You don't need to have children to be successful, but gender roles and societal expectations are awful. Just ask any woman you know: Chances are she's been poked and prodded and interrogated over her decision not to have children.
But life goes on and it's full of surprises, as we were so kindly reminded after Redditor Tera711 asked the online community: "Women of Reddit who didn't want to but ended up having kids, what was your experience like?"
"I'm the daughter..."
I'm the daughter of a mother who didn't really want kids or think she'd have them due to the possibility of an inherited disability. Long story short my parents saw a geneticist who said as long as they had kids before a certain age the risk was lower so they went ahead and had my sister and I as my Dad did want kids (although to be honest he just liked the idea of kids rather than the actual raising & responsibility of them). My mum used to tell me she felt cheated having us as we didn't fit into her plans or have the same interests as her.
I think that people need to realise that the kids have no choice in this matter once they are born and I hate that my relationship with my parents is so poor because we weren't really wanted.
"I didn't want kids..."
I didn't want kids, my ex husband did. We had 2. He asked for a divorce 8 months into my second pregnancy. It's way harder than I ever thought it would be. And I love my kids, I couldn't imagine my life without them now. But I still dream about what I wanted to be doing.. or how I can do something with small humans. It slowed down my career, it put major investment opportunities in hold. The sacrifice is underrepresented, far more than I could ever tell you. It's not the worst, worst thing. But if you don't want kids, don't change your mind for someone else.
"I love them as people..."
Oh, not good.
I love them as people, they are my family, they will have happy lives and I will protect them to the death...but I don't enjoy being a mother. I don't identify with it. I have to make sure I have a significant sense of self in my life outside of my time with them. I was young, and think I wanted the experience of being pregnant without what came next.
This is compounded by having two children with special needs, no doubt. When circumstances collide... I have to say no to a work trip, childcare falls through, etc, the sense of sadness and panic of the reality of being tethered to this role, forever, is... Overwhelming.
"And I'm so happy..."
Was always very firm I didn't want children. Not maternal at all. Got pregnant at 21 and had a daughter. I love her more than anything and I think I'm a good mum, but I don't think my life is somehow magically better for having her. I think I would have been equally happy without her. And I'm so happy that now she's 11, my time of active parenting is getting less. I will absolutely never have any more... I'm old enough to recognise I'm too selfish now. My views may be skewed because I've done it all alone, and that's not something I'd ever risk again.
"I always said..."
I always said I never wanted kids, but my husband and I decided to have one. I only said yes because he's the only person I could imagine doing that with and I honestly believed if I didn't, I would regret it when I was older.
Our daughter is almost 3 now and I had no idea I could love, and hate someone so much in my life. No matter how hard days have been with her (she's strong willed and hell bent all the time and is pretty much allergic to sleep), I have small moments with her that make my entire soul happy.
I hate having to live so much of my life for her because it can be overwhelming at times, but I never feel like I regret it. I literally cannot imagine what life would be without feeling her fall asleep in my arms, or seeing her face when she wakes up and sees me, or when she just kisses me and tells me she loves me for no reason.
I'm not a helicopter parent, I likely let her get away with too much, but she's a sweet kid who wants to take care of everyone around her, who just happens to have a raging attitude just like me.
10/10 would do again if I went back in time.
"A year later..."Giphy
I originally DID want kids. But then I had a nephew and decided I didn't want to be a mom. Being an aunt better suited me and I was totally in love with being one.
A year later I found myself pregnant unexpectedly. My birth control failed and my boyfriend and I had only been together for a couple of months. It was a whirlwind of emotions. But now we are a very happy little family living under one roof with our nine month old.
She is SOMETHING ELSE sometimes. She was an incredibly difficult baby- nothing like my nephew. I admit, there are times when I resent her and I feel like she's taking too much from me. But I can't imagine life without her now. And my boyfriend, who never wanted kids, is smitten with her. He texted me this morning "she sure grows on ya, doesn't she?"
"I didn't want..."
