You don't need to have children to be successful, but gender roles and societal expectations are awful. Just ask any woman you know: Chances are she's been poked and prodded and interrogated over her decision not to have children.
But life goes on and it's full of surprises, as we were so kindly reminded after Redditor Tera711 asked the online community: "Women of Reddit who didn't want to but ended up having kids, what was your experience like?"
"I'm the daughter..."
I'm the daughter of a mother who didn't really want kids or think she'd have them due to the possibility of an inherited disability. Long story short my parents saw a geneticist who said as long as they had kids before a certain age the risk was lower so they went ahead and had my sister and I as my Dad did want kids (although to be honest he just liked the idea of kids rather than the actual raising & responsibility of them). My mum used to tell me she felt cheated having us as we didn't fit into her plans or have the same interests as her.
I think that people need to realise that the kids have no choice in this matter once they are born and I hate that my relationship with my parents is so poor because we weren't really wanted.
"I didn't want kids..."
I didn't want kids, my ex husband did. We had 2. He asked for a divorce 8 months into my second pregnancy. It's way harder than I ever thought it would be. And I love my kids, I couldn't imagine my life without them now. But I still dream about what I wanted to be doing.. or how I can do something with small humans. It slowed down my career, it put major investment opportunities in hold. The sacrifice is underrepresented, far more than I could ever tell you. It's not the worst, worst thing. But if you don't want kids, don't change your mind for someone else.
"I love them as people..."
Oh, not good.
I love them as people, they are my family, they will have happy lives and I will protect them to the death...but I don't enjoy being a mother. I don't identify with it. I have to make sure I have a significant sense of self in my life outside of my time with them. I was young, and think I wanted the experience of being pregnant without what came next.
This is compounded by having two children with special needs, no doubt. When circumstances collide... I have to say no to a work trip, childcare falls through, etc, the sense of sadness and panic of the reality of being tethered to this role, forever, is... Overwhelming.
"And I'm so happy..."
Was always very firm I didn't want children. Not maternal at all. Got pregnant at 21 and had a daughter. I love her more than anything and I think I'm a good mum, but I don't think my life is somehow magically better for having her. I think I would have been equally happy without her. And I'm so happy that now she's 11, my time of active parenting is getting less. I will absolutely never have any more... I'm old enough to recognise I'm too selfish now. My views may be skewed because I've done it all alone, and that's not something I'd ever risk again.
"I always said..."
I always said I never wanted kids, but my husband and I decided to have one. I only said yes because he's the only person I could imagine doing that with and I honestly believed if I didn't, I would regret it when I was older.
Our daughter is almost 3 now and I had no idea I could love, and hate someone so much in my life. No matter how hard days have been with her (she's strong willed and hell bent all the time and is pretty much allergic to sleep), I have small moments with her that make my entire soul happy.
I hate having to live so much of my life for her because it can be overwhelming at times, but I never feel like I regret it. I literally cannot imagine what life would be without feeling her fall asleep in my arms, or seeing her face when she wakes up and sees me, or when she just kisses me and tells me she loves me for no reason.
I'm not a helicopter parent, I likely let her get away with too much, but she's a sweet kid who wants to take care of everyone around her, who just happens to have a raging attitude just like me.
10/10 would do again if I went back in time.
"A year later..."
GiphyI originally DID want kids. But then I had a nephew and decided I didn't want to be a mom. Being an aunt better suited me and I was totally in love with being one.
A year later I found myself pregnant unexpectedly. My birth control failed and my boyfriend and I had only been together for a couple of months. It was a whirlwind of emotions. But now we are a very happy little family living under one roof with our nine month old.
She is SOMETHING ELSE sometimes. She was an incredibly difficult baby- nothing like my nephew. I admit, there are times when I resent her and I feel like she's taking too much from me. But I can't imagine life without her now. And my boyfriend, who never wanted kids, is smitten with her. He texted me this morning "she sure grows on ya, doesn't she?"
"I didn't want..."
I didn't want to have kids even after meeting my ex husband. He had a daughter and even though I grew to love her I was terrified of the lifelong responsibility but getting to know my SD made me want a little one on my own. I have two now, 9 and 5 and another one on the way with my new partner.
