You don't need to have children to be successful, but gender roles and societal expectations are awful. Just ask any woman you know: Chances are she's been poked and prodded and interrogated over her decision not to have children.
But life goes on and it's full of surprises, as we were so kindly reminded after Redditor Tera711 asked the online community: "Women of Reddit who didn't want to but ended up having kids, what was your experience like?"
"I'm the daughter..."
I'm the daughter of a mother who didn't really want kids or think she'd have them due to the possibility of an inherited disability. Long story short my parents saw a geneticist who said as long as they had kids before a certain age the risk was lower so they went ahead and had my sister and I as my Dad did want kids (although to be honest he just liked the idea of kids rather than the actual raising & responsibility of them). My mum used to tell me she felt cheated having us as we didn't fit into her plans or have the same interests as her.
I think that people need to realise that the kids have no choice in this matter once they are born and I hate that my relationship with my parents is so poor because we weren't really wanted.
"I didn't want kids..."
I didn't want kids, my ex husband did. We had 2. He asked for a divorce 8 months into my second pregnancy. It's way harder than I ever thought it would be. And I love my kids, I couldn't imagine my life without them now. But I still dream about what I wanted to be doing.. or how I can do something with small humans. It slowed down my career, it put major investment opportunities in hold. The sacrifice is underrepresented, far more than I could ever tell you. It's not the worst, worst thing. But if you don't want kids, don't change your mind for someone else.
"I love them as people..."
Oh, not good.
I love them as people, they are my family, they will have happy lives and I will protect them to the death...but I don't enjoy being a mother. I don't identify with it. I have to make sure I have a significant sense of self in my life outside of my time with them. I was young, and think I wanted the experience of being pregnant without what came next.
This is compounded by having two children with special needs, no doubt. When circumstances collide... I have to say no to a work trip, childcare falls through, etc, the sense of sadness and panic of the reality of being tethered to this role, forever, is... Overwhelming.
"And I'm so happy..."
Was always very firm I didn't want children. Not maternal at all. Got pregnant at 21 and had a daughter. I love her more than anything and I think I'm a good mum, but I don't think my life is somehow magically better for having her. I think I would have been equally happy without her. And I'm so happy that now she's 11, my time of active parenting is getting less. I will absolutely never have any more... I'm old enough to recognise I'm too selfish now. My views may be skewed because I've done it all alone, and that's not something I'd ever risk again.
"I always said..."
I always said I never wanted kids, but my husband and I decided to have one. I only said yes because he's the only person I could imagine doing that with and I honestly believed if I didn't, I would regret it when I was older.
Our daughter is almost 3 now and I had no idea I could love, and hate someone so much in my life. No matter how hard days have been with her (she's strong willed and hell bent all the time and is pretty much allergic to sleep), I have small moments with her that make my entire soul happy.
I hate having to live so much of my life for her because it can be overwhelming at times, but I never feel like I regret it. I literally cannot imagine what life would be without feeling her fall asleep in my arms, or seeing her face when she wakes up and sees me, or when she just kisses me and tells me she loves me for no reason.
I'm not a helicopter parent, I likely let her get away with too much, but she's a sweet kid who wants to take care of everyone around her, who just happens to have a raging attitude just like me.
10/10 would do again if I went back in time.
"A year later..."Giphy
I originally DID want kids. But then I had a nephew and decided I didn't want to be a mom. Being an aunt better suited me and I was totally in love with being one.
A year later I found myself pregnant unexpectedly. My birth control failed and my boyfriend and I had only been together for a couple of months. It was a whirlwind of emotions. But now we are a very happy little family living under one roof with our nine month old.
She is SOMETHING ELSE sometimes. She was an incredibly difficult baby- nothing like my nephew. I admit, there are times when I resent her and I feel like she's taking too much from me. But I can't imagine life without her now. And my boyfriend, who never wanted kids, is smitten with her. He texted me this morning "she sure grows on ya, doesn't she?"
"I didn't want..."
I didn't want to have kids even after meeting my ex husband. He had a daughter and even though I grew to love her I was terrified of the lifelong responsibility but getting to know my SD made me want a little one on my own. I have two now, 9 and 5 and another one on the way with my new partner.