I didn't want to have kids even after meeting my ex husband. He had a daughter and even though I grew to love her I was terrified of the lifelong responsibility but getting to know my SD made me want a little one on my own. I have two now, 9 and 5 and another one on the way with my new partner.
Piece of advice though, which I noticed a lot of people do, my ex husband urged me to stay together for the kids so they wouldn't have to deal with a broken family, never have and/or stay with a partner because of your kids, with having them you have to sacrifice some parts of yourself but definitely not that. Children are ungrateful and they leave in the end, give to them as much as you can without sacrificing yourself too much. We are important too.
"I am now divorced..."
I know having kids was absolutely not for me. I always said I never wanted kids, but the guy I married did. Everyone told me how I would change my mind and how I would fall absolutely in love once I had one. So I ignored my instincts and trusted everyone else and had a kid.
I am now divorced and share custody of my son. If I'm being honest, the shared custody is what keeps me sane. I could not do this everyday. Being a mom, especially to a baby or toddler, is pure hell. I don't know why anyone would sign up for that, like ever. Don't even get me started on how people have more than one?!
But the silver lining is, it does get better as they get older. It gets easier. And honestly, everything everyone said is true. I love my kid more than life itself. I would do anything to make him happy. I love him more than I love myself. Still doesn't make me love being a mom though.
"I would have been better off..."
Not good. I had a lot of regret and rage for years. I don't recommend it if you're not 100%, or close to it.
I would have been better off never having had a kid. I dealt with it the best I could, because there's no going back and why make the kid suffer too.
"I met my wife..."
I didn't want any. I now have 5.
I met my wife and she had one. The kid was cool and I figured we could do one more and I liked the idea of pregnancy. Then we adopted two siblings. Then we got a call about another baby in need of a home.
I mostly didn't want kids because I accepted it wasn't going to happen. I'm glad it did.
"I was on the fence..."
I was on the fence, leaning towards not having them.
He's the best part of my life. It's hard and frustrating and exhausting sometimes, but so worth it. He's only 6 months old and I can't imagine not having him, he made our little family complete and I'm so excited for the adventures we're going to have. I am so, so, so glad we had him and have not regretted my decision for a second.
We got really lucky to have a "unicorn baby"- he sleeps well, is perfectly healthy, and very rarely fusses or cries. I think his disposition has gone a long way in helping me enjoy parenthood, but I'd love the shit out of him either way.
But I also don't think I'd have regretted not having kids. I can't imagine life without him now, but I think i could've been perfectly happy and fulfilled being childfree too.
"I did not want kids..."
I did not want kids, got pregnant at 17. Mother at 18. Stepmother at 38. So, now have two fully grown adult children. One married, one in college. I don't regret it as in, I LOVE both of them.
However, if I had it to do over again, I would make different life choices. That's the thing, right? We have this capacity to find the good and make the best of any situation even if it wasn't our first choice. But knowing what I have, I wouldn't give it up. If I had a do-over and got pregnant/didn't abort, I still would have kept the baby rather than adopt. But, if the do-over allowed me to NOT get pregnant, I'd choose that. It was really difficult for so many reasons.
All of that said, I've never been happier than I am now. My husband and I moved across the country, finally bought a house, and are both where we want to be. It took a lifetime, literally... but I'm finally here and finally at peace.
Having children is difficult under the best of circumstances. I feel that it was made easier for me for a lot of reasons. I had good family support. And having one "kid" at a time made things much easier. I knew my stepchild since birth but did not live w/get married to their father until they were in middle school. So, I didn't have to really do two "babies."
When I got married, my in-laws started in with the "when are you having a baby!?" stuff and I firmly said NO. Only pets from here on out. Truthfully, getting pregnant is one of my biggest fears. At this point in my life, I would be literally DEVASTATED to have to go through it all again. It's sort of up there with being buried alive. But I don't hate kids. I find other people's children to often be a wonderful source of joy. It's just not for me. I'm very happy being an aunt to 8.
"She developed some severe behavior issues..."
