It's no secret that women are often objectified by creepy men. But some of these men, specifically those known as "incels", or "involuntary celibates". The stereotypical incel is a fedora-wearing neck-bearded creature, but the incel culture can be hiding in any man's brain. And that's friggin' terrifying.MetaphoricalProverb
asked: Women of Reddit, have you ever had a run in with an Incel? If so, what happened?
"Met one in college. He seemed normal at the time although we rarely talked. Had literally one class together.
He friend requested me on Facebook and I accepted. Soon after he asked me out on Facebook and I rejected him. He started staring at me in the one class we had together and followed me around a lot.
One day I got a text from my mom telling me I should check my Facebook. I maybe looked at it once a day at the time.
He had commented on every single post I made, every picture, anything on my wall. Literally everything he could. Every comment was different too, but all some variation of how I'm a slut. How all I'm good for is to please a man and produce his offspring... if he finds me worthy.
He planned it out well I think I because the semester ended the week before. Which was good for me I guess, didn't have to see him anymore.
I blocked him then deleted my Facebook. I was rarely using it anyway. He put so much effort into those comments, hundreds of them. Just weird."
What a huge red flag.Giphy
"I started chatting with him on Tinder, about an hour later I run into a friend of mine and we decide to grab a beer together. I tell the guy cause I was still chatting with him and he explodes.
Goes on a huge rant about how if I have a straight male friend I should just sleep with him then since the only reason a straight single man would be friends with a girl is to sleep with her. Also that if we were dating he'd never let me have male friends cause they'd just want to sleep with me. Noped out of that one pretty fast."
"I met a guy online who turned out to be an incel. We chatted casually for maybe a month, nothing sexual, just friendship as we had a hobby in common we were discussing. One day he asked me to check his dating profile for him. Hoping that a woman's perspective would tell him why he wasn't getting any messages. I didn't mind as he'd been polite up until this point. But I didn't read that this was his way of flirting with me.
I just told him his bio was far too long. It was the longest profile on a dating website I'd ever seen. It would have been pages and pages of paragraphs if you printed it out. I just said it's easier to read if you shorten it and make it about the lasting impression you want a woman to have of you. And I sent him an example since I knew about his hobbies. I just wrote something like, "I like philosophy, debating and discussing psychology" and leave it at that instead of discussing every topic in detail and what you like and don't like about them.
Also, his page was filled with more negatives than positives. Paragraphs upon paragraphs about what he found unattractive in women. His standards were ridiculously high. They couldn't have had any previous relationships. No tattoos. Can't be into hobbies he doesn't like. He accused anyone who didn't like his hobbies of being stupid and he thought other people were all 'vapid and shallow for only caring about looks'. Also, he required a woman to have a very specific body and face type.
When I told him maybe he should cut this part out and stick to what traits he likes in a woman...he suddenly flipped. Out of nowhere. He'd shown no sign of craziness before he asked me about his dating profile. Suddenly he starts ranting about how women don't want him but he's a catch. And if I wasn't such a bitch, I wouldn't be single. And he could show me a good time if I learned to be more passive and not speak my mind as much.
I told him to calm down and he wouldn't. He sent me pages and pages and pages of hateful, venomous messages about hating women for not seeing how intelligent and insightful he was and how I would be single forever if I didn't take his offer to date him because he could 'improve' me by making me more alluring to other men.
I tried to give him another chance but my message was drowned out by the paragraphs he sent me over the course of a few hours. So I blocked him on Skype and his original account that we spoke on on another platform disappeared the very next day. Never heard of him since."
Nope, he was definitely an incel.
"This was over a decade ago now, I think. But, at the very least, he was pretty convinced that women were the issue.
The issue was that he was obese. And unwashed. And looked exactly the way you think an incel would. We got along very well and I tried to get past all that, but you can't force attraction.
Basically, we hung out alone once and it was pretty much a disaster. Awkward, uncomfortable. Smelly. Anwyay, after that, I tried to diplomatically let him down. He basically told me I was a slut, tried to rake my name through the mud, and cut me out of his life.
So, yeah. Pretty much a paint by numbers."
Where do these men even come from?Giphy
"I went on a date with one about six months ago. It was so, so uncomfortable. He was asking me what I was looking for in a relationship, and the conversation went something like this. M represents me, and D will represent him.
D: So, do you know what you're looking for?
M: I'm new to the state, so I think that for now I just want to go out a bit and meet new people. I'm the commitment type, though, and I'm not at all opposed to finding something serious. What about you?
D: Well, uh, I don't really think I want a girlfriend, you know? I don't want to feel smothered. I mean, sex is nice, of course, but... I just like hooking up. I hooked up with some girls this summer and the sex was fun.
M: Ah. Yeah, I'm not really the hook-up type. I feel like healthy relationships are pretty balanced and no one needs to feel smothered. But I can see how going out with no strings attached could be a good time.
D: Yeah. I really just like sex, like any other dude, yanno? I don't need a girlfriend. Of course, there are the times that I see a stupid couple holding hands and being all cute, and that makes me mad, of course. I don't like seeing it flaunted like that.