Piece of advice though, which I noticed a lot of people do, my ex husband urged me to stay together for the kids so they wouldn't have to deal with a broken family, never have and/or stay with a partner because of your kids, with having them you have to sacrifice some parts of yourself but definitely not that. Children are ungrateful and they leave in the end, give to them as much as you can without sacrificing yourself too much. We are important too.
"I am now divorced..."
I know having kids was absolutely not for me. I always said I never wanted kids, but the guy I married did. Everyone told me how I would change my mind and how I would fall absolutely in love once I had one. So I ignored my instincts and trusted everyone else and had a kid.
I am now divorced and share custody of my son. If I'm being honest, the shared custody is what keeps me sane. I could not do this everyday. Being a mom, especially to a baby or toddler, is pure hell. I don't know why anyone would sign up for that, like ever. Don't even get me started on how people have more than one?!
But the silver lining is, it does get better as they get older. It gets easier. And honestly, everything everyone said is true. I love my kid more than life itself. I would do anything to make him happy. I love him more than I love myself. Still doesn't make me love being a mom though.
"I would have been better off..."
Not good. I had a lot of regret and rage for years. I don't recommend it if you're not 100%, or close to it.
I would have been better off never having had a kid. I dealt with it the best I could, because there's no going back and why make the kid suffer too.
"I met my wife..."
I didn't want any. I now have 5.
I met my wife and she had one. The kid was cool and I figured we could do one more and I liked the idea of pregnancy. Then we adopted two siblings. Then we got a call about another baby in need of a home.
I mostly didn't want kids because I accepted it wasn't going to happen. I'm glad it did.
"I was on the fence..."
I was on the fence, leaning towards not having them.
He's the best part of my life. It's hard and frustrating and exhausting sometimes, but so worth it. He's only 6 months old and I can't imagine not having him, he made our little family complete and I'm so excited for the adventures we're going to have. I am so, so, so glad we had him and have not regretted my decision for a second.
We got really lucky to have a "unicorn baby"- he sleeps well, is perfectly healthy, and very rarely fusses or cries. I think his disposition has gone a long way in helping me enjoy parenthood, but I'd love the shit out of him either way.
But I also don't think I'd have regretted not having kids. I can't imagine life without him now, but I think i could've been perfectly happy and fulfilled being childfree too.
"I did not want kids..."
I did not want kids, got pregnant at 17. Mother at 18. Stepmother at 38. So, now have two fully grown adult children. One married, one in college. I don't regret it as in, I LOVE both of them.
However, if I had it to do over again, I would make different life choices. That's the thing, right? We have this capacity to find the good and make the best of any situation even if it wasn't our first choice. But knowing what I have, I wouldn't give it up. If I had a do-over and got pregnant/didn't abort, I still would have kept the baby rather than adopt. But, if the do-over allowed me to NOT get pregnant, I'd choose that. It was really difficult for so many reasons.
All of that said, I've never been happier than I am now. My husband and I moved across the country, finally bought a house, and are both where we want to be. It took a lifetime, literally... but I'm finally here and finally at peace.
Having children is difficult under the best of circumstances. I feel that it was made easier for me for a lot of reasons. I had good family support. And having one "kid" at a time made things much easier. I knew my stepchild since birth but did not live w/get married to their father until they were in middle school. So, I didn't have to really do two "babies."
When I got married, my in-laws started in with the "when are you having a baby!?" stuff and I firmly said NO. Only pets from here on out. Truthfully, getting pregnant is one of my biggest fears. At this point in my life, I would be literally DEVASTATED to have to go through it all again. It's sort of up there with being buried alive. But I don't hate kids. I find other people's children to often be a wonderful source of joy. It's just not for me. I'm very happy being an aunt to 8.
"She developed some severe behavior issues..."
Sometimes yes and others not. Kid's dad ended up being basically useless, though I chalk that up to me being young and dumb and making a young dumb choice. She is wonderful. She was diagnosed with epilepsy at age 11 and it's not fully controlled so that's been hard. Luckily she doesn't have too many of the big kinds of seizures. She developed some severe behavior issues in adolescence and is now 16 and was just diagnosed with borderline personality disorder at the all girls residential psychiatric facility (think pool, chef, etc) I checked her in to to get her. I love her so so much. I am also terrified of when she comes home that she will upend my life again. It's finally been a quiet, stable six weeks with no surprises happening except one, and someone else handled that. I don't want her back. Not like this. Only because I can't handle it. I literally cannot work because of the impacts on me and there's no one to support me. I'm fucked, at least for a while. There are many wonderful days I've thought to myself how glad I am I had her, and others (even more recently) where I regret ever having a kid.