Sometimes yes and others not. Kid's dad ended up being basically useless, though I chalk that up to me being young and dumb and making a young dumb choice. She is wonderful. She was diagnosed with epilepsy at age 11 and it's not fully controlled so that's been hard. Luckily she doesn't have too many of the big kinds of seizures. She developed some severe behavior issues in adolescence and is now 16 and was just diagnosed with borderline personality disorder at the all girls residential psychiatric facility (think pool, chef, etc) I checked her in to to get her. I love her so so much. I am also terrified of when she comes home that she will upend my life again. It's finally been a quiet, stable six weeks with no surprises happening except one, and someone else handled that. I don't want her back. Not like this. Only because I can't handle it. I literally cannot work because of the impacts on me and there's no one to support me. I'm fucked, at least for a while. There are many wonderful days I've thought to myself how glad I am I had her, and others (even more recently) where I regret ever having a kid.
It's such a roll of the dice and you've no control over what you get. I don't think most people ask themselves if they're ready for these kinds of tragic and difficult situations - disease? Disability? Personality disorder? Illness? Something that makes them be a caregiver for the rest of their lives?
"I never wanted kids..."
I never wanted kids, but here I am with a 4 month old. I got pregnant, and everything inside me screamed not to abort. I had a fear of giving birth, it was actually my main reason for not wanting kids of my own, I didn't want to give vaginal birth. But I did. All the midwives and doctors told me it would be ok, my downstairs would return to normal. It might be, but this feeling I'm stuck with. I feel like I'm less worth as a person.
I love my baby, I'm glad I had him, because a world without him would be worse. He is such a happy baby, he constantly smiles and laughs and "talks". But I had him at the cost of being okay with myself.
"I was so sick."
I didn't want children, and I got pregnant not long after my first year of marriage. I was careful with my birth control, but I learned later that my migraine medication lowered the effectiveness of the pill.
I was so sick. I had to be put on special medication to stop me from throwing up, as I was vomiting upwards of 9 times a day. I couldn't eat anything. I wasn't sleeping, my headaches were awful since I couldn't take my medication. I'm a special education teacher, and someone always had to be covering my room so I could leave and throw up.
About since six months in we learned I had pre-eclampsia. My blood pressure was just out of control and some of my organs were starting to struggle. I was put on bed rest for a month and my mom had to come stay with me so my husband could continue working. He was calling every hour to check on me, and I was scared and still getting sick.
I was induced a month early, and I truly don't remember much. They over estimated how much anti-seizure medication I would need and I was confused and disoriented for most of the day.
I absolutely had PPD afterwards. I just shut down. I took care of our son, and that was it. I never neglected him, or was unkind to him, I fed him, changed him, rocked him, even sang and cuddled him, but I didn't care. My body was going through the actions and my mind was somewhere else. I would stand in the shower for hours and cry until the water was cold enough that it hurt to breathe. I would just sit and stare out the window or lay down in bed and look at a book without turning the page. I wasn't existing. I didn't talk to my friends or my husband. I didn't do anything. I scared my husband to death. I thought a lot about how easy it would be to drive my car into a tree or off a bridge. To take too many painkillers or leave the car on in the garage. I didn't want to be here anymore.
We couldn't afford for me to go to a therapist, and I never let anything out to let my husband know how bad I was spiraling. I don't know what got me out of it. Time, I guess. Rhythm, having a pattern that I followed everyday. My son getting older and gaining a personality. The consistency of my husband.
I learned my lesson though. When my son was two, I had had an IUD in since he was born. My husband had a vasectomy scheduled. And I had that same feeling, and I just knew. I took a pregnancy test, and I was pregnant again. I didn't sleep until I had an appointment at Planned Parenthood.
I was only five weeks along, but terminating the pregnancy was the beat decision I could have made. I know in my heart that if I would have kept it, and gone through another 8 months, I would have killed myself before it was over. I just couldn't do it again.
I love my son, he is three, hilarious, smart, and very very kind. He looks like his dad and his best friend is my mom. He loves our cat more than anyone and when he grows up he wants to be Elasti-girl from the Incredibles. He demands cuddles and we read a pile of books every night. He tells me I'm his princess, and I love him with all my heart.