I kind of froze at that point. It's difficult to explain the tone of voice he used when he said that last thing, but it made me uneasy. I could see the anger/hatred in his eyes and he went from casually conversing to seriously mad. And he kept saying "of course," like everyone felt the same way, or like he was trying to gauge if I felt similarly.
Needless to say, I never went out with the guy again. I met my now-boyfriend two days later and we've run into D together while on campus (D and I go to college together). Every time, D glares at me and shoots my boyfriend dirty looks.
Edit: I realize that he said he was screwing girls, which would make him not an Incel, by definition. But he seemed to be lying about the sex, and the way that he spoke about his anger toward couples/women with boyfriends made it really clear that he had an Incel-like mindset."
"This was freshman year of high school and I swear I have about a hundred stories on this one boy. Let's call him blue (because his hair used to be blue).
So I first met blue on a bus ride to a field trip where we were visiting a local college to go through a "practice" course. He and I were both put into the computer programming course, so we spent the whole day together. He seemed like a pretty chill dude, so I invited him to come hang out with my friends at the football game that night. No big deal, right?
Well, he arrives and jokes about how he told his parents we were on a date. I cut him off right there and clarify I invited him to hang out, I did not ask him on a date. He shrugs and continues the story. His father apparently asked if he should bring condoms and his mom asked if I was spending the night. Oooookay now this feels awkward. I emphasized once again we were not in a relationship, I did not ask him out, and nothing was happening tonight. He agreed.
So a small bump in the road, but I still don't feel comfortable around him. To get away for a bit, I offer to go wait in line for snacks while everyone else watches the game. He offers to go with me to "keep me safe": yeah, no. I try to talk one of my girlfriends into helping me leave alone, but she thinks he's cute for me and tells us both to go. Yaaaaay.
So he and I are walking to the snack bar, my friends money in hand (they were paying for their own snacks, I was just going to wait for them) and he's following. As we get close to the stand, a cute girl walks by and he very obviously checks her out. I honestly don't care, but it's what he says that made me cringe.
"Damn, I'd rape that."
I immediately go off on him, that that's not funny, that he's a high schooler and should know better, that some jokes are funny but that's a bit far. He is shocked saying. "What? I do you first!" Apparently he thought I was jealous or something? I give him the money and tell him to order for our friends, I'm leaving. He keeps trying to get me to stay, but I'm just done. He then offers to drive me home, which is a BIG hell no at this point! You just made a joke about raping me I am NOT having you drive me home ALONE after that!!!
It gets worse.
For about a month, he would follow me to my gym class, wait for me to walk into the girls locker room, and then go to his class. After I realized this was a common occurrence, I talked to a mutual friend of ours, and then it stopped. Don't have confirmation, but I'm assuming our mutual friend (let's call him pink for his fav color) told blue I knew and he stopped.
Skip to sophomore year, when us three are all in a club together. Pink keeps trying to set me and blue up together, and it's making me really uncomfortable. Blue and I are in a different club together where I compete and he is taking pictures for the yearbook. Turns out almost all the pictures he took were of me. Creepy.
What was weird was he found a crappy homemade ring in the hallways apparently? With a heart charm as the charm of the ring. He snuck it in my bag with a note of "just thinking of you" and it just weirded me out.
This was when I decided "okay so we just can't be friends." So I cut myself off from him, but not from everyone else in our group. Meet black, a kind of emo chick I used to be friends with and at one point dated blue. She came over to my house to hang out, and he texted her 52 times and called 7 times in the span of the 3 hours we hung out, because apparently blue didn't "trust me". They broke up later when he came out as gay. Weird.
LITERALLY A DAY LATER he comes up to me and asks me out. I ask him I thought he was gay: nope. Apparently that was his excuse to break up with black, and he blew up her phone in hopes that I would be the one to pick up the line. DUDE.
Then I moved at the end of sophomore year. I was finally going to be away from blue, or so I thought. Though I still liked pink and black, those friendships disintegrated when I stopped hanging out with blue because they sided with blue. Whatever, like I care.
Because I moved I made it so he couldn't contact me at all: blocked his account on Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, everything I could. Kept his number in my phone but named it "Don't Answer" so I'd know it was him. I thought I was rid of him.
Cut to January. At this point I haven't seen them for 8 months. The ahole hacked into my Facebook hoping I wouldn't notice. For a solid hour I was "in a relationship" with him, he was unblocked, and he had posted a picture of him on my account titled "I love my honey ♥️" LIKE WTF???
Gladly this was late at night and I was up studying, so I had gotten an email about logging into a new device on my phone. Instantly changed everything back, deleted and cleared everything, and changed my password on everything. I was not about to have this happen on another account.
Is this an incel? Or just a stalker? Or a creep? Whatever he's categorized as, it's f**king creepy. He never did the classic break down at being rejected, he just... Never took rejection."
"He said sexism in the workplace wasn't real. Then proceeded to give an example of a person being denied a role because of their gender.
"Women aren't discriminated against in the workforce. We had a lady put in her resume at our construction company and the workers wanted to hire her but the boss didn't end up hiring her because his wife would be jealous".