Piece of advice though, which I noticed a lot of people do, my ex husband urged me to stay together for the kids so they wouldn't have to deal with a broken family, never have and/or stay with a partner because of your kids, with having them you have to sacrifice some parts of yourself but definitely not that. Children are ungrateful and they leave in the end, give to them as much as you can without sacrificing yourself too much. We are important too.
"I am now divorced..."
I know having kids was absolutely not for me. I always said I never wanted kids, but the guy I married did. Everyone told me how I would change my mind and how I would fall absolutely in love once I had one. So I ignored my instincts and trusted everyone else and had a kid.
I am now divorced and share custody of my son. If I'm being honest, the shared custody is what keeps me sane. I could not do this everyday. Being a mom, especially to a baby or toddler, is pure hell. I don't know why anyone would sign up for that, like ever. Don't even get me started on how people have more than one?!
But the silver lining is, it does get better as they get older. It gets easier. And honestly, everything everyone said is true. I love my kid more than life itself. I would do anything to make him happy. I love him more than I love myself. Still doesn't make me love being a mom though.
"I would have been better off..."
Not good. I had a lot of regret and rage for years. I don't recommend it if you're not 100%, or close to it.
I would have been better off never having had a kid. I dealt with it the best I could, because there's no going back and why make the kid suffer too.
"I met my wife..."
I didn't want any. I now have 5.
I met my wife and she had one. The kid was cool and I figured we could do one more and I liked the idea of pregnancy. Then we adopted two siblings. Then we got a call about another baby in need of a home.
I mostly didn't want kids because I accepted it wasn't going to happen. I'm glad it did.
"I was on the fence..."
I was on the fence, leaning towards not having them.
He's the best part of my life. It's hard and frustrating and exhausting sometimes, but so worth it. He's only 6 months old and I can't imagine not having him, he made our little family complete and I'm so excited for the adventures we're going to have. I am so, so, so glad we had him and have not regretted my decision for a second.
We got really lucky to have a "unicorn baby"- he sleeps well, is perfectly healthy, and very rarely fusses or cries. I think his disposition has gone a long way in helping me enjoy parenthood, but I'd love the shit out of him either way.
But I also don't think I'd have regretted not having kids. I can't imagine life without him now, but I think i could've been perfectly happy and fulfilled being childfree too.
"I did not want kids..."
I did not want kids, got pregnant at 17. Mother at 18. Stepmother at 38. So, now have two fully grown adult children. One married, one in college. I don't regret it as in, I LOVE both of them.
However, if I had it to do over again, I would make different life choices. That's the thing, right? We have this capacity to find the good and make the best of any situation even if it wasn't our first choice. But knowing what I have, I wouldn't give it up. If I had a do-over and got pregnant/didn't abort, I still would have kept the baby rather than adopt. But, if the do-over allowed me to NOT get pregnant, I'd choose that. It was really difficult for so many reasons.
All of that said, I've never been happier than I am now. My husband and I moved across the country, finally bought a house, and are both where we want to be. It took a lifetime, literally... but I'm finally here and finally at peace.
Having children is difficult under the best of circumstances. I feel that it was made easier for me for a lot of reasons. I had good family support. And having one "kid" at a time made things much easier. I knew my stepchild since birth but did not live w/get married to their father until they were in middle school. So, I didn't have to really do two "babies."
When I got married, my in-laws started in with the "when are you having a baby!?" stuff and I firmly said NO. Only pets from here on out. Truthfully, getting pregnant is one of my biggest fears. At this point in my life, I would be literally DEVASTATED to have to go through it all again. It's sort of up there with being buried alive. But I don't hate kids. I find other people's children to often be a wonderful source of joy. It's just not for me. I'm very happy being an aunt to 8.
"She developed some severe behavior issues..."
Sometimes yes and others not. Kid's dad ended up being basically useless, though I chalk that up to me being young and dumb and making a young dumb choice. She is wonderful. She was diagnosed with epilepsy at age 11 and it's not fully controlled so that's been hard. Luckily she doesn't have too many of the big kinds of seizures. She developed some severe behavior issues in adolescence and is now 16 and was just diagnosed with borderline personality disorder at the all girls residential psychiatric facility (think pool, chef, etc) I checked her in to to get her. I love her so so much. I am also terrified of when she comes home that she will upend my life again. It's finally been a quiet, stable six weeks with no surprises happening except one, and someone else handled that. I don't want her back. Not like this. Only because I can't handle it. I literally cannot work because of the impacts on me and there's no one to support me. I'm fucked, at least for a while. There are many wonderful days I've thought to myself how glad I am I had her, and others (even more recently) where I regret ever having a kid.