I am a different person than I was before I had him. I miss the life I had before. I'm not going to say that I don't wish I couldn't change things. But that doesn't mean I don't love my son. This isn't the life I wanted or imagined, but it is mine, and it makes me happy.
"I never wanted children..."
I never wanted children because I didn't want the responsibility of taken care of a little person. It scared me more than anything. I got pregnant on accident and had my son and he is by far the best thing that could have happened. I loved being a mom so much we tried for more but sadly I miscarried multiple times. So he's my only one. The pregnancy for him was high risk, it was tough. He's my little miracle. I wouldn't change a thing.
"I wanted to be..."
I never wanted kids. Never wanted to get married. I wanted to be a sociologist in the Congo or something lol. 2 kids and 2 divorces later I've reconciled myself to the fact that I have no dreams anymore and my life and happiness is about the kids. I'm happy now but it took me a long time to be at peace with that.
Being woken up suddenly is not very good for our health.
Especially for the elderly, it's not something to make a habit of. Sleep interruption can increase blood pressure, cause a worsened self image, and cause a day filled with irritation and confusion.
No one wants to be woken up, but there are definitely some reasons for being woken up that are worse than your alarm clock.
We went to Ask Reddit to find out some of the worst reasons people have been woken up.
Redditor Toothpiicxxk asked:
"What's the worst reason you woke up?"
These truly are the worst.
We love our pets, but sometimes not so much.
"My cat was throwing up right next to me."
"She brought you breakfast how cute."
"I was just about to answer that my cat threw up right on me, specifically my hair, which I had just washed..."
Some horrible news hits you.
"Being woken up to be told someone you know died certainly qualifies."
"Or when you already know, but you wake up in that ignorant bliss that lasts for about a second and then it hits you. And this goes on for a long time."
"It's been about 15 years and I still will wake up on occasion thinking I have to tell my older brother something cool that I know he'd love to hear about. Or have a vivid a** dream about how it was all an mistake and he's still here. Happens less often then it used to but oof does it ever still hurt."
"Woke up at about 3am to a cop repeatedly ringing my bell. my mom had accidentally drowned in the tub. she was really weak from chemo."
"Woke up to a phone call telling me my incredible brother-in-law had been hit and killed by a drunk & high driver, his wife was also expected to pass as her neck had been broken, and their kids were both in surgery. My husband and I were in the will to get the kids, so we needed to fly to Chicago right away. As I sat there in shock, I hung up the phone, turned to see my sleeping husband snoring away, and knowing I would now have to wake him up to tell him the worst news he would ever hear."
2018 false missile alert.
"I live in Hawaii, that time we got the missile scare."
"Oof at least it wasn't real but I would have definitely panicked if that was me."
"Damn, I slept straight through it. My mom literally woke me up, told me; and I still went back to sleep."
"What were you supposed to do? Go outside and witness your annihilation?"
"I think it's the right thing to do to inform people even if there isn't necessarily anything that can be done about it."
"Some people would appreciate being able to conduct prayers, get one last hug with their loved ones, etc."
"Cockroach walking on my lips with no shame. I brutally murdered it as soon as I yeeted it halfway across the room."
"I had a weird dream about a cockroach somehow paralyzing a friend then walking towards me in that same room. Then I awoke to find this a**hole cockroach slowly creeping on my lips."
"When I threw it away, what startled me was it did not panic AT ALL. It even slowly headed towards me!"
"I also mouth washed and brushed my teeth and even disinfected my lips with alcohol. It was a surreal experience."
"I seriously loathe roaches and there's no other way to ensure its death than a brutal one."
Screams in the night.
"One time I got woken up by a blood curdling scream in the middle of the night. I live alone and it also woke up my dog who was freaked out the rest of the night. Searched everywhere including outside and didn't find anything."
"Well that was lucky. Imagine what would have happened if you had found it..."
"Hopefully a fox, coyote, cat, or cougar."