Yeah the cognitive dissonance hurt my head."
Trust no incel.Giphy
"It happened more frequently in my younger years say late teens/early twenties. Almost, exclusively online. I used to be one of those "super nice-but-actually pushover-y" girls and gave everyone the time of day to at least chat and small talk, now I do not 100% because of incel run-ins.
Worst run-in I've had was a boy, after agreeing to exchange phone numbers (I don't know why I did) would call/text sometimes as early as 7 am...I never answered and eventually got pissed off and told him to stop calling me. He was WAY too obsessive and I barely knew the guy. He later threatened to post my social media pictures and phone number on craigslist and back-page on the casual sex ads. No idea if he ever did but for weeks, almost months would text just "$" and say nothing else.
So men, if you approach a lady and she seems short & snotty with you like she has her guard up she's probably actually a really cool girl but has had one or two really disturbing run-ins with an incel so she's protecting herself from the trouble. We all watch too many episodes of Dateline to play around with that. Incels seem to make life a little more shitty for everybody even other men, sadly.
I can't tell you if I ever ran into one in real life but I know I have. I'm 100% sure I did but it was completely non-memorable and I can't say I even notice them in passing. Maybe that's why they get so upset with people. It seems like a sad life but they make it impossible to feel sorry for them. Poor."
"I dated a guy who became an incel after we had been dating for 7 months. It was my first time dating anyone so I was ~nervous to do any thing major ya know~ He was a virgin as well and made me very clear of this fact anytime things were a little bit romantic.
One night we got in an argument about the definition of consent and how I wasn't sure if I wanted to have kids one day.
He said, "Hypothetically, if a man and a woman were to get married, and the husband wanted kids and the wife didn't, isn't it the wife's duty to provide the husband with a child even if she doesn't want one?"
I told him no it would be rape to make a woman forcefully have a child she does not want. This made him extremely angry and he stormed off. He then texted me later that night around 9pm asking if he could call me. I had work the next morning and knew this would be a long call so I asked if it could wait until the next day. He said it couldn't wait and that he needed to say something tonight. I asked him if he could text it to me, thinking it would be a paragraph or something. I could not have been more wrong.
I woke up at 4am to a text from him. It was so long that it couldn't be read in messages and had to be opened in notes. It turns out this "text" was a 9 page long essay describing how my thoughts were completely wrong and how I needed to allow him to screw me whenever he asked and how it was my duty as a woman to bear him children.
I broke up with him the next day I was so appalled. He was obviously very mad at me for deciding I didn't want to have sex with a guy who viewed me as just a 'baby maker'."
"I've had a few, but the worst interaction I've ever had, personally, was with a dude named Brandon. He was friends with some of my friends, I don't think anyone actually liked him but they felt bad for him so they let him hang around.
He developed an obsession with me and would message me on every platform of social media he could, wrote "fanfic" about us (which was VERY inappropriate and made me 10/10 uncomfortable) and eventually started messaging me about all the ways he wanted to assault me. I blocked him but he always found a way to keep harassing me.
I ended up moving out of state for other reasons, but after that it died down, thankfully."
"This is before they started calling themselves incels -- or maybe before we knew they did -- but this dude hit all the markers.
High school. I made the mistake of being polite to him. Not flirty, not overly friendly -- just basic kindness. "Hi, how are you today, sorry to hear that" kindness. He spewed their typical hateful, self-pitying nonsense at me before I knew better than to sympathize with him.
When I told him I wasn't interested in a romantic relationship, he terrorized and stalked me for years, showing up at my work and extra curriculars and threatening to do me bodily harm. He made up truly insane stories about a made-up "childhood romance," harassed my friends, tried to isolate me from them. He made my high school experience a living hell. It didn't stop until I got a restraining order, and he still tried to indirectly contact me for a while. I was afraid for years after graduation that he'd show up and kill me at work.
A decade later, he found my professional e-mail and apologized. It was short, to-the-point, polite, and sounded like a therapist had helped him write it. (I doubt I was the only woman he did this to over the years.)
I agonized over replying because part of me was afraid it would just reignite his obsession. Ultimately, I sent him a similarly short "thank you for saying that, I wish you well" note and never replied to his follow-up message.
He hasn't contacted me again, so I do believe he's changed, or is trying to change. But I never made the mistake of giving too much kindness to an abuser and/or psychopath of that particular strain again."
"Nice guys" are almost as bad.
"Are incels the same as niceguys? I think maybe they are different... somehow. Anyway, I was once tricked into a helping a niceguy.
Backstory. Am a girl, and in college I had a crush on this guy, and because of this I offered to tutor him in one of his classes that I had already taken. It was... a short lived crush. Because after tutoring him I discovered that he was dumber than a box of rocks. Like... so, SO dumb. But I had committed and I was kind of in his same friend group, so I also learned that he was highly religious (another way we were totally incompatible), and he was totally into another girl in this friend group. So I gave up my crush.