It's such a roll of the dice and you've no control over what you get. I don't think most people ask themselves if they're ready for these kinds of tragic and difficult situations - disease? Disability? Personality disorder? Illness? Something that makes them be a caregiver for the rest of their lives?
"I never wanted kids..."
I never wanted kids, but here I am with a 4 month old. I got pregnant, and everything inside me screamed not to abort. I had a fear of giving birth, it was actually my main reason for not wanting kids of my own, I didn't want to give vaginal birth. But I did. All the midwives and doctors told me it would be ok, my downstairs would return to normal. It might be, but this feeling I'm stuck with. I feel like I'm less worth as a person.
I love my baby, I'm glad I had him, because a world without him would be worse. He is such a happy baby, he constantly smiles and laughs and "talks". But I had him at the cost of being okay with myself.
"I was so sick."
I didn't want children, and I got pregnant not long after my first year of marriage. I was careful with my birth control, but I learned later that my migraine medication lowered the effectiveness of the pill.
I was so sick. I had to be put on special medication to stop me from throwing up, as I was vomiting upwards of 9 times a day. I couldn't eat anything. I wasn't sleeping, my headaches were awful since I couldn't take my medication. I'm a special education teacher, and someone always had to be covering my room so I could leave and throw up.
About since six months in we learned I had pre-eclampsia. My blood pressure was just out of control and some of my organs were starting to struggle. I was put on bed rest for a month and my mom had to come stay with me so my husband could continue working. He was calling every hour to check on me, and I was scared and still getting sick.
I was induced a month early, and I truly don't remember much. They over estimated how much anti-seizure medication I would need and I was confused and disoriented for most of the day.
I absolutely had PPD afterwards. I just shut down. I took care of our son, and that was it. I never neglected him, or was unkind to him, I fed him, changed him, rocked him, even sang and cuddled him, but I didn't care. My body was going through the actions and my mind was somewhere else. I would stand in the shower for hours and cry until the water was cold enough that it hurt to breathe. I would just sit and stare out the window or lay down in bed and look at a book without turning the page. I wasn't existing. I didn't talk to my friends or my husband. I didn't do anything. I scared my husband to death. I thought a lot about how easy it would be to drive my car into a tree or off a bridge. To take too many painkillers or leave the car on in the garage. I didn't want to be here anymore.
We couldn't afford for me to go to a therapist, and I never let anything out to let my husband know how bad I was spiraling. I don't know what got me out of it. Time, I guess. Rhythm, having a pattern that I followed everyday. My son getting older and gaining a personality. The consistency of my husband.
I learned my lesson though. When my son was two, I had had an IUD in since he was born. My husband had a vasectomy scheduled. And I had that same feeling, and I just knew. I took a pregnancy test, and I was pregnant again. I didn't sleep until I had an appointment at Planned Parenthood.
I was only five weeks along, but terminating the pregnancy was the beat decision I could have made. I know in my heart that if I would have kept it, and gone through another 8 months, I would have killed myself before it was over. I just couldn't do it again.
I love my son, he is three, hilarious, smart, and very very kind. He looks like his dad and his best friend is my mom. He loves our cat more than anyone and when he grows up he wants to be Elasti-girl from the Incredibles. He demands cuddles and we read a pile of books every night. He tells me I'm his princess, and I love him with all my heart.
I am a different person than I was before I had him. I miss the life I had before. I'm not going to say that I don't wish I couldn't change things. But that doesn't mean I don't love my son. This isn't the life I wanted or imagined, but it is mine, and it makes me happy.
"I never wanted children..."
I never wanted children because I didn't want the responsibility of taken care of a little person. It scared me more than anything. I got pregnant on accident and had my son and he is by far the best thing that could have happened. I loved being a mom so much we tried for more but sadly I miscarried multiple times. So he's my only one. The pregnancy for him was high risk, it was tough. He's my little miracle. I wouldn't change a thing.
"I wanted to be..."