"Being clearly asleep, and then someone wakes you to ask, 'Are you asleep?'"
"Bruh my mom be like [this]."
"The only correct answer to this question is 'yes.'"
"I woke up to my mom calling me sobbing because she thought I had died, I was 10 hours away and my blood sugar was severely low and wasn't answering any calls, that was horrifying."
"We've learned what does and doesn't work for waking me up in a medical emergency."
"Blood sugar can be a b*tch, found my mum having a really bad hypo while sleeping when I was a toddler and for years and years after would wake her up to check she was okay without realizing I was doing it for that reason. Glad you're okay!"
Something so relatable.
"My alarm rung. It's a daily struggle."
We've all been there.
If you're not a morning person, waking up in the morning can already be a challenge, but no one wants to get woken up to horrible news or an emergency.
In fact, we should be waking up naturally with our own personal sleeping patterns.
We all know that's easier said than done.
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People have a habit of excusing crap behavior - honestly because it's often easier in the short term. Long term = flaming dumpster fire.
The excuses people use to dismiss behavior range from mundane and meaningless to the sort of leaps normally reserved for kangaroos and Olympians. It's sometimes amazing that these excuses work - but they do.
Some of them work so well that they're just sort of "accepted." That, obviously, kind of sucks and is something we should avoid - so let's talk about 'em.
Can't swerve around what you don't see, ya know?
Reddit user TMTtasmachine asked:
... and away we go.
" 'That's just how they are.' "
"One of the biggest enablers for tantrum throwing, bullying, etc. is that they get treated with kid gloves to avoid dealing with them." - alexrt87
"Oh my God you hit the nail on the head. Whenever someone says 'that's just the way they are' I say:"
" 'Yes, that's the point! Glad you noticed too! Now is it okey-doke for them to be jerks they have special jerk privileges? Or maybe they are just people and should treat everyone else as such?' " - notatrumpchump
"It depends on how it's said."
"People are the way that they are, and you shouldn't be surprised when they continue to be that way."
"This, obviously, doesn't excuse it - but people also shouldn't be surprised when a bad person continues to make bad decisions. Neither should we waste space in our minds being bothered by it." - unlawfulfoxy
Harassment Isn't Humorseason 2 lol GIF by ShamelessGiphy
" 'It's just a joke, bro.' Harassing people isn't humor." - loading__99
"A guy who says/does offensive things and decides whether he was joking based on the reaction of people around him." - Eatsleeptren
"Dude, legit had someone come up to me and start shouting in my face, calling me Madison, pretending I was cheating on him. Literally the most crowded location outside a theater, everyone staring at us, looking at me like I was some horrible cheater while I was out with my then fiancé."
"I started hyperventilating, my fiancé nearly decked the dude, and then someone shouts 'CUT' like this is some big 'YOU'RE ON CANDID CAMERA' moment and everything's supposed to be okay."
"I burst into tears."
"It was the most humiliating moment of my life, and thank god my then fiancé, now husband is not the type to overreact or jump to conclusions, or be abusive. Imagine how bad that could have been for someone with an angry or abusive partner."
"Prank videos are a plague on the internet and there is a REASON so many of them are fake, or involve actors." - Darkovika
Stay Sober, Then!Drunk Drinking Beer GIFGiphy
" 'I was drunk / high / etc.' "
"Then don't drink?! Stay sober if you can't NOT be an a**hole!" - BasedBenjamin
"Alternately, I hear a lot of 'I'm a happy drunk!' "
"Yeah, according to your drunk a$s. That doesn't mean you're not an ahole. Not remembering is not an excuse either." - PepeBabinski
"I was also loud, obnoxious, and I wouldn't remember sh*t the next day."