It's such a roll of the dice and you've no control over what you get. I don't think most people ask themselves if they're ready for these kinds of tragic and difficult situations - disease? Disability? Personality disorder? Illness? Something that makes them be a caregiver for the rest of their lives?
"I never wanted kids..."
I never wanted kids, but here I am with a 4 month old. I got pregnant, and everything inside me screamed not to abort. I had a fear of giving birth, it was actually my main reason for not wanting kids of my own, I didn't want to give vaginal birth. But I did. All the midwives and doctors told me it would be ok, my downstairs would return to normal. It might be, but this feeling I'm stuck with. I feel like I'm less worth as a person.
I love my baby, I'm glad I had him, because a world without him would be worse. He is such a happy baby, he constantly smiles and laughs and "talks". But I had him at the cost of being okay with myself.
"I was so sick."
I didn't want children, and I got pregnant not long after my first year of marriage. I was careful with my birth control, but I learned later that my migraine medication lowered the effectiveness of the pill.
I was so sick. I had to be put on special medication to stop me from throwing up, as I was vomiting upwards of 9 times a day. I couldn't eat anything. I wasn't sleeping, my headaches were awful since I couldn't take my medication. I'm a special education teacher, and someone always had to be covering my room so I could leave and throw up.
About since six months in we learned I had pre-eclampsia. My blood pressure was just out of control and some of my organs were starting to struggle. I was put on bed rest for a month and my mom had to come stay with me so my husband could continue working. He was calling every hour to check on me, and I was scared and still getting sick.
I was induced a month early, and I truly don't remember much. They over estimated how much anti-seizure medication I would need and I was confused and disoriented for most of the day.
I absolutely had PPD afterwards. I just shut down. I took care of our son, and that was it. I never neglected him, or was unkind to him, I fed him, changed him, rocked him, even sang and cuddled him, but I didn't care. My body was going through the actions and my mind was somewhere else. I would stand in the shower for hours and cry until the water was cold enough that it hurt to breathe. I would just sit and stare out the window or lay down in bed and look at a book without turning the page. I wasn't existing. I didn't talk to my friends or my husband. I didn't do anything. I scared my husband to death. I thought a lot about how easy it would be to drive my car into a tree or off a bridge. To take too many painkillers or leave the car on in the garage. I didn't want to be here anymore.
We couldn't afford for me to go to a therapist, and I never let anything out to let my husband know how bad I was spiraling. I don't know what got me out of it. Time, I guess. Rhythm, having a pattern that I followed everyday. My son getting older and gaining a personality. The consistency of my husband.
I learned my lesson though. When my son was two, I had had an IUD in since he was born. My husband had a vasectomy scheduled. And I had that same feeling, and I just knew. I took a pregnancy test, and I was pregnant again. I didn't sleep until I had an appointment at Planned Parenthood.
I was only five weeks along, but terminating the pregnancy was the beat decision I could have made. I know in my heart that if I would have kept it, and gone through another 8 months, I would have killed myself before it was over. I just couldn't do it again.
I love my son, he is three, hilarious, smart, and very very kind. He looks like his dad and his best friend is my mom. He loves our cat more than anyone and when he grows up he wants to be Elasti-girl from the Incredibles. He demands cuddles and we read a pile of books every night. He tells me I'm his princess, and I love him with all my heart.
I am a different person than I was before I had him. I miss the life I had before. I'm not going to say that I don't wish I couldn't change things. But that doesn't mean I don't love my son. This isn't the life I wanted or imagined, but it is mine, and it makes me happy.
"I never wanted children..."
I never wanted children because I didn't want the responsibility of taken care of a little person. It scared me more than anything. I got pregnant on accident and had my son and he is by far the best thing that could have happened. I loved being a mom so much we tried for more but sadly I miscarried multiple times. So he's my only one. The pregnancy for him was high risk, it was tough. He's my little miracle. I wouldn't change a thing.
"I wanted to be..."
I never wanted kids. Never wanted to get married. I wanted to be a sociologist in the Congo or something lol. 2 kids and 2 divorces later I've reconciled myself to the fact that I have no dreams anymore and my life and happiness is about the kids. I'm happy now but it took me a long time to be at peace with that.