We graduated. Or, well, I did. Some time later he messages me on Facebook, all heartbroken and shit. Apparently he had managed to get together with this girl, and had even slept with her (despite being, you know, MEGA Christian) but she had broken up with him. And he was so upset, why didn't she like a nice guy like him, he had a dream sent from God where he saw them getting married, it was meant to be. And would I please reach out to her for him? This was a little before everyone was woke about this shit, so my dumb ass did it. It's one of the things I regret having done in my life.
So I reach out to her and ask her how she is and then bring the conversation around to him. She tells me that he's basically fucking stalking her. Like this dude's been creepily driving by her house to see if she's home. I was like oh damn, ok, btw he asked me to talk to you for him, sorry.
I forget what I told him after that, but I was washing my hands of it. I wish there was a better ending, but I was mortified that I had acted as his agent and bothered this poor girl.
Bonus: I didn't defriend him on Facebook until he got pissy that he got a ticket for parking in the fire lane. It was "just for a few minutes" and didn't give a single shit that, you know, people could have DIED IN A FIRE because his dumb ass was in the way.
Also he had IBS and I eat way too much chili, so that's another way this was never gonna work."
At least he grew up.
"I'm a male, but I used to be an incel.
In high school I would ask out a bunch of girls (one I asked on Facebook) and each time I got rejected I would yell at them for not giving me a chance. I would stalk them and message them constantly, even using Words with Friends to message them. I would threaten to kill myself because of how angered and depressed I was, but also using it as a way to get someone to reply back to me.
I'm horrified by what I used to be, I hate reliving my past. I really want to apologize to the women I tormented, but also feel like it's best I leave them alone. This is one skeleton I have in my closet that I want to be burned and buried."
"A guy I met on tinder before I started dating my boyfriend.
He knew a creepy amount about me, or guessed a lot of stuff correctly (height, bra size to a T, etc.) that a random stranger wouldn't know. And one of his pick up lines were "I hope you don't mind I have a huge cock."
But I was young, inexperienced and so I disregarded his creepiness.
We were supposed to meet up, but it was the same day I was supposed to go on a date with my now boyfriend, so I had to tell him that I wasn't able to meet him.
The guy lost his shit on me, the usual "fucking shallow bitch" and "all women are the same" and how he was so sick and tired of women doing this to him. It got really intense, and I was wigged out. It was the first, and last, time I experienced something like that."
We hope he gave them their money.
"I was friends with one in college. He thought he was the coolest, hottest guy ever, and would resort to pathetic tactics to picking up chicks, including getting a puppy and walking it around campus solely so girls might come up and talk to him.
A friend of ours took him to a bar and the guy started crying because no girls were coming up and talking to him. Before that time, he had bet us $300 that he could "go to any bar in this town and pick up a chick". Our friend set him up on a date with a friend of his, and the dude was creepy and rude the entire time."
He didn't seem like an incel while we were talking a few days before our date, but he also used fake/heavily altered pictures so that says a lot. Arranged to go to a bar and maybe get something to eat if I was feeling happy to after a long day of work.
That didn't happen...met at the bar and he said he wanted to take me somewhere better which I was happy to do, turns out we were headed to his place. I objected and said "oh I'm really hungry could we just go somewhere to eat instead" and turned out he had a plan for us to make food and smoke together. I wasn't getting super weird vibes from him so I thought he probably had good intentions and it was a fairly easily place to get away from need be.
Went in, and I felt very uncomfortable (bear in mind he looked NOTHING like his pictures and was acting like I was his girlfriend, we matched on tinder like a week before), so uncomfortable in fact that I didn't look him in the eye even once the whole night. Strange note: his entire place was like a Doctor Who museum...bed sheets, pillows, posters, figurines, dolls, and costume pieces. That gave me some vibes.
Anyways, he made a pie while I awkwardly stood in the kitchen corner and watched him trying to impress me and saying "we should do this together a few times a week, you will really love this" and awkwardly laughing in response. Had we been in a relationship and he looked/acted any way he had online I'd have loved it, but he was a stranger...also I have coeliac disease and refrain from animal products for my health so couldn't eat it..smelt like soap but he tried.
We sat and watched Doctor Who (what a surprise) for 5 hours while smoking, which would be fine with me but whenever I got a message he would ask who it was and would move progressively closer to me and look at my phone. He also got a little carried away (?) with smoking. Now I can hold myself pretty well with weed, and I don't think he expected that at all. A few joints in and he was a mess. The pie he was trying to eat was just crumbling and falling on the floor which he sort of mushed in the carpet trying to pick up, and he was saying shit like "why aren't you high yet" "you need to smoke more you should have passed out by now" at that point I was freaked out. Called a taxi and left, he had passed out when I had left.
I said the next day thank you for the evening but I didn't want to see him again, tried to guilt trip me with how much money he put towards smoke and food and drinks (I never actually agreed previous to that evening to what happened that night, I thought we were gonna get chips) and how he deserved compensation (you can guess what he meant). I turned him down as gently as I could. He got my Tinder account banned, showed a screenshot of me pissing around saying something t along the lines that I'm 13 as evidence (I'm not and my pictures made that pretty obvious) but yeah, said if I was on Tinder going in dates I should follow though with the arrangement (there was literally no dirty talk) and that I shouldn't be on tinder if I was just going to use people for freebies and take away what they deserved. I never responded to him.
