." ~ Alluxing

Giphy

What are the origins of this mess?

Like in what century did any of this work?

Celebrate

"For me it's 'Enjoy those years! They are the best part of your life'." ~ Kvetanista

Giphy

Bless You

"I also enjoy 'if you went back to church your depression would go away.'" ~ dixiequick

"I was going to church at the time I finally decided to open up and was told I'm in sin."

"I already felt like when i was born God said 'oops' and now I have this to deal with? Despite all I've gone though and felt I have no problem with God, the problem I have is with is people who exercise Church 101. There's no anger anymore as that's one of their imperfections. They have theirs and I have mine." ~ fazlez1

My Head

"My dad says this to me. 'Depression isn’t real, it’s all in your head.' He’s half right though, it is all in your head. I’ve always assured myself 'maybe they’ll believe me when they find me hanging from a ceiling fan.'" ~ TTungsteNN

"Heard that many times, including from my parents until I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. My father was diagnosed bipolar about 10 years before me. WTF?" ~ FriendRaven1

99 Problems

"Stop complaining, some people have real problems." ~ soupisatitagain

"My ex used to say that to me all the time. Like even if I wasn’t complaining about something and just mentioning something that happened on my day. Really he just didn’t care to listen."

"Also the problem with saying that is you close the door for open communication. That’s how people end up bottling things inside. And for teachers or parents, it’s a missed opportunity to educate a young person to overcome an obstacle and grow, so that they will eventually 'stop complaining.'” ~ chocotacogato

Better?

"I personally hate 'it gets better,' it does get better but I hate when people say that to me when I’m in a major depressive episode. Idk why, it just upsets me even more." ~ lonelylemons42069

Giphy

Just do the best you can.

Life is hard.

That's all I've got.

And it's better than what we've heard.


Want to "know" more?

Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.

Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.


Not all television and movies are loved by all.

A story and its characters have to appeal to you in order for you to be engaged.

It can take next to nothing for us to lose interest and let the screen go black.

Keep reading...Show less
People Debate The Worst Ways Someone Can Die
Photo by davide ragusa on Unsplash

I fear death.

I wake up in cold sweats dreaming about it.

I think about it in my waking hours.

It's an obsession and clearly, I'm not alone.

But there are more preferred ways to exit.

All we can do is hope to be lucky enough to skip the mercilessly awful.

Please just let me go quick and in my sleep.

Keep reading...Show less
Foreigners Explain Which Stereotypically American Things They've Always Wanted To Try
Stephen Simpson/GettyImages

Most Americans think nothing of their humdrum daily activities or amenities available to them.

However, others with a different perspective might romanticize the things that are otherwise commonplace ideas and concepts for US citizens, like going to a diner or riding the school bus.

Keep reading...Show less
People Break Down Which Professions Are Completely Overpaid
Lu ShaoJi/GettyImages

Many people work hard from the moment they are on the clock until their respective shifts are over at the end of a long day.

For many of those in the workforce, the wages barely sustain a comfortable living, especially for those who are raising a family.

Yet, there are jobs that are known to pay a higher salary without requiring extreme physical labor, or the requirement of higher education.

Keep reading...Show less