- People Who Only Became A Parent Because Their Partner Wanted Kids Share Their Experiences - George Takei ›
- People Explain Which Gender Stereotypes They Absolutely Despise - George Takei ›
- Pregnant Women Break Down Which Things They Wish They Knew Before Getting Pregnant - George Takei ›
- People Who Do Not Want Children Share Their Reasoning - George Takei ›
- People Share The Real Reason They Don't Want To Have Kids - George Takei ›
- People Confess The Biggest Reasons They Don't Want To Have Kids - George Takei ›
- People Share Their Views On Having Children - George Takei ›
- People Share Their Views On Having Children - George Takei ›
People Explain Which Red Flags They Can't See Past In A Partner
Reddit user WoodenInevitable1574 asked: 'What is one red flag in a partner that negates all green flags for you?'
All significant others have one type of idiosyncratic behavior that can be easily overlooked.
While the unique characteristic can be annoying, it can also be a charming attribute that makes your loved one extra special to you because it's harmless.
However, there are some behaviors that are unacceptable and can signal the end of relationships.
Red flags aren't as easily negotiable and can be a strong indicator that your partner may not be worth investing in.
Curious to hear from strangers about their hard limits, Redditor WoodenInevitable1574 asked:
"What is one red flag in a partner that negates all green flags for you?"
These red flags are mainly representative of how people treat others.
Meaness
"Cruelty. People can hide it pretty well sometimes but when you see it, it’s best to dip."
– anon
"Sometimes it's hard to distinguish between a human being dumb or being cruel."
– ERSTF
Dramatics
"Victim complex and being rude to people."
– WouldUKindlyDMBoobs
"Just ended a friendship I’ve had with someone since kindergarten due to this."
"She was always the hero or the victim (ya know, always the martyr), and it was always about her. Sad that it ended after so long but I couldn’t take it anymore, and I hated feeling like a hypocrite, calling myself her friend while growing to resent her more and more each day."
– kgriff112
The One-Upper
"Oooh victim complex is a good one."
"Had a girlfriend once where literally no matter what you spoke of or what anybody else spoke of. She had a dozen stories about how her life is far worse than yours and would only talk about her medical issues, it would get brought up legit over 50 times in a day. It was always worse near other people too."
"Girl, I get it, you have had a less than ideal life. But making your entire Personality based around it is insufferable. Shut up and let other people speak for once."
– bumliveronions
You can never trust these kinds of people in relationships. If you spot this red flag, run the other way.
Liars
"Dishonesty."
– pretty_monotonous
"Of course, because then the green flags may all be false."
– sketchysketchist
Taking Daddy's Money
"Was dating a girl and all of the sudden she had way more spending money than what she was earning. I ultimately found out that her dad sent her a check for her college tuition at the private university she was enrolled at, but she dropped several of the classes for ones at the local community college she could get transfer credit for at a fraction of the cost."
"Yeah, embezzling from your dad is not a good sign in a long term partner or spouse."
– tacknosaddle
Schemer
"Malicious Manipulation of any form."
– PsychologicalRing959
These behaviors are unacceptable and can be problematic for the relationship.
"What they say about people behind their back."
– Street_Piece8194
Tossin' Trash
"Littering. Like blatantly. Throwing trash out of a car window, for example. It's my pet peeve. Of course, I'd point it out to them first and see if they stopped doing it, but it would still be a huge red flag to me."
– Hippycowgirl411
Anger Issues
"Extreme outburst of anger."
– itzrx
"Too many people let this go because they saw their parents do it."
– DeepInternet
Excuse For Rage
"Relationship with anger for me. Some people have conditions where they might have a brief verbal outburst they can’t control at first. But if they can get it under control and apologize, then they aren’t committed to their feelings of anger."
"But if they’re the kind of person who gets angry, knowing they’re wrong, but keep pushing because they’re angry and stubborn. The kind of person who gets angry and says 'my emotions are valid' and uses it to justify their actions. The kind of person who decides to hold onto every 'wrong' in a relationship to use in the next argument. Those are commitments to excusing their anger."
– ClassicAF23
The Center Of The Universe
"Over the top solipsism. That 'I don't perceive it that way, so it cannot be true' mentality."
– UnoriginalUse
As someone mentioned above, dishonesty is THE major red flag for me.