I never wanted kids. Never wanted to get married. I wanted to be a sociologist in the Congo or something lol. 2 kids and 2 divorces later I've reconciled myself to the fact that I have no dreams anymore and my life and happiness is about the kids. I'm happy now but it took me a long time to be at peace with that.
The amount of frivolous personal complaints seems to have hit new levels.
Whether it's complaints from co-workers or customers, nonsense is nonsense. The things I've heard people complain about in the workplace boggles my mind.
"Your smile isn't bright enough."
"I didn't feel appreciated."
"The color of your shirt is too loud."
"Your name is offensive."
Redditor InfiniteCalendar1 wanted to hear about some of the drama that's been thrown people's way, so they asked:
"What is the most ridiculous thing someone has filed a complaint against you or someone you know about?"
I once had a customer complain I didn't read the menu to her.
Not make suggestions, but literally read the menu to her.
"you guys have a great day"Giphy
"Working in retail I once said 'you guys have a great day' I was reported by an elderly women who objected to not being addressed as 'ma'am'."
"She also objected to 'have a great day' because she had come into the aquarium store because her fish was dead and she was upset that someone would tell her to 'have a great day' when her fish had died."
A measly grand?
"I got sued in small claims court by a mentally ill man who said I stole $1000 worth of roast beef and 2 sun tanning lights from him."
"It got continued twice and by the time we had our day in court, he forgot what he sued me for and just went off on a tirade about me being an a**hole."
"I once had a complaint filed against me for calling someone a slur in the elevator. My boss called me in, and we watched the camera footage from the elevator."
"Me and the other person were talking and having a good conversation and laughing with each other. My boss just said 'yeah I watched it earlier and I have no idea what they are talking about'."
"So someone tried to get me fired for no reason."
(manager and up)
"I once was told there was a high-level (manager and up) meeting being held about me… on account of my emails being written too well. :/ "
"I can write quick, well-worded emails, and someone in upper management thought that I must have been spending too much time writing my emails, possibly as a means of appearing to be superior to others."
"I worked at McDonalds. A man put a complaint in because I wouldn't let him in after we'd already shut."
Yeah, closed means closed.
You had time to get there during open hours. See you tomorrow.
We have lives too.
No thank you...Giphy
"Got a complaint filed against me by a customer for unnecessary rudeness because I turned down a guy's offer to take me out on a date."
"He asked me (repeatedly) while I was working. Dude was at least in his mid 40s; I was 16."
a scarlet letter...
"When I was a teenager working at an ice cream store, a secret shopper wrote that I was 'friendly but did not smile'."
"This write up was posted on the bulletin board like it was a scarlet letter of shame and the manager talked to me about smiling more."
"30 years later, I am still friendly but unsmiling."
A Little Off
"I had a coworker from a different department call me this morning and threatened me for something his boss had done regarding something I have no control over."
"I eventually got him to sheepishly admit that there was nothing I had control over in the situation and he was mad his boss had made the decision without consulting him first."
"Government work attracts some odd balls."
I hate retail!
"I was working in a lighting store (ceiling lights, chandeliers, etc). Secret shoppers would get sent over to us every so often and they were usually pretty obvious."
"This guy claimed he needed ceiling fans for his home so I go through the whole thing finding fans that work in his rooms, suit the design of his home, airflow needs, etc. But obviously without a specific need to buy something requiring electrical wiring this guy left without purchasing."
"He wrote that I was excellent in every way but didn't try to upsell him anything."
"At the next staff meeting the manager read this out, tried shame me in front of everyone and stressed that we need to try and sell people crap they don't even need."
"How the heck do I upsell a damn ceiling fan? 'Hey would you like a $2000 crystal chandelier with your fans? How about a set of garden lights?' I hate retail."
Stay Literate...Read Friends Tv GIFGiphy
"I once had a coworker file an HR complaint against me for reading books at lunch."
"I told HR that he's probably just offended I'm not reading hardcore pornography magazines on the clock like he does."
I'm so glad I work at home with only dogs and a cat.
And when I go outside I avoid eye contact for all of these reasons.
Find some inner peace folks.
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Death is coming for all of us.
I hate that fact about life, so I do my best to ignore it. But I know it's there. So every once in a while I can't help but wonder about it.
My biggest hope is the end is quick and painless, but some warning would be nice, so I have time to do a few things.