"Quitting drinking has been one of my best choices of my life." - TTungsteNN
"Help"new girl coach GIFGiphy
" 'I'm just trying to help you' " - Miserable-Air1234
"Every time I've heard this, they're manipulating me while helping only themselves." - mykittenfarts
"My Mom to a T. Everything she does is better than anyone else's and she always gets pissed that people don't praise her for 'helping.' "
"She's now a certified (by herself) psychic and I have come to the conclusion that she's not a covert narcissist but an obvious one. I really wish I was joking." - Silent_Discussion657
Parenting ProblemsLeave Me Alone Run GIF by TLC EuropeGiphy
"Any variation of 'I'm a Mother/parent.' "
"Had some lady cut me in line at a coffee shop and she hit me with 'I'm a single Mom of 3!' as her excuse."
"Ok? And? I was still here first." - maid-for-hire
"I'm a single mom and I f*cking haaaate when other single moms/parents pull that sh*t to get special treatment."
"Last week, I was having a rough morning, my kid was being difficult, and I was running late. I was rude to a cashier over a minor inconvenience."
"Not only did I apologize for my shitty behavior, I wrote corporate to let them know how professional and patient she was while I acted like a f*cking toddler."
"Was being a parent part of the reason I was frustrated? Absolutely. Was it an excuse for that behavior? HELL no."
"I acted like a b*tch, and I called myself out, and I apologized. I still feel bad about that - I rarely let things get to me to the point I snap at others." - ClusterfckyShtshow
"Wow. I'm a Mom as well and tired but it doesn't give anyone a right to use it as some sort of ploy to get away with stuff."
"Like, mice become Moms about 12 times a year. You're not special 🤣" - SpoonLoops
Believing Your BossThe Office Monday GIF by 20th Century Fox Home EntertainmentGiphy
"I had a boss say some really racist sh*t around me one day and the next day, out of nowhere, he says:"
" 'Don't believe half the things that come out of my mouth!' "
"It was not really an excuse, more like trying to cover for himself after the fact, but still stuck with me." - sirlongbottom441
"Report them to HR. Seriously." - kokichi--ouma
"Looking past the racist stuff for a bit, that's not a very encouraging thing to hear from a boss…" - WonderfulBlackberry9
Bad Day AgainBad Day Reaction GIF by Schitt's CreekGiphy
" 'I'm having a bad day/week' "
"Okay, so you decide everybody that you interact with deserves the same fate? Get out of here, dude." - myordinaryexistence
"We all got stress, don't take it out on me. I get some people have stress bad enough for it to be passable every once and a while (family member passing, etc) but general, stress should not lead to you being a jerk to me." - willsimpforfree
"Damn, I'm definitely guilty of this. Usually I remember to apologize after but at this point I've learned to just avoid the situation in the first place by minimizing my interaction with people if I'm in a shitty mood." - nozzzrul
"Reminds me of when that White boy went on a murder rampage and killed a bunch of Asian women & that a-hole sheriff gave a press conference telling the media that the 'poor boy had a bad day.' "
"My idea of a bad day involves going home after a rough day at work and just staying in the house."
"Apparently, I should change my ethnicity from Asian to White and go on a murder rampage, see if my @ss gets a sympathetic sheriff to say on my behalf that I had 'a bad day.' " - kingkazul400
It's Not An ExcuseSeason 2 Reaction GIF by FriendsGiphy
"This won't go down well, but using depression as an excuse. As someone who suffers from it, it's still not ok to treat others like sh*t" - Rainbowwallstickers
"Could not agree enough. My partner has a 'friend' who treats everyone like sh*t all the time, has no consideration for others and openly mocks people in public."
"She gets so much grace from those around her under the guise of her 'mental health.' It's so infuriating watching an adult woman never have to take responsibility for her actions." - 34boor
"I get there are some things you can't control, but you are still responsible for keeping that sh*t in check and if you're aware of your mental illness, you should be aware of how you approach people and situations."
"I'll admit I used to be guilty of using my mental illness to be an @ss, but now I'm trying to better myself" - VeeSquibbles
Florida Gonna FloridaLooney Tunes Florida GIFGiphy
"People are letting Florida off the hook way too damn much. And I live in Florida."