If a person can't be honest with me about the most basic things, what makes them think they have my trust down the line?
Like, what are they hiding? No, thanks to playing reindeer games.
A great movie is one that you can watch over and over again, and can't stop talking about.
Indeed, some people have seen some movies so many times that they've begun to notice minute details that other viewers no doubt overlooked upon their first viewing.
While others have started in-depth analyses of the story and characters, namely what happened to all of them afterward, or what led them to where they are at the start of the film.
Otherwise known as fan theories.
Be it on the internet, or in your local coffee shop, some people simply can't stop talking about their favorite fan theories, from Andy's Mom being Jesse's original owner in the Toy Story films to the possibility that Danny and Sandy are dead at the end of Grease and driving up to heaven (...why else weren't they in Grease 2?...)
"Movie buffs of Reddit, what is your favorite fan theory for any well-loved and popular movie?"
It Makes Sense That He Would Change His Identity...
"'Heavyweights' is a prequel to Dodgeball."
"Tony Perkiss = White Goodman"- drunkpilot2
High Five Ben Stiller GIFGiphyYou'd Think They Would Have At Least Introduced Themselves...
"'Lord of the Rings', Frodo doesn't know Legolas's name."
"He never once says it and in the end scene where everyone runs in to see Frodo in the hospital, Frodo yells out everyone's name in excitement as they come in....except for Legolas, who he just stares at smiling, then Gimli walks in and he's back to it yelling 'Gimli!'."- Grouchy_Cat8054
...But Does The Movies Actually Make Sense?...
"The Machines are the good guys in 'The Matrix'."
"If you watch 'The Animatrix' you see that the Machines tried to be democratic members of society and when the humans wouldn't let them create their own country."
"The humans then wage war against that nation."
"The Machines at any time could make the planet unlivable for humans but they never do."
"The humans actually have the bright idea to block out the sun because the Machines are primarily solar powered."
"The Machines convert to nuclear then win the war against humans."
"THEN start plugging humans into the Matrix, an inferior source of energy to nuclear."
"I believe the Machines put the humans in their to keep them safe from the hellscape they created."
"They never truly eradicate the humans that have escaped the Matrix."
"Just keep them powerless enough to protect themselves."
"When Agent Smith is ranting about how much humans disgust (in part 1) him the other agent is skeeved out, and even says, 'What are you doing?'."
"Agent Smith is an outlier, threatening what the Machines collectively want."
"The Machines even ally with the humans against Agent Smith."
"An alliance the Machines readily accept because they always wanted to get along with humans."
"They call off the attack on Zion, ending the cycle of destruction and rebuilding."
"They have no reason to honor Neo's terms after he dies, but they do because they wanted peace all along."
"Allowing the humans the belief that Neo fostered a peace and they should relegate their conflict with the Machines to inside the Matrix works perfectly for them."
"No human or machine deaths."
"Humans that can sense the Matrix get segregated."
"Zion and the machine nation coexist."
"It's everything they ever wanted."- NucularRobit
"I've always loved the idea that the reason the CGI fight scenes between Neo and Agent Smith in 'Matrix Reloaded' and 'Revelations' looks so weird and 'bad', is that they are moving so fast that the Matrix is having trouble rendering them."- Righteous_Itch
the matrix 90s GIFGiphyCertainly Opens The Door For Volume 3...
"Bill didn’t die at the end of 'Kill Bill'."
"Both he and Beatrix knew that the 5-point palm exploding heart technique was fake."
"Using it on him was Beatrix’s way of saying 'if you play along and play dead, I’ll just take my daughter and go'.”- Rhodie114
Explains Why He Didn't Attend 'Rushmore'"...
"Napoleon Dynamite is what poor people are like in the Wes Anderson universe."- natelopez53
Still Doesn't Mean it's Watchable...
"The movie 'Batman & Robin' was actually an in-universe movie made by people that live in Gotham City."- Mr--Imp
george clooney batman GIF by MauditGiphyTheory, Or Fact?
"The 'Mad Max' movies all tell the same story."
"Max is a mythological figure in the post-apocalyptic wasteland, who in reality was maybe once a cop or something similar as society was breaking down."
"However as subsequent generations have lost more and more of society that was pre-collapse, subsequent generational retellings of the story have verged away more wildly from the truth."