Every couple weeks for MONTHS I got a message from him, usually responding to something I post or just a picture of a random thing (no dick pics thank GOD), which I ghost and are usually met with some very threatening angry emojis and a "what did I do to deserve this". Blocked him, problem solved. Still pissed about my Tinder account though."
Years ago, I used to be bullied for being a bookworm. It was odd. I even had a classmate take one of my books, rip it up, and throw it into the trash bin. Nowadays, I see kids reading openly without having to hide their books. What was up with the anti-intellectual attitudes when I was younger? It's nice to see that that's not generally accepted.
So much has changed since I was younger––it's okay to be a "nerd" in more ways than one. Does anyone really get bullied for reading comic books anymore, for instance? Especially when Marvel films dominate the box office?
People were keen to share their observations after Redditor xtaliaw asked the online community,
"What is something you were bullied for growing up that has now become a trend?"
"I used to get bullied..."
"I used to get bullied for my thick eyebrows. Now I get complimented. Weird to hear, "I like your eyebrows." Never thought that would be something to compliment."
"Then Nirvana and grunge blew up..."
"My freshman year of college in the early '90s my roommates all made fun of me and called me a hillbilly for wearing flannel/plaid shirts. Then Nirvana and grunge blew up and it was a sea of flannel as far as the eye could see!"
My, how things change.
Everyone wants to be as cool as Nirvana––still!
"Kimchi and lettuce wraps..."
"Korean food. Kimchi and lettuce wraps were not cool when I was a kid."
Shame, because they're delicious. I hope those people regret their bland diets!
"Now it's cool..."
"Wearing hand me down clothes. Now it's "vintage" and "cool" to shop at places like Goodwill or secondhand stores."
This correct. The style nowadays is "Manic Pixie Dream Girl Who Lives in Bushwick and Wears Clogs."
"Now there are cheerleaders..."
Like, I had a cool symbiote Spider-Man shirt. But I didn't dare wear it in school.
Now there are cheerleaders wearing Thor shirts, and people on the street know who the Guardians of the Galaxy are. Granted, none of the characters they know were in the Guardians that I grew up with. But they know the title."
"I get stopped..."
"My hair. I have tons of it and it's very curly. Sometimes my cousins would call me Marge Simpson.
Then natural hair care actually became a thing and I learned to embrace my hair. Now it's my signature. I get stopped a few times a week (sometimes a few times a day) by people to tell me they love my hair."
"Women have surgery..."
"Having a big butt. Women have surgery to get butts like I've always had now, but being a young person in the late 90s/early 2000s when the trend was to be underweight with a flat @ss was loads of fun."
The Kardashians really changed things around there, didn't they?
Ummm... thanks, Kim? We guess.
"They took a huge jump in popularity..."
"Video games. They took a huge jump in popularity from now I was a kid, and now all my high school bullies are posting about Animal Crossing."
"It blows me away..."
"Freckles. It blows me away that people get freckles tattooed on their bodies now."
Wait... wait... wait...
People do this?!
"I was both."
"Being weird. Being alternative. I was both. Made fun of horribly, and now the people who bullied me are going around embracing their 'weird' side."
I guess you could say things have largely changed for the better. It's nice to see kids being more accepting nowadays. Bullying just isn't tolerated on the same level it was when I was a kid. That's a plus in my book.
Have some stories of your own? Feel free to tell us about them in the comments below!
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The human body is an amazing instrument and whole handful of mess. Like, what was God thinking? Was he thinking?
Or is it evolution's fault? So many questions left unanswered. And as much as I tried to pay attention in anatomy class, there are still spaces without detail.
Like... why does anyone have nipples? And so much hair, everywhere.
Even in this new, body positive era, the human body may be beautiful, but it ain't perfect.
Redditor u/The-Regal-Deathless wanted to discuss, the body and all of its mess by asking:
What's the biggest design fail of the human body?
Dogs. Dogs have a way better design. We tend to be far more clunky. We could've all be calibrated with more precise measurements at least. Let's see who agrees...
Tiny Issuesfact toes GIFGiphy
"Little toe, that tiny mf just there to get brutally abused by furniture."
"The fact that we have the tail bone but no tail, WE COULD HAVE A TAIL, BUT WE DON'T. Oh yeah, AND WE COULD HAVE STRIPES, under a certain light (forgot which type) you can see stripes on our skin. HUMANS COULD BE SO MUCH VISUALLY COOLER BUT WE JUST AREN'T. And funny bones, never hit it too much but when I do, it sucks, evolution just wanted to mess with us I swear 😤."
"Period, wth were they thinking."
"What I don't get about periods/cramps is why they are painful. Pain is supposed to be the way your body lets you know something is wrong. But periods are completely normal and occur regularly… so why do they hurt? (Even without medical issues I mean) Just freaking expel the blood/uterine lining and be done with it. I don't need the drama!! Haha."