I often ponder what that list of "things" would entail if I was given a warning.
And what if that ending was coming fast? How do you sufficiently spend a few hours wrapping up a life?
Redditor Valleygawd wanted to hear about how we would spend those final, precious moments by asking:
"You have 24 hours left alive, what do you do for your last day on earth?"
"Say goodbye to all my friends, go outside and take my dog on a long walk and then back home to have pizza and await my fate."
"Eat McDonald's at a Burger King. What they gonna do, send me to jail for life."
"I'd buy two large fries and two large cokes at Mcdonald's and take them over to Burger King and order two whoppers for lunch."
"I know this is satire, but a buddy of mine once got kicked out of a McDonald's lobby for bringing in KFC. We were all in high school and meeting to do homework but instead we all ended up leaving."
You've Got Mail
"Send out a chain message to everyone I know saying that if you don't share this with 10 people, the person you received this message from will die tomorrow."
"Plus add on that if the people they share it to don't share it to 10 other people, they will die themselves."
"If I'm guaranteed 24 hours alive I will do a ton of extremely dangerous crap because I can't die until the 24 hours are up."
"Morphine drip is how a lot of us go anyhow. Doesn't seem so bad."
Well that should keep the time lively, but I don't understand doing things that could cut short what little time there already is.
To each their own, I guess.
Out & AboutGiphy
"If I'm gonna die, then they might as well know. I'm coming out, doing what I want for once and having the most comforting day in my life."
Expose it All
"Tell everyone I love how I feel and then get all my passwords and crap in order so people can close out all my online activities. Then go hold my wife until I die... well, probably I'll go sit in the emergency room to die so my wife doesn't have to remember me dying in her arms the rest of her life."
"Rack up as much debt as I can buying expensive things and hiding them for my family to find later (after the estate has been sorted out)."
"Makes me wonder if I have 50k in CC debt and 75k in the bank, does my family get all 75 or will the bank be legally entitled to get 50k back?"
"The banks get 50k and your family gets the leftovers. If you don't have enough money then your estate is dissolved and your family gets nothing, the debt goes away (unless someone tricks your fam into paying the debt with their money)."
Send the Message
"Spend the 24 hours with my kids and family cultivating a few last precious memories for them. Also a few hours staving off sleep recording messages for them to be able to listen to when they are older - things they aren't old enough to hear, but I would like them to hear from me when they are ready for the message."
I don't know anymore...
"Well, I wouldn't live long enough to face the consequences for whatever I do, so I'd do some things I see as bad ideas at the moment:"
"I'd cuss out my most hated person in the world. Forget that guy."
"I'd tell my best friend (former best friend? I don't know anymore...) how I feel about them, and apologize for hiding it."
"Other than that, I dunno what I'd do, maybe spend time with friends or family or panic. Make sure to let everyone know that I wouldn't be around much longer."
Where to Begin?Giphy
"Fix my will, delete all electronics, call a firm to take my stuff to goodwill, call a real estate agent and put apartment for sale, give my organs to hospital. And if time, I reckon a good nap and massage would be nice too."
Is there really a best way to spend your last 24 hours?
You can't travel, that's time consuming. There will always be so much more to do.
Que será, será, I suppose.
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You never really know the people you meet.
Sound a little too much? You'd be surprised.
Who was the most dangerous person you've meet?
You can meet people randomly, anywhere, who might possess more than what's on the surface. Either their past, or their present, dictates their capabilities, and if you say or do the wrong thing, they could lash out at you at any moment.
Say More Right Now!
"My ex. He was handsome and charismatic and very charming. Like a monster in beautiful sheep's clothing. Suddenly after a few fingers of Brandy, he made Charles Manson look inviting. It took 4.5 years, a hostage situation, a SWAT team, and me changing my name and moving 5 states to get away."
"Some people need warning labels."
Needing Something To Help Change
"A guy who I knew for a long time, was extremely friendly and overall a nice guy, we used to live in the same building but didn't hang out often."
"Time passed and I didn't see him for years, though he headed back to the state his family lives at, pretty far from where I live, instead, I learned after he got released that he went to prison for 7 years for drug dealing and [selling] illegal guns, turns out the guy was kind of a big shot in organized crime [around] the area, never suspected a thing."