"The bones of the story is that he is a man stricken by grief who adopts a small community in need and fights of a gang of vehicular maniacs but does not remain with them in the end."- WhapXI·
Of All The Names He Could Have Chosen...
"Shrek didn't have a name and made it up on the spot when Donkey asked him."- I_might_be_weasel
"I'll Be Back" makes so much more sense...
"That 'Terminator 1' wasn't the first pass through the timeline and John Connor deliberately chose his own father to give himself a better chance."- Astramancer_
terminator GIFGiphyBackstory For A Board Game...
"While not a well loved or popular movie, my theory on the 'Battleship' movie is a cheap alien production company is attempting to film some sort of nature documentary or reality tv show on earth and ends up being killed by the humans."
"They have advanced weapon technology, but they don't really know how to use it correctly."
"In fact, much of it is automated."
"Upon losing the communications ship, the system goes into a defensive mode, deploying the isolation dome and neutralizing any potential threats from the locals."
"By the time the aliens deactivate it, they've destroyed a bunch of local population and military."
"The aliens feel that this ruins any potential chance to reach out for help from the humans and decide to just go with maintaining security and securing local resources in order to call for help."
"Eventually the humans wipe them all out, and when news of their demise reaches the alien society it is met with the same contempt as someone petting a Bison at Yellowstone."- BMLortz
What Would Jar Jar say?
"Palpatine used Padme’s life force to keep Vader alive and that’s why she dies."
"Not sadness."- chesterforbes
They're All Connected... Through Violence...
"That Mr. Pink in 'Reservoir Dogs' survives his escape and is on the run living as a waiter at the 50s restaurant in Pulp Fiction."
"Same universe, at least."- Witty_Cost_9917
reservoir dogs GIFGiphyOne of the main reasons people watch movies is to open their imaginations and escape into a world far different from their own.
Making broadening that world all the more fun.
That being said, anyone who wants to stay in the world of Batman and Robin might have too much time on their hands...
Whatever gets you there.
That is my motto when it comes to the ways of seduction.
Turning someone on can be an art form.
Or it can be a simple accident.
Some people have ways that have been perfected.
Other people just stumble along and strike gold.
Redditor celena6443 had some questions about seduction, so they asked:
"What's something simple that turns you on?"
A smile.
A simple smile gets me all of the time.
Kindness First
"I like it when she’s nice."
Ok_Pear_8291
"I like it when she's mean but in a nice way."
presideAM
Making Moves
"Returned interest. If I’m making a move, they’re making it known it’s very welcome."
DefinitelyNotADave
"This is the one. I am texting a girl who I have no idea if she’s into me or not but she gave me her number, didn’t reply to the last text I sent and I’m just like… well it was a question so I’m definitely not going to text again. Now I sit and wonder. I think I may overthink this whole dating thing."
eoJ_semoC_ereH
"Enthusiastic consent is appreciated. If I feel like I'm imposing on someone in any way, it makes me withdraw to avoid being a nuisance. I don't understand why some guys like it when girls display discomfort with romantic vibes."
FriedMattato
The Story
"My wife’s hips when she’s sitting. Specifically, if she’s in her undies doing her makeup, and I can see the little crease that her side butt/hips make. Don’t know why, but just makes me lose all train of thought if I see it."
theonephaze23
"I do indeed lose my train of thought regularly, i.e. whenever my wife changes her crossed legs while sitting on the couch and I'm facing her telling a story."
apeaquatic
"Exactly the same for me!! When I told my wife she don’t get it, and it is that line where her thigh meets the hip it's just so hot."
ilithios27
I Remember
"When she remembers things from previous conversations where I've talked about my hobbies, interests, favorite foods etc etc. I don't tell people these things with the expectation of them remembering or even caring but knowing they've paid attention and cared enough to remember the things I'm passionate about makes me feel valued, respected, and wanted. Anyone who doesn't try to suppress the little kid inside me that is passionate about some dorky things is cool with me."
warrof1
Hold Me
Hugs GIFGiphy"Hug from behind."
happygolucky226I
"Came to the comments to find this. I’m not a short woman, but my husband is much taller than me and a hug from behind combined with a back-of-neck kiss will get me from 0 to 1000 real quick."
IntuitiveMonster
Hug me, hold me, love me.
From behind I feel it.
Not Feet?