"Hair, particularly in males, has a tendency to "slide" downwards as they age, growing on the back, chest, and butt but leaving the top of the head exposed. There needs to be a stronger epoxy in our hair that keeps in on top of the head where it belongs, an a repellent on the rest of the body where it doesn't belong, to prevent this downward "slide."
LashedLady Gaga Makeup GIF by MOODMANGiphy
"Eyelashes getting into your eyes and them feeling horrible. Also inhaling little bit of spit and you suffer a tiny death while coughing up what feels like all your innards."
Now eyelashes I love. I do, real or fake. I'm here for body flare but some of those other thoughts, I'm in agreement. I'm sorry for women and that "time of the month." God may definitely be a man with that one.
GO!!!black and white dancing GIFGiphy
"Knees. Seriously. These things get damaged so easily and just cause so much pain. Sure, they look cool, at first. But damnit, when they go - THEY GO."
"Spinal cord. In general. Look at how pressure and weight get applied, then look at spines for bipedal creatures, and it's kind of darkly funny."
"Well, everything here... but we also evolved as quadrupeds. Why you get so many back problems, knee problems, hip problems, organs not hanging but compressing each other. Lungs can't drain. We aren't really meant to walk upright. But it sorta worked. Just like everything else... it sorta works..."
"That those with penises have to expect them to stop working efficiently as they age, while those with vaginas have to experience random symptoms presenting out of nowhere (menopause) until they die, after years of their uterus ripping itself apart when an egg isn't fertilized. We got some problems."
"Wisdom teeth. Just, why?"
"Mine are weird. Still have all 4. Upper right is on an 45 degree angle. Lower ones are out for the most part. Upper left was supposed to come down when I had a molar next to it pulled… never appeared 6 years later. They aren't causing me problems but I'm probably getting them taken out this year. Might as well."
AirwaysHasan Minhaj Netflix GIF by Patriot ActGiphy
"Breathing and eating through one hole. I guess it's common among all animals not just humans but still, the Devs should be fired for that one."
Knees need more strength and I'd kill for more ways to breath, especially on a treadmill. The body is a mystery and a conundrum. But, it's all we've got, so take care of it.
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In an ideal world, every relationship has open, clear communication and there are no surprises when it comes to the state of the relationship. It's simply about laying the groundwork and creating a partnership.
But we don't live in an ideal world and some people do not have the skills to communicate like this. Instead they completely blindside their partners and put them in impossible positions.
So when Redditor u/JJBoB159 asked:
"What is the coldest way you found out your relationship was over?"
Here were some of the icy answers.
And The Fish Died Too
"I was heading home from college for three days, and I had asked my girlfriend to take care of my fish, I had an aquarium in my dorm room."
"I knew that we were having some miscommunication, so I wrote a letter to share what I was feeling."
"It was a very nice letter, and I was explaining that she meant a lot to me and that I was willing to do what it takes to keep the relationship working. And thank you for taking care of the fish."
"When I got back to college, when she saw me she said, 'We have to talk.'"
"I thought it was about the letter. She told me her friend asked about her relationship, and at first, she said it was fine, but her friend pressed her and said, 'is it really though?'"
"Then she began to realize it wasn't fine. So she decided to break up with me. I said, 'Did you read the letter?'"
"'What letter?' she said. 'The one I taped to the front of the fish tank.'"
"'Oh, after I decided to break up with you, I didn't think about feeding your fish.'"-Pongfarang
"Back in 1988, my mom's long term boyfriend went to go buy the Sunday paper and never came home. My mom thought he had been murdered, cops were involved, etc."
"If he was found at the time, my mom never heard of it. She spiraled into depression and ended up in the psych ward at the hospital. She learned later that he had abandoned us and moved to Nebraska to be with his ex wife."
"I found his address once the internet exploded and asked my mom if she wanted to contact him, but she declined. F**k you Jeff."-decanderus
Straight Up Cold
"One girl I was dating gave me a big basket of snacks and puzzle books for a week-long road trip I was taking."
"I tried calling her all week and never got ahold of her, when I got home at 3 am I found that she had left me a break up note the day after I had left, and had started sleeping with a co-worker the day I left."-JustAnoutherGeek
People sometimes just don't have the gall to actually break up with their partners.
Just The Worst Kind Of Person
"I visited my parents one weekend. While I was gone, he changed his relationship status to single and f**ked some other girl in our bed."
"His reasoning? We weren't Facebook official at the time, so it was ok. I came home to her picture on the nightstand instead of mine, so the he had planned the whole thing in advance."-0w1
"My girlfriend was cheating on me with 2 other guys. She tried asking out a third guy, and me and him happened to be close friends and he knew I was dating her, so he told me about it."
"I texted her saying that you have some explaining to do, and she played dumb, so I finally told her about it and her first response was 'WHO TOLD YOU THAT?!'"
"Yeah. Apparently getting revenged mattered more to the little sh*t than my feelings."
"I told her that it doesn't matter but she said she wouldn't explain if I didn't tell her, so (with my friends consent) I told her that he told me and she instantly started going on this long tirade about how he had ruined everything or some sh*t."