"Now days he did a completely 180°, his daughter was born and he's working in a honest job, I'm glad things are looking better for him, still kinda weird, I used to play soccer with the guy and thought I knew him well, when in fact I knew nothing about him..."
Not Full Of It
"So seems like everyone is naming off various criminals. I was in the military (not me or any of my close buddies, I was a mechanic). One of the instructors in my training company was a sniper with many deployments and a slew of confirmed kills. Sometimes instructors like to hype themselves or fellow instructors up to scare recruits. Well I ended up running into him a few years later on deployment and turns out he was indeed not full of sh-t. He was about to board one of birds to go out on a mission. One that ended being "successful". Also, outside of boot camp, he was a very calm and genuinely nice guy. Unless you were the enemy of course"
"I once met a violent felon from England who had just been released from prison. My cousin took me to a random house party, I started a conversation with the other person that seemed awkward there. Turns out they had just been released from prison recently for violent offense. To make matters worse, instead of flashing him the peace sign as I left, apparently I made a vulgar gesture and I had to get to the vehicle quickly."
It's always the ones you least expect, right? The ones who are maybe a little too quiet, or maybe a little too nice, who reveal themselves to be the most deadly.
A Lot For Someone Under 18
"Grew up with a kid on my street in a small town. He was a few years older than kinda a punk as a kid, but we all were. Used to skateboard, rollerblade and he would show me Explicit music when I was too young to get it myself. Come high school time we never really associated because he had gotten heavily into drugs. Got into a bad meth deal and went back and blew their heads off a few blocks from our houses… After the whole story came out, it turns out they had tied him to a chair and burnt him with cigarettes repeatedly. Obviously killing someone is wrong but, I'm fairly certain a child doesn't deserve full punishment for killing 2 men who tortured him. I'm pretty sure he got life in prison before he even turned 18"
Almost Hired Them
"We had a young carpenter come to our home to discuss a remodeling job when we had young children."
"Very soon afterward there was an article in the newspaper about him - how he had been accidentally released from prison. He had murdered a small child, and was sent back to jail."
"I've always wondered what could have happened if we had hired him, and our children had been rambunctious and annoyed him....."
Not Where I'm Supposed To Be
"Some guy I met in county jail. GP was filled up, so they put me on the psych floor. I figured he was just there for a minor thing because he didn't seem like a bad guy. Turns out he killed two people over a drug deal gone bad. Dismembered their bodies then just left them like that in an open field to send a message."
"Why were you in the same pod as them? What crimes were you in for damn"
"Warrant for unpaid speeding tickets. Back then, county was so full, they just put you wherever there's space to fit a new body. They didn't care."
You Think You Know Someone...
"The security guard at my office building was the nicest guy. Always greeted everyone by name, always remembered little details about people, like, "Hey, how is your dog doing? Did everything check out at the vet?" And so on. Told me he was patrolling the lot, and noticed the air in my tires was getting a bit low, and to be careful."
"One morning, he came in, was telling jokes, smiling as always."
"Later that evening found out he had killed his wife and young son the night before, and came into work like nothing happened!"
Never Let Age Or Stature Indicate Capability
"Something similar happened to me. This girl I wouldn't say was scary in the sense of stature or physically scary at all, though she was pretty weird. So I worked at phone store a couple years ago and she came in with her mom, she's probably high school aged if I recall correctly, so they come in and this is the 2nd time in a week or so so I help them out again, they buy 2 phones and 2 smart watches and finance it all on their account, both happy as can be laughing and making conversation."
"I show up to work the next day and my manger is talking about something in the news, apparently [Insert girls name] had taken her best friend out into the woods and shot her in the back of the head the day before she came in and bought some stuff from me. I spent probably a good 2 hours with her. Pretty crazy stuff."
Dungeons & Dragons & Murder
"Similar - A guy I used to play D&D with ran the game from his basement. He told us one week to move our stuff from the table to a shelf if we were going to leave it there because he was going to do "spring cleaning" in the late summer. The room looked clean but what ever. He "forgot" to do it that week and had us to it the next week (2nd friday). Then the third friday when we gamed again he got a call from the cops asking if he knew anything about his ex from 10 years ago that was missing. He told us all he had nothing to do with it. That following monday he was swated, the cops searched his house and took his truck. A month later they found an odd stop on his trucks GPS. After checking that stop they found her body."