Hands Nails GIF by 2021 MTV Video Music AwardsGiphy"Had a casual hookup once who very sensually played with my hands and wow that was a level of intimacy I wasn't aware I could experience, and the immediate go zone it threw me into."
BlondeBreveHC
Big Talker
"The way a guy talks. Not just tone of voice but how he uses his words, or if he talks with his hands, etc."
Kbrown_021
Simplicity
"All my attention-starved ass can think of is positive direct attention. Like, when a person is very clearly interested in talking to you. Instead of passing greetings and bland conversation with the group that could be directed towards anybody who'd listen, they quickly direct their attention towards you and ask questions, trying to get to know you. "
"If someone hot does that... historically I've been too scared to do sh*t, but it definitely gets my heart pounding. Also, boobs. I'm a simple man."
2Scarhand
Gazing
"Eye contact."
nopestillgotit
"As an introvert and... I don't know someone who finds prolonged eye contact uncomfortable, if I'm attracted to someone and they are the type where they hold your gaze in conversations, I get sooo flustered so quick just—tingles everywhere."
bich-imma-slap-u
"This!! Oh, I go weak in my knees when my partner deep gazes into my eyes."
Impressive_Flan1600
Anything
"Sad cringe, but anything that says hey, here's something that I've done for you in my own free time specifically because I remember you saying you liked it, or because I wanted to impress you with something I personally like. I don't know, something (anything) that just reassures me that I'm not just the fat kid on the other end of the seesaw."
tazil_monkey
LOL
Mothers Day Lol GIF by reactionseditorGiphy"A compatible sense of humor. I like to make people laugh and have a unique sense of humor so if I make a woman laugh I'll catch feelings pretty quick. but if she makes me laugh I'm gonna be in love."
dimmu1313
Laughter is the best medicine.
And the best way to love.
Content Warning: death, accidents, illness.
Death is typically the worst thing that we experience while watching a film or reading a book, but some of us have had the terrible experience of witnessing someone else's death in real life.
Redditor T_A_C_T_B asked:
"People that have seen people die (not in a video but actually in front of you), what happened?"
Chest Compressions
"Clinically died, but resuscitated."
"I worked in an ER for a month, he rolled in with an AV block so bad, he had an asystole."
"I've seen him gasping for air, then his eyes going out of focus and looking up, and then stopped breathing."
"Chest compressions and dobutamine got him back up. He got an emergency pacemaker implant."
- sybch
Blood Clots
"This is my cousin's story."
"He was five at the time. His mom (my first cousin) was putting him to bed and then she collapsed. Her eyes rolled to the back of her head and she was just barely breathing."
"He ran downstairs to get help. They called 911, but it was too late. She had a blood clot in her leg that traveled to her lungs. Her lungs started filling with blood. She was gone just like that."
"My mom (her aunt) was on the phone the whole time. I can never get the sound of my mom crying out of my head. It’s the worst sound a kid could ever hear. I was 13 when this happened."
"After that, any time someone had an ache, I was afraid it was a blood clot. Because that’s how my cousin's death started."
"I always have a feeling one of my parents would get into some accident. My dad is a farmer and I heard way too many stories about farming accidents. I experienced way too many people's funerals for my age at the time and death just felt like it was right there. Like it could happen to my friends and family so soon."
"That day changed my life forever. You couldn’t pay me to relive that night."
- Dogs4life2009
The Phone Calls
"I heard my grandma coughing and went to check on her. She was stuck in bed I’m not sure how long. Covered in vomit. I tried to help her to the bathroom and I saw the life leave her face. She dropped."
"I did CPR. I got my dad. I called 911. I showed the ambulance which one was my house."
"I saw them shock her. I heard them call time of death. An hour later, my uncle yelled in my face for not calling him first. I was 11."
- drunkandlonely223
The Transition
"I'm an RN, and it happens all the time. Usually they're unconscious already and they just go from looking asleep to not breathing."
- AdmlBaconStrapes
Lung Cancer
"I held my Dad's hand as he passed from lung cancer. My mother held his other hand, and he took his oxygen mask off, knowing what that meant."
"When he started to make some noises and take breaths after he passed, my mother thought he was 'coming back,' and it was heartbreaking. I just had to tell her that this is what happens. He was ready, it was just that we weren't ready to lose him."
"It was (and I know how terrible this sounds) a relief when it was over. He was very clear beforehand he didn't want to be on any machines, it was fully his choice to take off the mask himself, and it was his right to have that choice."