"I blocked her afterwards."-DiggityDog6
Such A Sad Moment
"This is a 3rd party story. I was a car insurance agent and when people split up and moved addresses they would call us and we'd split the policy."
"Car A with person A at address A and the rest at address B etc. When one person calls in, once the policy is split we call the other party to confirm the address, coverages etc."
"Well one day a woman calls in saying she and her husband are splitting up and she's moved. I separate the policy then call her husband."
"He was puzzled why I was calling and I explained (which is never comfortable) and he started sobbing. He just kept saying 'what do you mean she wants a divorce?! I thought we loved each other?' Etc."
"I felt awful for this guy. According to him this came out of left field and he had no idea she was going to divorce him. So I was used to tell this guy that she wanted a divorce."-CaraAsha
The Worst Kind Of Human
"First high school boyfriend, everything had been fine, we'd talked on the phone over the weekend. Go to school and strangely don't see him all day until I get to my fifth hour."
"He's standing outside the classroom door with a girl on each arm, calls me a b*tch as I get there, and leaves with the girls. I go in the room in shock to have a classmate say to me they heard P and I broke up. Well yeah I guess so."-Intelligent_One445
And while it's cold, it certainly says a whole lot more about the person being cold than the recipient.
"Not me but a friend. He came home from work to find his apartment empty except for his clothes in a pile in the bedroom and a pile of unpaid bills on the kitchen counter."
"Turns out she had been planning it for a few months stopped paying all the bills (including rent) saved the money and then just took off. Not even a f**k you letter. Just gone!"-TheTrollys
Always A Sidepiece, Never A Bride
"Heard from her sister and a friend of hers that she had slept with her 'ex' the previous weekend. We were all due to meet up for drinks on this particular night as I was struck down with an illness the weekend before."
"My heart sank when I heard the news and honestly it was quite embarrassing."
"She texted me a few days later explaining that she wasn't back with him and in had a lot going on etc. Eventually it came out that she never really broke up with him at all and I was just her bit on the side at the weekends."-Isfeidirlinn90
We Love Being Gaslit And Blindsided
"I had been going through a really tough time, my mom was fighting breast cancer, my boss was incredibly toxic and I started to feel like I was just going through motions but wasn't really there."
"My therapist finally convinced me to take a stress leave and get back on track, so I discussed it with my boyfriend and he said he would support me in my decision."
"Well, on the last Friday of work right as my stress leave was starting I got home and was actually excited to get back on track I got in the door and my bf said 'don't smoke weed!'" and I thought, 'nice a surprise date night!'... I was super wrong."
"He sat me down and broke up with me. We dated for 3.5 years and lived together and his main concern was who was going to keep the cat, he came armed with the fact that it was his house so it was better if he kept her."
"I bought the cat and loved her so much, but in that moment I felt defeated as hell so I agreed. I had been telling my mom just a week before that our relationship was going really well and I felt like he was going to propose so I was completely blindsided."
"I essentially lost my job, my house, my relationship and my cat in the same day. And went into an even more insane depression and he kept throwing more gas on that fire months after."
"I am very good now, my mom kicked cancer, I have a new job, a new boyfriend, and a new cat (though I still think about my old cat a lot, I know she is well.. but I still miss her). That sh*t was bleak AF though."-blondeboomie
It seems like sometimes people really just lack the courage to express how they're really feeling as it moves from moment to moment.
They end up blindsiding the people that thought they cared for them the most, leaving them by the wayside. Is it better to just express your feelings from the get-go? Or would you rather just let it all out at once?
If you don't have any experience with construction, it can be pretty interesting to watch those reality HGTV shows (I know I'm addicted at this point). Some of the best episodes can be the one's where they open up the walls to find the builder didn't do anything right, causing a huge blow to the budget. The drama!
As someone who doesn't know much about building, and is dreaming of homeownership, Redditor Vast_Recognition_682 asked a question I wish I had thought of first.
Redditor Vast_Recognition_682 asked:
"Home inspectors of reddit, what are some horrible things that almost went unnoticed?"
Here's some horror stories that shed a little light on the home owner unknowns.
Behind the closet wall.
"Going through a home with [the] home inspector, didn't find any issues, bring my dad in to look through the house too and he was [incessantly] checking everything. Looks at the Zillow listing with the floor plan, measures the basement, finds out the actual measurements smaller than the floor plan which led us to go looking in a closet and realize they finished a wall and closet around the old oil tank, never decommissioned it, never planned to tell anyone about it, and we would have had to rip walls out to get to it to remove it. It was a non starter and we walked away. So happy to have my dad's sharp eye while home shopping."
If you need a good prank idea when you're renovating, here's one:
"I saw a post once, this guy said his dad's house had a diagonal outer wall and he was installing a combination wall and bookshelf to square the room. Since there was a small dead space on one side, the dad (who was a doctor), got a life-size plastic human skeleton from work and tossed it in there."
"So if someone tore the wall out to remodel in 30 years or whatever, they'd see it and freak out."
Man cave mayhem.