"Just because it's hilarious doesn't mean it isn't still completely f*cked up." - AlphaWhiskeyOscar
"The phrase 'Florida Man' is almost always followed some heinous way a Floridian is being an a$$hole." - PepeBabinski
"I'm also originally from Florida, and that state has serious problems. We need to pay attention to it." - [Reddit]
Moment of honesty ... as a Floridian ... yeaaaah, I'm gonna have to agree with that last one.
We live in a time where we are critically re-examining how we pay workers. After a two-year-long pandemic where some low-income and "unskilled" jobs were deemed "essential," we now must put our money where our mouth is.
For too long in the world have incredibly important jobs been overlooked or else outright maligned. Teachers in the USA make some of the least money, career-wise, and have some of the hardest jobs. Dancers pay to put their bodies through hell with no guarantee of paid work after training.
So how do we fix this problem? By naming it, of course.
Redditor u/NightReader5 asked:
"What professions are severely underpaid?"
Here were some of those answers.
Our Elderly Deserve Better
"I worked as a CNA in a nursing home and I loved it. It's such hard work for such little pay and that's why I had to leave."
"Not only that but I was a rare person in that I LOVED caring for the residents. Nothing was beneath me such as changing a dirty diaper or spoon feeding."
"Everything helped their quality of life. Sucks they can't keep people that genuinely enjoy it cause I couldn't make over $10 an hour."-Dancer9d9
"Came here to say this: Emergency Medical Technicians. I will never not be just a bit salty about this."
"My husband is one of those people who does this job because it's his passion and he loves helping people."
"It would be nice if he earned more than the kid who just got hired at McDonald's this morning."-ThePotterheadHobbit
High School Bathrooms....
"The janitors at my high school. I walked in the men's bathroom there once and there was a mega-giant steaming pile of crap and diarrhea right in the middle of the floor."-satanic-sex-god
"Anyhow. Are you sure that was a high school? We're talking grades 9-12 here, right?"-VoicedVelarNasal
"Unfortunately yes. Other highlights of my oh so great high school men's bathroom that contains teenagers from 14 to as old as 20 are:"
"A dude bringing a sledgehammer to school and smashing a sink, the toilets being blown up, the toilets being frequently clogged with trash..."
"Smashed beer bottle glass covering the floor, and a centimeter of pee flooding the bathroom whenever you walk in. I hate it here."-satanic-sex-god
You know immediately YOU might not want to do this job--so why is someone else getting paid next to nothing to do it?
The More You Help Others The Less You Get Paid
"Statistically speaking, any job that provides significant social benefit to others, the less you will get paid, something that David Graeber discusses in essays and his work, Bullsh*t Jobs."
"This is so sad. I'm currently in a job that pays very well, I just dont find any meaning or fulfillment with it. I want so badly to do something where I'd be helping others- something with purpose- but I honestly dont think I can afford it."-mko0njo9
"Social workers. Dealing with negligent, abusive parents while trying to help the children while in an underfunded, low-paid system is a travesty."-ZRX1200R
"Can also confirm. I like working with my family's but I don't get paid enough to deal with their crap or most of the bureaucracy."-Altowhovian93
Minimum Wage To Go Against FIRE
"Entry level wildland firefighters. They start them at $15 an hour."-NuclearEyedSquirrel
"I live in a small town in Ohio and I think the lowest starting wage I've seen was 11."
"That's the low side and those places are having trouble hiring because there's so many places paying higher. McDonald's here starts at 13 or 14 an hour."-rjoh4459
One Kid, One Para
"Paraprofessionals. Yea, my town increased the pay rate for paraprofessionals to get more people to apply since they have a shortage but the pay increase was not that good IMO."
"For that job, I think you need to be compensated for the physical and mental demands of the job."
"It's a hard job and they should be paid for the work, the pay rate in my community for the job with 60 credits is $14.50 but I think it should be more than that."-YourQueen2Bee
The question then becomes, why won't the people who HAVE money do something to help the quality of these jobs, and make sure that these people get paid?