"I miss him every day; he was my Superman, and I'm grateful that I had the chance to thank him for being the best dad in the world."
"If you've lost somebody close or are struggling with grief, I'll save you the platitudes but I'd like to share one thing I found helpful to remember: we don't ever get over losing someone we love so much, but we do learn to adapt and adjust day by day."
"Grief counseling is more helpful than you'd think. My Superman dad arranged for my mother and me to have grief counseling before he died because he knew we were struggling to accept we would lose him, and he was fine and accepted what was happening. It really helped."
- SabrinaSpellman3
Surrounded by Family
"Me, my mom, and my sisters watched my dad die. It was the 'died peacefully surrounded by family' that you often see in obituaries."
"He was bedridden the last few years of his life due to an inoperable tumor. He would get bed sores, and one eventually got infected, and when we got to the hospital, they told us there was really nothing they could do."
"They waited until we were all there before they took him off life support. We all said our goodbyes while he was still somewhat with it, and while he was a little incoherent, his last real words were how much he loved us."
"After that, it was just us waiting. He was propped up in bed with his head down and it seemed no different than just watching someone sleep. It probably took about 17 to 18 hours. We all didn’t stay the whole time, but we were all there holding hands when he passed. We weren’t even 100% sure he was gone but a nurse came in and confirmed."
"No struggle, no pain, just peaceful."
"I will say, though… the worst part (other than the obvious) was the staff asked if we wanted to step outside for a few minutes so they could finish up and get him straightened out (he was hunched over in bed). When we got back into the room, he was positioned to be lying down but his mouth was wide open, looking like Van Gogh’s 'Scream' painting. That hit a lot harder and was more painful than actually watching him take his last breaths."
- McMc10001
Pedestrian Trouble
"Dude got his skull crushed by a f**king street car five feet away from me. I will never get the sound of it out of my mind for as long as I am alive. Drunk and on drugs, the dude tripped while trying to run across the street in front of it."
"F**k me, just typing this is giving me PTSD."
- himlersgasstation
Metastatic Breast Cancer
"I was with my mom when she passed as a result of metastatic breast cancer. She had been in and out of consciousness for a week but hadn't regained consciousness in two days. It was a brutal fight but a fairly peaceful death if that makes sense."
- WoodlesMoodles
Witnessing Grief
"I saw a poor guy in really bad shape at the part of the hospital where chemo patients sit. Saw a guy just flop over and a woman with him just started wailing. It was terrible."
"That was, for whatever reason, the day I quit Facebook. Just thought life was too fragile to mess around with social media."
"As I type this on Reddit..."
- Worf_in_a_Party_Hat
Heart Attack
"I work at a hotel as a housekeeper. About a week ago I accidentally entered the wrong room and the man in said room was having a heart attack. I'd forgotten my phone, so I sprinted like mad to inform the manager."
"He was initially still alive, but he died the following morning."
- Fr3nchT0astCrunch
Swimming Accidents
"Teens swimming. All of a sudden they panic, (I was on the other side of a body of water) I ran over, and their friend was underwater. I got him out and did CPR, but he didn’t make it. I dream of the kid sometimes."
"It’s not like the movies when the lungs expel water. Algae and whatever else went in my mouth, and they don’t wake up. At least that was my experience."
- Chiefzakk
Moving Boxes
"I was helping someone move apartments, and he had a heart attack right in front of me. Paramedics said it was a cardiac arrest from alcohol withdrawals. He didn't even make a sound. He just fell over and that was it."
- GotTechOnDeck
Breathing Transition
"I watched my mum take her last breath two weeks ago. After a night of really heavy breathing (heart failure), it went into shallow breathing, her face twitched a little, and went into her sleep."
- Bailey0423
A Familiar Phrase
"I’ve been working trauma and high-risk healthcare for nearly a quarter century and have seen more people die than I ever would have imagined."
"Reddit constantly downvotes this response, thinking it’s a Marvel reference."
"People really do often say, 'I don’t feel so good,' as their last words. Seasoned healthcare providers know that phrase is serious."
- Any_Move
We've all experienced something, with some situations being worse than others. But it's hard to imagine going through something worse than witnessing the final moments of someone's life, knowing there's nothing you can do to prolong their time.
All we can do is practice gratitude in our own lives and hug our loved ones a little tighter today.