"Not a home inspector, but I did ask our home inspector what crazy stuff he had seen over the years. He had two stories."
"He inspected a modest three bedroom house and found that were very strange structural cracks in the walls. The area where the house was built is primarily clay soil which leads to a lot of foundation issues, but these were really abnormal cracks. He headed to the attic to wrap up his inspection; it was located over the garage so there was absolutely no structural support there. He poked his head up into the attic and couldn't believe his eyes: the owner had a fully furnished man cave in the attic over the garage. It had a couch, big screen tv, weight set, and a huge gun safe. He said he had no idea how in the world all of that stuff didn't come crashing down through the garage ceiling or how the guy had managed to get the giant gun safe up there without some sort of elaborate winch system. He said it was only a matter of time before the house collapsed."
"The only other weird thing he encountered was a cistern (an old well) in a crawlspace underneath a house. He said he was crawling along on his stomach when he almost fell into it; it was left uncovered."
A rats nest of wires.
"I'm sure there will be some stories about wiring above drop ceilings. When I was looking at houses, I saw (not the home inspector) one once where like 10 different wires came into one rats nest of a cluster. To make it even better, there was a regular lamp cord that ran from it to power the hanging kitchen light above the table. And if you want whip cream and sprinkles on that.... the power came into that mess through knob and tube."
"I am an apprentice electrician and this comment just made my soul cry."
"I found an uncapped steel conduit with live wires behind my sink while remodeling. There wasn't even a cap on the wires."
"While ripping out our old kitchen we cut the old crappy countertop with a sawzaw, to our surprise saw a spark and blew a breaker. some mother f**kers who previously renovated this kitchen ran the wiring for a new outlet on the wall around the studs in a crevice in the back of the countertop...."
"My family flipped a house a few years ago. There were four ceilings, each a couple inches lower than the one before, and all but one had old wiring in it. It was like cutting into a weird lasagna, trying to find the studs in that house."
"Grandma was shrinking with old age, but her kids didn't want her to realize."
"Not me, but one I spoke to. Place almost passed, until out the corner of his eye... bam... jack stand holding up a beam under the house."
"Same with a house daughter was interested in. The place was a flip and totally redone. Beautiful. And down in the basement was a brick holding up a big beam."
This inspector had a full list.
1. "Furnace exhaust flue inlet at the attic furnace disconnected and a dead bird below it. Would have dumped all the furnace exhaust straight into the attic area. Obvious safety implication."
2. "Long time vacant house in a very secluded area. Reeked of cat p*ss and burnt plastic. No cats or cat feces in sight and no entry point for cats. Found small balloon in the corner of the floor where the fridge would be. Picked it up (with gloves) and white powder came spilling out. We came to the conclusion there was possibly the presence of methamphetamine in the home at some point and in some fashion."
3. "5 year old house, nice neighborhood, great shape, vacant. Everything looked good visually. In the attic, just after it had started raining heavily, a slight but constant drip was noticed from the roof sheathing in one area. Got lucky on that one. Sunny day, there would have been no evidence of any issue whatsoever."
4. "Homeowner DIY replaced the microwave and thought it would be 'clever' to run the exhaust vent into the wall cavity between the kitchen and adjacent laundry room. Just dumped the moisture into the wall. Mold city after a while if you do a lot of cooking while using the exhaust fan."
5. "60s house, well renovated. Range was a gas/electric dual fuel setup. Noticed broiler took forever to even start to warm up and never got hot enough that I couldn't touch it real quick (they usually glow red after like 30 seconds). Found out the range was plugged into a 110v outlet (enough to power the control panel and light) and not the proper 220v outlet (not even present). Oven was essentially useless. That one also had an incomplete drain line from a bathroom sink dumping everything directly into the crawlspace."
6. "New build. Got into the attic and just a quick 360° scan, something was off. Looking closer found a truss web beam that was completely gone, just ripped out (gusset plates bent to hell). Probably knocked out by the framing crews crane or something and they thought no one would notice. Time is money right? Lol"
They saved the day with this good catch!
"I used to work in a hospital, in IT. We were in a back corner of the oldest building. I used an out of the way stairwell, that had a 4 inch cast iron sprinkler main running through it."
"One day when I was leaving, I noticed a little tiny bit of water on the outside of the pipe. I went back to my desk, called maintenance, and asked them to send someone down so I could show them what I noticed. Walked the guy down to the stairwell and showed him, went on home."
"The next day I get to work and there's a letter on my desk. I open it, and it's from the director of maintenance. Seems that they shut down and depressurized the sprinkler line, and when they went to disconnect the section with the leak, the pipe just crumbled. They figured that my call prevented a major flood in materials management (which backed up to the stairwell on the floor below us) as well as a FD call-out, as the alarm would have gone when the pipe ruptured and water started flowing. The director sent me a very nice thank-you, and referred the situation to the cost-saving committee to see if they could get me a bonus based on preventing an accident."
The internet might just save homeowners on a whole lot of money by taking a closer look during the inspection. Thank goodness for this Ask Reddit post shedding light on the horror stories of homeownership and renovation mishaps.
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