"Everything in veterinary medicine. Kennel technicians, Veterinary assistants, Veterinary technicians, Veterinary receptionists, and Veterinarians."-aIsiduous
"Veterinary interns/residents, too. I work 70-120hrs+ per week, am on call about half the days per month, have to pay for my own board exams and accreditation fees out of pocket, and all for ~$33,000 per year."-WyrdHarper
"It's bullsh*t. There's nothing on this planet I want to do more than be a veterinarian, but I simply cannot afford the debt. Hopefully one day we'll get the recognition deserved. Stick in there, I know you got this!"--aIsiduous
In The Classroom
"I work in a special school, I love it but I really don't think we get paid enough for all the times we get yelled at, punched, kicked, bit, spat on, cursed at, have our classrooms trashed, have things thrown at us..."
"And then we also have parents making demands and admin telling us their 'simple' solutions to all of it that we have to carry out while they have zero clue on what it's actually like to spend a day in the classroom."-Sajiri
A Morbid State Of Affairs
"Funeral directors/embalmers/funeral professionals. We didn't get days or holidays off to begin with. Now the pandemic has stretched us to working double overtime, which we are exempt from getting paid for under Florida statutes."
"And forget hazard pay for being exposed to COVID multiple times a day every day via the deceased, the deceased's family members, the general public attending funerals, and the hospital/nursing facilities we remove decedents from."-Lesscute
So why are we holding off on giving these people a raise? Their jobs involve dangerous, mentally and emotionally taxing situations, and yet, we treat them as if society could function without them. The truth is it couldn't.
And society had best learn that as soon as possible.
What causes a small town to die?
Honestly, there can be quite a few factors, but perhaps the biggest one is that small towns often lack the upward mobility opportunities that are more available in urban areas.
As a result, many towns around the United States for instance have lost tens of millions of people as their populations seek jobs and opportunities elsewhere.
And what remains of these places can be pretty sketchy.
People told us more after Redditor RadicalizedSnackWrap asked the online community,
"What's a super sketchy US city that we never hear about?"
"Daytona Beach, FL. Imagine a bunch of alcoholic high school kids who came for spring break in 1984, and never left, and never grew up."
Oh, I don't have to imagine it.
I've seen it!
I lived in a neighboring town for a while and bodies would always turn up in farmer's fields that the cartel in Yakima had dropped off there."
Sounds like Netflix needs to get its hands on Yakima, a new show to go against Ozark.
"I remember a story..."
"Guntersville, Alabama. If I were to ballpark it, over 80% of the population are meth addicts and traffickers.
I remember a story where a man walked into the Walmart, took all the supplies and equipment required to cook, and proceeded to cook meth in the bathroom."
"A run-down town..."
"Reading, PA. A run-down town that is mostly used as a central point to run drugs between New York and Philly."
I am writing this from right nearby actually, and I can smell it from here.
"Small town almost entirely..."
"Butte, Montana. Small town almost entirely comprised of violent meth heads."
"More of a town than a city..."
More of a town than a city, but it's such a weird place, bordering on Twilight Zone. You'll see a meth house right next to a youth theatre."
According to a friend I have who spent a lot of time in Arizona, this sounds about right.
"Used to have..."
"Gary, Indiana. Used to have a prosperous steel economy, but now it's just home to abandoned buildings, failing infrastructure, and lots and lots of crime. Just look up pictures."
"I always said..."
"Amityville. Yes, that Amityville.
I always said the "Amityville Horror" house is for amateurs. You want something scary, put on a nice watch or a gold chain and wander around downtown Amityville after dark."
I went there once.
I have not been back.
"It looks harmless..."
"Harrisburg PA. It looks harmless and maybe a little boring but holy hell that place is a giant puddle of corruption just waiting for someone to step in it. Not just state government, there's a bunch of layers you can use to crawl up the corruption ladder."
"Used to be..."
"Natchez, Mississippi. Use to be the headquarters for the KKK. Not much there besides crackheads, plantation homes, and European tourists. Don't own a nice place if you're black, you'll be stopped by the police and questioned."
It doesn't look any of these are changing anytime soon, and that's sad.
Have some small towns to tell us about? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
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