"The entire time he was acting like his normal self other then "being tired from cleaning". He is now sitting in jail. I wrote him once. He acts like nothing is wrong and that he will be out "soon" even though its been a full year. I hope he rots."
You never know who you're talking with.
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Humans can connect with everything.
Which fictional character's death made you cry?
Let's get the notable ones out of the way, the ones that hit us as kids that we've never truly gotten over.
Feeling That Real World Connection
"Sirius Black; I sobbbbbbed my first read through of Order of the Phoenix ."
"As someone who's parents are dead and who's uncle became the parent by default, I can't agree more with this. I watched his death while running on the treadmill the other day and had to stop because I was crying from all orifices"
The Song Is Called "Married Life." You're Welcome.
"Ellie from Up! "
"Gets me every time"
Gotta Watch Them Bees
"Too many to count but I remember crying my eyes out at the end of My Girl when I was like, seven or eight watching it on VHS, probably the first character death that made me cry"
"His glasses! He can't see without his glasses." Gets me EVERY time"
Just When You Think There's Only One To Deal With...
"Tara from Buffy"
"Also Joyce, I bawled my eyes out"
"I'm showing Buffy to a friend for the first time and Joyce's death basically just happened. Buffy's reaction is so heartbreaking. We watched Once More With Feeling last night so Tara's death is only a few episodes away now. I'm dreading it."
Maybe it's the nature of the death, or how we feel a character didn't deserve their untimely fate, that resonates with us the most. "They didn't deserve that!" we'll scream to no one because we're in a theater or at home, watching Netflix at 3 in the morning.
You Know There's Only Going To Be One
"Ali in squid game"
"I actually cried"
"There are other scenes that made me cry in the show, but Ali's is the only one that's literally so goddamn hard for me to watch."
I'm Tired, Boss
"John Coffey from The Green Mile."
"Ughhh. It's "Don't put me in the dark boss, I'm scared of the dark" gets me every time. That and hanks grabbing his hand."
That's Somehow Worse Than Crying?
"Leslie in Bridge to Terabithia"
"I didn't cry, but I still remember vivid dreams about trying to find her in a search party on more than one occasion."
And then there's these, characters who sacrificed everything for the ensuring safety of their friends, family, and loved ones.
Men Are Imperfect
"Borimir, he died with honor, you wanna make a man cry show him a gripping scene of a man restoring his honor and being strong in the face of great adversity at the cost of his own life. The scene with him as he dies holding aragorns hand asking forgiveness and receiving it, im tearing up rn f-ck."
"Disappointing how far I had to scroll to find this response."
"Boromir was a true representative of mankind. An extremely complex character that was good at heart, but was overcome with desperation. He didn't know what would happen with his community and acted how he thought was right."
"At the end of the day, he did the right thing when his friends were in danger."
"One of the best characters ever to be created. He causes such internal strife for me every time I watch the movies. Depending how my life is at the time, I will agree with different aspects of his actions. But at the end of the day I will always respect him and cry when he dies."
He Might Have Been Your Father...
"Since I watched it again last night, Yondu in Guardians of the Galaxy 2. The Ravager funeral always gets to me, especially Kraglin's reaction to it."
"He may have been your father, boy, but he wasn't your daddy!"
"My wife had a six year old daughter when we met. She'd gone no contract with the father when my step daughter was 2 because he was unstable and had violent tendencies. My step daughter tracked him down when she was about 14 and started rebuilding their relationship. He'd gotten mental health treatment in the twelve years since my wife met him, so we were okay with this and she even went live with him for a while. That didn't last because he didn't have the patience to cope with the unique challenges of being a parent to her (she has her own mental health issues) and she came back home, saying that she was glad to have gotten to know him but that I was her real dad."
"Yeah, I ugly cried in the theater when Yondu died."
You Can Rest, Now
"Tony Stark, he was the first hero I watched in high school. By the time he died, I realized I'd known the guy through movies for over 10 years at that point. I had graduated college, grad school, and started a new job. All those memories of my friends learning how to play the iron man theme song were some of the best years."
"This one was harsh. I was not expecting it."
"And then you start thinking about his kid and Pepper who he left behind. Damn, I'm going to get choked up thinking about it."
I'm not crying.
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